TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 14, 2020 8:15:42 GMT -5
I am an introvert but this is way too much of being alone. The only time anyone has touched me since March was when I had my colonoscopy. That isn't enough human contact. When I live in a bubble of one, it's not safe to touch any one. I forgot. I did hold baby in July--after a negative covid test. Just a guess... Colonoscopy probably wasn't the kind of human contact you'd prefer, especially on a regular basis. 😕🤔😏 No, it was not Lucy Cat being a lap cat was a good substitute, but I lost her.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Nov 14, 2020 8:50:49 GMT -5
Just sending out hugs to all who need them. It's such a difficult time for everyone right now. I just keep reminding myself that it will get better.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Nov 14, 2020 17:49:05 GMT -5
Group hug ♡
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Nov 15, 2020 10:16:55 GMT -5
Sending out tons of hugs again today. The weather has been changing back and forth here and my fibro doesn't like that at all. I'm stiff and achy. It's hard to be motivated to do things when I feel like this. Today I have to fold that laundry that's been sitting in the basket for two days now. I've got it out of the dryer which is the hard part. (Bending to grab things just kills my SI Joints.) Hoping that today is good for everyone!
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Nov 15, 2020 10:58:40 GMT -5
Sorry you're in pain, buystoys. Hugs back to you. Have you been able to reschedule all you needed to after your last +? And are you healing? Everything takes time. Maybe bending to take out laundry is something you could outsource to your DH.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Nov 15, 2020 11:59:25 GMT -5
Just a guess... Colonoscopy probably wasn't the kind of human contact you'd prefer, especially on a regular basis. 😕🤔😏 No, it was not Lucy Cat being a lap cat was a good substitute, but I lost her. Do you have any animals now? Have you considered rescuing a pet?
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Nov 15, 2020 15:17:22 GMT -5
Sorry you're in pain, buystoys . Hugs back to you. Have you been able to reschedule all you needed to after your last +? And are you healing? Everything takes time. Maybe bending to take out laundry is something you could outsource to your DH. I do finally have everything except the endodontist rescheduled. He's not back yet from his heart attack. He should be back in a couple more weeks. DH would willingly take the laundry out of the dryer. I just hate to ask him to because he's already taken over loading and unloading the dishwasher, carrying all the groceries into the house, and just about everything else that requires bending or lifting. He did the laundry for me. I know I should ask more often, I just feel guilty doing so.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 15, 2020 16:46:58 GMT -5
No pets and I am not yet at a place where I will even consider it. Lucy is irreplaceable.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 17, 2020 7:55:57 GMT -5
DD12's classmate S has had panic attacks in the classroom and is only able to make herself attend some days. This is a girl that I'm quite fond of from coaching her in bball for several seasons and this is totally out of the blue for her as she is generally an easy-going kid. I always wish she and DD would hang out more bc she's a good kid with a great family. S gets along with everyone and has been in the more popular crowd whereas DD has a tighter group of friends on the outside. Her mom is the most outgoing person I know so has never dealt with anxiety personally. DD12 stepped up at school last week and helped S calm down and sat with her until mom picked her up. It seems the covid worrying is really getting to her along with some of the girl drama being exchanged over texts. The mom reached out to me to ask if we're still using the school therapist and how to set all that up. I was pretty open with her about my own struggles and said I'm willing to listen if S wants another person to talk to since I hope I've already been a mentor for her thru bball. She is also getting ped involved. I have a boring 2 hour conf call today and will jot down some more of my thoughts for mom. I haven't brought up to watch for depression yet, but need to.
My heart aches for her and the toll that this is taking on all of our children.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 17, 2020 8:33:34 GMT -5
I feel for that child. I had issues by 5th grade but panic attacks didn't start until my mid 20's. Got them under control until 3 weeks ago when I spent more than 15 minutes in a drug store. At least I knew what it was.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Nov 17, 2020 10:50:11 GMT -5
You're doing a great service to your DD's friend and her mother, azucena. It can be very isolating to have a child with issues, and of course the child feels isolated, too.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Dec 4, 2020 16:55:03 GMT -5
How is everyone doing now that Thanksgiving is over? Anyone freaking out over Christmas yet?
