emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 24, 2017 8:39:28 GMT -5
I guess since this is going to all fall on you, the least those "helpful" family members could do is babysit her while you and I hope a helper start moving stuff into it" but unlikely. I'm afraid you'll have to deal with her while you're doing this. I'm so sorry. Luckily she doesn't need to be babysat. Her favorite activity is sleeping, so I don't need to worry about her in my hair. I'm going to hire a couple of guys to help. Hopefully by Monday, we can start to tackle the house and clean.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 24, 2017 9:18:05 GMT -5
I guess since this is going to all fall on you, the least those "helpful" family members could do is babysit her while you and I hope a helper start moving stuff into it" but unlikely. I'm afraid you'll have to deal with her while you're doing this. I'm so sorry. Luckily she doesn't need to be babysat. Her favorite activity is sleeping, so I don't need to worry about her in my hair. I'm going to hire a couple of guys to help. Hopefully by Monday, we can start to tackle the house and clean. Good for you.
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naughtybear
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Post by naughtybear on Mar 24, 2017 10:56:25 GMT -5
No it wasn't but I will say that the OP is trying to mitigate future disasters or having her mother live with her. So yes, sometimes we intervene for our own benefit. I don't see the OP doing much but trying to help with a solution to the best of their ability.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Mar 25, 2017 3:51:51 GMT -5
I guess since this is going to all fall on you, the least those "helpful" family members could do is babysit her while you and I hope a helper start moving stuff into it" but unlikely. I'm afraid you'll have to deal with her while you're doing this. I'm so sorry. Luckily she doesn't need to be babysat. Her favorite activity is sleeping, so I don't need to worry about her in my hair. I'm going to hire a couple of guys to help. Hopefully by Monday, we can start to tackle the house and clean. You may not be able to purge her "stuff," but I'd still throw out as much obvious trash and junk as you can. Good luck. I think you are going to need it. You mentioned she is willing to auction some of it. Don't wait on the favor, drop it off at the auction yourself. At least it will be gone and you will be done with it.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 25, 2017 15:21:24 GMT -5
Well we have 16ft POD packed full of stuff courtesy of a couple guys I hired. The garage is still very full, but the house itself looks like we might actually be able to get it sorted out sooner rather than later. The biggest issue now, well aside from the garage, is my mothers bedroom and master bathroom. My aunt and I agree that she needs to work on that herself, particularly after my aunt, a family friend, and I worked all day yesterday, plus all this morning while my mother hid in her room and slept.
I figured if if nothing else, even if my mothers bedroom remains a mess, that the rest of the house will show well. And to be honest, even if I cleaned it out and up, I suspect it wouldn't stay that way for more than an hour. She needs to have some skin in the game. I am hoping people will be able to look past the stuff in the garage.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 25, 2017 16:13:22 GMT -5
Is the stuff in the garage in boxes? That's pretty normal.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 25, 2017 19:28:40 GMT -5
Is the stuff in the garage in boxes? That's pretty normal. Sadly no. A lot of it is in plastic boxes. But, quite a bit isn't. But it's as good as we are going to get for the time being.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 25, 2017 19:42:27 GMT -5
Is the pod filled?
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Mar 25, 2017 20:26:17 GMT -5
You've made a lot of progress!
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 25, 2017 21:01:10 GMT -5
Pretty much. There was a lot of furniture. Multiple sofas, dining room sets, a bedroom set, and a host of chairs, occasional tables, bookcases, etc. it's not scheduled to be moved until Friday, so I'm sure we can fit more stuff in there. I just don't have the energy to deal with it at the moment. Im very glad I started working there last weekend. My aunt is coming back on Monday and is going to stay for several days, which I think will help a lot.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 25, 2017 21:43:29 GMT -5
Take the key with you.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Mar 27, 2017 11:42:09 GMT -5
Take the key with you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2017 19:23:33 GMT -5
Our realtor said it was OK for us to have stuff cluttering the garage; we did a pretty good job of getting rid of things we weren't taking with us and avoided paid storage completely. Congratulations on your progress!
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Mar 28, 2017 7:49:08 GMT -5
When old peoples houses are up for sale here unless its been decluttered before hand all kinds of junk is sitting around. If you have done the best you can, that is all you can do. Sounds like you have worked hard at it.
