what are you doing right now?

[minnesotapaintlady]

Jul 12, 2023 8:00:35 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I must have everything, because nothing at Amazon is tempting me. 

Same, but can't say I spent a lot of time looking either.  I have a $300 gift card sitting in there just begging to be spent too.

[Cookies Galore]

Jul 12, 2023 8:00:35 GMT -5 daisylu said:

I must have everything, because nothing at Amazon is tempting me. 

Good! Save yourself!

[raeoflyte]

Pink- you made a post about boy that I meant to respond to and I can't find it.

Years ago, I was the one who got serious about dog training and put in the work. Dh said he wanted to also, but wasn't willing to do the work at home, or even support the work I was when it was "hard". It didn't take too long for the dogs to realize different rules for different people. They didn't listen to dh at all until he got on board but that didn't stop them from listening to me.

Before dh realized he wasn't going to just get to piggy back on my work, we had friends over and he asked my dog to sit and instead she barked at him. I was across the house, told her to sit and she did immediately, cementing who was boss. That dog would also listen for my key in the door. After I left she'd get in bed and jump back out if I forgot something.

Anyway tl:Dr Mister doesn’t have to be on board. Boy can still learn that you mean business. How old is he?

[Cookies Galore]

I bought a favored moisturizer - Belif Aqua Bomb. It's usually $38 and I got it for $25, no brainier purchase. I splurged on the pool table for our cats.

VETRESKA 4-in-1 Mini Pool Table for Cats a.co/d/i1BByPd

[daisylu]

I did pull the trigger on an adjustable height chair for the office.

ETA - And a floor mat.

[andi9899]

Jul 12, 2023 8:09:41 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

My purchases were pretty much things we regularly buy and need, razor blades, face wash, shipping labels, and mints. I've been going to buy a case for the Dyson for a year now.

I need to ask DH about the golf balls. I should look for a wall bracket for the TV that is going in our office/gym. And an air purifier since our air quality is crap again today.

Mine were mostly things to cook with. That and a new camera for the house.

[Cookies Galore]

Jul 12, 2023 5:18:59 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Jul 11, 2023 15:41:42 GMT -5 MarionTh230 said:

Kiddo just turned 7.  She has been telling us what SHE wants to do since she was 3!  Dance.  And eventually the martial arts got added last year.

I mean, her and that fishing thing is how we ended up on our spring break adventure.  She said she wanted to go fishing.  So we did.

I wanted to say this the other day. When my kids were small O signed them up for parks & rec classes. They both played T-ball and then were done with baseball. They did very basic swim classes and that was it. I thought DD was a good swimmer, but she got into trouble once at the Wilderness when she was 8-10, and has pretty much avoided water since. Her best friend had a pool. As a teen, she put her suit on and laid on the deck. Signed DS up for Karate when he was 6-7 and he wanted nothing to do with it. DH played soccer, wanted DS to play soccer-no go. In High School, the neighbor kid convinced my Son to join wrestling. He was Varsity 2 or 3 years and Lettered. My son got into Powerlifting in College. He also did Ultimate Frisbee.

I would think maybe grandson is the one who nixed Soccer. Does he have kids to play with if he is at home? I wouldn’t give up on the new house so soon. Your Grandson will remember this time with you and his Grandpa. It was a good move.

If your Son is paying off more than scheduled P & I, maybe he could think about the best use of his $$- his mortgage is probably 2-3%, so paying it off early dosn’t gain much. They could budget a family vacation, Idk if I would budget money for trips away from each other though.

Exactly! Based on how mortgage rates were in the years prior to current hikes, I can only imagine they have a low rate. I do put an extra $100 toward principal every month but 1) that doesn't keep us from enjoying our lives 2) it still makes the monthly payment less than what we were paying before we refinanced in 2020 and 3) just an extra $1200 a year in principal is making a dent (our total payment with escrow included is $1034, stupid low). I don't see the need to treat our 30 year mortgage like a 15 year because I want to live NOW. It's nice that we're cutting a couple years off the loan but if it was hindering us in any way then we would be perfectly happy paying the normal monthly amount. I'm not forcing myself or my husband to sacrifice just so we can have a paid off house.

