what are you doing right now?

[weltz]

Oct 21, 2023 14:08:41 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

DH asked me if I was still mad at him, which shows that, once again, he is too dense to get the point.  I am not mad, I am miles beyond mad.  He broke something fundamental in our relationship-all my fondness (I haven't loved him in many years) and any shred of respect for him is gone permanently.  He thinks so much of himself that he honestly thinks he's perfect and no one could possibly ever be more than momentarily irritated at him.  Therefore there is no need for change or behavior modification from him.  I'm done-I'm just not screwing myself over financially to get out of the marriage.  He says I don't do anything for him - he's beginning to see what "anything" looks like when it's not happening.  

I'm so sorry you have to live like that. 

[weltz]

I'm watching IT 2, and drinking coffee.
Reading some of your struggles with asshole partners really makes me glad I live alone.

[jerseygirl]

Oct 21, 2023 12:15:32 GMT -5 steph08 said:

Azucena, I am so there with you.

DH ran to town to get something today and offered to pick up like the four things I needed for groceries this weekend.

I gave him a list with specific instructions (only 1 or 2 of this, just a single roll of that) and he comes home proud of himself that he bought the giant variety pack.

I had only wanted a single one to get us through to the Amazon delivery of the $15 cheaper variety pack on Monday.

Then it's "ypu didn't say you bought it on Amazon! you never buy enough of anything so I was making sure we had more. Fine I'll never do anything again..."

God the gaslighting and bullshit that comes out of his mouth makes me insane. Meanwhile he plays on his phone all morning while I was up with a pukey kid half the night, did laundry and dishes, etc.

F*$# I could just divorce him sometimes and enjoy my own company.

Yes I get the ‘well you didn’t like what I did, so never doing this again!’ And then walking away
Just trying to get out of a ‘chore’. Wouldn’t allow your kid to do this but somehow alllowing husband??

[minnesotapaintlady]

Oct 21, 2023 14:25:26 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Oct 21, 2023 14:08:41 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

DH asked me if I was still mad at him, which shows that, once again, he is too dense to get the point.  I am not mad, I am miles beyond mad.  He broke something fundamental in our relationship-all my fondness (I haven't loved him in many years) and any shred of respect for him is gone permanently.  He thinks so much of himself that he honestly thinks he's perfect and no one could possibly ever be more than momentarily irritated at him.  Therefore there is no need for change or behavior modification from him.  I'm done-I'm just not screwing myself over financially to get out of the marriage.  He says I don't do anything for him - he's beginning to see what "anything" looks like when it's not happening.  

Sounds like narcissistic behavior with your DH. My sister is married to one. I'm sorry things are so bad in your house right now. 💔

I also hope that I never get to that degree with my own DH. He irritates me from time to time, but there is still love both ways. But also reminds me that I need to plan, because I will never be stuck due to $.

Yeah, I can't imagine being forced to stay married to someone I didn't even like for financial reasons. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Except for a few hours of mowing yesterday I've been in my pajamas since Wednesday.  It's been fabulous.  I do need to try and get up at a more decent time tomorrow or Monday morning is going to be rough.

[azucena]

They are already almost halfway home from an hour drive. Not sure why they didnt stay longer.
I've been lazy, need to shower and head out on errands before they get home. Could use a new blazer for conf next week.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

[notagain]

Soup. Sorry you are going thru this
I wonder some times about the male species. My so will question me about something and I have to tell him I'm not stupid. Shuts him up but I do wonder where it comes from

[soupandstew]

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

Not having been a parent/grandparent I can't say firsthand that I understand what your sister is feeling, but I'm going to vote for butt hurt.  I have a hard time wrapping my head around some sort of contest or conflict over who is holding the child first.  After all, he is the ex' grandson too isn't he?  And to blame your nephew is ridiculous IMHO.  I don't have family so I'm probably wrong but I can't see the harm in a lot of people loving a new child in the family, even if your sister doesn't particularly like them.

[notagain]

mich. Its her baby how dare ex and girlfriend get to see grand child first!!yes she's being overly dramatic

[daisylu]

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

I see both sides. I raised my son with limited help from his father. There was not even emotional support for son from his father, which was something I tried to encourage. I don't imagine my son will ever have children, but I would be supremely hurt by his father showing up a fiancée now and spending time with my grandchild before I was able to. Some of that can be contributed to social media and the internet making a bigger deal of things than it should be, but those things also last forever.

