seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Mar 29, 2017 18:48:16 GMT -5
shanendoah, your house is under median value for the area. It seems to me that at some point, in this thread or elsewhere, you said what it would cost to rent a place in the area. For the sake of comparison, would you tell us again? If we're going to go into "the numbers are the numbers," it would help to know what it would cost to rent a suitable place in your area. Picking up and moving from a VHCOLA isn't that easy. Sure, you could move to a more rural area, but that comes with some disadvantages. I know someone who lives in central PA now and is moving to a big city because the access to healthcare is so difficult. They have a child with a chronic illness where specialists in that field are 4 hours away. Would "the numbers are the numbers" factor into that decision? Uprooting one's life isn't all that easy or inexpensive. The argument isn't as simple as "Anyone can live in an inexpensive area, because I do." People tend to gravitate toward family when they start to raise a family, and some live in the same LCOL area their entire lives. Whatever the reason, there are pro's and con's to living anyplace, and not all of those factors are measured in numbers.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Mar 29, 2017 19:55:40 GMT -5
My previous house just sold for $109k. It was 2300 sq ft 4 br 3 ba, nice master suite with walk in closet, granite countertops and nice cabinets. It was in suburbs of a city of 100k. over 1/2 acre lot. And never more than a dusting of snow in 30 years.
Not all LCOL are in the middle of snow country.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Mar 29, 2017 20:15:02 GMT -5
The numbers are the numbers. Just stop it already
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Mar 30, 2017 9:39:48 GMT -5
seriousthistime - Average rent in Seattle for a 2 bedroom apartment is $2,746/month. I own a 4/3 home with a yard and pay $2476/month in mortgage, soon to be $2250/month. The low housing inventory in the area has a strong effect on the rental market. I also have dogs, and my dogs are non-negotiable.
And while I joke about moving to a LCOLA, we're not going to. I am not living in the south. If I were going to do that, I would have moved to North Carolina to be near extended family years ago (especially when my grandparents were alive). And I lived in MT for 13 years. I am not moving back to winters like that. IF (and it's a big if) we were to move, it would almost certainly be to the same general area of CA my mother lives in, which has a similar COL to the Seattle area.
I have uprooted my life and moved to a completely new area, as an adult. Did that when we moved from Reno to Seattle. I know very well how hard that can be. There are parts of this situation that make me wish I could runaway, and some possible long term consequences that might result in me wishing for a brand new start. But the likelihood of us moving is low, and, if we did move, the likelihood of it being anywhere other than near my mother and brother in CA is less than 5%.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Mar 30, 2017 10:14:17 GMT -5
The numbers seem to be strongly in favor of you staying put, shanendoah. If your house will cost you less than rent, before even factoring in the tax advantage, you certainly should stay in that area. I live near the CA coast now, and it is not so different from where you are. I am never moving back to cold winters and hot humid summers if I can help it. You were doing just fine financially until the current situation arose. You will do fine again. Getting from here to there may have been a bumpy road, but you will get there. You have always been an inspiration to me, and always seemed to have it together financially. You led by example rather than criticism. I am not the only one on this message board who appreciates and respects that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2017 10:24:23 GMT -5
So, just as an aside. If this court thing goes in your favor, is there any way you can be re-compensated for some of that 90K in lawyer fees at all? Counter suit or something? Obviously, I have zero clue what this is about, or any experience with courts/lawyers (beyond divorce) but it seems crazy that someone should have to spend that much to defend themselves and then just be broke.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Mar 30, 2017 10:45:36 GMT -5
minnesotapaintlady - Not really. One lawyer does have a retainer of $7k. And once things are over there, we would get back whatever was left of the retainer. However, that's on the part of the situation that will last past May. But beyond that, no, we won't get anything back.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 30, 2017 10:58:11 GMT -5
Since your house is so big can you rent out a room and a bathroom? If rents are that high people might be desperate enough to share housing?
