Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 14:43:17 GMT -5
Two people that have known each other for decades "hook up" one night for some no strings attached fun. They have that night, then go on with their lives. Months later, the woman calls the man and tells him she's having his baby in a couple of months. She said she hadn't told him before because she'd just found out herself. He doesn't want anything to do with a baby and is honest about it. He doesn't understand why she's having and keeping a baby when she doesn't even work anymore because she's frequently sick because of a chronic illness, she's already in her late 30's and this is her first child.
He's not a terrible person, so he tries to get use to the idea because the baby is coming and she's keeping it whether he likes it or not. He's there when the baby is born. He's still not a terrible person, so he buys things and helps financially support the baby, but he still doesn't really want to be involved with him. Maybe that part makes him a terrible person after all, I can't make up my mind. Anyway, he tries for a while to force himself to spend time with the baby, hoping it will help him bond with him. Doesn't happen, being around him doesn't move him. His parents are happy to have another grandchild, so they spend time with the baby often. He rarely does so.
The baby is now 18 months old and the father has not moved one step closer to wanting to be involved in his life. He's not ok with how he feels and how he's handling it, but he doesn't know how to make himself feel something else. The mother wants him to act like a Daddy is suppose to act, but he doesn't cooperate with most of her requests to do anything beyond helping financially. It's really strange to me, because it seems like he still treats her like a friend like always, he's not mean when she calls, he's helped her get her car fixed, he's taken her groceries when she was sick...... he just draws the line at the coparenting thing. After all this time, she's just now gotten upset that he won't even publicly acknowledge the baby and I guess maybe she's realizing now that he absolutely meant everything he's said from the beginning about what he didn't want. Personally, I think I would have been offended and upset a long time ago and there'd be nothing for us to talk about, not even money because I'd let the courts handle child support.
The situation really bothers me for the little boy. It's on my mind now because I hadn't heard anything about it in a while and I'd ASSumed the situation had improved but now I know it hasn't. Now I wonder if it would be better if the father just paid child support and cut all ties. Or if it would be better to keep limping along, hoping that one day he'll come around. I don't know if it would be better for the child to never see his father at all or to keep seeing him occasionally and in passing until he's old enough to understand that's his father that he see sometimes and wonder why he doesn't act like a Dad. Seems like that would be even more confusing than no contact at all. Neither scenario is good, but which one is worse? None of this is my problem, but I know the guy and I feel really sad for the little boy.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Aug 14, 2016 14:56:39 GMT -5
It's a tough call. Maybe he will change his mind but he was honest with her up front. He does help financially which is more than a lot of fathers do that don't want a child. Getting pregnant in one night? That's amazing considering how the timing has to be just perfect. Which brings up other thoughts. The fact that he won't buy into her game but still is her friend says a lot.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Aug 14, 2016 14:59:00 GMT -5
I feel sorry for the kid! My biological dad financially was an exceptional father: paid for school, gave money when asked, supported me more than 50% of his share, did not let me starve and sent me to one of the best private schools in Haiti. Per Haitian Culture he was more than descent father because he stepped up financially!
Emotionally he was a horrible father and that is from his childhood because he did not have a good role model. From what I understand from my younger brother he has changed along the years and now in his 60's is better with my younger siblings, tries to be more involved etc. but that was too late for me because I cut ties 13 years ago (emotionally) and never looked back.
Now that he knows I am about to be a father he has made some step towards reconciliation, made efforts to actually call me and reach out to me, ask about the baby etc. still early.... Will I deprive my kids of a relationship with their grandfather? Probably not. But am I open to having a relationship with my father? As I told my mom that ship has sailed a long time ago; When I needed a father he couldn't be bothered...
We will see... I have not been a jerk or been mean to him when he calls and kept it polite. But I am 31 and over it!
