Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:26:14 GMT -5
SlowbutSureMessage #355 - 08/10/10 02:05 AMDear MM, I'm out of town and I asked a friend to do something (or not do something) for me. Yet, she deliberately ignored me and went against my wishes. Should I consider her a frienemy and get revenge? If so, what would be a good revenge? Or should I be nice, rent an Accord and pick her up to go on a road trip? genuine ga peachMessage #356 - 08/10/10 02:14 AMDear Out of Town, YOU started it! hope you have a good business trip SlowbutSureMessage #357 - 08/10/10 02:19 AMhope you have a good business trip I wonder if I can take the rental car from SLC to GA. It's a compact, but the trunk is HUGE! YOU started it! I have NO IDEA what you are talking about! MuscleUp.Message #358 - 08/10/10 02:28 AMSo, I'm having this dating issue. I'm an incredibly good looking guy, and I'm in great shape. I make a decent amount of money. I should be a catch, but for some reason women are intimidated by me. I don't get many that agree to a date, and the ones that do tend to ditch me at the restaurant before dinner is over. I've switched tactics and started inviting them to go sailing with me instead, but very few of them take me up on it. See, I even have my own boat. What's wrong with these ladies? I think they're scared of what they might do all alone with my awesome presence on a boat. How am I ever going to find somebody to clean my house, cook my meals, and raise my children? Please help.
Signed, Lonely Internet Guy
Lonely Internet Guy, How awful for you. This is a tough problem. You sound like a tremendous man and I just can't understand why the women aren't flocking to you. You seem to have all of the qualities that all women would want in their man. Let me make a suggestion. Instead of telling these lovely ladies all about yourself, try playing hard-to-get. Make the girls work for your attention. Sink your hooks into her then drag her to your side. She will appreciate you more and in the end she will realize that she just got the best man in the world. She will be respectful, caring to your needs, and realizing that you are the head of the household. Let me know how things go in the future. The MuscleUp!!!! 973beachbumMessage #359 - 08/10/10 12:53 PMYou sound like a tremendous man and I just can't understand why the women aren't flocking to you. You seem to have all of the qualities that all women would want in their man. Sounds like someone is thinking of switching teams. NancyinFLMessage #360 - 08/10/10 01:01 PMSink your hooks into her then drag her to your side. Well, that explains what keeps happening to Fatty Patty.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:26:51 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #361 - 08/10/10 01:04 PMGreat advice, isn't it??? genuine ga peachMessage #362 - 08/10/10 01:12 PMGreat advice, isn't it??? so, MU...how's that working for you? BluerobinMessage #363 - 08/10/10 01:20 PMDear MM, The bride thinks the new stove has a special feature. When it starts sending smoke signals, the food is done. How can I convince her that the food should come off the stove before the smoke starts? I am tired of being treated like a god! Signed, Burnt Offerings beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #364 - 08/10/10 01:37 PMI got this one MM! Dear Burnt Offerings, Get rid of the stove altogether and use the floor space for a wine chiller. Bud mo! drunky genuine ga peachMessage #365 - 08/10/10 01:41 PMhey, Burnt Offerings...maybe your bride does her cooking elsewhere RedNosedRigdeerMessage #366 - 08/10/10 02:03 PMMaybe your bride needs recipes that start out "face the stove"? Or just skip eating at home and eat all meals out. We're EE so nobody here is going to tell you to cut back on eating out so that you'll have more money to invest for retirement. Besides, if you continue to try to eat burnt offerings, you won't live until retirement.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:27:11 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #367 - 08/10/10 02:11 PMDear Burnt Offerings, My contention is that this behavior began as a result when High Schools no longer offered Home Economics to girls. I attribute this to the liberal feminist movement which also destructed American Family Life as we once knew it. This topic is beyond the scope of this thread, however, we may revisit this issue later. As a suggestion, there are various culinary schools in metropolitan areas that you could send her. The schools are like obedience schools but only regard the kitchen area, where women should spend most of their available home time when not working. Or, in a less expensive venue, local community colleges offer a limited variety of cooking classes where a girl can learn the proper methods of cooking for her husband. Let me know how this works out for you. Buy her the course for her Birthday, Anniversary, of Valentines Day. She will love you for it. The MuscleUp! BluerobinMessage #368 - 08/10/10 02:11 PMMs R, I try to eat out every night, but she gets this cooking bug every once in a while. Since I am already retired, we are poor and eat out mostly at the soup kitchen. We usually sit with Spike, Blade and Needles at the back table. They seem like a nice bunch of young guys. Signed, Burnt Offerings beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #369 - 08/10/10 02:15 PMDear Burnt Offerings, How about hiring Spike, Blade or Needles to cook? I have a feeling Needles has some expertise working with spoons and open flames. Sincerely, drunky RedNosedRigdeerMessage #370 - 08/10/10 02:33 PMWow, Wench! A capital idea...wish I'd thought of that. And he'd be offering gainful employment to someone in need. A bonus would be that Needles could offer cooking tips to your bride. (Note to Burnt Offerings: hide the silver and heirlooms and don't leave cash or credit cards lying about.) beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #371 - 08/10/10 02:36 PMWow, Wench! A capital idea... Thanks MissR! I only hope that I have done MM justice in her absence. MuscleUp.Message #372 - 08/10/10 02:37 PMI think MuscleUp offered better advice.