MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 30, 2016 9:11:11 GMT -5
I love this:
In 1960, women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. Today this gender gap has reversed: male happiness has gone up, and female happiness has declined. This is true both in America and in the U.K.
But wait, how can women in the postfeminist era be less happy than their mothers were?
Because they’ve been groomed to reject their femininity and to be resentful of men and marriage. The result is a nation of bitter, divorced and infertile women.
I didn't know that opinions about marriage affected your fertility!
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Aug 30, 2016 9:11:15 GMT -5
It's not that she's thanking him, it's that she's thanking him for sacrificing everything and giving up his dreams for her to have a cushy life of her dreams.No husband, but I think I'd be really sad to think my husband gave up all his dreams and seemingly has no break in life to do the things he likes while I'm sitting pretty. If he's happier than a bear in a honey pot ok, but her description of his life doesn't seem the happiest. That just sounds like a lot of nit picking. His life might be just fine Her life might not be as cushy. She is not bashing her husband. She is not making fun of him. She is THANKING him. And yet, people still find something to criticize her for. To me, it says a lot more about these people than her. I think what some people don't like is her attitude that her DH sacrificed his life and freedom in order to give his wife and kids a nice comfy life.
If she really feels that her DH drags himself to his hell hole job every day, nose to the grindstone, all his dreams crushed, just so she can go to the grocery store at 3 PM rather than hitting it during rush hour, that seems to be a very unbalanced arrangement they made for themselves.
Every marriage ought to allow each spouse to have some fun and enjoyment in life. Some 'me' time. Spouses that work outside the home need to give the SAHP parent some time off from the kids. Spouses that are the sole bread winners ought to have some time to purse the things that they enjoy in life - like in this case, writing.
No one should become a drone - a slave either to the kids and housework or to the job - in order for the other spouse to be happy. I would feel the same way if this woman was the breadwinner and dumped all the childcare/home work/yardwork/shopping on her DH so that she could spend her evenings and weekends 'having fun' outside the home, and then writing him a note thanking him for being the house slave so she could go to bars or swing dancing every night and have fun.
Marriage should allow equal 'me' time to both spouses. Marriages that require one spouse to give up everything so that the other spouse is free usually don't last.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Aug 30, 2016 9:14:50 GMT -5
This is the part that cracks me up compared to her letter about her leisurely stay at home existence. suzannevenker.com/about/
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Aug 30, 2016 9:29:09 GMT -5
Wait! She is getting crap for THANKING her husband? Yes, she is definitely the devil! I see her using her husband as a tool for her cultural critique opinion piece.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 9:53:43 GMT -5
That just sounds like a lot of nit picking. His life might be just fine Her life might not be as cushy. She is not bashing her husband. She is not making fun of him. She is THANKING him. And yet, people still find something to criticize her for. To me, it says a lot more about these people than her. I don't think it's nitpicking to base my opinion on exactly what she said. I wasn't reading between the lines or putting my own color on it. She said her life is cushy. And listed all her dreams that she got to do and listed all the things he can't do because he's chained to his job to let her do all her dreams. I am not against sahp. I was raised by one. While both my parents made sacrifices to make it happen I know my dad didn't give up all his hobbies and dreams while my mom was able to chase all of hers. I remember a certain poster on here bragging that she got to SAHM while her husband supported her...called all of us working stiffs suckers...turns out she really did want to work and actually does work now. So sometimes words are just words. We have no idea what this woman's homelife is like. For me, I would be so worried about MY future (even when I was married I never trusted my financial security to anyone but me) that I wouldn't be happy being taken care of...so no cushy life for me
But I also am not going to judge this person's marriage or assume her husband feels that he got the short end of the stick. Some men WANT to take care of their families like that. The guy I'm dating now is definitely more old fashioned, When he was married his wife didn't work and they had no kids. He liked coming home to a clean house and a cooked meal. He wasn't bitter because she didn't work. She didn't want to work and he made a pretty hefty salary that could more than support them. An outsider might have looked at their marriage and judged them but he was happy and she was happy. Granted, he said she wasn't really qualified to do much so there was no point having her work a minimum wage job
Now I want everyone to recognized that I DIDNT JUDGE in this thread on SAHP
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 30, 2016 9:54:24 GMT -5
Maybe her husband can't stand her or the kids and he's quite happy working all the time. Maybe it's not so she has a cushy life, but so he doesn't have to be part of it!
