Gaming spouses support

[sheilaincali]

I joke a lot about the Hubs' gaming. It's his hobby, he enjoys it. Do I wish he spent less money on it? Absolutely but I'm the penny pincher in our relationship. On the flip side- he's made several really close friendships. As an adult he's always struggled to make friends and through gaming he has met a lot of people. His bestie owns the local game store so he spends a decent bit of time there but after 7,000 years of marriage is has finally learned to give me a heads up- Now he'll ask "do we have any plans for Saturday? The guys want to game" If I say "yes" he reschedules the guys. If I say "No" he'll make plans to game.

My biggest frustration is his complete lack of time management and time awareness. He gets in the middle of gaming and loses all track of time. Because he's bi polar he tries to maintain a pretty set schedule. Routine helps manage his bi polar and anxiety. He's 45! I should not have to text him and tell him it's past his bedtime and that he needs to stop playing board games and come home.

[azucena]

The losing track of time and losing sleep because of staying up too late is part of it.  DH thinks he can stay up until 3 and get up for work at 6:30 - hello we're not young any more.  And when he does keep that schedule, he's good for 3-4 days but then falls asleep mid-afternoon Sat or Sun which is prime family time.

I like that DH has made 7-8 gaming friends; however, these guys are all 10 yrs younger than us and every single one of them still lives at home with their parents.  Only 3 are in serious relationships, and 2 treat their gfs like crap.  The third would like to break up with his gf but she's likely to be devastated (she lives with him and his family) so he's too nice to follow through.  None of those are healthy relationships and you tend to become who you hang out with.  A few are still finishing college which means a course or two each semester to keep their parents off their backs.  A few have minimum wage retail jobs - if I have to hear about how minimum wage isn't enough to live on one more time, I don't know what I'll do.  A few literally do nothing except gaming and sleeping.  Thankfully none of them have children, but that means they have no idea what family life entails.  Two don't bother to shower regularly.  Whatever money they make they blow on new computers, gaming items, and one bought a brand new $40k car.  They all live/act like teens or college students.  So yes, DH has gaming friends, but there's only one (the too nice one) that I'd actually choose for him to hang out with.  And because he has these friends, he's not bothering to connect with dads of our daughters' friends who would be much more likely to provide empathy and guidance on marriage and parenting.

[azucena]

Our Friday night is open, so DH asked to schedule board game night from 4 to 10 at our house with my brother (not part of his typical group), one gaming friend, and DD10 and 6.  Kids will go to bed at 8.  This happens every couple of months or so.  This time, I made plans to have dinner out with a friend that I don't get to see often enough.  So I guess it works out - just can't remember the last time he and I went out - should really do something about that.

[cktc]

Jan 30, 2019 12:48:17 GMT -5 azucena said:

Our Friday night is open, so DH asked to schedule board game night from 4 to 10 at our house with my brother (not part of his typical group), one gaming friend, and DD10 and 6.  Kids will go to bed at 8.  This happens every couple of months or so.  This time, I made plans to have dinner out with a friend that I don't get to see often enough.  So I guess it works out - just can't remember the last time he and I went out - should really do something about that.

We have that problem too. I keep telling DH that I hate that all our fun time is separate. We need to find more hobbies that we can share, heck even with the kids would be preferable to the things we look forward to the most being alone or with other people. We used to hike. There is really no reason we can't do that with the kids.

[cktc]

Jan 29, 2019 11:49:01 GMT -5 azucena said:

The losing track of time and losing sleep because of staying up too late is part of it.  DH thinks he can stay up until 3 and get up for work at 6:30 - hello we're not young any more.  And when he does keep that schedule, he's good for 3-4 days but then falls asleep mid-afternoon Sat or Sun which is prime family time.

