azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 5, 2022 15:37:12 GMT -5
My therapist just called to tell me she's retiring in August. She's maybe 55, but I know her husband is older since I see them at church. She's sending a letter with referrals listed, so I'm making the goal of setting up with someone new by the end of Jan. I'd been debating resuming sessions since I usually have SAD and work is a mess right now. Will be hard to restart with someone since I've seen her off and on for 12 yrs and she completely knows my history. Trying to look at the bright side of getting new input and also the kick in the pants to schedule so that I have a spot if things ever get bad again.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jan 6, 2022 5:00:41 GMT -5
I know what you mean, azucena. So far my PCP has been willing to prescribe the psychotropic meds I take, but I know I need to find another doctor. In combination with our plans to sell the house and move out of state, this has less of a priority than it needs. I expect to be in a state of flux for many months to come. I don't know how to find a decent doctor in the meantime.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 6, 2022 8:55:00 GMT -5
I am in to my winter doldrums. I always know it's coming, but it takes me by surprise every year.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 10, 2022 19:34:10 GMT -5
12 emails later and I've set up a late March appointment with a new therapist since mine is retiring. She's close by, has evening hours, takes my insurance, offers online appts, and is accepting new patients. Here's hoping we click as I don't have time to keep looking. Will see her in person in March and April and then decide if she's right for me. I really should just go once a month as a sanity check and self care bc I find it lowers my stress to have that sounding board. But it's one more thing to fit on my calendar.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 11, 2022 6:00:05 GMT -5
Good for you, finding someone, azucena. It's far from easy to find someone who can work with your schedule much less with your psyche.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 11, 2022 6:05:05 GMT -5
I don't know what to do in terms of finding professional help. I guess I need to find a psychiatrist first, but with the pending move, I'm unsure of what makes sense right now. I just ordered the final 3-month refills left by my old psychiatrist. Let's see, in 3 months I'll likely be in Massachusetts, but could be here, still, while we finish off some dental work (DH) and getting Franklin the Dog to the vet, and other doctors' appointments for both of us. I'd like to start in a new place fully stocked on meds needed, to lessen the urgency of finding help there. I guess I need to find someone interim here. Ugh. I miss Dr. S., too.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 11, 2022 6:05:10 GMT -5
Wishing you luck, azucena. I know it's difficult to find someone new.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 11, 2022 6:06:52 GMT -5
I don't know what to do in terms of finding professional help. I guess I need to find a psychiatrist first, but with the pending move, I'm unsure of what makes sense right now. I just ordered the final 3-month refills left by my old psychiatrist. Let's see, in 3 months I'll likely be in Massachusetts, but could be here, still, while we finish off some dental work (DH) and getting Franklin the Dog to the vet, and other doctors' appointments for both of us. I'd like to start in a new place fully stocked on meds needed, to lessen the urgency of finding help there. I guess I need to find someone interim here. Ugh. I miss Dr. S., too. Can your PCP fill your prescriptions for you if necessary? I have one that my pharmacology nurse has to refill, but my PCP could do all the others in a crunch. She could also do a one-half of my Duloxetine if absolutely needed.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 11, 2022 6:09:06 GMT -5
Yes, I've been using my PCP for a medication that can only be given in a one-month supply. The problem is that there are limits. She's uncomfortable going beyond so many months.
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ners
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Post by ners on Feb 11, 2022 7:30:26 GMT -5
finnime Do you know where in MA you will land? Could you do a tele health appointment with the new doctor or take a trip just to meet the new provider?
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 11, 2022 8:16:34 GMT -5
Good questions, ners. I don't know exactly where, but more importantly, I don't know when. It could be in a few months we wind up in a particular spot that really interests us, but it could take much longer, depending on when we find a home we like. We'll stay, once we're up there, with my DSis for a few weeks, and find a residential hotel for longer term as needed. Sort of up in the air. And we'll be here for 2+ months, as the house gets listed, sold, closes, and we finish up medical care needed by DH here. It's messy.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Feb 11, 2022 9:16:00 GMT -5
Can you make an appt with your PCP to discuss in person? Maybe if you outline all the moving pieces and unknowns and talk thru how you've been stable on the meds for X months/yrs and just need him/her to help you maintain and how that has to be much better than missing doses you will get some grace? I put in an email to my PCP/Gyn to have her switch me to lo birth control. Will take that in April and May as part of wean off process and then go off entirely in June. Hoping this gives me enough summer/fall months before SAD. I don't want to keep taking bc since DH's vasectomy a few years ago. Last time I stopped cold turkey in Oct a few yrs ago and spiraled by Jan. I have other meds and coping skills in place this time to try again. I don't want to keep taking on the potential side effects of bc if I don't have to. Plus, I'd like my body to be able to do its own timing for menopause. Happy to hear insights from the group. Theo - it's Feb now. How are you doing?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 11, 2022 9:30:06 GMT -5
The SAD is still ever present.