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:27:48 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #373 - 08/10/10 02:40 PMMaybe, but mine was funnier! BluerobinMessage #374 - 08/10/10 02:42 PMDrunky, Blade claims to have experience as a butcher. Do you think I should buy a side of beef? I am almost drooling over the thought of good food again. I will ask them both when we visit the soup kitchen tonight. Burnt Offerings beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #375 - 08/10/10 02:47 PMDear Burn Off, Glad I could be of some help! And could you get a couple of cards from Blade? I think there's some posters around here who might be in need of his services on Sunday. Advicefully yours, drunky UmmboutthatMessage #376 - 08/10/10 02:48 PMAnswer: You should key their cars and slash their tires if they park next to you. UmmboutthatMessage #377 - 08/10/10 02:53 PMIt's not the invitation to go sailing that is the problem. It's the bags of cement mix, duct tape and plastic tarps that you keep in the back seat of your car that is the issue. I am in tears from laughing! I was thinking the same / similar Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #378 - 08/10/10 03:52 PMHey MU.. this thread is entitled "Dear MM" not "Dear MU"!!! Get your own gig... Well done DT!!!!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:28:09 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #379 - 08/10/10 04:00 PMDear MM, Someone has been trying to impersonate my favorite advice columnist (let's call him EU ) and he is failing miserably. On another note, I am considering employing a couple of fellows who are down on their luck. By giving jobs to homeless men and ridding the world of FU I am doubling up on charitable contributions, right? Sincerely, Tarnished Halo Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #380 - 08/10/10 04:06 PMDear MM, Someone has been trying to impersonate my favorite advice columnist (let's call him EU ) and he is failing miserably. On another note, I am considering employing a couple of fellows who are down on their luck. By giving jobs to homeless men and ridding the world of FU I am doubling up on charitable contributions, right? Sincerely, Tarnished Halo Tarnished Halo, Are the homeless men named Spike, Blade and Needles? You definitely are doing a charitable contribution by hiring them. I hope one of them has a friend named Ice to help out with the whole "ridding the world" aspect of your work. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #381 - 08/10/10 04:07 PMI am doing my best to be a modern-day Mother Teresa. MuscleUp.Message #382 - 08/10/10 04:13 PMHey MU.. this thread is entitled "Dear MM" not "Dear MU"!!! The people asked for the MuscleUp, and I delivered. TheCropChickMessage #383 - 08/10/10 04:24 PMThe people asked for the MuscleUp Can you tell us another joke! NancyinFLMessage #384 - 08/10/10 04:38 PM I hope one of them has a friend named Ice to help out with the whole "ridding the world" aspect of your work. Does Ice have a double-wide freezer to deal with this imposter?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:28:45 GMT -5
BluerobinMessage #385 - 08/10/10 05:11 PMDear MM, I don't know where Spike got to, but Blade and Needles came over to make lunch. It was wonderful. I never had such a dish. Needles injected the meat while it was marinating. It tasted great and I felt euphoric after dinner. Afterwards, he claimed it was a dish he affectionately calls stoned cat (he used other words). Should I believe him? Oh yes, the neighbor has been walking around since lunch calling for her kitty. Signed, Burnt Offerings NancyinFLMessage #386 - 08/10/10 07:08 PMAfterwards, he claimed it was a dish he affectionately calls stoned cat (he used other words). Should I believe him? Oh yes, the neighbor has been walking around since lunch calling for her kitty. As a cat lover, I really should be and . So, why am I laughing so hard I have to leave the room to pee? Dear MM, I am worried about my newfound insensitivity (see above quote and response). I used to be a commander in the politically correct police force. Any time someone would make an insensitive or ill-conceived comment about anything, I would rise up upon my soapbox and rant the bully down. My appetite for such activism seems to have been de-activated as I spend more time in this place called EEland. What should I do? Signed, Having Trouble Getting All Shook Up Marvin MartianMessage #387 - 08/10/10 07:12 PMDear Having Trouble Getting All Shook Up, Maybe you're riding the wrong ride at EEland. signed, Your favorite Martian beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #388 - 08/10/10 07:22 PMDar MM, Why is EE such a snoozefest today? I was looking forward to a rousing catfight today, and all I saw was a meager attempt at a battle of wits. Now people are talking about work. Don't we come here to get away from all of that?!?! Signed, JennysBeenAGoodGirlMessage #389 - 08/10/10 07:26 PMMaybe you're riding the wrong ride at EEland and LMAO!!! wvugurl26Message #390 - 08/10/10 07:29 PMDear Queen, I'll try harder next time. Signed, Failing at Entertaining the Queen
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:29:06 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #391 - 08/10/10 07:31 PMThanks wvu! If you'd stop using work acronyms and I'll be able to follow along better. JennysBeenAGoodGirlMessage #392 - 08/10/10 07:32 PMis FML a work acronym? wvugurl26Message #393 - 08/10/10 07:32 PMSorry we were talking about our development plan, its just goals for things you want to accomplish during the year. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #394 - 08/10/10 07:34 PMis FML a work acronym? Like that was the only one she's ever used. Marvin MartianMessage #395 - 08/10/10 07:35 PMis FML a work acronym?