The rational side of me says the baby will never remember any of this, so it shouldn't matter. But to the mom in me it matters.

I'd like to say I wouldn't be mad at son, but I might considering how much I gave up and how little his dad did and he in my mind he should stand up for me. That's not how it works, but emotions around your children are complicated.

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

Drove through heaven today. Headed through the Appalachians to Linville Falls NC. We were planning to hike to the falls, but it seemed like everyone in NC had the same idea, so we started wending our way home.

It is so hard to explain the joy that wells up seeing the grandeur of Mother Nature in Autumn. We ooohhed and aahhed like when watching fireworks, but foliage display somehow causes a little bit of the soul to bubble up attached to the joy!

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

The ex is father of the son.  What was he supposed to do when they are at the door?  

Sounds like she is jealous because he got there first.

She is angry at the wrong person.  If she choses to be angry, it should be at the ex who won't settle the court case.

[azucena]

Mich - it's also likely a grief of sorts in that she prob pictured welcoming grandbabies with her now ex-husband.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

I don't get it, but I've never been very "mushy" about stuff like that.  It didn't bother me when Carrot did "firsts" at the daycare nor do I care if my kids are at the ex's for holidays or birthdays instead of with me, so I highly doubt I would ever be upset about an ex seeing a grandchild first either.  It's not like the baby is going to imprint like a duckling onto the first grandparent they see and it will forever be the chosen one.

[giramomma]

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

It's not just that her ex got their first. It's the finace.

Legally, she's on the cusp of being family, but she's really not. . She's not any relation to your nephew. She didn't put any work in. And she's first in line for the funsies, something that is romanticized as being for the mother.

I probably would be hurt too. I'm already pretty damn petty about DH taking another partner, whether I am alive or not.

The worst part about it is the ones that are put in the worst situation are your nephew's new little nuclear family.

[toomuchreality]

Oct 21, 2023 11:30:40 GMT -5 CCL said:

Oct 21, 2023 10:44:42 GMT -5 finnime said:

Watching it rain and planning out making rice pudding and the German chocolate cake. I ran to the grocery store and got the requisite pecans, buttermilk and coconut. Also got DH something I never do: Frito-Lay snacks, Cheetos and Doritos mainly. He is a happy camper. Life is short.

I love rice pudding! That sounds better than my leftovers I'm having for lunch.

Me too! But I prefer it without raisins.
I wish I had some.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Been looking for a necklace holder and ended up finding a sparkly black tree in the Halloween section of 5 Below.

It looks great!

I hung up my undead fairy above it and put Lady Squeakers next to it.

I'm pleased.

DH just said "Wow". Not sure if it was a good wow or this is what I married wow. 🤣

[notagain]

Need a picture drama!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Here it is

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

Oct 21, 2023 17:02:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Here it is

Awesomeness!

[notagain]

I like it. I need to go to 5 below

[steph08]

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

I remember when I had my parents' first grandchild, my dad made a point not to hold her before my mom got there. My mom had to work at the local post office that morning and couldn't leave to come to the hospital. I had already told her she wouldn't be in the room, but she wanted to be at the hospital when the baby was born.

But my DD was born before 9am, and she didn't get off work until 12. I know she was upset she couldn't be at the hospital and upset that she was born so quickly (we got to the hospital at 8am and called her). My in-laws had off from work that day, so they came in that morning. Then my dad came and wouldn't hold her until my mom did.

It was one of the few times I've seen my dad be remotely chivalrous toward my mom, so it sticks in my memory. She probably called him crying that my in-laws would get to see DD first, etc. So, I think it is a thing to some people. My mom also had to be put under when she had c-sections with my brother and I, so my dad held us first. I wonder if that played a part for her.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 21, 2023 16:30:06 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

It's not just that her ex got their first. It's the finace.

Legally, she's on the cusp of being family, but she's really not. . She's not any relation to your nephew. She didn't put any work in. And she's first in line for the funsies, something that is romanticized as being for the mother.

I probably would be hurt too. I'm already pretty damn petty about DH taking another partner, whether I am alive or not.

The worst part about it is the ones that are put in the worst situation are your nephew's new little nuclear family.