I like that DH has made 7-8 gaming friends; however, these guys are all 10 yrs younger than us and every single one of them still lives at home with their parents.  Only 3 are in serious relationships, and 2 treat their gfs like crap.  The third would like to break up with his gf but she's likely to be devastated (she lives with him and his family) so he's too nice to follow through.  None of those are healthy relationships and you tend to become who you hang out with.  A few are still finishing college which means a course or two each semester to keep their parents off their backs.  A few have minimum wage retail jobs - if I have to hear about how minimum wage isn't enough to live on one more time, I don't know what I'll do.  A few literally do nothing except gaming and sleeping.  Thankfully none of them have children, but that means they have no idea what family life entails.  Two don't bother to shower regularly.  Whatever money they make they blow on new computers, gaming items, and one bought a brand new $40k car.  They all live/act like teens or college students.  So yes, DH has gaming friends, but there's only one (the too nice one) that I'd actually choose for him to hang out with.  And because he has these friends, he's not bothering to connect with dads of our daughters' friends who would be much more likely to provide empathy and guidance on marriage and parenting.

Those friends would drive me crazy too! I can understand they are probably easier for him to plan things with because they don't have many other responsibilities, but I just can't with people who lack personal agency. We have enough family members with this affliction, I'd like our friends at least to motivate and inspire us.

[azucena]

Jan 30, 2019 13:20:44 GMT -5 cktc said:

Jan 29, 2019 11:49:01 GMT -5 azucena said:

The losing track of time and losing sleep because of staying up too late is part of it.  DH thinks he can stay up until 3 and get up for work at 6:30 - hello we're not young any more.  And when he does keep that schedule, he's good for 3-4 days but then falls asleep mid-afternoon Sat or Sun which is prime family time.

I like that DH has made 7-8 gaming friends; however, these guys are all 10 yrs younger than us and every single one of them still lives at home with their parents.  Only 3 are in serious relationships, and 2 treat their gfs like crap.  The third would like to break up with his gf but she's likely to be devastated (she lives with him and his family) so he's too nice to follow through.  None of those are healthy relationships and you tend to become who you hang out with.  A few are still finishing college which means a course or two each semester to keep their parents off their backs.  A few have minimum wage retail jobs - if I have to hear about how minimum wage isn't enough to live on one more time, I don't know what I'll do.  A few literally do nothing except gaming and sleeping.  Thankfully none of them have children, but that means they have no idea what family life entails.  Two don't bother to shower regularly.  Whatever money they make they blow on new computers, gaming items, and one bought a brand new $40k car.  They all live/act like teens or college students.  So yes, DH has gaming friends, but there's only one (the too nice one) that I'd actually choose for him to hang out with.  And because he has these friends, he's not bothering to connect with dads of our daughters' friends who would be much more likely to provide empathy and guidance on marriage and parenting.

Those friends would drive me crazy too! I can understand they are probably easier for him to plan things with because they don't have many other responsibilities, but I just can't with people who lack personal agency. We have enough family members with this affliction, I'd like our friends at least to motivate and inspire us.

And because they are able to play from 5 pm to midnight or later once a week, DH thinks that's completely reasonable.  Never mind if he hung out with other 40 yo husbands and fathers that they or at least their wives would be saying - are you crazy, you can't take that much time away from me/us?

And don't get me started about how every time we're going away for a weekend/Sunday, the first question is will he be back in time for game night instead of the more logical, huh, I'm scheduled to do something with my family so I'll cancel game night this week and still enjoy the other 3-4 weeks.  Usually he ends up driving separately and leaving family parties or kids' bball games early.  Or if we are out of town, game night continues at our house without him.    Even the neighbors think that's weird when we let them know to watch our house but oh yeah, the nerd herd is still coming over so don't call the police on them.  At least at this point, after several arguments I was able to say only the friend I trust gets our key.  Not, we'll just leave the basement unlocked (who does that?!) or we'll hide a key under the mat and leave it there all the time so we don't have to remember to put it back before we leave.


And cktc, you nailed it when you said you hate that all of your fun time is separate.  Exactly!  And then he/we wonder why our romantic life slips into subpar.

