what are you doing right now?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Oct 3, 2023 18:27:11 GMT -5 weltz said:

My son is still a crying mess, and blaming himself for his friend's death.

Drug abuse is so hard. There was nothing he could have done differently. His friend had to want to get and STAY sober.

For himself not for others. It never works unless they want to be clean.

That doesn't mean he won't feel guilty. Maybe attend a couple Narc Anon meetings would help him come to terms

[lurkyloo]

I am sorry, Drama.  

[susana1954]

I am so sorry, Drama. You and your family have been through so much.

[giramomma]

Lots of hugs Drama. I am sorry.

[lurkyloo]

Everything fought me on the way to cello lesson.  Pizza was late arriving, babysitter’s car was blocking me in, I was blocking me in (had to take the one car because the other needs a taillight replaced), DS ran back in the house for something when I told him to get in the car, traffic was backed up to the point we could’ve walked there faster…got there at 5:49 for a 5:45 lesson for teacher to remark that we were early for the 6 pm slot that he hadn’t told us he needed to move us to    This teacher really is kind of a dick, as well as being terminally disorganized, but DS has too many issues with hold and posture for me to fix on my own.

Tl;dr I am cranky.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Neither one of them has a dang will.

My dad would automatically inherit from grandma as her only child. No probate or anything in that case in Iowa.

It'd be just like when my other grandma died it passed straight to mom.

GU had no wife or kids. Grandma is it followed by dad and so forth.

I have no clue how it works.

If the estate is $100k or under it can skip probate. If dad can he's going to just the house.

Then we have to call an estate lawyer. GU has no will stating grandma inherits.

She is not competent to close an estate so It'd fall to dad to be executor.

We don't want to get grandma ourselves in deep shit. Him dying today actually makes things more complicated in some ways.

[Opti]

Oct 3, 2023 19:25:31 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Neither one of them has a dang will.

My dad would automatically inherit from grandma as her only child. No probate or anything in that case in Iowa.

It'd be just like when my other grandma died it passed straight to mom.

GU had no wife or kids. Grandma is it followed by dad and so forth.

I have no clue how it works.

If the estate is $100k or under it can skip probate. If dad can he's going to just the house.

Then we have to call an estate lawyer. GU has no will stating grandma inherits.

She is not competent to close an estate so It'd fall to dad to be executor.

We don't want to get grandma ourselves in deep shit. Him dying today actually makes things more complicated in some ways.

Sorry his death has complicated things. Sorry for your loss and I wish strength and patience to you and your dad to get through this. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

In other news I need to learn to cook on my new stove.

I killed the meatloaf. DH said it's just like National Lampoons Christmas Vacation turkey dinner. There isn't enough ketchup in the world to save it.

So I now know how to make Jerky.

And for the love of God don't grind up turkey flavored Stoffers stuffing to use as breadcrumbs.

Holy salt and sage lick Batman.🤮

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister has been doing most of the grocery shopping for a while now. And when I did buy groceries, I was shopping sales, and only bought what was on sale for a good price. 

Last night, Mister started making a grocery list, and I told him I’d just go to the grocery store so he wouldn’t have to fool with making a order and picking it up or whatever. 

We were out of all kinds of stuff, including toilet paper. Mister is obsessed with making sure we have plenty of toilet paper, and only a certain brand, so the fact that I took the roll out of the guest bathroom and put it in our en suite bathroom last night, says a LOT about the state of our household. So I also made a Target run this morning. I didn’t order on,Ime for pickup, because since the last pandemic, for whatever reason, I couldn’t order Northern tissue online, even after it started being in stock in the store again. But even though you couldn’t order it on,ine for pickup, it was still available inside the store. Which is why I shopped in store today, for all of the household stuff we needed. Only to discover that they don’t sell Northern tissue at all anymore, so I could’ve saved myself some time and made an online order for pickup instead of walking through the store, tryingto find everything else on my list.

