countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 6, 2021 18:02:49 GMT -5
We went to see MIL today, she looks good, but she is out of it. Partly meds, decline too. I told hubs she is not eating enough as we got a bill for Ensure and also incontinent pants. Almost $400, medicaid doesn't pay for things like that. There is enough in her account to pay it. Every month though I don't know.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 8, 2021 2:42:29 GMT -5
We went to see MIL today, she looks good, but she is out of it. Partly meds, decline too. I told hubs she is not eating enough as we got a bill for Ensure and also incontinent pants. Almost $400, medicaid doesn't pay for things like that. There is enough in her account to pay it. Every month though I don't know. Can you do an a amazon subscription? Two shipments a month of ensure would run you 65/month or so. That's for 48. I think you could also get enough incontinet supplies for under 100/month. Might be cheaper in the long run
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 8, 2021 15:14:26 GMT -5
We went to see MIL today, she looks good, but she is out of it. Partly meds, decline too. I told hubs she is not eating enough as we got a bill for Ensure and also incontinent pants. Almost $400, medicaid doesn't pay for things like that. There is enough in her account to pay it. Every month though I don't know. Can you do an a amazon subscription? Two shipments a month of ensure would run you 65/month or so. That's for 48. I think you could also get enough incontinet supplies for under 100/month. Might be cheaper in the long run Excellent idea. The absolute worst place to buy these things is getting them through whatever professional facilities that are offering them. I remember being charged $10 EACH for incision dressings from the hospital. TD bought a box of 10 for $20 off of Amazon.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on May 9, 2021 18:03:00 GMT -5
We went to see MIL today, she looks good, but she is out of it. Partly meds, decline too. I told hubs she is not eating enough as we got a bill for Ensure and also incontinent pants. Almost $400, medicaid doesn't pay for things like that. There is enough in her account to pay it. Every month though I don't know. My friend bought her mother's incontinent supplies at Costco and took them to her nursing home for a 75% savings. She also realized that the nursing home was charging Medicare each month to weigh and measure her. After a short discussion, she saved the taxpayers of America that expense. Nursing homes have profit centers just like every other business.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 9, 2021 18:25:02 GMT -5
Yes, we may have to do that, but she has money from the last stimulus check we can use. She gets $90 a month from VA and $50 from the state. We have spent down everything else of hers.
The money from VA is still sitting in a Miller Trust, $16k, we keep waiting for them to take it back. I need to call the state medicaid, getting some weird letters from them again in regard to it, sigh.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 21, 2021 23:08:47 GMT -5
Oh my, got a call at 10 last night about MIL. I don't know if she is hallucinating or what. The nurse said she was doing meds and MIL came up behind her and started hitting her. Tried to scratch her, and yelling at her. She didn't say if she knocked her down, she had done that to one before. She thinks people are talking about her and this nurse thinks she may remind her of someone e does not like. They are to report to the family immediately any incidences like this to us.
Hubs couldn't see her this week, they had an employee that got covid. They have some staff and some residents that will not get shots. I'm like hubs, they should isolate the employees and residents that won't get it. I really think they should require everyone there to be immunized. They have had 33 deaths, though none lately.
My fear is they will not keep her. I think there is one other place for people like her but its much further away. And I bet this one is preferable. They are very good to the clients there.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 22, 2021 7:16:42 GMT -5
We went to see MIL today, she looks good, but she is out of it. Partly meds, decline too. I told hubs she is not eating enough as we got a bill for Ensure and also incontinent pants. Almost $400, medicaid doesn't pay for things like that. There is enough in her account to pay it. Every month though I don't know. My friend bought her mother's incontinent supplies at Costco and took them to her nursing home for a 75% savings. She also realized that the nursing home was charging Medicare each month to weigh and measure her. After a short discussion, she saved the taxpayers of America that expense. Nursing homes have profit centers just like every other business. A good portion of our resident's families order Ensure and adult diapers on a regular basis. I don't work in a LTC nursing home, but weighing someone on a regular basis helps catch significant weight loss or weight gain that might point to a medical issue.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on May 24, 2021 9:01:29 GMT -5
Very true, however, in the case I mentioned above, the resident had terminal dementia and other end of life complications. She had a dnr order and was not going to get better. The family was only concerned with her comfort until the end of her life.
