what are you doing right now?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I forgot to comment about thrift stores and overcharging.

It is the popularity of flipping, upcycling, vintage and reducing waste driving up costs.

It's definitely not the deal it once was on things like baby clothes. Older kids are a mixed bag.

I search for unique things for myself. For basics and things like jeans I shop retail anymore.

I'm addicted to the crazy lamp lady on Facebook. I've actually identified a few things at local stores thanks to her videos.

I was sorely tempted by an apple shaped cookie jar I now know about thanks to Tik Tok but I left it behind I have enough cookie jars.

[weltz]

Oct 21, 2023 17:53:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Cause I like sharing my projects here is the other side of my dresser. The Chinese Lions and doll belonged to my maternal grandma. My grandfather gifted them to her when he was in Korea

Your Chinese lions are Chinese Fu Dogs.  I love Fu Dogs. I have a couple myself.

[soupandstew]

Well, a shitty week was topped off by arrival of our annual premium increase notices for our LTC coverage.  It's going up a total of $240 a month, $84 for my share.  About the only thing I can cut in my personal budget is my monthly mani/pedi and I will definitely miss it.  It's pretty much the only self-care I do.  Oh well, back to trimming my own nails and leaving them bare.  That will definitely make my doctor happy as he always lectures me on the damages from painting your nails year-round.   It's always been a delicate balancing act to fund my share of expenses on my income and this is just more of that plate juggling. 

[Pink Cashmere]

I was there when all of my grandchildren were born. I think just not being able to be there would’ve upset my nerves. Not that I am judging anybody else about that. I’m just speaking for me and what was important to me. It helps that not only did I want to be there, my daughter also really wanted me there. 

So I can’t even really figure out how I think I would feel if my ex husband saw and held the baby before me. Because he’d have to be present for the birth for that to even be possible, and I don’t see that happening.

To be fair to him, he and his uglass wife did come to the hospital a few hours after our first grandchild, DGS, was born. Fortunately, I passed them on my way out, so I didn’t have to sit in the room with his uglass wife and try to play nice in front of DD since she’d just had a baby. I can be cordial with him, but his wife is silly and messy, and it’s best for me to not be around her. I went back, but waited until they had left. I don’t remember if they visited DD and DGD1 at the hospital. With DGD2, he couldn’t visit at the hospital even if he wanted to, because she was born during the pandemic, summer of 2020, and DD could only have one visitor the whole time, and she wanted that to be me. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Oct 21, 2023 18:52:19 GMT -5 weltz said:

Oct 21, 2023 17:53:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Cause I like sharing my projects here is the other side of my dresser. The Chinese Lions and doll belonged to my maternal grandma. My grandfather gifted them to her when he was in Korea

Your Chinese lions are Chinese Fu Dogs.  I love Fu Dogs. I have a couple myself.

They are one of the three things I'd save in a fire.

I always loved grandma telling me how she got them. I've cherished them since I was a kid.

[minnesotapaintlady]

I got a sudden urge to watch Malificent for some reason.  Going to make some popcorn.

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 21, 2023 17:39:30 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oct 21, 2023 16:30:06 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Yep. This is the crux of it.  I told my sister this morning it was very likely an uninvited visit and I know my nephew and his wife were trying to keep visitors down until their son had his first round of shots.  At this point, he’s 3 weeks old.  

My nephew isn’t about to turn his dad down if he shows up on his doorstep, but it doesn't mean that he’s happy about the visit and won’t resent it.  Bringing his fiancée probably isn’t helping either.  

The Toddler was born in March of 2020.  So, the pediatrician advised no visitors period at first.  

The world changed so fast.  The plan was for my sister to go over and be in the delivery room when he was born and then stay with them for a while--like our mom did for her.  Well, that didn't happened.

At about 6 weeks, they let her come over and see him through the door, but no touching him.

Then they allowed visitors who had a negative Covid test.  