As long as JHC or JFC are.... wvugurl26Message #396 - 08/10/10 07:36 PMis FML a work acronym? When the big dogs want something and they want it yesterday, yes it is an appropriate work acronym for me. I also think it applies to getting up at 4:15am to catch a flight.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:29:42 GMT -5
BluerobinMessage #397 - 08/10/10 07:36 PMDear MM, I just received a bunch of stills from my latest movie shoot. I look like a fat old man! I just can't understand it. That fat old guy in the mirror took over in the movie too. Signed, Just Husky Sparrows sleeping thru the holidaysMessage #398 - 08/10/10 07:51 PMis FML a work acronym? I know what that is- my 14 y/o uses it. chartersuxMessage #399 - 08/10/10 07:54 PMI know what that is It's a hilarious website.. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #400 - 08/10/10 07:56 PMDear Big Bone-ded, I just received a bunch of stills from my latest movie shoot. I look like a fat old man! I just can't understand it. Everyone knows the camera adds 10 lbs! For a man of your stature, I am sure it is closer to 20 or 30. That fat old guy in the mirror took over in the movie too. I'm sure he did! You're gonna be a NancyinFLMessage #401 - 08/10/10 07:57 PMYour favorite Martian Yes you certainly are! But there is no wrong ride in EEland. I thought they were all "F" ticket rides (minds out of the gutter. That's an old Disney reference way back in the day) Marvin MartianMessage #402 - 08/10/10 08:03 PMYes you certainly are! But there is no wrong ride in EEland I beg to differ. I'm sure MUs ride isn't as entertaining as mine.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:30:03 GMT -5
chartersuxMessage #403 - 08/10/10 08:06 PMDear MM, Today I developed an almost uncontrollable urge to poke my eyes out. Is there an acronym for that? Signed, OMGKWIM beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #404 - 08/10/10 08:09 PMDear OMGKWIM, Please, please PLEASE remember that you MUST hit the frontal lobe in order for a Lobotomy to work. Going through the eye is a bit unconventional, but should do the trick! Sincerely, Can you pass the icepick when you're through with it? JennysBeenAGoodGirlMessage #405 - 08/10/10 08:13 PMOMGKWIM, just make sure whatever instrument you use is sterile. chartersuxMessage #406 - 08/10/10 08:15 PMjust make sure whatever instrument you use is sterile. That's what SHE said.... NancyinFLMessage #407 - 08/10/10 08:19 PMI beg to differ. I'm sure MUs ride isn't as entertaining as mine. MU's ride is so wrong, it's an "F" ticket for the sheer educational value. I mean, where else will you learn from a true Neanderthal how to: make the women dash from the salad course throw themselves overboard from a boat tie themselves to an immovable object rather than go on a date Important life lessons here, ya know! Marvin MartianMessage #408 - 08/10/10 08:23 PMImportant life lessons here, ya know! How to recognize a d-bag at 20 paces?
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:30:39 GMT -5
NancyinFLMessage #409 - 08/10/10 08:25 PMHow to recognize a d-bag at 20 paces? Duh-oh! That, too. Also: How to make women love, honor and obey you (while they LTAO the entire time, using your credit cards to buy shoes). Marvin MartianMessage #410 - 08/10/10 08:26 PMHow to make women love, honor and obey you (while they LTAO the entire time, using your credit cards to buy shoes). I already know how to do that. It involves me thinking I'm in charge while she allows me my delusion and spends our money. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #411 - 08/10/10 08:43 PMI am worried about my newfound insensitivity Dear Having Trouble Getting All Shook up, being insensitive is a requirement here at EE so no worries. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #412 - 08/10/10 08:44 PMDear OMGKIWM, I see that DT has already answered your question. I believe I have recommended the ice pick on several occassions. I hope it works for you too. MuscleUp.Message #413 - 08/10/10 08:54 PMLadiesssssssssss,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm home!!!!!! Need advice? Looking for something to do?? I'm here !! genuine ga peachMessage #414 - 08/10/10 08:59 PM
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:31:00 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #415 - 08/10/10 10:05 PMBugs, my love? I will save you! beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #416 - 08/10/10 10:09 PMI think they're your minions waiting to do your bidding. MuscleUp.Message #417 - 08/10/10 10:10 PMWhat's a minion? Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #418 - 08/10/10 10:12 PMI think they're your minions waiting to do your bidding. Oops.. I thought they were his offspring... MuscleUp.Message #419 - 08/10/10 10:14 PM minion - a servile or fawning dependant [ www.thefreedictionary.com/dependant] dependant, [ www.thefreedictionary.com/dependent] dependent - a person who relies on another person for support (especially financial support) I get it now. It's a woman!!!! They really look like crickets. If you rub your legs together, will you make a chirping sound? beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #420 - 08/10/10 10:15 PMLOL! No wonder you can't get past the salad course! Your dates are scurrying to the Roach Motels in the kitchen.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:31:36 GMT -5
Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #421 - 08/10/10 10:16 PMI get it now. It's a woman!!!! You wish you could get a woman... MuscleUp.Message #422 - 08/10/10 10:17 PM Get outta here!!!!! beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #423 - 08/10/10 10:18 PMWho, me? ETA: Take that everyone! I got 4!!! MuscleUp.Message #424 - 08/10/10 10:19 PMNeed advice? Talk to me!!!! I'm the answer man!!! Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #425 - 08/10/10 10:20 PMWho, me? Well I know he can't be talking to me.. this is a thread with my name in the title afterall... MuscleUp.Message #426 - 08/10/10 10:23 PMThe title has a capital M for MuscleUp. I will share with you, however.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:31:57 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #427 - 08/10/10 10:24 PMBeer, need any advice. Go ahead. I have the answers. Trust me. MuscleUp.Message #428 - 08/10/10 10:26 PMGo ahead, ask me anything!!!! I'm waiting. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #429 - 08/10/10 10:26 PMBeer, need any advice. Go ahead. I have the answers. Trust me. Oh this ought to be good... MuscleUp.Message #430 - 08/10/10 10:27 PM Hey, I'm open for business. I know you're wanting some advice. I'm here!!!!! beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #431 - 08/10/10 10:28 PMSure, what the heck! Dear MU, I frequently run into a very misogynistic person almost daily. I believe his affliction is the result of poor female role-models in his life. I want to do something to help mend his chauvinistic ways and I think I have found the answer! So, my question is; do you think it would be in poor taste to have a mail-order bride sent to his house? She comes highly recommended!! Sincerely, Modern Day Mother Teresa MuscleUp.Message #432 - 08/10/10 10:28 PMBeer, are you there? ? Too embarrassed? Have no fear. You can trust me.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:32:33 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #433 - 08/10/10 10:30 PM look up MU MuscleUp.Message #434 - 08/10/10 10:32 PM help mend his chauvinistic ways Beer, I'm glad you asked. First, I think your perspective is misleading. Everything is relative as we all know. Maybe he doesn't have a problem at all. Maybe you are transferring your problem onto him. Maybe you have an inferiority problem with your feminity. Lets look for a solution for you. I think you need a strong male in your life. A man that can keep you from floating into obscurity. That's the solution!!!! beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #435 - 08/10/10 10:33 PMHow to make women love, honor and obey you Well.......I can't promise the love thing right away, but she should be good about the honoring and obeying. She is a beautiful young blonde, BTW. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #436 - 08/10/10 10:33 PMOkay... I'll give it a shot... Dear MU, I like to go to the gym after work and get in a good workout. I'm out on the weight floor and there is this really odd looking guy that is always there. He's about 4'11" and has kind of purply colored skin (I'll assume too much tanning booth) and he rarely lifts weights. He just stands in front of the mirror flexing. Does he not realize how ridiculous he looks? And then myself along some of the other ladies in the gym will try and give each other fair warning that he is there by sending each other the "Universal Creepy Guy in the Vicinity" Hair Toss. He seems fascinated by it and has even tried to approach a couple of the women who have just completed the hair toss. They promptly spray him with mace, but he still doesn't seem to get the hint. How should we handle this going forward? Thank you, Sincerely, Annoyed in Annapolis MuscleUp.Message #437 - 08/10/10 10:35 PMDear MM, I need to think about this complex problem and I will most certainly have a solution for you tomorrow. The MuscleUp. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #438 - 08/10/10 10:36 PMA man that can keep you from floating into obscurity. All women are not blow-ups MU!!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:32:54 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #439 - 08/10/10 10:37 PM give each other fair warning that he is there by sending each other the "Universal Creepy Guy in the Vicinity" Hair Toss. LMAO! POTD MuscleUp.Message #440 - 08/10/10 10:39 PMDear Beer, I'm closed for the evening. Giving behavioral advice is mind draining. As much as I know how you two relish in my advice, I hope you can sleep one more night pondering your turmoil. Have no fear. This man will have a solution for you. That's what we do best. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #441 - 08/10/10 10:39 PMA man that can keep you from floating into obscurity. All women are not blow-ups MU!! LOL!!! Oh come on, admit it, you wouldn't mind being tethered like a balloon... Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #442 - 08/10/10 10:40 PMI need to think about this complex problem and I will most certainly have a solution for you tomorrow. Let me know how many "hair tosses" you witness this evening... beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #443 - 08/10/10 10:42 PMOh come on, admit it, you wouldn't mind being tethered like a balloon... Great idea for tonight MM! I'll be by around 9-ish. MuscleUp.Message #444 - 08/10/10 10:45 PMBoth of you,,,,,,,, go away.....
