Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:20:49 GMT -5
DBF received a promotion last week - he asked me to marry him and I said yes ;D Yays and squishies all around.
Needless to say, my first thought was about my dress our everlasting love and devotion to one another the wedding budget. For the purposes of this post, I am not taking the following into account:
-My parents' contribution, because I don't know how much it will be. My mom has said that they want to contribute something, but she hasn't given me a dollar figure yet. So it's hard to say how much they're planning on giving us and I don't want to make any assumptions.
-DF's contributions. I'm not sure when we're going to officially combine finances, but in the meantime he wants to focus his financial energy on getting the EF up to snuff and paying off debt and that's fine with me. I'm completely okay with taking the lead on saving / paying for the wedding (the point of which is to combine all this stuff anyway ;D). However, he may be contributing in the form of paying extra for our rent, covering the kitty costs, etc. I'm not accounting for any such "bonus" savings.
I currently have $4,400 in my ING account (actually $9,400 but $5,000 of that is earmarked for my ROTH contribution on April 15th). That money is my EF but now it's also my ad hoc wedding fund.
I save $1,600 per month, and the wedding is tentatively scheduled for October. So according to my calculations, I should have around $14,000 at the end of September.
My plan is to keep $4,000 for my EF and plan on spending $10,000 for the wedding. I prefer to have roughly $10,000 in my EF but even without factoring in wedding gifts or bonuses, we should be back up to $7,000 by the end of the year. So I'm okay with temporarily going as low as $4,000. And I think we can put on a very nice wedding for $10,000 even if no one else contributes anything.
Does this sound reasonable?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 5, 2024 11:26:07 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2011 14:22:49 GMT -5
Sounds good! and Congrats!
Put together a wedding budget soon to see if $10k is possible.
|
|
sapphire12
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:02:12 GMT -5
Posts: 1,211
|
Post by sapphire12 on Mar 30, 2011 14:23:50 GMT -5
Congratulations on your engagement!
I will say that if you want a wedding for 10K, it can be done. I can't offer any ideas as I haven't planned one, but well I just know that it can be done if that's what you want.
Have fun planning.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,068
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2011 14:25:46 GMT -5
It depends on where you live, what you want and what time of season you want to get married in. June is THE wedding month so if you want to get married in June prepare to pay 5-6 times the cost you would during the off season. A wedding in Iowa is going to cost you a lot less than a wedding on the East Coast. If you want a $7k gown (Just watched Bridezillas the other day) then $10k isn't going to go very far as a budget. I think it sounds reasonable, but then my budget was only $3k. Therefore it is concluded that I love my husband and understand the value of marriage more than you do. I would not count on any money but what YOU can provide. Let everything else be gravy. I belonged to a wedding board when planning and one of the top complaints on the boards was how parents would promise to contribute and the couple would spend the money without having the check in hand, only to find out the parents now don't want to or can't contribute as expected and the couple is stuck with the bill.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:26:02 GMT -5
Oh by the way, when I say "$10,000 for the wedding," I'm referring to everything - travel costs, venue, our honeymoon (such as it is - we're doing a destination wedding of sorts, and it will pretty much be a long weekend, with the idea that we'll have a longer honeymoon later when we have more money and vacation time saved), food, rings, gifts, tranquilizers, etc.
|
|
strider
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 29, 2011 12:41:49 GMT -5
Posts: 682
|
Post by strider on Mar 30, 2011 14:30:50 GMT -5
Oh by the way, when I say "$10,000 for the wedding," I'm referring to everything - travel costs, venue, our honeymoon (such as it is - we're doing a destination wedding of sorts, and it will pretty much be a long weekend, with the idea that we'll have a longer honeymoon later when we have more money and vacation time saved), food, rings, gifts, tranquilizers, etc. This is what my friends did list last summer. They had a Vegas wedding (not the horror shows some may think of) and it worked well for them. They both took two weeks off of work, drove down from Eastern Washington, partied it up several nights in Vegas, then drove up the California/Oregon/WA coast. All for way under $10k.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:31:08 GMT -5
I would not count on any money but what YOU can provide. Let everything else be gravy. I belonged to a wedding board when planning and one of the top complaints on the boards was how parents would promise to contribute and the couple would spend the money without having the check in hand, only to find out the parents now don't want to or can't contribute as expected and the couple is stuck with the bill.
That's precisely why I don't want to count on anyone's contributions but ours. I don't expect anything from my parents but their presence. If they want to contribute more, that will be gravy.
Put together a wedding budget soon to see if $10k is possible.
I thought I'd do it the opposite way - start with a budget and then make it work. But from our initial projections, $10k should do the job.
Our venue is (most likely) going to be Lake Tahoe, and there are some very reasonably priced vendors in that area. Our guest list is going to be between 75 and 100 people, and I don't mind doing almost everything for cheap. The only thing I am dead set on NOT cheaping out on are the pictures. I want killer pictures, and I'll pay top dollar for excellent quality. Everything else, including the venue, can be on the cheap for all I care.
