what are you doing right now?

[Pink Cashmere]

I am irritated with Mister again…. Surprise! NOT!

But this time, it’s not because of a serious issue regarding our relationship or whatever. 

This time I am irritated because I have been trying to get back on track with our diet and eating healthier meals as often as possible. Yesterday, he bought a family size package of cookies and ate them all day, even as he was complaining about the weight he has gained. When he fixed a bowl of chili to eat after it was finally done, he also got a few more cookies, that he ate while he was waiting for his chili to cook enough to eat.

I’ve been making salad dressing consistently for a couple weeks now, but he bought some blue cheese dressing when he bought the cookies. I didn’t fuss, but truth be told, I was mildly irritated, because he says he is on board with us making as much of our own stuff as we can, to try to avoid unnecessary and potentially harmful ingredients, so why not at least ask me to look into making blue cheese dressing, if that’s what he wanted. Never mind that he didn’t notice that the salad greens are gone, so there’s nothing for him to put his dressing on anyway.

Today, I got a little irritated again while he was at work, because he was buying snacks out of the vending machines at work, and talking about going to the gas stations near his job, to get something to eat. None of which would’ve been necessary because he was starving, if he’d taken his lunch from home. Even when I put lunch for him in containers in the refrigerator the night before, even when I’m positive it’s something he likes, he “forgets” it more often than not and ends up snacking on junk food and buying something to eat during his work day. 

Part of the reason it all bugs me so much is because he whines so much about his weight, but doesn’t take advantage of the things I’ve been doing to improve our diet. It reminds me of what happened soon after we moved here, when he actually lost 11lbs the first month we live here, because I was doing the shopping and meal planning, and preparing his lunches for the next day, but when his daughters were here every day after the first month, my money and my efforts to feed my household were wasted, because nobody would eat the meals I was preparing, but me. I wasn’t cooking anything weird, it was just “clean” foods, more than it was processed or fried foods. His daughters wanted nothing to do with that kind of diet, and he ate what they wanted, regardless of the meal I’d prepared. Which is one of the reasons I stopped trying to provide food for my household. 

But now I’m trying to get back to eating that way, and like I just told Mister, I’m not going to waste my money and time trying to have enough for him too, since he’s clearly just giving lip service to the things he says he wants to change regarding his weight and eating habits. I will just do my own thing, and just make sure I have enough for me and how I want to get back to eating. Which means I’m close to done listening to the complaints about weight and shit, if you’re gonna keep eating cookies and junk food all day, instead of eating better food that is readily available. Eat what you want, but don’t whine and complain to me about your weight and how you keep gaining more, if you aren’t willing to take advantage of the healthier options in our kitchen vs the junk food you eat all day, every day. And don’t get mad when I only buy and prepare enough for me, because I don’t want to keep wasting my money and time, preparing more than what I need, trying to feed somebody else that lets it go to waste because they prefer other stuff.

And for the record, even when I was raising my children, if I prepared a meal that didn’t even taste good to me, I’d say we aren’t eating that, and usually go buy something to eat instead. So I’m not trying to make anybody eat some nasty food. And even if it’s okay to me, but not so much to other members of my household, I’ve always made it clear that I don’t consider myself to be such a great cook that people can’t tell me they don’t like something I prepared for them to eat. PLEASE tell me, so I can try to figure out how to fix it, or just know not to try to feed you that particular thing anymore. That does NOT hurt my feelings at all lol. So just tell me, so I can figure out something else.

[countrygirl2]

I understand that, my hubs is doing better so not complaining, but hubs has and at times does that. So I told him I wasn't going to pay attention. Like you say, why make something low cal and healthy than they eat cookies or half a jar of peanut butter. They have to want to do something about it and hubs finally has to a point.