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Aug 14, 2016 15:10:11 GMT -5
Some people just aren't cut out for the commitment of being a parent. It doesn't mean they're bad people but they're not going to be good, loving, nurturing parents. He's doing the decent thing with regard to the mother of the child and the financial end of things. That says a lot for him. Now, he just needs to own up to the reality of himself. It sounds like he's stated his feeling honestly to those involved. He has to be just as honest with himself. If he can see the child and treat the child as decent people treat any child, I can't see that as being harmful. He's more a friend than a father, but that's not a bad thing. He may find, as the child gets older, his interest increases - or, he may not. He just needs to accept himself for who he is and do the best he can. There's no more he can do.
|
|
Anne_in_VA
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:09:35 GMT -5
Posts: 5,547
|
Post by Anne_in_VA on Aug 14, 2016 15:11:02 GMT -5
I know someone who got pregnant from a one night stand and the father told her he didn't want to be a father and he's maintained that since she told him. The little boy is now 6 and only sees his dad's parents every other weekend. She's since gotten married and the boy calls her H dad as that's the only dad he's ever known. She also had another baby by someone else before she the 2nd one and he's about 10. He doesn't see his natural father either.
I just don't understand how you can not be on BC if you're sexually active. She had insurance and got an IUD after that, but why not before?
|
|
sesfw
Junior Associate
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 15:45:17 GMT -5
Posts: 6,268
|
Post by sesfw on Aug 14, 2016 15:24:35 GMT -5
It's sad for the little guy.
At least bio-dad is financially supportive and plans to be in the future.
Some day he will have other thoughts about it but it will be too late for a close relationship with his son.
Sad
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 16:25:59 GMT -5
Some people just aren't cut out for the commitment of being a parent. It doesn't mean they're bad people but they're not going to be good, loving, nurturing parents. He's doing the decent thing with regard to the mother of the child and the financial end of things. That says a lot for him. Now, he just needs to own up to the reality of himself. It sounds like he's stated his feeling honestly to those involved. He has to be just as honest with himself. If he can see the child and treat the child as decent people treat any child, I can't see that as being harmful. He's more a friend than a father, but that's not a bad thing. He may find, as the child gets older, his interest increases - or, he may not. He just needs to accept himself for who he is and do the best he can. There's no more he can do. See, that's something else that confuses me. He's been married before and has older kids. I know for a fact that those kids still have him wrapped around their fingers. So it's not like he doesn't have it in him at all, he just doesn't want to do it all over again. I kind of understand because I would have totally freaked out if I got pregnant after I decided I was done having kids. I can't honestly say for sure that I would have felt differently than he does, so I try not to judge him too harshly.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 16:32:35 GMT -5
I feel sorry for the kid! My biological dad financially was an exceptional father: paid for school, gave money when asked, supported me more than 50% of his share, did not let me starve and sent me to one of the best private schools in Haiti. Per Haitian Culture he was more than descent father because he stepped up financially! Emotionally he was a horrible father and that is from his childhood because he did not have a good role model. From what I understand from my younger brother he has changed along the years and now in his 60's is better with my younger siblings, tries to be more involved etc. but that was too late for me because I cut ties 13 years ago (emotionally) and never looked back. Now that he knows I am about to be a father he has made some step towards reconciliation, made efforts to actually call me and reach out to me, ask about the baby etc. still early.... Will I deprive my kids of a relationship with their grandfather? Probably not. But am I open to having a relationship with my father? As I told my mom that ship has sailed a long time ago; When I needed a father he couldn't be bothered... We will see... I have not been a jerk or been mean to him when he calls and kept it polite. But I am 31 and over it! My father didn't do much of anything for me. I decided I was done with him when I was about 14yo and never changed my mind. When he got older and after I had kids, he started trying to reach out to me. I still didn't want anything to do with him. He died when my youngest child was about 10yo. Then I got mad at him all over again for having the nerve to die before I was done being mad at him. I obviously had some unresolved issues lol. My kids never met him.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Aug 14, 2016 16:51:22 GMT -5
