what are you doing right now?

[countrygirl2]

Ken sorry for your loss.

[soupandstew]

Dec 19, 2023 16:00:55 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Dec 19, 2023 9:45:11 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Good Luck! 

(and it is nice to see you posting more here.)

Ok, I kept my temper because the B started whining and just annoyed everyone. Finally she got one person mad enough to tell her off. Then the dept head jumped in and said that we were all just “ communicating “ and that set everyone off. She was told off in no uncertain terms and told to stay on her lane. The department head was smart enough to keep her mouth shut then but this isn’t over because the B was boo hooing to the dept head because we were so “ mean.” Talk about middle school behavior but when the bully gets ganged up on, she’s the victim. I’m not resigning and she’s in for a rude surprise from now on. The board controls the purse strings and good luck getting anything from it.

I can't even begin to comprehend the level of non-professionalism required for the B's behavior whining to a dept head.  Totally middle school.  I'm glad you're standing your ground.  

I spent an hour on the phone today with our VP elect on the coming year - budget, committees, board development, goals, managing bad actors and such.

[jerseygirl]

Cable guy just put in new modem, internet and phones working again YAY
Plumber coming tomorrow to look at sump pump and hoping to find out what happened

[countrygirl2]

Like I have said before, what I did is move 1000 miles away, it sure made life less stressful with my inlaws.   Best thing we ever did. My stress level went down to as for years I only had to deal with DD which was enough.

[countrygirl2]

we just did a bit of shopping for things and I'm tired.

DIL wanted me to come down for dinner, but I'm so tired don't think I can, I put my jams back on and am about to go back to sleep. Guess I need a nap.

[chiver78]

Dec 19, 2023 17:36:41 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My momma is driving me fucking crazy! She called an ambulance this morning because she had bad diarrhea all night, and wondered if maybe she had COVID. SHE JUST RECEIVED COVID TESTS IN THE MAIL! That did not start my day off well, and I’ve been out of sorts ever since.

Now she wants me to come take her home. Mister’s sedan is in the shop, she can’t climb into the Tahoe or the Jeep and she barely fits in my coupe, that sits low to the ground, even on a good day. Wtf am I supposed to drive to go get her?! Plus, she STILL HAS FUCKING DIARRHEA and it’s a 40 minute drive to get her home. 

She does this shit all the time, gorges on food and starts shitting everywhere with diarrhea.

Now MY stomach is hurting. I’m about to cry.

nope, she can stay there for the night for observation. that's not even close to okay. 

[ners]

Sorry for your loss ken a.k.a OMK

[cooper88]

ken a.k.a OMK I'm so sorry for your loss.

[busymom]

Dec 19, 2023 17:36:41 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My momma is driving me fucking crazy! She called an ambulance this morning because she had bad diarrhea all night, and wondered if maybe she had COVID. SHE JUST RECEIVED COVID TESTS IN THE MAIL! That did not start my day off well, and I’ve been out of sorts ever since.

Now she wants me to come take her home. Mister’s sedan is in the shop, she can’t climb into the Tahoe or the Jeep and she barely fits in my coupe, that sits low to the ground, even on a good day. Wtf am I supposed to drive to go get her?! Plus, she STILL HAS FUCKING DIARRHEA and it’s a 40 minute drive to get her home. 

She does this shit all the time, gorges on food and starts shitting everywhere with diarrhea.

Now MY stomach is hurting. I’m about to cry.

   You're gonna have to break it to her that the only vehicle that she can get into is in the shop right now, so she'll need to call a taxi or get an Uber.  I've had a dog throw up all over my car, and the cleaning bill was awful.  I can only imagine what a human with the runs could do...  

[Peace77]

Dec 19, 2023 19:35:26 GMT -5 busymom said:

Dec 19, 2023 17:36:41 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My momma is driving me fucking crazy! She called an ambulance this morning because she had bad diarrhea all night, and wondered if maybe she had COVID. SHE JUST RECEIVED COVID TESTS IN THE MAIL! That did not start my day off well, and I’ve been out of sorts ever since.

