what are you doing right now?

[Ava]

jerseygirl and raeoflyte

I'm glad you're both doing better. Very good news

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Pissed.

I renewed my NEXUS card using my AmEx card.  I got notified yesterday that that card may have been hacked, so they canceled it and are sending me a new one.

The charge for my NEXUS card has not hit my account, which means I need to go in and find out if I can shift how it’s paid.  I HATE this website.  I had hoped that this charge had slipped in before it got shut down.  

[Ava]

The Walk of the Penguin Mich
You don't want to know how difficult it is to obtain a tourist visa for the USA.

I went through the process in May, when I visited Uruguay.
My mother's visa has expired in February. She tried to apply online but couldn't do it.
She waited for me to arrive so I could help her fill out the application, send it, etc.
It took me days to do it. The website was not user friendly at all. You had small printing at the bottom of some pages where you had to check a box "I agree". These were hard to see and would not let you continue with your application until you checked that box.

The application was in English. Uruguay is a Spanish-speaking country. Shouldn't the application for a tourist visa be in Spanish? Nobody to call, couldn't go the embassy in person because they wouldn't allow you to enter and talk to a human being.

We did it, but it was a struggle. The picture you send has to be xx size, have such and such color background, etc. All very specific.

Once you had your application complete (which was 10 screens and asked all kind of questions) and your picture, you had to wait to receive a page with a barcode through email, which you will then attach outside the package you send. Nowhere in the website did it say to wait for that email and a barcode. So we went to drop the package and the lady at the counter informed us we had to wait to receive a barcode. 

Then you could only use one mail carrier to send your package. You could drop your application package at 3 locations in the country. Granted, it' a small country, but still.

Should I continue?

No wonder each time I typed American Embassy on my mom's computer search engine, a bunch of cottage industry website popped up, offering to fill out the tourist visa application for a fee.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 23, 2023 14:16:48 GMT -5 Ava said:

The Walk of the Penguin Mich
You don't want to know how difficult it is to obtain a tourist visa for the USA.

I went through the process in May, when I visited Uruguay.
My mother's visa has expired in February. She tried to apply online but couldn't do it.
She waited for me to arrive so I could help her fill out the application, send it, etc.
It took me days to do it. The website was not user friendly at all. You had small printing at the bottom of some pages where you had to check a box "I agree". These were hard to see and would not let you continue with your application until you checked that box.

The application was in English. Uruguay is a Spanish-speaking country. Shouldn't the application for a tourist visa be in Spanish? Nobody to call, couldn't go the embassy in person because they wouldn't allow you to enter and talk to a human being.

We did it, but it was a struggle. The picture you send has to be xx size, have such and such color background, etc. All very specific.

Once you had your application complete (which was 10 screens and asked all kind of questions) and your picture, you had to wait to receive a page with a barcode through email, which you will then attach outside the package you send. Nowhere in the website did it say to wait for that email and a barcode. So we went to drop the package and the lady at the counter informed us we had to wait to receive a barcode. 

Then you could only use one mail carrier to send your package. You could drop your application package at 3 locations in the country. Granted, it' a small country, but still.

Should I continue?

No wonder each time I typed American Embassy on my mom's computer search engine, a bunch of cottage industry website popped up, offering to fill out the tourist visa application for a fee.

Take home message is that the US visa hoops are comparable to the rest of the world.

[ners]

I just caught up.


jerseygirl Glad to hear you are doing well.  Hope the medicine for Jerseyguy will do the trick.


raeoflyte Glad your surgery went well.  

NomoreDramaQ1015 Sorry for your work issues.

Pink Cashmere Hope things are getting better for you.

[countrygirl2]

I got all the caulking done at the house. It just looks so much neater to not see gaps between baseboards and the walls or the door casing. There were not a lot but just looks trashy to me. Now the built in back porch for the w/d is another story, lots out there, they are all filled and smoothed. I'm sure it will also stop some air infiltration. The floors are mopped. Also have 3 fragrance containers, just lavender and not overwhelming. I think she had smoked in the laundry room and even though there is fresh paint and flooring you could still get some odor. Also left the AC on. At least there isn't any musty smells, so that is good.