[cktc]

Jan 30, 2019 13:57:01 GMT -5 azucena said:

Jan 30, 2019 13:20:44 GMT -5 cktc said:

Those friends would drive me crazy too! I can understand they are probably easier for him to plan things with because they don't have many other responsibilities, but I just can't with people who lack personal agency. We have enough family members with this affliction, I'd like our friends at least to motivate and inspire us.

And because they are able to play from 5 pm to midnight or later once a week, DH thinks that's completely reasonable.  Never mind if he hung out with other 40 yo husbands and fathers that they or at least their wives would be saying - are you crazy, you can't take that much time away from me/us?

And don't get me started about how every time we're going away for a weekend/Sunday, the first question is will he be back in time for game night instead of the more logical, huh, I'm scheduled to do something with my family so I'll cancel game night this week and still enjoy the other 3-4 weeks.  Usually he ends up driving separately and leaving family parties or kids' bball games early.  Or if we are out of town, game night continues at our house without him.    Even the neighbors think that's weird when we let them know to watch our house but oh yeah, the nerd herd is still coming over so don't call the police on them.  At least at this point, after several arguments I was able to say only the friend I trust gets our key.  Not, we'll just leave the basement unlocked (who does that?!) or we'll hide a key under the mat and leave it there all the time so we don't have to remember to put it back before we leave.


And cktc, you nailed it when you said you hate that all of your fun time is separate.  Exactly!  And then he/we wonder why our romantic life slips into subpar.

OMG! DH wouldn't be welcome on vacation if he tried to pull that. You are a saint!

And we've done the separate cars so he can leave to play. I always wonder how amazing our family life would be if he put the time, money and thought into it that he does into gaming. Like look hun, I've spent two hours researching activities I can do with DS, and I made this busy wall for DD. Not saying he's not involved, but family time feels more like a concession than a priority a lot of the time.

[zibazinski]

Did you guys know this problem before you married them?

[cktc]

Jan 30, 2019 17:20:30 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Did you guys know this problem before you married them?

This is something that developed after we had kids. I've divorced before. This isn't anywhere close to a dealbreaker. Just sharing experiences and venting with people who can relate and appreciate some of the absurdity.

[zibazinski]

Sounds good. Well, it isn’t drugs, alcohol, or other women. Maybe he’ll grow up and out of it. It does sound like an addiction.

[azucena]

Jan 30, 2019 17:20:30 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Did you guys know this problem before you married them?

We got married right out of college at age 22 when playing magic and such was still age appropriate. I knew he would always be more carefree than me which is good because I'm pretty uptight so he balances me out.

He was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at 21 when we were already engaged. I couldn't have known that he'd have 17 surgeries over the next 10 yrs qualifying for ssdi on the first application and not working at all for 8 of those 10 yrs. I didn't realize it at the time but he almost died twice including when he weighed 90 lbs.

All that history to say, we will never know if he would have outgrown most of this without the illness but my gut says it wouldn't be this obsessive. My therapist and our joint therapist have both discussed how he missed out on his carefree 20s and in some ways will subconsciously always view life differently because of those experiences as will I. Unfortunately my role as the caregiver and keeping it all together including making medical decisions when he couldn't shaped me in the opposite way emphasizing my too mature too responsible nature. My mother having watched this all play out credits both his carefree attitude and my responsibleness as helping to keep him alive.

As cktc says, it's not a deal breaker esp since I stuck it out through those incredibly hard often hopeless years. I only wish he had more semblance of what's really normal so that I didn't come across as unreasonable or nagging. We keep working through our issues.

I'm finding it theraputic to vent to other wives here who really get it

[azucena]

A huge part of my struggle is that I don't make nearly enough time for myself because it feels selfish to me when I work 40 to 50 hours away from my family already. I dislike selfish people.

I used to play softball but a disc problem benched me a couple of years ago and I fear I'll never get back to that.

As evidenced in my depression and anxiety, I can't afford not to decompress so I'm trying to do better.

