what are you doing right now?

[giramomma]

Sept 13, 2023 11:16:24 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 13, 2023 10:11:30 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I also know not many 26 year olds say to their spouse " Hey,. spouse, thanks for bringing money into the marriage. We absolutely cannot touch that money, because that's what's going to pay our end of life care."

I'm 54 and STILL wouldn't say that! 

Yeah. I'm not most people. Being me is hard sometimes.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 13, 2023 11:52:06 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Sept 13, 2023 11:16:24 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I'm 54 and STILL wouldn't say that! 

Yeah. I'm not most people. Being me is hard sometimes.

Now, retirement...hell yeah.  World cruises like Mich went on, maybe a summer home in MN and winter one in AZ, but nursing home care?  Not high on my list at all.  I hope that assisted suicide expands to allow for dementia patients because that's the only thing that worries me a little.  Not sure I have it in me to eat a bullet.  Luckily, it's pretty rare in my family.  My grandmother's brother had alzheimers...and it was ugly...but that's the only one I know of from a pretty large family.

[seriousthistime]

Sept 13, 2023 8:16:46 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

In regards to nursing home care here are my musings on the subject.

Everyone in this country whether we want to or not has to make sure they at least save enough for 1-2 years of nursing home care.  That would be about $200k+    That is your ticket into a decent nursing home because the majority of them now are expecting residents to at least have that much in cash before they will accept them.

You have no money you can still get into a home but it will not be a very nice one.   My dad refers to the one GU is in as a "shithole".  Turns out grandma has been paying his way all his life so he had jack squat to his name besides the house.  He had to go on Medicaid right away and very few homes anymore are accepting Medicaid upfront if at all.   You don't get to pick if you are on Medicaid upfront.

That being said there is no way on God's green Earth anyone is going to be able to 100% fund their own nursing home care.  Let's say my grandma lives 5 years in the home that is $516,000 and that is just for room/board.  I'm assuming most people are going to live some of their retirement if not a good majority of it outside a nursing home so you're going to have to factor in a bonus $516, 000 into your retirement savings as a "just in case" that you never touch.   Not many people are going to be able to do that.

Then seeing how these places are run I'm sorry I can no longer get behind every single penny and asset you have should go to them.  They are so incredibly corrupt and greedy.  We have 20 nursing homes closing in Iowa because the administration ran things so far into the red they are bankrupt.  My grandma's nursing home is sitting at 65% empty beds because they are holding out for people like my grandma how are they operating in the black at 65% empty?  That $8600 a month she is paying is definitely not going to the staff who actually take care of her either.    

Not a single penny of what she saved all those years go to us.   And she still ends up on Medicaid at the end of it.  There won't be anything left for the state to collect the nursing home got every single penny.  They bullied me into returning the lift chair because that was an extra $2500 they could milk out of my grandma rather than it being tied up in a chair.  They accused me of elder abuse because they wanted to scare me itno selling her house before she died so Iowa wouldn't get the money.

Screw it, if you can shelter some of your money and assets for your family do so.  Especially because there is a big push on the part of nursing homes to try to bully family into paying for residents.  The nursing home tried that with me informing me I was PERSONALLY responsible for grandma's bills and if I didn't pay up she would be on the streets.  That's against federal law but most people don't know that and pay.  Now the nursing home can get you to pay private rates indefintely because you "agreed" by handing over a check with your name on it.

That is leading to generational poverty because all your dad's money went to grandma.  Now your money has to go to dad.  So forth and so on.

It is a giant corrupt dysfunctional nightmare.   If nursing homes and the state can do whatever they please to benefit themselves then I should have every right to avail myself of what little tools there are for individuals to protect at least some of my assets.

When my grandfather died (1956) my grandmother (at the time 70 years old) sold the house and went to live with a cousin of hers who had a rooming house.  She may have had a small pension from my grandfather's work and also had some Social Security but not much.  I'm not sure if the cost of her room became unmanageable for her or if there was a falling out (I don't recall one, but I was just a kid and wouldn't have known anyway), but two years later she was out of the rooming house and spending three months at a time between our family and her sister's family. They watched over her and took care of her, and she helped a little watching the kids, doing dishes, etc. She had a stroke and died at our house in 1961.

