Slowly Going Back Into Debt (Update/Trigger Warning #420)

[justme]

Dec 14, 2016 16:45:52 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Dec 14, 2016 10:27:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

House was appraised yesterday.  We'll see what it comes in at.   It is possible that depending on what the house is worth plus our 5% down may land us at 20% equity or get us pretty close.   Everyone is thinking the $65k my parents are charging is really low for our property.  

We should at least come in at $65k at any rate.  It may take us replacing the siding before we hit the magical 20% mark and can drop PMI.

What the house appraised at doesn't affect the 20% equity required not to have PMI.  That is based on 20% of the purchase price.  At least that is the way it was explained to me when I purchased this house.

Also, you will likely owe federal taxes on the bond in April.  If they didn't withhold for you, you may want to keep that in the back of your mind so you won't be surprised. 

I hate unhappy surprises.  

That's how mine was done a year ago. But the difference between the two was around 3,000 which equated to about 2% of the purchase price.

Though it seems odd because when you refinance it's loan vs appraised value.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

According got bankrate pmi can be dropped once you hit 20% based on the original appraisal value and that's how our lender explained it to me.

We're in a unique position where it's possible what my parents are wanting may be quite a bit less than the house is currently valued. It was at $63K when my grandma bought it over a decade ago. There hasn't been a recent appraisal since.

We certainly won't come in less than $65K. Lawyer, bank and insurance company all think it'll appraise for more.

We'll see what happens I guess. We should be getting the appraisal report in a few days.

[sealy]

Dec 8, 2016 15:34:59 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

I don't really know the back story.  But it doesn't sound like you're spending like a drunken sailor on women and wine.   Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you need to do things that you'd rather not do.  Hang in there and try not to let the financial stress pile on with whatever else you're dealing with right now. 

Ditto. You are making the best of a difficult situation. hugs and good thoughts coming your way.

[NastyWoman]

Dec 14, 2016 13:16:56 GMT -5 swamp said:

Dec 14, 2016 11:41:48 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Did you work hard given that lucky opportunity?

absolutely.  I was not about to fuck up an opportunity like that that was basically handed to me on a silver platter.   I realized how fortunate I was to get that opportunity.    The man who hired me is a stand up guy who has been a career mentor for me.  I am forever grateful to him, and I pay it forward when I can, and will continue to do so.

 after almost two decades out of the workforce I started my job hunt at age 48 as a new (again) college grad in 2016 2000 At that time the job market was so hot around here that just being able to "fog up a mirror" and having some basic skills was enough to get a job offer. So I was hired , I took that opportunity and ran with it → 5 promotions later after working in various fields in this company I make a 6-figure salary. I worked my butt off for those promotions but had the job market been different all those years ago I would never had the chance to prove what I could do. Now it didn't hurt that I graduated summa sum  laude and am a polyglot → yet despite that I had definitely significantly fewer interviews than my much younger fellow graduates.  So it really all started out with luck, and I don't believe the job market today would offer me that same opportunity.

[Works4me]

Dec 14, 2016 21:15:53 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Dec 14, 2016 13:16:56 GMT -5 swamp said:

absolutely.  I was not about to fuck up an opportunity like that that was basically handed to me on a silver platter.   I realized how fortunate I was to get that opportunity.    The man who hired me is a stand up guy who has been a career mentor for me.  I am forever grateful to him, and I pay it forward when I can, and will continue to do so.

 after almost two decades out of the workforce I started my job hunt at age 48 as a new (again) college grad in 2016. At that time the job market was so hot around here that just being able to "fog up a mirror" and having some basic skills was enough to get a job offer. So I was hired , I took that opportunity and ran with it → 5 promotions later after working in various fields in this company I make a 6-figure salary. I worked my butt off for those promotions but had the job market been different all those years ago I would never had the chance to prove what I could do. Now it didn't hurt that I graduated summa sum  laude and am a polyglot → yet despite that I had definitely significantly fewer interviews than my much younger fellow graduates.  So it really all started out with luck, and I don't believe the job market today would offer me that same opportunity.