We're also planning to do our wedding on a Sunday morning with a lunch reception, which should cut the cost like crazy before we even get started.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Mar 30, 2011 14:31:21 GMT -5
I can't speak to the destination wedding thing, but we're getting married in 2 months and the total bill will be roughly $8K for everything. No honeymoon in there though. About 175 people. Pretty LCOL area.
Includes paying for the location (arboretum), reception hall, food, open bar, dress, buying a suit, rings, flowers, cake, invites, giftbags, and a hotel the night of the wedding. It probably includes other stuff I can't think of too.
|
|
alabamagal
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:30:29 GMT -5
Posts: 8,146
|
Post by alabamagal on Mar 30, 2011 14:31:34 GMT -5
Start getting quotes and see what you come up with. We recently went through this exercise with 2 of my kids as a senior in high school (Thank god only an exercise at this point!!!). They had $8000 budget. It adds up fast.
I think the thing to keep in mind is that its the marriage that's important, not the wedding. Just think that 1 year after you are married, are you really going to appreciate those super fabulous flowers, are you really going to watch the wedding video? The only use I ever saw for the wedding video was if you made it to "America's funniest Home Vidoes" or became a YouTube star when something really bad happened. Keep it simple (and inexpensive!). My mother (now 71) was actually complaining to me about several "fancy" weddings that she went to because they went on for hours by the time you had the sit down dinner and went through all the "wedding festivities" that she felt they had to stay for. Guests can enjoy simple weddings also.
Good luck!
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,068
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2011 14:32:38 GMT -5
I know nothing about destination weddings, I'd probably look into a wedding planner or travel agent who deals with destination weddings where you want to have yours. Give that person your budget and they can probably make it happen on $10k or be able to tell you if it is realistic.
Beware of some resorts. There were complaints when it came to DWs that resorts in some places wanted to charge the guests all sorts of fees ON TOP of what they got from the couple.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 5, 2024 11:26:07 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2011 14:33:23 GMT -5
Sounds good! and Congrats! Put together a wedding budget soon to see if $10k is possible. What I mean is price out a top notch photographer, kick ass entertainment and cheap venue. Does it fit a $10k budget?
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:33:56 GMT -5
I can't speak to the destination wedding thing, but we're getting married in 2 months and the total bill will be roughly $8K for everything. No honeymoon in there though. About 175 people. Pretty LCOL area. Includes paying for the location (arboretum), reception hall, food, open bar, dress, buying a suit, rings, flowers, cake, invites, giftbags, and a hotel the night of the wedding. It probably includes other stuff I can't think of too. That's encouraging (congratulations, by the way ;D). I know the destination wedding thing can be expensive, but I don't think ours will be - if we tried to do a local wedding, it would be wicked expensive. A very big part of the point of doing the wedding elsewhere is to save money. (It's also because 80% of our guest list will have to travel anyway, so we might as well have it someplace nice that we like a lot.)
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 5, 2024 11:26:07 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2011 14:34:25 GMT -5
We're also planning to do our wedding on a Sunday morning with a lunch reception, which should cut the cost like crazy before we even get started. Awesome!!!! that should really cut down the costs.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:36:12 GMT -5
I think the thing to keep in mind is that its the marriage that's important, not the wedding. Just think that 1 year after you are married, are you really going to appreciate those super fabulous flowers, are you really going to watch the wedding video? The only use I ever saw for the wedding video was if you made it to "America's funniest Home Vidoes" or became a YouTube star when something really bad happened. Keep it simple (and inexpensive!). My mother (now 71) was actually complaining to me about several "fancy" weddings that she went to because they went on for hours by the time you had the sit down dinner and went through all the "wedding festivities" that she felt they had to stay for. Guests can enjoy simple weddings also.
90% of the typical wedding trappings matter very little or not at all to me.
I'm excited about the idea of having it in Lake Tahoe because it's an area that everyone enjoys, and there's plenty to do. I'm envisioning, more or less, an all-weekend ongoing party with a very nice little ceremony on Sunday morning and a nice lunch to follow. We're a casual group.
|
|
strider
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 29, 2011 12:41:49 GMT -5
Posts: 682
|
Post by strider on Mar 30, 2011 14:36:18 GMT -5
I agree with killer pictures. Do that for sure. Do you plan on getting a live band or a dj?
I say keep the wedding simple besides that and then just have an absolute blast on the reception/honeymoon.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:38:36 GMT -5
I haven't really thought about music yet. I'm sure a live band will cost more than I'm willing to pay, but we'll look into that when we're driving around looking at venues. I think my mom said that a couple of these places include stuff like that in their wedding packages.
Otherwise, I'm good with connecting the iPod to the speakers and having someone man it during the reception.
|
|
DVM gone riding
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 23:04:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,383
Favorite Drink: Coffee!!
|
Post by DVM gone riding on Mar 30, 2011 14:39:24 GMT -5
You should be able to have a nice wedding for 10k but not EVERYTHING you might want. You just have to decide what is important. are you incl the honeymoon in this budget. I think I would budget a seperate 3-5k for that.
|
|
strider
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 29, 2011 12:41:49 GMT -5
Posts: 682
|
Post by strider on Mar 30, 2011 14:42:08 GMT -5
My other friends hooked up an Ipod. No problems at all. They had a wedding playlist with everything you can think of. (pre-wedding song on a loop, "Here Comes the Bride", the song after that when they left the church, and then all their songs they wanted to play at the reception.