Getting Amelia and Maddow was a very wise decision. I am so happy to have those two snuggle bugs.
I haven't been letting the cleaning lady come and I have to let her come in March. Hopefully it will be nice enough to open windows.
Have an appointment next week about my tub to shower conversion. I'm nervous about being inside in a cubicle with someone because I haven't done anything like that for two years.
My therapist said this week, they have been told they can do telehealth until at least June. She did ask about what kind of insurance I have besides Medicare and wrote that down. She said some insurance companies have stopped paying for telehealth.
She says telehealth doesn't work well with people who use only a phone because she can't see them and that is part of being a therapist. She said it has worked very well with me. I hope I can use it longer than through June.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 11, 2022 10:08:49 GMT -5
Can you make an appt with your PCP to discuss in person? Maybe if you outline all the moving pieces and unknowns and talk thru how you've been stable on the meds for X months/yrs and just need him/her to help you maintain and how that has to be much better than missing doses you will get some grace? I put in an email to my PCP/Gyn to have her switch me to lo birth control. Will take that in April and May as part of wean off process and then go off entirely in June. Hoping this gives me enough summer/fall months before SAD. I don't want to keep taking bc since DH's vasectomy a few years ago. Last time I stopped cold turkey in Oct a few yrs ago and spiraled by Jan. I have other meds and coping skills in place this time to try again. I don't want to keep taking on the potential side effects of bc if I don't have to. Plus, I'd like my body to be able to do its own timing for menopause. Happy to hear insights from the group. Theo - it's Feb now. How are you doing?
Menopause filled me with wild energy, furious anger, some shakiness, insomnia and overwhelming sweats, with occasional bursts of heavy bleeding. The worst was over in about a year, but the mood swings went on for another couple of years. Or maybe that was something I'd have gone through anyway, but I think it was menopause. It's good to go on the low estrogen to go slowly. Beware the unstable moods.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 11, 2022 11:47:24 GMT -5
I really struggled with the mood swings with menopause. That could have been due to my untreated depression and PTSD though. The heavy periods weren't fun. I felt like I flowed through pads and tampons no matter how often I changed them.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Feb 16, 2022 21:44:23 GMT -5
I have been seeing a therapist since October 2020. No noticeable changes since I started. I feel like I'm in the same spot mentally and emotionally as I was in October 2020. No real problems solved, they are all still with me.
Yesterday I realized that therapy is not only NOT helping me, and sometimes it does more harm than good.
We had an appointment yesterday. I was full of anxiety before the appointment, because there are several issues going on in my life. I talked about those issues in therapy. He didn't help at all. He tried, but it didn't work. Actually, when we finished I was more anxious than before we started.
I rarely cry, but I cried last night thinking about the problems I have, how I'm unable to solve them, and how much worse I felt after therapy. Angry, anxious, sad. To me, these are all signs this is not the right thing for me.
Another problem I have is with the set up itself. Mentally I understand he's not a friend or a family member. But he acts like a friend during sessions. I understand why he does it, and he's doing professionally. But emotionally I feel close to him, to the point that I missed him so much when he went on vacation. At the same time I'm just another case to him and I know it. I rather talk to friends, honestly. I don't like the set up. Again, I mentally understand it and it's not his fault. He's doing what he's supposed to do. But it's not helping me.
I woke up this morning thinking I want to finish therapy. It was never my intention to do it for life, but I wanted to do it for a relatively long period of time if necessary. But if after almost 1 1/2 years nothing changes, I would say it's not working. As I started therapy during pandemic, part of the attraction was having someone to talk to, because I am very lonely working from home and living alone. So that was the main attraction I would say, plus solving the problems I had. And having someone to talk to for 45 minutes once a week made me happy and kept things going.. until now.
I dont want to sabotage myself and I wonder, maybe that's what I do if I finish this. What makes me think it would be right to stop is, like I said, it's making me feel worse instead of better.
