High School Extra-Curriculars

[yogiii]

Sept 21, 2016 11:54:07 GMT -5 movingforward said:

Sept 21, 2016 11:32:26 GMT -5 yogiii said:

I was only in one extra curricular and not even for all 4 years. I also had a job at the mall. I still went to college and then got a different job.

I am not sure what year you graduated HS but this was pretty standard for myself and just about everyone I grew up with.  I am Gen X, or what I refer to as "The Fast Times at Ridgemont High" generation.  We were all expected to get part-time jobs when we turned 16 so one extra curricular was definitely enough.  Teenagers worked at malls, fast food restaurants, drug stores, etc.  I rarely see teenagers in these jobs now.  I see college students doing some of them but  definitely not high schoolers.

Depending on the definition I'm either one of the last Gen X or one of the first Millennials. I very recently turned 36.

[finnime]

Sept 21, 2016 11:31:09 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 21, 2016 11:23:41 GMT -5 Tiny said:

Personally, I was TERRIFIED to sign up for something - because it would require that I walk into a room full of kids I might not know AND/OR a walk into a situation where I might not know what to do or say right off the bat. That situation is the kind of thing that sets me up for a panic attack - and panic attacks are NOT fun. This was back in the day when "panic attacks" were imaginary made up things used as an excuse because you were 'lazy' or intentionally being uncooperative. I didn't get much positive encouragement from home to do stuff - but I had friends doing interesting stuff so I tended to follow them.

I had panic attacks back before they knew what they were.  It's why I ended up dropping out of high school my junior year.  I just couldn't go in the building anymore.  I'd literally pass out.  They wanted to put me in a genuine mental institution for this and my Mom said, no way.  She would rather me carry the stigma of high school drop out. 

For your experiences in childhood.

[Deleted]

I have to say, I am glad the school is taking such an interest in making sure he does more than just go to school, even if they're stressing us out a little.  He went to homecoming dance last weekend.  No way in hell would this kid have gone, but his English teacher said she'd give him extra credit if he showed up and sent a selfie of himself there.  

And he had an awesome time at the dance, and actually DANCED.  I wish I would have had a video of that, because I can't picture it!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

How much is this scholarship?

I am all for saving on college but not by over-extending the kid.   This also relates to my HS sweetheart who had tiger parents and wanted him to get "lots of scholarships".    He used to constantly have ulcers and struggle regularly with heart burn.  He was in tears over a test he got an 89% on despite the fact everyone else (in all three periods of that course) averaged a 45%.

You've already mentioned before that your son has trouble with organization.  Do you want to pile even MORE on just for the sake of a single scholarship?

If it's $1k or less in scholarship money I would tell teh school to shove it my kid is in plenty of activities even if they aren't on their "approved" list.  I am not going to let the school dictate to me what is an acceptable activity for my kid.

Being in Boy Scouts and being able to play an instrument will lead to far more scholarships that will make up for not getting this one from the school.  I know fastweb used to have a TON of scholarships ranging from $200-$2k for various instruments.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 12:04:32 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

How much is this scholarship?

It depends.  I don't really know how these scholarships work, but I think it varies from year to year what is available and then it's based on your individual performance while at school. 
Last year they awarded 260K to 46 grads.  It's renewable for 4 years, so if you just averaged everyone it's a little over $1400/yr/kid, but I think in reality some are getting $800 and some are getting 4K. 

[Lizard Queen]

I overscheduled myself and burnt myself out in high school. I see the benefit a speech club may bring, but I think really commiting and focusing your efforts on just a few areas is better than half-assing a half dozen things. (From experience) I'd show the school some research on how great boy scouts are, and point out how involved your son is with the band obligations. I think it's asinine that these don't count as extra curriculars.

[Deleted]

He also has been teaching himself how to play piano since I bought the piano for younger son and is getting pretty good considering he just started.  He wants to start taking piano lessons too.  I haven't agreed to that yet because I just can't afford for them both to be taking lessons every week.

[alabamagal]

My kids were kept very busy with extra-curricular activities in high school.  Keeping busy can mean keeping out of trouble.  It worked in my case.

My kids went to VERY small private school, which meant that it was much easier to be on a sports team.  Any male who showed up for football practice was on the team, and would likely even get to play in the game.  Team ranged in size from 18-35 the years my kids were there.  DD did chearleading - she would not have made the team at a larger school.  Kids were all in 2 or 3 sports every year.

