emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Mar 22, 2017 11:09:41 GMT -5
I'm not sure if this is a vent or a request for suggestions. Perhaps a little of both.
My mother and I have a fairly limited relationship. I find her to be a relative toxic personality to be around for number of reasons. However, now she's gotten herself into a situation where it's now in my best interest to help her.
In the 1990's, she and my grandmother built a house together, with a built in mother's suite. The idea of building this house was so that my grandmother could age in place and not have to go into a nursing home when the time came (or at least delay that as long as possible). At the time the house was built it was paid for in cash, and was put in my mother's name. About 3 years ago my mother went onto SSDI, and the only way that she could hold onto the house was to use all of my grandmother's income to supplement her SSDI payment, as my mother had taken out a mortgage on the house in the intervening years (personally, I'd argue that she didn't need all of my grandmother's income, but I suspect that she needed at least a third to a half to cover the mortgage, utilities, insurance, tax, etc.).
A month ago my grandmother was moved into a nursing home. Of course that means that all of the income tied to my grandmother goes to the nursing home now. So my mother left with some modest savings and her SSDI payment. She can no longer afford to stay in her home and she must sell it as soon as possible.
The problem is of course, that the house is crammed full of stuff. A prime example is her dining room. She has a dining table and six chairs, plus a love seat, plus a china cabinet, plus about 20 boxes of stuff, in a dining room that is probably 10 x 10. She has met with a realtor who has told her that she must clear all the extra crap out of the house if she hopes to sell it for a decent price in a timely fashion. My mother understands this in theory, but she just doesn't seem to understand that clearing out the stuff doesn't mean reorganizing it. It is critical that she sells this house ASAP. She cannot afford to stay in the house for more than a few months without getting behind her mortgage and potentially going into foreclosure.
She has enough equity in her house to buy something else much smaller free and clear. But, that only works if she sells her current house. However, I can't seem to get her to grasp the reality of her situation. She must clean up the house. It must be sold. Or she will be homeless. She has one friend who might allow her to stay with him for a few weeks, but she could not stay with him long-term. Her credit is such that I think it would be challenging for her find a rental apartment, and even if she did, the rent would eat into her savings and any equity she had to buy a house (in this area buying is a much better move than renting).
So does anyone have any suggestions about how to get a parent to get on board with clearing out and selling their home? My mother says all the right things, but actions speak louder than words, and she's made very little progress. Her home was suppose to go on the market next week. I've spend days working there, as has a friend of hers, and my aunt has come up for the week to help her. And yet, as of right now I don't see there being any possibility that her house will be ready to go on the market in 2017 let alone next week. I'm now panicking...and I'd welcome any suggestions from anyone who's been there done that!
|
|
busymom
Distinguished Associate
Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:09:36 GMT -5
Posts: 29,250
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IPauJ5.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0D317F
Mini-Profile Text Color: 0D317F
|
Post by busymom on Mar 22, 2017 11:31:21 GMT -5
For the short term, I'd suggest renting storage space, & putting all of the extra stuff there. (You can rent people to simply fill boxes & load them onto a truck. Don't ask me how I know this.) Obviously, it is harder because your mom is right THERE. Purging out my parent's house, sadly, was a lot easier after Mom had to be moved into an assisted-living complex, because she wasn't standing over me & telling me something was "too good" to get rid of.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,161
|
Post by giramomma on Mar 22, 2017 11:32:43 GMT -5
Can you call Adult Protective services and have someone talk to her?
Maybe she listen/follow through if it weren't family that was going to tell her like it is?
|
|
dannylion
Junior Associate
Gravity is a harsh mistress
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 12:17:52 GMT -5
Posts: 5,214
Location: Miles over the madness horizon and accelerating
|
Post by dannylion on Mar 22, 2017 11:34:08 GMT -5
This is likely not going to be something you can do on your own without lots of help. It sounds like your mother isn't going to do more than talk about getting things done, and friends and relatives have probably done all they can or will do. There are people who do this sort of thing as a business. Find them and hire one.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,161
|
Post by giramomma on Mar 22, 2017 11:36:33 GMT -5
Otherwise, you still can't "make" another adult do anything, try as you might.
In your situation, I'd probably try do the legwork on housing. See if there's any low income housing she would qualify for because of her disability..Would Senior housing work?
I'd also call up Catholic Charities, the United Way, and Luthern Social Services. Explain the situation and see what help your mom can get.