I'm going to take a couple of days to think it over before making a final decision. I don't want to do anything rushed.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 17, 2022 4:52:49 GMT -5
There's no issue in having taken a form of therapy or a therapist as far as you can go, Ava, and need to make a change. It could be now that the pandemic is less of a crisis your other needs are greater priorities. It could be you now need someone more focused on cognition, or on behavior, than your current therapist. Take your time and evaluate what approaches work best for you, then interview therapists to find someone who does that. BTW, a LCSW can often provide a more pragmatic solutions-oriented form of therapy. At least, that's been my experience. Making changes to support your best self is hard work.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Feb 17, 2022 5:47:04 GMT -5
Ava, are you on any meds for depression and anxiety? You may need some chemical assistance to start seeing some benefit from therapy.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 17, 2022 7:56:38 GMT -5
I really struggled with the mood swings with menopause. That could have been due to my untreated depression and PTSD though. The heavy periods weren't fun. I felt like I flowed through pads and tampons no matter how often I changed them. That sounds tough! I was able to lessen mood issues and night sweats by really dropping down the amount of sugar I took in. Like half or less of what I tolerated before. Once I was fully through, letting my sugar intake go higher, seems to be OK. Lower sugar would be better but its surprisingly hard to avoid.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 17, 2022 7:58:30 GMT -5
Ava sounds like you need a therapist that's a better match for you. I hope you find what you are looking for. If you like chocolate, I sometimes use a square or two for a slight mood lift.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Feb 17, 2022 8:51:57 GMT -5
Ava sounds like you need a therapist that's a better match for you. I hope you find what you are looking for. If you like chocolate, I sometimes use a square or two for a slight mood lift. Really? She's already got an eating disorder.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 17, 2022 9:45:14 GMT -5
No therapist has all of the answers. No therapist can fix your issues. They can help you with your issues. You have to do the work and it is work.
Have you talked to your therapist about your problem with boundaries between you and him? He knows he is not your friend nor is he supposed to be. Your feelings about him are not healthy for you. I remember when he increased his prices and you felt like he slighted you by sending out a general letter when all he was doing was conducting his business.
He probably isn't licensed in the US so he couldn't prescribe any anti-depressants for you.
You might find it helpful to find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders who is in the US and can prescribe anti-depressants, etc. Yes, it will cost more.
In the scheme of things a year and a half of therapy is a very short time.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 17, 2022 9:48:13 GMT -5
Ava sounds like you need a therapist that's a better match for you. I hope you find what you are looking for. If you like chocolate, I sometimes use a square or two for a slight mood lift. Really? She's already got an eating disorder. I thought she was just struggling with her weight. I do too. Yet, I am now able to eat just a square or two of chocolate at a time. We all have to eat. What we eat, and what works for us personally, is different. Calories, etc. are just something we budget like money. It's weird you are taking offense at a square or two of chocolate. It easily fits in my 1500 calorie a day intake. One of the chocolate bars I buy frequently is the Dark Chocolate Lover's Chocolate Bar by Trader Joe's. Its 85% Cacao, 5 gms of sugar in 10 pieces and 190 calories. If eat my two remaining pieces, it is 40 calories and 1gm sugar. And it's under $2. I like that its two packaged bars so I can eat less. YMMV.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Feb 17, 2022 10:15:06 GMT -5
Really? She's already got an eating disorder. I thought she was just struggling with her weight. I do too. Yet, I am now able to eat just a square or two of chocolate at a time. We all have to eat. What we eat, and what works for us personally, is different. Calories, etc. are just something we budget like money. It's weird you are taking offense at a square or two of chocolate. It easily fits in my 1500 calorie a day intake. One of the chocolate bars I buy frequently is the Dark Chocolate Lover's Chocolate Bar by Trader Joe's. Its 85% Cacao, 5 gms of sugar in 10 pieces and 190 calories. If eat my two remaining pieces, it is 40 calories and 1gm sugar. And it's under $2. I like that its two packaged bars so I can eat less. YMMV. Turning to food to get a boost is about the worst thing you can do if you have an eating disorder. It's like telling a smoker, just take one drag for a boost. Obviously, you can't quit food completely, but don't create a stimulus-->getting a boost out of candy if you already have issues with it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 17, 2022 14:36:11 GMT -5
Ava the therapy he provides and you've been seeking may not be right for you especially if it makes you feel worse.
There are many types of therapy and therapists. Unfortunately it relies on you being aware enough to figure out what you need and find the right person.
Which if I was that self aware I probably wouldn't need therapy.
Try looking into something called congruent therapy. I stumbled across it when researching DHs issues.
Talk therapy won't work. Therapy for just his addiction or depression won't work. It has to be someone who can address all of it together.
