My Wedding: How Much Can I Afford?

[Firebird]

I'm actually muddling through the initial guest list right now. It's quite tricky because there are plenty of people I would LIKE to have at my wedding, but due to the sheer awesomeness of two different online communities (yes, this is one ;D) I'm having trouble figuring out who would actually want to come, and how to politely ask them if they're even interested.

[shanendoah]

My invitations came from CostCo. I had to order a lot more than I would ever use, but I still spent less on them than I would have otherwise.
Mine were very simple, embossed pattern, cream colored paper, black ink.

[Firebird]

Oh yes - I also want a rocking cake. This is the one I like best so far:

4.bp.blogspot.com/-pfWnsBT3b3c/TV8-VXCZo3I/AAAAAAAAR5g/UsY3cVXVSsg/s1600/emily%2Bt.linked.roses.jpg

[shanendoah]

My cake was also CostCo, but cake didn't matter to me. We made the rest of the meal ourselves (again, easy when you have 16 people total). I will say, though, the CostCo cake froze and thawed beautifully, so the piece we had on our first anniversary was just as yummy as fresh. (Probably all the preservatives, but I try not to think about that.)

[strider]

I'm single now but my future wife will probably hate me.

Simple invites and slightly more expensive card stock, no catering just a family member that mans the grill, outdoor in a pavillion, Ipod for music, kegs and costco soda/water for everyone else (it's ok, most people I know like beer or at least cheap wine).

I'll spend good on pictures and honeymoon.

[CarolinaKat]

Haven't read through the posts, just wanted to say my friends are having a hard time with their '10K' budget. It will be do-able, but won't be extravagant. Honeymoon is not included

[kgb18]

We didn't spend a lot on the cake. We ordered one from our local grocery store, but we got a lot of compliments on it. The big thing in our region is a cookie table. Everyone from the family bakes. People look forward to the cookies more than the cake, and I wanted to have the greatest cookie table ever. I think we succeeded. We had about 2 dozen different kinds of cookies. It's been almost three years, and people still mention it to me.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My invitations came from Office Max. I put them together myself (glued the invite to the card stock) but for everything that I needed for 150 invitations it only came to $63.63.

With the I-pod I've heard it can work but make sure you have someone who can handle the computer if something goes wrong. Another common board thread was doing the I-pod and all of a sudden it'd skip out during the first dance or something and someone would have to spend time fiddling with it.

With photographers a the least you want someone who has done weddings before. Organzing a bunch of people at a wedding is a lot harder than posing a senior in your studio.

Make a list of "must have" shots and make a list of the people in them. Also provide a list of who is in each shot by name. It makes it easier to organize for everyone involved and you also know you will get those photos that are important to you.

They were not hte only photos my photographer took, but they are ones that she MAKES SURE to get. She said she learned thru experience to have couples make a list because the couple often doesn't remember during the day what shots they want and then get angry at the photographer for not making it happen. She can't read minds, she cannot know that getting a shot of you together where you had your first date is important to you, you have to tell her.

[qofcc]

My invitations were card stock blank invitations from Michael's and I printed them with a photo background using a high quality color printer at work (with permission of course). I ran the envelopes through the printer with a calligraphy font. I also pre-addressed the thank-you note envelopes running them through too while I was at it. I think the whole thing cost less than $50. They have a 40% off coupon in the paper almost every week. I was happy with the way they turned out. I have one in a frame alongside a wedding photo.

[qofcc]

If you go with the I pod, have a backup. We used mix CDs and I made an extra copy.

We splurged on a $100 cake from the fanciest bakery in town. We only had 50 people and I cut the pieces small, but I designed the cake to match the beading on my dress and people said it was gorgeous and delicious too.

[Deleted]

We got our wedding invitations from invitesite and printed/assembled them ourselves. They were beautiful for much less money. They'll send you a sample of an invitation you are interested in.

[cael]

Firebird - we got our save the date magnets from Vistaprint and will probably get invitations from them too. Very reasonably priced. I don't care one bit about fancy invites, lol.

[shanendoah]

In honor of this thread, my avatar is now my wedding cake topper

[Firebird]

Aww, that's adorable!

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

Firebird,

My stepbrother got married in Tahoe many moons ago. It was a gorgeous ceremony and really cheap (My family has no $$). He did it at the Ridge Tahoe, a timeshare resort that backs up to Heavenly on the South Shore. My parents were in the process of joining at the time but I don't think that they officially had so they got a good deal on the venue and rooms for everyone (Because it was a timeshare, the rooms came with the full kitchen setup, living room, etc). You should look into that resort and see if they are offering any promos to "look" and "consider becoming a member". The place has an indoor/outdoor pool, several outdoor pools and spas, a workout center, and free shuttles that run to stateline and back. He got married there in October and the pics turned out gorgeous (I think he went with the photographer the resort setup).

[runewell]

My wife and I are pretty low-maintenance. We did a wedding as we were leaving college on about $3,000 fourteen years ago. We had our friends help with the wedding (and be in it) and it was a great time together. It was all fairly basic, the photography, decorations, etc. Because we had free time, we saved by doing a lot ourselves. We had a reception with a lot of snacks but not a meal per se.

It's just important for each cople to decide what is really important. Here's the truth from our point of view.

A dress? You wear it one time and it just occupies space in your walk-in closet.