That's the way it used to be, the elders moved in with their children who cared for them at home. Women didn't work outside the home then, and the sons were pretty much spared from elder care. It was women's work.  And even now care-giving falls to the women more often than the men, though women are more in the workforce now.  And that compresses their income and reduces their eventual Social Security. 

Your grandmother's resistance to moving closer to family was a consideration for me when deciding to move closer to at least one kid. We want to be independent, but what happens when we cannot?  The family dealing with this stuff from a distance of even an hour away is so difficult.  I think countrygirl2 has the right idea to move close to her DS, aside from her desire to spend more time with her grandson.  If something were to happen to her or her DH and their DS had to deal with it, it would be so difficult for him to do that from a distance. 

Technically, custodial care is something that a person without medical skills can do.  Make meals, help with hygiene, reposition bedridden patients to avoid pressure ulcers, etc. I do actually know someone who was living with her beloved mother who had Alzheimer's and finally had to go to a nursing home.  The mother did have adequate funds to pay for it.  The daughter had access to those funds and she continued to use those funds to support herself while living in the house as well as pay mom's nursing home bills.  The daughter (who didn't work) developed a shopping addition and started hoarding. Eventually all of mom's funds were gone. The nursing home made a few demands for payment, and when no money was forthcoming, they packed up mom and delivered her back home for the daughter to care for.  The house had to be decluttered quickly, and mom lived out her days in that house.  So it does happen. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 13, 2023 12:10:23 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 13, 2023 11:52:06 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Yeah. I'm not most people. Being me is hard sometimes.

Now, retirement...hell yeah.  World cruises like Mich went on, maybe a summer home in MN and winter one in AZ, but nursing home care?  Not high on my list at all.  I hope that assisted suicide expands to allow for dementia patients because that's the only thing that worries me a little.  Not sure I have it in me to eat a bullet.  Luckily, it's pretty rare in my family.  My grandmother's brother had alzheimers...and it was ugly...but that's the only one I know of from a pretty large family.

Same.  At the moment the only one we know of in my dad's family is my grandmother and even that the doctor said was sped up due to her isolation living out there alone in Treynor, especially during the pandemic.  So there is a grey area there on how much of it was genetics and how much of it was nurture. 

We tried to get her to move back into CB.  There were plenty of little houses including yet another one right across the street.  She didn't want to move because she didn't want to pay a few hundred more a year in property taxes. 

With the sale of her house, what she had saved and then potentially the other type of Medicaid eventually that helps with at home care she could have been quite comfortable.   Hell if she had moved into the senior apartment unit my mom found she'd also likely still be pretty independent and have money to spare.   It was $3000 a month with all the trimmings.  Her social security and grandfather's pension cover almost the entire balance. 

The nursing home stuck her in a wheelchair because it's easier to move her around, especially with her cerebral palsy.  As such she can no longer walk.  We would have kept her as mobile as possible.

Don't tell me for one hot second once you are in a home they don't do everything in their power to make sure you have to stay there.

My dad works for a living.  I work for a living and so does my husband.  Caring for either one of them at the level they need to be cared for now is impossible.  We also do not have the space for it.  I cannot afford to buy another home just to house my grandmother and I am guessing a lot of younger people are in similar positions.   Elder care is a needed service especially as boomers continue to age into it.  Reform is needed so it is easier to access and afford and the people being paid to care for elders actually CARE for them not just how much they can fleece them for.

[anciana]

Sept 13, 2023 10:58:02 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 13, 2023 8:59:56 GMT -5 anciana said:

Rae, would buying precooked stuff at Costco or grocery store be an option so you don’t need to cook so much this week? Depending on what your family likes or has tried so far, of course. There are meals that can be frozen or refrigerated so they last for a good while. I remember getting things in place before giving birth years ago and cooking up a storm of lasagnas, meatballs and cooked ground beef, meatloaf, shredded chicken for the freezer for easier meals. It helped a lot. Good luck!