I know some cancer patients can loose a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. My father lost 100 pounds the last year of his life. Rapid weight gain or loss is usually a sign of something going on.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jun 9, 2021 10:50:29 GMT -5
I haven't done a an update in a while about MIL. Last weekend DH called her and she told him that she kicked the Pond Guy's nephew out of her house "because she's an old lady who is not used to living with anyone else". I don't know that I believe that's a true story or if he quit on his own. DH won't contact him to verify. The next door neighbors send MIL an e-mail advising her that it was rude that she left her four dogs out in the yard for 5 hours where they barked incessently. She wrote back stating "I believe you mean inconsiderate".
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 9, 2021 13:30:32 GMT -5
Oh my.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jun 9, 2021 15:13:01 GMT -5
I don't know how you do it, Bonny. I just don't .
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 9, 2021 16:05:40 GMT -5
The next door neighbors send MIL an e-mail advising her that it was rude that she left her four dogs out in the yard for 5 hours where they barked incestively. She wrote back stating "I believe you mean inconsiderate".
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jun 9, 2021 16:12:55 GMT -5
I don't know how you do it, Bonny . I just don't . Lots of rose'
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 11, 2021 10:58:15 GMT -5
The nursing home called this morning. MIL is having behavior issues again. I didn't ask what, she said well at least no one got hurt. I think she is very mean, they are consulting the doc again. Man, I hope they don't make her leave there. From what I've heard there is only 1 place that takes the uncontrollable ones and its not so great, which is understandable. Poor woman.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 11, 2021 11:00:36 GMT -5
I don't know if I wrote it or not, turns out I didn't owe the $400 bill for MIL. It was for informational notice only.
We see her medicaid billings, over $9000 a month for her care.
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ajmom
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Post by ajmom on Jun 13, 2021 18:57:19 GMT -5
My mom is 95. This is the third assisted living place we have brought her to, and she finally has no complaints. It’s such a relief. We couldn’t do it if it were just a couple of us, but there are 5 of us subsidizing her after VA and social security benefits. It is not cheap, so far she is qualifying for the lowest level of care, so that helps us out. She suffers from OCD, has to have things “just so”, so I really think she had her eye on this place all along, lol. Thank God she seems to like it, and the nursing staff is wonderful. My heart goes out to people who can’t afford this level of care, and must take what they can get.
I hope to visit her soon. They just opened it up to visitors, but had to shut it down a few weeks ago (the visiting) due to covid.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 14, 2021 17:48:21 GMT -5
So my great uncle fell. He was gardening while wearing those square swim goggles, fell over a railroad spike and flew down the hill.
The goggles smashed into his face and darn near pushed his eyeballs out of the sockets ::gag::.
Laid there calling for help for who knows how long before my grandma heard him. Ambulance came but nobody knew where he went my dad had to track him down.
They saved his eye but not his sight as far as they currently know.
He can't take care of himself or grandma at this point.
So now my dad is stuck with that. Fun.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 14, 2021 18:01:58 GMT -5
Oh, drama. That sucks all around.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 14, 2021 18:25:39 GMT -5
Oh, drama. That sucks all around. Yeah. I suppose I'm tracking down the largest bottle of Schnapps I can find for father's day. He's gonna need it. And the kids are never allowed to wear those type of goggles. JFC that's a mental image.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 14, 2021 20:21:35 GMT -5
So my great uncle fell. He was gardening while wearing those square swim goggles, fell over a railroad spike and flew down the hill. The goggles smashed into his face and darn near pushed his eyeballs out of the sockets ::gag::. Laid there calling for help for who knows how long before my grandma heard him. Ambulance came but nobody knew where he went my dad had to track him down. They saved his eye but not his sight as far as they currently know. He can't take care of himself or grandma at this point. So now my dad is stuck with that. Fun. Maybe the hospital will get a social worker involved. You can hope. That's how my aunt finally went to the nursing home.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 14, 2021 20:40:42 GMT -5