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on Mar 30, 2011 14:42:09 GMT -5
Firebird--I know you want simple and cheap, but be prepared to fight for it, even if you are the one paying. I tried to keep things as simple as possible, and everywhere I turned, noone would let me... My mom was obsessed with the flowers and they had to be just right, then an ipod and speakers wasn't going to cut it, then we had to switch to a fancier restaurant, then BLAH BLAH BLAH. Just realize that even if it's your wedding and your $, you may have to fight to get what you want out of it... I have faith in you though!
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:45:02 GMT -5
$1,000-2,000 should do nicely for the honeymoon part of the budget. DF and I spend weekends in Lake Tahoe all the time and we usually spend $200-300 for hotel, food, gambling, etc. I seriously doubt we'll be there longer than five nights so even if we stay in a really nice hotel it won't be too expensive. And some kind of deal on the honeymoon suite may be part of some of these wedding packages.
We'll do a longer, "proper" honeymoon sometime next year. I'll budget more for that.
|
|
|
Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Mar 30, 2011 14:46:14 GMT -5
Needless to say, my first thought was about my dress our everlasting love and devotion to one another the wedding budget. For the purposes of this post, I am not taking the following into account
Perhaps I am out of touch or insensitive here, but my first thought would what a new couples life would be together... talking about goals.... having a family, ideas on raising children, etc., etc.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:47:05 GMT -5
Firebird--I know you want simple and cheap, but be prepared to fight for it, even if you are the one paying. I tried to keep things as simple as possible, and everywhere I turned, noone would let me... My mom was obsessed with the flowers and they had to be just right, then an ipod and speakers wasn't going to cut it, then we had to switch to a fancier restaurant, then BLAH BLAH BLAH. Just realize that even if it's your wedding and your $, you may have to fight to get what you want out of it... I have faith in you though! Good call. Thanks for the warning! I think we're all mostly in agreement on the preliminaries. I figure that if someone wants us to upgrade any element of the ceremony badly enough (beyond what I'm willing to pay for), they can pay for it themselves ;D I'm not against higher quality, after all.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,068
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2011 14:47:16 GMT -5
Just realize that even if it's your wedding and your $, you may have to fight to get what you want out of it... No kidding, however being able to say "It's MY money, *I* am paying for it" really helped. Oh and be prepared for someone to ask you if your love your DF if you ever mention out loud how wedding trappings don't matter that much to you. People kept asking me if I had colors and i didn't. When asked why I said I don't really care that much. It was followed by "Well you love your fiance don't you?" To which I replied that's why I was marrying him. You will not believe how many people equate how much time/effort/money you put into the wedding with how much you love your future spouse.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:48:07 GMT -5
Hopefully you got the tongue-in-cheek tone of that post, SF. I can't wait to marry DF mostly because then he will be my DH.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 5, 2024 11:26:07 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2011 14:49:33 GMT -5
Needless to say, my first thought was about my dress our everlasting love and devotion to one another the wedding budget. For the purposes of this post, I am not taking the following into accountPerhaps I am out of touch or insensitive here, but my first thought would what a new couples life would be together... talking about goals.... having a family, ideas on raising children, etc., etc. You are old and out of touch.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 14:51:35 GMT -5
To which I replied that's why I was marrying him. You will not believe how many people equate how much time/effort/money you put into the wedding with how much you love your future spouse.
I believe it. I'm already getting some weird looks from people when they find out that a) I don't have a ring yet, and b) I. Do. Not. Want. Him. To. Spend. Much. On. It. FULLSTOP.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,068
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 30, 2011 14:53:17 GMT -5
I had someone look at my engagement ring and tell me that she expects her boyfriend to get her something BIGGER or else! My diamond is 1.5 carats.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Mar 30, 2011 14:54:09 GMT -5
To which I replied that's why I was marrying him. You will not believe how many people equate how much time/effort/money you put into the wedding with how much you love your future spouse. I believe it. I'm already getting some weird looks from people when they find out that a) I don't have a ring yet, and b) I. Do. Not. Want. Him. To. Spend. Much. On. It. FULLSTOP. I bet "i dont' have a ring yet" gets better looks than "I didn't get her a ring and I'm not going to" lol.
|
|
strider
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 29, 2011 12:41:49 GMT -5
Posts: 682
|
Post by strider on Mar 30, 2011 14:54:20 GMT -5
I don't look forward to the day of ring shopping.
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on Mar 30, 2011 14:55:36 GMT -5
To which I replied that's why I was marrying him. You will not believe how many people equate how much time/effort/money you put into the wedding with how much you love your future spouse.
Agreed. It is INSANE once you actually get into it--my SIL got a binder for me that listed all the things you had to do, and organize, and have... That binder is the reason we ended up getting married on a beach in front of 14 people. And according to everyone, I still managed to do it all wrong anyhow...
|
|