It did take a few years of only enjoy free to us trips, either family vacations down the shore or weekends at our friend's cabin, but now we do make an effort to take separate and together trips. It does him good to go away with his buddies, same as it does me good to go away with my ladies. But we prioritize that kind of spending. I'd rather pay off a house over 30 years than sacrifice travel with my love.

[raeoflyte]

My sister actually has relied on significant financial assistance from my parents for long periods of time but it doesn't mean my mom failed her. You'll never convince my mom of that though. You want your kids to succeed and be happy and it might be impossible not to blame yourself when you realize that isn't possible for them.

I know my parents gifted so much of this house to me to "even out" the support given to dsis. Not needed or discussed but we all knew.

Those of you throwing that around - I'm sure you were great parents, with wonderful kids. But you were also lucky. Because all of us are lucky to be happy, healthy, productive members of society right up until we aren't. And if that happens it really is nice when family can help each other out.

I'm more of the failed child from the example and I don't think my parents failed me either so there.

[raeoflyte]

I guess I need to look at a vacuum for prime day.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 12, 2023 8:31:35 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

Jul 12, 2023 5:18:59 GMT -5 bean29 said:

I wanted to say this the other day. When my kids were small O signed them up for parks & rec classes. They both played T-ball and then were done with baseball. They did very basic swim classes and that was it. I thought DD was a good swimmer, but she got into trouble once at the Wilderness when she was 8-10, and has pretty much avoided water since. Her best friend had a pool. As a teen, she put her suit on and laid on the deck. Signed DS up for Karate when he was 6-7 and he wanted nothing to do with it. DH played soccer, wanted DS to play soccer-no go. In High School, the neighbor kid convinced my Son to join wrestling. He was Varsity 2 or 3 years and Lettered. My son got into Powerlifting in College. He also did Ultimate Frisbee.

I would think maybe grandson is the one who nixed Soccer. Does he have kids to play with if he is at home? I wouldn’t give up on the new house so soon. Your Grandson will remember this time with you and his Grandpa. It was a good move.

If your Son is paying off more than scheduled P & I, maybe he could think about the best use of his $$- his mortgage is probably 2-3%, so paying it off early dosn’t gain much. They could budget a family vacation, Idk if I would budget money for trips away from each other though.

Exactly! Based on how mortgage rates were in the years prior to current hikes, I can only imagine they have a low rate. I do put an extra $100 toward principal every month but 1) that doesn't keep us from enjoying our lives 2) it still makes the monthly payment less than what we were paying before we refinanced in 2020 and 3) just an extra $1200 a year in principal is making a dent (our total payment with escrow included is $1034, stupid low). I don't see the need to treat our 30 year mortgage like a 15 year because I want to live NOW. It's nice that we're cutting a couple years off the loan but if it was hindering us in any way then we would be perfectly happy paying the normal monthly amount. I'm not forcing myself or my husband to sacrifice just so we can have a paid off house.

It did take a few years of only enjoy free to us trips, either family vacations down the shore or weekends at our friend's cabin, but now we do make an effort to take separate and together trips. It does him good to go away with his buddies, same as it does me good to go away with my ladies. But we prioritize that kind of spending. I'd rather pay off a house over 30 years than sacrifice travel with my love.

That's my philosophy about the mortgage as well.  Talking with a financial advisor yes the house is an asset but if I got a low mortgage rate there isn't a huge rush to pay it off except for my peace of mind.  A paid off house is great BUT then all that capital is in your house.

So I agree with Phil in that regard.

Where I disagree with Phil is putting every penny I don't pay into investments.  I have my 401(k) and I contribute as much as I can.  I want to make sure I have enough to get a ticket into the nursing home as a bare minimum and have enough to live off of before I get there.   I have no interest in living a legacy for my kids.