Thanks, Hon!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 9:59:00 GMT -5
I love this: In 1960, women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. Today this gender gap has reversed: male happiness has gone up, and female happiness has declined. This is true both in America and in the U.K.
But wait, how can women in the postfeminist era be less happy than their mothers were?
Because they’ve been groomed to reject their femininity and to be resentful of men and marriage. The result is a nation of bitter, divorced and infertile women.
I didn't know that opinions about marriage affected your fertility! I can honestly see that women were happier...or maybe it is just the women that I knew. My aunt's and mom didn't work. They were all very involved SAHM (my mom was until the divorce). But they weren't married to assholes who treated them like they had no value. But then my mom got divorced and her life fell apart because she had no skills to support us. All she ever wanted to be was a mom and she struggled with working...which somehow led to being a completely shitty mom because she turend to alcohol....but I digress...
I can see how women with good home lives were happier back then. I love being a mom and honestly loved taking care of the kids, the house and my husband. What I didn't love was the risk that came with that. I saw what the did to my mom and how we went to poverty...so I would never put myself in that position (good thing since I got divorced!)
But it sucks being a professional and a mom. I always feel like something is losing out. And I can live iwht my job losing out but not my kids. So yes, if not for the risk of financial security, I would totally take the life of a 1950's mom over what I have now.
Granted...all of this might be my stress talking!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:07:11 GMT -5
Maybe her husband can't stand her or the kids and he's quite happy working all the time. Maybe it's not so she has a cushy life, but so he doesn't have to be part of it!
Thanks, Hon! How do I find someone that dislikes me so much that he wants to make a lot of money and support me but never see me? Sounds like a total win for me!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 30, 2016 10:08:06 GMT -5
Maybe her husband can't stand her or the kids and he's quite happy working all the time. Maybe it's not so she has a cushy life, but so he doesn't have to be part of it!
Thanks, Hon! How do I find someone that dislikes me so much that he wants to make a lot of money and support me but never see me? Sounds like a total win for me! Ok...good point.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 30, 2016 10:14:42 GMT -5
I love this: In 1960, women reported themselves happier, on average, than did men. Today this gender gap has reversed: male happiness has gone up, and female happiness has declined. This is true both in America and in the U.K.
But wait, how can women in the postfeminist era be less happy than their mothers were?
Because they’ve been groomed to reject their femininity and to be resentful of men and marriage. The result is a nation of bitter, divorced and infertile women.
I didn't know that opinions about marriage affected your fertility! I can honestly see that women were happier...or maybe it is just the women that I knew. My aunt's and mom didn't work. They were all very involved SAHM (my mom was until the divorce). But they weren't married to assholes who treated them like they had no value. But then my mom got divorced and her life fell apart because she had no skills to support us. All she ever wanted to be was a mom and she struggled with working...which somehow led to being a completely shitty mom because she turend to alcohol....but I digress...
I can see how women with good home lives were happier back then. I love being a mom and honestly loved taking care of the kids, the house and my husband. What I didn't love was the risk that came with that. I saw what the did to my mom and how we went to poverty...so I would never put myself in that position (good thing since I got divorced!)
But it sucks being a professional and a mom. I always feel like something is losing out. And I can live iwht my job losing out but not my kids. So yes, if not for the risk of financial security, I would totally take the life of a 1950's mom over what I have now.
Granted...all of this might be my stress talking!
