Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 16:55:49 GMT -5
The only thing I would change if I could go back would be to ante-up for the video (nice for kids/grandkids later on too--you ARE having kids right *and just to clarify I am joking on that last part*). Of course we're having children. We're thinking eight or nine total, and if money is a problem then I'll just quit my job and go on welfare.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Mar 30, 2011 16:57:19 GMT -5
"I agree that pictures are most important."
Interesting what people think are important. We aren't married yet, but I would have said pictures were probably the least important thing to me. I can't even imagine ever looking at them. My parents have one wedding photo hanging in the house, but I can't say that in 30 years I've ever seen another one from their wedding. Maybe it's just cuz I'm not a big photo person to begin with, but I think I would have had photos way down the list for us.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,989
|
Post by raeoflyte on Mar 30, 2011 16:59:04 GMT -5
It seems so cheesy, which is why we didn't do it. But no matter how low key you are, it's still a whirlwind of a day.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 17:00:41 GMT -5
Hoops, you are a boy and know nothing of this ;D
Seriously, I don't think most guys care about the photos. And the only reason I do is because this is the one time in my life where I really, really want to look beautiful and feminine. I am not a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not particularly pretty, I don't wear makeup, I don't get my nails done, I hate shopping, I don't wear dresses, the list goes on and on.
This is the one day in my entire life when all that changes. I want to have photographic evidence, and I want that photographic evidence to show me looking amazing. That's why this matters to me.
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 30, 2011 17:04:37 GMT -5
I look at my wedding pics. Than again, I love looking at any wedding pics But I also LOVED LOVED LOVED my dress and would wear it daily if 1) could still fit in it and 2) didn't think that I would get committed for going grocery shopping in a wedding dress. I think food and music is also important, but that's more for the guests than bride and groom. Pics is really the only wedding thing that stays with you in any kind of useful way Lena
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 30, 2011 17:05:54 GMT -5
BTW, let me know if you want me to ask my DH for any ideas/pointers about what you should be looking for in a photographer or just general ideas.
Disclaimer: he is not a photographer by profession, but did do some professional photography before.
Lena
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 17:09:14 GMT -5
Yes please. I'm very grateful for any help I can find. The second-best photographer I know is an amateur (or at least he was until very recently), so I definitely don't scoff at amateur work.
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 30, 2011 17:12:15 GMT -5
will do
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Mar 30, 2011 17:12:35 GMT -5
I understand the wanting to look different and amazing for one day. My GF is the same way. Maybe what I understand less is why the need for 800 photos of us wearing the same clothes in the same place. I want a good picture, heck I want a GREAT picture, but I can already see that the best picture will go up on the wall, the rest I'll never see again.
Maybe I just don't understand the quality of photography between an ok photographer and a really great one. Heck it's probably because I can't tell the difference between an ok photo and a great one. It's all pretty much "yep, that looks like me alright".
All that being said we're apparently bringing in an out-of-state photographer because my gf likes how she looks in all the photos he's taken of her for family photos and stuff with her parents.
I'm a little frightened now that I'm just naive about how many times I'm going to be subjected to looking at these photos lol.
|
|
|
Post by debtheaven on Mar 30, 2011 17:20:01 GMT -5
I can already see that the best picture will go up on the wall, the rest I'll never see again.Ha! You're wrong there Hoops LOL. One day your kids will find that album (if you want to have kids one day). They will be absolutely fascinated by it, and they will pore over it for HOURS and ask you "Who is this? And who is that?" "Wow so-and-so looks so young!" "Why is Uncle X sitting with that lady instead of Auntie Y?" LOL. The best answer I can give you about why those photos are important (even if they aren't viewed often) is that they are a record of your family history, and your DF's. And personally I think they are even more precious now in our digital age when many of us don't even bother to create photo albums anymore. I have no advice for you Firebird, I just wanted to say congratulations to you (and to Hoops).
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 17:24:13 GMT -5
Maybe I just don't understand the quality of photography between an ok photographer and a really great one. Heck it's probably because I can't tell the difference between an ok photo and a great one. It's all pretty much "yep, that looks like me alright".
This made me laugh. I bet you are one of those guys who photographs brilliantly and looks great in all of his pictures, and it's completely wasted on you because you think you look the same all the time. DF IS THE SAME WAY. So not fair.
Ha! You're wrong there Hoops LOL. One day your kids will find that album, they will be absolutely fascinated by it, and they will pore over it for HOURS and ask you "Who is this? And who is that?" "Wow so-and-so looks so young!" "Why is Uncle X sitting with that lady instead of Auntie Y?" LOL.