They also did drama/school play.  Play was during football season.  The 3 weeks before the play were probably the worst schedule-wise.  

Boys also did scouts.  They had a great scout leader and both made Eagle scout.  Scouts seemed less time than sports.

They also worked for DH's retail printing business, but obviously had a boss who would work with their schedules.  They would work after school (3-6) if no sports practice and Saturdays.

Most amusing story was my youngest who is on introverted side and does not speak very well.  When he was younger he wanted to be a sports reporter.  I told him in 7th grade he should sign up for drama and he did.  One day at baseball practice, when he could not completely remove the eye makeup from play practice, I heard him tell his friends "My mom made me sign up for drama."  He changed his career choice to accounting, but he still signed up for drama every year and had some good parts in plays.

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 21, 2016 12:42:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

He also has been teaching himself how to play piano since I bought the piano for younger son and is getting pretty good considering he just started.  He wants to start taking piano lessons too.  I haven't agreed to that yet because I just can't afford for them both to be taking lessons every week.

Can you do both every other week?

[alabamagal]

Sept 21, 2016 12:42:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

He also has been teaching himself how to play piano since I bought the piano for younger son and is getting pretty good considering he just started.  He wants to start taking piano lessons too.  I haven't agreed to that yet because I just can't afford for them both to be taking lessons every week.

The older of my boys taught himself how to play piano.  He already knew how to read music from being in band for 2 years.  We had an electric piano and he would sit there with his headphones.  We were shocked one day when we heard him play.  He actually played for youth day at our church.

Both of my boys went through a "guitar phase".  Older took lessons for a few months.  I think it is a "Chicks dig guitar players" thing.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 12:49:21 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

Sept 21, 2016 12:42:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

He also has been teaching himself how to play piano since I bought the piano for younger son and is getting pretty good considering he just started.  He wants to start taking piano lessons too.  I haven't agreed to that yet because I just can't afford for them both to be taking lessons every week.

The older of my boys taught himself how to play piano.  He already knew how to read music from being in band for 2 years.  We had an electric piano and he would sit there with his headphones.  We were shocked one day when we heard him play.  He actually played for youth day at our church.

Both of my boys went through a "guitar phase".  Older took lessons for a few months.  I think it is a "Chicks dig guitar players" thing.

Yeah, DS has been in band for 5 years so he knows how to read music.  I'm pretty shocked at how well he's doing too.  He also likes to put the headphones on and doesn't want to play for anyone else.  We had people over the other night, and I'm like "You have to hear how well DS is playing piano!"  But he refused. 

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 12:45:58 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Sept 21, 2016 12:42:03 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

He also has been teaching himself how to play piano since I bought the piano for younger son and is getting pretty good considering he just started.  He wants to start taking piano lessons too.  I haven't agreed to that yet because I just can't afford for them both to be taking lessons every week.

Can you do both every other week?

I could, but I really think younger needs to go every week to keep him on track.   I think he's doing fine on his own anyhow.  I'm not sure lessons would be a huge help.

[Tiny]

MPL, are there any not long term time commitment kinds of extra curricular activities? I don't know, something like helping with Homecoming floats/celebration or helping with Student Government stuff (without actually BEING an elected student government position)?   you know the changing cycle of events going on at the school?   I went to a HS with 2000 kids so there were LOTS of opportunities for things to participate in or to do at the school.

 
I did all sorts of stuff (without actually joining 'clubs' and such - not much of a 'joiner') I was part of volunteer groups that did school 'spirit' (we made banners for school events, sold school themed cups/shirts/buttons, I helped with behind the scenes things for Homecoming parades, etc) because my friends were in the Student Government. I was part of a group of volunteers (non-jocks) who helped out at home games for various sports teams (cause I knew a bunch of cheerleaders and a bunch kids on not typical sports teams (badminton, golf, archery, track and field players) They always needed 'volunteers' for various events thru out the school year.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 13:14:22 GMT -5 Tiny said:

MPL, are there any not long term time commitment kinds of extra curricular activities? I don't know, something like helping with Homecoming floats/celebration or helping with Student Government stuff (without actually BEING an elected student government position)?   you know the changing cycle of events going on at the school?   I went to a HS with 2000 kids so there were LOTS of opportunities for things to participate in or to do at the school.