I don't know if I could say that people were happier back then. There were definitely less choices and appearances were everything, so I can see how people could have appeared to be happier. And yes, there were/are definitely women who get all of their happiness and life from taking care of their home and family. I thought I would be one of them.... HOPED I'd be one of them. But I'm just not. Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than life and I want to make sure I raise him well. I love a clean home and I like cooking and decorating. And I haven't given up on love and possibly a second chance at marriage (and who knows, maybe another kid!). But that is not all I want my life to be. I only had a taste of the SAHP life when I was on maternity leave, and for me it was exhausting in all the wrong ways. I felt isolated and always on edge. That could have been the PPD talking, but idk - that's how I felt. I've gone to some playdate type events on Meetup, and 95% of what these women talk about is their kids. Even at MNO! I just can't imagine that being the only important thing going on in my life. It's not a life I think I'd enjoy, but I'm not going to dog on them for enjoying it. Feminism is about celebrating the plethora of choices we now have. If women choose to be a SAHM, I have no problem with that. If that makes them happy, GREAT! I just can't see that making me happy.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 30, 2016 10:21:35 GMT -5
Back in the 50's, it was pretty clear what you were supposed to be doing. As long as you didn't mind that type of stuff so much, I can see being happier. My current misery stems from being pulled in different directions, feeling that I'm not doing what I'm really supposed to be doing, not even thinking about what I actually enjoy doing. That's been pushed way to the back.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 30, 2016 10:24:03 GMT -5
I do not have time to look up the actual study but I was watching GMA the other day and a study has come out that when men are the sole breadwinners their happiness level DECREASES.
When it is the reverse women's INCREASES.
That sorta flies in the face of the idea that women were happier in the 1960's.
Now I'll admit again I have not read the full study and pulled it apart but it is food for thought.
IMO it's not working vs not working that makes men or women unhappy. I think it's the expectations of our current work cultures that make us all unhappy. It should not be a badge of honor to tell people you work 65+ hours a week and you are "so busy" that you never have time to ::fill in the blank::
Adam Ruins Everything did an episode on workplace culture and it was really interesting.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 30, 2016 10:25:22 GMT -5
I think I'm one of those people who will never truly stop worrying or feeling like I did the wrong thing. If I was home, I'd feel I'm not doing a good enough job dividing my attention to the kids and maybe they are missing out on stuff because I'd hesitate to send them to camp all summer if I'm "just at home". If I'm at work I feel like I can't spend enough time with them. Either way, I am ruining their lives, so I may as well make some money while I'm at it!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:29:29 GMT -5
Back in the 50's, it was pretty clear what you were supposed to be doing. As long as you didn't mind that type of stuff so much, I can see being happier. My current misery stems from being pulled in different directions, feeling that I'm not doing what I'm really supposed to be doing, not even thinking about what I actually enjoy doing. That's been pushed way to the back. I enjoy using my brain at work and being challenged. But I'm not someone that has to work to feel like they add value to this world. If I hit the powerball tonight (since I'm a good YM'r I don't play so that ain't gonna happen) I would quit my job tomorrow and never look back. Working provides financial security and nothing else.
I think I'm at the point where I can no longer do both well...and I refuse to let my kids suffer. So I think I look at women that have a choice with great envy...I never had that choice (I DID technically because my ex didn't want me to work when the kids were born but I saw what happened to my mom and I didn't have sufficient assets in the event of divorce). I don't want a man for his money...I want my own damn money so I can tell my boss to stick his crazy expectations up his ass
I might have issues that I need to work on....lol
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:31:02 GMT -5
I do not have time to look up the actual study but I was watching GMA the other day and a study has come out that when men are the sole breadwinners their happiness level DECREASES. When it is the reverse women's INCREASES. That sorta flies in the face of the idea that women were happier in the 1960's. Now I'll admit again I have not read the full study and pulled it apart but it is food for thought. IMO it's not working vs not working that makes men or women unhappy. I think it's the expectations of our current work cultures that make us all unhappy . It should not be a badge of honor to tell people you work 65+ hours a week and you are "so busy" that you never have time to ::fill in the blank:: Adam Ruins Everything did an episode on workplace culture and it was really interesting. It isn't a badge of honor...but sadly it is a reality for many people in private corporations. Not 65+ hours but definitely a lot more than people should be expected to work. And it is very easy to say "I'm not doing it"...in my company the answer would be "that's fine, but your replacement will".