Then I'd present the best 3 options to your mom and let her pick. That's all you can do, really..
I'd also be very clear about your boundaries.
|
|
Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
Posts: 13,494
|
Post by Tiny on Mar 22, 2017 11:43:36 GMT -5
Just an aside: maybe your mother understands that she has to "clean up" her home but is overwhelmed by what that actually means... She sees she has to eat an Elephant but can't comprehend how to do it (and so has become immobilized) OR is so stressed by how "long" it will take and how "hopeless" it seems (and so has become immobilized).
Can you help her by more or less "telling her what to do exactly"?
You know the old "three pile" thing - 1 pile of stuff to keep, 1 pile of stuff to give away, 1 pile of trash. Everything must be sorted into a pile.
And tell her WHERE to take the "give away" stuff or who will come to take the "give away" stuff.
Maybe you need to help her find a "place" to start making the pile(s) (or bags/boxes).
Maybe you need to have her start in a room (or closet) that's not so cluttered? Once that room is de-cluttered it can be the "hold area" for the clean out of the next area?
It's a little intimidating when faced with a life time's worth of 'stuff'.
|
|
sesfw
Junior Associate
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 15:45:17 GMT -5
Posts: 6,268
|
Post by sesfw on Mar 22, 2017 11:45:25 GMT -5
For the short term, I'd suggest renting storage space, & putting all of the extra stuff there.
To me this sounds like the best solution. This way you can re-assure your mom that she still owns everything, but it's in storage until she has another home to put it in.
Throw things in boxes and into a storage unit. If she has things that can go into recycling (old magazines, etc) ..... quietly place them in a special box and on the way to storage they get side tracked. Same with things that are obviously trash.
I've had to help clean out several homes and I know it's a tough job. A lot easier when the person involved isn't there.
|
|
Gardening Grandma
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:39:46 GMT -5
Posts: 17,962
|
Post by Gardening Grandma on Mar 22, 2017 11:45:34 GMT -5
So does anyone have any suggestions about how to get a parent to get on board with clearing out and selling their home? My mother says all the right things, but actions speak louder than words, and she's made very little progress. Her home was suppose to go on the market next week. I've spend days working there, as has a friend of hers, and my aunt has come up for the week to help her. And yet, as of right now I don't see there being any possibility that her house will be ready to go on the market in 2017 let alone next week. I'm now panicking...and I'd welcome any suggestions from anyone who's been there done that!
This pretty much describes my late MIL's situation (other than the financial aspect). Lived in the same house 40 years. Determined to stay there. House was stuffed from attic to basement. She (depression era upbringing) refused to throw anything away. when the time came for her to move into an adult family home (She eventually needed 24x7 care), she could not bring herself to make any decisions.
It fell to me, DH, BIL and SIL to deal. We took the furniture and put it into storage, ditto her clothes and dishes & personal stuff. Then hauled truckloads to the (even thrift stores didn't want it). Took the 4 of us about 2 weeks. Fortunately she had the funds to pay the storage bill.
actions speak louder than words, and she's made very little progress.
I suspect she is in denial. Wish I had a helpful suggestion
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Mar 22, 2017 11:45:42 GMT -5
Otherwise, you still can't "make" another adult do anything, try as you might. In your situation, I'd probably try do the legwork on housing. See if there's any low income housing she would qualify for because of her disability..Would Senior housing work? I'd also call up Catholic Charities, the United Way, and Luthern Social Services. Explain the situation and see what help your mom can get. Then I'd present the best 3 options to your mom and let her pick. That's all you can do, really.. I'd also be very clear about your boundaries. These are good suggestions. APS has already been involved which led to my grandmother being moved to a nursing home. And I've checked low income senior housing, and even if she spent down her savings to qualify there is a six to nine month waiting list to get into a unit in my area. The biggest issue that she has is that she doesn't have much money. Or at least not that she is willing to part with. Her realtor suggested hiring someone to help her pack and renting a storage unit, but she won't do it because she can't afford it.
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Mar 22, 2017 11:56:09 GMT -5
Just an aside: maybe your mother understands that she has to "clean up" her home but is overwhelmed by what that actually means... She sees she has to eat an Elephant but can't comprehend how to do it (and so has become immobilized) OR is so stressed by how "long" it will take and how "hopeless" it seems (and so has become immobilized).
Can you help her by more or less "telling her what to do exactly"?
