what are you doing right now?

[finnime]

Yeah! I'm posting on pg. 1800!

Sign me up for the Meet Pink series, anywhere. If you do get to Mass. I'm here, too.

If you wind up in the DMV, lurkyloo lives in a good place to see you and I believe daisylu lives in Nova. And wvugurl26 lives west of lurkyloo as far as I know.

[finnime]

Rats. I missed page 1800. But my heart was pure!

[finnime]

Wishing you well in your howling at the moon pursuits, Pink Cashmere. And you, too, toomuchreality, as you make your way to your own home.

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 10, 2023 17:38:53 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Something weird is going on in FL, that has to do with me being sick, at DD2's. (They're not being honest about what it is) Suddenly there seems to be a lot of interest in how sick I am. I get the feeling that it's her husband's family, or her dad bringing up questions. Because they all have to come here, to pick up their cars etc, to go home. I think they don't want to catch anything. It's not out of concern about me.
Typical.
I'm going to try to leave soon.
I don't need this crap.

F’ em is all I got. 

[jerseygirl]

Oh my stomach hurts I ate so much yesterday. Just had a little dinner now and way too full
Went over to friends house who invited about 10 folks from company where we all worked. Company was bought out and pharma is like a merry go round here in NJ. A number of us have worked at same companies but not same time after the ‘common’ company we’re all ‘from’
Anyway friend is from Philippines and she gave me some frozen lumpia to bring home. Yum!!
There were about a dozen deserts and had some of all.

[ners]

Since I am off tomorrow, I am partaking of adult beverages.   

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 10, 2023 17:18:30 GMT -5 Opti said:

Also to remind Pink and everyone, I have been underfunded so long that my regular doctor was the doctor at the clinic who is at least 73 years old. I have not had a regular doctor or dentist in a very long time. I still owe my PCP things like the mammogram and the human fecal to check for colon cancer. I have not completed my intake paperwork yet with him. He works just a couple days a week as he is over 65 years old and frankly could retire if he wanted to.

The doctor who did my doctor's note I hope to make my secondary doctor if things work out. Also I got my first teeth cleaning since I think 2017 or so. I have to get one tooth extracted and its higher on the list than the FMLA paperwork which was done in spring by my PCP. I don't have any guaranteed car rides to anywhere. It's a lot of luck and praying and sometimes it pans out. The dentist and my partial grocery shops are done on the bus line. It's a very long exhausting day even when things go right. I do not have the right outwear or anything for late fall into winter waiting at bus stops. 

The doctor is not on the NJ Transit bus line. I need to sign up for the County Bus to get that kind of service. It will be $2 one way versus .75, and that is a big deal for my current rate of pay, rent, etc. And I wanted to work on 2022 taxes which I will need to apply for help with my heating bill. 

Please don’t think that I am beating up on you while I am being persistent with what I am sayin, I am genuinely just trying to be helpful. 

All of what I am about to say is just my opinion, and worth exactly what you paid for it.

Your first order of business needs to be finding a PCP that is accessible to you with your current transportation issues, and that you can establish a good rapport with. I understand that that is often not as easy as it sounds, but you need to do it anyway. It is imperative, for your quality of life, and your working life.

Once you find a good PCP, once you show that you make good faith efforts and follow their recommendations to try to resolve your health issues, there shouldn’t be an issue having them give you the paperwork needed to document with your job that you have a chronic health issue, re your sinus issues, that means that sometimes you are unable to work due to that chronic condition. Some people think that sinus issues can’t possibly be that bad, but I know for myself that they can, and my retired PCP also understood that, so you need to find a PCP that understands that too. 

Once you find a good PCP, whatever other doctors you see, for sinus issues when you can’t get a timely appointment with your PCP, or for whatever else you go to a doctor for, give them permission to forward the records of those visits to your PCP. In my experience, when I had a good PCP, she was the main person in charge of my health and she looked over everything other providers sent her when I went to them, to try to figure out how best to proceed to take care of me and my health.

I know it’s a lot, I’ve been there and done that, and I’m still doing it, and basically starting over myself because my PCP retired at the end of 2021 and I am less than impressed with my new PCP.

I cooperated with everything my PCP suggested, and went to all the specialists she suggested for all of my various issues, and had all, of the records sent to her. That may be why she was so willing to work with me as far as being willing to give me the documentation I needed for FMLA, idk. 