Now she wants me to come take her home. Mister’s sedan is in the shop, she can’t climb into the Tahoe or the Jeep and she barely fits in my coupe, that sits low to the ground, even on a good day. Wtf am I supposed to drive to go get her?! Plus, she STILL HAS FUCKING DIARRHEA and it’s a 40 minute drive to get her home. 

She does this shit all the time, gorges on food and starts shitting everywhere with diarrhea.

Now MY stomach is hurting. I’m about to cry.

   You're gonna have to break it to her that the only vehicle that she can get into is in the shop right now, so she'll need to call a taxi or get an Uber.  I've had a dog throw up all over my car, and the cleaning bill was awful.  I can only imagine what a human with the runs could do...  

Uber will charge a huge cleaning fee if she leaves a mess.

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 19, 2023 18:49:32 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Dec 19, 2023 17:36:41 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My momma is driving me fucking crazy! She called an ambulance this morning because she had bad diarrhea all night, and wondered if maybe she had COVID. SHE JUST RECEIVED COVID TESTS IN THE MAIL! That did not start my day off well, and I’ve been out of sorts ever since.

Now she wants me to come take her home. Mister’s sedan is in the shop, she can’t climb into the Tahoe or the Jeep and she barely fits in my coupe, that sits low to the ground, even on a good day. Wtf am I supposed to drive to go get her?! Plus, she STILL HAS FUCKING DIARRHEA and it’s a 40 minute drive to get her home. 

She does this shit all the time, gorges on food and starts shitting everywhere with diarrhea.

Now MY stomach is hurting. I’m about to cry.

nope, she can stay there for the night for observation. that's not even close to okay. 

Yeah, except they parked her in the waiting room in a wheelchair. 

I went and got her in my car. They had to help her get in, and she had to get herself out. I wasn’t going to hurt myself trying to do it, like I’ve done before wrestling with her, trying to maneuver her, because she weighs over 150lbs more than I do.

My nerves are SO bad. I don’t know what comes after howling at the moon. Whatever it is, I’m there.

[soupandstew]

The wine dinner was wonderful.  DH even got duded up with his cufflinks and all and looked mighty good for an old man.  The food was remarkable, especially the venison.  I enjoy learning about the wineries and their vineyards even if I don't necessarily like the wines.  

[soupandstew]

There will not be a silent night here for Christmas or in the foreseeable future as DH has decided to go back to practicing his guitar 

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 19, 2023 21:32:00 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

There will not be a silent night here for Christmas or in the foreseeable future as DH has decided to go back to practicing his guitar 

LOL! I probably wouldn’t mind, as long as he was doing it during reasonable hours. Idc about Mister banging on his drums, and they are very LOUD, as long as it’s not late at night or early in the morning.

But you are not me, so I hope it doesn’t get on your nerves too much.

[TheOtherMe]

My dying friend called me to say goodbye.  I am shaken to my core from that phone call.

He's quite cheerful and wanting to say goodbye with people while he can.  His voice sounded strong, but I lost it when I hung up.

He is confident and happy that he has made his decision and it's what he wants.  His daughters tried to talk him out of it because it's Christmas.  He said he told them he can't change that and he can't keep living like the way it's been most of the year.  

It's just hard.  I knew it would be hard and I'm glad that I didn't cry on the phone.

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 19, 2023 21:32:00 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

There will not be a silent night here for Christmas or in the foreseeable future as DH has decided to go back to practicing his guitar 

If he’s as good as David Gilmour he can move in with me.    Oh, wait, can he cook too??

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 19, 2023 21:51:50 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

My dying friend called me to say goodbye.  I am shaken to my core from that phone call.

He's quite cheerful and wanting to say goodbye with people while he can.  His voice sounded strong, but I lost it when I hung up.

He is confident and happy that he has made his decision and it's what he wants.  His daughters tried to talk him out of it because it's Christmas.  He said he told them he can't change that and he can't keep living like the way it's been most of the year.  