Photos/video? They're stashed away in an album somewhere. We see them about once every time we relocate and examine all the stuff that is following us everywhere. Someday when we will older people will be able to giggle at how young we looked back then.

For our rehearsal dinner we had a cookout and volleyball, that was fun. We supplied the food and friends took over and prepared the meal. Good times. Now we are married and our wedding was memorable, but spending twice as much for us wouldn't have made any difference. Back then in our first year of marriage it was a treat to go to some place like Subway once a week, but we got off on the right foot financially. He we are, 40 yrs old and $400K net worth.

Whatever is important to you for your wedding, DO IT. But don't do it if it's only to please others. Oh and big diamonds just mean you're going to snag your ring all manner of things.

[Firebird]

I LOVE MY APRIL FOOLS DAY AVATAR!!!!!! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! ;D ;D ;D

[Firebird]

Wow, it magically changes my text too.

Happy APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!!!!!

[8 Bit WWBG]

DF and I have yet to plan a single thing, and I'm not looking forward to that part of it.

One stance I am taking is that we are doing it our way because no matter what we do, SOMEONE will be offended. Like KGB said at the top of this page, the facebook invites insult some people. Others think an electronic invite is fine. As I will have guests spanning about 4 generations of etiquette, there is absolutely no way I am not going to offend someone with something. I don't care how it was done during the Eisenhower administration.

Interesting idea about lists of photos. That is a handy tip.

[Pants]

I give you all the only advice that kept me sane trying to deal with everyone.

What really matters on your wedding day is that you show up, he/she shows up, and the officient helps you pledge your lives to each other. Everything else is gravy.

[steph08]

I think 10k is a good budget; we did my wedding for about that though that didn't include weddings bands (about $800 - simple for him, matching diamond for mine) or honeymoon (still haven't gone on one 1.5 years later). About 200 people in PA.

I went big on the dress, DJ, and photography. They all cost 1k, and they were all worth it. Video was meaningless to me because I hate watching myself in anything so I didn't even bother. I bought save the dates and invitations online at magnetstreet because I didn't want to do my own and the extra expense was worth it to me.

[skubikky]

"The wedding pictures are really, really important to me. And the thing is that I can't just get "a talented photographer," I need a talented photographer who specifically specializes in taking beautiful shots of people who do not naturally photograph well. "

I gotta laugh kiddo. Fast forward 25 years and you'll have taken those pictures out maybe once. They'll be buried under the kids baby books somewhere in your crawlspace, long forgotten....

[8 Bit WWBG]

The whole "doesn't include" thing is also something I have trouble computing. Its one thing to say "we are planning $10k for our reception". I can't work with numbers that exclude things I will still have to pay for. Unless someone else is footing the bill for the honeymoon, I plan on including it in our wedding budget.

Cripes... honeymoon.... something else to plan

[skubikky]

"I'm just to practical. I keep thinking how nice that $10k would be toward a down payment for a house or buying furniture for one as there are a lot of expenses after you are married."

Pat, this was exactly what I was thinking.

Go to Tahoe, do a $50 JOP ceremony at the court house, go out to dinner and call it a life.

If people spent as much time and consideration on marriage, compatibility, and what it really means to put someone before yourself as opposed to what type of photographer, dress, food they'd save themselves a lot of time, effort and grief.

Don't mean to undermine your plans, congrats, but there it is.....

[Deleted]

But throwing a nice party is a lot of fun.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Can't there be one wedding thread were someone doesn't announce that wanting to have a wedding that costs more than $50 means the couple doesn't understand or appreciate the true meaning of marriage?

Congrats you are better than anyone who had a wedding. Your marriage will last longer and be much happier than anyone who spent more than you did.

Sheesh, how much someone spends on a wedding has no correlation to whether or not they value marriage or will last.

[skubikky]

"Can't there be one wedding thread were someone doesn't announce that wanting to have a wedding that costs more than $50 means the couple doesn't understand or appreciate the true meaning of marriage?

Absolutely not you young whipper snapper ....

Remember....these are just opinions based on life experience....Opinions are like the nose on your face....just about everyone has one...

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I will agree with don't go into debt for one, but if you go into debt for what amounts to an 8 hour party you already had issues to begin with that followed you into the marriage.

But if you have the money, then who cares?

[shanendoah]

Thinking about it, here is the best advice I can give you - find a Maid of Honor who will do all your stressing for you.
DH and I got married over a 3 day weekend. Neither of us took any extra time off. My BFF, who was a SAHW at the time (now she's a SAHM), came up a little over a week early. She cleaned my house every day (we had 2 dogs), mowed the yard 3 times (the reception was in our back yard), put my mom and step-mom to work the morning of the reception, and basically just took care of everything for me.
In fact, she did the stressing so well that when I accidentally brushed up against a tire in a parking lot in my dress, I instantly knew I had to hide it from her, or she would freak, but I wasn't bothered in the least.
It really was the very best gift she could have given me.

[Firebird]

If people spent as much time and consideration on marriage, compatibility, and what it really means to put someone before yourself as opposed to what type of photographer, dress, food they'd save themselves a lot of time, effort and grief.

Don't mean to undermine your plans, congrats, but there it is.....

I don't really care about DF as a person. He's just eye candy and marrying him is an item on my 20-something checklist. Damn straight we're having a wedding. That's the whole point of marrying him!

;D