what are you doing right now?

[Cookies Galore]

Aug 31, 2023 21:58:49 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'll happily contribute to bail. They deserve whatever you give them.

On a different topic I'm embarrassed. Turns out I have not changed our AC filter in quite awhile.

That was forcing the unit to work harder.

It's fine now.

So yay it's working so no need to replace it for the time being but wow. 😳

Life has been crazy! Give yourself a break. I know people who haven't changed their filter for a year simply because they didn't know.

I keep a post-it on my cabinet so I can jot down when I change our filter.

[Cookies Galore]

Aug 31, 2023 22:50:29 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 31, 2023 22:11:38 GMT -5 CCL said:

Just finally got a chance to check in.

Pink, I'm so sorry to hear Mister’s Dad is back in the hospital. I hope they can find something to help him or at least to keep him comfortable. I almost cried when you said you were playing music and rubbing his head. I'm sure that was very comforting to him.

That is what they are asking the family to make decisions about, whether to keep trying to treat him even though it’s unlikely he will get better, or just try to keep him as comfortable as they can, until he passes. 

The nurse and the Doctor that came to talk to us, both mentioned that he seems very unhappy with all the tubes and the oxygen mask. They have his arms restrained. The nurse said that she removed the restraints when she first got to work this morning, to see how he would do, and he immediately took off the oxygen mask and tried to remove the IV’s and everything else, so she had to put the restraints back on. I believe her because he took his IV out and took his neck brace off the last time we know of that he was in the hospital, less than a week ago. 

Imo, it is up to Mister to decide what he thinks or knows his Dad would want in a situation like this. With my Grandmother, my Mom and my Aunt both agreed that that knew my Grandmother wouldn’t want them doing all the stuff they were doing to try to “save” her, with that freezing process, especially since the odds were that even if she survived, she was likely to be a vegetable. She was 85yo, they weren’t going to do anything to actually try to fix her heart, just keep her alive. So my Mom and my Aunt told them to stop the procedure. 

I just happened to have a good friend from high school was a nurse that worked on the floor my Grandmother was on. I called my friend and begged her to talk to me as a friend, and not as a professional. And she did. She told me that even if my Grandmother somehow survived that episode, it was going to keep happening until she didn’t. She also told me that Doctors and nurses had an issue with my Mom and my Aunt telling them to stop, because their Mother wouldn’t have wanted any of that. I was present when everything was explained to my Mom and my Aunt and they told them what my Grandmother would want. I had no issue with them saying what they said, and I supported whatever decision they felt was the right thing for my Grandmother and what she would have wanted if she could’ve spoken for herself.

My friend said she told them “We say that we want our patients’ families to be involved in their care and decisions, and that’s what this family is doing, so what’s the problem”.  While they were saying that behind our backs, they were also always commenting on how somebody was always there with my Grandmother, 24/7, and that wasn’t the norm with their patients. So she obviously had family that really cared about her, why not respect that her daughters stood up for what they knew she would’ve wanted? 

I call Mister’s Dad Mr. Messy, because of his behavior over the last 12 months. But at the end of the day, I know how much Mister loves him, and how important he is to Mister. His selfish nature has become obvious over the last year, but even with all of that, he’s not what I consider a bad person, even though he started getting on my nerves majorly.

So yes, I was and am willing to hold his hand, and rub his head and speak softly to him while playing music I think he will enjoy. I feel like physical touch means something when it’s given with love, and especially when it’s the only way to show somebody that you are there with them. Regardless of all the chaos he’s brought to my home, and him being crazy with Mister and pissing me off, I don’t want this for him. 

You're a good egg, Pink. I did not like my FIL and resented him for a long time how he would take advantage of his son/my husband. Even when he was first diagnosed with ALS I couldn't shake my feelings because he was such a selfish person and still took advantage of people. But I really didn't like how my sisters-in-law took advantage of him while his illness was getting worse (charging things on his credit card, guilting him into giving him what they felt they were "owed"), but I kept my mouth shut for my husband's sake and just did what he needed me to do for him and no one else. As much as I fantasized about telling FIL off on his death bed, I just sat with him and whispered in his ear that he raised a wonderful man. I'm glad that's the last thing I said to him, aside from saying it's okay to leave.

I still get laugh whenever I remember one of his last days. He had a catheter that must have been bothering him, and with his only arm that had some movement left, he tried to pull it out but instead only succeeded in lifting up his gown and exposing everyone, lol.

[Artemis Windsong]

Pink - hugs and blessings to you and your Mister.