I promise I’m not trying to be hard on you, I am just trying to help you protect your job. 

[chiver78]

Dec 10, 2023 18:16:00 GMT -5 ners said:

Since I am off tomorrow, I am partaking of adult beverages.   

I'm not offf tomorrow, and I am as well. <clink> you've had a particularly rough stretch, though. I hope this takes an edge off for you, and you can relax tonight and fully enjoy tomorrow. I don't often comment when you post your coffee in the am bc I don't see it til a few hours later. <hugs>

[toomuchreality]

This has turned REALLY UGLY now.

I mean, she's not even pretending to be nice anymore.

It's just UGLY and hurtful comments, mixed with how concerned she has been, but how I expected too much, because I asked her to send 1 photo of her girls. She's taking back her concern for me. And I'm just horrible, like always. "What did I expect her to do, while she was on a ship, out of the country?!"

I quit responding at that point.

Oh, wait! It just got better!
Now she very nicely told me, it doesn't look like they'll make their flight home. Have I already left, to go home?

She has Ring doorbell and gets notified every time a door opens. She has to know I'm still here.

Unfortunately for them, I'm still going home. Unbelievable!

[toomuchreality]

I'm leaving, without responding. I can't think of anything to say, after what she said.

[soupandstew]

Hoping for a good night's sleep as tomorrow is fairly busy starting with breakfast prep, a grocery run, more cleaning, and a night board meeting which will to 8:30 or later and should be.....interesting 

[busymom]

Wow, toomuchreality.  That's just sad.  I'd just tell her at some point that your house-sitting days are over.  

[toomuchreality]

My mistake
It was DD1 asking if I already went home, cause they might not make it home tonight.

DD2 is still being a witch.

I'm out of here.

[toomuchreality]

Dec 10, 2023 18:34:46 GMT -5 busymom said:

Wow, toomuchreality.  That's just sad.  I'd just tell her at some point that your house-sitting days are over.  

For sure.

[minnesotapaintlady]

At my first of 3 Carrot concerts this week.

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 10, 2023 18:36:29 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Dec 10, 2023 18:34:46 GMT -5 busymom said:

Wow, toomuchreality .  That's just sad.  I'd just tell her at some point that your house-sitting days are over.  

For sure.

Tell ‘em you can’t house sit any more as their house is contagious or contaminated and caused you to become ill. Not that you owe them a reason but this popped into my addled gray matter. But I’m really not nice so I’d go with ~ never mind I have to remember you are dealing with blood relatives. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Dec 10, 2023 17:24:03 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Dec 10, 2023 10:38:54 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

You've done so much for them. I would think your dd2 would want time with just her family sometimes too, but it sounds like her husband can be an ogre (if I'm remembering right) and we all make our choices. I think the mani/pedi just the 3 of you sounds best. And hopefully you get in some time with dd1 too.

She and DH always have each other's backs.
Years ago, I invited DD1 and DD2 over to my apt, to carve /decorate pumpkins. We had done this for years. They both said, yes. The next thing I knew, DD2 had invited his whole family to join us, without talking to me about it first. And it was no longer being held at my place (which would have been too small, for that many people). It was being held at his mom's condo!
I was hurt and angry, so I didn't go.
DD2 and I had a private conversation at my place, later. She couldn't believe I was upset.
She told me flat out, that in the future, I should know, she was now part of his family too and anytime I invite her, that includes his family too. Always.

I have never invited her to do anything again.

We have talked once, or twice about how they go visit his mom, his dad and her dad. But they don't visit me, which makes me feel bad. She said, it's because you never invite us. At the time, I felt very judged about my place being good enough to invite them over. I still do. But I have since realized, it's because she made the comment about his family being invited too.
I don't think I will ever invite them over again.
My apt is 400 sq ft. There is barely room for DD, H and 2 little girls to visit.

Although on Thanksgiving, this year, they did come, with his mother, to drop off a TV. And DD2 finished baking food she was taking to her dad's, for dinner, while her H hooked up the tv.

She did just tell me, I can spend the night tonight, because I haven't felt well enough to even get dressed yet. Much less get my stuff in my car and drive home.

