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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 13:16:32 GMT -5
LOL Good for you Firebird! ;D
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 1, 2011 13:17:21 GMT -5
What? I'm being SERIOUS, later!
Can't please anyone around here.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 13:18:18 GMT -5
I'm actually muddling through the initial guest list right now. It's quite tricky because there are plenty of people I would LIKE to have at my wedding, but due to the sheer awesomeness of two different online communities (yes, this is one ;D) I'm having trouble figuring out who would actually want to come, and how to politely ask them if they're even interested. Just PM the select few. One thing folks learn on here is how to make excuses for things they don't want to do
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 13:33:36 GMT -5
Firebird you don't have to spend a lot on a dress but you must look awesome in it! There are some fantastic dress sales so check them out. It also doesn't have to be a traditional wedding dress. It can be a glamourous dress that you really could wear for New Year's Eve or a night at the opera.
I don't know much about Lake Tahoe. But I had my wedding reception as a bonfire on the beach with fireworks. The fireworks were just the type you get at the stores but there were lazer glasses I got for $0.25 a pair that made them appear much more extravagant. It wasn't expensive and everyone loved it.
BTW Congratulations
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 1, 2011 13:36:49 GMT -5
IF you want a white dress a recent trend has been dressing up bridesmaids in white. You can sometimes find a white bridesmaid dress for a fraction of what a wedding dress costs. Sometimes there is more selection in the bridesmaid section too.
When I was shopping for a dress everything was strapless and mermaid, not a good look for me. I ended up purcashing mine from Ebay.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Apr 1, 2011 13:54:49 GMT -5
"But if you have the money, then who cares? "
Hey, even if you don't to each his own....
Really DQ, I'm just yanking your chain.........You're like a big button that says "PUSH ME".
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Apr 1, 2011 13:59:46 GMT -5
I'm really not one to talk. DH and I got married 26 years ago. My Mom and Dad spent more money on our wedding that I care to divulge here. Major league soiree.
At the age of 26 that was important to me. I guess I need to remember that.
Different things are important at different times. But, in the grand scheme of things, the wedding fades in it's importance over time. I just find it amusing to hear the concern over details that in hindsight were completely unimportant. Like I said everyone has an opinion...there's mine.
Not for the proverbial nothing as it were. This is a public message board. Take it with a grain of salt...
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 1, 2011 14:02:09 GMT -5
My MIL practically had a stroke when I said I didn't have a theme for my wedding. The theme was "wedding". I can see how theme weddings might be easier to plan (just order everything to match), but I had to laugh when I saw theme oriented toilet paper for your reception bathrooms in Oriental Trading Magazine. You have too much time on your hands if you are worrying about whether what people will use to wipe their butts matchings the rest of your decor.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 1, 2011 15:47:03 GMT -5
So, ah... I just had lunch with my parents. They are giving us a *very* generous wedding gift - $10,000.
I need to talk to the fiance, but any thoughts on what that money should go toward in our current circumstances? This will probably be a whole separate thread.
No, I'm not planning to use it to upgrade the wedding, although it will be nice to have a little wiggle room on the $10k budget, plus I'm sure we'll use all some of it for the honeymoon of a lifetime.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 15:50:50 GMT -5
So, ah... I just had lunch with my parents. They are giving us a *very* generous wedding gift - $10,000. I need to talk to the fiance, but any thoughts on what that money should go toward in our current circumstances? This will probably be a whole separate thread. No, I'm not planning to use it to upgrade the wedding, although it will be nice to have a little wiggle room on the $10k budget, plus I'm sure we'll use all some of it for the honeymoon of a lifetime. - I say honeymoon - and the rest "house downpayment fund" for the two of you unless you already have one
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 1, 2011 15:55:50 GMT -5
Nah, we don't have one yet. I'm not too worried about that. We're stuck here for at least another five years in my estimation, and we're not going to buy in this state - so we'll start saving for our house in earnest once we're out of the high-interest debt (shouldn't take more than a year).
Realistically, some will probably go to the wedding, some to the honeymoon, and some to supplement the EF savings.