[Deleted]

We have advanced directives.  It's always a crap shoot if we end up at the wrong hospital in our final days as some Catholic-affiliated ones will not honor it, but that's out of our control - the ambulance rolls where it rolls depending on case load at each hospital.  At least we have no family to interfere with our wishes.  If it's my decision to make, it will be very hard but it would be what he wants.  

[Artemis Windsong]

Swear word.  I am new to Ibotta.  I didn't know I had to link my account with Walmart to Ibotta.  I only bought one item that would have a rebate for about half that I missed out on.  Since I ordered for pick up, I had to print out the receipt to scan for Fetch.  Well, the print was so small that the date didn't show clearly.  Maybe I will get my points later.

I was scheduled for 11 to `12 pickup.  It wasn't ready so I went to Sam's Club.  Their 6 lb boxes of tortilla chips were nearly out.    Then, all the water I drink said I need a ladies room.  I went to Taco Bell afterward because I knew it wouldn't be ready.  The 3rd call they answered.  I did have an AB to listen to while I waited.

When I got home, tired, crabby.  Grateful for being able to buy the items I needed.

[andi9899]

I was talking to my dad earlier. Apparently my drug addicted cousin's wife got tired of supporting him. She told him to get out because she was tired of him not having a job and her doing everything. He beat her and I'm sure he's out of the house. I hope she called the police and let them deal with him. It's safer for him to go to jail than to let her brothers get ahold of him. I'm kinda hoping they do get him and toss him around a little before the cops get him.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I’m done.
Usually I do Costco and the grocery stores on separate days.  I don’t know why I thought it would be good to do both together.  It didn’t help that the Costco run included kitty litter and cases of beans.  Both stores were very busy.  

Last t8me we went to Costco, they were out of litter.  This time, there was only about 8 bags left.  I took 2, which is good for awhile.  There was a time right before Covid that we had something like 400 lbs.  TD would see it on sale and grab a couple, then forget he grabbed them and grab more.  When I was taking stock before things shut down, all pooping supplies for us, the dog and cat were well stocked!

[andi9899]

Currently counting down the next hour. I'm logging off early and going to a happy hour with a friend.

[Cookies Galore]

Going to happy hour for my birthday and then having porch cocktails since it's such a nice day. I went to Nordstrom for a little treat myself and bought some Oribe hair products (moisturizing shine cream and wave spray), and the woman checking me out grabbed one of those gift with purchase bags from the Clinique counter for me. And a random woman in the mall complimented my glasses. Good birthday so far!

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 1, 2023 14:27:59 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Going to happy hour for my birthday and then having porch cocktails since it's such a nice day. I went to Nordstrom for a little treat myself and bought some Oribe hair products (moisturizing shine cream and wave spray), and the woman checking me out grabbed one of those gift with purchase bags from the Clinique counter for me. And a random woman in the mall complimented my glasses. Good birthday so far!

Happy Birthday!🎉🎉🎉

[daisylu]

Sept 1, 2023 8:45:01 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 31, 2023 20:31:10 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Yeah, we don’t. 

He’s going to be SOL whenever their Dad does pass. I doubt their Dad has insurance to pay the mortgage off upon his death and Mister has no interest in the house and no reason to try to hang on to it. Brother can’t afford it, and if the house is gone, so is his business space he had built in the back yard years ago. He can take all his expensive equipment out of the business space, and I guess put it in storage or something, idk.

Dad only has 1 life insurance policy that we know of, and even though their Mom’s funeral wasn’t fancy, it cost more than the amount of life insurance their Dad has. At least she did leave enough to cover all of her final expenses, even though the cemetery had to be paid up front, $3k that Mister paid himself, and was not reimbursed for when his Dad received the rest of the money from her life insurance policies. 

If Brother thinks there will be any money for him whenever their Dad dies, he should think again. There’s not even enough to have a funeral and bury him with, there is no equity in the house because they just refinanced it last year, and the car Dad financed last year, he paid more than it was worth, with a high interest rate, so it’s going bye bye too, and that’s what Brother has been driving.

I can see Brother feeling kind of desperate since they aren’t expecting their Dad to get any better and seem to be saying he’s going to die sooner rather than later, without coming out and explicitly saying it. 

I just can't imagine being that age and being so dependent on my parents. Since Mister is older, I'm assuming Brother is roughly my age (44) or a little older. He's a grown ass man that has absolutely nothing?!

My sister is 44, I am 48. I've lived my life and took care of things on my own and my mom still supports sister. Sister now has money, but mom still does so much for her - with zero gratitude or care about mom's health. Part of why I'm torn or how much I can be involved without damaging my item mental health.