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 16, 2023 20:31:19 GMT -5 azucena said:

Oct 16, 2023 20:22:05 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

I'm sure I have failed at times to not put more on my dad in terms of my grandma. I also never saw myself here either. I signed her out of the hospital, I signed her into hospice, signed that DNR, signed for the medicines, signed at the funeral home and to be the estate executor. I always thought this stuff would be on my dad.

I'm trying but I know I have failed at times.

Fwiw, you're not in the same universe as the folks piling on Mister. You've gone above and beyond. And I'm sure you recognize your dad's grief.

If that is what wvugurl26’s post was about, I wholeheartedly agree.

wvugurl26 you actually DID a LOT to be there for your Grandmother at the end of her life, and deal with her estate. 

The way you have handled yourself with the stuff regarding your Grandmother, from trying to love and tend to her and be present as much as you could, to handling business for her while she was alive and after she was gone, is not at all in the same category as the people I am fussing about. 

You DID things regarding your Grandmother, to be there for her while she was alive, and later, to handle her estate. You are NOT even close to the kind of people I am talking about in my posts.

I sincerely apologize if me fussing about Mister’s folks triggered you or whatever, and made you feel like maybe you didn’t do enough (you did way more than enough) or like I was judging you or anybody else in similar situations that are doing the best they can. I am only judging people that just sit on their ass and wring  their hands, while expecting or demanding that other people handle everything. I also judge those people when they make it clear that they couldn’t care less about the people that are handling business, even while dealing with all the emotions of dealing with somebody they love very much being terminally ill, close to dying, and/or actually dying. 

When I have to step up and do whatever needs to be done, I hope I can come through with as much grace and fortitude as your posts say you have had. 

[weltz]

Oct 16, 2023 19:15:28 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Oct 16, 2023 18:54:03 GMT -5 weltz said:

Involuntary commitment would be best, but then he'd come home. Mel can't make him take his meds. He's not Sushi.

I know one couple that she had a problem child, not as bad as Jordan but bad
They moved and left him behind

Seriously? What happened to him? Any idea?

[jerseygirl]

Oct 16, 2023 21:25:48 GMT -5 weltz said:

Oct 16, 2023 19:15:28 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I know one couple that she had a problem child, not as bad as Jordan but bad
They moved and left him behind

Seriously? What happened to him? Any idea?

No don’t know what happened to the ‘child’
But our friends had some measure of peace but always a nagging guilt
No good answer to awful situation

[weltz]

Oct 16, 2023 20:42:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

Oct 16, 2023 18:25:10 GMT -5 weltz said:

I figured people didn't see it. 

How old is jordan?

Eighteen.

[busymom]

Sadly, it's hard to "fix" a man, Pink Cashmere.  My Dad was that way.  My Mom was worried about all of the snacks he would buy on his way home from work, stuff like packaged sweet rolls.  She would say something about it from time to time, but he would say he was going to do what he wanted to.  That is, until he started getting chest pains, ended up getting bypass surgery that almost killed him (complications) and he got so heavy that he ended up with Type 2 diabetes.  I think it was the combination of open heart surgery, and constantly having to prick his fingers to check his blood sugar, that he FINALLY had an "aha" moment, and actively worked at watching what he was eating.

I wish my BIL would have that same "aha" moment.  I think he just might kill himself with his great love of food, above all other things. And he has eaten himself into a bigger size than my Dad was at his worst.   

[Pink Cashmere]

We ended up picking Boy up close to the time the vet closes. Which wasn’t their fault, the vet himself had actually called early this afternoon,  what Mister gave them again as my phone number this morning, except it was actually YD’s phone number. My phone number is weird, to the point that if someone doesn’t get the last few digits, even after all these years, I have to start over from the beginning, to get it right lol. YD’s number is similar to mine, with the same digits, so I understand how Mister got them mixed up this morning.

So when we talked to the vet when we went to pick Boy up, he was talking about how Boy clearly has allergies, which we already knew. Me being me, and of little patience, I said yes, we know that, that is why we brought him in a few months ago. At the time, we got him that expensive ass $100 shot that was recommended, but it did not help him at all, so we are open to other, hopefully less expensive, options. And yes, I said it just like that.