I've been OK other than in pain the last couple of weeks. It's been cold and dreary here and that's been doing a number on my fibro and my back. Even though I haven't found a new therapist, I've been emotionally OK most of the time. I have my little break downs, but they're moments, not hours or days long. I haven't really thought about Christmas yet. We don't do a family thing for the holiday, but I do like out routine and need to start building my grocery list for it. DH isn't certain he wants to go into Dallas this year for Italian goodies. We've got so many doctor appointments in the next couple of weeks that he isn't interested in driving there. I may drive if that's all that's holding him back. Hugs to all who need them!
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Dec 4, 2020 17:28:17 GMT -5
buys - make sure you keep working to find a therapist even though you're doing okay. nothing worse than having to find one when you're already down. can you combine a dr appt and a goody run?
thanksgiving was quiet, we ordered cracker barrel and reveled in the simplicity. we also put up family photos on our entryway wall. that along with a bright coraly orange curtain in the kitchen are making me smile every time I see them.
I'll admit to using christmas as an excuse to practice some retail therapy. the credit card bills the last month haven't been pretty. but we can afford it and I don't regret it.
how is everyone else?
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Dec 4, 2020 17:32:47 GMT -5
I'm sorry your pain has not abated, buystoys. I'm steeling myself for not going to Massachusetts for Christmas. I really, REALLY want to, as we have for years, to celebrate with my family up there (3 brothers and 1 sister) and see DS on the way in Manhattan. But it is not looking good, with Covid running amok. My DH is willing to go if I decide to do so, but he's in a high/high risk group: he's 71, diabetic and has chronic kidney disease. If he were to get it now would be so awful. I am lonely for my family. Thanksgiving was fine, in the end; we enjoyed a meal with DD (I had an ugly migraine), but I really missed seeing my siblings. I've been buying gifts and will send them up to my DSis's. If in the end I break down and we do go, we'll be all set. The heart wants what it wants.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Dec 4, 2020 17:47:18 GMT -5
I have an appointment with my GP in a week and 1/2. I'll ask her to give me a couple of referrals for mental health and then try to make appointments. I don't know if I want to try to start this before Christmas or not. I'm already feeling a little pushed with all the appointments we have on the calendar already. These would all have been done before the holidays if I hadn't had the positive covid tests. Either way, I will continue to work on getting a new therapist.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 4, 2020 19:36:08 GMT -5
It's going to be a long, dark winter. Positivity rates here are over 35% on a consistent basis. That means I stay home.
My therapist informed me this week that insurance coverage for telehealth runs out on January 31, 2021. I'm going to call Medicare as researching shows they were trying to extend it as seniors find it to help.
I can handle that part that Medicare doesn't cover if it comes to that.
It's like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I have to get the therapy but I'm not sure I'm willing to go to a doctor's office to get it.
I will not be seeing my family for Christmas. I know they are not doing the right thing.
I had thought about going to a hotel for Christmas but that doesn't seem safe either.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 7, 2020 11:37:38 GMT -5
My therapist informed me this week that insurance coverage for telehealth runs out on January 31, 2021. I'm going to call Medicare as researching shows they were trying to extend it as seniors find it to help. I can handle that part that Medicare doesn't cover if it comes to that. I called federal employee BCBS and a new benefit for 2021 is telehealth with either your provider or TeleDoc, which is their service. On hold with Medicare to see what their deal is. ETA: Medicare rep said telehealth is covered for 2021. I hope I'm good.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Dec 7, 2020 20:24:31 GMT -5
Good news!