Thats a good idea. We'll have ravioli and carnitas from the ready made aisles and lots of pasta in the pantry.

Honestly we eat really basic things. My "cooking" probably doesn't even qualify as that with most people here. I have 6 pounds of ground beef in the crock pot now on low. I just stir it when I walk by that I'll package and freeze in 1 pound bags to make staple meals come together quick. This weekend my mom is coming over and we'll make egg rolls and potato burritos for grab and go options. I might do some lasagna and chicken enchiladas if I have extra time but that's a long shot.

I want to plan like I'll feel like crap and hope I'll feel fine. But if I plan for the former I figure it makes the latter more possible.

Sounds like you have it all figured out. Yes, we had some carnitas meat that anyone could take out of the fridge to warm up and a bag of shredded veggies to put together quick tacos. I also like Costco’s rotisserie chicken that we shred and keep in freezer so you can take as much as you need to add to at different things, like salad, chicken Alfredo’s, mix in taco seasoning for tacos, add to broth with frozen veggies and some rice for a quick soup.

[anciana]

Sept 13, 2023 8:26:11 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

I'm not working today so I thought I might clean house.  That thought lasted about 45 minutes, but I got a lot done.  Now I'm thinking about reading a book.  

Hope you’re enjoying your day!

[anciana]

Sept 13, 2023 11:16:58 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Sept 13, 2023 10:13:43 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I am embarrassed about losing my temper with my brother-in-law Sunday at lunch and telling him he is a Racist Pig, I am questioning if I should apologize to him, but I really feel that he is a Racist a$$.  I in general agree with not rocking the boat, and just not challenging someone you disagree with, but my BIL just won't leave well enough alone.  Just before I lost it, my DN also lost it on a different issue.  

Have a good day everyone.

You were caught between a rock and a hard place.  It sounds like he likes to push people's buttons.  How did he take to your comments? He provoked you, so if I were you I would not apologize. 

It is getting to a point where I have to tell people I am not up for discussing or listening to their political viewpoints.  I have a friend who is very very far left, and she grates on my more center-left views.  We will be spending a lot of time together in the next few months and I think the only way to get through it is to just impose a no-politics zone around myself.  

bean29, if anything, if you really feel like apologizing, I would consider apologizing to the hosts or other people around who might have felt uncomfortable in the situation as it possibly escalated. I am personally thankful for people like you who call out people behaving badly and hurtful toward others.

[flamingo]

I just got the weirdest call from my boss. Like actual phone call, not a teams video call. He was like "are you around this week?" Which isn't as weird as it sounds since I travel so much, but yes, I'm at home office this week. He was like, "ok good. you may get a call from someone, so just answer your phone." Duh? Ok? He went on to say that it was nothing bad, but that people might want to talk to me. 

ABOUT WHAT?! WHAT PEOPLE?! There are a bunch of personnel changes on our team, and so I'm assuming it's going to have something to do with restructuring our territories, but ugh, why be so cryptic?! I'm not stressed about it - they're gonna do whatever they're gonna do and it doesn't sound like I'll be fired, but it was SO WEIRD!

[toomuchreality]

Sept 13, 2023 11:46:04 GMT -5 azucena said:

Sept 13, 2023 10:01:02 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I'm alive.  Mostly sleeping.  Seems to be the best thing I can do for myself at the moment.

I have no sense of smell and am sleeping probably 75% of the time.  

Got a burst of energy last evening.  Hopefully that happens tonight.

I'm betting there are at least a couple of us checking your online activity each morning 


Somehow got myself roped into being asst coach for 5/6th vball. Got our first win last night. They finally stopped letting the serves splat next to them (mostly).

Then, went to play my own softball games at 830 and 930. My brain was all confused like isn't this pj and bedtime?! Hit a triple and played a decent hot corner 3rd base including a tag on a slider. Didn't get home until 1130 and my entire body is squawking bout it.