Then I went to the grocery store, because I no longer trust them to pick my produce and meat for me, after years of it not being a problem. I was ordering stuff for pickup, at Target and the grocery store, for a few years before the pandemic even happened. And until 2 or 3 years ago, I’d never had an issue with the produce or meat I got in my grocery orders.

Anyway, because I’ve on,y shopped sales IRT groceries for a while now, I experienced some serious sticker shock trying buy what Mister had on his list. I know people have been talking about the increased costs of groceries, and I was already aware of how expensive some things have gotten, but the increased prices still hadn’t really hit home for me because when I did buy groceries lately, it’s been only what was on sale.

When I saw the prices of someof the stuff Mister had on his list, I seriously got flustered and wayyy off track. Half the stuff on his list, I said “fuck that, I’m not paying that much for that”, because it wasn’t on sale, and the regular price was outrageous. So I mostly bailed on Mister’s list and bought what was on sale, that we use regularly. Which still wasn’t much. I only had my wallet, and for a few reasons, I don’t even usually carry cards in my wallet. I am technologically challenged, but I have become a fan of using Apple Pay on my phone when I am out and about, unless I am going somewhere that I know I need a card. Mister had sent me some money to pay for everything, through Apple Pay, but the grocery store does not take those kind of “wallet” payments. I had some cash, my total was almost $157, more than I expected. I had $155 in bills, so I was looking like a fool, counting out coins in my wallet to pay for my purchase, since I didn’t have a card to slide, and they aren’t set up for stuff like Apple Pay.

I wasn’t even embarrassed that I was digging out and counting change to try to have enough money, I was still too flustered and bent out of shape about the prices to be embarrassed.

As soon as I got in the Jeep after putting the groceries in the back, I called Mister and told him do not EVER send me to the grocery store like that, let me keep shopping the way I shop, buying what’s on sale. I went on a rant, which wasn’t really directed at him, I was just saying. A bag of potatoes, and we eat a lot of potatoes, cost 10 FREAKING DOLLARS.  I told him that in the FB gardening groups I’m in, some people say they don’t bother growing potatoes because they are cheap to buy. WHERE? Because they aren’t cheap here anymore Imo. Especially not, since we eat a lot of them.

I told Mister that my sticker shock today made me want to grow the vegetables we eat a lot of, even more. I explained that even if I buy seeds to get started, if I learn how to save seeds from what I grow, those vegetables will eventually only cost some time and effort, and not money. Then I asked him, do we have more money than time? And he said he doesn’t know, he’s never thiught about things from that perspective.

I said, well you need to think about it, because even if you feel like we have plenty of money, it still doesn’t make sense to me to pay more for stuff that we have to. So Imma need you to get on board with shopping sales and stocking our kitchen and deep freezer that way, instead of just buying random shit at random times, at full price. And people have been talking for a few years now about concerns about our food supply. If WE commit to at least learning to grow the vegetables we eat a lot of it is worth it imo, because we have more control over the chemicals we use or don’t use, vs commercial growers, and if nothing else, the things I’ve managed to grow, we’ve already learned, is a whole different world as far as taste, compared to what we are use to buying. And I guess if the world falls apart and we have learned to enough and have saved our own seeds, we might be able to at least feed ourselves enough to survive. 

So far, my desire to learn how to grow stuff was just something to do, and me wanting to be like my Grandmother. But more and more, especially after my grocery shopping today, I am starting to feel like it might be something important that I need to learn. 

I told Mister that after I got sidetracked, I bought some seasonings that we use a lot, because they were BOGO. He said, too bad you can’t grow them too. I said WHAT?! We have some herbs that we use for seasoning, growing on the deck and in the backyard. Rosemary, oregano and basil, to be exact. There is no real reason for us to buy that stuff, when it’s right outside our door, but we do. I have grown rosemary for a few years, just because I like it, and I planted the basil and oregano as companion plants this year, in an effort to help deter pests from my vegetables. 