[TheOtherMe]

My sister got a puppy, a Maltese.

I'm guessing the conversation with BIL was if you are working at Block this winter, I am having a dog.  She really doesn't like being alone from January through April 5 evenings a week.  

After they lost the last one, he said absolutely no more dogs.  

I'm happy for her because I don't know what I would do without my cats.  I also know my BIL didn't want to feel the pain of that loss again.  I get that, too.

[weltz]

Oct 21, 2023 19:36:58 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Oct 21, 2023 18:52:19 GMT -5 weltz said:

Your Chinese lions are Chinese Fu Dogs.  I love Fu Dogs. I have a couple myself.

They are one of the three things I'd save in a fire.

I always loved grandma telling me how she got them. I've cherished them since I was a kid.

I understand.  I would take Sushi and my antique Victorinox chef's knife.

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 21, 2023 14:25:26 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Oct 21, 2023 14:08:41 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

DH asked me if I was still mad at him, which shows that, once again, he is too dense to get the point.  I am not mad, I am miles beyond mad.  He broke something fundamental in our relationship-all my fondness (I haven't loved him in many years) and any shred of respect for him is gone permanently.  He thinks so much of himself that he honestly thinks he's perfect and no one could possibly ever be more than momentarily irritated at him.  Therefore there is no need for change or behavior modification from him.  I'm done-I'm just not screwing myself over financially to get out of the marriage.  He says I don't do anything for him - he's beginning to see what "anything" looks like when it's not happening.  

Sounds like narcissistic behavior with your DH. My sister is married to one. I'm sorry things are so bad in your house right now. 💔

I also hope that I never get to that degree with my own DH. He irritates me from time to time, but there is still love both ways. But also reminds me that I need to plan, because I will never be stuck due to $.

I love me some Mister, but I will never forget the lessons learned from when my ex husband and I split and I had been a SAHM while I was married. 

That is why, even when I talk here about planning for my retirement, I always say that I have to make sure I will be okay whether Mister and I are together or not. I want it to always be that I am with him just because that’s where I want to be, and not because I actually need him financially, to survive and thrive. I can say that my lifestyle would definitely change, even if we broke up tomorrow, simply because his income is a lot more than mine. But I would still be okay financially, and I need to make sure that will remain true for my future self.

I never want to be back in the position I was when my ex and I split. And back then I was young. Now I’m old and tired, and don’t want to struggle, since I’ve already been there and done that.

That is not me speaking on soupandstew or her situation, I’m just sharing how I see things for my own life. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 21, 2023 19:23:23 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Well, a shitty week was topped off by arrival of our annual premium increase notices for our LTC coverage.  It's going up a total of $240 a month, $84 for my share.  About the only thing I can cut in my personal budget is my monthly mani/pedi and I will definitely miss it.  It's pretty much the only self-care I do.  Oh well, back to trimming my own nails and leaving them bare.  That will definitely make my doctor happy as he always lectures me on the damages from painting your nails year-round.   It's always been a delicate balancing act to fund my share of expenses on my income and this is just more of that plate juggling. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Oct 21, 2023 19:41:32 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I got a sudden urge to watch Malificent for some reason.  Going to make some popcorn.

Well, so much for that.  Disney+ pulled it from the lineup. 

Back to Blacklist murder and violence.

[cooper88]

soupandstew Big hugs.

I also remind DH from time to time to be nice, because the neighbors are definitely used to seeing me dig holes in the yard.

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

We made up a fire bowl and had some hot spiced apple cider. Skies are clear and the moon really bright in spite of it only about a half moon. Topped off a really splendid day!

[bean29]

Oct 20, 2023 19:37:20 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Oct 20, 2023 19:30:04 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I do not know what to watch tv tonight.

We'll keep apple tv likely through the end of the year.

I still want to watch the morning show. I'll wait until DH can watch it with me.

