what are you doing right now?

[daisylu]

Late yesterday, manager requested some slides for a meeting later today. So I started working around 530 this morning. Slides are complete, and I logging off after that 2pm meeting.

[andi9899]

Sept 19, 2023 18:33:14 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 19, 2023 17:43:21 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Maybe the inmates got ahold of him and he's no longer available for the hearing.

While that wouldn't be the worst. I really want him to be convicted in a jury trial first. Reason being is his family has been horrible through this (mainly his dad, brother and sister). While she was missing they were all going on about how she probably just left her kids and took off with some other guy (while her body was lying 1/4 mile down the road from their house). They have been rude and belligerent to searchers and now say their son/brother was framed. I'm almost more furious with them at this point.

If he just ended up killed in jail he would forever be the innocent victim to them.

Yeah, that's true.

I am ready for that Doerman guy that shot his kids to be convicted. He asked for protective custody but was denied. I think they're keeping him off limits until the trial and after that he's done for once he gets put back in gen pop.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Furnace is being replaced today.  All the ductwork downstairs is going, they will vent it outside properly like it should be and they are also replacing duct work to the water heater.

The furnace is exactly 40 years old.  It was put in 1983 and apparently in 1983 they didn't care about such things like proper ventilation. 

The A-coil to the AC is also being replaced.  The unit itself is no longer leaking it's been sealed up and the freon replaced.   The can will be kicked down the road another year for that possibly longer.  The guy said he did the same thing with a similar aged unit and it's still going 7 years later.

These older AC units were apparently built to out last time itself.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 20, 2023 7:49:43 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 19, 2023 17:54:19 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

When I was in high school, my guidance counselor and I figured out my college track classes for the rest of high school.  My parents had to sign off so I took it home.  

My dad refused to sign off because I wasn't pretty and would never get married.  I had to take shorthand and typing for two periods a day, which leaves little time to take the college track classes.

I never did forgive him for that but I did go to college and get my degree and used the degree to make my living.

We had a vo-tech high school, so a lot of kids split off to attend that after 9th grade and we mostly never saw them again.  

Little did my dad know, with his secretarial dreams for me, I would have been better off at that high school.

That just pisses me off. I know not everyone has parents that back their kid no matter what, but I just don't understand it. How can you create this person and not be there for them at all times?! I feel bad for people that don't have that.

With my mom it was that good ole' fashioned 1950s mentality of why send a woman to college she's just going to get married and have babies.  My grandfather wasn't going to help my mom go to college to find a husband.  She could find one at home just fine,

And that's what people think they want to go back to!

I think my mom would have made a wonderful teacher, that's what she wanted to do.  She was so good with both girls.  Abby was way ahead of the rest of the 5-6 year olds in kindergarten because my mom had spent a lot of time teaching her her letters and how to read/write.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 20, 2023 7:55:30 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 19, 2023 18:33:14 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

While that wouldn't be the worst. I really want him to be convicted in a jury trial first. Reason being is his family has been horrible through this (mainly his dad, brother and sister). While she was missing they were all going on about how she probably just left her kids and took off with some other guy (while her body was lying 1/4 mile down the road from their house). They have been rude and belligerent to searchers and now say their son/brother was framed. I'm almost more furious with them at this point.

If he just ended up killed in jail he would forever be the innocent victim to them.

Yeah, that's true.

I am ready for that Doerman guy that shot his kids to be convicted. He asked for protective custody but was denied. I think they're keeping him off limits until the trial and after that he's done for once he gets put back in gen pop.

He's a nut job, I fear he's going to get off on an insanity plea having planned it for months due to the voices in his head.

I feel so bad for the older sister that was there trying to save her brothers.  She has to be so traumatized.

[Cookies Galore]

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary. Time really flew! I managed to get us a reservation at Zahav, an Israeli restaurant in Philly, in August when the September reservations opened. We are super excited to die of food happiness.

[daisylu]

Sept 20, 2023 8:41:20 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary. Time really flew! I managed to get us a reservation at Zahav, an Israeli restaurant in Philly, in August when the September reservations opened. We are super excited to die of food happiness.

Happy Anniversary!

[giramomma]

Sept 20, 2023 7:49:43 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 19, 2023 17:54:19 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

When I was in high school, my guidance counselor and I figured out my college track classes for the rest of high school.  My parents had to sign off so I took it home.  

My dad refused to sign off because I wasn't pretty and would never get married.  I had to take shorthand and typing for two periods a day, which leaves little time to take the college track classes.

I never did forgive him for that but I did go to college and get my degree and used the degree to make my living.