They could not find any glass in Boy’s paw either. So they gave him some antibiotics and some steroids that they said should help with his reactions to allergies too. Me still being me, I had questions about the steroids themselves. 

They probably hope Mister is always the one to bring the dogs to see them, because I ask too many questions lol.

But anyway, Boy is resting on the sofa in the den, they said they didn’t see any glass embedded in his paw.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I had a bad day at work.
There three separate negative issues.
One is not even negative—I’m just oversensitive.
One is very frustrating but it’s beyond my level of influence.
The third is at minimum going to ruin our professional relationship and at worst cause me to resign to preserve my integrity.

I hope tomorrow is better.

[toomuchreality]

Oct 16, 2023 19:53:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Gwen made honors orchestra. She competed with students from all over the stat and was awarded one of 13 cello seats.

So proud!

Congrats!

[toomuchreality]

Oct 16, 2023 22:50:48 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I had a bad day at work.
There three separate negative issues.
One is not even negative—I’m just oversensitive.
One is very frustrating but it’s beyond my level of influence.
The third is at minimum going to ruin our professional relationship and at worst cause me to resign to preserve my integrity.

I hope tomorrow is better.

I really hope things improve quickly, for you.

[finnime]

Good morning, warrior invisipeeps, fighting the good fight. Welcome to Tuesday. I hope this day offers to you problems solved and prevents other problems, and your own peeps are easy to be with.

I'm so sorry, weltz. I know more than I should about out of control people with mental health issues. It's an ugly draining slog with no real answers except good psychiatric care for everyone. I hope Jordan, Melanie and Simon can get the support they need.

Really glad Boy is okay, Pink Cashmere. I think I understand Mister a little--with so much on his plate he probably feels rebelliously justified in treating himself to junk food. Men.

For all of you with allergies, my sympathies. I know many people confuse goldenrod for ragweed, but ragweed is really punishing. Zyrtec helps, and Flonase. Benadryl if you're going to sleep.

I got my first agent rejection, so I'm on a roll. I expect a lot of rejections and have told myself it's all the process and I am making progress. Going to work on my next book in the meantime.

We are at a cabin in New Hampshire at the end of the Kanc, the Kancamagus Highway. It was rainy yesterday although it didn't full on pour. Nonetheless we saw some gorgeous foliage. Going back today to grab pics. The White Mountains here are beautiful. The Kanc was not so crowded that we couldn't move freely, a blessing. Today we'll stop south of here in the lakes region, too, where I used to summer with my siblings and our respective families. Grateful for this little trip. DH actually walked a mile yesterday, to and from a waterfall.

It was cloudy and rainy yesterday before we left, too. I did get a good picture of the dawning sun under the rain clouds:

[wvugurl26]

My comments were not due to pink's comments and putting myself in that bucket. Just my thoughts on trying as the younger person in the situation. I try hard to be cognizant that my dad and his brother lost their mother, their last surviving parent. And that my uncle lost his wife of over 50 years 11 months before losing his mother. But some days the things my uncle does while trying to be "helpful" tests my nerves.

I'm very ready to be done with this estate business. I've got one last stock holding being a pain in my butt then I can close probate.

[taz157]

My desk is a mess. I have piles everywhere. I have a meeting on Friday with my boss, boss’s boss, and a new guy in another department regarding a tax matter that I’m preparing for. It’s only a 30 minute meeting but I want to be prepared to discuss part of it tomorrow with my boss so that I can gather missing info before Friday’s meeting. I had thoughts of taking off Friday as DD1 has no school and she’ll be spending the night at a friend’s house on Thursday night but can’t take off because of Friday’s meeting. Oh well!

Time to get back to work. I have classical music on so that I have some noise but nothing with words that will distract me. 🙂

[chiver78]

it's rainy and gross again today, ugh. so not conducive to getting my butt in gear. good thing there's coffee! 