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Mar 30, 2017 12:11:20 GMT -5
zibazinski - I already rent out one room and a bathroom. Not for a lot of money, I will be honest. A friend of ours who is transitioning is living with us. She currently pays us $300/month and helps with groceries. Her surgery is scheduled in mid-May. And the reason her rent is so low is so that she can save up to pay for her portion of the surgery. We will probably revisit her rent come July. There's also the possibility of another friend moving in with us in mid-April, and he would also pay us some rent. However, in order to make that happen, we would need to do some major reorganization in the last available bedroom/our garage in order to make it feasible. We'll be talking with him tonight, and try to get a better picture, as he'll be moving back to Seattle from NYC.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Mar 31, 2017 11:14:02 GMT -5
Small update on the dryer. C did some research and found out that it would be about $100 just to have someone come look at the dryer, let alone the part (about $100) and labor to fix it. He then found someone on Craigslist selling a Kirkland (CostCo brand) Signature dryer because he moved to a new house that already had a dryer for $50. So, we're picking up the new to us dryer this weekend, for less than it would have cost to have someone even look at our current dryer. It will no longer be my top loading, I love this thing, dryer, but it will be one that works and gets us inexpensively through this tight time.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Mar 31, 2017 13:36:14 GMT -5
it will dry your clothes and get you through til you have a little more stable footing to do something more permanent. that's exactly what you need right now.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Mar 31, 2017 13:41:40 GMT -5
chiver78 - Exactly. And if we stay in this house, we want to extend the gas line (currently only our heat is gas, but not our water heater or any appliances). And if we did that, we'd need to change to a gas dryer anyway, instead of an electric dryer.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 31, 2017 18:59:16 GMT -5
Shane, I wish you and C nothing but the best as you deal with all of this. Happy you can get the refi done.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 3, 2017 10:30:25 GMT -5
Just a basic update: Refi is moving forward. Our insurance agent contacted us on Friday regarding the bank reaching out for a "binder" for the refi, to confirm before he sent that over.
We continue to not have an April mortgage payment. No money left the account this weekend, and the new servicer still says no payment due until May 1. So yay for the breathing room that will create.
We did buy the dryer for $50. C used his cash stash for it. It's smaller than our old dryer, and while it can fit a completely full load from my washer in it, it just barely fits a completely full load and so it doesn't actually dry a completely full load from my washer in one go, but if I do smaller loads, it works beautifully. I do now have to get rid of the old dryer.
However, moving things around in the garage to make room for a dryer to leave an another to enter got me to clean the refrigerator sitting out there, and we'll get that up and listed on Craigslist. C can use whatever we get from that to go back in his cash stash.
I'm going to call an appliance recycler today to see about getting them to come pick up the old dryer, and also an old TV, and possible a broken, upright carpet cleaner, both of which have been sitting in my garage for almost 2 years. They don't say they charge for this, but I want to talk to them to make sure.
We did have to replace the microwave this weekend. Spent around $70 on that ($62 + tax), and so I'll use the money I'd set aside for dryer repair/savings to cover that, but still be able to put a little over $400 in savings. Considering my savings goal for the year was $480, that will almost double it. Which is good, and also sad for someone who was used to putting away $1000/month. The old microwave might go with the appliance recycling people, but it doesn't have to. We can apparently put it out with our regular recycling next Monday, and they'll haul it away for free.
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Poptart
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Post by Poptart on Apr 3, 2017 13:59:53 GMT -5
Shanen-
I would not sell the house. I don't think people in low cost of living areas realize how hard it is to find affordable housing for those of us not living in Ohio. Why rent for 2,000+ when you can own your own property? Especially if you are in a good school district? I live in Los Angeles, a one bedroom 640 square foot apartment goes for $1,700. There were two houses for sale in my area recently, both three bedrooms, three bath homes, nothing really special about either of them, one sold for $529,000 and the other for $579,000. If you have found a home that meets your needs don't let it go.
The only other thing I have to add is that your spouse really should be working, I realize it's hard to do in the middle of a trail but you need help and it's terribly unfair for one person to carry the whole financial burden. I know that I would die a little inside if my significant other had to stretch himself so thin because they had to take care of me. I'd do anything before letting him carry the whole burden, I'd baby sit, clean houses, dog walk, whatever it took to help, even if my contribution was small at least I'd be helping.
I do hope this works out for the best and that this nightmare goes away soon. You'll be okay, I just hope you get the support that you need and deserve.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Apr 3, 2017 15:28:43 GMT -5
I strongly disagree with going against what the attorney recommends. When you pay someone that kind of money for their professional recommendations, IMHO, it is sheer stupidity not to follow those recommendations.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 3, 2017 15:39:38 GMT -5
Poptart - If we decide to sell the house, I can pretty much guarantee it will be a purely emotional decision, and one in which finances will only play the smallest of parts. And I understand people saying C should work. C feels like he should work. We've looked into it. But given our current situation, it really is not feasible. I know that that is hard to understand. And even when I get a chance to explain it, some people will still refuse to understand, but this is what it is. C and I are on the same page. And please remember that we chose to be a single income household years ago. We became a single income household about 8 years ago when C lost his job. And after a while, we decided he should go back to school instead. And then when we decided to adopt (and that decision was made over 5 years ago), we decided he would be a stay at home parent.