Congrats!
Hope your body recovers quickly.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 13, 2023 11:46:30 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

All this talk of nursing homes and such is hitting home here. 

I have a friend, a year older than me, whose father had early onset Alzheimer's and passed in his 60s.  Her mother had cognition issues and went to assisted living and then into a skilled nursing facility in her 80s.  My friend has always been spacey, and would ask us to remind her to do such and such.  She would pay bills late.  She would send in CC payments that exceeded the balance and then work off a credit for a few months to minimize late payment fees.  She felt the insurance company and storage facility should not just send her a notice that she was late with a payment but should actually pick up the phone and call her. She came from a privileged upbringing and we thought it was her expectation that people should do things for her. She was very disorganized and had multiple notebooks in her purse to write things down and then would forget where she wrote it.   That kind of thing. 

So because she has always been this way, we didn't recognize that she was showing signs of cognitive decline. But lately there have been glaring instances where it seems there really is an issue beyond normal aging.  None of her kids live close by, but one is starting to spend more time here with her as she has been working hybrid/remote.  My friend said that her kids have concerns and want her to get checked out. But knowing her kids, they will rely on friends to do some of the heavy lifting to watch over their mom and keep her entertained. This would be quite fine with my friend because she's very extroverted and social and is unhappy to stay home without social interaction.  

Seeing this with the older generation was different than seeing it in your peers. 

This would be hard. Hugs ♡

I feel totally different about being asked to do something and being expected to do it, without being asked. But that's just me.

[toomuchreality]

Sept 13, 2023 13:04:51 GMT -5 flamingo said:

I just got the weirdest call from my boss. Like actual phone call, not a teams video call. He was like "are you around this week?" Which isn't as weird as it sounds since I travel so much, but yes, I'm at home office this week. He was like, "ok good. you may get a call from someone, so just answer your phone." Duh? Ok? He went on to say that it was nothing bad, but that people might want to talk to me. 

ABOUT WHAT?! WHAT PEOPLE?! There are a bunch of personnel changes on our team, and so I'm assuming it's going to have something to do with restructuring our territories, but ugh, why be so cryptic?! I'm not stressed about it - they're gonna do whatever they're gonna do and it doesn't sound like I'll be fired, but it was SO WEIRD!

Agreed. Very weird. And I'm not sure how helpful.
I hope it goes well.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 13, 2023 8:59:56 GMT -5 anciana said:

Sept 13, 2023 8:14:53 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

On Monday I hit myself in the face with a stick while I was training. Nothing terrible but enough to have a good headache for 24 hours but I had my days confused so I didn't take advil. Today's the day I need to stop taking advil. I feel fine now - it really wasnt that bad - but I'm annoyed with myself.

T minus 1 week to surgery. I need to make a list.
Dogs to bathe,
food to cook,
fence off the damn grapes,
I might buy another mattress pad and fitted sheet so I can make my bed like a crib and just strip the top layer, and voila - clean sheets! Buy myself a 2nd week there.
Oh - write out "recipes" for our easy meals like tacos, spaghetti, etc so that the kids can throw those together. I’ll have cooked and frozen ground beef in the freezer to make those go together quickly.

I don't think there is much else I can prep ahead of time. But I do need chores written out to make it easier for helping to get done.

Rae, would buying precooked stuff at Costco or grocery store be an option so you don’t need to cook so much this week? Depending on what your family likes or has tried so far, of course. There are meals that can be frozen or refrigerated so they last for a good while. I remember getting things in place before giving birth years ago and cooking up a storm of lasagnas, meatballs and cooked ground beef, meatloaf, shredded chicken for the freezer for easier meals. It helped a lot. Good luck!

Costco's meals are quite good, there are several of them that I'd vouch for.  I don't buy them regularly, but do know that they're available in a pinch.  You just take the lid off, cover with foil and throw in the oven.  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 13, 2023 12:41:59 GMT -5 anciana said:

Sept 13, 2023 10:58:02 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Thats a good idea. We'll have ravioli and carnitas from the ready made aisles and lots of pasta in the pantry.