I haven’t been serious about harvesting and drying it or whatever for future use, because everything I’ve been trying to learn and do has been a LOT. And if this is going to be a thing, I am okay with learning and figuring things out, and doing most of the work, but  Imma still need some help. So do we have more money, or more time? And even if we have plenty of money to provide a comfortable lifestyle, what is the best use of it? Does it make sense to keep spending $7 or $8 on stuff that we regularly use, but is also literally growing on our deck right outside the door to the deck, AND in our yard, less than 20 feet away from the house? I guess it depends. My point is that there are still choices to make, because even with our income, we still are nowhere near wealthy.

[finnime]

I'm sorry about your great uncle and all that it means, NomoreDramaQ1015.  

[Pink Cashmere]

Oct 3, 2023 19:31:13 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

In other news I need to learn to cook on my new stove.

I killed the meatloaf. DH said it's just like National Lampoons Christmas Vacation turkey dinner. There isn't enough ketchup in the world to save it.

So I now know how to make Jerky.

And for the love of God don't grind up turkey flavored Stoffers stuffing to use as breadcrumbs.

Holy salt and sage lick Batman.🤮

Speaking of meatloaf, Mister loves meatloaf. So even though I got all flustered in the grocery store today, I did manage to remember that I want to cook him a meatloaf tomorrow and tried to make sure I got everything I needed. 

Sorry your new stove didn’t cooperate today.

At least you have a reasonable excuse. When I mess up (which happens more often than I prefer lol) I don’t even have a good excuse. But I never claimed to be a good cook, and I’ve always been honest about how much I like to eat, but dont like to cook, so  .

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My old stove was at least as old as Gwen.

I am betting it was way off temperature wise because stuff is taking a fraction of the time.

I will need to follow the recipe exactly and use a timer till I get in the flow.

The meatloaf was so tough even the dogs didn't want it.😄

[raeoflyte]

I emailed bosses boss and offered to stay longer if he needed me too, but never heard back and my access to everything was shut off before I had even sent my last update. I managed to save a copy of the update on his shared drive before they cut that off at least.

But all that said...I'm officially done with that chapter.

And 2 weeks post op- I'm celebrating by soaking in a hot bath. I should have brought booze. Oh well.

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 3, 2023 19:06:49 GMT -5 azucena said:

A cold took me out starting on Sun and I took a second pto day today. Covid tests have been negative. Sure wish I'd feel better though. Have to work at least half day tomorrow.

Feel better

[raeoflyte]

Oct 3, 2023 20:12:21 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Oct 3, 2023 19:06:49 GMT -5 azucena said:

A cold took me out starting on Sun and I took a second pto day today. Covid tests have been negative. Sure wish I'd feel better though. Have to work at least half day tomorrow.

Feel better

Was just going to post this.

[wvugurl26]

My old stove was 22 years old. I have been very careful with baking especially to use a timer. I think overall the burners might be more powerful so I'm turning them lower than I normally would.

Potatoes aren't cheap here either. I am happy since I rearranged my pantry and can close the door that it stays cooler and potatoes last longer.

[raeoflyte]

My kids are being so cute and sweet to each other. I can't describe it. But bonding over d&d and the 3d printer and just a lot more levity than a lot of conversations.

[TheOtherMe]

Oct 3, 2023 19:25:31 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Neither one of them has a dang will.

My dad would automatically inherit from grandma as her only child. No probate or anything in that case in Iowa.

It'd be just like when my other grandma died it passed straight to mom.

GU had no wife or kids. Grandma is it followed by dad and so forth.

I have no clue how it works.

If the estate is $100k or under it can skip probate. If dad can he's going to just the house.

Then we have to call an estate lawyer. GU has no will stating grandma inherits.

She is not competent to close an estate so It'd fall to dad to be executor.

We don't want to get grandma ourselves in deep shit. Him dying today actually makes things more complicated in some ways.

I only know generalities about dying without a will in Iowa because my cousin did that and her entire estate went to her dad.  It got him kicked out of his low income senior living but he did inherit her house.  He had to make it senior friendly.

Please do call an estate lawyer so things don't go wrong when Grandma dies.  I'm sorry this happened now.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

It won't kick grandma off Medicaid. I would have to stick it in a Miller Trust. There is no way we could get this all settled before she runs out of money.