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 30, 2016 10:32:11 GMT -5
I really think it depends on your personality if you would be "happier" in the 1960s or not. That goes for both men and women. My maternal grandmother had dreams of going to college and becoming an egyptologist but you didn't do that back then. You took a little job like being a secretary for awhile and then promptly quit as you as you had children. My MIL had career ambitions as well but back in the 1960's-70's when she was having children you were fired as soon as you revealed you were pregnant because the assumption was you couldn't do both. It's too late to ask either of my grandfather's their opinion on parenthood and working. I have chatted with my FIL and he has told me on several occassions that if he could go back in time he would have the set up that DH and I have as a dual income household. He missed out on A LOT with his children because he had to work so hard to support the household. He said that's just what you did back then and you didn't question it. Now that he is older and sees the relationship his son has with his children he realizes how much he missed out on and can't ever get back. Then SAHM-ing in the 1960s was not the same as what you are expected to do as a mother now. DH said he NEVER went to Mommy & Me classes or stuff like that when he was a child, he was locked out of the house all day so his mom could clean. You were a wife and housekeeper first, you were not pressured to make your child the center of the universe. I believe the term used nowadays would be "free range kids".
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 30, 2016 10:34:49 GMT -5
I do not have time to look up the actual study but I was watching GMA the other day and a study has come out that when men are the sole breadwinners their happiness level DECREASES. When it is the reverse women's INCREASES. That sorta flies in the face of the idea that women were happier in the 1960's. Now I'll admit again I have not read the full study and pulled it apart but it is food for thought. IMO it's not working vs not working that makes men or women unhappy. I think it's the expectations of our current work cultures that make us all unhappy . It should not be a badge of honor to tell people you work 65+ hours a week and you are "so busy" that you never have time to ::fill in the blank:: Adam Ruins Everything did an episode on workplace culture and it was really interesting. It isn't a badge of honor...but sadly it is a reality for many people in private corporations. Not 65+ hours but definitely a lot more than people should be expected to work. And it is very easy to say "I'm not doing it"...in my company the answer would be "that's fine, but your replacement will". the problem is that NO ONE should be expected to take on all that work. Hire more people. Sure salaries would go down a bit, but burnout would be reduced. Corporate America has decided for us (with our agreement) that we would rather make more money and burn out faster than make less money and retain more sanity.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:37:29 GMT -5
I really think it depends on your personality if you would be "happier" in the 1960s or not. That goes for both men and women. My maternal grandmother had dreams of going to college and becoming an egyptologist but you didn't do that back then. You took a little job like being a secretary for awhile and then promptly quit as you as you had children. My MIL had career ambitions as well but back in the 1960's-70's when she was having children you were fired as soon as you revealed you were pregnant because the assumption was you couldn't do both. It's too late to ask either of my grandfather's their opinion on parenthood and working. I have chatted with my FIL and he has told me on several occassions that if he could go back in time he would have the set up that DH and I have as a dual income household. He missed out on A LOT with his children because he had to work so hard to support the household. He said that's just what you did back then and you didn't question it. Now that he is older and sees the relationship his son has with his children he realizes how much he missed out on and can't ever get back. Then SAHM-ing in the 1960s was not the same as what you are expected to do as a mother now. DH said he NEVER went to Mommy & Me classes or stuff like that when he was a child, he was locked out of the house all day so his mom could clean. You were a wife and housekeeper first, you were not pressured to make your child the center of the universe.