We had a vo-tech high school, so a lot of kids split off to attend that after 9th grade and we mostly never saw them again.  

Little did my dad know, with his secretarial dreams for me, I would have been better off at that high school.

That just pisses me off. I know not everyone has parents that back their kid no matter what, but I just don't understand it. How can you create this person and not be there for them at all times?! I feel bad for people that don't have that.

Because women were really second class citizens 50-60 years ago?  Not that it's a whole lot better now.

My mom is older than Theo, but not by much (I think there's like a 5-7 year age difference).

My mom was discouraged from going into the sciences. She was told the best she could hope for was being a secretary. By her mom.

And, yes, women got married right out of high school. For a lot of folks, that is simply the culture of what you did.  I had/have an aunt. Married my dad's brother, right after HS. Obviously they dated while she was in HS. My uncle died in his early 50s. She had been married to him close to 30 years at that point, for sure together 30 years when he died. She had a new partner within a few months. She didn't know how to function as a single person.

Now I can't imagine a woman that couldn't ever be alone with herself. I think she finally figured it out in her 70s after her second husband (the above partner) died.

My Dad grew up rural, and poor. His parents, like everyone else, were too busy trying to make sure there was enough food on the table. My dad grew up so poor that getting a store bought shirt (rather than one that his mom made) was a treat..  When you are struggling for the basics, there's no bandwidth to examine social norms, decide if they are for you, and then be strong enough to buck the system. Maslow, and all that.

Even the poor families that I worked with 15 years ago...that were struggling for food, clothing, and shelter....if they didn't have the time/energy to fight it when sex offenders were pushed into their neighborhoods, you think they have time/energy to prioritize social/cultural change?

The fact that our family can model a way that's counter to cultural norms, that's a luxury.

And, you are also discounting the authoritarian parenting culture/attitudes towards kids. You were lucky if you didn't experience that. Shit, I even had teachers that applauded the way my mom publicly humiliated me to "discipline" me. In fact after my mom used shame/humiliation to discipline me in front of him, my teacher went so far as to say tell the entire class "One student's mom in class today did X before school today. I thought it was great! I wish more of your parents would do that."

[Cookies Galore]

Sept 20, 2023 6:45:50 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I think that was quite possibly the longest post ever.

I love that post! I feel like trying violin after reading that. I wish I knew you in 4th grade, lol.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Parenting was also different in why you had kids back when my parents were born.  Both grandmothers flat out told my parents that it was their "duty" back then to have kids and that part of the reason they were born was the expectation that they would care for their parents in old age.

I cannot begin to explain the mind fuck that did on either of my parents.

I really do think that if my grandmas had been born at the same time as me it is highly unlikely they would have had kids.

I am sure my grandparents loved them in their own way but parenting and expectations for child rearing were different back then.  

I can't say they were perfect my dad is pretty authoritarian and learning more about grandma made A LOT of puzzle pieces fall into place on that subject. 

But considering how they were raised and the fact that it was considered a major moral failing to get professional help for your childhood trauma they did a decent job of breaking the cycle.   They made an effort to tell us that they loved us and never burdened us with the expectation that our sole purpose on earth was to be their cash cow later in life.

[wvugurl26]

I was able to get in a week early to the oral surgeon. My TMJ has been out of control this year. This is something that both dental and medical insurance say not it. So I had to pay it all out of pocket up front yesterday which I was not expecting. But of course if I leave it untreated dental insurance will keep paying to fix the damage to my teeth and medical will pay when I need surgery to reattach the muscles to bone.

Maybe I should have started with a new dentist first. I just didn't think yesterday would cost me $1500.

I'm grinding down my teeth and cracking them. I'm just majorly second guessing myself today. My prior guard no longer fits I guess due to the damage I've already done.

I also wonder if I would have so many problems now if I had gotten the braces I needed. My mom's husband refused to let her pay half and my dad couldn't afford it all. How many times am I going to be screwed over in my life by that azzhat?

[minnesotapaintlady]

My family did things kind of ass-backwards.  More women went to college than men.  The men either farmed or went into the trades and the women went into nursing, teaching or took business courses (usually a 2 year degree).  My grandmother went to business college in the 40's or 50's to keep the books for the family farm.  Back then family farms were profitable and my mom said they'd have probably have been considered "rich" today.  Lots of hired help and top of the line equipment.  I guess they figured rather than hire a CPA it made more sense to send grandma to school to do it.  My mom and all three aunts all went to college, but only 2 of the 5 uncles did (and one of those was raised by another family, so he doesn't count  )

Even my generation.  None of my four brothers went to college.  One went in the service and three into trades, but my sister and I both have 4 year degrees.  My one brother is now a kept handyman of his sugarmomma pharmaceutical sales wife. 