Meanwhile he has no problem carving out as much time as he wants which feels selfish to me. And the more free time he takes, the less time it leaves for us as a couple and for my self care. Our girls are getting to ages that are easier for that. Like friday he can game with them and then put them to bed and continue playing and it shouldn't matter if I'm not home from dinner with my friend yet.

[zibazinski]

I’ve always wondered about things like this. DH and most guys I know feel no guilt about being a medical or financial burden. My hairdressers husband never bothered to tell her about his health issues that even precluded him from having a child. She will work until she drops dead while he plays music with his band. Well, practices playing music. She never had a child because she married one. He must have something to redeem himself but I sure don’t see it. I’d have died a thousand deaths if DH had to wipe my butt, never bothered him one bit. I know women who totally support their spouse and kids and come home to find house a mess and kids hungry. I can’t fathom it. What happened to pride, responsibility, being an adult?

[CCL]

Jan 30, 2019 19:10:27 GMT -5 azucena said:

A huge part of my struggle is that I don't make nearly enough time for myself because it feels selfish to me when I work 40 to 50 hours away from my family already. I dislike selfish people.

I used to play softball but a disc problem benched me a couple of years ago and I fear I'll never get back to that.

As evidenced in my depression and anxiety, I can't afford not to decompress so I'm trying to do better.

Meanwhile he has no problem carving out as much time as he wants which feels selfish to me. And the more free time he takes, the less time it leaves for us as a couple and for my self care. Our girls are getting to ages that are easier for that. Like friday he can game with them and then put them to bed and continue playing and it shouldn't matter if I'm not home from dinner with my friend yet.

That's not selfish to want a little time for yourself. Sometimes you just gotta do it. It does get easier as your kids get older and can do more for themselves.

Sounds like Friday is game night. Could you maybe set aside some time on Saturdays or Sundays for family time? Even if it means busier during the week it might still be worth it.

You said hubby missed out on the fun of a teenager/20 something, but don't forget you missed out on that, too, since you were (and still are) the caregiver all those years. I know, easier said than done, but you deserve some time, too, without the guilt.

[azucena]

Jan 31, 2019 0:25:50 GMT -5 CCL said:

Jan 30, 2019 19:10:27 GMT -5 azucena said:

A huge part of my struggle is that I don't make nearly enough time for myself because it feels selfish to me when I work 40 to 50 hours away from my family already. I dislike selfish people.

I used to play softball but a disc problem benched me a couple of years ago and I fear I'll never get back to that.

As evidenced in my depression and anxiety, I can't afford not to decompress so I'm trying to do better.

Meanwhile he has no problem carving out as much time as he wants which feels selfish to me. And the more free time he takes, the less time it leaves for us as a couple and for my self care. Our girls are getting to ages that are easier for that. Like friday he can game with them and then put them to bed and continue playing and it shouldn't matter if I'm not home from dinner with my friend yet.

That's not selfish to want a little time for yourself. Sometimes you just gotta do it. It does get easier as your kids get older and can do more for themselves.

Sounds like Friday is game night. Could you maybe set aside some time on Saturdays or Sundays for family time? Even if it means busier during the week it might still be worth it.

You said hubby missed out on the fun of a teenager/20 something, but don't forget you missed out on that, too, since you were (and still are) the caregiver all those years. I know, easier said than done, but you deserve some time, too,
without the guilt.

All valid points for sure and something I've really tried to work through in therapy, but it's a work in progress.  My career has become much more demanding so that makes finding time harder but even more important because I need to let off steam.  It's just not in my nature and doesn't help that I'm an extrovert who'd rather stay home and read.  Getting to the point where my youngest is reading too so DH is starting to come home from work to find the 3 of us snuggled under my electric blanket with books happy as clams

Zib - During those tough years, DH told me to leave him several times using words like you didn't sign up for this, I don't want you to see me like this, you can do better etc.  And he never re-tells those stories without making me sound like super-wife LOL.  So I know he appreciated all of it.  He also took his turn supporting me through my final actuarial exams and propping me up when I was mega-depressed last year.  He also actively encourages me to make time for myself and is stepping up more around the house these days as I've conceded to feeling overwhelmed with work and home.  I know he's committed to me and our family even if we have different priorities sometimes.

