what are you doing right now?

[soupandstew]

Pink Cashmere  I wish I had magic words to help you heal, both as an individual and as part of a couple.  But I don't.  In what you have shared here, I have seen a lot of strength and power in you and Mister, both separately and together. I've seen stories of wisdom and compassion and respect.  Yet I also recognize that moments come when the well is dry and it's difficult if not impossible to see the possibility of it being full again.  

You are in my prayers.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 9, 2023 21:56:08 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Pink Cashmere   I wish I had magic words to help you heal, both as an individual and as part of a couple.  But I don't.  In what you have shared here, I have seen a lot of strength and power in you and Mister, both separately and together. I've seen stories of wisdom and compassion and respect.  Yet I also recognize that moments come when the well is dry and it's difficult if not impossible to see the possibility of it being full again.  

You are in my prayers.

Thank you.

[soupandstew]

I worked on the book edit for a bit today; it's both easier and harder than I expected.  Some chapters will need nothing from me while others need substantial work, mostly for coherency and flow of story.  I think the toughest part will be when I have to choose which version of an event or situation to use.  The parts where I have multiple options to select from are some of the most significant, intimate and painful times in his life so the burden of choice weighs heavily on me.  We've talked at length over the past year about finding a good balance between honesty and causing pain to others so that scale is in my hands at the moment.  

[countrygirl2]

I don't know what has gotten into me the last few days. I vacced all the house the other day and was than going to mop. Well, duh, the bucket is sitting by the waste basket and has been the last few days, I haven't touched it yet. I am keeping the laundry up but what a chore that is. And I'm doing some kind of meals. Tonight I fixed spaghetti for hubs and DD. For me I nuked a package of green beans and added almonds and some butter. I'm really trying to eat lightly and not overload my tummy. And I'm getting worried if we can't get ozempic. If I gain the weight back I can't walk and if DD does she will end up a full blown diabetic, so its very important to us.

And I have not picked up and continued working on my books or paid things. And I need to get busy as we are leaving Dec 7th for a month and nothing will get done.

 finnime, I will mail your check in the morning. Apparently I didn't get it right second time around on the copies. It's like everything else lately should have been done a week ago, all I have to do is walk across to my desk. I find myself sitting here most of the day doing crossword puzzles and the day slipping away. We did get grandson some toys this morning. I have a bunch of trash in bags in the garage and need to get those out too. Again no reason not to, just haven't done it.

It's just like I have lost all forward momentum, and not happy with me right now.

Maybe when I go get my massage tomorrow it will be better. 

I think it revolves around hubs, I feel like we are in a stand still and waiting mode. I just feel stuck and can't move forward or anything. He gets blood work again next week to see if his PSA is 0. If not, oh dear, hormone therapy and radiation. I hope the surgeon did indeed get it all. But in reading the report seemed pretty invasive to me. So than we are not sure if we can go up and do Christmas yet. Like he said if he has to have treatments he can't. Than I will have to be here as I imagine I will have to drive him back and forth.
It's not that I mind, I just feel lost and in limbo. And on top of that the last few days the neuropathy in my feet seems to either be acting up or getting worse. By nighttime my toes feel strange. When I try to clinch them they feel kind of numb or disembodied. I may have to go to the podiatrist and have them checked out, its just the oddest feeling when they get like this. Just been happening the last couple of weeks or so, I suppose its just progressing.

But I am worried about hubs. And that's likely my underlying issue. I watch things happening to him and it bothers me. He is a modest, good man and what he is dealing with now, I'm hurting for him.

I think for the time being we just need to not do anything and I need to be quiet about it. If cancer is still there, likely we will just stay where we are, I haven't told him that, but I'm thinking we may need to do that. But even if it isn't, it will be constant checking for the next 2 years for sure and actually from now on. I knew it was going to change our life, easy to say that but harder to live with it. Don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself, I am not. But its like everytime I start living again, something happens. DD I have always had, than ready to travel and it was mom. Then DD and I were doing a lot and than his mom and these "interruptions" were 10 years long. Here we go again and I don't have too many 10 years segments left. I have a lot I want and need to do yet, but like I'm standing in quicksand.  And I may have to end up being the strong one and can I do it?    

[toomuchreality]

Nov 9, 2023 7:57:57 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'm up, about to dial in for a working meeting with a guy that's new to writing deviations. my inbox isn't nearly as much of a mess as I'd expected after a random day off, so that's a plus. Punk is already pouting at me for being on a screen, but there isn't much I can do about it now. anyway - one of the new messages from yesterday is a reminder to complete my Annual Enrollment before the 15th. so the burning question I have this morning - do I buy an extra week of vacation again next year? I have a feeling I will get really used to having random days off by the end of the year... 

Yes!

[countrygirl2]

Night All, I'm bet an need to go to bed. Hope tomorrow is better for all of us.

