what are you doing right now?

[raeoflyte]

I just wrote the most honest therapy intake questionnaire ever. Not that I've ever lied, but I used to be more....political. this was just normal angry me.

[taz157]

Earlier this week, I let side job #2 that I'm not going to continue this year.  My contact wasn't too surprised since I gave a head's up a couple of months ago.  I just need them to send me either a FedEx or UPS shipping label so that I can return their laptop.  It's just a heavy paperweight that does me no good because they did some modifications to it.

I worked on side job #1 for a bit after DD2 went to bed tonight.  My contact had an issue with a return he was working so, but I was able to get it straighten out for him.

I was browsing eBay for a LEGO set I had been wanting.  It's generally $250 and I found an Buy It Now for $200 with free shipping.  The box may be damaged, but I don't care.  I'm thinking of buying it...

Granted, my credit card bills really suck right now (because of Christmas) so I probably shouldn't...

[giramomma]

Jan 11, 2024 20:10:00 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Gira - it really sounds like someone somewhere is purposely sabotaging your efforts. I've seen it happen to people I know at all different levels of experience. It's always unexpected and it's usually pretty ugly. Do you know of someone who could pull off a professional sounding check of your Resume and References?

Honestly, I don't think so.

In my parts, you only provide references when you get a job offer.

No Job offer, no submitting references...

Besides my family, there are exactly two people that know I am actively looking for jobs. Not to make light of your suggestion...but I don't think my husband or older two kids are trying to sabatoge me in some way. That would entail them breaking into my personal email as well. Which, if my husband and children are doing that...well...there's problems with that.

There are 20K employees at my workplace. I highly doubt career services has the bandwidth to cyber stalk me somehow. There used to be 1 person in career services. For 20K. Now there are...3. Do you think they have time to invest in reaching out to HRs of all state agencies to try to follow me?

I suppose I could pay a resume service to review my resume. I'm getting interviews. So I don't think that is a need.

Again, I have a very niche set of skills in a very narrow area, with a long work history. 

I have applied for jobs where it was VERY clear folks didn't know what to ask for in candidates. 

Or they want someone with experience with the exact job experience. 

Or my interviewing skills are rusty. My in person interview last week was the first in person interview I had in 20 years. 

[giramomma]

Jan 11, 2024 19:58:20 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

giramomma they may also have felt that you wouldn’t be willing to take the pay cut/that they couldn’t pay you what you were worth.  As an employee of the state, is your salary perchance public record?

I’m sorry this has been such a frustrating slog.

Yup, my salary is public record. Though, I've never figured out where to look to get it.


I am actually surprised at how human human beings actually are.

[jerseygirl]

Pink if you can’t get heat fixed right away cause 3 day weekend, let a small amount of water run from all the faucets. This keeps the water running and helps prevent freezing.

[raeoflyte]

Jan 11, 2024 22:46:39 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Jan 11, 2024 20:10:00 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Gira - it really sounds like someone somewhere is purposely sabotaging your efforts. I've seen it happen to people I know at all different levels of experience. It's always unexpected and it's usually pretty ugly. Do you know of someone who could pull off a professional sounding check of your Resume and References?

Honestly, I don't think so.

In my parts, you only provide references when you get a job offer.

No Job offer, no submitting references...

Besides my family, there are exactly two people that know I am actively looking for jobs. Not to make light of your suggestion...but I don't think my husband or older two kids are trying to sabatoge me in some way. That would entail them breaking into my personal email as well. Which, if my husband and children are doing that...well...there's problems with that.

There are 20K employees at my workplace. I highly doubt career services has the bandwidth to cyber stalk me somehow. There used to be 1 person in career services. For 20K. Now there are...3. Do you think they have time to invest in reaching out to HRs of all state agencies to try to follow me?

I suppose I could pay a resume service to review my resume. I'm getting interviews. So I don't think that is a need.

Again, I have a very niche set of skills in a very narrow area, with a long work history. 

I have applied for jobs where it was VERY clear folks didn't know what to ask for in candidates. 

Or they want someone with experience with the exact job experience. 

Or my interviewing skills are rusty. My in person interview last week was the first in person interview I had in 20 years. 

Have you been doing all phone/video interviews?

[giramomma]

Jan 11, 2024 23:28:55 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Have you been doing all phone/video interviews?

Yup.

The weirdest "phone" interview I had is when I had a "phone" interview over zoom. We all had our cameras off to simulate a phone interview using, you know, a phone.

