We need to bring back the Flori-DUH thread!

[Tennesseer]

Opened the article and before I read its title, I saw the guy's face I said "Florida".  Sure enough...

Minutes after being released from jail, a Florida man was arrested in the jail's parking lot for breaking into cars

Casey Michael Lewis was a free man for about 15 minutes, not even leaving the grounds of the jail where he'd been locked up before being arrested again.

The 37-year-old had just been released Thursday from the St. Lucie County Detention Facility in Fort Pierce, Florida, where he'd been held on grand theft charges, according to an arrest affidavit.

Surveillance video showed Lewis looking into cars and opening the door of a silver vehicle, according to the affidavit. The report says Lewis entered the vehicle from the driver's side and sat in the car for about two and a half minutes. He then exited the vehicle and walked around the length of the lot, checking vehicles along the way by either looking into the windows or lifting door handles to see whether they were unsecured, the affidavit said.

Article here:  Minutes after being released from jail, a Florida man was arrested in the jail's parking lot for breaking into cars

[NancysSummerSip]

www.wptv.com/news/state/miami-dolphins-cheerleader-attacked-ex-during-burglary-cops

A Miami Dolphins cheerleader was arrested after allegedly attacking her ex-boyfriend and another woman inside his home, police said.
Whitney Robertson, 25, was arrested Wednesday on a burglary with assault or battery charge, according to an arrest report.
According to the report, Robertson had dated the man for about three weeks, and the incident happened about a week after he ended the relationship, on March 26.
The report said the ex was having dinner with a woman in his Miami home when Robertson entered through an unlocked rear door, picked up a lit candle and threw it at them, hitting the ex in the hand. He was left with a visible bruise, the report said.
The ex-boyfriend and the other woman started to run away but Robertson began throwing porcelain plates at them, the report said. The ex managed to grab Robertson's arm and escort her outside the home, the report said.

OK, first off: you're a cheerleader on a pro football team. Know what that means? You can hook other fish in the sea, princess. You got hired for your looks, pretty much. Someone else is going to want to at least be seen with you. Clearly this guy figured out after three weeks, you were cray-cray beneath the bodacious booty. Either that or you were a quickie while he was on hiatus from another relationship. Either way, this was not going to work, and throwing stuff at him was not going to win him back.

[Tennesseer]

Woman Steals $1,800 Worth of Goods Using Walmart Self-Checkout

A Florida woman was arrested after a deputy said she bought over $1,800 worth of electronics while paying only $3.70 at a Walmart self-checkout on Monday.

West’s crime was uncovered after a loss prevention officer at the Walmart told a deputy he saw West and another woman select a computer, video game controllers, and other merchandise from the electronics department.

The women then covered the barcodes of the more expensive items from merchandise in the clearance department and took them to the self-checkout area. They paid a total of $3.70, which was $1,821 less than what should have been paid, according to an affidavit.

After West’s crime was discovered, she said she was only trying to get presents for her family.

“I am just trying to get gifts for my son that I cannot afford. The computer is for my husband. Since he just got me a Coach purse, I figured he deserved something nice, as well,” West told a deputy, according to the affidavit.

Article here: Woman Steals $1,800 Worth of Goods Using Walmart Self-Checkout

(for the highlighted paragraph).

[Tennesseer]

This could be Florida what with all the snow birds and their RVs.

Gas Thieves Siphon Wrong Tank on Bus in Gross Mix-Up

Thieves once attempted to siphon gas from a bus got a nasty surprise—they instead tapped the sewage tank.

The unidentified thieves spotted a parked bus in Laverton, Australia, at night, reported the Daily Mail years ago. But the story this week has gone viral again, perhaps because of the “instant karma” nature of the story and because so many people have been victims of gas siphoning.

When they attempted to siphon the gasoline, they instead got a mouthful of raw sewage.

Article here: Gas Thieves Siphon Wrong Tank on Bus in Gross Mix-Up

[toomuchreality]

Apr 7, 2019 20:38:01 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

This could be Florida what with all the snow birds and their RVs.

Gas Thieves Siphon Wrong Tank on Bus in Gross Mix-Up

Thieves once attempted to siphon gas from a bus got a nasty surprise—they instead tapped the sewage tank.

The unidentified thieves spotted a parked bus in Laverton, Australia, at night, reported the Daily Mail years ago. But the story this week has gone viral again, perhaps because of the “instant karma” nature of the story and because so many people have been victims of gas siphoning.