 
I did all sorts of stuff (without actually joining 'clubs' and such - not much of a 'joiner') I was part of volunteer groups that did school 'spirit' (we made banners for school events, sold school themed cups/shirts/buttons, I helped with behind the scenes things for Homecoming parades, etc) because my friends were in the Student Government. I was part of a group of volunteers (non-jocks) who helped out at home games for various sports teams (cause I knew a bunch of cheerleaders and a bunch kids on not typical sports teams (badminton, golf, archery, track and field players) They always needed 'volunteers' for various events thru out the school year.

Not sure.  It's a pretty small school.  Only 360 in grades 7-12.   

I was also thinking about Scouts.   A bunch of kids from his troop go to this school and a couple of them for their Eagle projects did something for the school.  One installed drain tile in the ball field and the other is making bat and helmet racks.  That might be one way to incorporate it.   Part of the "Extracurricular" portion of the scholarship application is to write an essay about how you contributed to the school above and beyond what is required in the community service requirement. 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Sept 21, 2016 12:03:32 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I have to say, I am glad the school is taking such an interest in making sure he does more than just go to school, even if they're stressing us out a little.  He went to homecoming dance last weekend.  No way in hell would this kid have gone, but his English teacher said she'd give him extra credit if he showed up and sent a selfie of himself there.  

And he had an awesome time at the dance, and actually DANCED.  I wish I would have had a video of that, because I can't picture it!

Sometimes a kid just needs to take baby steps and test the waters with his toe before his social life takes root.

How big is the student body? Is there a large population of new classmates or did most of the kids from his old school move on with him?

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 13:44:03 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Sept 21, 2016 12:03:32 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I have to say, I am glad the school is taking such an interest in making sure he does more than just go to school, even if they're stressing us out a little.  He went to homecoming dance last weekend.  No way in hell would this kid have gone, but his English teacher said she'd give him extra credit if he showed up and sent a selfie of himself there.  

And he had an awesome time at the dance, and actually DANCED.  I wish I would have had a video of that, because I can't picture it!

Sometimes a kid just needs to take baby steps and test the waters with his toe before his social life takes root.

How big is the student body? Is there a large population of new classmates or did most of the kids from his old school move on with him?

360 in grades 7-12.  Except for the boarding students that just start in 9th most of the 9th grade day students were already at this school starting in 7th. 

At the school he came from there were only eight 8th graders.  DS and one other moved on to this school, the rest went to the public (I'm assuming).  He does know a bunch of kids there though.  His scout troop is probably 75% students from this school.  He seems to be making his closest friendships with a couple international students that just started this year. 

[Lizard Queen]

Sept 21, 2016 12:54:34 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 21, 2016 12:45:58 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Can you do both every other week?

I could, but I really think younger needs to go every week to keep him on track.   I think he's doing fine on his own anyhow.  I'm not sure lessons would be a huge help.

I understand. It's a shame. I found that I learned a whole lot more about music in general when I finally took a class piano class in CC. That's after 8 years of flute playing. Not sure private piano lessons would get that involved, though, but it's hard to learn about chords when your instrument can only play one note at a time.

[973beachbum]

To me there are two different things being brought up and only one is being addressed here. 

The school seems to be trying to build friendships/bonds between the students in the school by fostering different activities that allow the students to be in different activities outside of regular school.  It kind of reminds me of how colleges have a few days before the fall semester starts where the freshman have to be there early.  They put them in groups and send them around on activities and games and meals together for the 5ish days.  By the end they really do feel like they have a few friends.  My DD is a junior and will still mention kids and say they are her "pop friend" meaning in that group with her.  In a weird way it did kind of make the place feel more like home to her.

It seems to me, I could be wrong , that they are trying to get all the kids involved in some way so they feel a part of the school and not just because they took some classes there. 

The other part is how much is too much for your son MPL.  And if he has a lot already on his plate but none of those activities are part of that school then the choice is really how much a part of the school does he really want to be.

[Apple]

My son had wanted to join a chess club, but each year he became eligible (Jr high, then high school), they dropped the club.  He wasn't interested in anything else.