I thought I had cleaned all the kitchen cabinets, apparently I just did some of the top ones. I use Murphy Oil soap on stained cabinets and wood work. It cleans things like that too including wood floors and wood paneling. Got the mopping done and decked the bathroom out with towels, shower curtain, and throw rugs. Added a fall plant I put together for the countertop and I'm going to take over the 3 throw rugs I bought for my kitchen, they have pumpkins on them, will set it off.

Hubs got all the curtains up yesterday and he mowed there today and washed the windows on the outside. So the place looks squeaky clean.

Tomorrow going back and do some raking, blow off the sidewalks and porch. Hubs is filling a planter by the back door with soil and we are ready. The realtor is coming Monday, so that will be listed. 

[weltz]

I'm giving myself a pedicure, and painting my toenails in Chrome.

[weltz]

Sept 23, 2023 15:29:41 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I got all the caulking done at the house. It just looks so much neater to not see gaps between baseboards and the walls or the door casing. There were not a lot but just looks trashy to me. Now the built in back porch for the w/d is another story, lots out there, they are all filled and smoothed. I'm sure it will also stop some air infiltration. The floors are mopped. Also have 3 fragrance containers, just lavender and not overwhelming. I think she had smoked in the laundry room and even though there is fresh paint and flooring you could still get some odor. Also left the AC on. At least there isn't any musty smells, so that is good.

I thought I had cleaned all the kitchen cabinets, apparently I just did some of the top ones. I use Murphy Oil soap on stained cabinets and wood work. It cleans things like that too including wood floors and wood paneling. Got the mopping done and decked the bathroom out with towels, shower curtain, and throw rugs. Added a fall plant I put together for the countertop and I'm going to take over the 3 throw rugs I bought for my kitchen, they have pumpkins on them, will set it off.

Hubs got all the curtains up yesterday and he mowed there today and washed the windows on the outside. So the place looks squeaky clean.

Tomorrow going back and do some raking, blow off the sidewalks and porch. Hubs is filling a planter by the back door with soil and we are ready. The realtor is coming Monday, so that will be listed. 

I never use Murphy's Oil Soap on my wood floors. I find that it streaks.

[countrygirl2]

Humm, haven't seen that, but I mainly mop my hardwood with just warm water unless something is on them.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 23, 2023 15:43:03 GMT -5 weltz said:

I'm giving myself a pedicure, and painting my toenails in Chrome.

I did mine and DGD2's in silver chrome a week ago. Mine didn't turn out very well. My tremors really messed them up. 😕

I hope you love yours!

[weltz]

I always love my Chrome nails!  Maybe you could get someone else to apply the nail polish?

[weltz]

Sept 23, 2023 15:53:05 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

Humm, haven't seen that, but I mainly mop my hardwood with just warm water unless something is on them.

I use vinegar and warm water.  

[Ava]

I'm putting together a schedule of things to do, places to visit in October, November and December.
Mom arrives next week.
We plan to visit Lancaster, PA and Hershey, PA. Also going to visit the Essex Steam Train and Gillette Castle. We want to go to American Dream in NJ.
Then a lot of local activities. Lots of planning and lots of $$$$

My social life has not been the best lately. A lot of planned activities got cancelled, including an engagement party today due to expected bad weather. It's been pretty mild but we may still get heavy rain and winds overnight.

I am now running a Meetup group. It has its good and bad points. You get to go out and meet new people, but at the same time there's a lot of planning involved, and the last minutes RSVP changes and no-shows can be dragging.

I think I'm handling it well, but we don't have a large group and I've had to cancel events because nobody signs up. This is an economically depressed area which has a lot to do with that, I think.
Someone recommended changing the group location to a more affluent area about 25 miles away. I may do it next year. I want to give this area a chance first.

I'm also unsure what to get my mother for her birthday in October. This is a woman who loves surprises and gifts, but she has everything.

I've gifted her jewelry, purses, creams, clothes, perfumes, shoes in the past. I'm running out of ideas. I asked her and she said she'll choose her own gift. But I know she loves surprises. I got her a painting from Overstock.com. It's an oil reproduction of a Van Gogh painting. I have one and they are very good quality. But she already knows about that gift.