Otherwise I am living my life.  A house is a bunch of sticks and nails and eventually I'll probably have to let go of it to pay for nursing home care.  I don't want to be in a nursing home with my only memories being how fast I paid off my house.

I wouldn't be happy about it either if I was DIL unless DH could show me that there is more to it than I can proudly say I paid off my house in 15 years.  Does he have an end goal like in 15 years we can do X, Y, and Z with the money we are saving?   Will he retire from military work/travel if he gets the house paid off sooner?  What is the reward beyond a paid off house that makes him feel good because it's what his parents would do? 

That may make me selfish but in my marriage, I consider most things a give/take.  If I wanted to put every spare penny to the mortgage, I better be able to convince DH there is a reward outside being able to hold the statement showing I paid it off.  If he wants to do X, which costs $$$$, he better be able to lay out how he plans to get there.

Same with her working   If she is struggling with English suggesting she take a job at McD's is patronizing.  I'd rather eat glass than go back to customer service I can't imagine how much worse it would be with a language barrier.  There are plenty of online freelance jobs nowadays she could try.  It may not be exactly what she wanted but it'd a middle ground between his desire to have her be a SAHW and her desire to work but not putting in effort to learn English better.

Part of being married is sometimes we aren't going to both walk away happy.  Sometimes we both walk away a little less miserable than we were previously.  It's part of having tied myself to another human being.

[jerseygirl]

Jul 12, 2023 7:00:54 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Jul 11, 2023 21:17:29 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

I have shared enough here from time to time for everyone to know that my DH is far from perfect, as I am.  But, for all his flaws, my husband never discussed our private business - marital, reproductive, sexual, or financial - with his parents nor did I with my mother or his folks.  Of course, we also never asked or took money from them either, so there was no expectation of involvement created.  We made our way on our own.  What we have, we earned by our own labors, plus wise investment of the $30,000 we inherited.  

Right! I have been scrolling past all the books written here, but from the bits and pieces I've seen, I can't imagine a parent being so involved in an adult relationship. I don't insert myself in the girl's relationships. If asked for advice, I'll give it. For the most part I mind my business. They're adults and can figure it out. I also can't imagine taking large amounts of money from my parents as a grown ass woman. Granted I've taken small amounts here and there as a broke kid, but not thousands of dollars at a time.

We’re giving substantial amounts of money to our kids and grandkids. Fortunately we can do this without hurting ourselves. We’ve told them we’re doing this now so we can see them enjoying now rather than when we’re dead. Like tuitions, money for houses, IVF etc
Also fortunately they are all responsible and don’t expect or ask for money. Once we give the money, we don’t try to interude, mostly the decision to buy a particular house etc has been made by them then we give money to help. If they didn’t work, have addictions or such then we’d have a different scenario

[giramomma]

I have succumbed to prime days.

I also slightly regret not buying legos yesterday.

I cold have gotten most of the peanut's christmas taken care of for $100.

[NoNamePerson]

There's gifting money and there's gifting money with chains attached.

[giramomma]

I may have just gotten the missy's birthday taken care of for a hair under $50. For a 6 year old, in 2023, that's still damn good.

[chiver78]

Jul 12, 2023 9:22:23 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

There's gifting money and there's gifting money with chains attached.

I don't recall seeing any chains on the gifts cg and her DH have given their son. 

[wvugurl26]

I'm so over contracts. I must be speaking in another language than English.

[finnime]

I'm not feeling very Prime either. I did biy some packing boxes and had them sent to DD, and bought us an extra set of sheets for our split king adjustable bed, and a box of TP for 35% discount. I think I'm done.

[jerseygirl]

Prime day bought printer ink and a beige desk chair. Both good prices. Printer ink is so damn expensive snd my black chair ‘leather’ is falling apart
Closed my consulting business - eeks can’t deduct

Reading posts and getting ideas. Sheets? Going to look now

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I ordered some Bose Bluetooth noise canceling headphones yesterday.  I bought TD a pair for Christmas a few years ago, he really liked them so have been waiting for the price.  