[minnesotapaintlady]

I'm home already!  Yay!  We got up there early and the landlord wasn't doing anything so came over to let us in early to unload the van.  Then I just had to drop DS off at his training and head back.  No waiting around for hours or leaving during rush hour.  I even had time to stop at my insurance guys office and get a rental insurance policy put in place before they closed. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister’s Aunt D (the one that was at the hospital yesterday) text me this morning to ask how Mister is doing. She was at the hospital and said Mr. Messy’s heart rate hasn’t dropped back very low again so far, his blood pressure is higher than it was yesterday, but that’s only because of the meds they are giving him to try to raise it. To me, it sounds like the meds are worker better today than they were yesterday if his blood pressure has increased some. She didn’t mention his oxygen, I assume that meant it’s still low.

She text me again to tell me favorite niece had just got there. I’ve never heard niece sing, but the family has always raved about her singing. Last night when Mister was playing his Dad’s favorite gospel group, one of the songs he played, he said that’s favorite nieces song, they love hearing her sing it.

So Aunt D said when favorite niece got there today, she started singing for Mr. Messy and he managed to give a thumbs up. I thought that was awesome! Music has always been a big part of his life, as a musician himself, and as a listener. We played music for him last night, but his niece singing for him seems more personal, and even better. I’m glad she did it and that he was aware and could show he was enjoying it.

[jerseygirl]

Happy birthday cookies!

[Deleted]

Cookies Galore  Happy Birthday

[ners]

Pink Cashmere    My mother suffered from dementia.  The one thing that calmed her was listening to music.  

[ners]

Happy Birthday Cookies Galore 

[Deleted]

I just finished my monthly mani/pedi and it was awesome as usual.  The place was packed, all technicians and chairs busy.  Even some nice eye candy in one guy getting the deluxe everything.  He was a fine dresser too, with linen shorts and shirt.

[Deleted]

countrygirl2  Thanks for sharing the info about some home health services being covered by Medicare. That could be very helpful if we were in a situation where we needed dressing changes, injections, physical therapy and such.  If push comes to shove, I can hire a bi-weekly cleaning service, and we already have a landscaper for the yard.  I know our clinic offers some medical transport services too.  

Our biggest barrier to aging in place will be lack of a walk-in shower, and that will probably change when we move to an apartment.  

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 1, 2023 16:19:28 GMT -5 ners said:

Pink Cashmere     My mother suffered from dementia.  The one thing that calmed her was listening to music.  

I love music myself, and I do believe it can be very powerful, in good ways.

[catsareme]

🎂 Happy Birthday Cookies Galore! 

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 1, 2023 16:32:54 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

countrygirl2   Thanks for sharing the info about some home health services being covered by Medicare. That could be very helpful if we were in a situation where we needed dressing changes, injections, physical therapy and such.  If push comes to shove, I can hire a bi-weekly cleaning service, and we already have a landscaper for the yard.  I know our clinic offers some medical transport services too.  

Our biggest barrier to aging in place will be lack of a walk-in shower, and that will probably change when we move to an apartment.  

Forgive me please, but I don’t remember why you and your DH plan on eventually moving into an apartment. I recall you saying something about it before, do you mind sharing your reasons for making that the plan?

Feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I’m being too nosey.

[ners]

Sept 1, 2023 16:34:14 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 1, 2023 16:19:28 GMT -5 ners said:

Pink Cashmere     My mother suffered from dementia.  The one thing that calmed her was listening to music.  

I love music myself, and I do believe it can be very powerful, in good ways.

The staff at her nursing home knew to play one of her cds if she was really agitated.  I used to go and feed her on Saturday evenings, and we would listen to her polka CDs.

[Deleted]

And it's official!  Houston only had 3 days under 100 degrees (one 97, two 99's) during August.  We had a number of new record highs and lows as well, with a couple of 108 and 109 days.  

[Pink Cashmere]

On top of everything else, Mister’s sciatic nerve is giving him the blues. It started bothering him yesterday. I knew it was bad when we were at the hospital the first time yesterday, and he cooperated when I insisted he sit down and I’d stand up. When he sat down, he said “just give me 10 minutes”. But I refused to sit back down after the 10 minutes.

The way he is, men don’t sit while women stand, so I knew he had to be in some serious pain. By the time we left the hospital the second time last night, he was walking slow and limping. 