[Ava]

Oh, man, I'm so sorry about the bad coworker experience NomoreDramaQ1015

Despite all the problems I've had at work lately, I couldn't ask for a nicer team.

It makes all the difference.

I struggled with bad coworkers for years when I worked at the cafeteria years ago. I don't wish a bad work environment on my worst enemy.
I hope it gets solved soon. It takes guts to put a complaint.

[wvugurl26]

Ava I go to Hershey a few times a year, happy to answer questions with planning for that.

[Pink Cashmere]

I am still very out of sorts. I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have also mostly checked out on Mister. We have become so disconnected that I basically gave up. I am very aware that he is grieving, and I have read some about dealing with a grieving partner, but what’s going on now is really something that happens anyway, and even though it’s bad timing since he really is going through some shit right now, I don’t have it in me right now to be the only one trying to connect with the other. I am feeling a lot of negativity right now, regarding him actually, so I figure it’s best for me to just keep to myself until I sort my own shit out. I doubt that he’ll even notice.

Anyway, in desperation, I’ve tried to get back into something I really enjoyed for as long as I can remember, until a few years ago, reading fiction. I don’t even know why I suddenly stopped reading, when I had been such an avid reader since I was a young child. It was nothing for me to read 2 or 3 books/week as a teenager and adult. I read fast, and I didn’t like short stories because they were over too soon, the thicker the book, the better, as long as it was interesting. My need to read was almost as much a part of me as my need to breathe. It was something I HAD to do, and enjoyed very much.

So I’ve been trying to find something good to read, to try to get back in the habit.

I also have a tentative date with DS to go bicycle riding on Monday. I want to go to the trail that first got me to enjoy riding my bike, because it was like riding on a paved path through the woods, near a river. It use to soothe my soul to ride there, and I enjoyed it so much that I got in the habit of riding my bike at least 4-5 times/week, even after I needed a longer trail that wasn’t necessarily as scenic and peaceful. 

Even though a few years ago, Mister bought me the road bike I’d been drooling over for a couple of years, by then I’d gotten out of the habit, and I never really learned how to ride it. The gears are still very confusing to me, and every time I do plan to ride it, I have to read again how to work the gears, and I still end up confused when I do ride it. It won’t stick in my head what the big levers do, vs the small levers, which ones move the big chain and the small chain and which way I move any of them does what. It’s too much! I DO know how to work the brakes though lol.

If we do go Monday, maybe I should just take my mountain bike, I do understand how the gears work on it lol. I also feel like my road bike is a lot more delicate than my mountain bike, and even though they are both Treks, my mountain bike is closer to entry level and my road bike is a lot more expensive, and I’m not as comfortable anymore as I’d gotten to be on a bicycle so Idk about those skinny ass tires on my road bike anymore, and if I might fall and risk damaging one, I’d prefer it be the mountain bike, and, and, and,…… so yeah, it sounds like I’m talking myself into riding my mountain bike lol. The middle ground would be Mister’s hybrid, the gears on it make sense to me too, but it’s too big for me, because he is taller than me.

I just know my mountain bike is a lot more work to get moving and keep moving, but I won’t be able to keep up with DS no matter what either of us rides, even if he rode something that doesn’t even have gears lol, so it doesn’t really matter. When I text him and asked if he would go with me Monday, he got all excited and called me instead of just texting me back, and was like YES! It’s something he’s been wanting us to do together since I first started riding bicycles, so he won’t care that I’m a slow poke.

I HAVE to figure out something. I absolutely cannot stay in this crazy place I’m in. It’s no good.

I know I started rambling. It’s easier to ramble about bicycles than talk about all the real stuff that’s bothering me.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Found a cast iron skillet for $6 at the thrift store.

It needs rust removed and reseasoned but I'm excited.

I've been searching since DH tossed the one I got as a wedding gift. It had rust so he threw it away. I wasn't home to stop him and the garbage had already came.