Why we didn't use a phone for the phone interview....no clue.

[andi9899]

The twins were almost out of food so I went to the store earlier. This girl that was about the same age as my kids stopped me. She said her brother and her are homeless and are trying to get enough money for a cheap hotel room. She offered to wash my windows on my car for the money. I don't carry cash usually, so I gave her the $6 that I had.

I felt so sorry for her. If I knew we wouldn't get robbed/killed I would have taken both of them home with me. I hope they're ok. We just got 5" of snow. We're supposed to get 3 more tomorrow. We're also going to get a cold snap with negative temperatures. I'll probably get some cash out of the ATM and see if I can find her tomorrow. I hope they're ok.

[Peace77]

Pink, 
If your house has any plumbing on any exterior  walls, buy some heat tape to wrap around the pipes.  It starts at $22 for a 6 foot section at Home Depot.   

Does your Mom have a crock pot?  She can fill it with water and put it on high for a little heat.

An oil filled space heater might be a good option until the HVAC can be fixed.  The cheaper space heater might not be safe if your Mom is keeping the house cluttered or hoarding.

[countrygirl2]

Never hurts to have another set of eyes look at it. They may have some new ideas.

[countrygirl2]

Those square wooden box like space heaters work well. I have one in the basement and it heats the whole basement and its pretty safe. I can even set stuff on top of it while running. I don't remember how much they are. Is the house well insulated? She can turn on stove burners too though not the best idea. I'm not
sure if her house is loaded down with stuff though making it unsafe.

[countrygirl2]

I just paid our routine bills. I have done well, other than the stove I bought, I have kept spending this month and last within parameters. I knew I couldn't treat, coming up here as a free for all and I haven't. We have eaten well, but I have cooked a lot of it. We can eat out once or twice but just have to watch it.

I still have my med deductible to meet and buy my scrips, that will really take it down, but that's what I saved it for.

[finnime]

Good morning, invisible founts of knowledge of Y Ma'am, providing advice and solutions. Welcome to Friday. I hope this day ends with problems eased and issues attended so that they no longer trouble you. And that you have warm, leakproof boots for any weather. And that your feet are generally well supported and stylish both. Plus you enjoy a fabulous dessert. That always helps.

We're going to get a heavy high wind rainstorm here tonight into tomorrow. Snow will wait until early next week.

I hope the heat problem at your house is trivial and cheaply solved, Pink Cashmere.

In going through all the supplies and stuff for photography I saw that I had quite a few unsold works from last year. We didn't get going until later in the year, for one. Plus not all venues support photography as a market. So, I'm going to add a page on my website that I'll call The Bin, for 2023's prints, most matted and many framed and ready to go for less cost than through my printing service. Will see how it works out.

This time last year my life looked totally different. I didn't think at the time that art plus writing would see me through.

Yesterday it took some time but the sun finally broke through the heavy band of clouds at the beach.

[giramomma]

I'm going to also add this, because I'm up.

The person in charge of the hiring didn't even come to my second, in person interview. I was so nervous I didn't think anything of it.

One of the people phrased the potential of a third interview sort of weirdly, with an "if" at an odd point in the conversation. I asked for clarification on the if. because they made it sound like maybe there could be a third interview as part of the process, and maybe it would just be two.

The person responded "well, if you get invited to a third interview. I have no control over that decision."

I've be part of the hiring process.  I've never had a situation where the person who I would be reporting to and would ultimately be responsible for hiring me didn't sit in on the interview.

I've never been on an interview where they didn't tell you want the interview process was. I didn't know there would be three interviews, until the end of the second interview.

(So, to further the sabatoge theory. someone in my workplace would have had to have spy software on my home computer AND my personal cell phone, to learn who could possibly be in charge of the hiring process, then take it upon themselves to call the person who was doing the hiring, and tell them to not come to my second interview and not to hire me. I just don't even see how that is plausible.)

And you if you don't have much experience hiring someone, stuff like this happens.  

I can tell you about three people that my workplace hired in the past two years that didn't work out. I knew they weren't going to work out because I know people. I brought concerns up to those in charge, and I was dismissed. 

Sure enough, these people didn't work out. They all quit for various reasons. Caused/causing a bunch of unnecessary work. 

Folks with minimal to no training on hiring don't make good hiring decisions. They don't have good hiring processes. And yes, people with minimal to no hiring experience are put in positions of power to hire others. Peter principal and all that.

Which goes back to my statement of humans are human.

