what are you doing right now?

[daisylu]

Planning for the weekend. DH & I were invited to a 4 wheeler ride Sunday. DH is leaning toward not going, because the serial cheater guy that I do not like him being friends with may attend. He does not want to put me in a bad place. I appreciate that, but him compartmentalizing me is only going to make things worse and make me more resentful. The guy is actually likable, I just don't like DH being friends with a guy who has cheated on his wife since day 1. There will be many other people that I can focus on, and I don't want to miss that.

DH is likely also worried that I won't be able to bite my tongue. Normally, I would agree but I choose to have a good time. I just have to find a way to communicate that to DH.

Ironically, the guy and his wife likely won't go if I don't go because for some strange reason they like hanging out with me.

[chiver78]

Aug 31, 2023 17:23:24 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Struggling to stay awake. After my record breaking sleep yesterday I have now been awake for 26 hours. ButI have to make it for another 6-7 hours just to get back into a regular schedule. I have done weird and/or despised things like vacuuming the living room. Yes that was needed but there is a reason I have a cleaning lady. Today however I needed the noise and the activity more. 

I did go grocery shopping but postponed the laundry for another day. I just need to come up with ideas to get through these next couple of hours. If I take a nap now, that will be it...

shit. what was the overall time differential, and which direction did you travel? direction matters in how the body absorbs the change. hugs, lady. 

[chiver78]

I'm logged out of work for the weekend, and trying to wind down for the night while I use the "big screen" of my laptop to stream US Open tennis tonight. I'm very thankful that we have the appointment to get LD's staples out tomorrow, b/c he's spent this afternoon looking at me like WTF is the problem, and why am I in jail?     he still won't be totally free tomorrow, but I won't be so nuts about him wandering a little here and there. 

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 31, 2023 16:14:13 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Aug 31, 2023 16:03:53 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

My days stay mixed up, I didn’t realize until I just looked at my texts, that it was YESTERDAY morning that Brother said nothing was wrong with their Dad, and started talking about money, and their Dad was already in ICU. I am shook. I cant wrap my mind around that. Because what in the world?! Who DOES that kind of shit?!

If Mister puts the timing together, I am afraid he might lose it. Whyyyyyy would his brother do that?!

Greed and desperation for money.  Don't trust him at all.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 31, 2023 17:28:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 31, 2023 16:15:16 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Hugs, for all that want/need them. ❤

minnesotapaintlady - UGH. Try not to have too much fun, doing all that, in the heat. 🥵 I hope the temps are cooler for you.
You're a good mom.
How's your horse doing? (Gus?) Have you noticed much improvement since he's been getting regular ferrier visits?
I'd be a wreck if I had to sit in my car for 3 hours! Good luck.

Well, I don't actually have to just sit in the car if I don't want to. We'll be on campus so I can go for a walk or hang out in the bookstore.  Take my laptop and hang out here...just like any other day.

Gus is, "ok".  Not great.  He has his good days and bad days, and is definitely lame some of them, but not anything like he was where he could barely walk, so I guess that's good.  He had a stretch there back in July when he was acting 100%, but the past month or so he's declined some.

I went to pick up my neighbors from the store. I sat in my a/c car, using my phone and after 15 minutes, I was a maniac!
Mind you, I'd be doing the same thing at home. But the idea of not being confined/limited, is a huge struggle for me.
Glad to hear Gus has improved!
Take care, in your travels.

[giramomma]

I'm really ready for DH to take some of the load off of me.

A girl can dream.

[NastyWoman]

Aug 31, 2023 18:51:13 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Aug 31, 2023 17:23:24 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Struggling to stay awake. After my record breaking sleep yesterday I have now been awake for 26 hours. ButI have to make it for another 6-7 hours just to get back into a regular schedule. I have done weird and/or despised things like vacuuming the living room. Yes that was needed but there is a reason I have a cleaning lady. Today however I needed the noise and the activity more. 

I did go grocery shopping but postponed the laundry for another day. I just need to come up with ideas to get through these next couple of hours. If I take a nap now, that will be it...

shit. what was the overall time differential, and which direction did you travel? direction matters in how the body absorbs the change. hugs, lady. 

