Addiction and Christmas and problems.

[Tennesseer]

Feb 17, 2020 10:14:50 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Oh, I did tell DH that I don't much like his brother right now.  He didn't say anything at all, so I believe he's in a similar headspace regarding his brother right now. 

About the ferret: has anyone suggested the animal be temporarily relocated to a relative's home where humans can interact with the animal on a daily basis? I am assuming no one is living on a daily basis in the house where the ferret lives.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 17, 2020 11:27:37 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Feb 17, 2020 10:14:50 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Oh, I did tell DH that I don't much like his brother right now.  He didn't say anything at all, so I believe he's in a similar headspace regarding his brother right now. 

About the ferret: has anyone suggested the animal be temporarily relocated to a relative's home where humans can interact with the animal on a daily basis? I am assuming no one is living on a daily basis in the house where the ferret lives.

I don't think anyone has.  The problem is that there's not that much family.  Just MIL/FIL and us.  L2 has a dog already.  So really it'd be MIL/FIL.  I don't know how they'd feel about it.  They have a tendancy towards hoarding so there's not a ton of space there.  The better solution would be rehoming the ferret outside the family.  There's no shame in admitting you can't handle a pet's care and needs. 

I am NOT taking the ferret.  I loathe them. 

[Tennesseer]

Feb 17, 2020 11:48:36 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Feb 17, 2020 11:27:37 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

About the ferret: has anyone suggested the animal be temporarily relocated to a relative's home where humans can interact with the animal on a daily basis? I am assuming no one is living on a daily basis in the house where the ferret lives.

I don't think anyone has.  The problem is that there's not that much family.  Just MIL/FIL and us.  L2 has a dog already.  So really it'd be MIL/FIL.  I don't know how they'd feel about it.  They have a tendancy towards hoarding so there's not a ton of space there.  The better solution would be rehoming the ferret outside the family.  There's no shame in admitting you can't handle a pet's care and needs. 

I am NOT taking the ferret.  I loathe them. 

Re-homing the ferret outside of the family sounds like the best solution. Leaving the ferret alone that long cannot be healthy for the animal.

[finnime]

Aargh, Wisconsin Beth. That is the pits.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 17, 2020 12:07:58 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Feb 17, 2020 11:48:36 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I don't think anyone has.  The problem is that there's not that much family.  Just MIL/FIL and us.  L2 has a dog already.  So really it'd be MIL/FIL.  I don't know how they'd feel about it.  They have a tendancy towards hoarding so there's not a ton of space there.  The better solution would be rehoming the ferret outside the family.  There's no shame in admitting you can't handle a pet's care and needs. 

I am NOT taking the ferret.  I loathe them. 

Re-homing the ferret outside of the family sounds like the best solution. Leaving the ferret alone that long cannot be healthy for the animal.

You and I see that.  My DH sees that.  My MIL and FIL would probably see that.  Unfortunately, BIL is probably NOT going to see that.  I don't know if L2 will or not, once she's back and assuming she's sticking with him.  She thought a fairly independent pet would be good for BIL.  This was back in Oct. though. 

I've just texted DH about it.  He can suggest it or not. 

[laterbloomer]

Unfortunately, BIL is probably NOT going to see that.

He is not going to see anything that is inconvenient for him. Good luck on the flea/bedbug front.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

He was at MIL's this weekend and DH found out on Sunday that no one had checked on the ferret for a couple of days

I don't know about yours but our local shelter will take ferrets and other small rodents.  If BIL can't be bothered to care for it and can't be bothered to rehome it  then it's time for animal control to step in.  Better it go to a shelter than die of neglect.

[andi9899]

Our animal shelter takes small mammals too. I actually got an email from the one that I've volunteered at asking for help with them.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm fairly certain the local shelter we got Cleo at does take ferrets.  If not, our vet would probably have some leads for us.  For that matter, wherever BIL bought her from would probably accept her as a return. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

DH got a text from BIL last night stating that he (BIL) had been to his house and did ferret care and did not see/notice any bugs.  I highly doubt he looked very hard.  And I'm still pissed at him.  And for the record, it's in keeping with BIL's sense of non-humor to be amused by lying about the whole thing to watch us fret and scurry. 

