Battling Depression

[Jaguar]

buystoys, I'm so so sorry for your loss. <<< BIG HUGS >>>


I will never forget this day.

[finnime]

9/11 is a sad, hard day.

[busymom]

You can have a service for your Mom whenever you choose to, Opti.  One of the wonderful things the nursing home does where my Mom used to live (that I didn't find out about until after she had passed away) is, they have a memorial service every 3 months, which allows the families to come & give the clergy a page or two to read about the life of your loved one to all who are gathered there, AND they do another memorial service around the holidays (which was a tough time for me), where they remember ALL of the people who passed away that year.  Grieving is a process, and no one is done by any certain date.  


Does anyone here find extra comfort by having a fur baby around the house?  We lost our dear Bad Boy Puppy this Summer (he did live to be very old), and I'm not quite ready to find another dog yet, but I'm thinking that I generally seem to feel better with a dog around the house...

[empress of self-improvement]

I absolutely find comfort with a furbaby around the house busymom. When my mom died, I inherited her cat and had my 3. The male was the biggest cuddle whore ever and he and Chloe (the inheritance) would be all over me. They were my comfort then just as my Misha cat and my guinea pig Spelunkers were my comfort when my dad died. I really miss having a cat that will cuddle up with me. all I have now is one who hisses and hauls ass, YET!! she sleeps all over everything that is mine! The other just likes to look. Don't touch.

buystoys, - I'm sorry.

I'm feeling pretty good today. I got a lot of stuff done yesterday on my day off and I got some yardwork done today so I'm happy. I am also feeling that sense of impending doom because there is going to be a family meeting with DH and his 4 brothers over the care of their mother. The shit is going to hit the fan and then some. I would love to not be there but it looks like it is being moved to my house to make it easier on DH. OH I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!<<sarcasm>>

[finnime]

I've got Franklin the Dog for comfort, and he does provide that. Plus he is often the reason I get up and out of bed - he has to go out and needs his walks, too. Even at my worst I can do those things. 

[TheOtherMe]

I don't know what I would do without Lucy Cat.

[NastyWoman]

fur babies are the best since they love you without any expectations. Demands yes, especially if s/he is of the feline pursuasion, but no expectations. They just trust and love...

[TheOtherMe]

Unconditional love and it's just what the doctor ordered.  

Taking care of Lucy does make me get out of bed on the worst of days.  

[finnime]

And sometimes they help you find mental peace in bed.

[azucena]

Insomnia strikes again...need to just give in and take Dramamine to get to sleep.  I have sleeping pills but even a quarter of one knocks me out for about 10 hours.  Don't have trouble staying asleep.

[finnime]

Sept 13, 2018 8:49:50 GMT -5 azucena said:

Insomnia strikes again...need to just give in and take Dramamine to get to sleep.  I have sleeping pills but even a quarter of one knocks me out for about 10 hours.  Don't have trouble staying asleep.

Ouch. Insomnia can really wreck your day. If you don't have Dramamine, Benadryl is good. I had to force myself to write a procedure: if I'm not asleep after 30 minutes, I take a half of a sleeping pill. If I'm still awake 60 minutes later, I take the other half. It has saved me some of that awful should-I-or-shouldn't-I, what if, little mind gremlins.

Sorry you're burdened with this.

[empress of self-improvement]

Aaaaaaaagggghhh!!!!! That is all.

[finnime]

Did that help, empress of self-improvement? Hope so!

[empress of self-improvement]

Not really. Are we sure today isn't Friday the 13th instead of Thursday the 13th? I got home from grocery shopping to find DH on the kitchen floor where he had been for about half an hour because he fell when trying to transfer to his wheelchair. Of course, he didn't have his phone on him to call me. So we get to spend 20 minutes sniping at each other to get him off the floor which entailed dragging him into the living room and lifting him onto the couch.
Then we see on the news about a large number of homes blowing up and/or on fire in 3 towns and cities a little north of us. So the highway was a parking lot and I got to be 20 minutes late for work. I want a drink and nobody will give me one. I also want a nap! Is this day over yet?

[buystoys]

Sept 13, 2018 19:43:54 GMT -5 empress of self-improvement said:

Not really. Are we sure today isn't Friday the 13th instead of Thursday the 13th? I got home from grocery shopping to find DH on the kitchen floor where he had been for about half an hour because he fell when trying to transfer to his wheelchair. Of course, he didn't have his phone on him to call me. So we get to spend 20 minutes sniping at each other to get him off the floor which entailed dragging him into the living room and lifting him onto the couch.
Then we see on the news about a large number of homes blowing up and/or on fire in 3 towns and cities a little north of us. So the highway was a parking lot and I got to be 20 minutes late for work. I want a drink and nobody will give me one. I also want a nap! Is this day over yet?