However, I just got a strange text from her, so I'm going to try and get home, rather than stay.

I have many thoughts about all of this, but I will try to be mindful with my words because I don’t want to offend you. 

First of all, if I want to spend time with my children and grandchildren, if it was a holiday, I would include Mister’s children if it mattered to them, but everybody else can kick rocks in flip flops. Meaning that just because I include his children, does not mean that it is necessary for me to include his whole family. Because I’m not doing all that unless i want to, and that is my plan.

Mister and I have a “blended” family, and even though it’s has been problematic at times, I still feel like it’s important for him to have time with his children without me, and it’s never been an issue with me having time with my children and grandchildren without him or his family having to be involved. 

Before we got some shit straight, my daughter tried to use my grandchildren as a weapon…… if I didn’t go along with her shit, I wouldn’t get to see my Grandbabies. I finally got to the point that as much as I loved my Grandbabies, I still had to be firm with my boundaries with my daughter, and she couldn’t hold me hostage to do her bidding with the threat of keeping them from me. It wasn’t a threat I made, just something I finally wrapped my mind around and resigned myself to, as painful as it was. And it was very, very, painful, trying to accept that my daughter would keep my Grandbabies from me, just because I refused to jump when she said jump, and setting my boundaries anyway.

I am not in any way trying to tell you what you should do. I am just sharing my own experience with my child and my grandchildren. 

[notagain]

Tmr I wish you were closer to me. Hugs girl

[soupandstew]

The last few days/weeks/months reading about the job struggles so many here face really made me think back to my working years.  Overall, I think there are more legal safeguards in place now than in the past, although I suspect some protections are still limited by state and by number of employees.  During my time, 50 employees seemed to be the magic number where any regulations to protect employees kicked in.  As I always worked for companies with less than 50 employees, I was always screwed.  I was always called a "salaried" employee even though my title was job receptionist, accounting clerk, administrative assistant, etc.  That meant no overtime even though I frequently worked from 7 am to midnight or even later during peak periods and on weekends.  There was also the "Christmas bonus" scam where every employee had to contribute $1,000 up front to the owner's chosen political candidate in order to get an offsetting "Christmas bonus" months later.  Even jury duty was off limits.  The company would let you answer the original jury duty summons but there was a clear order to make sure you were disqualified for jury service or you had to take vacation time for those days.  In hindsight, it sucked but we all needed a paycheck so we lived with it.  I'm glad there's stuff now to help prevent some of the abuses.

[Opti]

Dec 10, 2023 18:26:06 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Dec 10, 2023 17:18:30 GMT -5 Opti said:

Also to remind Pink and everyone, I have been underfunded so long that my regular doctor was the doctor at the clinic who is at least 73 years old. I have not had a regular doctor or dentist in a very long time. I still owe my PCP things like the mammogram and the human fecal to check for colon cancer. I have not completed my intake paperwork yet with him. He works just a couple days a week as he is over 65 years old and frankly could retire if he wanted to.

The doctor who did my doctor's note I hope to make my secondary doctor if things work out. Also I got my first teeth cleaning since I think 2017 or so. I have to get one tooth extracted and its higher on the list than the FMLA paperwork which was done in spring by my PCP. I don't have any guaranteed car rides to anywhere. It's a lot of luck and praying and sometimes it pans out. The dentist and my partial grocery shops are done on the bus line. It's a very long exhausting day even when things go right. I do not have the right outwear or anything for late fall into winter waiting at bus stops. 

The doctor is not on the NJ Transit bus line. I need to sign up for the County Bus to get that kind of service. It will be $2 one way versus .75, and that is a big deal for my current rate of pay, rent, etc. And I wanted to work on 2022 taxes which I will need to apply for help with my heating bill. 

Please don’t think that I am beating up on you while I am being persistent with what I am sayin, I am genuinely just trying to be helpful. 

All of what I am about to say is just my opinion, and worth exactly what you paid for it.

Your first order of business needs to be finding a PCP that is accessible to you with your current transportation issues, and that you can establish a good rapport with. I understand that that is often not as easy as it sounds, but you need to do it anyway. It is imperative, for your quality of life, and your working life.