I was scrolling my FB memories earlier, and had a big smile on my face. 8y ago today, M posted a link to my wall with "does Punk want a playmate?" and it was the rescue's post of LD being returned, complete with a bunch of puppy pics. 

[Cookies Galore]

Oct 17, 2023 8:03:26 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

it's rainy and gross again today, ugh. so not conducive to getting my butt in gear. good thing there's coffee! 

I was scrolling my FB memories earlier, and had a big smile on my face. 8y ago today, M posted a link to my wall with "does Punk want a playmate?" and it was the rescue's post of LD being returned, complete with a bunch of puppy pics. 

Aww, that's a sweet memory.
I have something similar that pops up in my memories. A year and a half after we adopted our first tripod cat from a friend who fosters, she took in another cat that had an amputated leg. I fell for his silly face but my husband was adamant that we don't get another cat. I shared a post about him and said "won't someone adopt Dudley so I can play with him?!" and a month later my friend was knocking on the door with him in a carrier. My husband surprise adopted him for my birthday. I manifested a cat! Lol

[giramomma]

Oct 16, 2023 22:50:48 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I had a bad day at work.
There three separate negative issues.
One is not even negative—I’m just oversensitive.
One is very frustrating but it’s beyond my level of influence.
The third is at minimum going to ruin our professional relationship and at worst cause me to resign to preserve my integrity.

I hope tomorrow is better.

I am sorry you are in this situation. Fingers crossed things go better for you today.

[taz157]

Oct 16, 2023 22:50:48 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I had a bad day at work.
There three separate negative issues.
One is not even negative—I’m just oversensitive.
One is very frustrating but it’s beyond my level of influence.
The third is at minimum going to ruin our professional relationship and at worst cause me to resign to preserve my integrity.

I hope tomorrow is better.

I hope your day is better today. I hope your professional relationship isn’t ruined and you don’t need to resign. ((((Hugs))))

[soupandstew]

Pink Cashmere  I'm so glad Boy didn't have a critical injury or embedded glass-with the antibiotics and steroids he should be back to usual self in short order

[countrygirl2]

What beautiful pictures finnime, you could likely publish a book of those gorgeous pictures.

We are up and ready to go. Hubs said DD was up at 4 taking a bath?? She isn't going but she does that sometimes.

I gave her, her pills and fed her plus cleaned her teeth once. This afternoon she is getting them cleaned and they always need brushed, so will again before we go. It's been almost a year and we do it every 6 months. I couldn't get through to the office in the city plus the billing issue, so we are now out of there and local.

No info on whether the cancer is in bone. We meet with the surgeon Friday so maybe find out more.

[raeoflyte]

Oct 17, 2023 8:47:01 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Oct 16, 2023 22:50:48 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

I had a bad day at work.
There three separate negative issues.
One is not even negative—I’m just oversensitive.
One is very frustrating but it’s beyond my level of influence.
The third is at minimum going to ruin our professional relationship and at worst cause me to resign to preserve my integrity.

I hope tomorrow is better.

I am sorry you are in this situation. Fingers crossed things go better for you today.

Ditto

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 16, 2023 21:36:23 GMT -5 busymom said:

Sadly, it's hard to "fix" a man, Pink Cashmere .  My Dad was that way.  My Mom was worried about all of the snacks he would buy on his way home from work, stuff like packaged sweet rolls.  She would say something about it from time to time, but he would say he was going to do what he wanted to.  That is, until he started getting chest pains, ended up getting bypass surgery that almost killed him (complications) and he got so heavy that he ended up with Type 2 diabetes.  I think it was the combination of open heart surgery, and constantly having to prick his fingers to check his blood sugar, that he FINALLY had an "aha" moment, and actively worked at watching what he was eating.

I wish my BIL would have that same "aha" moment.  I think he just might kill himself with his great love of food, above all other things. And he has eaten himself into a bigger size than my Dad was at his worst.   