You may need someone who can address the eating disorder and can address all the underlying issues that drive it.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Feb 18, 2022 9:26:39 GMT -5
Thanks for all the support and all the comments.
To clarify, I actually don't have depression.
I always thought I had mild depression, but my therapist told me a while back I don't. He said I don't even know what depression looks like. I may feel sad or anguished sometimes, but he said depression is paralyzing and makes you not want to live. He said I always look clean, with clean clothes, I have interests, desires, projects, zero suicidal thoughts, etc.and I don't fit the profile of depression.
Maybe I shouldn't have posted in this thread but it looked like the right place for the issue I had with the therapist.
As you know, I felt so bad after our last session, that I thought about ending the therapy. But as I've been mulling things over in the last few days, I've come to realize therapy has helped in certain aspects of my life.
For instance, I'm handling my difficult relationship with my mother better since I started therapy. As for the eating disorder, I can see I now have zero issues with the healthy breakfast, and I'm getting used to the healthy lunch. He's very supportive and I think his work in this area is slowly making a difference. Another thing is I love having someone I can talk to about ANYTHING, and it's confidential. Yes, I could tell a friend or family member, but sometimes depending on what you say, it can have consequences, or I have regrets about oversharing, etc. Now I'm more relaxed because no matter what happens, I can talk about it in therapy.
So, in the end, I decided to stay with the therapy but space it out more. I texted him this morning that I'm cancelling for next Tuesday and that I want to do every other week instead of every week. He answered right away that he thought it was a great idea.
I also told him there are things we need to discuss next time. I'm going to talk to him about the things that are not working for me, to give him a chance to change them. Also, I'm going to come clean about how I feel close to him emotionally even though mentally I realize we're not close and we are not friends. I'm pretty sure he can help me deal with those feelings once he's aware of them.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 18, 2022 12:49:48 GMT -5
I must speak up as someone with chronic depression. I am clean and wear clean clothes. I have interests in my life that keep me busy. I don't want to kill myself on a daily basis. Without my medication, I do want to kill myself.
Only in the depths of a bad spiral, which is not my every day life, do I just stay in bed and not do anything at all and want to kill myself. With the medications I now take, that only happens when I stupidly stop taking my meds.
I don't know if it is your interpretation of what your therapist said or if he doesn't understand depression. When I used to go to the office, I didn't see people in the waiting room who looked like people who never bathe or wear clean clothes.
Controlling an eating disorder is also not the same as eating a healthy breakfast. Eating disorders are similar to addictions with their hold on people. I don't know if you have decided you have an eating disorder or if you have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. The triggers that set off food issues have to be dealt with before an eating disordered is controlled.
Like my depression, my eating disorder will be with me for the rest of my life.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Feb 18, 2022 18:35:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry if I offended anyone with the comment about people suffering from depression not taking a bath or wearing clean clothes. I didn't realize it may come across as offensive and it wasn't my intention at all. My therapist mentioned it as one of the many characteristics of untreated depression, among others.
He knows what depression is, as he's been treating patients for years. He's a reputed psychologist in Argentina. Just because he's not American doesn't mean he's a bad therapist or doesn't know what he's doing. And one of the reasons why I feel more comfortable with him than with therapists I tried here is exactly that, that he speaks my language, my dialect, and we come from roughly the same geographic area.
As for my eating disorder, I'm working on resolving the issues behind it. I'm aware there's no cure, but that doesn't mean I will let it run rampant in my life. I'm making small, progressive changes to my diet, and I'm seeing a therapist and a nutritionist. What else I'm supposed to do?
At least I'm facing the problem, putting the effort and trying to make the necessary changes. It would be so much easier (and cheaper) to bury my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 20, 2022 12:48:51 GMT -5
To clarify, I actually don't have depression. I always thought I had mild depression, but my therapist told me a while back I don't. He said I don't even know what depression looks like. I may feel sad or anguished sometimes, but he said depression is paralyzing and makes you not want to live. He said I always look clean, with clean clothes, I have interests, desires, projects, zero suicidal thoughts, etc.and I don't fit the profile of depression. Maybe I shouldn't have posted in this thread but it looked like the right place for the issue I had with the therapist.
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Feb 20, 2022 13:18:37 GMT -5
He said I don't even know what depression looks like. I may feel sad or anguished sometimes, but he said depression is paralyzing and makes you not want to live. He said I always look clean, with clean clothes, I have interests, desires, projects, zero suicidal thoughts, etc.and I don't fit the profile of depression. Pretty sure this woman always looked good and had tons of interests, desires and projects. More than most people will ever do.
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