raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2022 10:11:02 GMT -5
DH is emotionally stunted at age 22 when his illness and surgeries started. 18 surgeries, painful long recoveries, and his not being interested in doing any of the therapeutic emotional work put us where we are. I've been a fantastic caregiver and can clearly handle it all on my own including a high paying career so he's not left with much incentive. I'm beyond frustrated yet again. I'll be left scurrying around finishing the pickup before noon when the housecleaner arrives. We're supposed to go to dinner tonight with friends and vacation next week so once again it feels best not to blow things up right now. Hugs
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Jul 13, 2022 10:13:14 GMT -5
I never lived on my own until DH died. All I do for excitement is move.furniture and foster cats. I have GOT to do something more but I still don't know what. I'm in a rut. Hang out with andi for a weekend. Just a suggestion. Don't worry. I already have that Friday off.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 13, 2022 10:21:45 GMT -5
Now I hear the vacuum bc that's his idea of cleaning. Why can't he realize that is the type of cleaning we are paying for? He can't be bothered to help pick up the kid crap, mail, etc. Because (stereotype alert) men don't want to do any cleanup work unless it involves the application of toxic chemicals or powered devices, preferably combustion engines. The tough stuff- hand-weeding, picking up and putting away, not so much. My husband is good at all of that, but he also irons his own clothes, and does some laundry (I leave his jeans and pants, but usually wash his T-shirts and socks etc with my stuff) and does almost all our cooking. I usually vacuum and sweep/mop, but he will also do that if it needs to be done. My MIL is incredibly efficient, but she had 8 sons and no daughter. If she was going to have help, it was going to be her sons that helped. So many of the older ones know how to cook & clean. I do the paperwork, but he does have a knowledge of what to do with the stuff. We don't have a cleaner, we probably should, but neither one of us wants to spend the $$, so we let some house stuff go.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2022 10:26:30 GMT -5
Random drive by update: DH is incredible. I don’t think I’d marry again bc I would never find anyone who would live up to him They are supposed to be calling me to present the job offer today and I’ve been waiting since 8 on an email to schedule the time for the call. Supposed to be doing some fairly dreary desk work, cannot concentrate for the life of me bc above and, We had a probable tornado tear through the neighborhood last night. No injuries, our property just lost a couple big branches and fence rails and power was out for several hours, but the destruction is incredible. We have a lot of old growth 60-90ft trees in the area and many of them lost branches, fell over, fell on houses. A block away one neighbor lost a deck and next to them there were 4-6 enormous trees that fell on that house. Some siding gone, a few branches punched through the roof of their game room. A big pine tree fell over and blocked the road, an old cherry had its branches twisted together till it looked like a pretzel. Across the street a 70ft walnut lost about half its branches. It’s really sobering. Again, people safe, just a big mess. I was really surprised that we didn’t even make the news but apparently the next neighborhood over got hit even worse. Not really in the mood for hardcore data interpretation rn Liked for the first part. Tornado sounds terrifying though. Glad people are OK.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 13, 2022 10:31:48 GMT -5
I was mid 20s and DH mid 30s when we married. Our issue is unique. With DH starting his demons so young in life he's emotionally stunted. I grew up. He didn't. He's trying but it frustrating waiting for him to catch up. Especially knowing I'm the younger one in the relationship. When 2020 the household and kid duty evened out because we had no choice I was essential and school closed. And it's stayed pretty equal there. It's the being mentally and emotionally an adult that we're not even. It is tiring to always carry the mental burden when there is supposed to be another adult present. I might get flamed for saying this, but I really do think men and women are wired differently. But me saying that is not trying to let either gender off the hook as far as responsibilities. I’ve always admitted that I’m a mess of contradictions as far as that stuff goes. So being a modern woman that works full time, I’m not cool with coming home after work every day, to work some more, while my spouse/partner chills out. I feel like if a man wants a partner/wife that does the traditionally ”woman’s work” he better be willing to do his part and provide and protect. Meaning making enough money that his wife and children can have a decently comfortable life on his income. Maybe I feel so strongly about it because I’m literally on my feet all day at work, either standing or walking, and my feet hurt (and other things) after doing that for over 20 years. So what I really want to do when I get home from