Or in my friend's daughter's case, "Mommy why is Uncle X kissing that ugly lady?" Turned out that was the woman he ended up marrying. Who was in the room at the time.
Awwwwwkward turrrrrrrrrtle.
Thanks for the congrats ;D
|
|
|
Post by debtheaven on Mar 30, 2011 17:27:33 GMT -5
YW!
LOL! Poor woman!
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 17:32:58 GMT -5
We all laughed about it - she is actually quite lovely, it was just a terrible picture (you see why this matters, HOOPS??! ;D). But it would have been awful if she really was ugly.
What does YW mean?
|
|
shanendoah
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:44:48 GMT -5
Posts: 10,096
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0c3563
|
Post by shanendoah on Mar 30, 2011 17:40:06 GMT -5
My brother was supposed to be my photographer (he's amazing - and not just cause he's my brother - firebird owns a copy of my coffee table book with his photography, so she knows), but his car engine blew up on the way to the airport. The wife of our officiant (good friends) stepped up and was our official photographer. But my mom also brought her camera, as did my dad, and we provided disposable cameras to all 12 of our other attendees. I think my mother took my favorite formal portrait, our photographer took my favorite informal portrait, I have no idea who took my favorite picture of the cake, or the great reception picture that has our dogs (I crop us out of it).
|
|
kgb18
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 8:15:23 GMT -5
Posts: 4,904
|
Post by kgb18 on Mar 30, 2011 17:43:57 GMT -5
Firebird, Congratulations!! That's great news. Really, a wedding can be as inexpensive or as expensive as you want it to be. As others have mentioned, it depends on regional costs and what you want. Our wedding (total budget including my dress and honeymoon, but not rings) was about $17k. We had a fairly formal wedding with about 230 guests. Our parents told us right away how much money they were going to give us, so we did count their contributions in our planning. Between our portion and our parents' contributions, we paid for everything in cash except for about $2,000 of the honeymoon. And the rings. But all of that is paid for now.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 17:45:53 GMT -5
But my mom also brought her camera, as did my dad, and we provided disposable cameras to all 12 of our other attendees.
That's one thing I definitely won't be doing. My cousin did at her wedding (which was otherwise lovely, and not just because it's where I met my own dearly beloved ;D) and she got about two shots that weren't total crap. Which would have been okay if she hadn't then put them in her album *le sigh*
Plus I don't want anyone distracting the real photographer.
|
|
|
Post by debtheaven on Mar 30, 2011 17:53:10 GMT -5
YW = You're welcome!
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 17:55:30 GMT -5
Duh. I probably could have worked that out if I'd thought about it for more than a few seconds
|
|
startsmart
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 12:45:52 GMT -5
Posts: 4,504
|
Post by startsmart on Mar 30, 2011 19:14:59 GMT -5
for the photography, you've got some time so start noting what you like and don't like in wedding pics and pics of yourself. My cousin had an AMAZING photography team and the assistant would be watching the shot and tell them, "nope, do it again. you crinkled your nose and you hate that" - she picked all all the small things that you don't realize you're doing until you get the proofs back. However, if you do some engagement pics you'll be able to analyze what YOU think makes a good pic. Text me about next weekend and I'll see if I can get away for a day. I've got a client up in Tahoe now so it might be a fun get away Or you and DF can drop by my place on your way home and hang out for a bit!
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 30, 2011 19:22:45 GMT -5
Will do, SS. And that's a brilliant idea about telling the photographer what I don't want to be doing in the pictures. I never thought of that. Our scouting excursion will almost certainly be on Sunday since DF always works Saturday. I'll let you know. It will be fun to have your keen eyes on our venues
|
|
Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,891
|
Post by Cookies Galore on Mar 30, 2011 19:43:06 GMT -5
The only thing I would change if I could go back would be to ante-up for the video (nice for kids/grandkids later on too--you ARE having kids right *and just to clarify I am joking on that last part*). Of course we're having children. We're thinking eight or nine total, and if money is a problem then I'll just quit my job and go on welfare. I have a feeling you're being sarcastic, but I can't be too sure, so I'm going to berate you instead. Congrats, hon! I'm booking my flight to Tahoe as we speak!