It's just hard.  I knew it would be hard and I'm glad that I didn't cry on the phone.

That’s just sad beyond words.      Glad you got to talk to him. 

[notagain]

Theo. Big hugs and thinking of you.

[notagain]

Theo I'm glad your friend made the decision that HE wanted

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister just asked if he could share something with me. I said yes. He said he knows my folks drive me crazy, but try to just accept them for who they are. I held my hand up, meaning I didn’t want to talk about it, because I’ve been on the verge of tears for hours, and my eyes got watery when he said that. But then I  said, I could do that if they didn’t do BULLSHIT that we’ve already talked about a million times, and then call me wanting me to save the day when their dumb shit gets them in a bind. 

I understood where he was coming from, and I know that’s probably something he’s been trying to work through regarding his Dad. 

I’ve learned that it’s difficult to talk about problematic parents to people that have lost their parents. A lot of those people feel like because they would give anything and deal with whatever to have more time with their parents, that it’s selfish and wrong to not just be grateful your parent(s) are still alive and just deal with whatever they do, even if they are being selfish themselves and/or mistreating you. I understand that parents with dementia/Alzheimers/whatever, truly can’t help themselves, and I have a lot of grace for that. Not so much for personality disorders and other things that could’ve been treated starting years before they became senior citizens.

Mister’s Dad drove him crazy for a little over a year. My Mom has been driving me crazy for almost TEN years. It started about a year after my Grandmother passed, and it has gotten worse over the last 5 years, after she moved into my house. Not because her mental health has deteriorated so much, but because she’s tried to make me take the role my Grandmother use to play in her life, cleaning up my Mom’s mess, literally and figuratively…… and I am not my Grandmother. 

Mister knows all of that. I use to sob on his shoulder about how my Mom was treating me, and trying to use me, before she even moved into my house. 

I am almost certain that he wanted to share that with me because of what’s happened with his own parents, and he probably feels like he can relate some because of what ended up happening with his Dad. But there was something legit going on with his Dad’s brain, imaging tests showed that. We just never got a chance to learn how much of his behavior was due to that and how much was really who he’d been all along that Mister’s Mom had kept covered up, which she’d done an excellent job at.

But it’s not just Mister, a lot of people feel like you should just be grateful your parent is still on this earth and deal with whatever. I understand that, because parents ARE supposed to be very special. And I AM VERY grateful that my Mom is still in this earth, and I do love her, so, so much. But I love me too. So I feel like it’s okay for me to object to her trying to make me be responsible for her irresponsibility. 

She knew I was upset with her when I took her home. She said she was sorry for bothering me. I told her I just wish she’d take care of herself and stop causing herself AND ME problems that don’t have to be. She didn’t like that.

I don’t know how to get her to understand that she could freely have all the shit she tries to demand from me, if she would just try to take responsibility for herself. If she just really tried, even if she faltered, but kept trying, I would be by her side every step of the way. But I can’t do it like this. Not when she keeps trying to demand more of me than she is willing to try to do for herself. I’m just not built like that, even though sometimes I think my heart wouldn’t hurt so much, if I was. But my brain knows that I would’ve already lost what little I do have if I gave in to all of my Mom’s demands….. all of my money, and even my job.  Because she doesn’t stop until you stop her, that’s been proven over and over with other people and why she’s burnt all of her bridges. So what about me? What about my future senior citizen self? 

I apologize for ranting. It’s just that like I said earlier, my nerves are really bad this evening.

[Pink Cashmere]

(((TheOtherMe)))

I’m sorry.

[andi9899]

Dec 19, 2023 20:33:23 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Dec 19, 2023 18:49:32 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

nope, she can stay there for the night for observation. that's not even close to okay. 

Yeah, except they parked her in the waiting room in a wheelchair. 

I went and got her in my car. They had to help her get in, and she had to get herself out. I wasn’t going to hurt myself trying to do it, like I’ve done before wrestling with her, trying to maneuver her, because she weighs over 150lbs more than I do.

My nerves are SO bad. I don’t know what comes after howling at the moon. Whatever it is, I’m there.

