what are you doing right now?

[bean29]

Sept 1, 2023 5:32:53 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Learned last night that DH, who I often have to find things for on the internet, has learned how to track flights since I've been traveling more. In a concerned way. ❤️ I will send him flight numbers going forward to make it easier. (He has a very big fear of flying.)

Yeah, my DD travels a lot and she does that too. If he is picking you up from airport, I am sure knowing it is delayed 30 minutes is helpful.

[giramomma]

Finn, I also think about Athena.

And, she was generous with me as well. It's a kindness I haven't forgotten.

[ners]

Just a quick hello.  Behind schedule as usual.  

[chiver78]

another super early day here, I woke up around 2 and never really fell back to sleep. oh well. I'll get a nap in somewhere this afternoon. my friend K is coming down at some point, to crash here and we're gonna hit a beach somewhere tomorrow. 

but first!    the am vet appointment for LD! 

[wvugurl26]

I think some airports have different xray tools in place. I am straight up spoiled by global entry and BWI. There have been multiple times where they didn't even want my boarding pass just my ID.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

In my very slight defense with the filter I bought three month ones and it was due right around all the chaos with my mom.  Then I promptly forgot I hadn't changed it for apparently a year.  [img src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png" class="smile" alt="[img class="smile" alt="[img class="smile" alt="" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png"]" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png"]"]   Programming a reminder in my phone is not a bad idea.

DH and a couple co-workers put a finger on why I don't like the idea of being a Micro tech.  It's a consolation prize.  If you were really that impressed with my resume why was I edged out.  It feels like someone is trying to have their cake and eat it too.   I know all the ways it would benefit THEM to have me switch but I haven't been offered anything except the "well if there is a position you can apply!" spiel for how it would benefit me to move.

If it was a pipeline to be groomed to be an Associate that would be one thing.  But they are being just as cagey as it can be down here.  I have heard the line "Oh well we'll get you out to other stuff and IF there is ever a position open you can apply".   So now I am stuck as a tech for you for an indeterminate amount of time.

Add onto that their director got fired which means a major shake up is coming because a new guy will want to put his stamp on it I feel like I should see how that plays out first.

I may not make associate down here either but at the moment I feel like this is the better option.  I got my foot into the company I don't need to rush after a year to try to shake it up.   Let's see what happens down here in the coming months.

Maybe another associate will open up and I will try again.   But I'm not settling for a booby prize that has little benefit on my end career wise.  You want me that badly I should have been hired at the level my experience and knowledge are worth.

ETA:  And all the overall personnel shifting gives me pause too.  I know why one tech left but they have had A LOT of turnover and now the director got fired.  Like frog marched off fired.  I am not super keen to leap into that fire.   Also some comments made about those situations during my interview with reassurances it would be "handled" made me raise my eyebrow.

[daisylu]

Sept 1, 2023 7:26:00 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

I think some airports have different xray tools in place. I am straight up spoiled by global entry and BWI. There have been multiple times where they didn't even want my boarding pass just my ID.

Same. So far, I've been lucky that BWI has had open last minute flights. Hopefully manager gets his stuff together soon and I can stop with all the last minute BS.

[lurkyloo]

finnime I am glad to know that about athena.  I hope she’s doing well.  The boards have been quiet lately.

My BFF and I were not-quite joking about my mother (bro apparently called for a welfare check, I am assessing feasibility on flying out for a weekend-but don’t want to bother if she won’t let us in the house) that her hobbies still all basically boiled down to feeling superior and being overly judgmental.  Having been steeped in that for a couple of decades I expect I am still oversensitive to any echoes of it encountered down the line    Which is probably hypocritical of me, I’m sure I haven’t stamped it all out in myself either.

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 31, 2023 21:02:36 GMT -5 busymom said:

Pink Cashmere , I am so sorry for everything you & Mister are dealing with right now.  


And, to answer your question, greed does crazy things to people.  It almost sounds like brother is already counting the money...

The money he isn't going to get.  

BIL's had a SIL who called to see when the estate would be settled and asked how much they would get after his mother died.  Nothing.  Nada.  Every penny from the sale of their farm went to the nursing home.  

All she had was what was in the room at the nursing home.  He told her she was welcome to that.  He had boxed it up and she could have it.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Now I am 100% comfortable with my decision. I asked them outright what their techs do vs what I do down here.  Their techs are glorified prep and cleaning people.  I'd be doing even less than I do down here with "potential" to do more but that is "in the future".