So my great uncle fell. He was gardening while wearing those square swim goggles, fell over a railroad spike and flew down the hill. The goggles smashed into his face and darn near pushed his eyeballs out of the sockets ::gag::. Laid there calling for help for who knows how long before my grandma heard him. Ambulance came but nobody knew where he went my dad had to track him down. They saved his eye but not his sight as far as they currently know. He can't take care of himself or grandma at this point. So now my dad is stuck with that. Fun. Maybe the hospital will get a social worker involved. You can hope. That's how my aunt finally went to the nursing home. Possibly. My grandma is his POA and she's not competent. He is her POA. That's been a barrel of laughs too. According to her doctor given my GUs age,mental faculties and the fact my dad is her son they would not honor her POA. So we are fine there. My dad is my GUs nephew which as far as mom has been able to figure out is not a close enough relation to override my grandmother. GU has to give written permission for my father to be his POA. Since he has not that makes me wonder because he's not going to be able to live in that house with or without my grandma. This just reaffirms my wish to drop dead of a heart attack. Or maybe I'll accidentally on purpose fall off Pike's Peak while on vacation. Don't let me end up like them.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2021 4:31:36 GMT -5
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jun 15, 2021 6:15:39 GMT -5
Drama, that just sucks. My sympathy to your dad and you.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 15, 2021 7:43:42 GMT -5
Want to say early 80s? Late 70s? People in my dad's family have lived to 102 so we could be dealing with this for awhile. Both of them have played stupid games and won stupid prizes at this point. We always knew grandma would need help but they've both turned into the grandparents from Willy Wonka. Only grandma ain't getting up and dancing like Grandpa Joe, she's ending up like he would have in real life. There is zero reason for us to be in this situation. Especially my GU. My dad should be under no obligation to be providing the level of assistance he is. Same with grandma. If she is as financially savvy as she always bragged about where is the money for her care now? My in laws are the same age group and while they do have elderly related issues they still live in their house just fine, go to church and have great relationships with all their grandchildren and great grandchildren. A lot of this is their own doing which infuriates me. I.told DH we will not do this to our kids. I did not have them with the expectation they become my nurse maids once I decided I'm just done caring for myself. If they have to because I can't that's one thing. This situation IMO is emotional abuse.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 15, 2021 8:05:06 GMT -5
I'm sorry for what your family is going through, Drama. I agree, this situation is emotional abuse.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 15, 2021 8:20:21 GMT -5
Those buttons are a good idea. My mom is considering one as she gets older.
I've thought about fall sensors someday but I'm such a klutz my kids would be over here every two minutes only to find out I managed to knock it off and it fell down the stairs instead of me.
My plan when DH goes or sooner if he's willing is move into one of those rent controlled senior apartments. They have some nice ones around here. Several have tiers where if you live in the apartments you automatically get a spot in the care facility if the time comes.
You can be as independent as you want and they have people to do just about everything including change your lightbulbs. I've been wondering if they take 38 year olds.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 15, 2021 8:21:04 GMT -5
I'm sorry for what your family is going through, Drama. I agree, this situation is emotional abuse. Agreed. But, Drama's dad is not powerless in the situation.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 15, 2021 8:27:08 GMT -5
I'm sorry drama. The emotional abuse will become elder abuse if it isn't already.
My dad was in his own place until a month before he died. He should have been elsewhere the last two years of his life. My sister had the POA and would not put him in memory care, which is what he needed. She kept saying he doesn't want to go. He was not mentally capable of making the decision. When mom and dad moved to independent living in 2014, they were supposed to wear the emergency bracelets. Both refused.
At least he gave up the car on his own in 2014 so we didn't have to deal with taking the car away.
Good luck and no, your dad should not be dealing with the grand uncle unless he willingly signed a POA.
Since I have no children, my niece has agreed to be my medical POA, as she is a nurse, and DN2 has agreed to be the financial POA, since he has a degree in finance.
I had long talks with both of them before actually doing the document.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 15, 2021 8:30:26 GMT -5
The place my parents lived gave them a spot in assisted living and a nursing home. However, it's a 34 bed nursing home and all rooms are doubles. If dad hadn't been dying, he would never have agreed to a double and would have said put me in a different nursing home.
By then, my sister did have to sign the papers because the hospital would not release him to anywhere that didn't have 24 hour care for him.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 15, 2021 8:31:45 GMT -5
I'm sorry for what your family is going through, Drama. I agree, this situation is emotional abuse. Agreed. But, Drama's dad is not powerless in the situation. No he's not. Mom doesn't think he's even been talking to them since the row over moving my grandma in and their refusal to get the COVID vaccine He made it clear just because my great uncle played this game with my great grandmothers does not mean he's going to. He won't do that to his employees and he won't do it to his family. But we can't let GU languish in the hospital with half an eyeball either or leave grandma with him now. It's their behavior that's sick and infuriates me. I will fully admit I struggle with breaking the entire generational cycle but THIS is an easy one to break.
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