The main thing is that I don’t want to waste my time and money trying to provide better options for him. So I’ll just stop lol.

The other thing is how much he complains about gaining weight. All day, every day. Yeah, stuff like eating a whole package of cookies by yourself, in one day, will do that. The constant complaining is starting to get on my nerves.

Food has always been a big deal in his family. They talk about food more than anyone I’ve ever been around. Seriously. It took some getting use to. And his Dad was the only one that wasn’t overweight, but he talked about food all the time too. I like good food myself, but I guess food means something different to them, than it does to me.

[andi9899]

Oct 16, 2023 19:53:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Gwen made honors orchestra. She competed with students from all over the stat and was awarded one of 13 cello seats.

So proud!

Yay Gwen!

[Pink Cashmere]

Really glad Boy is okay, Pink Cashmere. I think I understand Mister a little--with so much on his plate he probably feels rebelliously justified in treating himself to junk food. Men.

Thank you finnime . Boy is still limping, but it is a relief to know there’s nothing terribly wrong. Mister has always eaten a lot of junk food. But I do think the reason he is eating even more now is because he is stress eating. He also gets the urge to blow money when he is really stressed. Amazon Prime Day was a real struggle for him. He had to reign himself in, and as far as I know, he only bought a few things.

[swamp]

Oct 16, 2023 18:54:03 GMT -5 weltz said:

Oct 16, 2023 18:31:10 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

I wanted to like the pool
But awful about Jordan. Always thinking other countries somehow manage mental problems better than US. Guess not, so sorry
Thinking mental hospitals would be best safest place for them and society. ODS is physician and he says do you want ‘us’ to have power to incarcerate anyone? What are limits? Guidelines??
All I know is it’s not working now

Involuntary commitment would be best, but then he'd come home. Mel can't make him take his meds. He's not Sushi.

Since he's 18, can Mel refuse to let him stay?    He's an adult.  

[bean29]

Oct 16, 2023 18:31:10 GMT -5 jerseygirl said:

Oct 16, 2023 18:25:10 GMT -5 weltz said:

I figured people didn't see it. 

I wanted to like the pool
But awful about Jordan. Always thinking other countries somehow manage mental problems better than US. Guess not, so sorry
Thinking mental hospitals would be best safest place for them and society. ODS is physician and he says do you want ‘us’ to have power to incarcerate anyone? What are limits? Guidelines??
All I know is it’s not working now

Wisconsin was a leader in changing Mental Health Commitment laws, now nearly every state in the US has adopted the same law.  There is what they call a fifth standard in most laws...If Someone is a Danger to themselves or others, they can be held against their will.  Mostly they will just hold them for 3 days though.  I really feel they do this so they no longer have to pay for Medical Care and housing for Mentally Ill individuals, and it is why the Mentally Ill commonly end up homeless.  Milwaukee County in WI was under court order to provide adequate care to the Mentally Ill population for over 30 years.  They just continued to violate the order year after year.  Before the ACA laws, most insurance limited the amount they would pay out for Mental health care pretty severely.  They had a lifetime limit on Mental Health Care services.  After the ACA went into effect, things got a bit better, but not a whole lot.  Indiginet people don't tend to have health insurance coverage.

There is a book I want to read by a reporter who covered mental health issues for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel for years.  It was just released in September.  While you were out by Meg Kissenger. thedepauw.com/while-you-were-out-meg-kissinger-79-on-mental-illness-family-and-her-debut-memoir/  She is a graduate of Depauw University, so the link is to a school newspaper/school press release.

Prayers for your son and his SO. 

[andi9899]

Oct 16, 2023 20:52:27 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am irritated with Mister again…. Surprise! NOT!

But this time, it’s not because of a serious issue regarding our relationship or whatever. 