I hope today is better for you.

[empress of self-improvement]

Not by much. It was shower day for DH. Unfortunately, he's feeling "off" lately and today was no better. Had to get in and finish shaving him and shampoo him. Not a good day for him.

[Opti]

Sorry Empress. Maybe I'll share Opti's very bad day with you and this thread. I don't know if it will cheer you up any, but it is a heck of a story. I'm out sick as a result of what happened that day coupled with a very bad work shift later that week. And it got more complicated when several incidents occurred after I tapped out to leave work on that shift.

I have worked in a skilled nursing and assisted living facility for too many years, so I understand a bit as to how you feel. Try to take things one day at a time, which I say, and am not very good at either.

[finnime]

That's sad, empress of self-improvement. You must be so tired.  

[empress of self-improvement]

Sept 15, 2018 6:54:34 GMT -5 finnime said:

That's sad, empress of self-improvement . You must be so tired.  

Oh God. I am exhausted today. Spent 2 mornings being woken up to help move/pick up DH. I have no idea how he fell in the bathroom today but there, he was, lying in the shower. He says his legs locked when he was trying to pull up his pants. As long as he didn't hit his head, I'm good but now I need a nap before I go to work tonight.

I start a month-long caregiver course at the Senior Center next week and it can't come soon enough.

THe other sad thing is there was a family meeting on Saturday about their mother. She has dementia and it's getting worse. She has been falling more frequently as well. Bad as it sounds, I am so glad I don't have to deal with this. I think they all know I will become homicidal if I did. Currently, the plan is to look into a home health aide or something. I'm just going to take notes so I'll know what to do for DH. Of course, I am not reassured at an article that was in the Sunday Globe about home health aides and abuses and thefts. Maybe I'll just smother him with a pillow

[TheOtherMe]

empress of self-improvement   The home health care aides that cared for my mother and later, the ones that cared for me, were not abusive and there was no theft.

I hope you can put your mind at ease about that.  

I am glad that you don't have to deal with DH's mother.  You have enough on your plate dealing with DH.

[finnime]

Doing better now. Still shaky, but out of the abyss. The seasonal changes September brings help, too. The shorter days are more peaceful, less chaotic than Summer's. Recovery is a slow process. My resilience is not as strong as it was earlier in my life. But I'm getting there, finding some light in this world.

[buystoys]

So, so happy to hear that, finnime!  It's always nice to feel like the darkness is retreating, even if it is slowly.

[buystoys]

Had to share this here.  This is SO much how my days have been lately.

[finnime]

That's a great meme, buystoys.

[empress of self-improvement]

I need to print that out when I get home and put it on my office wall. I am feeling a little less anxious today since I got my happy pills picked up. I was out and not sure if I'd be able to handle a day without them but now I don't have to find out.

I feel pretty good today. Finally got my crap-ass fence replaced and it looks fabulous! All blindingly white and shiny. I also walked to the drugstore for my pills so that spot of exercise was nice.

I signed up for a caregiver course that runs on Tuesdays for a month, starting next week. Spoke to one of the co-leaders and he was telling me what they plan to cover. When he asked if it sounded like something I'm interested in, I said if it keeps me from killing my husband, I'm all for it. I swear I will one of these days. He has woken me up before 2PM for the last 4 days now. I am not a happy camper!! I am a very tired one! He better let me sleep tomorrow!!

[finnime]

I'm glad for you, empress of self-improvement, about your fence and happy pills and the course - that sounds helpful. I know how incredibly, relentlessly draining caring for DH can be. Do you have any help with him?

[TheOtherMe]

For me, the onset of winter and the shorter days makes me know I will be fighting more depression.  I suffer from SAD.  I used my SAD lamp for the first time this morning.  It seems to help so I use it on these gray days.

[finnime]

I'm glad it helps, TheOtherMe. My SAD is inverted: I typically slide in late spring and summer.

I don't know why but I've been particularly antsy the past couple of days. It's a very uncomfortable feeling.

[TheOtherMe]

I think the lamp keeps me from spiraling.  It was well worth the cost.

[empress of self-improvement]

Sept 20, 2018 7:16:39 GMT -5 finnime said:

I'm glad for you, empress of self-improvement , about your fence and happy pills and the course - that sounds helpful. I know how incredibly, relentlessly draining caring for DH can be. Do you have any help with him?

No. I can call his brothers if need be but that's not really useful to me. I do have neighbors that will visit him if he'd allow it but he's such a friggin' grump he doesn't want to see anyone.