|
|
|
Post by illinicheme on Mar 30, 2011 20:05:57 GMT -5
Seriously, I don't think most guys care about the photos. And the only reason I do is because this is the one time in my life where I really, really want to look beautiful and feminine. I am not a girly girl by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not particularly pretty, I don't wear makeup, I don't get my nails done, I hate shopping, I don't wear dresses, the list goes on and on. This is the one day in my entire life when all that changes. I want to have photographic evidence, and I want that photographic evidence to show me looking amazing. That's why this matters to me. I'm also not a girly girl, and my wedding day was one of the only times in my life that I felt legitimately beautiful. (Of course, I had a terrible head cold, but that's another story.) The pictures were very important to me (we spent ~$3000), but I'm into photography and can tell the difference between a bad, good, and great photograph. We spent ~$11k on our wedding, but that did not include the honeymoon or rings. We decided a few things that were important to us (open bar, good photography, ceremony/reception at the same location with minimal time between so the guests weren't left hanging for several hours) and tried to minimize spend on the rest. We ended up using an all-inclusive venue a few blocks off the Vegas strip. It was awesome (minus the terrible head cold).
|
|
Jake 48
Senior Member
keeping the faith
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:06:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,337
|
Post by Jake 48 on Mar 30, 2011 20:21:06 GMT -5
congratulations and best wishes. I have no advice on cost, our wedding cost about 500.00. 14 people, BBQ, married on beach by JP and then out for ice cream.
|
|
tcu2003
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 31, 2010 15:24:01 GMT -5
Posts: 4,955
|
Post by tcu2003 on Mar 31, 2011 13:21:53 GMT -5
We spent about $9k on our wedding last July, but that didn't include rings or the honeymoon. We got married in my hometown (small town in SE Kansas), so venue and food costs were really low. We were also able to bring in our own alcohol, which saved a ton of money. I got my dress for about $500, and it didn't need any alterations. The invitations were designed by a friend's husband, who is a graphic designer, but that didn't really save us any money as the printing fees were still high, and we still paid for his time - but I LOVED them! He also did our programs, which matched the invitations, and again, I LOVED. We were also able to spend more money on our photographer, which was important to me.
We did not have a videographer, and I'm still okay with that. It's not something I missed, and don't think I ever will. I doubt I'd ever watch if if we had filmed it.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 31, 2011 13:25:01 GMT -5
It's looking like we can do the venue cost for between $1,000 and $2,000 and food for ~$50 per head. Which is very promising.
I'm glad I'm not the only non-girly girl on this board ;D
|
|
kgb18
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 8:15:23 GMT -5
Posts: 4,904
|
Post by kgb18 on Mar 31, 2011 13:27:52 GMT -5
I didn't have a binder, but I had a folder organized into categories. If you are having a big wedding and doing everything yourself, you've got to stay organized.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,452
|
Post by Firebird on Mar 31, 2011 13:31:37 GMT -5
Another awesome suggestion. Thanks. I'll steal one from work and keep everything organized thataway.
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,979
|
Post by cronewitch on Mar 31, 2011 14:06:36 GMT -5
Remember it is your wedding and should be your way. If you don't want things like rehearsal dinner just don't do it. You don't need to spend money on fancy invitations unless you want to. My niece send invites on facebook saying if you want to come send her and address to get an invitation. I just RSVP's without giving her an address and got the address to the venue from her so never got a paper invitation. You could spend a fortune on invitations, napkins and match books with your name and wedding date or you can skip it, your wedding your way.
|
|
telephus44
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 10:20:21 GMT -5
Posts: 1,259
|
Post by telephus44 on Mar 31, 2011 14:23:26 GMT -5
Another reminder, sounds like you have this covered, but don't be afraid to spend money on what's important to you, and not of what isn't. I find it interesting to read how many people on here spend thousands of dollars on pictures - I didn't even have a photographer at our wedding because, quite frankly, I don't care about pictures. I have some from friends who were there and brought cameras. However, I did spent a lot of $$ on invitations. I work in the printing industry, and paper and printing IS important to me. I have a framed copy of my wedding invitation hung on the wall and I see it everyday. I'm sure if I loved baking I would have cared more about my cake.
So roundabout way - if you want to spend a lot of money on something, make sure it's something YOU care about - if you don't care about the flowers, the cake, whatever - feel free to cheap out on those. But don't let someone dictate what you NEED to spend big bucks on.
|
|
kgb18
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 8:15:23 GMT -5
Posts: 4,904
|
Post by kgb18 on Mar 31, 2011 14:29:03 GMT -5
I'm not a fan of the Facebook/email invite. I still like tradition for some things, and a lot of older people don't do the computer thing. But you still don't have to spend a fortune. My local UPS Store does printing. They did my invitations. They were beautiful, and only a fraction of the cost that many traditional invite places cost.
|
|