I've been told I would LOVE Lessons in Chemistry. I'd agree, from the teasers I've seen. I think you would as well.

Is that on Netflix? I will take time to watch it if it is. I read the book. Very enjoyable. Curious to see how the movie depicted everything.

[Artemis Windsong]

It's been a "week" for my family.  GrGrS has had some cold thing as well as his Dad.  My DD ended up in the hospital for dehydration went home then back in with vomiting and bad headache.  Diagnosed as Illeus.  She received at lot of IV hydration.  She told me how much in milliliters so I zoned out.  Something like 1,000 3 or 4 times a day.  My GrD is a nurse, which probably saved her since she couldn't get herself anywhere.

She's exhausted and resting at home. Then.  No one shows up for rural ambulance shift so she went out.  I'm sure she let them know. 

Last night 6 people went out for dinner.

 

There is more.  She got pink eye.  I hope all plans are staying at home resting this weekend.

OT.  I have watched a lot of spy movies, et al, with secret rooms.  I would like a secret room with a tricky opening like turning the lamp or pulling a brick out!  The room is well organized and clean with relaxing things.

[giramomma]

Oct 21, 2023 20:34:16 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Oct 20, 2023 19:37:20 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I've been told I would LOVE Lessons in Chemistry. I'd agree, from the teasers I've seen. I think you would as well.

Is that on Netflix? I will take time to watch it if it is. I read the book. Very enjoyable. Curious to see how the movie depicted everything.

Apple +. I didn't know it was a book.

[bean29]

Oct 21, 2023 13:25:25 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Oct 21, 2023 13:16:26 GMT -5 giramomma said:

At one of our thrift stores, some kids t-shirts are over 4 a pop now. That's like a buck less than target sales.

I blame all the articles on thrift store finds that are worth $$$. They make it sound so simple. Meanwhile I was impressed when I found a new hoodie with tags for a local college football team for $20.

And as a larger chested woman, I donate my old bras. They are still useful, just a little old (3 years max) and don't fit me quite right anymore. I hope women who need them have a chance to buy them cheaply. In the last 5 years I have never paid less that $70 for a bra. As a single mom I went without a lot of stuff to take care of my kids. Believe it or not, lack of a bra for a large chested woman can cause a lot of health problems.

Now I'm wondering if there is a better way to pass them on.

I thought places like Goodwill would not take used bras/underware? I am either a 34 C or D. I do not look like I have huge boobs, I consider myself rather small chested. A bra that fits explains it ( if I remember correctly) I have shallow roots, so instead of sticking straight out in front the volume of my boobs is spread over a larger area. I also commonly spend 50-70 on a bra then decide they are not comfortable. I also yoyo up & down in weight, so keep some around jic.

I have tennis elbow issues, so should not be catching up on ym on my phone, while in bed. ( bend elbows too much). I am going to bring the little used I pad in the bedroom so I can try to see if that works better. Took Mom to church for first time in a few weeks & then to Culvers for dinner.

[giramomma]

Oct 21, 2023 18:10:18 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Same on the bolded. I put up with a lot of BS and put a lot of work into DH, and he isn't even my kids' father. There is no way he is getting out easy. My kids' fathers were never worth the hassle, but DH and I will go to the grave together.

I won't divorce DH, but our state does have legal separation.

Can't get married to someone else if you are legally separated.

I'm also happy to legally stay married to him and have him live elsewhere. Lord knows it would save me alimony and child support.

Staying married or legally separated would also keep DH on my health insurance. Which is better for him. Otherwise health insurance would take his entire current paycheck.

All the crap he put me through, I'm leaving our house over my dead body. And the kids aren't going anywhere, either.

DH can suck it up in some shit-ass room he can afford and do whatever he likes/feels chemically compelled to on his own time, in his own space.

(I've been feeling like the other shoe is going to drop...but nothing else has really precipitated this).