You know the old "three pile" thing - 1 pile of stuff to keep, 1 pile of stuff to give away, 1 pile of trash. Everything must be sorted into a pile.
And tell her WHERE to take the "give away" stuff or who will come to take the "give away" stuff.
Maybe you need to help her find a "place" to start making the pile(s) (or bags/boxes).
Maybe you need to have her start in a room (or closet) that's not so cluttered? Once that room is de-cluttered it can be the "hold area" for the clean out of the next area?
It's a little intimidating when faced with a life time's worth of 'stuff'. I've tried with mixed results. For example, over the weekend we went through some of her kitchen cabinets. She had three flan dishes (she has multiples of everything). But, while I could get her to part with one of them, she felt that she needed the other two. I doesn't matter that she hasn't made a flan in more than 20 years. It doesn't matter that a new kitchen will less than half the size. She won't let go. And I'm sure it is overwhelming. But, she's also known that things were going in this direction for at least the last six months. And she didn't start to tackle anything. I do think the storage container option is a good one. That is something I can afford to pay for myself. And we could load up the crap and at least get it out of the house.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,161
|
Post by giramomma on Mar 22, 2017 11:56:47 GMT -5
I suspect she is in denial. Wish I had a helpful suggestion It could also be a control issue, too.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,161
|
Post by giramomma on Mar 22, 2017 11:58:22 GMT -5
I've tried with mixed results. For example, over the weekend we went through some of her kitchen cabinets. She had three flan dishes (she has multiples of everything). But, while I could get her to part with one of them, she felt that she needed the other two. I doesn't matter that she hasn't made a flan in more than 20 years. It doesn't matter that a new kitchen will less than half the size. She won't let go. And I'm sure it is overwhelming. But, she's also known that things were going in this direction for at least the last six months. And she didn't start to tackle anything. I do think the storage container option is a good one. That is something I can afford to pay for myself. And we could load up the crap and at least get it out of the house. Would your mom see a therapist? Do you have any POA for her noted in wills?
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Mar 22, 2017 11:58:28 GMT -5
I suspect she is in denial. Wish I had a helpful suggestion It could also be a control issue, too. I am sure that it is. And I think some of this is because she believes I won't allow her to go homeless (and she's not really wrong about that). So I think in her mind she always has a back-up.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,110
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 22, 2017 12:01:25 GMT -5
I'd put everything in storage and get her house sold and her moved. After she is settled start little by little purging the storage unit. Unless she's going to be driving out there to check on all her stuff regularly you could probably manage to get rid of quite a bit and lie about it still being in storage.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,161
|
Post by giramomma on Mar 22, 2017 12:02:29 GMT -5
It could be that I'm needing a Hoarders fix..but your mom's behavior just reminds me of it.
People on that show...some are willing to lose their homes just to stay in control.
My mom was willing to lose me and her only grandkids so she could be in control of our relationship..
When folks chose a course of action that most of us would go "um, no." too...There's a bigger underlying issue at hand...Unfortunately, nothing will get solved until the underlying one does.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,161
|
Post by giramomma on Mar 22, 2017 12:04:48 GMT -5
It could also be a control issue, too. I am sure that it is. And I think some of this is because she believes I won't allow her to go homeless (and she's not really wrong about that). So I think in her mind she always has a back-up. Then you need to be clear about your boundaries with your mother. Whatever you decide you need to do with regards to her is fine. But, you have to make it clear, that's only what you are doing. And you have to stick with it. I was waiting to suggest to you to see someone to help you work through this. I'm going to suggest that now, that you have a therapist help you navigate all of this.
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,591
|
Post by Tennesseer on Mar 22, 2017 12:25:08 GMT -5
Hire a home stager. Maybe your mom might listen to someone who is not a relative. And have the home stager be very frank with your mother.
|
|
haapai
Junior Associate
Character
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:40:06 GMT -5
Posts: 5,986
|
Post by haapai on Mar 22, 2017 12:37:56 GMT -5
I don't have any helpful suggestions but I do think that your analysis of the situation is very sound and well presented.
She must clean up the house. It must be sold. Or she will be homeless.
I've been involved in a similar situation but I was not successful at getting the person facing homelessness to do much of anything. Like you, I was hearing all the right things, but if I walked away, absolutely nothing got done. I landed up renting a storage unit, grabbing stuff that would otherwise land up on the curb after an eviction, and slowly emptied the house one subcompact load at a time. It took months to get the house more presentable.