[msventoux]

Listening to snowplows go by. The second day of snow and over a foot of accumulation so far. So grateful I’m now working part-time from home and don’t have to worry about trying to deal with the mess tonight or early in the morning to make it to an office job. Also grateful that the power only went out for a few minutes last night…glad there are people willing to be snowplow operators and linemen so the rest of us can stay inside, comfy and warm, and are able to travel on reasonably well-maintained roads if forced to go out. 

[toomuchreality]

Nov 9, 2023 16:16:22 GMT -5 pulmonarymd said:

We routinely see patients admitted to the hospital who test positive for RSV. It can be a serious illness, especially for those with underlying heart and lung issues. It can also cause serious illness in infants. Like all vaccinations it is generally safe. It can prevent illness and hospitalizations, and also help prevent passing it on to infants. All in all, I think it is a good idea to be vaccinated if you are in a high risk group.

For comparison, the shingles vaccine has been available for some time now. Few people with shingles need admission, and death is rare. Yet it is a miserable illness, and vaccination is recommended. RSV can kill people and cause hospitalization. If you get vaccinated for shingles, why wouldn't you get aN RSV vaccination

Thanks for the info and input.

[finnime]

Good morning, warrior invisipeeps, confronting the challenges of your lives. I hope your Friday offers some easing of your burdens and some moments of pure levity. And dessert, can't forget dessert.

Today I'll be seeing chiver78! That's good news indeed. We'll get coffee at a local coffee house run by a musician who decorated the Nook with mementos and posters from rock, and old video game sets that you can play with while you wait and sip.

And, I'll be going to the post office again. And wirting, and beginning to clear and organize things for our next show and for Thanksgiving. DSis, ODB, DH and I will be having lunch next Tuesday to discuss T-day menu and who should prepare what. ODB will be coming here to cook the turkey. We always try to assign something foolproof to DN, ODB's oldest DD who invariably brings some difficult to swallow concoction. She has a heart of pure gold, and is not a cook in any world. Last year I asked that she bring a simple green salad. Instead she scoured the internet and came up with a Finnish dish that involved lentils and fish, served cold with greens. I love her dearly.

Yesterday was rainy after just an overcast early morning. The sun did extend its long beams to make a psychedelic pre-dawn, then never appeared itself. The cloud cover was too thick.

[finnime]

Pink Cashmere, I'm thinking of you and offering prayers for your strength and wisdom as you move ahead.

[finnime]

soupandstew, I can see why the author entrusted you with such a vitally important role in book creation. Your understanding and empathy I'm sure permeate your work on the book and it will be greater for your involvement.

[finnime]

countrygirl2, I'm hoping for the best for you and your family. Older age brings hard challenges. It's a good thing you are strong and able. Best to you.

[Pink Cashmere]

I have been up for hours, because of my stomach. I really need it to calm down within the next couple of hours.

[raeoflyte]

Hugs pink.

[daisylu]

Prayers for you, Pink Cashmere .

It is difficult being the only person actively trying to maintain or improve a relationship.

[daisylu]

Decided to take the day off. Not much going on, and I need to buy a ceiling fan and get it installed in my office. I also have a ton of stuff that I need to shop for for the fundraiser for baby Serenity.

[pulmonarymd]

Just to add to what I said above. Just admitted a patient to icu who may need to be placed on a ventilator because he has RSV pneumonia. It isn’t always a benign disease

[azucena]

My boss has been out for two weeks for a surgery. I physically cringed when I heard his voice again. Well that confirms a major stressor in my life.

Need to continue to work on boundaries and choosing when to stand my ground on his poor decisions.

ETA - Any tips from those of you who have BTDT?

[lurkyloo]

Okay no more swim playdates with this family on school nights.  Holy fuck that was a mess    I could have handled it better probably but WTF.
Side WTF:  the local Dominos delivery person is apparently wearing so much cologne that the boxes and bag smell strongly of it even the morning after 

[daisylu]

Nov 10, 2023 9:54:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Okay no more swim playdates with this family on school nights.  Holy fuck that was a mess    I could have handled it better probably but WTF.
Side WTF:  the local Dominos delivery person is apparently wearing so much cologne that the boxes and bag smell strongly of it even the morning after 

Ewwwww.

[daisylu]

I found a very old, but new in box ceiling fan in daughter's old closet. Told DH it wouldn't be my choice, but it'll work. He says nope, we'll just get a new one. I almost passed out from shock.

Pretty sure that the one I found in the closest was a $10 find by mom at a flea market.

[finnime]

You are very brave and breathtakingly foolish, lurkyloo!

[susana1954]

I am home today because of Veteran's Day.  I am retired, but I have been doing a lot of substitute teaching lately.  So, anyway, I decided to spend the morning doing laundry and cleaning house.