I have a couple bras in my cart right now, they’re a few $$ cheaper.  3 of mine got tossed on the cruise.  I brought 6, so was good.  

[giramomma]

Jul 12, 2023 8:39:31 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I guess I need to look at a vacuum for prime day.

I was thinking about that for DS. And also, trying to pace myself since there will be another prime day coming up before Christmas.

[daisylu]

I (if I were CG or DIL) would be upset though if I gifted money for a specific reason, like CG did for a shed for DIL, and DS used it to pay down the mortgage without discussing it with either of them.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

TD has been on a clearing out binge, and pulled down a box we had stored of my shoes.  I cried.  This box was shoes I wore while still working and when I came out here, I wore slippers and sneakers for a year.  I had shoes that I bought that were brand new…..never worn……that were a full size smaller than I now wear.  

Also, my PhD research got tossed.  

[raeoflyte]

Jul 12, 2023 9:48:48 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Jul 12, 2023 8:39:31 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I guess I need to look at a vacuum for prime day.

I was thinking about that for DS. And also, trying to pace myself since there will be another prime day coming up before Christmas.

I can't decide between spending more and hoping to get one that lasts, or going cheaper. But I need to pull the trigger sooner than later.

[giramomma]

Jul 12, 2023 9:55:32 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Jul 12, 2023 9:48:48 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I was thinking about that for DS. And also, trying to pace myself since there will be another prime day coming up before Christmas.

I can't decide between spending more and hoping to get one that lasts, or going cheaper. But I need to pull the trigger sooner than later.

For all our stuff, we tend to go towards basic. Which also happens to be the cheapest.

I just assume stuff won't last long, no matter what the price point is.

[giramomma]

Jul 12, 2023 9:54:47 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Also, my PhD research got tossed.  

Oh, I'd be mad about that one.

[raeoflyte]

Jul 12, 2023 9:54:47 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

TD has been on a clearing out binge, and pulled down a box we had stored of my shoes.  I cried.  This box was shoes I wore while still working and when I came out here, I wore slippers and sneakers for a year.  I had shoes that I bought that were brand new…..never worn……that were a full size smaller than I now wear.  

Also, my PhD research got tossed.  

Oh mich...I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing that research before you were ready.

[jerseygirl]

Gave up on sheets for twin x long for a guest room
Put in cotton but keep getting microfiber. Trying to replace microfiber sets

[Cookies Galore]

Jul 12, 2023 9:54:47 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

TD has been on a clearing out binge, and pulled down a box we had stored of my shoes.  I cried.  This box was shoes I wore while still working and when I came out here, I wore slippers and sneakers for a year.  I had shoes that I bought that were brand new…..never worn……that were a full size smaller than I now wear.  

Also, my PhD research got tossed.  

Oh no! I'm so sorry about the research!

[jerseygirl]

Jul 12, 2023 9:54:47 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

TD has been on a clearing out binge, and pulled down a box we had stored of my shoes.  I cried.  This box was shoes I wore while still working and when I came out here, I wore slippers and sneakers for a year.  I had shoes that I bought that were brand new…..never worn……that were a full size smaller than I now wear.  

Also, my PhD research got tossed.  

Love shoes BUT your research !!! Is there anyway you can contact your advisor and finish? But maybe you’ve moved on and are happy cruising etc . Just a regret and we all have regrets as long as it’s minor and not consuming emotional energy
Did you at least get some papers published? I had to get 3 published before I could be considered for dissertation defense. One was at an obscure journal but I was ready to ‘get my wings’ and be DONE!
Nice to read Chloe is almost there!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jul 12, 2023 9:54:47 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

TD has been on a clearing out binge, and pulled down a box we had stored of my shoes.  I cried.  This box was shoes I wore while still working and when I came out here, I wore slippers and sneakers for a year.  I had shoes that I bought that were brand new…..never worn……that were a full size smaller than I now wear.  

Also, my PhD research got tossed.  

Is there still time to make him dig through the trash to find it?  I would be real salty about that one.