15 years later I'm still pissed. I told him don't touch this one.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 23, 2023 16:45:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am still very out of sorts. I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have also mostly checked out on Mister. We have become so disconnected that I basically gave up. I am very aware that he is grieving, and I have read some about dealing with a grieving partner, but what’s going on now is really something that happens anyway, and even though it’s bad timing since he really is going through some shit right now, I don’t have it in me right now to be the only one trying to connect with the other. I am feeling a lot of negativity right now, regarding him actually, so I figure it’s best for me to just keep to myself until I sort my own shit out. I doubt that he’ll even notice.

Anyway, in desperation, I’ve tried to get back into something I really enjoyed for as long as I can remember, until a few years ago, reading fiction. I don’t even know why I suddenly stopped reading, when I had been such an avid reader since I was a young child. It was nothing for me to read 2 or 3 books/week as a teenager and adult. I read fast, and I didn’t like short stories because they were over too soon, the thicker the book, the better, as long as it was interesting. My need to read was almost as much a part of me as my need to breathe. It was something I HAD to do, and enjoyed very much.

So I’ve been trying to find something good to read, to try to get back in the habit.

I also have a tentative date with DS to go bicycle riding on Monday. I want to go to the trail that first got me to enjoy riding my bike, because it was like riding on a paved path through the woods, near a river. It use to soothe my soul to ride there, and I enjoyed it so much that I got in the habit of riding my bike at least 4-5 times/week, even after I needed a longer trail that wasn’t necessarily as scenic and peaceful. 

Even though a few years ago, Mister bought me the road bike I’d been drooling over for a couple of years, by then I’d gotten out of the habit, and I never really learned how to ride it. The gears are still very confusing to me, and every time I do plan to ride it, I have to read again how to work the gears, and I still end up confused when I do ride it. It won’t stick in my head what the big levers do, vs the small levers, which ones move the big chain and the small chain and which way I move any of them does what. It’s too much! I DO know how to work the brakes though lol.

If we do go Monday, maybe I should just take my mountain bike, I do understand how the gears work on it lol. I also feel like my road bike is a lot more delicate than my road bike, and even though they are both Treks, my mountain bike is closer to entry level and my road bike is a lot more expensive, and I’m not as comfortable anymore as I’d gotten to be on a bicycle so Idk about those skinny ass tires on my road bike anymore, and if I might fall and risk damaging one, I’d prefer it be the mountain bike, and, and, and,…… so yeah, it sounds like I’m talking myself into riding my mountain bike lol. The middle ground would be Mister’s hybrid, the gears on it make sense to me too, but it’s too big for me, because he is taller than me.

I just know my mountain bike is a lot more work to get moving and keep moving, but I won’t be able to keep up with DS no matter what either of us rides, even if he rode something that doesn’t even have gears lol, so it doesn’t really matter. When I text him and asked if he would go with me Monday, he got all excited and called me instead of just texting me back, and was like YES! It’s something he’s been wanting us to do together since I first started riding bicycles, so he won’t care that I’m a slow poke.

I HAVE to figure out something. I absolutely cannot stay in this crazy place I’m in. It’s no good.

I know I started rambling. It’s easier to ramble about bicycles than talk about all the real stuff that’s bothering me.

[cooper88]

Sept 23, 2023 16:54:41 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Found a cast iron skillet for $6 at the thrift store.

It needs rust removed and reseasoned but I'm excited.

I've been searching since DH tossed the one I got as a wedding gift. It had rust so he threw it away. I wasn't home to stop him and the garbage had already came.

15 years later I'm still pissed. I told him don't touch this one.

Reddit has a cast iron group and it has a lot of information about reseasoning and removing rust.

[CCL]

Sept 23, 2023 16:45:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am still very out of sorts. I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have also mostly checked out on Mister. We have become so disconnected that I basically gave up. I am very aware that he is grieving, and I have read some about dealing with a grieving partner, but what’s going on now is really something that happens anyway, and even though it’s bad timing since he really is going through some shit right now, I don’t have it in me right now to be the only one trying to connect with the other. I am feeling a lot of negativity right now, regarding him actually, so I figure it’s best for me to just keep to myself until I sort my own shit out. I doubt that he’ll even notice.