When they attempted to siphon the gasoline, they instead got a mouthful of raw sewage.

Article here: Gas Thieves Siphon Wrong Tank on Bus in Gross Mix-Up

    

OMG- This is SO bad... But then again, so good!    "Gross" doesn't even begin to describe it!

[tractor]

www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-lane-army-turtles-brevard-20190410-story.html

Watch out Florida, he’s coming for you.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 10, 2019 8:14:08 GMT -5 tractor said:

www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-lane-army-turtles-brevard-20190410-story.html

Watch out Florida, he’s coming for you.

Article doesn't mentioned if the turtles were teenage mutants or trained ninjas.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 10, 2019 2:53:25 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Apr 7, 2019 20:38:01 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

This could be Florida what with all the snow birds and their RVs.

Gas Thieves Siphon Wrong Tank on Bus in Gross Mix-Up

Thieves once attempted to siphon gas from a bus got a nasty surprise—they instead tapped the sewage tank.

The unidentified thieves spotted a parked bus in Laverton, Australia, at night, reported the Daily Mail years ago. But the story this week has gone viral again, perhaps because of the “instant karma” nature of the story and because so many people have been victims of gas siphoning.

When they attempted to siphon the gasoline, they instead got a mouthful of raw sewage.

Article here: Gas Thieves Siphon Wrong Tank on Bus in Gross Mix-Up

    

OMG- This is SO bad... But then again, so good!    "Gross" doesn't even begin to describe it!

I suppose it could have been just as bad but at least they didn't try to orally siphon out the contents of a 'honeywagon'.

[toomuchreality]

Y U C K !

[Value Buy]

Okay, this is not about stupid people doing illegal things, but still........

www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/large-bird-attacks-and-kills-its-fallen-owner-in-florida/ar-BBVUP4i?li=BBnbfcL

The foot claws on this thing are tremendous and they can jump something like four feet in the air and come down on a person who has fallen to the ground......

[toomuchreality]

Apr 15, 2019 10:28:29 GMT -5 Value Buy said:

Okay, this is not about stupid people doing illegal things, but still........

www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/large-bird-attacks-and-kills-its-fallen-owner-in-florida/ar-BBVUP4i?li=BBnbfcL

The foot claws on this thing are tremendous and they can jump something like four feet in the air and come down on a person who has fallen to the ground......

YIKES!   That's a wicked way to go.

I don't know about those birds, but I have never thought emus were very nice.  I once saw an emu swallow a HUGE heavy black garbage bag in one gulp (not real bright)... industrial size and strength, used at/by the zoo.  I have often wondered if the bird survived and if the employee who threw the empty bag over the fence, then got distracted and left it there, kept his job. 

[tractor]

One report I read was that this species of bird has been classified as the most dangerous bird on the planet. Combined with all birds relatively small brain and lack of cognitive abilities, it doesn’t sound like they would make an ideal pet.

[Tennesseer]

'SCOHOL': Contractor misspelled 'school' on a Doral, Florida road, city confirms

[NancysSummerSip]

www.wptv.com/news/state/fake-officer-pulls-over-a-real-undercover-officer-in-florida

PLANT CITY, Fla. (AP) — Authorities say a Florida man impersonating an officer flipped the red and blue lights on his SUV while unknowingly trying to stop a car with a real officer.

The Tampa Bay Times reports 26-year-old Matthew Erris was arrested on a charge of impersonating a public officer.

An arrest report says Erris turned on the red and blue lights on his SUV in Plant City, Florida to try to stop the car in front of him.

The driver was an undercover Hillsborough County sheriff's detective in an unmarked car. He didn't pull over. Instead he called dispatchers to alert other deputies, who later stopped Erris.

Another example of "instant karma's gonna get you."

[Tennesseer]

Meanwhile in Orlando, and while he was hiding Easter eggs during the overnight hours....




Person in Easter Bunny costume throws punches in downtown Orlando brawl

[NancysSummerSip]

Apr 22, 2019 11:21:23 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Meanwhile in Orlando, and while he was hiding Easter eggs during the overnight hours....




Person in Easter Bunny costume throws punches in downtown Orlando brawl

Not the bunny's fault. Someone in the crowd egged him on.