Today, he’s been saying the pain has gotten even worse. I’ve heard people that have those issues talk about how bad it is, so I feel for him, I know that one time I was having nerve pain in my arm when he made me go to the ER, I would’ve been just fine with it if somebody just chopped my arm off to stop the pain. Nerve pain is the WORST thing I’ve ever experienced. My old ass would rather give natural birth again than deal with that kind of pain.

With everything that’s gone on these past 12 months, I’ve done a lot of worrying about Mister. I’m really worried now with this stuff with his Dad. And now Mister being in so much physical pain. Please pray for him, send good vibes his way, or whatever positive thing you believe in.

[NastyWoman]

Happy birthday Cookie 

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2023 16:36:27 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 1, 2023 16:32:54 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

countrygirl2   Thanks for sharing the info about some home health services being covered by Medicare. That could be very helpful if we were in a situation where we needed dressing changes, injections, physical therapy and such.  If push comes to shove, I can hire a bi-weekly cleaning service, and we already have a landscaper for the yard.  I know our clinic offers some medical transport services too.  

Our biggest barrier to aging in place will be lack of a walk-in shower, and that will probably change when we move to an apartment.  

Forgive me please, but I don’t remember why you and your DH plan on eventually moving into an apartment. I recall you saying something about it before, do you mind sharing your reasons for making that the plan?

Feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I’m being too nosey.

No nosey at all.  Our home, like all but particularly older homes, needs constant maintenance which is time- and money-consuming.  Siding has to be painted at some point ($10,000+), fencing needs to be replaced in next 5 years ($10,000+).  AC/heater, generator, alarm system, camera system, sprinkler system, landscaping, trees-all are ongoing maintenance items.  If and when the sanitary sewer line fails, it's a $15,000-$20,000 expense.  Right now, together we can handle some of the landscaping work like shrub maintenance and bulb changes on the outdoor lighting, but the crazy hot temps this year have made it a challenge.  And my/our connections to the neighborhood have been greatly reduced as friends moved away or became non-friends due to my involvement with our community association.  An apartment won't necessarily be cheaper, but it will be a turnkey proposition with many costs lumped into the monthly rent except utilities, alarm system, cleaning service, and garage space.  One or the other of us could be left alone at some point, and continuing life in an apartment would be far easier than in a house.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 1, 2023 16:53:36 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Sept 1, 2023 16:36:27 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Forgive me please, but I don’t remember why you and your DH plan on eventually moving into an apartment. I recall you saying something about it before, do you mind sharing your reasons for making that the plan?

Feel free to tell me to mind my own business if I’m being too nosey.

No nosey at all.  Our home, like all but particularly older homes, needs constant maintenance which is time- and money-consuming.  Siding has to be painted at some point ($10,000+), fencing needs to be replaced in next 5 years ($10,000+).  AC/heater, generator, alarm system, camera system, sprinkler system, landscaping, trees-all are ongoing maintenance items.  If and when the sanitary sewer line fails, it's a $15,000-$20,000 expense.  Right now, together we can handle some of the landscaping work like shrub maintenance and bulb changes on the outdoor lighting, but the crazy hot temps this year have made it a challenge.  And my/our connections to the neighborhood have been greatly reduced as friends moved away or became non-friends due to my involvement with our community association.  An apartment won't necessarily be cheaper, but it will be a turnkey proposition with many costs lumped into the monthly rent except utilities, alarm system, cleaning service, and garage space.  One or the other of us could be left alone at some point, and continuing life in an apartment would be far easier than in a house.

Got it. I’m not getting any younger, and I value whatever I can learn about preparing for my future, that I might not have thought of. I’ve never wanted to live in an apartment as an adult, and I was curious about why you think that’s a better option for your future than staying in your house.

I understand your POV, thank you for sharing.

[Peace77]

Soupandstew,

What about a condo?

[seriousthistime]

Sept 1, 2023 16:32:54 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

countrygirl2   Thanks for sharing the info about some home health services being covered by Medicare. That could be very helpful if we were in a situation where we needed dressing changes, injections, physical therapy and such.  If push comes to shove, I can hire a bi-weekly cleaning service, and we already have a landscaper for the yard.  I know our clinic offers some medical transport services too.  

Our biggest barrier to aging in place will be lack of a walk-in shower, and that will probably change when we move to an apartment.  

This is true, as long as it is skilled care (i.e., the services of a nurse or  therapist) that is medically necessary and is certified by a physician or physician's assistant, and you are homebound.  I may be confusing you with someone else, but if you have a Medicare Advantage plan, you would want to look at your plan's coverage. The Medicare Advantage plans are supposed to cover whatever Original Medicare Parts A and B cover, but the co-pays could be different.