[daisylu]

Lost the motivation that I woke up with.

[daisylu]

Wondering why I never thought to buy circular wax paper for burgers. 

I like using my burger press but it is not nonstick. Problem solved. 

DH said I could just cut wax paper.   He smartened up when I said you could get 500 precut for $6, plus avoid the waste.

[wvugurl26]

I got a big pack of small squares of wax paper at the dollar tree. They work in the burger press.

I'm trying to order linens for our vacation next month and the company I ordered from last year no longer appears to do it. They were the best deal. The others I'm finding are so close to the price from the real estate company I might as well go through them.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 20, 2023 8:47:15 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Sept 20, 2023 7:49:43 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

That just pisses me off. I know not everyone has parents that back their kid no matter what, but I just don't understand it. How can you create this person and not be there for them at all times?! I feel bad for people that don't have that.

Because women were really second class citizens 50-60 years ago?  Not that it's a whole lot better now.

My mom is older than Theo, but not by much (I think there's like a 5-7 year age difference).

My mom was discouraged from going into the sciences. She was told the best she could hope for was being a secretary. By her mom.

And, yes, women got married right out of high school. For a lot of folks, that is simply the culture of what you did.  I had/have an aunt. Married my dad's brother, right after HS. Obviously they dated while she was in HS. My uncle died in his early 50s. She had been married to him close to 30 years at that point, for sure together 30 years when he died. She had a new partner within a few months. She didn't know how to function as a single person.

Now I can't imagine a woman that couldn't ever be alone with herself. I think she finally figured it out in her 70s after her second husband (the above partner) died.

My Dad grew up rural, and poor. His parents, like everyone else, were too busy trying to make sure there was enough food on the table. My dad grew up so poor that getting a store bought shirt (rather than one that his mom made) was a treat..  When you are struggling for the basics, there's no bandwidth to examine social norms, decide if they are for you, and then be strong enough to buck the system. Maslow, and all that.

Even the poor families that I worked with 15 years ago...that were struggling for food, clothing, and shelter....if they didn't have the time/energy to fight it when sex offenders were pushed into their neighborhoods, you think they have time/energy to prioritize social/cultural change?

The fact that our family can model a way that's counter to cultural norms, that's a luxury.

And, you are also discounting the authoritarian parenting culture/attitudes towards kids. You were lucky if you didn't experience that. Shit, I even had teachers that applauded the way my mom publicly humiliated me to "discipline" me. In fact after my mom used shame/humiliation to discipline me in front of him, my teacher went so far as to say tell the entire class "One student's mom in class today did X before school today. I thought it was great! I wish more of your parents would do that."

My sister and cousin all attended the same high school in Des Moines.  All of the rest of my Iowa cousins lived in rural Iowa.

While the 3 Des Moines cousins all got jobs out of high school and then went to college, we did go to college and used our degrees.  

I attended so many weddings of cousins 18 or 19 years old that got married the summer or winter after high school because that is what happens in small towns.  The problem was for the ones who divorced later on, they had no real job skills.  So they, too, ended up in crappy factory jobs or working in cigarette shops as a cashier or waiting tables.  So they were desperate for a husband.  

Two of the 3 children of my oldest aunt went to Iowa State Teacher's College as it was called then and spent their careers in education.  Looking back, I don't know how that happened.  Neither parent was well educated and they were poor.  They both used their education to get themselves out of that poverty.  

My favorite aunt always said she couldn't spend the night in her farm house if her husband died before her.  She would be afraid.  Well, she died first so that was an unnecessary worry.  

I look back on some of the living conditions of my cousins and it was so different from what we had in Des Moines, starting with running water.  

I went to a lot of weddings the summer after I graduated high school.  I'd say about half of those worked out.  The ones that did work out are still married today so they did know what they were doing.

Parents were authoritarian back then.  We didn't question what they told us to do.  We did it.

I do give my dad credit.  He worked nights, so was home in the day.  On a summer day, I was playing with two boys from the neighborhood.  I don't remember what happened, but one of them decided to rub my face into our brick house.  Dad did here my screaming and came out and rescued me.  He used language on that kid I'd never heard.  The other boy was trying to get him to stop but it wasn't working.  

[swamp]

Sept 19, 2023 16:11:01 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

swamp (or any other attorneys here).  Why would an omnibus hearing be cancelled?  The Friday hearing for the guy accused of killing his girlfriend and hiding her body from our town was suddenly cancelled.  Not rescheduled, just cancelled. 

plea agreement reached. 