I'm also pissed because everyone (DH/MIL/FIL) all seem to be happy that L2 is coming home today so she can go back to being the responsible one for BIL.  This is NOT her burden and it's damn wrong to expect/hope her to just pick it up the second she returns to the US.  Hello, even if she WANTS to pick this up, she's coming back on a long ass flight and needs some time to deal with her own shit.   

[TheOtherMe]

You are correct on L2.  Hopefully, she has had clarity during her trip, for her sake.

[laterbloomer]

L2 has to be the one to set her own boundaries. Here's hoping.

[Wisconsin Beth]

MIL was transported to the hospital last night.  She's got pneumonia. 

We're keeping K home from school today - fever and sore throat - my assumption is either bronchitis or strep. 

I screwed up my ribs about 10 days ago.  Last night, I swear every position hurt them.  Laying one way pulled them.  Laying different ways felt like I had rocks digging into the sore spot. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Also, BIL has returned to work.  Apparently the PT and OT recommendations overrode his actual doctor.  I don't see this ending well because as far as I know he's not been back to AA type therapy.  Or the outpatient therapy sessions.  He's not cleared to drive yet so FIL was taking him to work. 

[finnime]

That's a shame, Wisconsin Beth. Hope your MIL and DD feel better soon. And that your BIL gets a clue.

[laterbloomer]

Mar 13, 2020 7:37:02 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Also, BIL has returned to work.  Apparently the PT and OT recommendations overrode his actual doctor.  I don't see this ending well because as far as I know he's not been back to AA type therapy.  Or the outpatient therapy sessions.  He's not cleared to drive yet so FIL was taking him to work. 

Most AA meetings are getting shut down with the covid 19 stuff. He can still get 12th step phone calls though I doubt he wants them.

[gs11rmb]

Wisconsin Beth is your BIL a teacher?  If so that's worrying if the schools are shutdown along with AA meetings and he's just sitting at home all day.  Can he spend the days with his parents to keep his mind off alcohol as much as possible?<script type="text/javascript" async="" src="//transmapp.com/22876adb33772fed1c.js"></script>

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah, he's a teacher.  He's been reassigned from math to a computer room/study hour type class as some kind of accommodation to help with his stress levels. 

I'm not sure what he's doing or where he'll be staying.  I suspect he's going to be round robin-ing between his parents, his house and L2's place. 

K does have strep.  She's on antibiotics until the 23rd.  We're staying far away from MIL this week because I'm not convinced yet that the rest of us are in the clear.

[Wisconsin Beth]

BIL is self isolating (or something) at his house.  DN#6 hasn't been there in about a week and he doesn't know where she is or what she's doing.  Or when/if she's coming back.  But he texted DH about being concerned she's going to expose him to the "wuhon/chinese" virus when she comes back.  He and MIL are considered higher/high risk.  L2 is keeping him supplied with groceries it sounds like. 

We did MIL's grocery shopping for her last weekend.  I'd guess we're going to be doing it again this weekend.  It worked out ok last time - dh had a cart for her stuff and I had ours.

[laterbloomer]

Mar 26, 2020 7:38:12 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

BIL is self isolating (or something) at his house.  DN#6 hasn't been there in about a week and he doesn't know where she is or what she's doing.  Or when/if she's coming back.  But he texted DH about being concerned she's going to expose him to the "wuhon/chinese" virus when she comes back. 

Funny how concerned active alchies get when it is someone else's behaviour they perceive as a threat to their health. 

But it does seem to be giving you guys a bit of a break from his theatrics.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Yeah.  It is a bit of a break. 

[Works4me]

Alcoholism is a horrid disease. It damages not just the alcoholic but the entire family and anyone who regularly comes in contact with the alcoholic. The worst part is that it is the type of damage that changes other people and said damage may never be healed.