I didn't push him, but one of his teachers sure did!  She bugged him daily that he needed to audition for the school play.  He finally caved, and ended up with a huge role.  Then the spring musical came up, and he "refused" to do it because he didn't want to sing.  I told him the director would find him a speaking-only part if he wanted.  He finally auditioned, and had half the male solos when he was done, and was center-stage in almost all the group scenes.  He did all but one play/musical the rest of his time in high school (he just really hated Godspell and didn't want to have anything to do with it).

I know theater was a life changer for DS.  Even if people don't want to be on stage, there are lighting, sound, stage hand positions where people are needed.

All that said, your son is already involved in extra-curriculars, it would be nice if the school acknowledged that.

[Shooby]

  Every kid is different of course.  For us, i don't like my kids to be overscheduled.  My oldest son seemed to really want to be in a lot of things.  And, he was high energy and for him I think he was more involved.  My younger son only joined exactly what he wanted to join and didn't join what he didn't want to join.  At times, he was the odd man out who didn't join.  Didn't seem to bother him at all nor did it harm him socially, etc.  DD seems to need more down time.  She is more type A and tends to turn some of these things into stressors.  She does school basketball, travel basketball and softball for sports and that's it.  She plays in the band.  And, our down time is spent together, usually cooking and baking.  She now seems to really love cooking.  And, i find that bonding time far more valuable then joining another club with another set of annoying Booster parents!  lol.
  But, let your child give you the clue.  He can say yes he wants to join or not.  Some people don't care for organized clubs so much.  Or, there are lots of things at the library that are more of a one time thing you could do here or there that he could join that maybe don't go on so long and indefinitely like some of these clubs do.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 16:31:31 GMT -5 Apple said:

My son had wanted to join a chess club, but each year he became eligible (Jr high, then high school), they dropped the club.  He wasn't interested in anything else.

I didn't push him, but one of his teachers sure did!  She bugged him daily that he needed to audition for the school play.  He finally caved, and ended up with a huge role.  Then the spring musical came up, and he "refused" to do it because he didn't want to sing.  I told him the director would find him a speaking-only part if he wanted.  He finally auditioned, and had half the male solos when he was done, and was center-stage in almost all the group scenes.  He did all but one play/musical the rest of his time in high school (he just really hated Godspell and didn't want to have anything to do with it).

I know theater was a life changer for DS.  Even if people don't want to be on stage, there are lighting, sound, stage hand positions where people are needed.

All that said, your son is already involved in extra-curriculars, it would be nice if the school acknowledged that.

Chess Club is the one thing he said he'd join early on when we were looking at all the booths at rally at the beginning of the year.  They don't start until mid October or so.

I picked him up today and asked if he got the email from the speech team coach and he said "yes", I non-nonchalantly asked him what he thought and he said he was going to check into it to see what it was about.  I was actually prepared to just back down if he was really negative.

[MJ2.0]

I was in a zillion things in high school - marching band (GIANT time suck), concert band, chorus, chorale (female choir), some other little clubs, swim team in 10th grade, and spring field for 11th and 12th grade. Plus I had a part time job and was on honor roll most of the time. My goal was to get the hell out of dodge upon graduation, so I wanted to make my transcript look as attractive as possible.

and here I am now - back to school at 33.

[zibazinski]

DS was told a sport and a club. He did a sport and I forget what club he joined. Only did both because forced to by college to be "well rounded!"
DD joined everything under the sun. Drama, chorus, math net, but no school sports. She swam but our schools don't have pools so it's not a school sport. Club swimming.

[Deleted]

Sept 21, 2016 17:25:10 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  Every kid is different of course.  For us, i don't like my kids to be overscheduled.  My oldest son seemed to really want to be in a lot of things.  And, he was high energy and for him I think he was more involved.  My younger son only joined exactly what he wanted to join and didn't join what he didn't want to join.  At times, he was the odd man out who didn't join.  Didn't seem to bother him at all nor did it harm him socially, etc.  DD seems to need more down time.  She is more type A and tends to turn some of these things into stressors.  She does school basketball, travel basketball and softball for sports and that's it.  She plays in the band.  And, our down time is spent together, usually cooking and baking.  She now seems to really love cooking.  And, i find that bonding time far more valuable then joining another club with another set of annoying Booster parents!  lol.
  But, let your child give you the clue.  He can say yes he wants to join or not.  Some people don't care for organized clubs so much.  Or, there are lots of things at the library that are more of a one time thing you could do here or there that he could join that maybe don't go on so long and indefinitely like some of these clubs do.