work is sit my ass down somewhere. If Mister expected me to cook every day, we would have a serious problem. Because my feet hurt and I just want to sit on my ass after work, so my feet stop screaming at me. I’m not trying to stand over a stove everyday after I get off work, trying to cook. Mister and I have talked a little about me quitting my job. But in reality, I would never just resign and be financially dependent on Mister. In a year or 2 though, I’d give real consideration to early retirement if my job offered it, like they’ve done in the past. I was superwoman, doing it all when I was raising my children, taking care of all my responsibilities and making shit happen……. because it was just me, and I was all my children had. I couldn’t be superwoman these days, even if I wanted to. And I simply don’t want to be that anymore, anyway. Just thinking about all the shit I use to do that was just life for me, makes me tired. If I have to do all that when I supposedly have a life partner, I’d rather just be by myself. DH and I are late 50's and somewhat feeling our age too. I figure my DH works pretty hard. He works in his office on Saturdays from about 9-12 often to 1 or 2 pm. I often find him sleeping on the couch on Saturday afternoon. I usually just let him nap, unless something really needs to be done or we need to go somewhere. I have foot issues and back issues. DH gets on me more than I get at him, but I would not say it is unfair. He was super mad at me the other day b/c the air was on and the windows open. I had not turned the air on, so, I did not check to see if the windows were open, I walked the dogs after work, came in and sat down. DH came in pretty late, maybe 8:30 pm and was mad I had not noticed. He must have turned the air on before he left in the am and not closed the windows. Very unlike him. I just bought a robot vacuum. I bought one on prime day last year and sent it back, but lots of people use them, so I am going to try it. We will just have to make sure we pick up the dog stuff before we run it, cheper than a cleaning lady.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2022 10:34:10 GMT -5
Random drive by update: DH is incredible. I don’t think I’d marry again bc I would never find anyone who would live up to him They are supposed to be calling me to present the job offer today and I’ve been waiting since 8 on an email to schedule the time for the call. Supposed to be doing some fairly dreary desk work, cannot concentrate for the life of me bc above and, We had a probable tornado tear through the neighborhood last night. No injuries, our property just lost a couple big branches and fence rails and power was out for several hours, but the destruction is incredible. We have a lot of old growth 60-90ft trees in the area and many of them lost branches, fell over, fell on houses. A block away one neighbor lost a deck and next to them there were 4-6 enormous trees that fell on that house. Some siding gone, a few branches punched through the roof of their game room. A big pine tree fell over and blocked the road, an old cherry had its branches twisted together till it looked like a pretzel. Across the street a 70ft walnut lost about half its branches. It’s really sobering. Again, people safe, just a big mess. I was really surprised that we didn’t even make the news but apparently the next neighborhood over got hit even worse. Not really in the mood for hardcore data interpretation rn I'm glad you are basically okay, but an event like that is terrifying for everyone.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 13, 2022 10:38:06 GMT -5
Drywall guy is stopping by this morning to inspect the mudding he did yesterday. I'm going to our decorator's showroom to choose kitchen backsplash tile. Then, I'll work a half-day at my new school. I need to reconcile my accounts before we go to San Francisco tomorrow. I just enjoyed my first cup of coffee out on my front porch. I may take my MacBook out there with my second cup.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jul 13, 2022 10:43:54 GMT -5
I think after reading all of this, I am very glad I followed through on my instincts not to marry either of the two men I was in love with. And we never lived together. A different reason with each one, but it was the correct decision both times. I am with chiver on cleaning. My house would be so much cleaner if I didn't have two cats. So much cleaner. It's a constant chore. After being here 5 days, I realize now that I am correct that I could never have raised kids. I would rather be the auntie that is loved. The Toddler had a meltdown this morning when they got home. Tonight they went out for dinner to celebrate their wedding anniversary and he had another meltdown when they came home. The morning didn't last very long but the one this evening was over 3 hours. I could not do this every day. I don't know how they do it or any of you do it. DS never had a meltdown or temper tantrum...not once. He's on the autism spectrum and usually sat in a corner, hoping nobody would notice him. I would have given anything for him to have a temper tantrum like normal children.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jul 13, 2022 11:06:53 GMT -5