I am not interested.  That does not help my career trajectory and potentially pushes farther back than ever.   Down here I already am primary on one bench test and we're going to explore fitting more into my day. 

So I'd rather stay here for the time being because while my title isn't growing there has been progress even if it is a small step forward.  That's better than about five steps backwards with the hope I will even get back to where I am right now "someday".

[andi9899]

Aug 31, 2023 20:31:10 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 31, 2023 19:08:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Greed and desperation for money.  Don't trust him at all.

Yeah, we don’t. 

He’s going to be SOL whenever their Dad does pass. I doubt their Dad has insurance to pay the mortgage off upon his death and Mister has no interest in the house and no reason to try to hang on to it. Brother can’t afford it, and if the house is gone, so is his business space he had built in the back yard years ago. He can take all his expensive equipment out of the business space, and I guess put it in storage or something, idk.

Dad only has 1 life insurance policy that we know of, and even though their Mom’s funeral wasn’t fancy, it cost more than the amount of life insurance their Dad has. At least she did leave enough to cover all of her final expenses, even though the cemetery had to be paid up front, $3k that Mister paid himself, and was not reimbursed for when his Dad received the rest of the money from her life insurance policies. 

If Brother thinks there will be any money for him whenever their Dad dies, he should think again. There’s not even enough to have a funeral and bury him with, there is no equity in the house because they just refinanced it last year, and the car Dad financed last year, he paid more than it was worth, with a high interest rate, so it’s going bye bye too, and that’s what Brother has been driving.

I can see Brother feeling kind of desperate since they aren’t expecting their Dad to get any better and seem to be saying he’s going to die sooner rather than later, without coming out and explicitly saying it. 

I just can't imagine being that age and being so dependent on my parents. Since Mister is older, I'm assuming Brother is roughly my age (44) or a little older. He's a grown ass man that has absolutely nothing?!

[lurkyloo]

My father was also restrained because he wouldn’t leave the oxygen mask and IVs alone.  It was really disturbing to see that.  

Bringing back a lot of memories of that time…he was desperate to watch a few specific episodes of The Americans and my brother had brought over the dvd set but wasn’t able to get the dvd to play on the screen.  I managed to download them onto my tablet and persuade DS that Grandpa needed it more than he did.  We were communicating with him by the little whiteboard I’d brought along-he’d been pretty deaf for a long time and was having trouble speaking clearly-and when we went to leave he used to whiteboard to communicate that he wanted to keep watching.  I left the ipad in the care of the family friend who brought my mother down since they were staying much later, so he could continue watching for a while.  And I am so glad I did.  That was the last real communication I had with him, besides saying goodnight,  he never regained consciousness after they transferred him to hospice. 

[TheOtherMe]

I have been on my own since I graduated with my bachelor's degree.  I paid my own way through college but stayed with mom and dad when I was working and going to school in the evening.  I did qualify as being independent for student loans.

I can't imagine relying so much on other people at that age.

[Deleted]

Pink Cashmere  I am so glad you and Mister got to spend quality time with Mister's dad last night without a possible confrontation with Brother.  Brother's continuing pattern of actions (sneaky texts etc) only confirms your suspicions of his motives.  

Like you, I suspect the "caring" spirit of Dad's relatives will stop short of helping with final expenses or even preparing food for a family gathering.  They seem to be a bit larger in spirit than in action.  

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Aug 31, 2023 22:50:29 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 31, 2023 22:11:38 GMT -5 CCL said:

Just finally got a chance to check in.

Pink, I'm so sorry to hear Mister’s Dad is back in the hospital. I hope they can find something to help him or at least to keep him comfortable. I almost cried when you said you were playing music and rubbing his head. I'm sure that was very comforting to him.

That is what they are asking the family to make decisions about, whether to keep trying to treat him even though it’s unlikely he will get better, or just try to keep him as comfortable as they can, until he passes. 

The nurse and the Doctor that came to talk to us, both mentioned that he seems very unhappy with all the tubes and the oxygen mask. They have his arms restrained. The nurse said that she removed the restraints when she first got to work this morning, to see how he would do, and he immediately took off the oxygen mask and tried to remove the IV’s and everything else, so she had to put the restraints back on. I believe her because he took his IV out and took his neck brace off the last time we know of that he was in the hospital, less than a week ago. 

Imo, it is up to Mister to decide what he thinks or knows his Dad would want in a situation like this. With my Grandmother, my Mom and my Aunt both agreed that that knew my Grandmother wouldn’t want them doing all the stuff they were doing to try to “save” her, with that freezing process, especially since the odds were that even if she survived, she was likely to be a vegetable. She was 85yo, they weren’t going to do anything to actually try to fix her heart, just keep her alive. So my Mom and my Aunt told them to stop the procedure. 