[raeoflyte]

Gira - I agree it's not your resume or cover letter because you're getting calls. And you're getting past phone screenings.

I would think if there's anything on your side to work on - and thats if- it would be at the real interview stage. How are you talking about your current employer and why youre leaving kind of stuff. Explaining those big picture skills into real world scenarios they can see their team using.

Are you mostly applying for remote work? I was assuming these were mostly local jobs so all online interviews seems odd, but not if you'd primarily be remote.

And not in the case of sabotage but is your family really the only people who know you're looking? If so, can you start reaching out to former coworkers? You don't have to launch immediately in to please dear gawd help me get out of this hell hole! Call or email to check in on how they're doing and just listen. A lot of times ime the conversation circles back in a way that can be helpful. I think your mentors have retired but anyone who you didn't hate that just moved on.

Do you follow askamanager.org? I love her stuff but it's geared toward the private sector. Great resume, cover letter, and interview help. But she talks a lot about how bad most places/people are at hiring.

And always the grain of salt - I've never successfully left my field. And I stayed with employers way too long - but I did change jobs and make connections in those different positions.

You've put in so much effort. I don't like platitudes, and it is largely a #'s game. But can you take the weekend off from job hunting? Ideally even the 3 day weekend from work and decompress.

[andi9899]

Would anyone like a dog or two? I went to let the twins out just now. There was a cat outside that I didn't see. Macy saw it! She went sprinting after it and broke the clips on her collar chasing after it. So I got to chase after her half asleep at 7 am. She's free to a good home. Jackson's a bonus.

[daisylu]

I forgot about the 3 day weekend until I was looking at my work calendar yesterday. I also noticed that my next work holiday is memorial day. That is a long stretch. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Holy shit it snowed.   It's REAL snow out there people like I haven't seen in years.   I went to let the dogs out and it comes all the way up to Wilbur's sides.  He noped right out and came back in.  We'll have to shovel him a path in the backyard.

[chiver78]

Jan 12, 2024 8:44:49 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I forgot about the 3 day weekend until I was looking at my work calendar yesterday. I also noticed that my next work holiday is memorial day. That is a long stretch. 

same, and same. hopefully you can take some vacation time during that stretch. 

[cooper88]

I just need to make it through today, then it's a three day weekend with not much on the agenda. Today at work should be fairly low key, except IT is coming to our office. That may disrupt everything.

[finnime]

I made the mistake once of starting a new job just after New Year's with an employer that had very strict time off limits. I worked in IT in hospitals. HR rules were stern. There were no holidays until Memorial Day and taking time off for the first 90 days after hire was prohibited. Never again, I vowed.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Out of curiosity Gira does your university by chance have a policy like my workplace?   I am required to notify my manager and director I applied.  Even if I do not it turns out that an automatic email is sent out from HR notifying them I applied for another position.

Then the hiring manager talks to them .   That is where I feel I am being sabotaged.   The thing is I doubt my manager thinks she is sabotaging me.   She believes she is right and her views on my performance are based on logic and reason.

I said one of the questions we need to ask HR in our meeting is is there a way around that.  I'd be more than happy to provide other references including managers if they feel they need it.  Not everyone has a healthy supportive relationship with thier mangers.  I said it allows bias and sabotage to creep into teh hiring process without the employee even being away of it because it's all hush hush in the background.

And people talk.  I got ratted out at Nebraska Medicine and all I did was fill out the application!  Turns out I accidently applied for a hospital position that was listed as UNMC.   She is BFFs with the manager in the department I was in and called to tattle on me.   Boy was that fun.  I got the offer from my last company a few hours later, walked down to HR and quit on the spot.

Not saying that is what it is BUT it might be worth digging into the hiring process a little if you can.   

[minnesotapaintlady]

First time sitting at my basement desk since they cut off working from home and I discovered my master bath toilet must be leaking (from the stopper, not through the floor).  About every 10 or 15 minutes I would hear the water kick on for a couple seconds.  Turned the water off by the tank for now.  I can't hear it leaking or running at all from upstairs so that's weird.

[giramomma]

Jan 12, 2024 8:05:53 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Gira - I agree it's not your resume or cover letter because you're getting calls. And you're getting past phone screenings.

I would think if there's anything on your side to work on - and thats if- it would be at the real interview stage. How are you talking about your current employer and why youre leaving kind of stuff. Explaining those big picture skills into real world scenarios they can see their team using.

Are you mostly applying for remote work? I was assuming these were mostly local jobs so all online interviews seems odd, but not if you'd primarily be remote.