16 hours. I think I traveled east but I am not 100% sure. The one advantage I have is no work waiting for me. The disadvantage is that I am a notoriously bad sleeper.  Whatever, the trip was worth it and I'll get over it well before I fly to Europe in December.

[Pink Cashmere]

We are home from the hospital again. His Dad was awake the whole time we were there, his heart rate didn’t go nearly as low as it was when we first got there earlier today. His oxygen and blood pressure is still low though.

When we first got there, I stopped beside his bed and held his hand. He held mine tightly, and was staring at me, so I stood there for a minute talking to him. Then Mister came on his other side and I went and sat down.

He is a musician and plays keyboards and loves Aretha Franklin, so Mister played Aretha for him. Quietly, of course, to not disturb other people. He just laid his phone on his Dad’s pillow so he could hear it. When he would shake his head, I’d tell Mister to play another one. Then I told him to play “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and when it started playing, his Dad nodded his head. Then I suggested Mister play some music from his Dad’s favorite gospel group, which he did.

When Aretha was playing, I stood next to him and told him to just relax and listen to his girl, and I was rubbing the top of his head. That seemed to soothe him, and ever so often, he would look at me, staring again. 

I hate to see him like that. And being there was difficult for me, I have issues with hospitals since my Grandmother passed. 

Not long before we left, Mister was holding his hand and talking to him and asking him questions. His Dad wasn’t responding. Then Mister asked him “You want me to bring you some money”, and his Dad immediately turned his head and looked Mister in his eyes. LOL! Mister kept asking if he wanted this or that, and naming his Dad’s favorite foods, but nothing got the kind of response the money question did. 

When we left, Mister told him he’d be back tomorrow when he gets off work, and told him not to go anywhere. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Oh, and Brother was not there when we got there. He’s text Mister some nonsense and excuses for why he’s not been there.

Mister has not responded to his brother’s texts. And he’s already taken note that his brother lied to him, and how when his brother sent him a text at 1am this morning, knowing Mister doesn’t stay up that late and wouldn’t see it for some hours, he made it seem like they had just taken Dad back to the ER. Mister seems more confused than angry. I kept my mouth shut. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 31, 2023 19:08:43 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Aug 31, 2023 16:14:13 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

My days stay mixed up, I didn’t realize until I just looked at my texts, that it was YESTERDAY morning that Brother said nothing was wrong with their Dad, and started talking about money, and their Dad was already in ICU. I am shook. I cant wrap my mind around that. Because what in the world?! Who DOES that kind of shit?!

If Mister puts the timing together, I am afraid he might lose it. Whyyyyyy would his brother do that?!

Greed and desperation for money.  Don't trust him at all.

Yeah, we don’t. 

He’s going to be SOL whenever their Dad does pass. I doubt their Dad has insurance to pay the mortgage off upon his death and Mister has no interest in the house and no reason to try to hang on to it. Brother can’t afford it, and if the house is gone, so is his business space he had built in the back yard years ago. He can take all his expensive equipment out of the business space, and I guess put it in storage or something, idk.

Dad only has 1 life insurance policy that we know of, and even though their Mom’s funeral wasn’t fancy, it cost more than the amount of life insurance their Dad has. At least she did leave enough to cover all of her final expenses, even though the cemetery had to be paid up front, $3k that Mister paid himself, and was not reimbursed for when his Dad received the rest of the money from her life insurance policies. 

If Brother thinks there will be any money for him whenever their Dad dies, he should think again. There’s not even enough to have a funeral and bury him with, there is no equity in the house because they just refinanced it last year, and the car Dad financed last year, he paid more than it was worth, with a high interest rate, so it’s going bye bye too, and that’s what Brother has been driving.

I can see Brother feeling kind of desperate since they aren’t expecting their Dad to get any better and seem to be saying he’s going to die sooner rather than later, without coming out and explicitly saying it. 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 31, 2023 19:11:56 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Aug 31, 2023 17:28:02 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Well, I don't actually have to just sit in the car if I don't want to. We'll be on campus so I can go for a walk or hang out in the bookstore.  Take my laptop and hang out here...just like any other day.