I believe the term used nowadays would be "free range kids". That actually sounds sad. I like my kids and enjoy doing things with them. I always kept my house, cooked, etc. but I never just locked them out of the house. We always did things together. I can't imagine locking them out and not wanting to spend time with them. I agree that some moms go overboard. But if you don't work it doesn't take all day to cook and clean. I know because I've taken time off. There was plenty of time to spend lots of time with the kids and also keep the house clean and cook.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:40:41 GMT -5
It isn't a badge of honor...but sadly it is a reality for many people in private corporations. Not 65+ hours but definitely a lot more than people should be expected to work. And it is very easy to say "I'm not doing it"...in my company the answer would be "that's fine, but your replacement will". the problem is that NO ONE should be expected to take on all that work. Hire more people. Sure salaries would go down a bit, but burnout would be reduced. Corporate America has decided for us (with our agreement) that we would rather make more money and burn out faster than make less money and retain more sanity. I'm not disagreeing with you. And I can only speak to my company but reducing the workload just isn't an option. Surviving is the name of the game.
Today our power is down so I'm not in the office today. I am taking a sort of one-day sabbatical to gather my thoughts. In case you can't tell from my posts, I've had it and almost quit about 3 times in the last month...but I need to do it the right way. So my posts are probably shockingly in favor of being a SAHM...because right now that sounds like heaven to me!
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 30, 2016 10:41:09 GMT -5
Back in the 50's, it was pretty clear what you were supposed to be doing. As long as you didn't mind that type of stuff so much, I can see being happier. My current misery stems from being pulled in different directions, feeling that I'm not doing what I'm really supposed to be doing, not even thinking about what I actually enjoy doing. That's been pushed way to the back. I enjoy using my brain at work and being challenged. But I'm not someone that has to work to feel like they add value to this world. If I hit the powerball tonight (since I'm a good YM'r I don't play so that ain't gonna happen) I would quit my job tomorrow and never look back. Working provides financial security and nothing else.
I think I'm at the point where I can no longer do both well...and I refuse to let my kids suffer. So I think I look at women that have a choice with great envy...I never had that choice (I DID technically because my ex didn't want me to work when the kids were born but I saw what happened to my mom and I didn't have sufficient assets in the event of divorce). I don't want a man for his money...I want my own damn money so I can tell my boss to stick his crazy expectations up his ass
I might have issues that I need to work on....lol
If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be torn either. I can afford to be off to take care of my mom only because my dad left this money, but without the extra funds from that, we would be in the red every month. And the clock is ticking for me to jump back into work, regardless of the financial situation. MY DH doesn't make quite enough for us to afford a SAHS situation. I don't want my mom to die, but that looks to be the only way I'll regain my freedom, take the kids on vacation, have a career, have a life of my own. Go to a party and stay after 9, or 5:30 on a Sunday. It's all giving me major issues--believe me!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 30, 2016 10:44:32 GMT -5
But that's the reality of the 1960s. People like to idolize Leave it To Beaver as the perfect model of family life but you notice that June is not taking Beaver to Mommy and Me classes and Gymboree. He's out in the neighborhood creating TV drama. I'm not saying that my grandparents or in laws never did ANYTHING with their children but the concept of parenting/motherhood was quite a bit different in 50s, 60s and 70s than it is today. Saying that women would be happier as SAHM like in the 1960s does not take into account the fact that cultural norms and expectations regarding parenthood have changed significantly. It's like when people say they wish we could go back to the days of Little House on the Prarie because they've watched the TV show. That doesn't take into account at all the actual realities of living in 1870's Dakota Territory. If time travel WERE possible I am pretty sure a lot of those people would come running back to 2016 pretty quickly. Same with people who wax poetic about being a woman in the 1950's-1960's.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:44:39 GMT -5
I enjoy using my brain at work and being challenged. But I'm not someone that has to work to feel like they add value to this world. If I hit the powerball tonight (since I'm a good YM'r I don't play so that ain't gonna happen) I would quit my job tomorrow and never look back. Working provides financial security and nothing else.