This means I can spend big on a photographer... yay!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 16:18:58 GMT -5
Nah, we don't have one yet. I'm not too worried about that. We're stuck here for at least another five years in my estimation, and we're not going to buy in this state - so we'll start saving for our house in earnest once we're out of the high-interest debt (shouldn't take more than a year). Realistically, some will probably go to the wedding, some to the honeymoon, and some to supplement the EF savings. This means I can spend big on a photographer... yay! Sounds like a good plan and remember: just have fun
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cael
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Post by cael on Apr 1, 2011 16:20:46 GMT -5
Firebird - about dresses. Don't be afraid to try on something you aren't 100% sure you like, you might be surprised fall in love with it! I swore I didn't want a strapless dress - I have no boobs and I swore a strapless dress would just look weird on me. I went to David's Bridal first because they were having a sale & I figured I'd look. I picked out a few to try on that weren't strapless (off the shoulder) and even though I'd liked them on the website, was really meh IRL. Then I tried on a simple strapless one I'd seen online but hadn't been sure about - PERFECT. Loved it. Looked great, actually fit well, and was on sale! Has a ruched bodice and ballgown style bottom, it's taffeta so it's nice & light for summer. AND IT HAS POCKETS!!! I love it, lol. So definitely try on stuff that's a little outside your comfort zone because you never know.
(I know a lot of people who've had bad experiences at David's Bridal.... I did not, just for the record, I had no problems w/ it at all actually!)
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startsmart
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Post by startsmart on Apr 1, 2011 16:55:09 GMT -5
nice gift FB! Definitely have a convo to prioritize your wants. I recommend upgrading to the photographer you want.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 1, 2011 17:02:17 GMT -5
I recommend following Startsmart's advice.
Just for life in general.
;D
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 6, 2011 10:30:53 GMT -5
We went out and got my engagement ring last night! I absolutely love it. It's beautiful and it cost less than $200. Does that win me back some brownie points? ;D
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2011 10:39:23 GMT -5
We went out and got my engagement ring last night! I absolutely love it. It's beautiful and it cost less than $200. Does that win me back some brownie points? ;D WOW! You definitely get lots of points from me.
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trytofindbalance
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Post by trytofindbalance on Apr 6, 2011 12:03:27 GMT -5
Firebird- I got married in 2008 in an area where weddings are very, very expensive (East Coast). I was able to do it all for $10,000. That included invitations, wedding rings, suit, venue, food, cake, alcohol, DJ, flowers and pictures. I had to be very savvy about what I choose to spend my money on. The food and music were very important to me. We lucked out because we have a friend that owns a banquet hall. He made us an offer that we couldn't refuse, $50pp with tax and service charge included room, food, cake and open bar. I couldn't have done it for less in a restaurant around here. We also had our wedding on a Sunday afternoon. I had a friend who is an amazing photographer take our pictures, they came out awesome. I'm not one for lots of pictures on the wall, etc. I just wanted to be able to pick and choose and make a nice little book for myself and a few pictures for my parents and in-laws. I borrowed a $20,000 Dolce and Gabbana dress for the wedding (not a traditional wedding dress, but stunning) from a women that rents dresses to celebrities and others for big events. I used a very reasonable DJ with a great personality and an awesome music selection. We bought my DH a beautiful suit that he could wear again and he has to many other weddings. My DH bought me a beautiful engagement ring, so we bought very simple wedding bands. We also hosted several parties for out of town guests before and after the wedding and stayed in a hotel the night of the reception....all for $10,000. The only thing that wasn't included in that figure was our honeymoon. We didn't go away after the wedding, just took some time off before and after. We're actually going this summer. I was lucky enough to get an awesome trip to Alaska through work...we're not paying a dime besides spending money, but we did have to wait 2 years for our dream honeymoon.
By the way, we ended up with way more than $10,000 in gifts and contributions from family. We were able to have an awesome wedding (people still come up to me and tell me what a great time they had) on the cheap for this area and we were able to put some money away for our future.
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trytofindbalance
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Post by trytofindbalance on Apr 6, 2011 12:07:19 GMT -5
Oh yeah, important detail, we had 100 guests too.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2011 12:10:41 GMT -5
try,
You got some good deals.. Good job.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 6, 2011 12:43:02 GMT -5
I've found what helps with getting deals is to have a price limit in mind, how much are you willing to pay for something?
Then instead of meeting with the vendor and letting them steer the conversation you can say "I have $X to spend, what can you do with that?"
I found I got much better deals then when I just went into it looking for price ranges. A lot of wedding vendors assume that they can get you (or whoever is paying) to spend more by insisting that you want your day to be "special" don't you? It must work since every wedding vendor at the expo I attended was giving out some version of that spiel.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 6, 2011 12:44:06 GMT -5
This message has been deleted.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 6, 2011 15:52:31 GMT -5
Firebird: And you are going to be posting a picture of that engagement ring when?
And again, I say, if you wanted to come wedding dress shop in Seattle....