Gus is, "ok".  Not great.  He has his good days and bad days, and is definitely lame some of them, but not anything like he was where he could barely walk, so I guess that's good.  He had a stretch there back in July when he was acting 100%, but the past month or so he's declined some.

I went to pick up my neighbors from the store. I sat in my a/c car, using my phone and after 15 minutes, I was a maniac!
Mind you, I'd be doing the same thing at home. But the idea of not being confined/limited, is a huge struggle for me.
Glad to hear Gus has improved!
Take care, in your travels.

If you knew how many hours I spent sitting in my car waiting for kids during the school year.   Scouts, piano lessons, tennis practice, jazz band, speech practice...  I am VERY used to it at this point.  Driving home and back is a 40 minute round trip so it rarely makes sense.

[busymom]

Pink Cashmere, I am so sorry for everything you & Mister are dealing with right now.  


And, to answer your question, greed does crazy things to people.  It almost sounds like brother is already counting the money...

[minnesotapaintlady]

DS joined us for a game of Catan tonight.  He has so much more time for family when his computer is packed up and in the van.   When we were done, he's like...well...I guess I'll go to bed now (at 8:30 LOL). 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Karma when she comes is a bad bitch.

I imagine brother is starting to fear his life choices catching up.

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 31, 2023 21:02:36 GMT -5 busymom said:

Pink Cashmere , I am so sorry for everything you & Mister are dealing with right now.  


And, to answer your question, greed does crazy things to people.  It almost sounds like brother is already counting the money...

I was just telling Mister a week or so ago, how it seems like families often fall apart and start fighting about money when somebody dies. Whenever it was that we had that conversation, it was recent and before his Dad started having to go to the ER. 

At the time, I was just speaking in general. Unfortunately, now I can see the possibility of that happening with his own family if his Dad dies. Even though there really is no money to fight over. But that doesn’t necessarily stop people from acting a fool. 

Whenever he does die, it will be interesting to see if anybody steps up to help pay his final expenses. Nobody did that when Mister’s Mom died. Mister’s Aunt that was at the hospital earlier today, was helpful with helping Mister figure things out when his Mom passed, but the day before the funeral, she told him that the fee for having the funeral at the church where her husband is the Pastor, was $400, but they would give him some time to pay it. 

Maybe it’s just me, but I felt some type of way about that. I understand that churches incur expenses like utility costs when someone uses their building, but without going into detail, Imma just say that I was surprised and I felt like that detail about the cost should’ve been shared when Mister was making the arrangements.

I keep saying stuff about Mister possibly losing his temper with his brother, but y’all might need to be on alert to bail ME out of jail for beating his brother up, or favorite niece, or anybody else that pisses me off by mistreating Mister. I have stayed in my lane and minded my own business, but I don’t like how some of his family have handled him over these last 12 months. I’ve been paying attention, even though I’ve stayed out of it. I’m his quiet, harmless girlfriend, until I’m not so quiet and harmless because I’m tired of people playing with me and mine.

I am still a work in progress, and I’ve done a lot of work to try to be a better person, but it’s still better to try Jesus than to try me. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'll happily contribute to bail. They deserve whatever you give them.

On a different topic I'm embarrassed. Turns out I have not changed our AC filter in quite awhile.

That was forcing the unit to work harder.

It's fine now.

So yay it's working so no need to replace it for the time being but wow. 😳

[CCL]

Just finally got a chance to check in.

Pink, I'm so sorry to hear Mister’s Dad is back in the hospital. I hope they can find something to help him or at least to keep him comfortable. I almost cried when you said you were playing music and rubbing his head. I'm sure that was very comforting to him.

[CCL]

Aug 31, 2023 21:58:49 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'll happily contribute to bail. They deserve whatever you give them.

On a different topic I'm embarrassed. Turns out I have not changed our AC filter in quite awhile.

That was forcing the unit to work harder.

It's fine now.

So yay it's working so no need to replace it for the time being but wow. 😳

Do you write the date on the side of the filter so you can easily see how long it's been?

[jerseygirl]

Aug 31, 2023 20:02:10 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

We are home from the hospital again. His Dad was awake the whole time we were there, his heart rate didn’t go nearly as low as it was when we first got there earlier today. His oxygen and blood pressure is still low though.