Anyway, in desperation, I’ve tried to get back into something I really enjoyed for as long as I can remember, until a few years ago, reading fiction. I don’t even know why I suddenly stopped reading, when I had been such an avid reader since I was a young child. It was nothing for me to read 2 or 3 books/week as a teenager and adult. I read fast, and I didn’t like short stories because they were over too soon, the thicker the book, the better, as long as it was interesting. My need to read was almost as much a part of me as my need to breathe. It was something I HAD to do, and enjoyed very much.

So I’ve been trying to find something good to read, to try to get back in the habit.

I also have a tentative date with DS to go bicycle riding on Monday. I want to go to the trail that first got me to enjoy riding my bike, because it was like riding on a paved path through the woods, near a river. It use to soothe my soul to ride there, and I enjoyed it so much that I got in the habit of riding my bike at least 4-5 times/week, even after I needed a longer trail that wasn’t necessarily as scenic and peaceful. 

Even though a few years ago, Mister bought me the road bike I’d been drooling over for a couple of years, by then I’d gotten out of the habit, and I never really learned how to ride it. The gears are still very confusing to me, and every time I do plan to ride it, I have to read again how to work the gears, and I still end up confused when I do ride it. It won’t stick in my head what the big levers do, vs the small levers, which ones move the big chain and the small chain and which way I move any of them does what. It’s too much! I DO know how to work the brakes though lol.

If we do go Monday, maybe I should just take my mountain bike, I do understand how the gears work on it lol. I also feel like my road bike is a lot more delicate than my mountain bike, and even though they are both Treks, my mountain bike is closer to entry level and my road bike is a lot more expensive, and I’m not as comfortable anymore as I’d gotten to be on a bicycle so Idk about those skinny ass tires on my road bike anymore, and if I might fall and risk damaging one, I’d prefer it be the mountain bike, and, and, and,…… so yeah, it sounds like I’m talking myself into riding my mountain bike lol. The middle ground would be Mister’s hybrid, the gears on it make sense to me too, but it’s too big for me, because he is taller than me.

I just know my mountain bike is a lot more work to get moving and keep moving, but I won’t be able to keep up with DS no matter what either of us rides, even if he rode something that doesn’t even have gears lol, so it doesn’t really matter. When I text him and asked if he would go with me Monday, he got all excited and called me instead of just texting me back, and was like YES! It’s something he’s been wanting us to do together since I first started riding bicycles, so he won’t care that I’m a slow poke.

I HAVE to figure out something. I absolutely cannot stay in this crazy place I’m in. It’s no good.

I know I started rambling. It’s easier to ramble about bicycles than talk about all the real stuff that’s bothering me.

Good for you, Pink. I love riding my bike. If I had the space, I'd have 3 or 4 different ones.

[cooper88]

Anyone have a mesh network at home? And a recommendation for a brand? I was getting information overload trying to read about it.

[daisylu]

I did get the bathroom cleaned today, walls and all. And a load of laundry. I think that's about enough.

[finnime]

Bike riding is a good thing to be doing and a good place for you to be, Pink Cashmere.

It seems like you need a way to guard your inner resources. Reading and bike riding work. No need to dig into your relationship with Mister right now; you can just let it ride for a time. You need you right now.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 23, 2023 17:09:03 GMT -5 CCL said:

Sept 23, 2023 16:45:32 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am still very out of sorts. I have been doing a lot of thinking. I have also mostly checked out on Mister. We have become so disconnected that I basically gave up. I am very aware that he is grieving, and I have read some about dealing with a grieving partner, but what’s going on now is really something that happens anyway, and even though it’s bad timing since he really is going through some shit right now, I don’t have it in me right now to be the only one trying to connect with the other. I am feeling a lot of negativity right now, regarding him actually, so I figure it’s best for me to just keep to myself until I sort my own shit out. I doubt that he’ll even notice.

Anyway, in desperation, I’ve tried to get back into something I really enjoyed for as long as I can remember, until a few years ago, reading fiction. I don’t even know why I suddenly stopped reading, when I had been such an avid reader since I was a young child. It was nothing for me to read 2 or 3 books/week as a teenager and adult. I read fast, and I didn’t like short stories because they were over too soon, the thicker the book, the better, as long as it was interesting. My need to read was almost as much a part of me as my need to breathe. It was something I HAD to do, and enjoyed very much.