Mister came home with some idea involving building a frame on the deck to enclose the tomato plants. He took me outside with his notepad and measuring tape to show me what he was thinking.Uhhhh…. No. He’s already said there’s too much stuff on the deck with the tomato plants, idk why he would want to build a structure on the deck to enclose them. Well I do know why, he‘s trying to please me because I’ve been so discouraged and upset about the squirrels getting to my tomatoes. I told him if we are going to build something, I’d prefer it be on the ground. For now, I just want to do what we can with minimal effort and cost, to protect the tomato plants on the deck until we figure out something permanent….. on the ground. I took him inside and showed him pictures on my IPad of what I’d like, so he’d see I’m not wanting something huge or overly complicated. Just U shaped raised beds, enclosed with wire/mesh to keep critters out. Maybe 8’ x 8’, so not really that big. He’s out in the yard as I type, with a measuring tape, I guess trying to find a suitable spot or just trying to see how big 8’x8’ would be. Today I peeled and diced most of the ripe tomatoes that were in the house,to freeze them. All of the ones I have left outside from the squirrels raiding them, are still green, and the squirrels have been eating the green ones too. They’ve stripped one plant entirely, and it was the one that had the most tomatoes on it. I know it’s just nature having her way, but I’ve been really upset about the squirrels. I was so excited about my tomatoes as a new gardener, maybe that’s why it upset me so much lol. I read that squirrels don't like mint so it's suggested to plant a few mint plants around tomatoes. Bonus: tomatoes and mint pair well together, whether in a salad, pasta sauce, pizza toppings, etc. Also, the same site mentioned apple cider vinegar also works. It said to soak a few rags in it and place them around the plants. Although, I'm not sure how strong the smell would be and it could negatively affect your enjoyment of the deck and Newbie's running around the back yard. I'd assume dogs wouldn't like that smell, either. Aesthetically, I'd try the mint.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jul 13, 2022 11:14:10 GMT -5
lurkyloo - I was driving in that storm as it made its way to you. It was really scare, and trees were coming down everywhere. Glad everyone is safe!
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ners
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Post by ners on Jul 13, 2022 11:26:59 GMT -5
Eating lunch.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 13, 2022 11:31:01 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever seen a 3 hour one but once Gwen had one of those tantrums where she threw herself on the ground then got back up if I wasn't looking. I amused myself wandering around the house to see if she would follow me then dramatically turn to look at her. .. boom back on the floor. Took her a few minutes to realize she wasn't getting the reaction she wanted and I was in fact screwing with her. She never had one of those again. Still looking for my will to live. The entire world is just on freaking fire anymore. My parents had an epic fight last night. Not my circus not my monkeys anymore now that I am not worried I'm going to have to pick which parent to live with, but still. Then the business isn't doing well because of everything going on with inflation and gas prices. We're losing small businesses left and right around here. People who made it through COVID finally hit the wall. Eventually all that will be left is chains like in Idiocracy. Then while I do not mind having a break from the hellions that are the neighbor kids behind us it still bothers me. Not once did either of them ask us about their kids' behavior in all this, they just decided my kid is the ringleader. Your kids have been major assholes towards me and my husband. Plus they just come into our house uninvited and eat damn near all my groceries (though this in large part DH's fault because he insists it's being a good host. Yeah in 1973 when groceries cost a nickel maybe). They are all feeding off each other. I'm going to work with reestablishing with her better more respectful manners. We're going to encourage her to play with her other friend when available.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 13, 2022 12:12:26 GMT -5
I just lost my shit due to a massive mess up by one of our two credit unions. It stems from an error made by a teller at the beginning of May. I originally tried to fix the issue the beginning of June, and I was assured it was taken care of. I called today to find out why I still didn't have documentation of the everything being corrected. The credit union customer service rep who answered the state-wide line was horrendous to work with. I cannot even believe how awful she was. I kept telling her that I understood she had not caused the problem, but that I have become frustrated that this has been a two month problem. She actually told me that I didn't even have a problem and had no reason to be so upset.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Jul 13, 2022 12:23:30 GMT -5
In honor of my vacation day tomorrow, I think I will be shutting down at 3 today.