Honestly we eat really basic things. My "cooking" probably doesn't even qualify as that with most people here. I have 6 pounds of ground beef in the crock pot now on low. I just stir it when I walk by that I'll package and freeze in 1 pound bags to make staple meals come together quick. This weekend my mom is coming over and we'll make egg rolls and potato burritos for grab and go options. I might do some lasagna and chicken enchiladas if I have extra time but that's a long shot.

I want to plan like I'll feel like crap and hope I'll feel fine. But if I plan for the former I figure it makes the latter more possible.

Sounds like you have it all figured out. Yes, we had some carnitas meat that anyone could take out of the fridge to warm up and a bag of shredded veggies to put together quick tacos. I also like Costco’s rotisserie chicken that we shred and keep in freezer so you can take as much as you need to add to at different things, like salad, chicken Alfredo’s, mix in taco seasoning for tacos, add to broth with frozen veggies and some rice for a quick soup.

The local Costco (not sure all of them does this) does sell already picked rotisserie chicken.  I think it's about 2-3 lbs of meat??  Anyway, I remember buying it when I was dealing with Harpo and his pancreatitis.  He was on a chicken and rice diet for well over a month and I got tired of picking chicken off the bone, so bought this and mixed it up with rice.  Anyway, there's enough there that you can easily get several meals out of it.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

My in laws have gone about their end of life actions very deliberately.  My MIL (and her sisters) have downsized, my MIL to a smaller condo where she has access to a bus line when her driving days are over, and she's close to grocery and restaurants - all in walking distance.  Her next plan is to move to assisted living with a nursing home component - just like her sister has done.   Unfortunately, her sister is now on hospice care there, but she has transitioned seamlessly from a smaller condo to assisted living to this.  Her assisted living facility was in the same place that her husband was placed as he had rapidly progressing Alzheimer's.  Her sister's husband died while we were on the world cruise, and it looks like her sister's leukemia is out of remission and she has refused further treatment.  Man, getting old sucks. 

[daisylu]

Hormone test results are in, consistent with menopause. Yay.

[minnesotapaintlady]

I love my freaking town.  At the gas station...

[haapai]

I'm celebrating.  The hedge that some fool (not me, for once) planted 18" from the sidewalk has been reduced to 6" stumps and all of the debris is in bags waiting to be picked up on Friday.  The remaining stumps will almost certainly sprout regrowth in the spring, but I'll be able to keep up with that with hand shears.  It's time for me to move on to the other wildly overgrown things and get as much of them to the curb before the city cuts off yard waste collection.  Three of the five shrubs planted 18" from the foundation of the house have also been stripped of greenery which would continue to photosynthesize and feed them.  The energy stored in their copious roots will certainly cause them to sprout lushly in the spring, if not before, but the growth will be much easier to get rid of.  The irises, ferns, and hostas that have been steadily shrinking in their shade may be able to recover.  These buggers got to seven feet tall and four feet in radius.  As much as I want to curse the fool that originally planted them, I suspect that they probably came with a label that understated how large they could get. 

Realistically, the yard looks like hell, but there's two to four less hours work that needs to be done screaming at me every time that I step outside or out of the car. 

[jerseygirl]

Sept 13, 2023 15:39:47 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I love my freaking town.  At the gas station...

OMG so funny
Does the piggy have sunglasses?

[toomuchreality]

Sept 13, 2023 15:39:47 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I love my freaking town.  At the gas station...

I wish I'd see something like that, where I live. It would make my day! Probably longer.

[countrygirl2]

Wow, never been to a dentist like him before. HE cleaned my teeth, never had a dentist do that before and did he clean them. I knew my bite wasn't quite right, so he adjusted it, first time its been right in years.

He is older, been a dentist for a long time. Has his own dental lab and makes his dentures too, interesting. He told me the roof of my mouth had like a couple of blisters at the top, looked like herpes or shingles, for goodness sakes. He gave me a numbing gel for it and said if its not healed in a week come in and see him. It really hurts so I'm eating mostly soft stuff. 