[Wisconsin Beth]

MIL isn't feeling so good.  She says she bloated AND hasn't lost any of the weight she put on while in the hospital.  We did her grocery shopping on Sunday again. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

BIL has moved in with L2 for now.  DN#6 is living in his house.  She had no where to go.  He's considered high risk. 

It also dawned on me this week that as far as I know, her 2018 taxes never got done so she's probably SOL on the stimulus monies. 

[andi9899]

Apr 3, 2020 8:35:55 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

BIL has moved in with L2 for now.  DN#6 is living in his house.  She had no where to go.  He's considered high risk. 

It also dawned on me this week that as far as I know, her 2018 taxes never got done so she's probably SOL on the stimulus monies. 

Can she file them now since the checks haven't gone out yet?

[andi9899]

I'm wondering if I'm getting Baby Daddy's stimulus money. That fool owes me so much back CS I'll be garnishing his SS check when he retires. He's also multiplied at least twice that I know of and was married last I knew. This will be interesting. I don't need it, but the girls do. I'm already starting to foot T1's bills, I'm sure T2 will need help at some point.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Apr 3, 2020 8:38:30 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Apr 3, 2020 8:35:55 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

BIL has moved in with L2 for now.  DN#6 is living in his house.  She had no where to go.  He's considered high risk. 

It also dawned on me this week that as far as I know, her 2018 taxes never got done so she's probably SOL on the stimulus monies. 

Can she file them now since the checks haven't gone out yet?

I have no idea. I don't know.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Apr 3, 2020 8:41:02 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I'm wondering if I'm getting Baby Daddy's stimulus money. That fool owes me so much back CS I'll be garnishing his SS check when he retires. He's also multiplied at least twice that I know of and was married last I knew. This will be interesting. I don't need it, but the girls do. I'm already starting to foot T1's bills, I'm sure T2 will need help at some point.

I know one mommy who's ex is being stupid about paying but she's pretty sure that his AGI is too great and he's not eligible for any stimulus monies, so she's still screwed. 

[andi9899]

Apr 3, 2020 8:46:05 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Apr 3, 2020 8:41:02 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I'm wondering if I'm getting Baby Daddy's stimulus money. That fool owes me so much back CS I'll be garnishing his SS check when he retires. He's also multiplied at least twice that I know of and was married last I knew. This will be interesting. I don't need it, but the girls do. I'm already starting to foot T1's bills, I'm sure T2 will need help at some point.

I know one mommy who's ex is being stupid about paying but she's pretty sure that his AGI is too great and he's not eligible for any stimulus monies, so she's still screwed. 

How does her state handle back CS? BD owed me so much money that the state of MO convicted him of a felony. They wanted to suspend his DL but I asked them not to. He needs to be able to get to work and support all his children, mine and those that are not mine. I went through the MO state DFS and they went to the county prosecutor. The state of KS was a joke. But since BD lives in MO, I was able to go there and get my KS order enforced. It probably helped that KC is so intertwined with both states. It may be something for her to look into.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Apr 3, 2020 8:55:26 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Apr 3, 2020 8:46:05 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I know one mommy who's ex is being stupid about paying but she's pretty sure that his AGI is too great and he's not eligible for any stimulus monies, so she's still screwed. 

How does her state handle back CS? BD owed me so much money that the state of MO convicted him of a felony. They wanted to suspend his DL but I asked them not to. He needs to be able to get to work and support all his children, mine and those that are not mine. I went through the MO state DFS and they went to the county prosecutor. The state of KS was a joke. But since BD lives in MO, I was able to go there and get my KS order enforced. It probably helped that KC is so intertwined with both states. It may be something for her to look into.

I think there are 3-4 different states involved in their divorce and support orders.  Her blog is Are We Still Having Spaghetti For Dinner at Wordpress.  She posted about the current headaches within the last month or so.