This time I am irritated because I have been trying to get back on track with our diet and eating healthier meals as often as possible. Yesterday, he bought a family size package of cookies and ate them all day, even as he was complaining about the weight he has gained. When he fixed a bowl of chili to eat after it was finally done, he also got a few more cookies, that he ate while he was waiting for his chili to cook enough to eat.

I’ve been making salad dressing consistently for a couple weeks now, but he bought some blue cheese dressing when he bought the cookies. I didn’t fuss, but truth be told, I was mildly irritated, because he says he is on board with us making as much of our own stuff as we can, to try to avoid unnecessary and potentially harmful ingredients, so why not at least ask me to look into making blue cheese dressing, if that’s what he wanted. Never mind that he didn’t notice that the salad greens are gone, so there’s nothing for him to put his dressing on anyway.

Today, I got a little irritated again while he was at work, because he was buying snacks out of the vending machines at work, and talking about going to the gas stations near his job, to get something to eat. None of which would’ve been necessary because he was starving, if he’d taken his lunch from home. Even when I put lunch for him in containers in the refrigerator the night before, even when I’m positive it’s something he likes, he “forgets” it more often than not and ends up snacking on junk food and buying something to eat during his work day. 

Part of the reason it all bugs me so much is because he whines so much about his weight, but doesn’t take advantage of the things I’ve been doing to improve our diet. It reminds me of what happened soon after we moved here, when he actually lost 11lbs the first month we live here, because I was doing the shopping and meal planning, and preparing his lunches for the next day, but when his daughters were here every day after the first month, my money and my efforts to feed my household were wasted, because nobody would eat the meals I was preparing, but me. I wasn’t cooking anything weird, it was just “clean” foods, more than it was processed or fried foods. His daughters wanted nothing to do with that kind of diet, and he ate what they wanted, regardless of the meal I’d prepared. Which is one of the reasons I stopped trying to provide food for my household. 

But now I’m trying to get back to eating that way, and like I just told Mister, I’m not going to waste my money and time trying to have enough for him too, since he’s clearly just giving lip service to the things he says he wants to change regarding his weight and eating habits. I will just do my own thing, and just make sure I have enough for me and how I want to get back to eating. Which means I’m close to done listening to the complaints about weight and shit, if you’re gonna keep eating cookies and junk food all day, instead of eating better food that is readily available. Eat what you want, but don’t whine and complain to me about your weight and how you keep gaining more, if you aren’t willing to take advantage of the healthier options in our kitchen vs the junk food you eat all day, every day. And don’t get mad when I only buy and prepare enough for me, because I don’t want to keep wasting my money and time, preparing more than what I need, trying to feed somebody else that lets it go to waste because they prefer other stuff.

And for the record, even when I was raising my children, if I prepared a meal that didn’t even taste good to me, I’d say we aren’t eating that, and usually go buy something to eat instead. So I’m not trying to make anybody eat some nasty food. And even if it’s okay to me, but not so much to other members of my household, I’ve always made it clear that I don’t consider myself to be such a great cook that people can’t tell me they don’t like something I prepared for them to eat. PLEASE tell me, so I can try to figure out how to fix it, or just know not to try to feed you that particular thing anymore. That does NOT hurt my feelings at all lol. So just tell me, so I can figure out something else.

All you can really do is feed yourself and let him do his thing. I can see both sides of this issue. Prior to 7 years ago, I was him. I complained about my weight and did nothing about it. Just complaining didn't get me anywhere. Didn't stop me from complaining but doing nothing. The fact that I was raised on fatty processed foods didn't help.

One day I just decided that I was tired of living that way and needed to actually do something. I committed to eating better and getting active. Now I'm you in that I want to live a healthy lifestyle. Last week was the first time I took an entire week off from the gym in that entire 7 years. I was moving the whole time, so I didn't really take a week off, I just worked out in a different way.

All that to say that worrying about him doing something he clearly doesn't want to is going to do nothing but make you mad. He has to want to do it. His parents lived an unhealthy lifestyle and died pretty early. Until that hits him, he's not going to change. Save your breath and keep your blood pressure low. You have enough going on right now.