Seriously confused - 2016 grad and hired butbthen mention "all those years ago" - can you please clarify as women reinventing themselves is a topic I am very interested in.

[NastyWoman]

Dec 14, 2016 21:55:48 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Dec 14, 2016 21:15:53 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

 after almost two decades out of the workforce I started my job hunt at age 48 as a new (again) college grad in 2016. At that time the job market was so hot around here that just being able to "fog up a mirror" and having some basic skills was enough to get a job offer. So I was hired , I took that opportunity and ran with it → 5 promotions later after working in various fields in this company I make a 6-figure salary. I worked my butt off for those promotions but had the job market been different all those years ago I would never had the chance to prove what I could do. Now it didn't hurt that I graduated summa sum  laude and am a polyglot → yet despite that I had definitely significantly fewer interviews than my much younger fellow graduates.  So it really all started out with luck, and I don't believe the job market today would offer me that same opportunity.

Seriously confused - 2016 grad and hired butbthen mention "all those years ago" - can you please clarify as women reinventing themselves is a topic I am very interested in.

Oops that was supposed to be 2000. I also know that the word between summa and laude starts with a "c" but our auto correct feature made that interesting. And I'll be damned before I claim to have graduated with the highest male baby making  materials honors.
I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!

[CCL]

Dec 14, 2016 20:16:41 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

According got bankrate pmi can be dropped once you hit 20% based on the original appraisal value and that's how our lender explained it to me.

We're in a unique position where it's possible what my parents are wanting may be quite a bit less than the house is currently valued. It was at $63K when my grandma bought it over a decade ago. There hasn't been a recent appraisal since.

We certainly won't come in less than $65K. Lawyer, bank and insurance company all think it'll appraise for more.

We'll see what happens I guess. We should be getting the appraisal report in a few days.

IME, appraisals have always come in very close to the selling price. Good luck with yours. It sounds like everything is starting to come together for you.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Dec 14, 2016 13:04:40 GMT -5 Pants said:

Dec 14, 2016 9:45:11 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Nobody said that but whatever. If i say the sky is blue some of will interpret that to mean that I hate red. Lol

At some point, a person might wonder why that is. 

I'm the only person who can control myself. Therefore, I've asked myself why someone would keep acting/posting that way.

I've concluded the goal is to goad reactions. I've also decided to not react anymore. 

[muttleynfelix]

Dec 14, 2016 23:47:12 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Dec 14, 2016 13:04:40 GMT -5 Pants said:

At some point, a person might wonder why that is. 

I'm the only person who can control myself. Therefore, I've asked myself why someone would keep acting/posting that way.

I've concluded the goal is to goad reactions. I've also decided to not react anymore. 

This reminds me of my goal setting this year. I was having trouble getting the results I was expecting out of people so I set a goal to be a better communicator. My manager asked if it was something I was doing or if other people were just not listening. I told her it didn't matter if it was my fault or not, I needed different results so I needed to refine what I was doing to make that happen.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Dec 14, 2016 23:47:12 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Dec 14, 2016 13:04:40 GMT -5 Pants said:

At some point, a person might wonder why that is. 

I'm the only person who can control myself. Therefore, I've asked myself why someone would keep acting/posting that way.

I've concluded the goal is to goad reactions. I've also decided to not react anymore. 

I find that the blocking feature assists nicely in helping me to not react.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Perspective kicked in today.

BFF had to cancel our plans. Boyfriend has the car for work. She has to spend the morning figuring out how to pay rent.

I can say that while we may have road bumps we can still pay all our bills (even if we float a couple at times lately).

We left constantly worrying about filling the tank and making rent back in our 20s.

We could be doing A LOT better but also a hell of a lot worse. I got a kick in the pants today that I needed.