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:33:30 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #445 - 08/10/10 10:46 PMSweet dreams, MU! Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #446 - 08/10/10 10:46 PMGreat idea for tonight MM! I'll be by around 9-ish. See you then! Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #447 - 08/10/10 10:47 PMBoth of you,,,,,,,, go away..... Silly MU. <<MM pats MU on the top of the head>> NancyinFLMessage #448 - 08/11/10 12:15 AMOh come on, admit it, you wouldn't mind being tethered like a balloon... Or having a balloon tethered to it...yeah, that would keep the gals around for the salad course, all right...pointing and laughing. Oh, and BTW, how come you need extra time to reply to questions, MU? MM does not have any problem delivering thoughtful advice when called upon. You think beauty rest is going to help deliver brain power? Nope, not happening. UmmboutthatMessage #449 - 08/11/10 02:12 AMLet me know how many "hair tosses" you witness this evening... that is funny! Dear MM one of us keeps bumping up old threads that are old or year old or two years old! Is it a problem for EE readers to being up the past? genuine ga peachMessage #450 - 08/11/10 02:15 AMIs it a problem for EE readers to bring up the past? nope. Lots of pure comedy gold just waiting to be discovered!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:33:51 GMT -5
SlowbutSureMessage #451 - 08/11/10 02:16 AMIs it a problem for EE readers to being up the past? Yeah, like we really remember anything that happened more than a week ago. UmmboutthatMessage #452 - 08/11/10 05:15 AMDear MM my current job is a dead end and I am very over qualified for it. Actually one of the Sales guys came in with his 14 year old son and asked if I can keep him busy for the day. So a 14 year old child can do my job no problems! But I don't leave because I have so much freedom to start and leave when I want, can work from home when I want, employee reviews are a joke and not taken seriously, under qualified people keep getting hired because of who they know, no one enforces the rules of dress code, as long as I do get my work done my boss is happy, and as long as I don't get too full of myself I really don't see me getting fired. Question is should I give this up and look for a job and work elsewhere where to make more money, hopefully it's not a dead end job and have the chance to be promoted, and challenging so I can use my brain again? Sincerely, Stale BluerobinMessage #453 - 08/11/10 10:23 AMSBS, you can remember a whole week? Wow! I have trouble remembering more than a couple hours. MuscleUp.Message #454 - 08/11/10 11:37 AMMargarita, it seems like you dwell on this person a bit much. First, let's try to discover your relationship with this person. Are you fighting off the temptation of falling for his charms? Do you have an overwhelming desire to be with this person, yet don't feel good enough for him. You seem to put up a wall between you and him. Your criticisms are nothing more than a deep seated resentment towards your own feelings of inferiority. I personally think you have great potential. I believe in you! Second, drop the girlfriends and the, "girl hair toss." It's unbecoming and rather childish. You girls remind me of the movie, Mean Girls, with that Lindsey girl. When you resolve your own internal issues, you will detach from these long haired trolips and see your own beauty and this person will see the goodness in you. Let yourself go with this person, not in a romantic relationship, but in a friendly way. He could show you new things about lifting weights, and keeping your body in a healthy condition. I must also to tell you don't ever get between this person and the mirror. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #455 - 08/11/10 12:52 PMMaybe you are transferring your problem onto him. Maybe you have an inferiority problem with your feminity. Your criticisms are nothing more than a deep seated resentment towards your own feelings of inferiority. So, it is only the Women of EE with inferiority complexes, or do all women suffer this affliction? MuscleUp.Message #456 - 08/11/10 01:00 PMSo, it is only the Women of EE with inferiority complexes, or do all women suffer this affliction? You can't make these assumptions although we can see that most EE women do have inferiority complexes. I can say this because of all of the drinking that they do. The majority of woman in society suffer from Victim Syndrome. This comes from a variety of areas including such things as, Cosmopolitan, Girl Movies, The View, Desperate Housewives, and bridal showers. Anywhere you find women congregated, you will find a group of victims.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:34:27 GMT -5
beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #457 - 08/11/10 01:03 PMInteresting. Please elaborate. genuine ga peachMessage #458 - 08/11/10 01:09 PMCosmopolitan, Girl Movies, The View, Desperate Housewives, and bridal showers. haven't read Cosmo in YEARS...and I never drank one. Either way, not an issue. I HATE chick flicks. Never watched The View or Desperate Housewives. Only go to bridal showers when I'm forced. My preference is to RSVP a NO and send a gift (unless it's a crazy group of gals. The kind where pin the doodle on the groom might be played ) BluerobinMessage #459 - 08/11/10 01:10 PMIsn't the View pathetic? MuscleUp.Message #460 - 08/11/10 01:10 PMYou have all of the symptoms of being a lesbian. Do you have a Butch haircut? MuscleUp.Message #461 - 08/11/10 01:14 PMIsn't the View pathetic Yes, and this is the reason that women have such a pessimistic outlook to society ( the glass ceiling effect), their realtionships with men ( aka men don't understand them), and feelings of self worth ( there are too many diagnoses of related mental illnesses). NancyinFLMessage #462 - 08/11/10 01:15 PM
haven't read Cosmo in YEARS...and I never drank one. Either way, not an issue.
I HATE chick flicks.
Never watched The View or Desperate Housewives.