Does she have a gait belt? A nurse once showed me how to use myself as a counter weight to lift my mom who weighs a lot more than I do. I could show you by video.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dec 19, 2023 22:53:00 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Dec 19, 2023 20:33:23 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Yeah, except they parked her in the waiting room in a wheelchair. 

I went and got her in my car. They had to help her get in, and she had to get herself out. I wasn’t going to hurt myself trying to do it, like I’ve done before wrestling with her, trying to maneuver her, because she weighs over 150lbs more than I do.

My nerves are SO bad. I don’t know what comes after howling at the moon. Whatever it is, I’m there.

Does she have a gait belt? A nurse once showed me how to use myself as a counter weight to lift my mom who weighs a lot more than I do. I could show you by video.

If you don’t have a gait belt, I have one I can send you.  They used these every time they got me out of bed and walking, so I’ve probably got 4 of these hanging around….if not more.

[CCL]

Dec 19, 2023 21:51:50 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

My dying friend called me to say goodbye.  I am shaken to my core from that phone call.

He's quite cheerful and wanting to say goodbye with people while he can.  His voice sounded strong, but I lost it when I hung up.

He is confident and happy that he has made his decision and it's what he wants.  His daughters tried to talk him out of it because it's Christmas.  He said he told them he can't change that and he can't keep living like the way it's been most of the year.  

It's just hard.  I knew it would be hard and I'm glad that I didn't cry on the phone.

[countrygirl2]

I don't know what is wrong with me the last few days. I'm normally pretty upbeat and at least somewhat happy. But right now I'm just kind of blah. I've been sleeping more than anything. Maybe its because hubs is not here, Or knowing he is not thrilled about moving or just we are old and nothing really to strive for anymore. I'm just kind of at a loss. Not having any family and knowing what our future will be. And worrying about DD too. I need to get out of this funk, could have to do with not feeling well I suppose. I have no reason not to be very happy. We don't need or want for anything, sometimes I'm not sure that is a good thing.  Don't seem to know what to do with myself. I need to have little guy come back over and stay but need to adjust my mood before he does. We even had some sunshine today. I hope this gray weather isn't affecting me, if so not the place for me. It likely has to do with both of us knowing we need to move but not thrilled about it. Who knows, I just need to get myself out of it is all. I just feel that hubbies prognosis may not be the best and I will be lost without him. He has always been there and strong, now I'm seeing him not as much. This is most likely my reason though I can't put my finger on it. Old age sure is not what its made up to be.

[andi9899]

So I was talking to my nephew over the weekend and he was telling me about an encounter he had recently. He was at Walmart or Target in a whiter part of town getting something for my cousin. He was sitting in his car getting ready to leave. Some old white man decided to tell him to go back to where he came from. He was getting ready to tell him to F off, but he saw the guy had a gun on him so he just drove away instead of saying anything. It's 2023 y'all. My nephew doesn't speak Spanish and has never been to Mexico. He is just big and brown in America.

He's lucky I wasn't there. I'm crazy enough to go out acting a fool to protect him.

I was just watching a movie on Netflix about civil rights which reminded me of this.

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 19, 2023 22:53:00 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Dec 19, 2023 20:33:23 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Yeah, except they parked her in the waiting room in a wheelchair. 

I went and got her in my car. They had to help her get in, and she had to get herself out. I wasn’t going to hurt myself trying to do it, like I’ve done before wrestling with her, trying to maneuver her, because she weighs over 150lbs more than I do.

My nerves are SO bad. I don’t know what comes after howling at the moon. Whatever it is, I’m there.

Does she have a gait belt? A nurse once showed me how to use myself as a counter weight to lift my mom who weighs a lot more than I do. I could show you by video.

No, I don’t even know what that is, even though reading your post, it seems like I’ve at least heard of it. I will Google it. Thank you!

I am not against any practical tools and tips, but none of those solve the bigger issues, that I have whined and bitched about since 2018. The only ones I will bitch about now…. when she moved to my house, it was supposed to just be temporary, for her to lose enough weight to have the hip replacement she needs, and put my Grandmother’s house back together to make it decent for her to live in.