I think I'm at the point where I can no longer do both well...and I refuse to let my kids suffer. So I think I look at women that have a choice with great envy...I never had that choice (I DID technically because my ex didn't want me to work when the kids were born but I saw what happened to my mom and I didn't have sufficient assets in the event of divorce). I don't want a man for his money...I want my own damn money so I can tell my boss to stick his crazy expectations up his ass
I might have issues that I need to work on....lol
If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be torn either. I can afford to be off to take care of my mom only because my dad left this money, but without the extra funds from that, we would be in the red every month. And the clock is ticking for me to jump back into work, regardless of the financial situation. MY DH doesn't make quite enough for us to afford a SAHS situation. I don't want my mom to die, but that looks to be the only way I'll regain my freedom, take the kids on vacation, have a career, have a life of my own. Go to a party and stay after 9, or 5:30 on a Sunday. It's all giving me major issues--believe me! Ugh, I can't even imagine what you are going through. Can you get any kind of respite help?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2016 10:47:42 GMT -5
I enjoy using my brain at work and being challenged. But I'm not someone that has to work to feel like they add value to this world. If I hit the powerball tonight (since I'm a good YM'r I don't play so that ain't gonna happen) I would quit my job tomorrow and never look back. Working provides financial security and nothing else.
I think I'm at the point where I can no longer do both well...and I refuse to let my kids suffer. So I think I look at women that have a choice with great envy...I never had that choice (I DID technically because my ex didn't want me to work when the kids were born but I saw what happened to my mom and I didn't have sufficient assets in the event of divorce). I don't want a man for his money...I want my own damn money so I can tell my boss to stick his crazy expectations up his ass
I might have issues that I need to work on....lol
If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be torn either. I can afford to be off to take care of my mom only because my dad left this money, but without the extra funds from that, we would be in the red every month. And the clock is ticking for me to jump back into work, regardless of the financial situation. MY DH doesn't make quite enough for us to afford a SAHS situation. I don't want my mom to die, but that looks to be the only way I'll regain my freedom, take the kids on vacation, have a career, have a life of my own. Go to a party and stay after 9, or 5:30 on a Sunday. It's all giving me major issues--believe me! Is there no one else to give You a break?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 10:48:25 GMT -5
But that's the reality of the 1960s. People like to idolize Leave it To Beaver as the perfect model of family life but you notice that June is not taking Beaver to Mommy and Me classes and Gymboree. He's out in the neighborhood creating TV drama. I'm not saying that my grandparents or in laws never did ANYTHING with their children but the concept of parenting/motherhood was quite a bit different in 1965-1975 than it is today. Saying that women would be happier as SAHM like in the 1960s does not take into account the fact that cultural norms and expectations regarding parenthood have changed significantly. It's like when people say they wish we could go back to the days of Little House on the Prarie because they've watched the TV show. That doesn't take into account at all the actual realities of living in 1870's Dakota Territory. If time travel WERE possible I am pretty sure a lot of those people would come running back to 2016 pretty quickly. Same with people who wax poetic about being a woman in the 1950's-1960's. I honeslty don't know what would prevent a woman from being with her kids...unless she just didn't want to. Even if the expectations were there for a spotless house and cooked meals, that isn't going to consume 8-10 hours a day. It's just not. The fact that women ignored their kids doesn't mean that they had no choice but to ignore their kids. They had 3 hours of soap operas for a reason....