[azucena]

Adulting fail - been getting notices from my Flexible Spending Account for healthcare that they need more documentation on the $4.10 that DH charged on FSA debit card at the kids' dentist. Pretty sure we've received 3 notices that I put on to do pile. Well this week the mail brought an account suspended notice. Rather than chase down the documentation, I sent them a check for $4.10 to reimburse my own account. Gotta clear that up because there's $1k+ left that I can reimburse from orthodontist bill.

Paperwork can be so tedious. Realized that I've been taking care of our FSA my whole 22 yr marriage. Blech! Likely saves us $400ish/yr in taxes so I'll keep doing it like a good lil YMer.

[swamp]

Sept 19, 2023 16:31:52 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 19, 2023 16:17:01 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

what was the hearing for? I'm not an attorney, but I'm learning a lot from the ongoings of a high profile case around here. a woman has been accused of murdering her police officer BF after a night of drinking. evidence has come out to show pretty clearly that she's being framed, and I'll just stop there for this post. but, there was an evidentiary hearing scheduled for late May that when the defense filed a bunch of motions to challenge whatever the prosecution was going to present on that date, the (very biased, should have recused herself for a number of reasons) judge just flat out cancelled the hearing. 

It was an omnibus hearing and from what I'm reading that is something that has to be held within so many days of being charged for the prosecution to present its evidence or something like that. I'm just nervous its not progressing.

Or, have teh hearing and you'll be fucked later, i.e., no plea agreement/very unfavorable plea agreement. 

[swamp]

Sept 19, 2023 16:35:07 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 19, 2023 16:31:52 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

It was an omnibus hearing and from what I'm reading that is something that has to be held within so many days of being charged for the prosecution to present its evidence or something like that. I'm just nervous its not progressing.

idk what an omnibus hearing is, then. but if this is the case you posted about awhile ago, then I'm also concerned. please keep us posted! 

NY they are called preliminary hearings, they are cancelled all the time.  

Usually because as a defense attorney you won't learn much and it can hurt you later in plea bargaining if you insist on having the hearing. 

[swamp]

Sept 20, 2023 8:09:22 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 20, 2023 7:55:30 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Yeah, that's true.

I am ready for that Doerman guy that shot his kids to be convicted. He asked for protective custody but was denied. I think they're keeping him off limits until the trial and after that he's done for once he gets put back in gen pop.

He's a nut job, I fear he's going to get off on an insanity plea having planned it for months due to the voices in his head.

I feel so bad for the older sister that was there trying to save her brothers.  She has to be so traumatized.

You don't get off on an insanity plea, you get sent to a "secure mental facility," aka jail for crazy people.   I'd rather go to prison.  

[bookkeeper]

I had an optical pressure check today to keep a handle on my glaucoma.  Pressures are up--bummer.  I am probably going to have to have a lazer procedure done on both eyes again.  Looks like I get to meet my deductible this year.

[bean29]

Sept 20, 2023 8:41:20 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary. Time really flew! I managed to get us a reservation at Zahav, an Israeli restaurant in Philly, in August when the September reservations opened. We are super excited to die of food happiness.

Happy Anniversary!

That is awesome.  So glad you got a reservation at a restaurant you both will enjoy.


 

[chiver78]

Sept 20, 2023 10:35:19 GMT -5 swamp said:

Sept 19, 2023 16:35:07 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

idk what an omnibus hearing is, then. but if this is the case you posted about awhile ago, then I'm also concerned. please keep us posted! 

NY they are called preliminary hearings, they are cancelled all the time.  

Usually because as a defense attorney you won't learn much and it can hurt you later in plea bargaining if you insist on having the hearing. 

interesting. and in that case I mentioned, where the defense is finding all of the evidence showing a frame job, it would make sense that the prosecution(and the state/local POs involved in the coverup) doesn't want to get fucked later on. 

[bean29]

Sept 20, 2023 10:32:36 GMT -5 azucena said:

Adulting fail - been getting notices from my Flexible Spending Account for healthcare that they need more documentation on the $4.10 that DH charged on FSA debit card at the kids' dentist. Pretty sure we've received 3 notices that I put on to do pile. Well this week the mail brought an account suspended notice. Rather than chase down the documentation, I sent them a check for $4.10 to reimburse my own account. Gotta clear that up because there's $1k+ left that I can reimburse from orthodontist bill.