I have already informed work that I will be out of cell range most of the day.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jul 13, 2022 12:26:36 GMT -5
I know what you mean about the kids eating at your house. I came home early one day for lunch. There were 6 kids eating lunch on my dime. I was pissed. My son said I didn't understand. One of the kid's parents owned a Kum and Go type store. I think they ate there frequently on their dime. Yes, my grocery bill was way too high for the mid-80s. And my memory faded there. I just finished lunch and then meet some ladies at 1:00 p.m. I took my wedding ring in to get the prongs looked at after 43 years. Yes, it needs work. I'm lucky one of the diamonds didn't fall out. I had quit wearing it when I could feel it snag on clothing. I have a friend who works at a jeweler. I wouldn't trust anyone else. When it was new, I took it in for annual inspection. The store eventually left town.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Jul 13, 2022 12:29:57 GMT -5
I just lost my shit due to a massive mess up by one of our two credit unions. It stems from an error made by a teller at the beginning of May. I originally tried to fix the issue the beginning of June, and I was assured it was taken care of. I called today to find out why I still didn't have documentation of the everything being corrected. The credit union customer service rep who answered the state-wide line was horrendous to work with. I cannot even believe how awful she was. I kept telling her that I understood she had not caused the problem, but that I have become frustrated that this has been a two month problem. She actually told me that I didn't even have a problem and had no reason to be so upset. What kind of problem?
Try one more time then call or get online with your state attorney general to file a complaint and let them sort it out.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2022 12:39:18 GMT -5
I just lost my shit due to a massive mess up by one of our two credit unions. It stems from an error made by a teller at the beginning of May. I originally tried to fix the issue the beginning of June, and I was assured it was taken care of. I called today to find out why I still didn't have documentation of the everything being corrected. The credit union customer service rep who answered the state-wide line was horrendous to work with. I cannot even believe how awful she was. I kept telling her that I understood she had not caused the problem, but that I have become frustrated that this has been a two month problem. She actually told me that I didn't even have a problem and had no reason to be so upset. That rep must be some very special kind of stupid - your shit loss is totally justified
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 13, 2022 12:41:40 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever seen a 3 hour one but once Gwen had one of those tantrums where she threw herself on the ground then got back up if I wasn't looking. I amused myself wandering around the house to see if she would follow me then dramatically turn to look at her. .. boom back on the floor. Took her a few minutes to realize she wasn't getting the reaction she wanted and I was in fact screwing with her. She never had one of those again. Still looking for my will to live. The entire world is just on freaking fire anymore. My parents had an epic fight last night. Not my circus not my monkeys anymore now that I am not worried I'm going to have to pick which parent to live with, but still. Then the business isn't doing well because of everything going on with inflation and gas prices. We're losing small businesses left and right around here. People who made it through COVID finally hit the wall. Eventually all that will be left is chains like in Idiocracy. Then while I do not mind having a break from the hellions that are the neighbor kids behind us it still bothers me. Not once did either of them ask us about their kids' behavior in all this, they just decided my kid is the ringleader. Your kids have been major assholes towards me and my husband. Plus they just come into our house uninvited and eat damn near all my groceries (though this in large part DH's fault because he insists it's being a good host. Yeah in 1973 when groceries cost a nickel maybe). They are all feeding off each other. I'm going to work with reestablishing with her better more respectful manners. We're going to encourage her to play with her other friend when available. Once, when I was a kid my family was eating dinner. One of the neighbor kids walked in the front door, walked past my family eating dinner in the kitchen, opened a kitchen cabinet, pulled out a cookie tin and helped himself to some cookies. My normally calm and cool Dad lost his Sh!t. Neighbor kid went on to be very successful, his parents and my parents remained cordial, we continued to play together and are still on friendly terms although the neighbors sold and moved to assisted living about 2 years ago. Hopefully this will blow over. Idk if talking to the parents might help, or if you should stay out of it. I am pretty sure the neighbor kids parents made him come back an apologize. His Mom just would not have tolerated that at her house...but she was very good natured.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2022 12:42:55 GMT -5
We made a quick run to Lowe's for some candle lighter things, a jug of weed killer, some D batteries, some Bar Keeper's Friend and Kaboom spray cleaner. Dropped my Nespresso pods off at a UPS store to recycle too. I'm going to make some chicken and black bean crispy tacos for supper, topped with avocado and tomato. Tomorrow we're going to a presentation at our bank about estate planning. I don't expect much if anything will be applicable but who knows, I might get a nugget of knowledge