[toomuchreality]

Woman Sees Dealership Employee Running Errands in Her Truck While It's in for Service, Steals It Back

No one wants their car misused while in the shop, since it’s in for service, not joyrides or errands. But a Mississippi woman with a knack for teaching people a lesson didn’t just file a complaint when she saw a dealership employee running errands in her truck—she just stole the truck back and left them without a ride.


jalopnik.com/woman-sees-dealership-employee-running-errands-in-her-t-1834175004?utm_source=quora&utm_medium=referral

This  has happened to me before  and I have seen it happen to others...   used to date a guy that told me they did it all the time. He thought they were quite clever.  I didn't find it clever, or amusing. I  threatened a law suit in regard to my car. Suddenly my paint job got done in a hurry, when they couldn't drive my car all day every day (without permission or a valid driver's license)!

[NancysSummerSip]

www.wptv.com/news/state/meth-smoking-florida-man-attacks-mattress-in-jealous-rage-deputies-say

FORT WALTON BEACH, Fla. (AP) — An apparently hallucinating Florida man used a bedpost to attack a mattress where he thought a man was hiding.

In a Facebook post, The Okaloosa County Sheriff's office quotes the girlfriend of 37-year-old Felipe Oquendo as saying that he began acting erratically early Friday. The girlfriend told deputies Oquendo thought she was cheating on him with a man he thought he saw in the mattress at their Fort Walton Beach home.

She said Oquendo hit the mattress with a bed post, ripped it apart and locked the bedroom door. She was able to escape and call police.

The sheriff's office says Oquendo later admitted to having smoked meth.

OK, not a man ON a mattress, but IN a mattress. Listen, high-as-a-kite-boy, a man in a mattress would likely already be dead from suffocation. Or stab wounds from those nasty coil thingies. If you are seeing people inside opaque inanimate objects, that dope you're toking may be Kryptonite. And Superman wants it back.

[zibazinski]

Apr 22, 2019 20:12:52 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

Woman Sees Dealership Employee Running Errands in Her Truck While It's in for Service, Steals It Back

No one wants their car misused while in the shop, since it’s in for service, not joyrides or errands. But a Mississippi woman with a knack for teaching people a lesson didn’t just file a complaint when she saw a dealership employee running errands in her truck—she just stole the truck back and left them without a ride.


jalopnik.com/woman-sees-dealership-employee-running-errands-in-her-t-1834175004?utm_source=quora&utm_medium=referral

This  has happened to me before  and I have seen it happen to others...   used to date a guy that told me they did it all the time. He thought they were quite clever.  I didn't find it clever, or amusing. I  threatened a law suit in regard to my car. Suddenly my paint job got done in a hurry, when they couldn't drive my car all day every day (without permission or a valid driver's license)!

I write down my mileage

[zibazinski]

It’s not just Florida. DS just called from DC. A naked man was riding a bicycle around the White House. Cops responded so he rode his bike through the barriers that cars can’t get through. I wish he’d have videoed it instead of calling me. He said it was hysterical!!

[dannylion]

I think it's probably easier to be a full-time eccentric (or full-on bat-shit crazy) in a warm climate.  I would think that having to bundle up to go outside in cold weather would make it just not worth the effort.  I wonder if a large number of the folks who share their special weirdness with the world via the internet do so because they live in a cold climate and it's just too much bother to put on the winter gear and go outside to annoy people.  


 

[Tennesseer]

Apr 27, 2019 14:55:32 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I think it's probably easier to be a full-time eccentric (or full-on bat-shit crazy) in a warm climate.  I would think that having to bundle up to go outside in cold weather would make it just not worth the effort.  I wonder if a large number of the folks who share their special weirdness with the world via the internet do so because they live in a cold climate and it's just too much bother to put on the winter gear and go outside to annoy people.  


 

Meet Vermin Supreme of New Hampshire. He has run for president of the U.S. several times, most recently in 2016. May run in 2020.

[dannylion]

Apr 27, 2019 17:58:55 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 27, 2019 14:55:32 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I think it's probably easier to be a full-time eccentric (or full-on bat-shit crazy) in a warm climate.  I would think that having to bundle up to go outside in cold weather would make it just not worth the effort.  I wonder if a large number of the folks who share their special weirdness with the world via the internet do so because they live in a cold climate and it's just too much bother to put on the winter gear and go outside to annoy people.  


 

Meet Vermin Supreme of New Hampshire. He has run for president of the U.S. several times, most recently in 2016. May run in 2020.

The Flori-duh thread is more about garden-variety weirdos whose exploits tend to end badly for themselves and maybe one or two others who have the misfortune to be associated with them in some way.  It's not really about the weapons-grade weirdness unleashed by politicians on the population as a whole.  Politicians are a whole other breed of weirdo.  