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 11, 2011 16:10:30 GMT -5
UPDATE:
Well, it's starting to come together. We visited some venues in Lake Tahoe this weekend to get an idea of pricing and where we might like to have the ceremony / reception (in all likelihood, this will be two different places).
We still have a LONG way to go but I was able to use the opportunity to get much firmer numbers on some really important things. The verdict so far? $10k is more or less doable, but it is *very* likely we'll go $2,000-3,000 higher.
Here is our current budget with harder numbers than before. Estimates are based on the more expensive reception venue because it's the one I *really, really, really* hope we end up choosing. So the ultimate amount could be lower, but is very unlikely to go higher.
Ceremony & Reception Basics (these costs are fairly firm): Ceremony: $550 Photography: 2,000 (all day package from my favorite vendor so far) Reception Room: 1,250 (4 hours) Food: 1,875 ($25 / 75 guests, although we only have 55 so far) Alcohol: 675 (everyone gets a ticket for drink #1, then they're on their own) DJ: 600 (3 hours; iPod is only $50 but we're leaning toward DJ) Transportation: 300 (quote - limo shuttle from ceremony to reception for 75) Cake: 600 (it might be much less than this)
Total: $7,850
Flexible Costs (these costs are NOT firm yet):
Favors / gifts: $300 Decorations: 300 Hotel for us: 1,000 (could be less) Invitations: 200 Rings: 500 (may be more for mine but that's DF's choice) Dress: 500 Tuxes: 500 Flowers: 500 Beauty: 1,500 (hair, makeup, spa stuff)
Total: $5,300
Grand Total: $13,150
Obviously, we're planning to DIY on a lot of things - invitations, decorations, flower arrangements (we're going seasonal and minimal on the flowers, so I think $500 is reasonable).
The "beauty" budget is a tad high because it would include alterations (dress or tux), any overspill from my dress budget, hair and makeup for the whole bridal party, and any spa treatments we might like to do the day before.
I think $1,000 is reasonable for our hotel because while I am okay with either staying in a dirt-cheap motel or with relatives on Thursday and possibly Friday night, DF and I are going to want a really nice room for the rest of our time there (which is Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights), particularly the wedding night.
Very few of these costs are based on the size of the guest list other than food, alcohol, and cake - but if we do end up with a guest list closer to 50 than 75, as it is right now, then I could see those costs going down as well.
Since the hotel could be considered a honeymoon expense and we're going cheap on a lot of other stuff, I am okay with exceeding our $10,000 budget if necessary. My revised budget goal, then, is $8,000 for the basics of the ceremony and reception, and $2,000 - 5,000 for the "flex" items on the second list.
But I'm still open to feedback. Any thoughts?
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Post by debtheaven on Apr 11, 2011 16:19:46 GMT -5
the ceremony / reception (in all likelihood, this will be two different places)
Hi Firebird. Why this? One, I would think it would keep costs down to do both the ceremony and the reception in one place. But more importantly, I think it will make your special day more relaxed if people (and that includes you!) don't have to shlep from one place to another.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2011 16:24:05 GMT -5
I think that is great, Firebird!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 11, 2011 16:25:59 GMT -5
Hi Firebird. Why this? One, I would think it would keep costs down to do both the ceremony and the reception in one place. But above all, I think it will make your special day more relaxed if people don't have to shlep from one place to the other.
I agree it would be ideal. I always planned to have them in the same place. The problem is that the reception area with which I am utterly in love is located in a casino (we'd be renting out a very awesome lounge of theirs), and the adjoining chapel is a bit crap. In fact, I hated it. It's small and dingy and we wouldn't be able to take good pictures in there at all.
There are, fortunately, several lovely outdoor chapels not far from the casino. And if we handle transportation from Point A to Point B, I think it should be workable (as opposed to relying on cabs and/or individual drivers).
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Apr 11, 2011 16:30:59 GMT -5
I thought we'd shuttle the motley crew over to the reception area while we're getting our pictures taken, with the understanding that they would be let in as soon as they got there (to prevent... certain guests... getting distracted by the casino ). Then we could follow after pictures in our own limo, the DJ could announce us, and the party would begin.
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Post by debtheaven on Apr 11, 2011 16:50:25 GMT -5
I understand now. Your plan definitely works!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 11, 2011 18:20:46 GMT -5
Your costs seem very reasonable. Great job.
Two things - alcohol seems too high - I took 675 and divided by 75 people = $12/ per drink.
What are you doing for party favors and since it's a "destination wedding", are you bringing them with you or will you be mailing them to people later with "thank you" notes?
Lena
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