Once you find a good PCP, once you show that you make good faith efforts and follow their recommendations to try to resolve your health issues, there shouldn’t be an issue having them give you the paperwork needed to document with your job that you have a chronic health issue, re your sinus issues, that means that sometimes you are unable to work due to that chronic condition. Some people think that sinus issues can’t possibly be that bad, but I know for myself that they can, and my retired PCP also understood that, so you need to find a PCP that understands that too. 

Once you find a good PCP, whatever other doctors you see, for sinus issues when you can’t get a timely appointment with your PCP, or for whatever else you go to a doctor for, give them permission to forward the records of those visits to your PCP. In my experience, when I had a good PCP, she was the main person in charge of my health and she looked over everything other providers sent her when I went to them, to try to figure out how best to proceed to take care of me and my health.

I know it’s a lot, I’ve been there and done that, and I’m still doing it, and basically starting over myself because my PCP retired at the end of 2021 and I am less than impressed with my new PCP.

I cooperated with everything my PCP suggested, and went to all the specialists she suggested for all of my various issues, and had all, of the records sent to her. That may be why she was so willing to work with me as far as being willing to give me the documentation I needed for FMLA, idk. 

I promise I’m not trying to be hard on you, I am just trying to help you protect your job. 

I'm good with my decision on the PCP. The bus stuff is temporary. The PCP and the office is not. I first saw him in that building over thirty years ago. He's in a spot that did not even exist back then. 

I am calling the practice he is in as the health conglomerate as they are pretty much all over the state of NJ it turns out. I can cure the temp transport issue for getting hooked up with the County bus. I already started the prelimary process on that in the Spring. Plus I can get more church peeps to help out too. Our office person will be back on Monday and maybe the minister will even be in.

I will take your FMLA advice and read it in the near future. I had already booked my PCP for an appointment in January. And I do appreciate your assistance on trying to help save my job. I think this time the key might be going above my boss and interacting with the President of our side of the merge. I think he gets me more than she does. 

[empress of self-improvement]

Is it bad that I'm swigging cough syrup like an adult beverage? Well, I'm alternating between that and honey. Neither of them are doing shit at making my cough stop. My chest, back, head and now my goddamn teeth hurt. This is absurd. Colds suck.

TMR, if you would like to adopt caring children, I'm available. I live nowhere near you but I can call and check on you without being a prissy bitch.

[NastyWoman]

Dec 10, 2023 17:07:34 GMT -5 Opti said:

Dec 10, 2023 15:52:33 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

. 

....
Found a Opti type vehicle which G may talk me out of. Neighbor in the next building with a Blue nose named M, told me about a county website where rich folks sell their vehicles. One was a gorgeous Audi SUV. Looked it up, that particular car I wouldn't want because it's the premium 3.2 version. But the 2.0 4-inline version would have slightly better mileage than my old BMW, be in the right size class and be less old than the 2009 CRV. Audi Q5 2012 with fewer miles than the 2009 CRVs. Would probably not make 300,000 but do OK if I drive in the middle of its capabilities and hopefully last a few years or more with me if OK'd by the garage.

Feels like a good choice too as in the Kelly Blue Book description it places if between the BMW X3 and the Lexus RX of that time.
For the 2.0, price range from private seller roughly between 6000 and 8999.

Forget about "Opti type vehicle" for now. I know cars are important to you but at this time it is important to focus on the primary function of a car: getting you from point A to point B and back again. Not only are luxury cars expensive to buy, they are expensive in maintenance. A small Honda, Toyota, or even a Nissan Versa. I know you don't like the Versa but let me tell you one of those got me everywhere for over 11 years with hardly any maintenance cost and chances are I would still have that car if someone hadn't sandwiched me by not realizing that if all traffic stops you have to do so as well. Anyway, not glitzy, not as comfy as a BMW, but perfectly servicable and that is what you need right now. In a few years you may be in a place where you can buy what you want but for now you must focus on the minimum you need. 

[andi9899]

Dec 10, 2023 15:57:20 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

Pink knows she's going to Boston. She's got 2 places to crash up here and whichever she choose, the other will show up.

I'll go too. I actually think y'all might be my summer getaway. It's so much cooler there than it is here in the summer!

[Artemis Windsong]

I'm riding the glow of two wins yesterday at the social tournament.  I had two great partners.