My pain management doc gave me a steroid shot in my hip, said its an inflamed bursa in my hip part that sticks out. Likely due to some of the padding not there now, LOL! So between the two that feels better. He also increased my dosage to 2 pills a day if I need them. Than I had to take a urine test of course. But all came out well, just took me most of the day and I feel like I have worked hard all day.

[chiver78]

that is fantastic, MPL! 

[snapdragon]

Hey all New England and NE Canada peeps...There is now a really big chance that Hurrican Lee is going to be hitting between Long Island and the Bay of Fundy, add lots of storm surge and winds to go with both just due to size/mass. So, if you are close to water, please either stock up early or move inwards for a few days. Double check Ryan Hall on YT for more information. Surrounding areas will still be dealing with a tropical storm.

[chiver78]

I have some questions as I start to tie up loose ends in advance of leaving my current employer in the not-so-distant future. hoping nobody minds if I post about them here? doesn't seem worthy of its own thread.     I have direct deposit, so I don't often check the ADP site. 

1. vacation payout - are payroll taxes taken out on vacation payout upon severance? I just input the three days I need for a long weekend in a couple weeks to head to another music festival, and as of now still have three full weeks of vacation time with nothing else planned through year end. there's also 8 sick days, which I'd lose upon leaving. so those mental health days where I've really just had enough? those will be billed as sick days now. 

2. "adjustments" - what does this actually mean? I have a handful of these line items in my ADP ledger, all dated August 9th. various amounts are listed under "gross" and there's nothing under take-home. is this possibly related to stock transactions pertaining to a secondary bonus? the "gross" number isn't small, so I'm a little concerned. 

[chiver78]

Sept 13, 2023 17:14:58 GMT -5 snapdragon said:

Hey all New England and NE Canada peeps...There is now a really big chance that Hurrican Lee is going to be hitting between Long Island and the Bay of Fundy, add lots of storm surge and winds to go with both just due to size/mass. So, if you are close to water, please either stock up early or move inwards for a few days. Double check Ryan Hall on YT for more information. Surrounding areas will still be dealing with a tropical storm.

 if you're on FB, this is another solid resource - Southern New England Weather

the stuff I'm seeing looks like a direct hit on the Bay of Fundy, which is right where half my family lives. ugh. as far as here, I'm going to be tying stuff down and putting as much into the tiki bar shed as I can. it's a good thing LD is recovering well and can handle stairs (occasionally) because I see us just hanging out in the basement to avoid the noise. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Mr. Messy has been laid to rest. 

I’ve said what I’ve said before about Mister’s parents, but aside from all of that, they were good people at heart and touched a lot of lives.

The young man, P that played the organ during the service today also played and sang a song that he remembers Mister’s Dad singing at church when P was a child. Before he played the song, he talked about how he use to go to church by himself and was fascinated by Mr. Messy playing the organ, and he use to watch him closely, not realizing that he had a talent for music himself. He said he use to think “I want to be like him one day”. Mr. Messy ended up taking him under his wing and teaching him to play, and P became part of the family. He told me last night at the visitation that he would call Mister’s parents when he had a problem or needed someone to talk to and they would talk to him and pray with and for him. 

Another young man that sang a song, said he lost his Dad when he was a young child. And he gained another Dad when he met Mr. Messy. He also gained another mother figure and 2 brothers, Mister and Brother, and basically a whole ‘nother family. This young man is a professional singer now, and is hard to pin down because he travels a lot, singing. But he has made time over the last few months since Mister’s Mom died, to visit and chat with Mr. Messy. The song he sang was powerful.

There are other young men that grew up with Mister and his brother, that became like family, because Mister’s parents took an interest in them and showed them love.

So in that way, they left a legacy of sorts, with all of the people their children’s ages, whose lives they touched in a positive way.

Mr. Messy’s oldest sister has dementia, she was seated in a wheel chair right across the aisle from me. She’s always been sweet to me when I’d see her at Mister’s parents’ house. Today, in between her tears, she’d reach across the aisle to get my attention, and ask if I was okay or hand me a tissue. That warmed my heart, that she even remembered who I was, first of all, but that even in her grief and being upset, she kept trying to check on me.

