Battling Depression

[TheOtherMe]

I'm going to town shortly and will see what I find.  

[finnime]

Feb 26, 2019 22:08:35 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

Feb 26, 2019 8:30:08 GMT -5 azucena said:

I haven't been sleeping well the past few weeks - seems my deepest sleep starts around 4 am when I'm supposed to get up for work at 5, so I've been late a lot of mornings which is okay for a while but definitely not long term.  I can see how much sleep plays into my depression as I feel myself slipping a bit.  I need to make sure I'm turning out the lights consistently at 930 because that's the only part I can control.  Any time the weather is warm enough, I need to get outside.  Going to Destin in 3 weeks so I'm focusing on that too.

I'm about an hour from Destin.  The evening and night temps are still cool.  Afternoons are high 60's and low 70's

For so much of the country with highs in the 20's, that sounds balmy.

[finnime]

Feb 27, 2019 8:54:14 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I'm going to town shortly and will see what I find.  

I cut some forsythia last week and forced it. It's blossoming now, a yellow explosion. I hope you find something bright and aromatic.

[TheOtherMe]

I brought home a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers.  

I put them in a vase and in the living room.  Lucy took too much interest in them, so I had to move them higher.  That wasn't high enough so I moved them higher.  Lucy is now trying to figure out how to jump higher than I think she can jump.

[finnime]

For everyone suffering from winter,

[azucena]

We went to Destin around the same time last year and yes it was chilly but the sun was divine and the waves and breeze filled my soul.  Plus, the water was cold so my girls only went in ankle deep which was relaxing for me because I didn't have to worry about my then 5 yo LOL.

I got one of those aldi hyacinths for my office and it was so lovely that my co-workers made a lunch trip to pick up a few more.  Last week, they had potted kalanchoes so I bought one for myself and 4 female co-workers and that brightened my day even more as giving always does. 

[buystoys]

finnime, those are beautiful!

TheOtherMe, hopefully Lucy's scheming is putting a smile on your face.

azucena DH missed the potted kalanchoes last week.  But that's OK.  I don't have a whole lot of spare room on my windowsill.

[azucena]

I have the same cat problem at home (plus my 2 are only a yr old so still super active and dumb) so plants are only safe in the office.

Fresh and potted flowers are becoming a regular self care splurge.

Realizing just how close we are to end of Feb helped lift my mood a ton (just dawned on me that Feb is almost over).  I also had a rave review and big (unexpected) raise at work so that's given me something else to think about.

[TheOtherMe]

Lucy is 7 1/2 and displays her kitten ways several times during the day and at least once in the middle of the night.  

At some point during the night, she either lays on top of me and starts purring (which wakes me up) or starts playing madly with her toys in the bedroom (I sort of hear that and go back to sleep). 

I'm thinking a bulb might do better so I'm probably going to give that a try.

[finnime]

Peaking out from behind the curtain now. I just realized that it's been a few weeks since some of my worst symptoms have subsided: the suicidality and the momentary delusions of seeing animal body parts while walking.

I had been repeating to myself something that worked better for me than the "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." It seemed when I was at my worst that the problem was not temporary. So I came up with "I can always decide tomorrow to end things, no need to do it today." That helped. And it helped the next day, too. The reasons for not harming myself that day ended with tomorrow would be soon enough, if needed.

I heard on the radio that the FDA has approved a nasal spray version of ketamine for treatment-resistant depression. Amazing that it works immediately. Of course it will be ridiculously expensive but I'm glad for those of us who can find no other relief.

[TheOtherMe]

I'm pleased to hear you are feeling better.

[finnime]

Thank you. Not good, but definitely better. I'll take it.

[buystoys]

Dec 15, 2018 10:27:39 GMT -5 busymom said:

I am so sorry for the diagnosis, buystoys .  I do know of a good book on the topic, "FibroWHYalgia".  Hoping once you have the proper information on fighting the condition, you'll be feeling better.  

