what are you doing right now?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 11, 2023 8:53:12 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Man! My flight got delayed again. I didn't have to get up at 5:30 this morning. I could have slept longer.

I just received our third flight change for a flight we have in Jan.  This one's not making me happy as I think we are going to be tight getting through customs.

[cooper88]

We saw a fox at the wildlife refuge!

[swamp]

Oct 11, 2023 10:52:30 GMT -5 weltz said:

My friend has passes to a health club with a warm, saltwater pool. We're going at 2;30. Sounds good.

I want to go 

[swamp]

Oct 11, 2023 10:10:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We found out GU had been supported his entire life by my grandmother.  We were shocked at how much money she gave him.  I'm confused because I told dad I can roughly estimate what grandpa made and I cannot fathom how she was giving GU up to $30k a year.  I know she saved but the math just does not add up. 

I've mused that maybe that is part of why he just. . .broke.   This was not something grandma could bail him out of.  She couldn't save him from himself this time and he didn't have the ability to save himself. 

That's what really bothers me about it all.  He could have lived a perfectly fine life at home and still going to church if he had just followed the instructions the blind society gave him.

It's messed up when you allow yourself and someone allows you to get that co-dependent.  It's even more messed up when the expectation is that your son will continue the co-dependency.

Mister's brother is still young enough to pull his head out of his ass and become an adult.  If he doesn't then he can figure out how to live on the dole.   Mister should not be expected to take over where their parents' left off.  That was their choice to enable their son.

Is GU the guy that ran the pizza shop your dad now runs? 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Oct 11, 2023 13:50:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

Oct 11, 2023 10:10:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We found out GU had been supported his entire life by my grandmother.  We were shocked at how much money she gave him.  I'm confused because I told dad I can roughly estimate what grandpa made and I cannot fathom how she was giving GU up to $30k a year.  I know she saved but the math just does not add up. 

I've mused that maybe that is part of why he just. . .broke.   This was not something grandma could bail him out of.  She couldn't save him from himself this time and he didn't have the ability to save himself. 

That's what really bothers me about it all.  He could have lived a perfectly fine life at home and still going to church if he had just followed the instructions the blind society gave him.

It's messed up when you allow yourself and someone allows you to get that co-dependent.  It's even more messed up when the expectation is that your son will continue the co-dependency.

Mister's brother is still young enough to pull his head out of his ass and become an adult.  If he doesn't then he can figure out how to live on the dole.   Mister should not be expected to take over where their parents' left off.  That was their choice to enable their son.

Is GU the guy that ran the pizza shop your dad now runs? 

Yeah.  That is part of what has blown our minds.   The original ran from 1971 to 2014. It makes our brains hurt because it obviously takes skill and knowledge to be able to run a business for that long.  But then to turn around and have no money whatsoever after all that time?    My dad was absolutely gobsmacked when he started going through both their finances.

The personal life I get.  He never moved out, he lived with Great Grandma until she died.  Kinda like Robert in Everybody Loves Raymond.

 Dad thinks that did a number on him.  When GG died then he transferred all of that onto his sister.  When grandma could no longer care for him he tried to transfer that dependency to my dad and my dad drew the line.

[andi9899]

Oct 11, 2023 13:14:06 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oct 11, 2023 8:53:12 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Man! My flight got delayed again. I didn't have to get up at 5:30 this morning. I could have slept longer.

I just received our third flight change for a flight we have in Jan.  This one's not making me happy as I think we are going to be tight getting through customs.

I finally landed! 2.5 hours late. The day will be almost over before I get to the office. It's a 45 minute drive to the hotel.

[andi9899]

Oct 11, 2023 13:58:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Oct 11, 2023 13:50:38 GMT -5 swamp said:

Is GU the guy that ran the pizza shop your dad now runs? 

Yeah.  That is part of what has blown our minds.   The original ran from 1971 to 2014. It makes our brains hurt because it obviously takes skill and knowledge to be able to run a business for that long.  But then to turn around and have no money whatsoever after all that time?    My dad was absolutely gobsmacked when he started going through both their finances.

The personal life I get.  He never moved out, he lived with Great Grandma until she died.  Kinda like Robert in Everybody Loves Raymond.