ETA: I did no sorting or evaluation or labeling, just hauling.
I wish that I had a better solution than doing it all yourself/working around the paralyzed person.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 15,024
|
Post by raeoflyte on Mar 22, 2017 12:43:40 GMT -5
My mom has emotional attachment to all kinds of things and just can't let them go. She can't let paperwork go without going through it, even if its from the 50's. Sure some of it might be interesting, but none of it is needed kwim?
She has taken the path of boxing stuff up and putting it in storage. She has "my" garage (I bought the house from them at a huge discount, so I'm not being taken advantage of at all in this situation), and is filling up 2 very large sheds on her property with stuff from my grandmothers.
It's actually pretty ideal. She gets to go through stuff at her own pace, and she doesn't have to get rid of anything she doesn't want to. Everything she does part with is a big win, and their living space is open and uncluttered.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 22, 2017 12:44:00 GMT -5
I'm not going to lie, I have a much stronger personality than my mother (we have always had a parent/child relationship except I'm the parent). She will fight me but in the end I do what needs to be done. If this were me, my mom would have two weeks to pick out what she thought she absolutely needed to keep. the last week I would go through the stuff with her. At the end of two weeks, a dumpster is coming and the shit is going. I don't know if that is an option or even something you would consider. With my mom, that is what I have to do (whether it is medical tests, taking her car when she should no longer be driving, etc).
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Mar 22, 2017 12:45:07 GMT -5
It could be that I'm needing a Hoarders fix..but your mom's behavior just reminds me of it. People on that show...some are willing to lose their homes just to stay in control. My mom was willing to lose me and her only grandkids so she could be in control of our relationship.. When folks chose a course of action that most of us would go "um, no." too...There's a bigger underlying issue at hand...Unfortunately, nothing will get solved until the underlying one does. I'm sorry about your mom. It sucks, but you have to put yourself first. My mother is like some of those patients on My 600lb life who want to control everything and everyone in their life. They hate their life, they feel trapped and helpless, but some of them just refuse to acknowledge that their weight is a direct result of their choices. Because she refuses to take responsibility for anything in her life. Her situation is a direct result of her own choices, but in her mind she's an innocent victim who the universe is punishing (which she has actually said to be before), so I think she tries to exert control in other ways. Although I don't think she always knows she's doing it. I find it particularly difficult to deal with her attitude about it all, because I'm the exact opposite. I see most things that occur in my life as a result of my choices. I've had some luck along the way, and I've had some set-backs that I couldn't control. But, most are a direct result of the choices that I have made. You are right about me setting boundaries. I had them well set, but this situation has changed things. I need to re-examine that.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Mar 22, 2017 12:57:48 GMT -5
Your mom has no idea where she is going to be, so I can understand why she cannot choose now for something she may need in her future home.
I very much agree with packing as much up as you can and putting it into a storage unit. Get the house sold and a new one purchased. When she is settling into her new house, she can pull from the storage unit as for the room she has to work with in her new home. When it is apparent that she can't fit 3 flan dishes in her cabinet, she'll be more willing to get rid of them.
My MIL recently downsized from a 2800 sq ft house to a 900 sq ft condo. We got a lot of her stuff....a LOT of books, china, sterling silver, paintings, lamps, etc. I've found places for everything but her china and the books, and we' are going to have to buy more bookcases to handle them. The china I'm pretty clueless about as there is simply no more room on the shelves.
Add to this that we have not even gone back to NY for me to get the stuff that I was willed from my dad's house......we're already stuffed!
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 22, 2017 13:03:38 GMT -5
(Had to Google up an image of a flan dish )
|
|
GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
|
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Mar 22, 2017 13:14:57 GMT -5
The storage unit would only delay the inevitable. You do know that emptying the unit will ultimately become your job, right?
See if taking pictures of things (like the second unused flan dish) would suffice. Some folks attach memories and hopes to objects and need the objects as visual reminders. Pictures are visual, but fit on a hard drive, not a storage unit.
|
|
GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
|
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Mar 22, 2017 13:17:02 GMT -5
Also, what's the yard sale market like there? If you had a "test" sale one Saturday and she made some (much-needed) cash, would it motivate her?