Yep. This is the crux of it.  I told my sister this morning it was very likely an uninvited visit and I know my nephew and his wife were trying to keep visitors down until their son had his first round of shots.  At this point, he’s 3 weeks old.  

My nephew isn’t about to turn his dad down if he shows up on his doorstep, but it doesn't mean that he’s happy about the visit and won’t resent it.  Bringing his fiancée probably isn’t helping either.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Cause I like sharing my projects here is the other side of my dresser. The Chinese Lions and doll belonged to my maternal grandma. My grandfather gifted them to her when he was in Korea

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I held Abby first then DH. Then his parents. Mine came later. Dad had been at hospice with grandpa and it was thought he might have shingles. My parents stayed away until they knew for sure.

I has an incredibly bad case of strep when having Gwen. She was born with a 103 fever so she got rushed off for a bit and I was exhausted.

DH held her first. He told his mom she was going to wait. She already had 7 grandkids
It was my parents first so they were going to be the first to meet her.

We thought we were going to need a crow bar to pry her out of my dad's arms. My mom got a photo of that moment it's one of my favorites.

[andi9899]

Oct 21, 2023 12:49:06 GMT -5 notagain said:

who has the freezer?

I just defrosted mine and it's sitting in my uncle's garage. It's totally empty.

[daisylu]

Oct 21, 2023 16:30:06 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 21, 2023 15:51:59 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

I just finished weaving in the ends to the baby blanket I knitted for my sister’s first grandson.  I forgot what kind of a pain this was to do.  I clipped a wrapper from the yarn with washing instructions on it to the blanket.  

My sister is all bent out of shape.  I don’t get it, but perhaps some here can clue me in.  She is going to get to see him at Christmas, after jumping through all kinds of hoops between their schedule and her work.  Apparently her ex and his fiancée are now visiting and sister is all bent out of shape that fiancée will get to hold her first grandson before my sister.  She is pissed at her son that he ‘let’ them visit, but my best guess is that they didn’t ask……just showed up.  At this point, my nephew doesn't have much choice in the matter (and he’s really too easy going to put up too much of a stink).  I tried to point out that she’ll be there for his first Christmas, but she’s still hurt and upset.  I don’t get it.  Is this logical, or is my sister just all butt hurt because her ex got there first?

It's not just that her ex got their first. It's the finace.

Legally, she's on the cusp of being family, but she's really not. . She's not any relation to your nephew. She didn't put any work in. And she's first in line for the funsies, something that is romanticized as being for the mother.

I probably would be hurt too. I'm already pretty damn petty about DH taking another partner, whether I am alive or not.

The worst part about it is the ones that are put in the worst situation are your nephew's new little nuclear family.

Same on the bolded. I put up with a lot of BS and put a lot of work into DH, and he isn't even my kids' father. There is no way he is getting out easy. My kids' fathers were never worth the hassle, but DH and I will go to the grave together.

[countrygirl2]

My husband and I have our moments. There were years it was bad, the worst being our first years of marriage. But I can say since he retired he has been really nice for the most part. I have to remember none of us are perfect, not him, not me.

He has mellowed so much, like today he helped pick up the debris. He filled the softener bin and checked on cat litter, so I'm going to pick some up tomorrow and he will unload it. He is still working on the boat for son getting it ready.

And I was so tired tonight I could hardly move so hubs went to town and bought us dinner. I was going to and he said its ok, I will.

I got the front of the house washed down, it looks so nice and the porch out there. I also got the furniture and screened in porch in the back washed down too. Everything is clean now and ready for winter. I will wash the windows again but I used vinegar and ammonia in water and they sparkle but I can see water spots on them. I added the d/w rinse to the water for the back and they came out better. I would have taken the screens off and cleaned them right but I don't have that kind of energy anymore. I no longer can do what I used to in a day sadly.

I told hubs I want to get the landscaping done like the neighbors. They had a landscaping company in town come out and fix theirs with plants that need little work and use crushed rock instead of mulch. They fixed it where weeds don't grow through. Live here or sell it, it needs this done, it won't be cheap that's for sure. But if we are here I will have them come spring and fall and take care of it. I'm getting to old to maintain all this stuff.

Hubs finished putting the mulch plate on so I can mow leaves, can't say that will be my favorite thing to do. But he won't be able to for awhile, so I will help.

[NancysSummerSip]

Oct 21, 2023 17:02:05 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Here it is

Now that is an art installation!