But, of course, it isn't that "easy."   Everything went well until I walked by the dining room.  I had forgotten that I had gotten halfway through relining the kitchen cabinets and had simply moved everything in there when I started working more.  So I guess I need to finish that this weekend.  Only I cut out four new Christmas stockings since my new mantel is so much smaller than my old one that I can't use the 10 stockings (grandkids + Penny) that I used on the old one.  My idea is that I will do one per family and then one each for Penny and me.  Four is manageable.  But that's another unfinished project.

Something tells me that this will be a short weekend after all!

[lurkyloo]

Nov 10, 2023 10:03:39 GMT -5 finnime said:

You are very brave and breathtakingly foolish, lurkyloo !

Also a doormat.     I was figuring they’d swim for an hour or so, then it’d be dark and they’d have pizza then go home.  Was not expecting them to bring an extra guest, disappear after half an hour bc their mom scheduled a house viewing, reappear for pizza and more after-dark swimming two hours later with extra guest showing up 40 min earlier than invited guests…also DS is just out of control at that point of the day and we need to end playdates at 7 absolute latest.  

[chiver78]

I'm heading out with LD to meet finnime for coffee. just need to stop for gas on the way.

[jerseygirl]

My Tesla S is 6 yrs old. Got a message on screen - battery voltage is low, schedule service. OMG no!!!
Anyway not the ‘big’ battery. It has a regular size car battery also, didn’t know that!
Anyway Tesla mobile service came to my house, replaced battery and added air to my tires and checked other? Things
Cost was $245 think that’s ok

As for the big battery, I have an 8 yr warranty on it but now the idea is these batteries have a much longer life than expected. Won’t need to replace at 8 yrs but warranty says it will be replaced if it falls to 80% or less
Other than a microchip replaced in screen (no cost) this is the only maintenance in 6 years. Love this car!!

[busymom]

Nov 10, 2023 9:40:52 GMT -5 azucena said:

My boss has been out for two weeks for a surgery. I physically cringed when I heard his voice again. Well that confirms a major stressor in my life.

Need to continue to work on boundaries and choosing when to stand my ground on his poor decisions.

ETA - Any tips from those of you who have BTDT?

    When I've been convinced that a work environment is toxic, that's when I've done serious job hunting.  If even his voice annoys you, it's time to start looking.  Best wishes!  BTDT.

[jerseygirl]

Agree if job has major stress, toxic workplace or you’re just really disliking it - GET A NEW JOB!!

[azucena]

Nov 10, 2023 12:06:51 GMT -5 busymom said:

Nov 10, 2023 9:40:52 GMT -5 azucena said:

My boss has been out for two weeks for a surgery. I physically cringed when I heard his voice again. Well that confirms a major stressor in my life.

Need to continue to work on boundaries and choosing when to stand my ground on his poor decisions.

ETA - Any tips from those of you who have BTDT?

    When I've been convinced that a work environment is toxic, that's when I've done serious job hunting.  If even his voice annoys you, it's time to start looking.  Best wishes!  BTDT.

I'm still in the phase of trying to out-stubborn him. Probably naïve of me. Why should I leave a job I love and am good at bc he's an azzhat? Helps that I know I have support and allies levels above him. Sucks that my grandboss knows he sucks and even asked if he treats females differently which I confirmed, but most people here avoid conflict.

Plus, I make a great salary, benefits are at market or above and include an HRA and a pension which I'm sure I won't be able to find elsewhere.

I've taken to just ignoring some of his dumber requests. If questioned, I can justify why I chose to spend my time elsewhere and how it made the company money vs chasing his shiny object of the day.

[busymom]

Nov 10, 2023 12:13:19 GMT -5 azucena said:

Nov 10, 2023 12:06:51 GMT -5 busymom said:

    When I've been convinced that a work environment is toxic, that's when I've done serious job hunting.  If even his voice annoys you, it's time to start looking.  Best wishes!  BTDT.

I'm still in the phase of trying to out-stubborn him. Probably naïve of me. Why should I leave a job I love and am good at bc he's an azzhat? Helps that I know I have support and allies levels above him. Sucks that my grandboss knows he sucks and even asked if he treats females differently which I confirmed, but most people here avoid conflict.

Plus, I make a great salary, benefits are at market or above and include an HRA and a pension which I'm sure I won't be able to find elsewhere.

I've taken to just ignoring some of his dumber requests. If questioned, I can justify why I chose to spend my time elsewhere and how it made the company money vs chasing his shiny object of the day.

    I won't bore you with my experience, but I tried to outlast a woman boss who even got fired, but she fought it, and the higher ups brought her back.  That's when I got serious about finding something better.

    If you actually start getting physical symptoms from a toxic job, like frequent headaches or stomach aches, it's time to leave.