 Dad thinks that did a number on him.  When GG died then he transferred all of that onto his sister.  When grandma could no longer care for him he tried to transfer that dependency to my dad and my dad drew the line.

That's sad. I've made it clear that I'm not taking over my sister when my parents die or can't live alone anymore. Either she takes over the caretaking with help from me in exchange for a place to stay or she moves out on her own. Likely both of her kids will be launched by then.

[chiver78]

Oct 11, 2023 14:37:33 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Oct 11, 2023 13:58:37 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Yeah.  That is part of what has blown our minds.   The original ran from 1971 to 2014. It makes our brains hurt because it obviously takes skill and knowledge to be able to run a business for that long.  But then to turn around and have no money whatsoever after all that time?    My dad was absolutely gobsmacked when he started going through both their finances.

The personal life I get.  He never moved out, he lived with Great Grandma until she died.  Kinda like Robert in Everybody Loves Raymond.

 Dad thinks that did a number on him.  When GG died then he transferred all of that onto his sister.  When grandma could no longer care for him he tried to transfer that dependency to my dad and my dad drew the line.

That's sad. I've made it clear that I'm not taking over my sister when my parents die or can't live alone anymore. Either she takes over the caretaking with help from me in exchange for a place to stay or she moves out on her own. Likely both of her kids will be launched by then.

how have your parents managed to raise grandchildren that are ready to launch, but not your sister? wow! my sister and I were both like you - get out as soon as possible and launch. yes, I moved back home for a little while at 25 or 26, but it was a strategic thing and I got out real quick. I'd been travelling most of my time for work, and it made more $ sense for me to store my shit there and travel. 

[Artemis Windsong]

My big issue is suddenly receding hairline.  I vacationed in a very hard water place.  Someone said the water wasn't as salty.  Maybe it was treated and created the issue.  I do know our city water changes the chemicals this time of year causing all kinds of skin issues.  My GrSIL sells a cream for bed sores than is a multi purpose ointment,  I'll see how much that costs.  It works great for my DIL's dermatitis.   GrSIL invested a lot of money into the man creating and selling the cream.  My son thinks this was done on a hand shake.  

The insurance policy we have will no longer be offered in 2024.  We love the insurance we have now as we have free gyms and quarterly $50 in OTC non med items. As well as reimbursed for eye exams and dental exams.  IDK how long it was before we got on board with the eye and dental reimbursement.  I accidentally paid for my eye exam instead of having them request it.  IDK if I will get reimbursed or not.  I did submit for glasses that I do need a script for now.

 

[chiver78]

I've swapped out the beach coverup for a hoodie, pajamas and fuzzy slippers. boo. I hate this. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Wondering if the rules "NO promotions or spam"  needs to be clearer on a FB group.  

Lemme give you a hint, if you post a doctor's promotional literature, it's going to get deleted.  Do it twice, you'll get tossed.

[raeoflyte]

My license approval came through yesterday and the new company where my LO went finally took the time to talk to me. I'm taking on a few more expenses than I was originally expecting but that helps a bit that I hold firm when that LO asked me how much I was going to charge and he threw out a # $200 less than the last time we spoke. No thank you. And frankly at this point at least they need me. My fee is fair. I'll certainly revisit if needed but not right now.

[countrygirl2]

My son is looking at Kaiser in Washington for insurance. Anyone know if its good? He said right now he is paying over $700 a month for BC BS and still pays a ton for deductible. The premiums are way lower. He is thinking of choosing it this year.

[CCL]

Oct 11, 2023 16:41:42 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

My son is looking at Kaiser in Washington for insurance. Anyone know if its good? He said right now he is paying over $700 a month for BC BS and still pays a ton for deductible. The premiums are way lower. He is thinking of choosing it this year.

Is that an HMO? If so, wouldn't that be a problem when he's working out-of-state?

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 11, 2023 9:37:14 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Oct 10, 2023 22:40:38 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Omg, it does my spirit good when you say stuff like this. 

But if I go see Mister’s brother, Imma want him to know it’s me that has a problem with him and why I showed up. 