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Dec 12, 2020 9:01:49 GMT -5
That's very good news, TheOtherMe. I'm relieved to hear it, too.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Dec 26, 2020 14:42:18 GMT -5
Well, I'm exhausted and headachy but over all it was a good Christmas with DD and DH. I overdid it on baking orders. The 24th was especially crazy. Everything went wrong, including a buche de noel that stuck to the dishtowel after I rolled it -- forgot to sprinkle cocoa powder on -- and a glass mixing bowl that broke, and a cookie scooper that also broke -- and I ran out of time to finish all the orders as per schedule. Just finished a final cookie order that the customer graciously offered to pick up today. She did get her pie, scones and other cookies on Christmas Eve. The tough thing about baking is generally it must be done the day of receipt to be best. And there's only me in my small kitchen.
And I'm sad at not seeing family, DS, DBs, DSis, nephews and nieces. I really miss them. Strange and hard year, 2020. I'll be glad to see the new year come in.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Dec 27, 2020 7:23:35 GMT -5
So glad your baking went fairly well for you finnime. I know it can be stressful when things start to take a wrong turn. Hopefully we'll see a much better 2021.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 13, 2021 20:59:49 GMT -5
How is everyone doing? January is always the longest month for me. I'm bored with everything, binge watching too much tv.
DH is in a funk about not working. He's sleeping too much and gaming online every night. He's getting on my nerves.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jan 14, 2021 7:14:37 GMT -5
I see a new therapist on Monday. It's taken a while to find someone, so I hope we click.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jan 14, 2021 9:18:52 GMT -5
Hope it works for you, buystoys. I'm usually sanguine this time of year, but now I'm anxious and stressed with the state of the country and Covid. I'm exhausted. By the time of day I accrue energy it's the point to wind down. Small things loom large. And I'm tired of myself.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jan 14, 2021 9:21:20 GMT -5
Hope it works for you, buystoys . I'm usually sanguine this time of year, but now I'm anxious and stressed with the state of the country and Covid. I'm exhausted. By the time of day I accrue energy it's the point to wind down. Small things loom large. And I'm tired of myself.Unfortunately, I totally relate to this statement, and I don't know what to do about it.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 14, 2021 10:04:02 GMT -5
I'm usually sanguine this time of year, but now I'm anxious and stressed with the state of the country and Covid. I'm exhausted. By the time of day I accrue energy it's the point to wind down. Small things loom large. And I'm tired of myself. Same for me. I am not getting anything accomplished and I am so tired of myself, my country, my state and covid. I hope you and the new therapist click buystoys I do know how important that is.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jan 16, 2021 5:56:59 GMT -5
When I saw my doctor in December, she gave me a list of drs/therapists to contact, to see if one would work for me. I picked up the list once, but didn't try to contact anyone. I think there's a part of me that doesn't want to admit I'm seriously depressed and need help again. Another part of me is overwhelmed and scared by the thought of finding someone I find helpful.
I really was hoping January was going to be magical somehow. Everything would instantly be okay.
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Jan 16, 2021 8:36:07 GMT -5
I feel you, toomuchreality. It seems like an overwhelming task. At least, that's how I felt. Try to call just one name on the list today. And give yourself credit for doing so. There's no reason to feel embarrassed to need help again. These have been unusual times and it's not normal life. Don't beat yourself up for needing some help getting back on track.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 16, 2021 9:15:48 GMT -5
There is nothing wrong with getting help toomuchreality I think calling one name a day is a good idea. I am so overwhelmed by life at the moment, but accomplishing nothing. I could not do this without my therapist. I do know I would be in much worse shape without her.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jan 16, 2021 11:18:10 GMT -5
When I saw my doctor in December, she gave me a list of drs/therapists to contact, to see if one would work for me. I picked up the list once, but didn't try to contact anyone. I think there's a part of me that doesn't want to admit I'm seriously depressed and need help again. Another part of me is overwhelmed and scared by the thought of finding someone I find helpful. I really was hoping January was going to be magical somehow. Everything would instantly be okay. I understand so well. Part of the damnation that is depression is the inability to do--anything. It's okay. It's okay to need help. It's okay to be overwhelmed at the task of finding help. Like the others said, call one person on the list, on Monday. Then someone else on Tuesday. Then someone else on Wednesday. That's all. Don't do more than that. It's okay. You are okay.
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