[andi9899]

Oct 16, 2023 21:51:01 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

We ended up picking Boy up close to the time the vet closes. Which wasn’t their fault, the vet himself had actually called early this afternoon,  what Mister gave them again as my phone number this morning, except it was actually YD’s phone number. My phone number is weird, to the point that if someone doesn’t get the last few digits, even after all these years, I have to start over from the beginning, to get it right lol. YD’s number is similar to mine, with the same digits, so I understand how Mister got them mixed up this morning.

So when we talked to the vet when we went to pick Boy up, he was talking about how Boy clearly has allergies, which we already knew. Me being me, and of little patience, I said yes, we know that, that is why we brought him in a few months ago. At the time, we got him that expensive ass $100 shot that was recommended, but it did not help him at all, so we are open to other, hopefully less expensive, options. And yes, I said it just like that.

They could not find any glass in Boy’s paw either. So they gave him some antibiotics and some steroids that they said should help with his reactions to allergies too. Me still being me, I had questions about the steroids themselves. 

They probably hope Mister is always the one to bring the dogs to see them, because I ask too many questions lol.

But anyway, Boy is resting on the sofa in the den, they said they didn’t see any glass embedded in his paw.

My vet recommended this for Luna. She has skin allergies too. After the coconut oil fail, I was asking about a better solution. I haven't bought it yet since I've been busy, but I can report back when I get it.

www.chewy.com/dermoscent-essential-6-spot-on-large/dp/167767

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 16, 2023 20:03:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Oct 16, 2023 18:13:31 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Ragweed is literally off the charts here so the windshield is covered in pollen which turns to yellow mud when you use the washer thingy.  Houston is one giant sneezing, coughing, nose-blowing mass of humanity right now.  And we have strep, RSV, and Covid going around too so you don't know if the person in line at Aldi has something bad or just allergies.

I recently saw a post on FB where someone was asking what was causing all the horrible allergy issues lately, and many of the replies said ragweed. 

Then someone posted a picture of it, and it was literally what DS was pointing to when he asked me if I can identify stuff when we were walking on the trail a couple weeks ago. The answer to his question was and still is “no” lol.

Yeah, TD did some googling and suggested it might be ragweed.  All I know is that it makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out.  The eye drops that I’m using to minimize the itch make my vision cloudy, as they are viscous.  

Last night’s thunderstorm seemed to have washed everything down.  No eye drops in either last night or this morning, no sneezing.  I’m ok with gullywashers like we had yesterday until frost (when it seems to stop).

[giramomma]

Oct 17, 2023 11:01:57 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

All you can really do is feed yourself and let him do his thing. I can see both sides of this issue. Prior to 7 years ago, I was him. I complained about my weight and did nothing about it. Just complaining didn't get me anywhere. Didn't stop me from complaining but doing nothing. The fact that I was raised on fatty processed foods didn't help.

One day I just decided that I was tired of living that way and needed to actually do something. I committed to eating better and getting active. Now I'm you in that I want to live a healthy lifestyle. Last week was the first time I took an entire week off from the gym in that entire 7 years. I was moving the whole time, so I didn't really take a week off, I just worked out in a different way.

All that to say that worrying about him doing something he clearly doesn't want to is going to do nothing but make you mad. He has to want to do it. His parents lived an unhealthy lifestyle and died pretty early. Until that hits him, he's not going to change. Save your breath and keep your blood pressure low. You have enough going on right now.

And, I think that it's OK to be like "dude, you wore out your fussing with me."

DH won't tell me when he's tired of hearing about work; in part he knows I need a safe place to vent. And I'm learning how to be self aware enough that I know when need to stop.

Otherwise, like Andi, I can see both sides, too. I haven't been as successful as her. But, I do keep trying and acknowledge that I am human doing the best I can.