I just happened to have a good friend from high school was a nurse that worked on the floor my Grandmother was on. I called my friend and begged her to talk to me as a friend, and not as a professional. And she did. She told me that even if my Grandmother somehow survived that episode, it was going to keep happening until she didn’t. She also told me that Doctors and nurses had an issue with my Mom and my Aunt telling them to stop, because their Mother wouldn’t have wanted any of that. I was present when everything was explained to my Mom and my Aunt and they told them what my Grandmother would want. I had no issue with them saying what they said, and I supported whatever decision they felt was the right thing for my Grandmother and what she would have wanted if she could’ve spoken for herself.

My friend said she told them “We say that we want our patients’ families to be involved in their care and decisions, and that’s what this family is doing, so what’s the problem”.  While they were saying that behind our backs, they were also always commenting on how somebody was always there with my Grandmother, 24/7, and that wasn’t the norm with their patients. So she obviously had family that really cared about her, why not respect that her daughters stood up for what they knew she would’ve wanted? 

I call Mister’s Dad Mr. Messy, because of his behavior over the last 12 months. But at the end of the day, I know how much Mister loves him, and how important he is to Mister. His selfish nature has become obvious over the last year, but even with all of that, he’s not what I consider a bad person, even though he started getting on my nerves majorly.

So yes, I was and am willing to hold his hand, and rub his head and speak softly to him while playing music I think he will enjoy. I feel like physical touch means something when it’s given with love, and especially when it’s the only way to show somebody that you are there with them. Regardless of all the chaos he’s brought to my home, and him being crazy with Mister and pissing me off, I don’t want this for him. 

This is why you need to have your last wishes in writing.  Both TD and I have advanced directives that were written up with our wills.  With this, loved ones have a base to work from as there is a signed paper that this has been discussed.

There are families that think of $$ (including what further treatment may cost) rather than the person’s wishes.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Sept 1, 2023 5:56:18 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Sept 1, 2023 5:32:53 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Learned last night that DH, who I often have to find things for on the internet, has learned how to track flights since I've been traveling more. In a concerned way. ❤️ I will send him flight numbers going forward to make it easier. (He has a very big fear of flying.)

Yeah, my DD travels a lot and she does that too. If he is picking you up from airport, I am sure knowing it is delayed 30 minutes is helpful.

If you know the airline and the departure city, you can easily get this info too.  I don’t remember flight numbers, but I can remember connections (and many times, an airline connects through the same city).  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 1, 2023 9:06:22 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Pink Cashmere   I am so glad you and Mister got to spend quality time with Mister's dad last night without a possible confrontation with Brother.  Brother's continuing pattern of actions (sneaky texts etc) only confirms your suspicions of his motives.  

Like you, I suspect the "caring" spirit of Dad's relatives will stop short of helping with final expenses or even preparing food for a family gathering.  They seem to be a bit larger in spirit than in action.  

It's going to stop as soon as they figure out they won't get anything.  They'll stick around long enough to see if it's worth it.


The worst for me was when I started coming to the hospital so my dad could sleep.  I had left to get something to eat and I came back to them both asleep. You look your age when you are asleep. 

It really hit me that my parents are OLD.  They will continue to get older.  I will eventually (and did) lose them.  Staring my parents' mortality in the face was horrifying. 

I almost fled but my dad woke up and saw me so I stuffed my existential crisis down and walked back in.

It has never gone away if I am being totally honest with myself.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Hi friends, 
I've not read the last several pages as I've worked 60ish hours since Sunday afternoon. 
I'll try to catch up, but hugs for those who need them. 
I'm working from home today. 
I'm just now out of bed and having a cup of coffee. 

[Deleted]

We celebrated yesterday with breakfast at Denny's (first hashbrowns we've had in maybe 18 months?) and mid-afternoon food at our Lebanese grill - stuffed cabbage, grape leaves, fried cauliflower, hummus, baba ghanoush and pita bread.  And we brought home coconut pastries for dessert.  It was a very low-key day, just what we wanted.