Only go to bridal showers when I'm forced. My preference is to RSVP a NO and send a gift (unless it's a crazy group of gals. The kind where pin the doodle on the groom might be played Peach, I think you are my long-lost twin sister. You have all of the symptoms of being a lesbian Aw, MU, calling us names again? You're edging around the CoC, with that, ya know. Not to mention giving our gay sisters a bad name.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:34:48 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #463 - 08/11/10 01:16 PMAw, MU, calling us names again? No, I'm not calling anyone names. I'm just making an assumption from what she said. Is that so bad? beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #464 - 08/11/10 01:18 PMYou have all of the symptoms of being a lesbian. THIS is your astute insight?!?! I think I'll stick with MM, thankyouverymuch. ETA: If I wanted advice from a troglodyte I'd have asked George W. Crane. genuine ga peachMessage #465 - 08/11/10 01:23 PMYou have all of the symptoms of being a lesbian. always the first response when a man unsure of his own sexuality gets turned down by women...the must all be gay. MU, I my hair is just below shoulder length. Thank you for your interest. I think you are my long-lost twin sister. me, you, and Morrobay...what an AWESOME group! I think Miss R would gladly join us too! MuscleUp.Message #466 - 08/11/10 01:24 PMme, you, and Morrobay...what an AWESOME group! I think Miss R would gladly join us too! Here we go with the Victim's Group! genuine ga peachMessage #467 - 08/11/10 01:31 PMno, MU. It doesn't matter how much you beg...we will NOT make you our victim. You'll just have to continue your love affair with your own reflection (and the neighbor's dog) NancyinFLMessage #468 - 08/11/10 01:46 PMHere we go with the Victim's Group! I checked my synonym dictionary....awesome and victim are not listed together. What reference book is MU using? Peach, it would be great if all the EE ladies could get together somewhere. I think a few are considering coming to Florida next winter. Talk about a girls' weekend. Holy smokin' good time, Batman!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:35:24 GMT -5
UmmboutthatMessage #469 - 08/11/10 02:58 PMDear MM, I have two teenage neighbors that live with two adult women. one day the four of them came home and the older teen was dressed....well not sure how to put it? She had on a halter top hugging her c cup, exposing her mid section flat stomach, wearing fitted short shorts, which were unbuttoned at the top, exposing the yellow color underneath in the front and the top in back, legs fully exposed. I understand that women will raise their daughters differently than a man, but there is no man living there. Question should I express my concern to the adult woman living their that she really should express concern to the way the teen is dressing in public? Sincerely Peeping Tom Concerned Neighbor Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #470 - 08/11/10 03:56 PMDear Readers, My apologies for the misogynistic troglodyte who has hijacked some of the letters you have sent to my attention. We currently have him hogtied and duct taped and are awaiting shipping instructions to either Timbuktu or BFE, whichever is less expensive. (Tough economic times and all) I will work on responding to those hijacked letters at the first possible opportunity. Thank you for your understanding and patience while we work through this. Sincerely, MM MuscleUp.Message #471 - 08/11/10 04:23 PM Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #472 - 08/11/10 04:26 PM*snicker* <<MM adds another few pieces of duct tape to MU's hands so he can't type>> genuine ga peachMessage #473 - 08/11/10 04:38 PMMM adds another few pieces of duct tape to MU's hands so he can't type THANKS! That will make Be Kind to MU Month go so much better! BluerobinMessage #474 - 08/11/10 06:12 PMDear MM, I ventured to YM and they were discussing Montana Fishburn's porno video. I hadda look. Then I went blind for a few hours. How do I get the vision outta my head? Signed, OMG!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:35:45 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #475 - 08/11/10 06:17 PM<<tee hee>> Then I went blind for a few hours. Oh, don't have any fear at all. Your vision will return although might be a bit blurry for awhile. I'm glad I could help, Margarita beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #476 - 08/11/10 06:21 PMLOL! And being the "loner" that he is, MU know all about what can and can't make you go blind. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #477 - 08/11/10 06:24 PM And being the "loner" that he is, MU know all about what can and can't make you go blind. He's probably really frustrated now that his hands have been duct taped. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #478 - 08/11/10 06:25 PMThat would explain why he gave you a record-breaking 6 of these . Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #479 - 08/11/10 06:28 PMThat would explain why he gave you a record-breaking 6 of these Can't touch this Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #480 - 08/11/10 06:30 PMDear MM, I ventured to YM and they were discussing Montana Fishburn's porno video. I hadda look. Then I went blind for a few hours. How do I get the vision outta my head? Signed, OMG! Dear OMG, Lesson Number 1: Never google anything you read about on these boards. NEVER!!! Tina could have told you that. I've mentioned an icepick in the ear to a couple of people to help with disturbing images... give it a shot.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:36:22 GMT -5
genuine ga peachMessage #481 - 08/11/10 06:38 PM hmmm...looks like the nasal cavity is the preferred lobotomy route. chartersuxMessage #482 - 08/11/10 06:42 PMDear MM, I can't find my icepick. Will chopsticks work in an emergency? They're red, if that helps. Signed, blahblahblahaggghhhh?hhhhhhh! MuscleUp.Message #483 - 08/11/10 06:52 PMDear MM, I can't find my icepick. Will chopsticks work in an emergency? They're red, if that helps <<tee hee >>> Of course, be my guest. We have all of these issues worked out. See you at the next Victims Support Group Meeting, Margarita. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #484 - 08/11/10 06:57 PMWe have all of these issues worked out. Women with issues............................. EGADS! Why, that isn't MM posting at all! It's MU in drag!!! And what a handsome woman he makes, huh ladies?!?! MuscleUp.Message #485 - 08/11/10 07:00 PM I don't care. I'm not posting in this thread any longer. Let it die a natural death. I was only trying to help MM out. This thread needs an anchor so it slowly sinks to the bottom. NancyinFLMessage #486 - 08/11/10 07:24 PMI'm not posting in this thread any longer MUD pout. I was only trying to help MM out.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:36:42 GMT -5
genuine ga peachMessage #487 - 08/11/10 07:29 PMI'm not posting in this thread any longer. you say that like it's a bad thing NancyinFLMessage #488 - 08/11/10 07:43 PMyou say that like it's a bad thing LMAO!!!!!!! wvugurl26Message #489 - 08/11/10 07:44 PMI'm not posting in this thread any longer. Like we could get so lucky. NancyinFLMessage #490 - 08/11/10 07:48 PMAnyone want to start a betting pool on how long it will be before MU and the horse he rode in on come back? I think less than 24 hours. He cannot resist us. genuine ga peachMessage #491 - 08/11/10 07:54 PMhopefully his menstrual cramps aren't too painful LongSamMessage #492 - 08/11/10 08:05 PMLadies, note only one in each of his paragraphs which means he will be back..... If you see then the worry would start........bahahaha, did I say worry???