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 13, 2022 13:01:45 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever seen a 3 hour one but once Gwen had one of those tantrums where she threw herself on the ground then got back up if I wasn't looking. I amused myself wandering around the house to see if she would follow me then dramatically turn to look at her. .. boom back on the floor. Took her a few minutes to realize she wasn't getting the reaction she wanted and I was in fact screwing with her. She never had one of those again. Still looking for my will to live. The entire world is just on freaking fire anymore. My parents had an epic fight last night. Not my circus not my monkeys anymore now that I am not worried I'm going to have to pick which parent to live with, but still. Then the business isn't doing well because of everything going on with inflation and gas prices. We're losing small businesses left and right around here. People who made it through COVID finally hit the wall. Eventually all that will be left is chains like in Idiocracy. Then while I do not mind having a break from the hellions that are the neighbor kids behind us it still bothers me. Not once did either of them ask us about their kids' behavior in all this, they just decided my kid is the ringleader. Your kids have been major assholes towards me and my husband. Plus they just come into our house uninvited and eat damn near all my groceries (though this in large part DH's fault because he insists it's being a good host. Yeah in 1973 when groceries cost a nickel maybe). They are all feeding off each other. I'm going to work with reestablishing with her better more respectful manners. We're going to encourage her to play with her other friend when available. Once, when I was a kid my family was eating dinner. One of the neighbor kids walked in the front door, walked past my family eating dinner in the kitchen, opened a kitchen cabinet, pulled out a cookie tin and helped himself to some cookies. My normally calm and cool Dad lost his Sh!t. Neighbor kid went on to be very successful, his parents and my parents remained cordial, we continued to play together and are still on friendly terms although the neighbors sold and moved to assisted living about 2 years ago. Hopefully this will blow over. Idk if talking to the parents might help, or if you should stay out of it. I am pretty sure the neighbor kids parents made him come back an apologize. His Mom just would not have tolerated that at her house...but she was very good natured. No they already sat DH down on one of their couches and explained that Abby is the problem as far as they are concerned and don't want her playing with their kids for awhile. Which fine by me I don't want her playing with your kids either. She's turned into a totally different person since she started hanging out daily with the one kid. So not really interested in talking since they didn't bother to let DH talk or come talk to me about any of it. I went and got Abby's stuff that was at their various houses and that is it. DH said a couple weeks. I am thinking this will probably end up being permenant. Kids are fickle give them a couple weeks separation and then school will be starting. Abby will be in dance 2x a week. So they may become weekend friends but they likely would have eventually separated organically in a few weeks. I'm cool with it speeding up because I am not mentally in a place to deal with all their drama and be expected to share neighborhood parent duties. I am perfectly happy with just my two. I heard Kid A mouthing off in Kid B's house when I went to get Abby's toy she left behind. Yeah enjoy that you think it's my kid who has the mouth. My kid isn't the one that had a full blown tantrum in my yard then walked off on me when I was supposed to be watching her and refused to come back. I told DH probably some of it is my fault I probably look like a shit mom when that kid lied to me saying her mom texted her she was home and left to go back to her house. Then I got a text from her mom about them being there. But I'm not going to search another kid's phone for proof she's telling the truth. I was also not comfortable getting authoritarian with other peoples' kids though I was rapidly losing that hang up.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 13, 2022 13:31:27 GMT -5
I'm still figuring out what to have for breakfast. LOL.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jul 13, 2022 13:37:43 GMT -5
Trying to import photos from iPhone to my computer GAAH keeps stopping and need to start importing from beginning I hate computers right now!!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 13, 2022 13:39:26 GMT -5
I think after reading all of this, I am very glad I followed through on my instincts not to marry either of the two men I was in love with. And we never lived together. A different reason with each one, but it was the correct decision both times. I am with chiver on cleaning. My house would be so much cleaner if I didn't have two cats. So much cleaner. It's a constant chore. After being here 5 days, I realize now that I am correct that I could never have raised kids. I would rather be the auntie that is loved. The Toddler had a meltdown this morning when they got home. Tonight they went out for dinner to celebrate their wedding anniversary and he had another meltdown when they came home. The morning didn't last very long but the one this evening was over 3 hours. I could not do this every day. I don't know how they do it or any of you do it. DS never had a meltdown or temper tantrum...not once. He's on the autism spectrum and usually sat in a corner, hoping nobody would notice him. I would have given anything for him to have a temper tantrum like normal children. That's interesting. Most of the kids I know on the spectrum were prone to some serious freak out meltdowns.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 13, 2022 13:47:53 GMT -5