And not in the case of sabotage but is your family really the only people who know you're looking? If so, can you start reaching out to former coworkers? You don't have to launch immediately in to please dear gawd help me get out of this hell hole! Call or email to check in on how they're doing and just listen. A lot of times ime the conversation circles back in a way that can be helpful. I think your mentors have retired but anyone who you didn't hate that just moved on.

Do you follow askamanager.org? I love her stuff but it's geared toward the private sector. Great resume, cover letter, and interview help. But she talks a lot about how bad most places/people are at hiring.

And always the grain of salt - I've never successfully left my field. And I stayed with employers way too long - but I did change jobs and make connections in those different positions.

You've put in so much effort. I don't like platitudes, and it is largely a #'s game. But can you take the weekend off from job hunting? Ideally even the 3 day weekend from work and decompress.

Well, I've never been asked why you are leaving.  I've been asked why I want the job. And it matches what I put in my cover letter. I want this job because it allows me to grow with a,b,c skills. Or because I'm really excited about the work they do. Mostly it's the skills.

I've reached out to everyone who I can trust. Most everyone in our unit is a lifer. Which means not may people moved on. I was supposed to have a path, actually, until our top leader basically decided that we weren't going with the path that my old supevisor wanted. The one that my top leader approved for 2-3 years. Then, one day, the top leader woke up, literally, and said no. My options were to compete to to get the new supervisor job, or to stay were I was. I opted to not compete, because at the end of the day, I don't want a boss that breaks rules.  I don't want one that EVERYONE knows is not a good boss.  

I actually can't even talk to old mentors (that are alive) about how things are, because I'm afraid they will talk to the top leader, because they still come to our workplace.

I know you all are trying to be helpful, and I really do appreciate it.

I lump it into one of things that I just cannot control, despite my best efforts. It's like my marriage, it's like my cancer. It's like getting the missy. Or even getting my parents.

I think there are financial misdeeds going down. Last fiscal year, they were sort of just glossed over. If you had been paying attention, you'd notice. This fiscal year, there's more of an effort to hide the misdeeds. Other people that did that got fired by top leader . But because the top leader does like the person spearheading the misdeeds this time, we're all supposed to just ignore it, I guess.                      

So I do have to get out. I'm reconciling with the lines I have been fed, well-meaning, in my life, that I believed. In the same way that I had to reconcile that you can take care of your finances 99% perfectly, and financial disasters can come your way.  

No one ever told me if you took care of your shit and were responsible, that stuff still wouldn't work out. I was told, you will have a great life, a great house, a great job, a great marriage, and the perfect family. I was never told life was going to be this hard.

There's little surprise, now, that I should expect much different. And it's still a thing to work through.

I actually haven't been applying all that much. And now there's not as much to apply for.

The top leader may only be around for 18 months or so. My supervisor will no longer be controlled by the top leader at that point.

Things will have to change.

I will also say, I'm slightly encouraged with my supervisor. I don't like the approach. My supervisor's response would be like a teacher saying "Sally, I know you are seeing Jimmy bully a kid. Since the kid being bullied is in a different grade level, that's not *your* job to say anything. The kid whose getting picked on, their teacher will pick up on it, eventually, and take care of it."

There is more of an awareness of my work which wasn't there a while ago. 

[giramomma]

Jan 12, 2024 9:08:44 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Out of curiosity Gira does your university by chance have a policy like my workplace?   I am required to notify my manager and director I applied.  Even if I do not it turns out that an automatic email is sent out from HR notifying them I applied for another position.

Not that I know of.  And, my supervisor is a couple days to a week behind on email. I don't even know if it would register.

[lurkyloo]

Jan 11, 2024 22:29:54 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I just wrote the most honest therapy intake questionnaire ever. Not that I've ever lied, but I used to be more....political. this was just normal angry me.

Therapy is not the place to be diplomatic  

[lurkyloo]

Jan 11, 2024 22:36:36 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Earlier this week, I let side job #2 that I'm not going to continue this year.  My contact wasn't too surprised since I gave a head's up a couple of months ago.  I just need them to send me either a FedEx or UPS shipping label so that I can return their laptop.  It's just a heavy paperweight that does me no good because they did some modifications to it.

I worked on side job #1 for a bit after DD2 went to bed tonight.  My contact had an issue with a return he was working so, but I was able to get it straighten out for him.

I was browsing eBay for a LEGO set I had been wanting.  It's generally $250 and I found an Buy It Now for $200 with free shipping.  The box may be damaged, but I don't care.  I'm thinking of buying it...