So I've been doing this financial "burden" thing on my own for 8 years. Being the person who gets a paycheck does not feel like a burden to me. This is what has worked for our family. Our current situation is extraordinary, by any standards. And so, once he can do so, C will go back to work. BUT, even if he didn't go back to work, once August rolls around and we no longer have a payment to make to lawyer 1, we'll be back in fine shape. It will take longer to get out of the hole with only me working, but we will still be able to do it in 3-5 years.
Edited to change a misspelling.
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Poptart
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Post by Poptart on Apr 5, 2017 13:56:05 GMT -5
Shanen- I would not sell, just because finding something affordable later would be a nightmare, looking around for an apartment in LA has clearly traumatized me.
I don't mean to be a jerk, but I don't understand staying home when your spouse is twisting themselves like a pretzel to make things work out financially, even a part time job would help give you some breathing room, right? I understand the advantage of having a stay at home parent who can deal with all the things that come with running a household but if you're in debt and your spouse is barely holding it together then you gotta go work, and as your child gets older do you really need a stay at home spouse?
*This is just me but I've always thought that the advantage of being married was having another person be able to help you financially, and I just can't wrap my head around having to be completely responsible for another adults financial well being.*
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cameragrrl
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Post by cameragrrl on Apr 5, 2017 14:11:39 GMT -5
For the old appliances, check with your local garbage company. They usually have pretty good rates, and mine includes two free pickups per year of appliances and other large items.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 5, 2017 15:35:44 GMT -5
Poptart - Before this started, we weren't in debt, or, I should say, we'd worked out way out of debt. Last June, the only debt we had was the mortgage, and with the exception of my undergraduate student loans (which we finally paid off in Oct 2015), we had been non-mortgage debt free for around 4 years, when we'd used his inheritance to pay off my graduate student loans. We put around $1000 into savings each month, and didn't really pay attention to what we were spending. I currently make, on my own, more money that we ever made combined when we were both working. We are going back into debt because of the legal situation. The legal situation makes it non-feasible for C to get a job right now. In 6 weeks, we'll be in a different place. This isn't C watching me twist myself into a pretzel. C and I talk about this all the time. We discuss; we plan; we make the decisions together. He keeps trying to get me to agree to him clearing out his retirement accounts in order to ease the financial burden. I am the one who has said no to that over and over, because I do not want to put his future at risk like that. And it's not like I'm working overtime (legally, I don't get overtime) or have gone and gotten a second job myself. I am carrying the exact same "burden" as I was before this. And honestly, the financial part is the EASY part.
So, I have a partner who is sharing this with me fully. He does not post here, so I get you do not necessarily see that. C and I have been a single financial unit since before we were even engaged - over 15 years now, so the dual decision making is such a part of our life together that I often do not think about it as something outside myself. We make all of our financial decisions together. I just happen to be the one who executes/tracks those decisions because I am more interested in it.
And I get that our financial relationship would not work for you in a relationship. And that's totally fine. My BFF and her wife don't have combined accounts at all. You have to do what works for you in a relationship. The fact that this setup works for us in no way means it should work for you. But the fact that you would see being the sole earner in a two adult family as a burden does not mean that I have to see it that way.
We have made our decisions together, in the way that works best for our family and our individual personalities. And I have no regrets or reservations about that, even if the current situation sucks.
cameragrrl - They will pick up my microwave for free, but do charge of other appliances. We haven't reached out to the other appliance recycling place just yet, because we haven't unburied the TV I want to go away yet. If it turns out they will charge for pick up, I will then contact our garbage service and see what they charge, or just decide to drive it all to the .
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 5, 2017 18:40:29 GMT -5
Shane, you don't have to keep explaining. Long time members here have followed you for years and support you.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Apr 5, 2017 18:55:07 GMT -5
Shane, you don't have to keep explaining. Long time members here have followed you for years and support you. So much this!