Once, when I was a kid my family was eating dinner. One of the neighbor kids walked in the front door, walked past my family eating dinner in the kitchen, opened a kitchen cabinet, pulled out a cookie tin and helped himself to some cookies. My normally calm and cool Dad lost his Sh!t. Neighbor kid went on to be very successful, his parents and my parents remained cordial, we continued to play together and are still on friendly terms although the neighbors sold and moved to assisted living about 2 years ago. Hopefully this will blow over. Idk if talking to the parents might help, or if you should stay out of it. I am pretty sure the neighbor kids parents made him come back an apologize. His Mom just would not have tolerated that at her house...but she was very good natured. No they already sat DH down on one of their couches and explained that Abby is the problem as far as they are concerned and don't want her playing with their kids for awhile. Which fine by me I don't want her playing with your kids either. She's turned into a totally different person since she started hanging out daily with the one kid. So not really interested in talking since they didn't bother to let DH talk or come talk to me about any of it. I went and got Abby's stuff that was at their various houses and that is it. DH said a couple weeks. I am thinking this will probably end up being permenant. Kids are fickle give them a couple weeks separation and then school will be starting. Abby will be in dance 2x a week. So they may become weekend friends but they likely would have eventually separated organically in a few weeks. I'm cool with it speeding up because I am not mentally in a place to deal with all their drama and be expected to share neighborhood parent duties. I am perfectly happy with just my two. I heard Kid A mouthing off in Kid B's house when I went to get Abby's toy she left behind. Yeah enjoy that you think it's my kid who has the mouth. My kid isn't the one that had a full blown tantrum in my yard then walked off on me when I was supposed to be watching her and refused to come back. I told DH probably some of it is my fault I probably look like a shit mom when that kid lied to me saying her mom texted her she was home and left to go back to her house. Then I got a text from her mom about them being there. But I'm not going to search another kid's phone for proof she's telling the truth. I was also not comfortable getting authoritarian with other peoples' kids though I was rapidly losing that hang up. This reminds of one of the most epic parental takedowns on FB that I have seen. The mother of a girl that DD is in school with posted something on FB about going all mamma bear and that some kids were being so mean to her little darling. I have seen her little darling be a raging bitch, and DD has been on the receiving end of it. DD dealt with it herself. A girl in HS (a few years older that DD and little darling) posted, "Well, maybe if "name" didn't body shame other kids, people might be nice to her. Yes, little darling is big on body shaming larger girls, including my DD. My DD has told her, "I might be fat, but you're a stupid bitch."
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 13, 2022 13:52:19 GMT -5
No they already sat DH down on one of their couches and explained that Abby is the problem as far as they are concerned and don't want her playing with their kids for awhile. Which fine by me I don't want her playing with your kids either. She's turned into a totally different person since she started hanging out daily with the one kid. So not really interested in talking since they didn't bother to let DH talk or come talk to me about any of it. I went and got Abby's stuff that was at their various houses and that is it. DH said a couple weeks. I am thinking this will probably end up being permenant. Kids are fickle give them a couple weeks separation and then school will be starting. Abby will be in dance 2x a week. So they may become weekend friends but they likely would have eventually separated organically in a few weeks. I'm cool with it speeding up because I am not mentally in a place to deal with all their drama and be expected to share neighborhood parent duties. I am perfectly happy with just my two. I heard Kid A mouthing off in Kid B's house when I went to get Abby's toy she left behind. Yeah enjoy that you think it's my kid who has the mouth. My kid isn't the one that had a full blown tantrum in my yard then walked off on me when I was supposed to be watching her and refused to come back. I told DH probably some of it is my fault I probably look like a shit mom when that kid lied to me saying her mom texted her she was home and left to go back to her house. Then I got a text from her mom about them being there. But I'm not going to search another kid's phone for proof she's telling the truth. I was also not comfortable getting authoritarian with other peoples' kids though I was rapidly losing that hang up. This reminds of one of the most epic parental takedowns on FB that I have seen. The mother of a girl that DD is in school with posted something on FB about going all mamma bear and that some kids were being so mean to her little darling. I have seen her little darling be a raging bitch, and DD has been on the receiving end of it. DD dealt with it herself. A girl in HS (a few years older that DD and little darling) posted, "Well, maybe if "name" didn't body shame other kids, people might be nice to her. Yes, little darling is big on body shaming larger girls, including my DD. My DD has told her, "I might be fat, but you're a stupid bitch." Yeah I was in the room for the latest of it they are blaming Abby for. Kid B was being a bitch to Kid A. Abby told Kid B that if she could not share with everyone then she wasn't welcome in Abby's bedroom anymore because we told her that her room is a no fighting zone. Kid B stormed off on me, I followed her saying get back in here I am supposed to be watching you for your mom. "Don't care I am going home!" Okay fuck it you little shit. Abby and her other friend went back to playing nicely in Abby's room. They all went over to Kid B's house and that is when they sprung the intervention on DH. They didn't even bother to ask the actual adult in the room about what happened. Whatever. I don't need that shit.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jul 13, 2022 13:59:59 GMT -5
Procrastinating. I returned a mail order package that didn’t work, called in my prescriptions and made sure we have money for the dog sitter on Thursday when I drop Harriet off.