We have been through it twice. I thought moms house was full but I think his moms was worse and we still have only tackled the big stuff in the garage, not all the little junk. Mom cleaned out a lot after dad passed away. His mom did too but her sister drug stuff over that made hers stuffed up stairs.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 29, 2017 10:57:23 GMT -5
Our realtor said it was OK for us to have stuff cluttering the garage; we did a pretty good job of getting rid of things we weren't taking with us and avoided paid storage completely. Congratulations on your progress! That's good to know. I am not too worried about the garage. We basically have everything cleaned up except her bedroom. And she's responsible for that. The realtor comes by tomorrow to determine the final asking price and provide a last minute punch list. I told the realtor that a last minute punch list is a waste of everyone's time because my mother won't do it, my aunt leaves tomorrow, and I can't take any more time off work. At this point they just need to price the house to sell in it's current condition and get it listed. I think we've done all we can at this point. At least now if someone comes through the house for most the part they will be able to see the rooms. The POD got moved yesterday to storage, so she can't put anything else in it anyway. An auction company came out yesterday and took a bunch of stuff, and my aunt and I packed up a bunch of stuff while my mother was "resting" and took it to the salvation army.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Mar 29, 2017 12:26:03 GMT -5
An auction company came out yesterday and took a bunch of stuff, and my aunt and I packed up a bunch of stuff while my mother was "resting" and took it to the salvation army. You have done well in very trying circumstances .......... mega hugs
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 31, 2017 10:55:08 GMT -5
And another update. Realtor came by yesterday and has provided a punch list of items to be done before she will schedule the photographer (which was suppose to be this weekend, but is now not for two weeks). My mother didn't get her room cleaned up, and so I've told the realtor, that my biggest concern is that the rapid progress we have made will get undone as my mother is left in the house without someone pushing her to clean.
But, at this point, I'm pretty burned out. I'll go back over the weekend to clean, but I refuse to clean her bedroom. Parents expect their kids to clean their bedrooms by the time they are 7 or 8. I don't think it's unreasonable that I hold my 61 year old mother to the same standard as an 8 year old.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 31, 2017 10:59:09 GMT -5
And another update. Realtor came by yesterday and has provided a punch list of items to be done before she will schedule the photographer (which was suppose to be this weekend, but is now not for two weeks). My mother didn't get her room cleaned up, and so I've told the realtor, that my biggest concern is that the rapid progress we have made will get undone as my mother is left in the house without someone pushing her to clean. But, at this point, I'm pretty burned out. I'll go back over the weekend to clean, but I refuse to clean her bedroom. Parents expect their kids to clean their bedrooms by the time they are 7 or 8. I don't think it's unreasonable that I hold my 61 year old mother to the same standard as an 8 year old. Why won't the realtor just schedule the photographer? Don't photo the bedroom. The house doesn't have to be perfect to sell. The realtor works for you (or at least your mom), not the other way around. Some realtors really get hung up on how the place shows, but if its priced right it will sell regardless. I'd push back on the realtor.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 31, 2017 11:01:17 GMT -5
And another update. Realtor came by yesterday and has provided a punch list of items to be done before she will schedule the photographer (which was suppose to be this weekend, but is now not for two weeks). My mother didn't get her room cleaned up, and so I've told the realtor, that my biggest concern is that the rapid progress we have made will get undone as my mother is left in the house without someone pushing her to clean. But, at this point, I'm pretty burned out. I'll go back over the weekend to clean, but I refuse to clean her bedroom. Parents expect their kids to clean their bedrooms by the time they are 7 or 8. I don't think it's unreasonable that I hold my 61 year old mother to the same standard as an 8 year old. She's not going to do it. I'd clean it and her bathroom before the pictures if I were you. It's a pita but who wants to see dirt and clutter? Unless the photographer can photo shop it out.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 31, 2017 11:04:34 GMT -5
And another update. Realtor came by yesterday and has provided a punch list of items to be done before she will schedule the photographer (which was suppose to be this weekend, but is now not for two weeks). My mother didn't get her room cleaned up, and so I've told the realtor, that my biggest concern is that the rapid progress we have made will get undone as my mother is left in the house without someone pushing her to clean. But, at this point, I'm pretty burned out. I'll go back over the weekend to clean, but I refuse to clean her bedroom. Parents expect their kids to clean their bedrooms by the time they are 7 or 8. I don't think it's unreasonable that I hold my 61 year old mother to the same standard as an 8 year old. Yes, I know that thing. It called making it easier for the realtor to sell. I'm amazed she didn't ask you to put in hardwood floors and granite countertops. I had a realtor tell me that when I sold my last rental. I just laughed and then when she looked so startled at me laughing, I laughed some more.