When we first got there, I stopped beside his bed and held his hand. He held mine tightly, and was staring at me, so I stood there for a minute talking to him. Then Mister came on his other side and I went and sat down.

He is a musician and plays keyboards and loves Aretha Franklin, so Mister played Aretha for him. Quietly, of course, to not disturb other people. He just laid his phone on his Dad’s pillow so he could hear it. When he would shake his head, I’d tell Mister to play another one. Then I told him to play “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and when it started playing, his Dad nodded his head. Then I suggested Mister play some music from his Dad’s favorite gospel group, which he did.

When Aretha was playing, I stood next to him and told him to just relax and listen to his girl, and I was rubbing the top of his head. That seemed to soothe him, and ever so often, he would look at me, staring again. 

I hate to see him like that. And being there was difficult for me, I have issues with hospitals since my Grandmother passed. 

Not long before we left, Mister was holding his hand and talking to him and asking him questions. His Dad wasn’t responding. Then Mister asked him “You want me to bring you some money”, and his Dad immediately turned his head and looked Mister in his eyes. LOL! Mister kept asking if he wanted this or that, and naming his Dad’s favorite foods, but nothing got the kind of response the money question did. 

When we left, Mister told him he’d be back tomorrow when he gets off work, and told him not to go anywhere. 

Very sweet for you and mister to be with his dad playing his favorites and showing great love .

[catsareme]

Has anyone heard anything from Skeeter or Blonde Granny lately?

[Pink Cashmere]

Aug 31, 2023 22:11:38 GMT -5 CCL said:

Just finally got a chance to check in.

Pink, I'm so sorry to hear Mister’s Dad is back in the hospital. I hope they can find something to help him or at least to keep him comfortable. I almost cried when you said you were playing music and rubbing his head. I'm sure that was very comforting to him.

That is what they are asking the family to make decisions about, whether to keep trying to treat him even though it’s unlikely he will get better, or just try to keep him as comfortable as they can, until he passes. 

The nurse and the Doctor that came to talk to us, both mentioned that he seems very unhappy with all the tubes and the oxygen mask. They have his arms restrained. The nurse said that she removed the restraints when she first got to work this morning, to see how he would do, and he immediately took off the oxygen mask and tried to remove the IV’s and everything else, so she had to put the restraints back on. I believe her because he took his IV out and took his neck brace off the last time we know of that he was in the hospital, less than a week ago. 

Imo, it is up to Mister to decide what he thinks or knows his Dad would want in a situation like this. With my Grandmother, my Mom and my Aunt both agreed that that knew my Grandmother wouldn’t want them doing all the stuff they were doing to try to “save” her, with that freezing process, especially since the odds were that even if she survived, she was likely to be a vegetable. She was 85yo, they weren’t going to do anything to actually try to fix her heart, just keep her alive. So my Mom and my Aunt told them to stop the procedure. 

I just happened to have a good friend from high school was a nurse that worked on the floor my Grandmother was on. I called my friend and begged her to talk to me as a friend, and not as a professional. And she did. She told me that even if my Grandmother somehow survived that episode, it was going to keep happening until she didn’t. She also told me that Doctors and nurses had an issue with my Mom and my Aunt telling them to stop, because their Mother wouldn’t have wanted any of that. I was present when everything was explained to my Mom and my Aunt and they told them what my Grandmother would want. I had no issue with them saying what they said, and I supported whatever decision they felt was the right thing for my Grandmother and what she would have wanted if she could’ve spoken for herself.

My friend said she told them “We say that we want our patients’ families to be involved in their care and decisions, and that’s what this family is doing, so what’s the problem”.  While they were saying that behind our backs, they were also always commenting on how somebody was always there with my Grandmother, 24/7, and that wasn’t the norm with their patients. So she obviously had family that really cared about her, why not respect that her daughters stood up for what they knew she would’ve wanted? 

I call Mister’s Dad Mr. Messy, because of his behavior over the last 12 months. But at the end of the day, I know how much Mister loves him, and how important he is to Mister. His selfish nature has become obvious over the last year, but even with all of that, he’s not what I consider a bad person, even though he started getting on my nerves majorly.