Granted, my credit card bills really suck right now (because of Christmas) so I probably shouldn't...

We’re going to need specifics on the Lego set so we can live vicariously pass judgment appropriately 

[giramomma]

We're now supposed to get quite a lot less snow.

Almost half of what they were predicting. So, who knows.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jan 12, 2024 9:41:37 GMT -5 giramomma said:

We're now supposed to get quite a lot less snow.

Almost half of what they were predicting. So, who knows.

You can have some of ours.

[raeoflyte]

Jan 12, 2024 9:34:12 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Jan 12, 2024 8:05:53 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Gira - I agree it's not your resume or cover letter because you're getting calls. And you're getting past phone screenings.

I would think if there's anything on your side to work on - and thats if- it would be at the real interview stage. How are you talking about your current employer and why youre leaving kind of stuff. Explaining those big picture skills into real world scenarios they can see their team using.

Are you mostly applying for remote work? I was assuming these were mostly local jobs so all online interviews seems odd, but not if you'd primarily be remote.

And not in the case of sabotage but is your family really the only people who know you're looking? If so, can you start reaching out to former coworkers? You don't have to launch immediately in to please dear gawd help me get out of this hell hole! Call or email to check in on how they're doing and just listen. A lot of times ime the conversation circles back in a way that can be helpful. I think your mentors have retired but anyone who you didn't hate that just moved on.

Do you follow askamanager.org? I love her stuff but it's geared toward the private sector. Great resume, cover letter, and interview help. But she talks a lot about how bad most places/people are at hiring.

And always the grain of salt - I've never successfully left my field. And I stayed with employers way too long - but I did change jobs and make connections in those different positions.

You've put in so much effort. I don't like platitudes, and it is largely a #'s game. But can you take the weekend off from job hunting? Ideally even the 3 day weekend from work and decompress.

Well, I've never been asked why you are leaving.  I've been asked why I want the job. And it matches what I put in my cover letter. I want this job because it allows me to grow with a,b,c skills. Or because I'm really excited about the work they do. Mostly it's the skills.

I've reached out to everyone who I can trust. Most everyone in our unit is a lifer. Which means not may people moved on. I was supposed to have a path, actually, until our top leader basically decided that we weren't going with the path that my old supevisor wanted. The one that my top leader approved for 2-3 years. Then, one day, the top leader woke up, literally, and said no. My options were to compete to to get the new supervisor job, or to stay were I was. I opted to not compete, because at the end of the day, I don't want a boss that breaks rules.  I don't want one that EVERYONE knows is not a good boss.  

I actually can't even talk to old mentors (that are alive) about how things are, because I'm afraid they will talk to the top leader, because they still come to our workplace.

I know you all are trying to be helpful, and I really do appreciate it.

I lump it into one of things that I just cannot control, despite my best efforts. It's like my marriage, it's like my cancer. It's like getting the missy. Or even getting my parents.

I think there are financial misdeeds going down. Last fiscal year, they were sort of just glossed over. If you had been paying attention, you'd notice. This fiscal year, there's more of an effort to hide the misdeeds. Other people that did that got fired by top leader . But because the top leader does like the person spearheading the misdeeds this time, we're all supposed to just ignore it, I guess.                      

So I do have to get out. I'm reconciling with the lines I have been fed, well-meaning, in my life, that I believed. In the same way that I had to reconcile that you can take care of your finances 99% perfectly, and financial disasters can come your way.  

No one ever told me if you took care of your shit and were responsible, that stuff still wouldn't work out. I was told, you will have a great life, a great house, a great job, a great marriage, and the perfect family. I was never told life was going to be this hard.

There's little surprise, now, that I should expect much different. And it's still a thing to work through.

I actually haven't been applying all that much. And now there's not as much to apply for.

The top leader may only be around for 18 months or so. My supervisor will no longer be controlled by the top leader at that point.

Things will have to change.

I will also say, I'm slightly encouraged with my supervisor. I don't like the approach. My supervisor's response would be like a teacher saying "Sally, I know you are seeing Jimmy bully a kid. Since the kid being bullied is in a different grade level, that's not *your* job to say anything. The kid whose getting picked on, their teacher will pick up on it, eventually, and take care of it."

There is more of an awareness of my work which wasn't there a while ago. 

I think you should give yourself more credit for the effort you have put in. You can't control most of it, but what you can you have.

But absolutely, you can do everything right and still get shit for it.