TOM, I hope that you are feeling better; it's good to "see" you back on the boards. Hugs.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 6, 2017 9:38:00 GMT -5
TheOtherMe and suesinfl - Thank you for the support. I absolutely appreciate the long time members who know me and are being so supportive. But I also feel like this thread (or any thread on the boards) shouldn't just be for long time, active members. While Poptart and cameragrrl have both apparently been around since 2011, they have under 250/50 posts respectively, so they are still pretty new. It doesn't hurt me to explain things they may not already know, though I do understand how it can get frustrating for the rest of you to read the same things over and over.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 6, 2017 10:44:45 GMT -5
I have enjoyed your fostering and adoption posts so much.
A former tv reporter here adopted like you and C did two children of another race. They thought they were infertile. They had a surprise pregnancy a year ago and now another one so they will have four children under the age of 4. They did move to an area with more African Americans so their older daughters can have a different upbringing. She writes a blog and wrote this week that they have even had to stop seeing some family members because of the hurtful things they say about the adopted daughters.
I am not frustrated reading things again for me. I am frustrated because people are trying to tell you what to do.
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cameragrrl
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Post by cameragrrl on Apr 6, 2017 11:04:08 GMT -5
TheOtherMe and suesinfl - Thank you for the support. I absolutely appreciate the long time members who know me and are being so supportive. But I also feel like this thread (or any thread on the boards) shouldn't just be for long time, active members. While Poptart and cameragrrl have both apparently been around since 2011, they have under 250/50 posts respectively, so they are still pretty new. It doesn't hurt me to explain things they may not already know, though I do understand how it can get frustrating for the rest of you to read the same things over and over. If I said something to offend, I apologize. I was only offering a suggestion. I was pleasantly surprised at my local trash company's offerings, so I hoped yours might be similar. As for C, you guys know what's best for your family and this is a temporary situation. If it were a permanent issue, it's clear that you would be looking at things differently. I've been reading these boards for a long time, and you've always stood out as thoughtful and eloquent. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this legal situation. I hope it is over soon, with the resolution that you're hoping for.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 6, 2017 12:14:57 GMT -5
cameragrrl - It was more about my needing to respond to people on why C isn't working/hasn't worked for 8 years now, and how we are both really ok with that. I joined these boards back in the MSN days, about 7 months after C was laid off, and at the time, he was actively job searching and the plan was to remain a 2 income household. So long time board members, especially on the WIR side, have watched, questioned, and supported me (us) through so many of these decisions. They were some of the first people to know when I got the raise that meant C didn't have to go back to work. They got 5 year debt payoff plans. They heard about the arguments about what to do with C's inheritance. (For the record, in WA, inheritances are not community property, and federal student loans are never transferable, so I was very against using HIS inheritance to pay off MY student loans.)
So mostly, I think TheOtherMe was saying I don't have to go back and explain to people our family set up. Those that have been here with me for 7+ years know and understand, and I think they feel miffed on my behalf when people question it, because they do know how much thought we have put into our family and our finances and how those two things overlap.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 13, 2017 9:57:06 GMT -5
Paid the taxes today. Total bill was $308. We got $291 from the savings bonds, so between that and the $100 I kept in the account from not having a mortgage payment this month, taxes were covered. I also had to renew a dog license today. And in the next two months, both of the car registrations will come due.
Got an email from the bank about the refi earlier this week - still in underwriting, nothing for us to do but wait.
Next Tuesday I need to call the lawyer's office and make a $15,100 payment to them.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 13, 2017 10:54:51 GMT -5
Hugs Shane. We closed out the money market account this week. It was down to a couple hundred and we were getting charged fees.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 14, 2017 9:20:47 GMT -5
Got a call from the bank last night. Our refi is out of underwriting. We should close next Thursday. (Which is going to be a PITA, as I have meetings scattered throughout the day on Thursday, and C has plans starting at 5p that evening.) But, out of underwriting means making a $15k payment to the lawyer on Tuesday won't mess anything up. We do have to bring $1100 to closing, but that's to fund the new escrow account, and we should be getting a refund from the previous escrow account.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Apr 17, 2017 10:30:19 GMT -5
And filed under "I should have expected this when the dryer died", the washer died this weekend. I had a load of laundry in, and I heard this odd clicking sound. I went down to check and the washer was supposed to be on fast spin, but it was pretty obviously not spinning at all, and just making the clicking sound. Craigslist does not seem to be as good for washers as dryers, but we're hoping to get a rebuilt one for around $150. Luckily, I put an extra $400 in savings last month, so we do have this covered.
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