So I’ve been trying to find something good to read, to try to get back in the habit.

I also have a tentative date with DS to go bicycle riding on Monday. I want to go to the trail that first got me to enjoy riding my bike, because it was like riding on a paved path through the woods, near a river. It use to soothe my soul to ride there, and I enjoyed it so much that I got in the habit of riding my bike at least 4-5 times/week, even after I needed a longer trail that wasn’t necessarily as scenic and peaceful. 

Even though a few years ago, Mister bought me the road bike I’d been drooling over for a couple of years, by then I’d gotten out of the habit, and I never really learned how to ride it. The gears are still very confusing to me, and every time I do plan to ride it, I have to read again how to work the gears, and I still end up confused when I do ride it. It won’t stick in my head what the big levers do, vs the small levers, which ones move the big chain and the small chain and which way I move any of them does what. It’s too much! I DO know how to work the brakes though lol.

If we do go Monday, maybe I should just take my mountain bike, I do understand how the gears work on it lol. I also feel like my road bike is a lot more delicate than my mountain bike, and even though they are both Treks, my mountain bike is closer to entry level and my road bike is a lot more expensive, and I’m not as comfortable anymore as I’d gotten to be on a bicycle so Idk about those skinny ass tires on my road bike anymore, and if I might fall and risk damaging one, I’d prefer it be the mountain bike, and, and, and,…… so yeah, it sounds like I’m talking myself into riding my mountain bike lol. The middle ground would be Mister’s hybrid, the gears on it make sense to me too, but it’s too big for me, because he is taller than me.

I just know my mountain bike is a lot more work to get moving and keep moving, but I won’t be able to keep up with DS no matter what either of us rides, even if he rode something that doesn’t even have gears lol, so it doesn’t really matter. When I text him and asked if he would go with me Monday, he got all excited and called me instead of just texting me back, and was like YES! It’s something he’s been wanting us to do together since I first started riding bicycles, so he won’t care that I’m a slow poke.

I HAVE to figure out something. I absolutely cannot stay in this crazy place I’m in. It’s no good.

I know I started rambling. It’s easier to ramble about bicycles than talk about all the real stuff that’s bothering me.

Good for you, Pink. I love riding my bike. If I had the space, I'd have 3 or 4 different ones.

Welllllll, since you gave me an opening to ramble about riding bikes some more……

When I bought my mountain bike, it didn’t take long for me to “outgrow” riding in my small neighborhood. But when I started riding on trails, it became time consuming, on my work days, I had to drive almost 20 minutes home, because even though I had a bike rack on my car, I had no way to secure my bike to keep it from being stolen while I was at work, then I’d make a smoothie and change clothes, and drive at least 20 minutes to a trail. It didn’t take long for me to be able to ride a couple of hours, then I had to drive back home, fix dinner and eat it. I still did it all the time, because I enjoyed it, but it was time consuming. I wished I could just ride straight out my door, somewhere safe. But that wasn’t happening outside of my small neighborhood.

When we moved here, at first I was like yayyyy, my neighborhood is HUGE, and there are road signs on the big street running through the neighborhood saying bicyclists can take a whole lane and some of the surrounding larger streets have dedicated bike lanes. But it didn’t take long for me to realize, wait a minute, this is a bunch of hills, and no matter which direction I go when I leave home, Imma have to ride UP a big hill to get back home. I HATE hills. And I most definitely don’t want to have to tackle one to get back home, when I’m already tired. So I lost that enthusiasm quickly lol.

I do live closer to the trail I used to ride a lot when I first got started, maybe a 10 minute drive vs 20 or more. But my drive home from work is longer, so the time spent would be about the same.

Just because I was curious, after my last post, I went to see what the 2023 model of my road bike costs today. $1600 more! What the world?! At that price, I wouldn’t even be drooling over it, like I was back then. It wouldn’t even be on my radar. 

I also briefly revisited a bicycling forum I use to cruise, and there is a sub group for the 50yo+ cyclists. I was relieved to see that my frame was one of the ones recommended for old folks like me lol. As long as the frame works for me, I can change/adjust anything else I need or want to.