[TheOtherMe]

Sorry about your friend.  I need to read things like this to make me feel better about my own situation. 

I remember when I was a kid, mom told me she always paid the mortgage first and then food and utilities.  We didn't have a lot extra, but we didn't know the difference.  I never knew how much my parents struggled when I was a kid.  Only after we were adults did I find that out. 

By the way, their mortgage was $60.  Every payment was made on time for 30 years.  After that, they paid cash for their subsequent homes.

[suesinfl]

Dec 15, 2016 18:29:10 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Perspective kicked in today.

BFF had to cancel our plans. Boyfriend has the car for work. She has to spend the morning figuring out how to pay rent.

I can say that while we may have road bumps we can still pay all our bills (even if we float a couple at times lately).

We left constantly worrying about filling the tank and making rent back in our 20s.

We could be doing A LOT better but also a hell of a lot worse. I got a kick in the pants today that I needed.

Drama, sorry about your friend, but that is exactly what I was talking about up thread. When I start get depressed, I have to remind myself that my live could be a lot worse and then I see something that kicks me in the pants. It makes me change my way of thinking.

[seriousthistime]

Dec 13, 2016 22:54:19 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Dec 13, 2016 22:36:38 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

It totally depends on the hospital.  I'm located right between two major ones.  One will let you do payments and the other requires payment in full with almost no exceptions.

Blood from a stone. If you don't have it what are they going to do? Set up a payment plan or risk you declaring bk.

It is much harder to file bankruptcy these days.  And if you've filed within the past X years, you can't file again until those X years have passed.  As people wait for months or years before they can file again, their wages can be garnished. That's a definite "ouch."  For people with chronic, serious health issues, it's not unusual to file multiple bankruptcies over the course of a life.  

[seriousthistime]

Dec 13, 2016 16:40:01 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

And some of you here don't know the difference between "being on a high horse" as opposed to "being obnoxious".  Ohhhh - you were just being nice!  Oops.    

Well said.  

[shanendoah]

I am well aware that people have it worse than I do in many ways, and I try to be cognizant of that. But sometimes, a girl just has to let herself feel down for a bit. (Even my therapists say I should allow myself small breakdowns along the way, to prevent a massive one.)

I remain incredibly grateful for this board and the support I get here. Thank you all, again.

[3catslady]

TheOtherMe:  Your statement about your Mother always paying the rent first reminds me of the TV show "I Remember Mama".  I always loved that show.

[yogiii]

Dec 12, 2016 23:19:33 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Dec 12, 2016 15:06:27 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I think part of the issue is YM tips towards the "1%"    If I compare myself to the world I actually live in then my situation looks A LOT different.

I have to take breaks from the boards because I start to compare myself and get depressed because no matter what I do I will never measure up.

It's "keeping up with the Joneses" only instead of wanting a bigger better car like my neighbors I am comparing my retirement savings.

Which in some ways is a GOOD thing, in other ways it seriously skews my perspective when bad things happen.    DH keeps reminding me that we could have been and could be A LOT worse off than we are and the fact that I am so good with our money is why we'll eventually bounce back.

this is such an unfair statement!

You keep bashing the board and keep making snarky comments about "YM ways", but there have been so many people on the old and current board who were open and honest about their struggles and how unpredictable life is.

And if there is a "be prepared for life" advice that goes around - how is that a terrible thing??

Yes, there is certainly some judgment going on, but so what??  If you are confident in your choices - don't pay attention to the judgment part.  Pay attention to the wealth of experiences and information and solutions that have been offered on here on pretty much every topic imaginable. 

And for the record - the board has been very VERY supportive of you, compared to many many other posters.  And yet, you repeatedly keep pointing out the flows of "YM way"

It's similar to the healthy food threads and other threads.  I don't know if it is a defense mechanism but people try to give ideas and suddenly everyone is "weird".