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,110
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 22, 2017 13:17:24 GMT -5
The storage unit would only delay the inevitable. You do know that emptying the unit will ultimately become your job, right? See if taking pictures of things (like the second unused flan dish) would suffice. Some folks attach memories and hopes to objects and need the objects as visual reminders. Pictures are visual, but fit on a hard drive, not a storage unit. That reminds me of the episode where Spongebob turned into a hoarder. Sqiudward convinces him to take pictures of everything. When Patrick opens the door thousands of photos fly out of the house. I nee to watch more adult TV.
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Mar 22, 2017 13:29:55 GMT -5
Also, what's the yard sale market like there? If you had a "test" sale one Saturday and she made some (much-needed) cash, would it motivate her? Unfortunately, she currently lives in a neighborhood where yard sales can only be held during the yearly subdivision yard sale (which isn't until May, I think). And the storage unit is just delaying the inevitable. But, I do think it will be easier to deal with a Pod or storage unit than the situation I have right now. She's not opposed to some things going to auction (because she thinks she will make some money), but she refuses to pay for the auction company to come out and is waiting for a favor from someone she knows who works there. That is all well and good, but you can't count on someone to do you a favor. She is willing to get rid of my grandmother's furniture and stuff. So I think worse case is that a storage unit gets filled and then I call the junk people. Or it gets parked outside of her new place and she gets a timeline to empty it out of the stuff she wants. My biggest priority right now is to get her house on the market.
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,622
|
Post by swamp on Mar 22, 2017 13:33:00 GMT -5
Otherwise, you still can't "make" another adult do anything, try as you might. In your situation, I'd probably try do the legwork on housing. See if there's any low income housing she would qualify for because of her disability..Would Senior housing work? I'd also call up Catholic Charities, the United Way, and Luthern Social Services. Explain the situation and see what help your mom can get. Then I'd present the best 3 options to your mom and let her pick. That's all you can do, really.. I'd also be very clear about your boundaries. These are good suggestions. APS has already been involved which led to my grandmother being moved to a nursing home. And I've checked low income senior housing, and even if she spent down her savings to qualify there is a six to nine month waiting list to get into a unit in my area. The biggest issue that she has is that she doesn't have much money. Or at least not that she is willing to part with. Her realtor suggested hiring someone to help her pack and renting a storage unit, but she won't do it because she can't afford it. a foreclosure will take at least a year. get on the senior housing list. she will probably get into housing before the foreclosure finishes. keep cleaning while she's waiting. let the house and the stuff go.
she can only save herself.
|
|
cronewitch
Junior Associate
I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
Posts: 5,979
|
Post by cronewitch on Mar 22, 2017 13:45:58 GMT -5
I am evil, I would put things in storage then have the storage unit broken into and robbed. When ISO moved into my house in 1986 he rented storage for his stuff, they took his couch and a bunch of other junk, so we fit his stuff into my house. He saved 30 years storage rental to store beat up old furniture. Mom had 3 yard sales then gave things to anyone who wanted them, she went from a 3 bedroom home she had been in to 4 rooms with no kitchen. Her stuff didn't sell for much and nobody wanted the sentimental things. Some things she thought were wonderful nobody else did. A vacuum cleaner she had for about 40 years had a man looking at it at the yard sale, I gave it to him to make it go away. Mom had a box of kitchen junk and told her boyfriend to ask a dollar when he helped with the yard sale, he sold the entire box for a dollar, she meant a dollar each piece, oh well, gone now. You might start with getting her to give things to people who love them, your friend who wants to start making flan for example would love a flan dish but can't afford one. Mom gave her dining set to her cousin she didn't really know because he wanted it. Giving to grandchildren leaving home or for the future is something old woman like to do, then they trash the treasures.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Mar 22, 2017 13:48:45 GMT -5
Can you try doing this in a different order? Has she shopped for the new place yet? If not, I'd figure out the equity on the guesstimation of what she'd get when an organized clean house sells and what she'd get from the house not done. Maybe the realtor could work the numbers up for you so she'd have a more objective view point (and may actually listen).
Then I'd take her condo/house shopping for what that equity and her monthly income affords her. Maybe when she sees the crappy places she may end up with that will motivate her to do this.
If it were my mother (thankfully mine wasn't like that at all but DH is) I'd just hire some people to clean all the crap out and take it to the and then hire a cleaning crew to come in. It would be cheaper than a storage unit to hold all her useless stuff. I'd advise the crew (after marking the items with bright pink stickies) to leave furniture and the boxes that I've marked and take everything else. I don't have patience for crap like that though. I'm a take charge "You WILL do this or I will. Your choice." kind of person.
|
|