I neglected to thank you for this recommendation.  The book is extremely helpful in all the assistance it offers, from web sites to cookbooks.

I'm now reading "Fibromyalgia for Dummies."

[finnime]

Trying to bolster a very dear friend who is struggling. He got pneumonia and was sick for weeks in December, then in January found his back to be increasingly painful to the point where he struggled to walk at all. He went to the ER which gave him at CT scan and found stenosis, then a useless to him steroid patch. He was finally able to get his primary care doctor to prescribe some pain killers so that he could go to an appointment to see the doctor. The pain killers have helped him make it through the past weeks. He was referred to a spine center, which did an MRI and found disk deterioration and compression. He isn't a candidate for surgery because he is on Warfarin plus is diabetic. They can do steroid injections up to 3 times per year and he can get PT.

In the past several weeks he has become depressed and anxious. His doctor has prescribed meds to help with this, too, but they take a while to kick in. He's trying to come to terms with his very limited mobility and struggles with pain.

He lives with his younger, 27 yo son, so can get help with some things. His bedroom is on the second floor of his home. He's taken to delaying as long as possible in the day going down stairs.

I've suggested to him getting a lift-assist chair, for starters, plus will help him place items in easy reach for him to grab for food, books to read, etc. Also for him to get a small refrigerator for his bedroom. I think low blood sugar and dehydration also may contribute to his low spirits. And to get housekeeping help weekly, for general cleaning and also dishes and laundry. Plus home PT and OT.

Other than that, I'll just plan on visiting a couple of times per week. Any ideas you have that might help B.? 

[buystoys]

Agree with all your suggestions finnime.  He also may want to get a handicapped toilet and put grab bars in the bathroom to help him.  Even though my mobility has improved, it's not completely back and I use those grab bars almost every time I shower.

He might be a candidate for group therapy.  Maybe he should see someone who specializes in psychiatric care rather than just his GP for the depression and anxiety?

[finnime]

Thanks, buystoys. Good idea about the grab bars and toilet. I think I can convince him to see a proper psychiatrist in a month or so. RIght now he's doctored out. Plus going anywhere is a huge effort and very painful.

[saveinla]

The reacher grabber is a very good tool for people with mobility issues - www.allegromedical.com/daily-living-aids-c519/aluminum-reacher-with-magnetic-tip-p191918.html?CS_003=9164468&CS_010=8ab281020bb66dff010bb67e52885804&gclid=EAIaIQobChMItMWJ4pjz4AIVSx-tBh2xGARxEAQYASABEgL2GPD_BwE#DMI-1764

[TheOtherMe]

Mar 8, 2019 13:35:30 GMT -5 finnime said:

Thanks, buystoys . Good idea about the grab bars and toilet. I think I can convince him to see a proper psychiatrist in a month or so. RIght now he's doctored out. Plus going anywhere is a huge effort and very painful.

I had an handicapped toilet installed because my toilet kept backing up.  The plumber said I'd save money by having a handicapped toilet installed because it changes something with the pipes and the pipes were the biggest reason for the toilet backing up.  

I haven't had a back up since the handicapped toilet went in, so it's been well worth the money.

Now, I'm spoiled and expect all toilets will be the higher toilet.

[buystoys]

Yeah, we originally put them in both bathrooms as pre-planning for getting older in this home.  Plus, my dad is almost blind, uses the handicapped toilet at home, and we wanted it to be safe for him when they visit.

[finnime]

It will be a day or two or three before I get details, but my online record shows my request for reconsideration of SSDI has been approved. You all were right!

I applied a bit more than a year ago, after first becoming disabled officially in 2015, when I lost my job due to symptoms. Reconsideration request was filed last August. Then came my record being pulled for random audit, and the government shutdown, but it's over now. Whew.

[saveinla]

Mar 13, 2019 21:23:33 GMT -5 finnime said:

It will be a day or two or three before I get details, but my online record shows my request for reconsideration of SSDI has been approved. You all were right!