Now I’m curious enough to go see what the current version of my mountain bike costs.

[countrygirl2]

Not much cleaning here today, ran the robot. After I finish at the rental I hope to get in the groove here and start cleaning. I did wash all the throw rugs yesterday, they are ready for when I have freshly mopped floors again.

I had the rest of my salad for dinner, hubs fixed he and DD a frozen pizza. They both love those things.

[countrygirl2]

I read all the time, another reason I don't keep up with other work needing done.

Just finished Lethal Rain book2. And Now I'm starting Seasons of Man Standing at the Gate. But somehow I ended up with book 3, need 1 and 2. But I will read it anyway. I can read through a book really fast too. None ever last me very long. But I love to read and also do crossword puzzles, so I can fill hours with these 2 activities.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 23, 2023 16:15:12 GMT -5 Ava said:

I'm putting together a schedule of things to do, places to visit in October, November and December.
Mom arrives next week.
We plan to visit Lancaster, PA and Hershey, PA. Also going to visit the Essex Steam Train and Gillette Castle. We want to go to American Dream in NJ.
Then a lot of local activities. Lots of planning and lots of $$$$

My social life has not been the best lately. A lot of planned activities got cancelled, including an engagement party today due to expected bad weather. It's been pretty mild but we may still get heavy rain and winds overnight.

I am now running a Meetup group. It has its good and bad points. You get to go out and meet new people, but at the same time there's a lot of planning involved, and the last minutes RSVP changes and no-shows can be dragging.

I think I'm handling it well, but we don't have a large group and I've had to cancel events because nobody signs up. This is an economically depressed area which has a lot to do with that, I think.
Someone recommended changing the group location to a more affluent area about 25 miles away. I may do it next year. I want to give this area a chance first.

I'm also unsure what to get my mother for her birthday in October. This is a woman who loves surprises and gifts, but she has everything.

I've gifted her jewelry, purses, creams, clothes, perfumes, shoes in the past. I'm running out of ideas. I asked her and she said she'll choose her own gift. But I know she loves surprises. I got her a painting from Overstock.com. It's an oil reproduction of a Van Gogh painting. I have one and they are very good quality. But she already knows about that gift.

Gift her an experience.  Show, ballet, opera, symphony?

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 23, 2023 17:49:28 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 23, 2023 17:09:03 GMT -5 CCL said:

Good for you, Pink. I love riding my bike. If I had the space, I'd have 3 or 4 different ones.

Welllllll, since you gave me an opening to ramble about riding bikes some more……

When I bought my mountain bike, it didn’t take long for me to “outgrow” riding in my small neighborhood. But when I started riding on trails, it became time consuming, on my work days, I had to drive almost 20 minutes home, because even though I had a bike rack on my car, I had no way to secure my bike to keep it from being stolen while I was at work, then I’d make a smoothie and change clothes, and drive at least 20 minutes to a trail. It didn’t take long for me to be able to ride a couple of hours, then I had to drive back home, fix dinner and eat it. I still did it all the time, because I enjoyed it, but it was time consuming. I wished I could just ride straight out my door, somewhere safe. But that wasn’t happening outside of my small neighborhood.

When we moved here, at first I was like yayyyy, my neighborhood is HUGE, and there are road signs on the big street running through the neighborhood saying bicyclists can take a whole lane and some of the surrounding larger streets have dedicated bike lanes. But it didn’t take long for me to realize, wait a minute, this is a bunch of hills, and no matter which direction I go when I leave home, Imma have to ride UP a big hill to get back home. I HATE hills. And I most definitely don’t want to have to tackle one to get back home, when I’m already tired. So I lost that enthusiasm quickly lol.

I do live closer to the trail I used to ride a lot when I first got started, maybe a 10 minute drive vs 20 or more. But my drive home from work is longer, so the time spent would be about the same.

Just because I was curious, after my last post, I went to see what the 2023 model of my road bike costs today. $1600 more! What the world?! At that price, I wouldn’t even be drooling over it, like I was back then. It wouldn’t even be on my radar. 