The way he has been acting lately, I’ve been questioning how he functioned as a whole adult when he was making all the money he use to make. And talking to Mister this evening, their Mom managed his money for him, even when he was married. Which made sense when Mister said it, because when he said that, I remembered that when we were going through her stuff trying to find info after she died, a lot of her stuff was financial records for Mister’s brother. So he really is clueless.

But I still get angry when he uses the excuse with Mister, his brother born from the same parents as him, that he can’t handle even simple tasks, because of his grief, as if his grief is greater or more important than Mister’s. 

And when I said to Mister that I have a problem with that, because he is a man just like Mister is, and not in his early 20’s or something where youth could maybe be an excuse for not being the kind of man Mister believes men should be, Mister said “I’m going outside” and left the room.

I know mister might really want to help his brother, but the question is - When does it end?  Is Mister going to support him all the way until retirement?  He will most certainly want to help his daughters and his Son at times in the future, and given our discussion on longlevity - he could easily live until late 80's Mid 90's, so he needs to worry about his own financial future.  DH and I have a number of family members that are trainwrecks or living on the edge of poverty.  We can not fix all their problems and have a solid footing for our retirement years. Still it is not easy to say no.  I have been harping on my DH of late though.

Mister first started trying to set something up with his brother for them to sit down and talk about a week after their Dad died. Brother was not cooperating, so Mister let it go. It was during that time that he made the spreadsheet and called his brother and told him he was handing everything over to him, and sent him the spreadsheet.

Last week, he started calling and texting his brother again, so they could sit down and talk, which is what led to my rant last night, when he finally responded, it was with the same old excuses.

Mister is just trying to give him information and tell him what he needs to figure out. Mister isn’t trying to give him any money. For instance, Brother is still driving their Dad’s car, how does that work since the loan for the car is in their Dad’s name, even if Brother manages to make the payments. And is the insurance even valid anymore, since their Dad is still the “owner” of the car, but deceased? That matters especially because he seems to be accident prone…. their Dad bought the darn car last year because Brother, wrecked their Mom AND their Dad’s paid off cars. Same thing with the mortgage and the insurance on the house. Those are the kind of things Mister wants to make sure his brother knows he needs to figure out, since Brother is the one driving the car and living in the house and he is the one one that actually needs a vehicle and a place to lay his head.

Mister int trying to figure any of it out himself, or pay any of the bills, he just wants to make sure his brother understands why HE needs to address it all. But I guess none of it will matter anyway if Brother doesn’t pay the mortgage and the loan in the car.

[countrygirl2]

I will check if that is an HMO, some reason it costs a lot less.

DD had botox injections all over her head today. They said about a week before it helps but she said it felt better to her already, who knows??

The neurologist prescribed her some med, she said it was super expensive and she didn't know if medicaid would pay for it. I don't know what she considers super expensive. But Cigna called just a bit ago and approved it, it was just submitted a few hours ago.  These are the kinds of things I have to check in Washington as she has traditional medicaid here. Quite a few of her scrips are very expensive and they are approving brand name, but I'm assuming that is only because there is no generic equivalent.

[jerseygirl]

WSJ had an article on Kaiser and it was very positive
Kaiser has own hospitals and doctors but if he’s not in area with Kaiser they have ‘emergency’ provisions for using other physicians and hospitals

[weltz]

Oct 11, 2023 13:49:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

Oct 11, 2023 10:52:30 GMT -5 weltz said:

My friend has passes to a health club with a warm, saltwater pool. We're going at 2;30. Sounds good.

I want to go 

It was glorious!  Beautifully warm and a bit salty. We were the only ones there.  It was perfect.

[weltz]

Oct 11, 2023 16:41:42 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

My son is looking at Kaiser in Washington for insurance. Anyone know if its good? He said right now he is paying over $700 a month for BC BS and still pays a ton for deductible. The premiums are way lower. He is thinking of choosing it this year.

Doesn't the military provide health indurance?

[weltz]

I was just watching the news.  They interviewed a doctor who said the old Covid tests are good for TWO YEARS after the date on the box, if they're stored in s cool, dry place.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 11, 2023 16:41:42 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

My son is looking at Kaiser in Washington for insurance. Anyone know if it’s good? He said right now he is paying over $700 a month for BC BS and still pays a ton for deductible. The premiums are way lower. He is thinking of choosing it this year.