So yes, I was and am willing to hold his hand, and rub his head and speak softly to him while playing music I think he will enjoy. I feel like physical touch means something when it’s given with love, and especially when it’s the only way to show somebody that you are there with them. Regardless of all the chaos he’s brought to my home, and him being crazy with Mister and pissing me off, I don’t want this for him. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Mister is in bed, and his phone keeps going off. I looked and its texts from Brother, Mister was half awake , so I told him it was his brother texting and asked if he wanted me to see what was going on. He said yes.

Brother was texting because he said he’s about to cuss Kiddo’s Mom out. She’s been trying to find out what’s going on so she can tell “the family”. Biiitch, WHAT family? Mister’s family already knows.

She somehow found Horseface’s number and text her trying to find out what’s going on, and Horseface told her to just go with whatever Mister has told her. 

She’s crazy too.

[Peace77]

Aug 31, 2023 21:58:49 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I'll happily contribute to bail. They deserve whatever you give them.

On a different topic I'm embarrassed. Turns out I have not changed our AC filter in quite awhile.

That was forcing the unit to work harder.

It's fine now.

So yay it's working so no need to replace it for the time being but wow. 😳

I suggest making a note on your calendar, either paper calendar or phone calendar to remind you to change it for next time.

[countrygirl2]

Smoke is my baby again, I just trimmed his nails and he didn't even move. He has been following me around today, chirping, meowing, and sometimes rolling on the floor. Tonight he wanted in the bathroom with me, I finally let him in. He is asleep beside me right now. I need to go to bed and put him in his room too.

I mopped the dining room and cleaned and mopped the kitty room. It was the worst of all the rooms, vacced, mopped, and washed the throw rugs we keep under the food trays, so its in good shape now. The only one left to mop is DD's room. Half the house is dusted. The bathroom sinks need cleaned and our shower hubs uses. So about ready to go out tomorrow and start on the landscaping.

I think I am too fond of this kitty, if something happened to him I would be extremely upset . I get way to attached to my pets. I love Tigger too but not like Smoke, he is just different.

[countrygirl2]

I think I have spent half my life in doctors offices. For son when he was small always sick. Then years of taking DD to doctors and still doing it and for me too and mom. I carry books with me to read or crossword puzzles to work. I'm used to it too. 

[finnime]

Good morning, giving and loving invisipeeps, tending to your parents and offspring and each other. Welcome to Friday. May you not need bail today, or if you do, may bail be offered freely (I'll give!)

I send prayers for you and Mister, Pink Cashmere.

And I send well wishes for you, minnesotapaintlady. Coming off the week that was, moving DD from Maryland to Massachusetts, I can relate. You are a fine mom. Your DSs are very fortunate.

Today I'm getting a tire valve stem replaced. And going out with DD and DH. Tomorrow very early DH and I are going to Maine, to YDB's, for the weekend. DD is happy to stay here with her cats. Next week promises increasing insanity: back home by Tuesday, to see old school friends Friday, to staff a booth at an arts/crafts fair Saturday, to prepare to fly to New Mexico on Monday morning. And it all starts with a dawn trip to the beach with Franklin the Dog.

This was yesterday's dawn sky:

[finnime]

I've been wondering how some former posters are dong, too. Including Athena. I may delete this because I imagine she would want me to, but when I was coordinating donations for Drama after her mother's death, Athena gave the largest single donation, $50 more than the next. The pure generosity surprised me a bit. I had some issues with her seeming to look down on groups of people down and out. So I wonder if it was me misinterpreting her.

[daisylu]

Annoyed. It would be very helpful if all major US airports used the same screening process. But noooooo, take your laptop out here, but not there. It is frustrating. And I am only traveling major hubs ATM.

[daisylu]

Learned last night that DH, who I often have to find things for on the internet, has learned how to track flights since I've been traveling more. In a concerned way. ❤️ I will send him flight numbers going forward to make it easier. (He has a very big fear of flying.)

[zibazinski]

I am finally back to Tampa after a ten hour flight. Plane wasn’t full so everyone stretched out except for those who couldn’t be parted. I love flying non American Airlines because even in the cheap seats on other airlines, they’re comfortable and you’re treated well. Thank you, Virgin Airlines.