[Sam_2.0]

Just reading through - thanks for sharing your stories. Its been quite encouraging for me as we've taken a flying leap off the YM wagon lately. Our debt level is now back to what it was 6 years ago. I feel like such a failure. But we don't have any late payments yet, so there's a plus. We've been able to juggle through so far. I just REALLY need DH to get paid. He hasn't been since Aug really, just a couple little things here & there that have kept him afloat. But no contributions to the family pot. Ughghg. January needs to hurry up & get here!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Dec 18, 2016 12:55:05 GMT -5 seriousthistime said:

Dec 13, 2016 22:54:19 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Blood from a stone. If you don't have it what are they going to do? Set up a payment plan or risk you declaring bk.

It is much harder to file bankruptcy these days.  And if you've filed within the past X years, you can't file again until those X years have passed.  As people wait for months or years before they can file again, their wages can be garnished. That's a definite "ouch."  For people with chronic, serious health issues, it's not unusual to file multiple bankruptcies over the course of a life.  

Not only that, if you need continued treatment for said chronic conditions, it may come to a screeching halt and finding someone else could become impossible.

[NastyWoman]

Dec 21, 2016 9:54:12 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Dec 14, 2016 21:15:53 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

 after almost two decades out of the workforce I started my job hunt at age 48 as a new (again) college grad in 2016. At that time the job market was so hot around here that just being able to "fog up a mirror" and having some basic skills was enough to get a job offer. So I was hired , I took that opportunity and ran with it → 5 promotions later after working in various fields in this company I make a 6-figure salary. I worked my butt off for those promotions but had the job market been different all those years ago I would never had the chance to prove what I could do. Now it didn't hurt that I graduated summa sum  laude and am a polyglot → yet despite that I had definitely significantly fewer interviews than my much younger fellow graduates.  So it really all started out with luck, and I don't believe the job market today would offer me that same opportunity.

Wow!  You must have graduated in January if you managed to graduate, work in various fields, get five promotions, end up with a 6-figure salary . . . and the year hasn't ended yet.

You should definitely try for promotion #6.  This is your lucky year.  

  I fixed after Sarah pointed out my typo, but not in my original post. It was 2000, rethinking my "fixing  strategy now"

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2016 12:28:01 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Dec 21, 2016 9:54:12 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Wow!  You must have graduated in January if you managed to graduate, work in various fields, get five promotions, end up with a 6-figure salary . . . and the year hasn't ended yet.

You should definitely try for promotion #6.  This is your lucky year.  

  I fixed after Sarah pointed out my typo, but not in my original post. It was 2000, rethinking my "fixing  strategy now"

I deleted my post.  I figured it was a typo, but it is exactly the type of overachievement that YM fosters sometimes.  

[NastyWoman]

@bamafan1954, I thought it was funny, especially after I just went back and (almost) changed 2016 into 2016... Yep, I did it again but fortunately I caught it before I saved my changes 

[Plain Old Petunia]

Dec 21, 2016 10:04:25 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Just reading through - thanks for sharing your stories. Its been quite encouraging for me as we've taken a flying leap off the YM wagon lately. Our debt level is now back to what it was 6 years ago. I feel like such a failure. But we don't have any late payments yet, so there's a plus. We've been able to juggle through so far. I just REALLY need DH to get paid. He hasn't been since Aug really, just a couple little things here & there that have kept him afloat. But no contributions to the family pot. Ughghg. January needs to hurry up & get here!

You aren't a failure!  Life has dealt you a big expensive surprise but it has not sunk you.  Imagine if you hadn't had your finances in good shape before this started.  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Dec 21, 2016 15:01:14 GMT -5 Plain Old Petunia said:

Dec 21, 2016 10:04:25 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Just reading through - thanks for sharing your stories. Its been quite encouraging for me as we've taken a flying leap off the YM wagon lately. Our debt level is now back to what it was 6 years ago. I feel like such a failure. But we don't have any late payments yet, so there's a plus. We've been able to juggle through so far. I just REALLY need DH to get paid. He hasn't been since Aug really, just a couple little things here & there that have kept him afloat. But no contributions to the family pot. Ughghg. January needs to hurry up & get here!