Avoid at all costs in WA.

[cooper88]

My sister in Honolulu has Kaiser and swears they are trying to kill her. However, she says it doesn't really matter who she has because there is such a shortage of providers. I offered to send her a copy of my BCBS card to see if that helps.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Oct 11, 2023 17:18:34 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I will check if that is an HMO, some reason it costs a lot less.

DD had botox injections all over her head today. They said about a week before it helps but she said it felt better to her already, who knows??

The neurologist prescribed her some med, she said it was super expensive and she didn't know if medicaid would pay for it. I don't know what she considers super expensive. But Cigna called just a bit ago and approved it, it was just submitted a few hours ago.  These are the kinds of things I have to check in Washington as she has traditional medicaid here. Quite a few of her scrips are very expensive and they are approving brand name, but I'm assuming that is only because there is no generic equivalent.

It is an HMO.  

[countrygirl2]

Walk why do you say that? Lack of providers? 

Son works for DOD, he is no longer in the military and is looking at various plans to choose from as they can sign up for new ones once a year and enrollment is coming up.

I am really going to have to dig into all this for hubs and I and for DD before we move and don't make a mistake. We have good plans here and are able to get into docs here.

I dropped by DD and mine this afternoon and requested a couple of scrips. She approved and they are ready.
We seem to have some really good ones here and are even having another medical building going up at our small town hospital. We have dialysis now, a separate docs office building, well 2 now and its growing.

[jerseygirl]

DIL goes to a Kaiser in CA near Bay Area. She is very enthusiastic about a team Kaiser put together to help her. She feels she’s getting better care there than at UCLA or at good hospitals in NJ

[CCL]

Oct 11, 2023 18:33:26 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Oct 11, 2023 17:18:34 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I will check if that is an HMO, some reason it costs a lot less.

DD had botox injections all over her head today. They said about a week before it helps but she said it felt better to her already, who knows??

The neurologist prescribed her some med, she said it was super expensive and she didn't know if medicaid would pay for it. I don't know what she considers super expensive. But Cigna called just a bit ago and approved it, it was just submitted a few hours ago.  These are the kinds of things I have to check in Washington as she has traditional medicaid here. Quite a few of her scrips are very expensive and they are approving brand name, but I'm assuming that is only because there is no generic equivalent.

It is an HMO.  

That's what I thought, but not in the area to know for sure.

[weltz]

I'm making stuffing for the turkey I'll cook tomorrow. I'll use a boxed mix, but I'm adding fried onions in bacon, mushrooms, garlic, potato bread cubes, egg, broth, hot chorizo sausage, parsley, and I don't know what else.
Should be good.

[steph08]

There are so many federal government health plans.

My brother uses the mid-range BCBS and is happy with that. We opted for one of the Aetna HDHPs, it is the MHSP or something like that - it stands for Mail Handlers but anyone can get it.

Of course, my daughter severely broke her arm this year and required two ER visits and a stay at Children's Hospital, so we met our $4k deductible. But the government puts $200 a month into the HSA as well, so it is basically the same amount paid as if we had picked BCBS with the higher monthly premiums.

Edited to add - however, my brother is in Colorado and I'm in Pennsylvania.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Since we were speaking of brother's and inheritance mine mentioned if there is anything left of GUs estate he's hoping he'd get some.

Umm..what? Big fat IF there were to be anything the lion's share would go to my dad to reimburse him.

Followed by me so I'm reimbursed for all the time I've invested.

He hasn't done anything to help with either GU or grandma.

It'll likely all go to Iowa as grandma is his closest relative. Unless GU has a love child somewhere.

Or whatever family it was we had to have grandpa's funeral in Papillion for comedy out of the woodwork.

I joked to dad we should get 23&me kits for Christmas. Let's really poke the hornets nest.🤣

[CCL]

Oct 11, 2023 19:07:56 GMT -5 weltz said:

I'm making stuffing for the turkey I'll cook tomorrow. I'll use a boxed mix, but I'm adding fried onions in bacon, mushrooms, garlic, potato bread cubes, egg, broth, hot chorizo sausage, parsley, and I don't know what else.
Should be good.

That sounds like a meal all by itself. Yummy!