[gs11rmb]

I just finished listening to the podcast "Broken Harts" about the two white moms who drove their six black kids off a cliff in California.  The podcast was really interesting overall but the 7th episode, which I listened to this morning, made me think of this thread.  Jennifer Hart was an obsessive gamer who spent hours and hours playing and administering groups about the game.  A member of the 'clan' was interviewed about her and about gaming culture in general.  He is a married father of five and said that he came to recognize that the more he gamed, the less interesting or exciting real life became.  It was a vicious circle of trying to get a gamer's high so you needed to spend more time actually playing, which led to even more dissatisfaction with, and disconnection from, reality.

I'm not a gamer nor is my husband so I have no personal experience with this culture.  If, however, what he says is accurate, then encouraging or even insisting your husbands spend less time on this activity could be wise.  It doesn't sound as if people just naturally taper off from gaming.

[shanendoah]

gs11rmb - In this case, I think the problem is, we use the same term "gaming" or "gamers" for all kinds of games. The type of thing they are talking about for Broken Harts is video game addiction. Not everyone who plays video games develops an addiction (just like not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic), but it is a problem that is getting a lot of press (partly because it's "new"). It is a much more common problem with video games than it is the kind of gaming we are mostly talking about here. And part of that is the personal interaction side.
It is much easier to become addicted to an activity you can do anytime without counting on other people. For board games, table top gaming, etc, you actually have to schedule with other people, and therefore, even if you want to continue forever, many of them can't or don't. You can't do this on your own without other people. (Okay, that's not really true. My father used to play Avalon Hill war board games by himself. That was the primary use of our dining room table until we got the family room built and he got a dedicated desk for his games.) But for most people, one of the biggest appeals of gaming is hanging out with other people who like games as much as you do. It's a way of connecting with your tribe.

I am not saying it is impossible, addictive personalities can become addicted to just about anything, but I don't think that's what we're seeing here.

That said, when one member of a couple is a gamer and the other is not, it absolutely does put a strain on the relationship. I've seen it countless times - from high school dating to marriages. Because it is a passion that, in general, no part of can be done alone, and if it is not being done with the significant other, then that is time away from the relationship. It is most definitely a balancing act.

I, have no advice to give on that, since in our case, we're both gamers. It is how we met, and has been part of our relationship from the beginning.

[MJ2.0]

I also wonder if people would be okay with their spouses spending the same time and money on mountain biking, model car building, or some other hobby. Is it purely about the time spent away from the relationship/family, or is it because the hobby itself is looked down upon?

I like to play video games. I used to play a lot, but I am now an extremely casual gamer. That said, I regularly spend 2+ hours a day watching my favorite YouTube groups play video games (even more now that I'm home during the day). X was a nearly obsessive gamer, and THAT caused issues. I didn't have an issue with him playing games - it was the amount of time spent alone at the computer until the wee hours of the morning every night (including weeknights) that was a problem.

[Deleted]

I have played video games since 1987 and I'll play as long as my hands hold out unless there is another option at that point.

Most of the time I play is the hour a day I am exercising on my elliptical at home, I have a nice 55 inch TV on the wall in front of it.

I do play more when Madden, The Show, Destiny or something like that comes out, its kind of nice that I can play whenever I want outside of work and nobody nags me about it.  My gf works 2nd shift 2/3 days a week and I have the extra free time to play if I so choose.

[azucena]

gs11rmb - I definitely see that with video/computer gaming.  My younger brother is definitely addicted, and I would say that DH was headed that way in his younger years so I am thankful that he rarely plays those anymore.

Shanendoah nailed it in her response.  DH's father was an alcoholic and I can see where DH has the same addictive tendencies - fortunately he's very careful with alcohol.  But there is some high involved with purchasing these games - a weird version of shopping addiction that kickstarter doesn't help.  You get to track all these new games, see if they make it production, and then six months later a random package shows up and you're surprised because you forgot about ordering that.