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giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,158
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Post by giramomma on Aug 30, 2016 10:51:17 GMT -5
I'd rather talk about my kids, especially the peanut, over my day job, to be honest. Large picture at my job, I'm totally not valued. Sure my co-workers like me and all that. But, large scale, until public sentiment turns around about higher education..I work for the enemy. And besides, my work isn't very interesting. No one gets excited over grammar and filing. Those aren't conversation starters. Now, I do like to talk about my teaching clients. Because for the most part, good kids, good families, and I get good stories. The peanut provides me with really, really good stories. This is where I'm valued. I find kids to be terribly interesting. And do you know how many people under the age of 60 enjoy the same hobbies I do? About 20. There's really not much to talk about..because most people don't find my hobbies to be interesting. And, if I revealed myself...people would probably think I was nuts. I also don't find typical younger person behavior to be interesting. Going out to watch Perfect Pitch and then getting drinks? Meh. We don't have cable and I don't really watch a ton of tv anyway. I don't read much, either, which doesn't make me terribly interesting. So, I do talk about my kids, both my bio kids and my clients. Not because I don't have anything in my life. But because honestly, they are really the only thing worth talking about.
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Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 30, 2016 10:57:14 GMT -5
If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be torn either. I can afford to be off to take care of my mom only because my dad left this money, but without the extra funds from that, we would be in the red every month. And the clock is ticking for me to jump back into work, regardless of the financial situation. MY DH doesn't make quite enough for us to afford a SAHS situation. I don't want my mom to die, but that looks to be the only way I'll regain my freedom, take the kids on vacation, have a career, have a life of my own. Go to a party and stay after 9, or 5:30 on a Sunday. It's all giving me major issues--believe me! Ugh, I can't even imagine what you are going through. Can you get any kind of respite help? That's with a lady coming M-F afternoons. It's saving my sanity, but I'm still on 2-3x a day pretty much 365 days a year.
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Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
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Post by Lizard Queen on Aug 30, 2016 10:58:18 GMT -5
If I won the lottery, I wouldn't be torn either. I can afford to be off to take care of my mom only because my dad left this money, but without the extra funds from that, we would be in the red every month. And the clock is ticking for me to jump back into work, regardless of the financial situation. MY DH doesn't make quite enough for us to afford a SAHS situation. I don't want my mom to die, but that looks to be the only way I'll regain my freedom, take the kids on vacation, have a career, have a life of my own. Go to a party and stay after 9, or 5:30 on a Sunday. It's all giving me major issues--believe me! Is there no one else to give You a break? My brother could, but he's too worthless/selfish/spoiled by my mom.
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 30, 2016 11:00:20 GMT -5
I'd rather talk about my kids, especially the peanut, over my day job, to be honest. Large picture at my job, I'm totally not valued. Sure my co-workers like me and all that. But, large scale, until public sentiment turns around about higher education..I work for the enemy. And besides, my work isn't very interesting. No one gets excited over grammar and filing. Those aren't conversation starters. Now, I do like to talk about my teaching clients. Because for the most part, good kids, good families, and I get good stories. The peanut provides me with really, really good stories. This is where I'm valued. I find kids to be terribly interesting. And do you know how many people under the age of 60 enjoy the same hobbies I do? About 20. There's really not much to talk about..because most people don't find my hobbies to be interesting. And, if I revealed myself...people would probably think I was nuts. I also don't find typical younger person behavior to be interesting. Going out to watch Perfect Pitch and then getting drinks? Meh. We don't have cable and I don't really watch a ton of tv anyway. I don't read much, either, which doesn't make me terribly interesting. So, I do talk about my kids, both my bio kids and my clients. Not because I don't have anything in my life. But because honestly, they are really the only thing worth talking about. okay, I see that. I mean I talk about my kiddo a decent amount too, but it's not the only thing I talk about. Well, depending who I'm talking to. At a MNO where I don't know anyone well enough to go full on weirdo yet , I tend to listen and stick to topics that are being brought up (mostly kids). With my best friends, topics run the gamut - food, clothes, exercise, men, sex, family/friends, and yes of course we still dish/vent about our kids.
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Miss Tequila
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Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 30, 2016 11:00:49 GMT -5
Ugh, I can't even imagine what you are going through. Can you get any kind of respite help? That's with a lady coming M-F afternoons. It's saving my sanity, but I'm still on 2-3x a day pretty much 365 days a year. Wow...that's awful. And how shitty that your brother won't help
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