This is me!  My extreme type B son drives me bonkers!  I'll be the one stressing about the extra curriculars, not him.

[Shooby]

    Is he happy and doing well in school for the most part?  Does he want more social interaction or is he content with seeing kids at school and his other activities.  DD rarely wants to invite people over on the weekends.  I was always bugging her about it.  Why don't you invite so and so over. etc.  And, she does from time to time.  But she said she sees everyone at school and at practices, band, etc and that is enough for her.  She wants some down time to play with the dog or watch her shows or whatever.  You might be more of a joiner, a go getter, etc and he is laid back.  Just be OK with that.  Kids have a lot of pressure on them nowadays.  And, adding more clubs, activities, etc can overload them.
  Why not just plan a weekly day for just you two.  Maybe it's chess night or something like that?  

[Shooby]

Personally ,  i think you are overthinking it if you are worried about resumes, college transcripts, etc.  Is you son a star student?  My oldest son was not.  His grades were so so.  Well, he applied and got accepted into 2 schools.  And, honestly the ability to get into college is largely due to your ability to come up with the funds to pay tuition.  As for scholarships, if he is in the middle of the back, you might get $1000 or some smaller amounts but i wouldn't bank on it.  He will do just fine.  If he isn't into sports, then that is not his thing.  Perhaps 4H?  Running around doing things to fill up a resume just because someone else said so is a waste of time.  Just be who he is and it will all work out.  

[trippypea]

I have two kids in high school. One is in no extra curricular activities.

The other is in marching band, concert band, honors jazz band, and will be auditioning for indoor percussion. She plays both flute and drum kit. She also has private lessons for drums. Marching band has been a huge time commitment, and she was busy with that all summer. Our football team always has a great season, so it won't be done until November. After that starts basketball season, and the jazz band plays at the basketball games. On top of all that, she is in all Honors classes. I am constantly telling her to not overextend herself because there is just not enough time in the day to give her school work the attention it needs while still having time to practice multiple instruments. There are other things she'd like to participate in, like theater, but just doesn't have the time to do it. And the school year has just started...

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2016 6:06:54 GMT -5 Shooby said:

You might be more of a joiner, a go getter, etc and he is laid back.

I'm definitely NOT a joiner.  LOL  I was never in anything in high school.  Not even class most of the time.    But, I don't think my "take the path of least resistance" way was a good idea.  I'm kind of a nobody with no great job skills.  I'm making about the same now as I was 20 years ago (albeit with a lot less OT).  I really want him to have a better life than I do with having to stress about every purchase.

But, I hate, hate, HATE running around to all this stuff.  I get off work at 4pm and am only home before 8 on Tuesdays and sometimes Fridays.  I'd rather just go home, but if we drop this stuff all he'll do is sit around and play video games...and worse...watch youtube videos of other people playing video games.  He still does that for a couple hours (at least) every day. 

Tonight younger son starts Cub Scouts.   The thought of starting all over in that program is exhausting. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

But, I hate, hate, HATE running around to all this stuff.

Then call it good and tell the school to buzz off.   It doesn't sound like your son is lacking friends or activities.  If 75% of the kids in his scout troupe are also in his school then I don't see where this is an issue of trying to get him to "assimilate" unless by that they mean be carbon copies of all the other children who take 25 zillion activities at once.

Why overextend yourself and your son just to make the school happy?

Shoot if he can teach himself the piano and teach himself WELL, he can make bank off of FastWeb.   I kicked myself for not learning the piano from my elementary school teacher when I found out how much free money is lying around for people who can play.

Boy Scouts should also lead to a lot of scholarship opportunities and being in band.

In terms of scholarships for "extracurricular activities" he's more than covered.   It would not be a bad idea instead of focusing on cramming in even MORE activities to focus on his grades and what courses he is taking.  When I worked in the registrar's office at Simpson I noticed a lot more weight was put into what classes you took than how many clubs you belonged to. 

[Deleted]

It would not be a bad idea instead of focusing on cramming in even MORE activities to focus on his grades and what courses he is taking.

Grades yes, I worry about that because he was awful at completing homework in middle school.  I don't really know about what to do for classes though because he doesn't really have any choices.  They're pretty much dictated to him for the first couple years.  He did get to choose band and German, but he had to have a fine art and a foreign language.

What is FastWeb?