They won’t do the surgery if she weighs over 250lbs, she got down to 304 a couple of months after living with me, then gained everything back that she’d lost, and some more. And instead of fixing my Grandmother’s house that my Mom had severely neglected….. the house that my Aunt did a quick deed to just give to my Mom after my Grandmother died…… against my Grandmother’s wishes in her will….. my Mom sold the house for $5k after she moved into my house. That is not a typo. And she didnt even tell my Aunt, before or after selling it. I told my Aunt when I found out what my Mom had done, and when she asked how I felt about her saying something to my Mom about it, I told her I had no problem with my Mom knowing I’d told my Aunt, and to say whatever she wanted. Because Im not with shady shit, and my Mom was WRONG for doing that behind my Aunt’s back. We all knew that my Grandmother wanted her 2 houses to stay in her family, that was very important to her. The other house was already gone, because my brother fucked it up, and this house was the house my Grandmother lived in my whole life. My whole family is STILL upset that my Mom sold my Grandmother’s house. For FIVE thousand dollars.

I went on a whole ‘nother rant. I apologize again.

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 19, 2023 23:05:37 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Dec 19, 2023 22:53:00 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Does she have a gait belt? A nurse once showed me how to use myself as a counter weight to lift my mom who weighs a lot more than I do. I could show you by video.

If you don’t have a gait belt, I have one I can send you.  They used these every time they got me out of bed and walking, so I’ve probably got 4 of these hanging around….if not more.

That is very kind of generous of you. 

I will research them tomorrow. If they don’t cost that much, I can just buy one. Either way, I love you even more for offering to send one.

[busymom]

TheOtherMe, I am so sorry.  I've lost too many friends, and I can just feel your pain.  


Go ahead & raid the chocolate, or whatever makes you feel better.  

[countrygirl2]

The doc I saw here told me to use my inhaler when needed, I realized about an hour ago I really needed it and of course could not find it. They would have prescribed me one, probably should have gotten it and the prednisone, but felt good enough I thought I didn't need it. Well, its a good thing I found it or would have been to the ER I think, it really opened up my bronchial tubes and whatever in there. Wow, what a difference.  

I don't understand my chest being clear with issues like that, it was sure getting tight in there. But now I'm ok.  But the docs say I get something called bronchial induced asthma when I get a cold or whatever this is. 

I have been able to vac the place, its small enough can do in 15 or 20 minutes. I had to stop earlier and not do it, but now only have the living room left. Now I can breathe again will do it. I have a gift or two for DD to wrap and one for son.  It sounds like dumb gifts but when I bought a heating pad today DIL was saying how she needed a new one and also sink strainers. Would that be dumb getting her something like those and wrapping them too? Her earrings I bought won't be here till the 26th or 27th, I do have a couple of other things under there for her, but didn't want to spend a lot more money and these won't be that much. But maybe too practical. I think she would like them though. I added to sons by buying him 2 boxes of Turtles candy, she said he loves it as do I.  This year doing simple things people need but won't buy. I also got her a shower head that takes chlorine out of the water like mine. Doesn't soften it only does that, but almost $100 each.  Little guy is the only one that got lots of toys.

I still have to find something for her sister and hubs as I know they will get us something. Thinking of one of those cheese boards, they entertain a lot and I don't think they have one. It would be one gift than.

We found DD a beautiful peacock that clips on, probably a foot long. It was $20, I got it to clip on her curtains in her bedroom, I know she will love that.

Apparently wrapping the ductwork in here sealed up the system. I don't know if had holes or anything in it but the place is staying very clean dustwise. We track a lot in but the furniture has sat here since last August and very little dust, so that's good. I hope to feel like mopping tomorrow. Again it won't take long. And one day I need to clean my shower, the tub is clean from yesterday.

It's like I start feeling better than I feel bad again, kind of cycling back and forth, will take all the meds and hope that does it.