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janee
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Post by janee on Mar 31, 2017 11:10:24 GMT -5
I agree to press the realtor a little. Sadly, I doubt your mother will clean her room. Can you hire a cleaning lady to come in for the heavy cleaning part and you just put stuff in boxes and put in the garage? That might advance the cause.
Good luck.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 31, 2017 11:10:29 GMT -5
And another update. Realtor came by yesterday and has provided a punch list of items to be done before she will schedule the photographer (which was suppose to be this weekend, but is now not for two weeks). My mother didn't get her room cleaned up, and so I've told the realtor, that my biggest concern is that the rapid progress we have made will get undone as my mother is left in the house without someone pushing her to clean. But, at this point, I'm pretty burned out. I'll go back over the weekend to clean, but I refuse to clean her bedroom. Parents expect their kids to clean their bedrooms by the time they are 7 or 8. I don't think it's unreasonable that I hold my 61 year old mother to the same standard as an 8 year old. She's not going to do it. I'd clean it and her bathroom before the pictures if I were you. It's a pita but who wants to see dirt and clutter? Unless the photographer can photo shop it out. I'm not cleaning her room. I've got the rest of the house to clean. I'm at the point now where I don't care if she gets less money for her house. I've done all I'm willing to do. And I feel that at least the rest of the house is clean enough that she'll get a reasonable price for it, even with a messy bedroom, rather than taking 30K haircut.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 31, 2017 11:16:18 GMT -5
I agree to press the realtor a little. Sadly, I doubt your mother will clean her room. Can you hire a cleaning lady to come in for the heavy cleaning part and you just put stuff in boxes and put in the garage? That might advance the cause.
Good luck. There is no room in the garage for boxes. And I really can't afford to hire a cleaning lady at this point and I don't have the energy to do it myself. Plus to be honest, if someone else cleans her room, it's just going to end up being dirty again by the time it goes back on the market. Because she won't keep it clean. I'm being stubborn, I know. I"m just over it now.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 31, 2017 11:21:00 GMT -5
I agree to press the realtor a little. Sadly, I doubt your mother will clean her room. Can you hire a cleaning lady to come in for the heavy cleaning part and you just put stuff in boxes and put in the garage? That might advance the cause.
Good luck. There is no room in the garage for boxes. And I really can't afford to hire a cleaning lady at this point and I don't have the energy to do it myself. Plus to be honest, if someone else cleans her room, it's just going to end up being dirty again by the time it goes back on the market. Because she won't keep it clean. I'm being stubborn, I know. I"m just over it now Cant a family member do it? At least before the pictures? Is your mom on meds for depression?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 31, 2017 11:21:30 GMT -5
I saw a house listed that looked like a scene from Silent Hill on the inside and it still managed to sell. I think your realtor can sell the house without professional photos of the bedroom.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Mar 31, 2017 11:25:55 GMT -5
Can you put in the listing that when the house sells, it will be professionally cleaned after your mom moves out? Maybe that might get around this a bit, and take some of the burden off your shoulders.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 31, 2017 11:51:18 GMT -5
There is no room in the garage for boxes. And I really can't afford to hire a cleaning lady at this point and I don't have the energy to do it myself. Plus to be honest, if someone else cleans her room, it's just going to end up being dirty again by the time it goes back on the market. Because she won't keep it clean. I'm being stubborn, I know. I"m just over it now Cant a family member do it? At least before the pictures? Is your mom on meds for depression? The only family member willing to help her was my aunt, who has left to go back home (she lives several hours away), and she like me it at the point of burn out. And my mother's been on anti-depressants for years. And the lack of help from other family is really a consequence of her own behavior. I don't blame any of them for not being willing to help her. I wouldn't help her if I were in their shoes.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 31, 2017 11:52:55 GMT -5
Can you put in the listing that when the house sells, it will be professionally cleaned after your mom moves out? Maybe that might get around this a bit, and take some of the burden off your shoulders. That is a good suggestion, and one that if I was a buyer I'd request. I will talk to her realtor about if we can communicate that (at least in the MLS notes, even if it's not in the public listing).
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Apr 16, 2017 17:05:36 GMT -5
Update! The house is on the market. While the house is dated it's clean and declutterd. The realtor also listed it 20k higher than we anticipated. So the hard work paid off. Now if my mother would consistently allow showings we'd be in better shape. Right now she's declining about half of the showing requests. It's a good thing she's selling in a sellers market.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Apr 16, 2017 21:14:35 GMT -5
Glad to hear the house is on the market, & at a good price. I know you can't control your Mom, but strongly encourage her to allow ALL showing requests. The longer the house is on the market, the lower the selling price goes. Good luck!
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