I should start the paperwork for my Medigap plan and prescription plan, but have no interest. I have a rotisserie chicken I need to pick the meat off of for dinner tonight. I don’t want to get my hands messy. I need to clean the bathrooms….but I don’t wanna!
We leave early Friday am for Salmon Arm. Luckily, I made reservations 6 months ago, we’d never get a reservation now. I guess I should call my sister too, since I cut her off the other day.
Which of the things I don’t want to do do I do first? I used 3 ‘do’ in that sentence.
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azucena
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Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2022 14:35:02 GMT -5
Drama - you don't want Abby around that kid, but even more important, you likely don't want her around those parents.
I'm on a conference call. DD9 is flagging me from the doorway. I point to my headphones which is our sign that I'm on a call bc I can go several mins without talking. She keeps flagging. So I go on mute, turn off video and say you better be bleeding. You guys, she was, but only from a lost tooth, a giant molar that she had to show me...and she mostly interrupted to make sure she got tooth fairy cash. Good grief!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 13, 2022 14:38:03 GMT -5
All right found out Gwen got her Dtap and Menigitis shots last year so she's good to go. Either we forgot to update with the school or they lost them. Either way the doctor's office gave me a copy to give to them. She was due for her second HPV shot so we went ahead and did that. DH is going to take care of the dog sometime this week. I said just charge it and I will reimburse from savings. I always do that anyhow that way he can go any day of the week when it suits his schedule. I got the pet hotel booked it freaking doubled in price since last year. We don't trust FIL to be able to take care of her and she's scared of my dad. I don't think in three weeks we can get her acclimated enough for her to let him take her outside 2-3x a day. Plus that's a lot to put on my dad's plate right now. So we're sucking it up. I do like our vet as a vet but I was less than pleased when we used them for boarding. I've been happy with PetSmart no need to shake it up and tempt fate. I finally found a place to take Gwen for her birthday. Now I need to get a move on scheduling horse back riding for our vacation. Waiting till we are actually there doesn't work anymore, I may have already waited too long. We'll see. The kids will live if we don't go. Still depressed but at least I got a few things checked off my list. I feel a teeny tiny bit less overwhelmed.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,242
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 13, 2022 14:38:53 GMT -5
Drama - you don't want Abby around that kid, but even more important, you likely don't want her around those parents. I'm on a conference call. DD9 is flagging me from the doorway. I point to my headphones which is our sign that I'm on a call bc I can go several mins without talking. She keeps flagging. So I go on mute, turn off video and say you better be bleeding. You guys, she was, but only from a lost tooth, a giant molar that she had to show me...and she mostly interrupted to make sure she got tooth fairy cash. Good grief! I'd consider that an important interruption and you DID say she better be bleeding.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jul 13, 2022 14:48:05 GMT -5
DS never had a meltdown or temper tantrum...not once. He's on the autism spectrum and usually sat in a corner, hoping nobody would notice him. I would have given anything for him to have a temper tantrum like normal children. That's interesting. Most of the kids I know on the spectrum were prone to some serious freak out meltdowns. The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network recognizes meltdowns as a common externalized behavior, particularly among autistic children and adolescents. Although older autistic individuals may also experience meltdowns, not all autistic people have them.
psychcentral.com/autism/autism-meltdowns#what-is-it
The worst thing for him was drawing attention to himself. I once threw a Ninja Turtle birthday party for him, and couldn't find him. He was hiding in the closet.
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