My bases are covered there.

I just think it's so dumb that Iowa can demand all her money and then on top of that potentially demand his money too because he happened to die at a handy moment for them.

And in part because both of them were too damn stubborn to set things up in a way that NONE of this had to happen as it has.

[cooper88]

If GU was on Medicaid already, they may go after estate recovery and there may be nothing to inherit.

[weltz]

Oct 3, 2023 20:13:24 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

My old stove was 22 years old. I have been very careful with baking especially to use a timer. I think overall the burners might be more powerful so I'm turning them lower than I normally would.

Potatoes aren't cheap here either. I am happy since I rearranged my pantry and can close the door that it stays cooler and potatoes last longer.

I managed to score 10 pounds of potatoes for $1.94.
That was unusual...it's a loss leader to get people in the dtore.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Oct 3, 2023 20:40:12 GMT -5 cooper88 said:

If GU was on Medicaid already, they may go after estate recovery and there may be nothing to inherit.

[b

He hasn't been on it long enough. It only got approved a month ago.

He's been at the home longer than that bit it's taken this long to get him approved.

The home had to eat the costs and keep appealing because GU was an abandoned adult. They has no where to discharge him to.

Dad has to get all the final billing stuff together. He may not even owe Medicaid yet.

At most it's $7k. Then $10k in leins to Omaha.

So there is still about $80k running around loose.

[countrygirl2]

We aren't buying much groceries just fresh things, we are working on eating out of the freezer and pantries. I want to use those stored items before they get to old.

Also DD and I don't eat much so hard to get motivated to cook. Hubs said he doesn't care, so if true  won't be making the kind of meals I used to.

I am very tired tonight and still not on top of things. May not be up long much longer.

Smoke is so cute, I was trimming his nails and he was just trying to play with the clippers. He just doesn't care what you do, so his are done.

[finnime]

Good morning and good Wednesday to you, fabulous invisipeeps, conserving your resources by cooking at home. I hope it includes ice cream!

We're having meatloaf tonight. DD is coming for dinner and that was her request. The meatloaf discussion here made me hungry for it. We'll have it with acorn squash and potato, then pavlova or shortcake for dessert since I have blueberries and raspberries. And we'll watch Young@Heart which DH found on Prime. Great movie, a doco of a geriatric musical group singing rock. There's another movie of the same name which is nothing like this one.

And so forth and so on.

The sun rose again boldly yesterday for a bright sunny day. I got this shot when it was just beginning to edge beyond the trees on the neck across the bay:

[toomuchreality]

Oct 3, 2023 16:35:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Well he's gone. My dad is at the nursing home dealing with paperwork.

I will take off Thursday to go with him.to tell grandma.

What a mess.

HUGS ♡ ❤ ♡

[giramomma]

Oct 3, 2023 20:17:06 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

My kids are being so cute and sweet to each other. I can't describe it. But bonding over d&d and the 3d printer and just a lot more levity than a lot of conversations.

Those are the best moments.

For us, it's games that do that.

[toomuchreality]

Yay! I was told yesterday, that I won't be sharing a room with DD2's MIL, when we go to Disneyland, next week, after all.

I am once again, happy about going on this trip. Although I know there will be some little issues (feel bads) for me, because she and I have such different personalities. She says what she wants, without considering other people, IMO and I try to go with the flow and be agreeable. So she gets her way a lot, which bothers me. But at least I'm not going to be alone with her. Not much, anyway.

I'm going to DD2's this morning, to try and get my Disability Access Service. We tried to get it online yesterday, but there was a 5 hour wait in the queue, which would have put us at midnight and they close at 9 or 10.

Wish me luck!

[minnesotapaintlady]

Hit a deer with the Fridge this morning.    Annoyed because I almost never drive it...because of the deer...but my aunt was giving me crap last night about turning into my mom and I couldn't let that slide.

On the plus side, the damage isn't bad and it's the only vehicle with insurance.  Still sucks.

[notagain]

Drama. Sorry for your loss

[notagain]

mpl only 1 car with insurance?