[bean29]

Oct 21, 2023 21:14:36 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 21, 2023 18:10:18 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Same on the bolded. I put up with a lot of BS and put a lot of work into DH, and he isn't even my kids' father. There is no way he is getting out easy. My kids' fathers were never worth the hassle, but DH and I will go to the grave together.

I won't divorce DH, but our state does have legal separation.

Can't get married to someone else if you are legally separated.

I'm also happy to legally stay married to him and have him live elsewhere. Lord knows it would save me alimony and child support.

Staying married or legally separated would also keep DH on my health insurance. Which is better for him. Otherwise health insurance would take his entire current paycheck.

All the crap he put me through, I'm leaving our house over my dead body. And the kids aren't going anywhere, either.

DH can suck it up in some shit-ass room he can afford and do whatever he likes/feels chemically compelled to on his own time, in his own space.

(I've been feeling like the other shoe is going to drop...but nothing else has really precipitated this).

Are you separating then or just contemplating it? You also can go from separated to divorced in short order as we have no-fault divorce. Be careful b/c he can go for joint custody with child support and it would really cost you a lot of $$. You would then have a much harder time with your budget than you already have now. Hugs. I know you have a lot going on rn.

[minnesotapaintlady]

How I WISH Ex 2.0 would find a girlfriend.  Move on with your life already.  I am not still your wife.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Oct 21, 2023 21:02:48 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 21, 2023 20:34:16 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Is that on Netflix? I will take time to watch it if it is. I read the book. Very enjoyable. Curious to see how the movie depicted everything.

Apple +. I didn't know it was a book.

It is. Its in my to be read pile. I bought it last year and its theme hit too close to home. I havent been able to pick it up I pass over it for other books in my pile.

Maybe next year.

[weltz]

I never cared about who got to hold DS first. All that mattered was that HE WAS ALIVE!
He was blue and stillborn, but the doctors were able to bring him back.  
His APGAR scores were horrific, and I never knew if he'd be 'normal".

[weltz]

So, in the long run, does it matter who holds the babies first? Be grateful for healthy babies.

[toomuchreality]

Oct 21, 2023 20:06:24 GMT -5 cooper88 said:

soupandstew Big hugs.

I also remind DH from time to time to be nice, because the neighbors are definitely used to seeing me dig holes in the yard.

This made me laugh! The part about the neighbors being used to seeing you dig holes in the yard. 🤣 That was a good one!

[taz157]

Oct 21, 2023 21:30:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

How I WISH Ex 2.0 would find a girlfriend.  Move on with your life already.  I am not still your wife.

My parents have been divorced since 1988. My dad would still remarry my mom in a heartbeat. That will NEVER happen!

[taz157]

Watching FAT: A Documentary. Eye-opening!!

[Pink Cashmere]

Now I know for sure that my issues with being so hot that I can’t sleep, is me, even though I still believe that a lot of body heat generated at night in our bedroom, between me, Mister, and the dogs, is a problem too. I was still one to get cold easily when Mister and I started fooling with each other, and I use to call him my personal heater, because of all the heat his body gave off. It was all cute and snuggly back then, but not so much now that things have changed with me. 

I’m not sure about Newbie, but I know for sure about Boy, that when he’s been on my bed and moves to another spot on the bed or is forced off the bed, wherever he was laying, is VERY warm. So even though I ASSume that it’s proportionate to his size, he has some serious body heat too. 

We slept with the windows in our bedroom open again last night, just because we learned that it is enjoyable and it’s more cost efficient to let nature cool our bedroom when the outside temps are right, vs using the a/c and cooling the whole house. Last night, our bedroom was cool, bordering on chilly, and I was still hot to the point that I was sweaty sometimes. The rest of the house was also cool, which I know because I got out of bed a few times because I couldn’t sleep. I had a few other things going on, but the main reason I couldn’t sleep was because I was so hot. But our bedroom wasn’t actually too warm. So now I have to acknowledge that that was a “me” issue, that had nothing to do with the temperature in the house or our bedroom, which was cooler than the rest of the house. 