Paperwork can be so tedious. Realized that I've been taking care of our FSA my whole 22 yr marriage. Blech! Likely saves us $400ish/yr in taxes so I'll keep doing it like a good lil YMer.

Yeah, my DH is super busy.  His brother is here from GA and wanted to help DH fix a room in his office.  DH needed to get it done, but he hadn't done it yet b/c he just is too busy to stop and do it.  Last night I called him about 7:30 and he was up in his attic pulling wires for electrical stuff.  He was home in short order, so it might have just been some ceiling lighting.  Today he is worried about avoiding he rain we are having so he can haul in the drywall they need.  It is a small room, I don't know what he will do about flooring, but the room I really need him to address is his own office.  We have "new" used furniture in the garage.  He wanted to put in new flooring, but now he said he will just paint the office and that is it.  So we should be able to get another car in the garage this winter.  The goal is 3, but we have to purge a lot of stuff to get there.  We can move stuff to the office garage if I can get the pack rat to part with his stuff.  DS said when he worked for DH he used to sneak stuff out of the office to get rid of it.  he also said there was a fan in the back room that he kept breaking pieces off of it until DH agreed to get rid of it.  

But anyways, I sent DH two things to deal with this am.  One was a cc payment of less than $2.00 and the second was a car loan payment for Chase.  Payment is like $560 I am paying $700 I think it is set up correctly with Chase but they keep applying all of the payment to principal then sending us a late notice and a 10 late fee.  I am not on the account, so they will not tell me how to fix it.  It has been going on since January.  I told him he had to call, and he admits he had the statement out to call, but he does not grab it in the am.  I scanned it this am and e-mailed it to him.  That does not however guarantee that he will deal with it.  The interest rate is 4.90 and the credit union is well over 6% so our choices are pay it off or figure it out.  We have another car loan that is a smidge higher so I would rather pay off DH's car loan than this one. 

[lurkyloo]

Sept 19, 2023 17:22:21 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 19, 2023 14:47:26 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Dammit.  DS sprained his ankle in gym class-big bump o’swelling.  Do I need to take him to the doctor?  My impression is that they’ll just say wrap it, ice it, stay off it and give him ibuprofen.

I would take him in. But I take mine in for everything. And usually regret it.

Hope he feels better.

Still swollen and sore this morning…there is a broken bone in there as per urgent care. Boot for now, appt with orthopedist tomorrow.

I am absolutely furious with the school that didn’t offer to send him to the nurse but sent him home crying and limping.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 20, 2023 10:30:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

Sept 19, 2023 16:11:01 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

swamp (or any other attorneys here).  Why would an omnibus hearing be cancelled?  The Friday hearing for the guy accused of killing his girlfriend and hiding her body from our town was suddenly cancelled.  Not rescheduled, just cancelled. 

plea agreement reached. 

It would be awesome if he just fessed up, but I'm hearing rumors it has now been rescheduled to mid-October.  The news and family hasn't confirmed it yet, just some Facebook rumblings.  I cannot figure out how to find the info online.  Whenever I search his name in the court access page it just comes up with the custody case for his kids between him and his ex's parents. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 20, 2023 10:32:36 GMT -5 azucena said:

Adulting fail - been getting notices from my Flexible Spending Account for healthcare that they need more documentation on the $4.10 that DH charged on FSA debit card at the kids' dentist. Pretty sure we've received 3 notices that I put on to do pile. Well this week the mail brought an account suspended notice. Rather than chase down the documentation, I sent them a check for $4.10 to reimburse my own account. Gotta clear that up because there's $1k+ left that I can reimburse from orthodontist bill.

Paperwork can be so tedious. Realized that I've been taking care of our FSA my whole 22 yr marriage. Blech! Likely saves us $400ish/yr in taxes so I'll keep doing it like a good lil YMer.

I HATED having an FSA and playing that annual guessing game.  I don't know what sadistic person in the government thought the "use it or lose it" clause was a good idea.  Much happier with an HSA.

[swamp]

Sept 20, 2023 11:17:59 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 20, 2023 10:30:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

plea agreement reached. 

It would be awesome if he just fessed up, but I'm hearing rumors it has now been rescheduled to mid-October.  The news and family hasn't confirmed it yet, just some Facebook rumblings.  I cannot figure out how to find the info online.  Whenever I search his name in the court access page it just comes up with the custody case for his kids between him and his ex's parents. 

it may just be a control date. 

I don't know how things work in other states, but in NY, the computer insists on a date for further proceedings, and sometimes you just call it hearings/pretrial/status/whatever to fill in the blank. 

[weltz]

Happy Anniversary, Cookies!