[andi9899]

Dec 10, 2023 17:01:51 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Dec 10, 2023 16:29:39 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I think Pink Cashmere knows she has a lot of places where she can crash if she chooses to do so. Now if she waits more than 3 years before coming to visit me she needs to remember to fly east instead of west -> destination Munich   but anytime, anywhere...

Thanks for giving me a timeframe to visit you before I’d have to fly overseas. Not That I won’t venture to Munich too.

Seriously though, unless Mister was talking out of his ass or I decide by then that I’m not willing to travel with him, there’s a chance that I will be in what I think is called the DMV area (please feel free to correct me if I got that wrong lol) in February. He wants to visit relatives in Virginia and Maryland. I can’t go that way without visiting an IRL friend that lives in Fredericksburg, Virginia, where one of Mister’s relatives that he wants to visit, also happens to live. I know that a lot of places in that part of the country are fairly close together, but I’d have to look at a map to make it all make sense to me. People that live in the area, know better than me, what’s feasible or not. I ASSume the Maryland part of the potential trip is not far from the Virginia part, but idk exactly in Maryland his relative lives. 

Idk who all here lives within a reasonable distance, but if I do end up going, I would be happy to meet my online friends while I’m there. And I want to be clear that that trip depends on Mister.

I will also be in San Antonio next fall. I seem to recall that at least one person here lives in San Antonio, but I’m not sure who, or even I that I’m not mistaken in thinking that. I will be there for my side gig, and the schedule is always pretty tight, with only one evening not accounted for, but I can figure it out to meet a friend, even if I have to go early or stay an extra day. That trip has nothing to do with Mister, and will happen with or without him.

Anyway, I do have lots of places in the US that I’d like to visit, and being able to meet some of my friends here is an incentive, and would be a huge bonus.

And because I’d also like to travel the world, knowing I’d have a friend in Munich in a few years, and one in France today, to help guide me, is awesome!

I'd meet you there. I'm actually willing to fly just about anywhere in the US. If I got off my ass and got a passport one day I'd add other countries as well.

[TheOtherMe]

Dec 10, 2023 18:31:13 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

I'm leaving, without responding. I can't think of anything to say, after what she said.

I'm sorry.  I hope you have left by now and are close to your own place and your own bed.

[andi9899]

Dec 10, 2023 18:26:17 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Dec 10, 2023 18:16:00 GMT -5 ners said:

Since I am off tomorrow, I am partaking of adult beverages.   

I'm not offf tomorrow, and I am as well. <clink> you've had a particularly rough stretch, though. I hope this takes an edge off for you, and you can relax tonight and fully enjoy tomorrow. I don't often comment when you post your coffee in the am bc I don't see it til a few hours later. <hugs>

Same. More than anything I'm drowning my sorrows because the Chiefs lost. AGAIN! I knew it would happen with Pacheco out. Bet you can't guess my fave player.

[chiver78]

Dec 10, 2023 20:53:17 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Dec 10, 2023 15:57:20 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

Pink knows she's going to Boston. She's got 2 places to crash up here and whichever she choose, the other will show up.

I'll go too. I actually think y'all might be my summer getaway. It's so much cooler there than it is here in the summer!

just for full disclosure- the Cape is cooler in the summer than downtown or inland. how far off from home was it when you were here?

[chiver78]

Dec 10, 2023 21:04:06 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Dec 10, 2023 18:26:17 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'm not offf tomorrow, and I am as well. <clink> you've had a particularly rough stretch, though. I hope this takes an edge off for you, and you can relax tonight and fully enjoy tomorrow. I don't often comment when you post your coffee in the am bc I don't see it til a few hours later. <hugs>

Same. More than anything I'm drowning my sorrows because the Chiefs lost. AGAIN! I knew it would happen with Pacheco out. Bet you can't guess my fave player.

Kelce? bc I might have to stop talking to you if you said Mahomes. I'll also admit to not knowing. the names of any other players on the roster.

[Cookies Galore]

Not off tomorrow but I polished off the bottle of wine I opened yesterday. It was a late afternoon shower wine kind of day, with all the baking and laundry. Eagles look like shit so I probably won't stay up for the whole game and I only have three working days left this week for the year, so I think I may sleep well tonight. Logging off work Wednesday and heading to Boston, MA Conference for Women Thursday, fly home and into year-end vacation mode Friday!