Aunt D is so, so sad. She has shared some things with me this past week, about why she thought her younger brother was the perfect brother. I really wish she and I had gotten to know one another sooner. Over this past week or so, we’ve hugged a hundred times, held hands, and walked arm in arm. Her daughter told Mister today that she doesn’t know what he’s gon do, but whatever he does, they are keeping me lol. Aunt D had said something similar last week and I told her she’s stuck with me now. 

It’s been a day. I have a rant coming. I’ll make that a separate post.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 13, 2023 17:18:49 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I have some questions as I start to tie up loose ends in advance of leaving my current employer in the not-so-distant future. hoping nobody minds if I post about them here? doesn't seem worthy of its own thread.     I have direct deposit, so I don't often check the ADP site. 

1. vacation payout - are payroll taxes taken out on vacation payout upon severance? I just input the three days I need for a long weekend in a couple weeks to head to another music festival, and as of now still have three full weeks of vacation time with nothing else planned through year end. there's also 8 sick days, which I'd lose upon leaving. so those mental health days where I've really just had enough? those will be billed as sick days now. 

2. "adjustments" - what does this actually mean? I have a handful of these line items in my ADP ledger, all dated August 9th. various amounts are listed under "gross" and there's nothing under take-home. is this possibly related to stock transactions pertaining to a secondary bonus? the "gross" number isn't small, so I'm a little concerned. 

Yes.  I have always had payroll taxes taken out of my vacation pay.  It has been done each of 2 ways.  Once all my vacation was dumped into my last paycheck.  That meant whatever algorithm they use to calculate taxes assumed I made 2.5x the salary I did, and took out proportionally more taxes.  The other way, vacation was sent as a separate check.  

One thing you might want to check on, if you have not yet given notice is finding out how far in advance your healthcare is covered.  One job I had, if you worked one day in the month you were covered for the full month.  If your last day was the day earlier, your health insurance stopped then.  As a result, I (obviously) set my last day as the first of the month, started my new job a week later and had seamless health insurance.  As it turned out, all my other benefits (like vacation) were added the first day too so I scored another 2 days of pay since I was earning 5 weeks/year by then.

Your second item I’m clueless about.  Maybe call HR?

[countrygirl2]

We are very concerned with dementia on hubs side. His mom, her 2 brothers, and a sister, her grandma, and possibly her great grandmother had it. But I think a lot of MIL's was not eating right for over 10 years. I've said before it appeared she lived on cheap $1 pizzas and cheap ice cream. When I came up I would often take her food over. Hubs told me I bet she didn't eat any of it. Some I found in her freezer when cleaning it out, so he was right.  She would not cooperate with anything, nothing. She was in such a rut, not read, not change anything. You tried to talk to her, just over and over the same tired stuff. It was sad. She did walk everyday, but the good that did was undone by her poor eating habits.  Nothing could be done with her or her sister.

I have a high school friend from my class with Parkisons and possibly diabetes in a nursing home. It's a locked dementia unit. She did know me but I haven't been over there in 2 years. She had her moments, I was in there one day and she told me she wasn't doing well, than in a few minutes she slipped into knowing we both had to work. I want to go see her but not sure I can handle it. She and her husband had many many years of sickness but had decent jobs. They had a beautiful home and raised only one son. I heard he tries to get down and see his folks when he can. He is a pilot and ended up divorced, he had wanted them to move close to him so he could help them and they would not. Her husband still goes and sees her I think almost daily but he is quite ill too. At least we haven't ended up in a situation like that in our prime years, nor now, but I know we are slipping physically. Yet it could be so much worse. Long as I have my cognitive facilities and can remain mobile, that's good.

[chiver78]

Sept 13, 2023 17:30:49 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Sept 13, 2023 17:18:49 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I have some questions as I start to tie up loose ends in advance of leaving my current employer in the not-so-distant future. hoping nobody minds if I post about them here? doesn't seem worthy of its own thread.     I have direct deposit, so I don't often check the ADP site. 