You aren't a failure!  Life has dealt you a big expensive surprise but it has not sunk you.  Imagine if you hadn't had your finances in good shape before this started.  

That's what I try to remind myself when I feel like a failure.

DH will try to reassure me by saying "Think about how much trouble we'd be in now if I had been in charge all this time!"

[TheOtherMe]

Dec 19, 2016 12:55:04 GMT -5 3catslady said:

TheOtherMe:  Your statement about your Mother always paying the rent first reminds me of the TV show "I Remember Mama".  I always loved that show.

Thinking about my mom saying that makes me smile about her.  I miss her so much, but that is a happy memory.  My sister doesn't have that memory.  Guess because I was the older daughter and typed their tax returns, that was shared with me.

I wasn't very YM with my tax withholdings this year and will be receiving about $2K in snowflake money from both the federal and state returns once I can file them. 

I forgot I no longer work during tax season and lost the church job when it closed.  Income is less and I didn't change the withholding.  Definitely have to do that now. 

I will be paying down debt with the snowflake money as well as replenishing the emergency fund.  Also need a few home repairs and they will now get done in the spring.

[Poptart]

Dec 21, 2016 10:04:25 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

Just reading through - thanks for sharing your stories. Its been quite encouraging for me as we've taken a flying leap off the YM wagon lately. Our debt level is now back to what it was 6 years ago. I feel like such a failure. But we don't have any late payments yet, so there's a plus. We've been able to juggle through so far. I just REALLY need DH to get paid. He hasn't been since Aug really, just a couple little things here & there that have kept him afloat. But no contributions to the family pot. Ughghg. January needs to hurry up & get here!

Sam, I admire all you do for your family but I think it's unfair that you carry the bulk of the financial burden- you have a spouse who should be able to shoulder that with you- if you guys want a big family he can't afford to work a job that pays him only commissions every few months, long term that really wont work out.

[TheHaitian]

OP shanendoah I am right there with you and all I can say here is:  hang in there sister! I cannot wait for 2016 to be over too...

We are talking getting fired not once but twice in a short time frame, selling our dream home and purchasing a new one 9 hours away that my wife still hates and spent ~250k more then our last home. We saw our savings deplete to the tune of ~60k.

Yet we are thankful for 2016 because my wife is pregnant with our daughter We wish the circumstances were different, maybe we should have postponed the IVF because the stress was definitely not helpful but there is never a perfect time.

Basically 2016 was a shit show from the get go (got fired first week in January) and been downhill from there with shades of light at the end of the tunnel. Heck I am honestly surprised our marriage has survived it so far!

Anyway hang in there sister, 1 day at a time. Looking back I am not sure how we managed to survive 2016 because at times it did not look like we would make it but we did. We have not reach the promise land yet, still face struggles daily (hate my job but have 3.5 years left on the contract) but going to keep on moving 1 step at a time!

May 2017 be better for all of us!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Glad to hear Carlie is still baking Carl.   You need to pop over to the kids' thread everyone's been on pins/needles wondering how your wife and the baby are doing.

[imanangel]

I am so sorry to hear about your legal issues Shan. One can never, really prepare for something like that. 

2016 can just suck it already. I don't think I have ever hated a year more. The only good thing in 2016 for me is that I finally got back into doing what I love, at a school I love. I make about $20K more than the toxic job that I did for a year.  Our debt is ridiculously high, but I have been able to pay off a credit card and a student loan. It is a start. We are hoping by summer to have our consumer debt paid off. I hate that we let ourselves fall back into poor spending habits, but it happened. 

Here is to 2017 being a better year for all of us!