But my DH goes in cycles watching hours upon hours of board games and dungeons and dragons on youtube or wherever.  I see no payoff in that.  I've learned to circumvent it by not calling him out on it because that becomes a fight about how I just can't understand his hobby.  Instead I figure out things that I need his help with for a couple of nights and that breaks the cycle.

It also really links back to when he was sick and getting the mail was the absolute highlight of his day.  That was the height of netflix dvd subscriptions and we had the 3 dvd package to fill up his home alone time so there were constantly dvds coming and going through our mailbox.  He was too sick to leave the house for much else (just going to the store required being pushed in a wheelchair), and every day right after the mailman drove off, he'd head outside in his boxers and collect the goodies that arrived.  Even today, my daughters know that they shouldn't go get the mail because that's the first thing daddy is going to do when he gets home.  

MJ - for me, honestly it is partly because I do look down/am embarrassed by this gaming hobby.  But a bigger part is that it's never ending and obsessive and there is no real return.  It's also never-ending spending.  Whereas biking would be healthy, can't be done all the time.  He counters with poker and I do think I would accept that better because it's grown up and he's not going to find others in real life to play all the time (online is a different story).  Model cars are similar to the gaming miniatures which he also does and seems frivolous to me - but I'm too practical by nature and tend towards minimalism so I'd say the same thing about cars - how many do you need?  where will we keep all of them?  etc
    In our past arguments, he'd also counter that I played softball 2-3 nights a week.  This was for 2 hours at a time, and I had to bring the kids with me to watch in order to make the schedules work.  Unfortunately my back is acting up to where I can't play anymore.  And let me tell you, that didn't help me feel less resentful of his free time.

Aj - do you have kids?  Kids change the equation because you're no longer responsible for yourself and only accountable to another adult.

[cktc]

Jan 31, 2019 13:39:48 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I also wonder if people would be okay with their spouses spending the same time and money on mountain biking, model car building, or some other hobby. Is it purely about the time spent away from the relationship/family, or is it because the hobby itself is looked down upon?

I like to play video games. I used to play a lot, but I am now an extremely casual gamer. That said, I regularly spend 2+ hours a day watching my favorite YouTube groups play video games (even more now that I'm home during the day). X was a nearly obsessive gamer, and THAT caused issues. I didn't have an issue with him playing games - it was the amount of time spent alone at the computer until the wee hours of the morning every night (including weeknights) that was a problem.

I don't know, I think a huge part of the issue for me is just that we have kids, not the specific hobby itself. I do think gaming is probably a more common complaint because people can have an intention to start small and casual and then it just requires more time and money as you go. A lot of hobbies are expensive on the outset and then pay for themselves over time, or can be picked up and stepped away from as needs arise. I briefly dabbled in an MMORPG. My only responsibility at the time was a full time job and unless I abandoned all other interests I couldn't keep up. Not for me. Throw kids in the mix and it is not only drawing time away from them, it is depriving your partner of their own free time and interests. If couples and families can juggle it all, more power to them, but as shanendoah said, the balance is tough when it's just one partner. 

Part of my problem is that I do like having separate hobbies and interests and I do want to be supportive, there are just so many free hours in a week. If I'm matching him on time to myself, there is no time left for us as a couple, or us as a family.

[Lizard Queen]

When I met my DH, he bowled in 5 leagues/week.  After we were together the next season, he didn't bowl quite as much, but still bowled weekend tournaments a lot.  He cut back much more when we had kids.  I wanted him to have his time, but there was simply less time to go around period.  I recognized that he had to have his own thing, but I would have been incredibly resentful if his "thing" always overshadowed family time.  When my DH bowled, he also hung out with a much younger crowd.  They weren't the most ambitious group I've encountered, but they've all grown up themselves now.  I just couldn't with the perpetual adolescence.  I'm sorry.