And if Vermin Supreme possesses the ability to communicate in complete sentences, even only briefly (regardless of what his message, if any, may be), he's as qualified as many of the "real" politicians currently or potentially in contention.  

I do have one question, though.  What is he wearing on his head?  

Seriously, just judging by the one picture, I almost think Mr. Supreme could be considered a tourist attraction.  

[Tennesseer]

Apr 27, 2019 18:09:33 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Apr 27, 2019 17:58:55 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Meet Vermin Supreme of New Hampshire. He has run for president of the U.S. several times, most recently in 2016. May run in 2020.

The Flori-duh thread is more about garden-variety weirdos whose exploits tend to end badly for themselves and maybe one or two others who have the misfortune to be associated with them in some way.  It's not really about the weapons-grade weirdness unleashed by politicians on the population as a whole.  Politicians are a whole other breed of weirdo.  

And if Vermin Supreme possesses the ability to communicate in complete sentences, even only briefly (regardless of what his message, if any, may be), he's as qualified as many of the "real" politicians currently or potentially in contention.  

I do have one question, though.  What is he wearing on his head?  

Seriously, just judging by the one picture, I almost think Mr. Supreme could be considered a tourist attraction.  

I brought up Mr. Supreme because you mentioned crazy people in the north. Crazy people are everywhere.

A rubber boot.

He is a tourist attraction.

[dannylion]

Ah!  I was right.  I thought that looked very much like a rubber boot, but the "foot" part didn't look quite right.  It's likely due to the angle at which the photo was taken.  


I never said weirdos only existed in warmer climates.  I merely speculated that warmer climates would have a higher demographic density of weirdos than places where it is more difficult to get out and, you know, be weird.  It takes a real dedication to one's particular brand of weird to practice it in a cold climate.  Mr. Supreme is clearly a hardy, motivated weirdo.  

[NancysSummerSip]

Apr 27, 2019 18:23:17 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Ah!  I was right.  I thought that looked very much like a rubber boot, but the "foot" part didn't look quite right.  It's likely due to the angle at which the photo was taken.  


I never said weirdos only existed in warmer climates.  I merely speculated that warmer climates would have a higher demographic density of weirdos than places where it is more difficult to get out and, you know, be weird.  It takes a real dedication to one's particular brand of weird to practice it in a cold climate.  Mr. Supreme is clearly a hardy, motivated weirdo.  

That's a boot? I thought it was the business end of a handheld vacuum cleaner. Would certainly make more sense. He's trying to draw in those alien vibes and all.

Then again, given what's in Washington, who's to say he doesn't make more sense with whatever headgear he's got?

[dannylion]

So, according to a news item now making the rounds, it seems that Mr. Supreme has, in fact, filed for the presidential primary in New Hampshire.  He is promising every American a pony and plans to defeat ISIS by going back in time.  The recent character of our political discourse makes this look comparatively rational.  

[toomuchreality]

Apr 29, 2019 21:40:00 GMT -5 dannylion said:

So, according to a news item now making the rounds, it seems that Mr. Supreme has, in fact, filed for the presidential primary in New Hampshire.  He is promising every American a pony and plans to defeat ISIS by going back in time.  The recent character of our political discourse makes this look comparatively rational.  

Sad, but true.  Almost funny. But not in a good way. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

apnews.com/1862f19d82c04e059368ae7d2ecc3507

PUNTA GORDA, Fla. (AP) — Sheriff’s officials say a Florida woman pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop.

The Charlotte County sheriff’s deputy stopped a pickup truck Monday afternoon after it ran a stop sign and 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons told him he and his 25-year-old passenger Ariel Machan-Le Quire were collecting frogs and snakes under an overpass. He gave the deputy permission to search bags in the truck.

When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in the woman’s backpack, he asked if she had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot (0.3-meter) gator from her yoga pants.

[NastyWoman]

Apr 27, 2019 14:10:57 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

It’s not just Florida. DS just called from DC. A naked man was riding a bicycle around the White House. Cops responded so he rode his bike through the barriers that cars can’t get through. I wish he’d have videoed it instead of calling me. He said it was hysterical!!

Ok. I know this is now old news, but I want to point out that if you are going to ride your bicycle around the WH past the barriers, doing it nekkid would be the sane thing to do → at least they can't shoot you and say they suspected you had hidden weapons on you