I really don’t know what to do about that. I’ve always thought that if the bedroom was cool enough, that would eliminate one of my sleep issues, regarding me being too hot to sleep. But after last night, I don’t think it is reasonable to try to make my bedroom cold enough for me to be able to sleep comfortably. 

When I talked about it to Mister today, he said I’m having hot flashes, and I told him that for me, it doesn’t seem to be flashes, but more like drawn out sessions. We were in the phone, because I was at work, and I told him that while we were talking, I was actually hit as hell and sweating like a fool….. for no apparent reason, because it wasn’t actually hot in my workplace at the time.

I don’t like it, but I can try to deal with it during the day, but the real problem is how I already had insomnia before that even started and it it is just another part of the pile that has made my sleep issues even worse. 

Mister doesn’t get it how my sleep issues affect me, because he can sleep like a baby, regardless of what’s going on in his life. He might complain after one night he doesn’t sleep well, but he doesn’t understand what it’s like for that to be regular. A few days ago, around 2:30am, I knew he was awake, and asked him what was wrong. An hour later he got out of bed to just go on and start his day, since he couldn’t go back to sleep. He couldn’t sleep because of stuff with his job. Every time he came back in the bedroom, he was surprised that I was awake.

I told him, this is what I go through most nights, you just don’t know it because you are sleeping. I am usually awake when you get up for work, I just don’t say or do anything to let you know that I’m awake. Since then, I have made my point, by telling him stuff that goes on after he gets up, that I wouldn’t know if I was sleep,  or saying something to him after he gets up and comes back to the bedroom when he’s getting ready for work, so he knows I’m not making stuff up about my sleep issues. Besides the insomnia I’ve wrestled with for about 20 years now, now my hands and wrists wake and keep me up by going numb or hurting, I can’t get comfortable because I get so hot and often sweaty during the night. And there is still the fact that I still feel like we need a bigger bed, because for around 20 years, I had a queen size bed to sleep in by myself, however was comfortable to me, and sharing the same size bed with another person, every single night, is not working for me.

We can cuddle when we first go to bed, but at some point during the night, imma move away and need him to stay in his side of the bed and imma need room to get comfortable. I slept alone for so long, that even though I like the cuddling part, it’s just a fact that I need space to try to sleep.

I just want him to acknowledge that if one night where he doesn’t sleep well throws him off, all the sleepless nights I have, must have an effect on me and my ability to function like a “normal” person. Because I am letting him know now that I am actually awake when he thinks I am sleeping, he seems to be “getting it” a little bit. He told me the other day, that he doesn’t know how I do it. Well sir, I’m actually not “doing it” too well anymore.

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 21, 2023 21:48:04 GMT -5 weltz said:

So, in the long run, does it matter who holds the babies first? Be grateful for healthy babies.

When I was pregnant with my babies, my OB had a policy that she did not reveal the gender. I don’t know if I would cooperate with that policy today, and it is a moot point now because if I got pregnant now, the gender would be the least of my problems and worries. 

But at the time, I didn’t care if I gave birth to a frog, it was MINE, born from my womb…… and my only hope and concern was that my baby be healthy. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Oct 21, 2023 22:08:38 GMT -5 taz157 said:

Oct 21, 2023 21:30:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

How I WISH Ex 2.0 would find a girlfriend.  Move on with your life already.  I am not still your wife.

My parents have been divorced since 1988. My dad would still remarry my mom in a heartbeat. That will NEVER happen!

When I first started working years ago, there was a janitor at the company that had been divorced for decades and he was still pining after his ex-wife.  It was the saddest thing. 

Plus, it kind of creeps me out a little.  Jason Mamoa shows up at my door and I'm running with that.  I don't want to have to worry about what a slightly off kilter Ex that can't let go is going to do.  I guess I'll just deal with that problem when it comes.