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:37:19 GMT -5
NancyinFLMessage #493 - 08/11/10 08:05 PMYou think that's why he left, peach? Time of the month thing? Or has the discomfort altered his thought patterns? genuine ga peachMessage #494 - 08/11/10 08:14 PMhe has been grouchy lately. Poor MU. That first period is really tough (as I recall). At his age, it's probably much worse. wvugurl26Message #495 - 08/11/10 08:16 PMSam, MM got 6 from MU earlier today. MB-NYMessage #496 - 08/11/10 08:38 PMDear MM; I have a question for a friend; we'll call him UM. I don't know how it happened, but he is possibly suffering from male menstrual pains. Any suggestions for treatment? (signed) A-Mydol-a-day-keeps-the-grumpies-away Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #497 - 08/11/10 08:47 PMDear MM, I can't find my icepick. Will chopsticks work in an emergency? They're red, if that helps. Signed, blahblahblahaggghhhhhhhhhhh! Dear blah, Yes, red chopsticks can substitute for an icepick in a pinch. Just make sure you eat something extra spicey with the chopsticks first like Kung Pao something or other with extra chili sauce to simulate an icepick experience. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #498 - 08/11/10 08:49 PM I don't care. I'm not posting in this thread any longer. Let it die a natural death. I was only trying to help MM out. This thread needs an anchor so it slowly sinks to the bottom. Hold on MU... let me call the WAH-mbulance for you... where is the number... oh yes.. here it is...Dial "9-whine-whine" in an emergency.
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:37:40 GMT -5
Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #499 - 08/11/10 08:50 PMDear MM; I have a question for a friend; we'll call him UM. I don't know how it happened, but he is possibly suffering from male menstrual pains. Any suggestions for treatment? (signed) A-Mydol-a-day-keeps-the-grumpies-away Dear A-Mydol-a-day, the solution would be for the rest of the posters to perform a lobotomy on UM... then he will forget all about his menstrual cramps. genuine ga peachMessage #500 - 08/11/10 08:54 PMthe solution would be for the rest of the posters to perform a lobotomy on UM I bet there will be a record number of volunteers! Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #501 - 08/11/10 08:55 PMI bet there will be a record number of volunteers! The line will be longer than the one waiting to sign up for Section 8 housing... BluerobinMessage #502 - 08/11/10 08:57 PMDear MM, Thank-you. I actually do feel better with the ice pick in my ear. How long should I keep it in? Signed, OMG Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #503 - 08/11/10 08:58 PMOMG, You may remove the icepick once the disturbing images are gone from your head. I'm glad it worked for you! BluerobinMessage #504 - 08/11/10 09:00 PMMM, do I have to? It hurts so good!