1. vacation payout - are payroll taxes taken out on vacation payout upon severance? I just input the three days I need for a long weekend in a couple weeks to head to another music festival, and as of now still have three full weeks of vacation time with nothing else planned through year end. there's also 8 sick days, which I'd lose upon leaving. so those mental health days where I've really just had enough? those will be billed as sick days now. 

2. "adjustments" - what does this actually mean? I have a handful of these line items in my ADP ledger, all dated August 9th. various amounts are listed under "gross" and there's nothing under take-home. is this possibly related to stock transactions pertaining to a secondary bonus? the "gross" number isn't small, so I'm a little concerned. 

Yes.  I have always had payroll taxes taken out of my vacation pay.  It has been done each of 2 ways.  Once all my vacation was dumped into my last paycheck.  That meant whatever algorithm they use to calculate taxes assumed I made 2.5x the salary I did, and took out proportionally more taxes.  The other way, vacation was sent as a separate check.  

One thing you might want to check on, if you have not yet given notice is finding out how far in advance your healthcare is covered.  One job I had, if you worked one day in the month you were covered for the full month.  If your last day was the day earlier, your health insurance stopped then.  As a result, I (obviously) set my last day as the first of the month, started my new job a week later and had seamless health insurance.  As it turned out, all my other benefits (like vacation) were added the first day too so I scored another 2 days of pay since I was earning 5 weeks/year by then.

Your second item I’m clueless about.  Maybe call HR?

yeah, it's not immediate. I still haven't seen the "HR warning letter" my boss hinted at before Labor Day. so this may not be a thing, idk. if I'm still around in November during open enrollment, I'm not buying an extra week. that's asking for shit to get messed up on exit. 

I do believe we're covered for the month if we're employed 1 day during the month. whatever the typical accommodations are for health insurance, pharma companies are always on the most generous end of the scale. but I'd obviously sanity check that before putting in notice. it's definitely helpful to have a boss that I can bounce this stuff off of, b/c this isn't a surprise to him. 

[Pink Cashmere]

So my rant is about the cemetery. I told y’all Mister paid an extra $400 due to his request that his Dad be buried as close to his Mom as possible. The day we were at the cemetery and paid them, the lady helping us looked at the plots on her computer and said that the space directly in front of his Mom was available. Great! Even though I don’t know why that cost $400.

So today, after the ceremony at the cemetery was done, somebody went looking for Mister’s Mom’s grave. We saw the freshly dug hole for his Dad, so she should be close, right? Then Mister told me that the cemetery had called him and changed the location for his Dad, one spot over from the one directly in front of his Mom. By then, about 10 people were looking for his Mom’s grave. She doesn’t have a tombstone yet, we were told it could take up to a year for it to be made and placed.

So Mister and I drove around to the office, asking where was his Mom’s grave. I’m not even gon fuss about what an ordeal that was. So they printed off the plots and had us follow someone back out to the site, so they could show us where her grave was. Except the spot marked on the paper had some flowers and a temporary marker withs someone else’s name on it. TF?! By then, Mister’s Dad’s casket had been put in the ground and a crew was refilling the hole. So the young lady we followed and one of the men from that crew, determined that Mom’s grave had to be directly in front of where they were burying Mister’s Dad. I was appalled and before I could stop myself, I said “so basically nobody knows WHERE she is, right?” 

I was already looking crazy because I was taught that it’s disrespectful to walk on people’s graves. But they have the graves packed so closely together, that there are no paths and no way to avoid walking on people’s graves. That’s bad enough, but to not even know exactly where someone is buried, because what their computers show doesn’t match what’s actually out there? How the fuck is that okay?

I was really upset and outraged about that, but I didn’t want to further upset Mister or his brother, because Brother had hung around for us to come back from the office, so I dialed it back. The employees out there weren’t the correct people to raise hell with anyway. The young lady that went out there with us said she’d make sure the ladies in the office corrected it in the computer. I have zero confidence in that happening. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I made sweet potato apple soup it's really good!