[Deleted]

Jan 31, 2019 14:34:26 GMT -5 azucena said:

Aj - do you have kids?  Kids change the equation because you're no longer responsible for yourself and only accountable to another adult.

Nope

[Deleted]

I think something that made video gaming worse for adults is that if you are going to play online you have to put a lot of hours in not to get your ass kicked up and down the tv by a lot of kids that have nothing else to do but play video games.

I stay primarily offline and play at my own leisure. I couldn’t do the play till 3am to keep up with the kids.

[sheilaincali]

Jan 30, 2019 17:20:30 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Did you guys know this problem before you married them?

No I did not. In hindsight I should have paid more attention. I love the guy but it has not been an easy road. We eloped 4 months after we met and have been married for 22 years. I noticed some quirks over the years but was so wrapped up in life I didn't pay as close of attention as I maybe should have. Military, having a kid, returning home, going to work and finishing college, building a house, etc.

It all came to a head in 2007. The Hubs was diagnosed as bi polar and admitted to being a se.x addict and started treatment for that. It has been a long, long road of medications, therapy, brief martial separations, etc. Talking to his older half sister- it seems his dad was most likely an addict as well (but he died when DH was 5). His mom and her family have all struggled with alcohol abuse problems.

So yes- The Hubs has a very addictive personality- channeling it into gaming is healthier than se.x, booze, hard drugs, etc. It's semi annoying at this point BUT he's getting way way better. He will ask first before signing up to attend a board gaming convention for an entire weekend. He'll check our schedule before hosting game nights. And he's usually good about not hopping on line to pay computer games with Joe until after he's done with family/house stuff for the night.

His gaming is wide spread- he'll play a particular xbox or whatever game obsessively with his friends for a few months and then they'll move on to something else. Now it's a computer game- because of his past addiction his computer has to be in a open area so it's in the family room. If I watch TV, he is in the same room as me playing his computer game so we can still carry on a conversation.

His gaming friends- at 45 he falls on the older end of the spectrum but most of his/our gaming friends are all married with kids. Although, because his bestie owns the game store a couple of the employees will game with them- they are our son's age which is slightly weird but for the most part they are all gainfully employed, married adults.

[geenamercile]

DH and I played games together since we got together.  For us it is more of an issue because I don't have as much time to sit down and play with him.  We will get games that we are both interested in but it either turns into him getting annoyed at waiting for me to play, or me getting annoyed with him getting ahead.  Plus, some of them now of days just doesn't seem to have the story that they use too.  We pretty much were always in RPGs together, but some just seem to predictable now.  We did do the most recent GOD of War and that was pretty neat, not as over done on the violence as the last ones.  Lots of room left for them to do another.  Now we are doing Kingdom Hearts III and the girls are interested in that one too.  Had to go back and watch some youtube recaps however to remember all the twist and turns in the story.  I am the one in our family with the addictive personality.  Dark Souls was a bad one for me, and right now I have a dragon game on my phone, I do need to watch that.

[Wisconsin Beth]

shanendoah - can we talk about the Pokemon cards?  My 9 year old has recently discovered Pokemon cards, much to the bemusement of DH and myself.  He desperately wants a Pikachu card. 

[shanendoah]

Wisconsin Beth - We almost certainly have a Pikachu card in among the ones we have. Is that all you want? Or would you like more cards than that?

[Lizard Queen]

Just getting into Pokemon? My oldest is already over it, pretty much. His group was into them a couple years ago. More recently, it was bey blades, which reminded me of people betting on craps. Now, it's Roblox, but there's all kinds of different games associated with that. Bee swarm simulator a couple months ago, back into murder mystery now. A 6 and 8 yo. They join the same server from different devices.

I tell people my boys will be living in my basement when they're 30. 😒

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 4, 2019 20:37:36 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

Wisconsin Beth - We almost certainly have a Pikachu card in among the ones we have. Is that all you want? Or would you like more cards than that?

More would be greatHow do you want to be paid?

He's using them to play a sort of version of war and shuffling the cards to mix the deck. It's cute. Boring, but cute.