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:38:16 GMT -5
Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #505 - 08/11/10 09:01 PMOMG, You can leave it in as long as you like. And yes.. that's what she said. SlowbutSureMessage #506 - 08/12/10 02:03 AMSBS, you can remember a whole week? Wow! I can! That's why they pay me the medium-sized bucks. SlowbutSureMessage #507 - 08/12/10 02:12 AMI've mentioned an icepick in the ear to a couple of people to help with disturbing images... give it a shot. Dear MM, In the last week, I have found your sage advice very user-friendly, practical and down-to-earth. However, I am really disappointed in the above advice that you gave in yesterday's column. Why on earth would you waste a shot on an icepick? Signed, Confused and in desperate need of another shot. MuscleUp.Message #508 - 08/12/10 12:41 PMDear Confused, << tee hee, again>> <<I'm so giddy>> the icepick is really just a metaphor for keeping beautiful love in your life. With an icepick your love will never leave you. Now go greet the day. The Lovely Margarita! NancyinFLMessage #509 - 08/12/10 01:18 PMWith an icepick your love will never leave you. Yup...'splains why Fatty Patty is still lying around MU's place. MuscleUp.Message #510 - 08/12/10 01:21 PMDear Nancy, << tee hee>> <<one more time>> You should learn to be nice to the MuscleUp. He is a charming man!! The Lovely Margarita,
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:38:37 GMT -5
wvugurl26Message #511 - 08/12/10 01:24 PMDear MU posing as The Lovely Margarita, Lay off the <<tee hee>> NancyinFLMessage #512 - 08/12/10 01:31 PMLay off the <<tee hee>> Indeed. That's 8 dollars' classic line, anyway. Imitation is not the highest form of flattery. MU ought to be able to do better. genuine ga peachMessage #513 - 08/12/10 01:32 PMMU ought to be able to do better. I'm sure he hears that often wvugurl26Message #514 - 08/12/10 01:34 PMI'm sure he hears that often Fatty Patty can talk MuscleUp.Message #515 - 08/12/10 01:37 PMNeed advice??? I'm here to help. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #516 - 08/12/10 01:42 PMDear MU, I feel so.............victimized!! My favorite advice columnist seems to have been overcome by the giggles << tee hee>>. Also, the quality of her advice has really gone down the tubes. I have been a loyal reader for almost a week now, what should I do? Signed, drunky, but not that drunk
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:39:13 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #517 - 08/12/10 01:47 PMDear Drunky, Of course her advice is lame. She's a woman and therefore her advice is highly biased and unusual and lacks sound judgement. Remember, if you're a woman, you need a man in your life to show you the way and be your moral compass. Adam and Eve were living so well in the Garden of Eden until Eve tricked poor Adam into eating the forbidden fruit. Then, all hell broke loose and ever since everyone has been suffering. The MuscleUp. wvugurl26Message #518 - 08/12/10 01:51 PMDear MU, The serpent had to really work at getting Eve to eat the apple. Eve just said hey Adam eat this apple and he did. MuscleUp.Message #519 - 08/12/10 01:56 PMAdam was lied to like, Osanka did to Mel Gibson, like what's her name did to Donald Trump,... like so many women did to their man. Men are very trusting. Give me something more difficult to explain. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #520 - 08/12/10 01:58 PMDear MU, One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch. Maybe you should take a break from the produce section for a while. Don't forget to ask for help with your bags when you do go back. << tee hee >> Sincerely, drunky MuscleUp.Message #521 - 08/12/10 02:21 PMDear Drunky, <<tee hee>>> We women need to learn our place in society. It is a man's world and we should be subservient to our husbands. I know many ugly women will disagree with me but having our husbands be the Head-of-Household only promotes harmony and reduces friction. Let's be good housewife's and make our husbands feel like kings. The Lovely Margarita. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #522 - 08/12/10 02:28 PMDear MM, What kind of kool-aid are you putting in your Margarita Mix?!? This faithful reader is seriously considering going back to reading the Pla*yboy Advisor........errr.........I mean, Dear Abby. I will check in later and I hope your advice is back up to your usual standards. Sincerely, a very disappointed drunky
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:39:34 GMT -5
MuscleUp.Message #523 - 08/12/10 02:43 PMLet's throw out an anchor on this thread and let it sink. OK? genuine ga peachMessage #524 - 08/12/10 02:46 PMI guess we can add catty to the list of MU menstrual symptoms. Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #525 - 08/12/10 04:30 PMMU!!! I'm not laughing!!!! Or giggling!!!! How did you get out of that wooden crate? BluerobinMessage #526 - 08/12/10 04:31 PMMM, didn't you put him in the ice cream freezer? Gift Wrapped MargaritaMessage #527 - 08/12/10 04:32 PMHe was boxed up to ship off to BFE... I'm calling UPS right now to find out what happened. wvugurl26Message #528 - 08/12/10 05:16 PMHe was boxed up to ship off to BFE... I'm calling UPS right now to find out what happened. Good help is hard to find
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 30, 2010 9:40:10 GMT -5
BluerobinMessage #529 - 08/12/10 05:18 PMI know these guys at a french restaurant, could put him on ice! Angel 33Message #530 - 08/12/10 05:26 PMI thought Mudsie promised not to post on this thread anymore. MuscleUp.Message #531 - 08/12/10 05:39 PM<< MuscleUp throws out anchor and watches it disappear fading out of sight until it reaches the bottom >>>> No more coming back here. I resolve that. May I die a horrible death if I post here again. beerwench over 29000 bits of drivel postedMessage #532 - 08/12/10 05:43 PMIsn't your horrible life enough for you?!?! (ITBIC <--- being nice to MU) UmmboutthatMessage #533 - 08/12/10 05:45 PM MU ought to be able to do better.I'm sure he hears that often wow! stabb! NancyinFLMessage #534 - 08/12/10 05:48 PM
<< MuscleUp throws out anchor and watches it disappear fading out of sight until it reaches the bottom >>>>
No more coming back here. I resolve that. May I die a horrible death if I post here again Chucking Fatty Patty overboard again, eh? MU, you cannot stay away. You know you cannot do it. The ladies draw you in like birdseed draws a squirrel. No matter how much you try to hide the birdseed, in whatever cockamamie anti-critter contraption you can find or build, the squirrel always finds the seed.
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