I applied a bit more than a year ago, after first becoming disabled officially in 2015, when I lost my job due to symptoms. Reconsideration request was filed last August. Then came my record being pulled for random audit, and the government shutdown, but it's over now. Whew.

Great news - finnime.

[buystoys]

Mar 13, 2019 21:23:33 GMT -5 finnime said:

It will be a day or two or three before I get details, but my online record shows my request for reconsideration of SSDI has been approved. You all were right!

I applied a bit more than a year ago, after first becoming disabled officially in 2015, when I lost my job due to symptoms. Reconsideration request was filed last August. Then came my record being pulled for random audit, and the government shutdown, but it's over now. Whew.

Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay!!!!!

[TheOtherMe]

Wonderful news finnime 

Not only was the government shutdown harmful to you, it was harmful to many others besides federal employees/contractors.  It was harmful to the end user, like you.

[azucena]

Fin - that's great news.  Will it be back-dated?

[finnime]

Yes, I'll get back payout, too. Unsure what they will decide is my date of disability, but back pay could go back as far as two years plus one month. They can't pay further back than one year before date of application, but count the first six months after disability begins as a waiting period before paying. That puts me into 2016, which should work out fine. It's the one final unknown: the date they determine this all commenced. They should use March 2015 based on evidence. We'll see.

It's crazy I know but hard to believe this is over. I've been slowly absorbing the idea that I'd need to appeal again. But I've checked several times online and it still says "approved" and benefits are payable.

I do hope that in future years I'll be able to work again, maybe in a different capacity. Freelancing or contract-type work would be fine if I can avoid recurrence of really deep depression for long enough. Even a few months here and there would be good. I know I'll always be fighting this, but if I can find a path that allows for not working at intervals when I just cannot, that would be awesome.

[TheOtherMe]

I could have been asked to re-certify my disability for depression after I retired.  I was never asked to do so.  There was an income limitation that I had to report on until age 60.  Since then I have not had to report anything to OPM.

[debthaven]

Finnime that's fantastic news! I'm very glad that you got it, and that the wait is over.

[Peace77]

Mar 14, 2019 9:00:50 GMT -5 finnime said:

Yes, I'll get back payout, too. Unsure what they will decide is my date of disability, but back pay could go back as far as two years plus one month. They can't pay further back than one year before date of application, but count the first six months after disability begins as a waiting period before paying. That puts me into 2016, which should work out fine. It's the one final unknown: the date they determine this all commenced. They should use March 2015 based on evidence. We'll see.

It's crazy I know but hard to believe this is over. I've been slowly absorbing the idea that I'd need to appeal again. But I've checked several times online and it still says "approved" and benefits are payable.

I do hope that in future years I'll be able to work again, maybe in a different capacity. Freelancing or contract-type work would be fine if I can avoid recurrence of really deep depression for long enough. Even a few months here and there would be good. I know I'll always be fighting this, but if I can find a path that allows for not working at intervals when I just cannot, that would be awesome.

They go by the date of your application, not the date of disability.  No benefits are paid for the waiting period.


After your benefits begin, you are allowed to earn up to the SGA amount which is  Currently $1220 / month.  

[buystoys]

If you feel there is enough evidence to back date your disability further than SSDI does for your payments, you can always appeal again.  That's where I am right now.  I get my check while I'm appealing.  They dated my disability as of the second MRI that showed spinal stenosis.  There was one 13 months earlier that stated the same diagnosis, so I'm challenging their disability date.

If I win, I'll get 13 months of pay and my Medicare will start this year.  It's worth it to challenge the date if you have the evidence.

[finnime]

As I understand it they can pay up to one year before your date of application. There is always a 5 month waiting period, so if your disability begin date is 17 or more months before your application date you can get one year back pay. We'll see what happens next.

I just checked; it still says Approved! And now gives a benefit amount per month, which is higher than I'd thought it would be.