[Anne_in_VA]

We had to go buy a new freezer to be delivered on Monday as my old one is dying.  It’s about 12 years old and the sales person said that they generally last about 8 to 10 years.  Now I need to go through the old one and throw out some frozen burned stuff and put the stuff we’re keeping in coolers on Monday morning.  We will need to let the new freezer come to temperature overnight so I need to borrow a couple of coolers.  We have one big one but need at least one more. 

other than that, nothing much is new with us.  I got my new car after almost 3 weeks of waiting.  They had to replace the rear view mirror as it was broken.  The part took over 2 weeks to come in then they had to find a glue to hold it on the windshield.  It was so hot and humid that the glue wouldn’t set up and the mirror kept falling off!  We finally had a couple of cooler and less humid days so it finally got fixed.  The car drives great and I love it!  DH drove it last night and he even liked it.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 1, 2023 9:18:28 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Aug 31, 2023 22:50:29 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

This is why you need to have your last wishes in writing.  Both TD and I have advanced directives that were written up with our wills.  With this, loved ones have a base to work from as there is a signed paper that this has been discussed.

There are families that think of $$ (including what further treatment may cost) rather than the person’s wishes.

I have an advance directive.  I was very upset when the stand alone place where I had my upper endoscopy does not honor advance directives.  I will have no more procedures there and I know it costs more at the hospital.

My niece is my medical POA.  We talk often about my wishes.  She is very aware of what I want and I believe she will abide by my wishes.

[finnime]

That sounds delightful, soupandstew.

[giramomma]

It is not a good day.

[NoNamePerson]

Sept 1, 2023 10:57:50 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It is not a good day.

Wish I could make it better. 

[taz157]

Sept 1, 2023 10:57:50 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It is not a good day.

((((Hugs)))) I hope it gets better.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 1, 2023 10:57:50 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It is not a good day.

I'm sorry.  

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 1, 2023 8:45:01 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 31, 2023 20:31:10 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Yeah, we don’t. 

He’s going to be SOL whenever their Dad does pass. I doubt their Dad has insurance to pay the mortgage off upon his death and Mister has no interest in the house and no reason to try to hang on to it. Brother can’t afford it, and if the house is gone, so is his business space he had built in the back yard years ago. He can take all his expensive equipment out of the business space, and I guess put it in storage or something, idk.

Dad only has 1 life insurance policy that we know of, and even though their Mom’s funeral wasn’t fancy, it cost more than the amount of life insurance their Dad has. At least she did leave enough to cover all of her final expenses, even though the cemetery had to be paid up front, $3k that Mister paid himself, and was not reimbursed for when his Dad received the rest of the money from her life insurance policies. 

If Brother thinks there will be any money for him whenever their Dad dies, he should think again. There’s not even enough to have a funeral and bury him with, there is no equity in the house because they just refinanced it last year, and the car Dad financed last year, he paid more than it was worth, with a high interest rate, so it’s going bye bye too, and that’s what Brother has been driving.

I can see Brother feeling kind of desperate since they aren’t expecting their Dad to get any better and seem to be saying he’s going to die sooner rather than later, without coming out and explicitly saying it. 

I just can't imagine being that age and being so dependent on my parents. Since Mister is older, I'm assuming Brother is roughly my age (44) or a little older. He's a grown ass man that has absolutely nothing?!

I think he turned 40 this year. Mister is older than his brother, but younger than me.

He was very successful and had plenty of money, until 5 or 6 years ago. He went through a nasty divorce, he fell apart and stopped making money with his business, and still hasn’t recovered. He hasn’t been able to get himself together since the divorce. He refuses to get a job even though his business isn’t doing too well anymore.

I’m just saying he hasn’t always been dependent on his parents. He was the one with money in the family, more income back then, than Mister’s is now, before his divorce. I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, how he is now. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 1, 2023 10:57:50 GMT -5 giramomma said:

It is not a good day.

[raeoflyte]

The company hasn't told us about the layoffs. Not even my boss has gotten official word. If my processor hadn't im'd during her hr call and if I didn't have the connections I do, I wouldn't know. This is insane.

[countrygirl2]

I know what hubs wants, but not sure I can do it. We have advanced directives too, will see how that goes. I just want to go period, not lay and suffer for months on end. Just want it to be quick, so does hubs.

Hubs is not feeling good this morning. I am screwed up with time again, never got it sorted out when out there and now off again. So I was asleep and heard hubs get back in bed after 10AM. WHAT! He has diarrhea he said and has lost 4 or 5 pounds overnight. Poor guy. Wish I had that problem, mine is the opposite. I am trying not to worry about him, but deep down I am. Well, we will know next week, so that is good.

Here is a picture of my little love, my Smoke. Both kitties were in bed with me this morning after hubs got up. Smoke all snuggled up and on his back.


www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=1495142081288810&set=a.950795469056810


I have so much to do and I'm sitting here.