I also briefly revisited a bicycling forum I use to cruise, and there is a sub group for the 50yo+ cyclists. I was relieved to see that my frame was one of the ones recommended for old folks like me lol. As long as the frame works for me, I can change/adjust anything else I need or want to.

Now I’m curious enough to go see what the current version of my mountain bike costs.

Ihad a route I had mapped in/near my neighborhood that I rode after work.  Within it was a 5 mile loop, so doing it I could put together a 6, 11, 17 or 23 mile ride depend ing how much time I had when I got home nd it was daylight.  I used weekends to load up my bike and ride in the hill country outside of Lexington.

My bike is gathering dust.  I discovered I can no longer ride a bike because I cannot lift my foot high enough to put it on the pedal.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 23, 2023 17:48:05 GMT -5 finnime said:

Bike riding is a good thing to be doing and a good place for you to be, Pink Cashmere .

It seems like you need a way to guard your inner resources. Reading and bike riding work. No need to dig into your relationship with Mister right now; you can just let it ride for a time. You need you right now.

And that is my plan, to just let it ride for a minute. My love for him hasn’t changed, and I’m not planning on going anywhere, nor do I think he is planning on going anywhere, so I feel like we can take a bit of time to tend to ourselves, which will ultimately make our union even stronger if we get things right. Because in my mind, the healthier we are as individuals, the more likely we are to be able to have a good, healthy relationship.

A week or so before Mr. Messy died, Mister and I were talking about how we planned last year, to get married this past May. We acknowledged that we got sidetracked and he said, “I didn’t know my Momma was gon get so sick and end up kicking the bucket”. Uhhh… okay, since you put it like that, sir. I said since it was no longer an option for his Mom to be there, I’d like for us to do it while his Dad could be there, and before he got to the point that he wouldn’t even know what was going on. So November came up, because our “anniversary” is in November. And Mister said cool, let’s do it then. Then his Dad died a week or so later.

One of his friends since childhood came to his Dad’s visitation, and his wife was chatting with me while the men were visiting with other people. The wife said, “so y’all are getting married this fall”, and I was caught off guard and probably looking crazy when I said “What? Where did you get that from”. Unfortunately, she started looking uncomfortable because of my reaction, which made me feel bad, and I tried to fix it by being honest that we’d talked about it, but we didn’t expect his Dad to die so soon, but it’s going to happen eventually and even though it will be a private ceremony, we will invite them and everybody else that loves us, to celebrate with us. I was so caught off guard because I didn’t expect Mister to have told anyone, but he must’ve told that friend, for that friend’s wife to know. I hadn’t and still haven’t told anybody at all, so don’t you tell anybody either!

One day soon after Mr. Messy died, Mr. Messy’s older sister that I’ve bonded so well with lately, came by here for something I don’t remember. I do remember I said something to her that day about Mister getting on my nerves, but how I loved him anyway. She said “listen, my husband and I have been together for 52 years. Sometimes, I want to beat him up and pick him up off the ground and beat him up some more. But even then, I love him, and us truly loving each other is how we have managed to stay together this long. Even though I really do want to beat him up sometimes, so I get that”. She had already told me more than once that she can and will fight (the first time, when she was asking if she needed to escort me to my car in the garage at the hospital, so never in a threatening or crazy way), and her family says the same about her, so I believed her lol.

She has been with her husband for longer than I’ve even been alive. So I appreciated her humorous way of telling me that those temporary feelings don’t have to outweigh the love and other good things that can keep a couple together for forever, if that’s what they both want.

I love me some Mister, and I know he loves me, we just have a lot of work to do, as individuals, and still, as a couple. This is a really tough patch right now, complicated by grief, but I do believe we will get through it. Imma give him the space and time he needs to deal with his shit, and Imma take the space and time to deal with what I need to. It’s not in my nature to stay disconnected from somebody I love for a very long time, especially if I’m just irritated with them for whatever reason and they haven’t actually done anything to mistreat me, or whatever….. so that is temporary too. 

Just, please keep praying for both of us, sending us good vibes, or whatever positive thing has meaning to you. Please, and thank you.

[finnime]

Prayers and positive thoughts are yours, Pink.