I feel sorry for the kid! My biological dad financially was an exceptional father: paid for school, gave money when asked, supported me more than 50% of his share, did not let me starve and sent me to one of the best private schools in Haiti. Per Haitian Culture he was more than descent father because he stepped up financially! Emotionally he was a horrible father and that is from his childhood because he did not have a good role model. From what I understand from my younger brother he has changed along the years and now in his 60's is better with my younger siblings, tries to be more involved etc. but that was too late for me because I cut ties 13 years ago (emotionally) and never looked back. Now that he knows I am about to be a father he has made some step towards reconciliation, made efforts to actually call me and reach out to me, ask about the baby etc. still early.... Will I deprive my kids of a relationship with their grandfather? Probably not. But am I open to having a relationship with my father? As I told my mom that ship has sailed a long time ago; When I needed a father he couldn't be bothered... We will see... I have not been a jerk or been mean to him when he calls and kept it polite. But I am 31 and over it! My father didn't do much of anything for me. I decided I was done with him when I was about 14yo and never changed my mind. When he got older and after I had kids, he started trying to reach out to me. I still didn't want anything to do with him. He died when my youngest child was about 10yo. Then I got mad at him all over again for having the nerve to die before I was done being mad at him. I obviously had some unresolved issues lol. My kids never met him. Oh I was mad for a long time after 18, what pissed me off more was he would never acknowledged the wrongs he had done me. But it was like one day clarity just hit me: he will never change and I was hurting myself by holding on to those things. And I did something better for me than forgiving him, I just gave up on him and did not care: no expectations, no obligations, nothing. I basically just crossed him off and moved on... Someone did ask me how would I feel like if he died? I dunno... But cannot be worse than all the times he hurt me and like those times I will get through it and move on.
|
|
toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,921
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
|
Post by toomuchreality on Aug 14, 2016 17:30:36 GMT -5
I can understand feeling badly for the little boy. I can understand wishing the father felt differently. But I don't see how anyone can really fault the father, more than they do the mother. I am not going to get into it with anyone about the right to life, or abortion. I just think the mother was given all the information and made her choice. Now everyone has to live with the choices she made.
I don't know what the "right" answer is. It's an unfortunate situation.
Life is hard.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Aug 14, 2016 18:02:00 GMT -5
I can understand feeling badly for the little boy. I can understand wishing the father felt differently. But I don't see how anyone can really fault the father, more than they do the mother. I am not going to get into it with anyone about the right to life, or abortion. I just think the mother was given all the information and made her choice. Now everyone has to live with the choices she made. I don't know what the "right" answer is. It's an unfortunate situation. Life is hard. I respectfully disagree because when daddy went for a joy ride without wearing proper protection, the baby had no say in it. Yes baby mother is as much to blame as he is because it takes 2 to tango BUT as the person that contributed 50% of the specimen it took to make the baby he had a duty to such baby not only financially but emotionally. Your relationship with the mother is 1 thing, that is between the two adults. Your kid from that relationship took no part in your 1 night stand and had no say and it is utterly selfish and cruel to think that saying to a kid: I told your mama going in I was not up for this, is an acceptable answer. You are not ready to be a father: WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM.
|
|
taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,942
|
Post by taz157 on Aug 14, 2016 18:08:17 GMT -5
Carl - Would your answer change if he did wear a condom and it didn't break? A former coworker has a DD even though he wore a condom and it didn't break.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Aug 14, 2016 18:12:40 GMT -5
Carl - Would your answer change if he did wear a condom and it didn't break? A former coworker has a DD even though he wore a condom and it didn't break. Did he put the condom on after he started having sex then remembered: pre-semen can get you pregnant. If not I am calling BS on that story; something is missing. How did the semen find its way to the vagina if the condom did not brake? Or do you mean no obvious brake? Because the semen got out or in somehow....
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Aug 14, 2016 18:13:44 GMT -5
I would say pull out but my wife cousin has 3 boys using the pullout method... Obviously her husband was not too good of a judge of when to actually pull out.
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Aug 14, 2016 18:25:17 GMT -5
In an ideal world, if you help create a baby you step up and parent it.
And there is no 100% effective method of birth control other than abstainence. If you don't abstain then don't bitch when someone ends up pregnant.
With that said, sometimes it better for a child to not have a parent who resents them in their life. I can't imagine growing up believing that one of parents resented me. So I think if someone doesn't want to be a parent, then they set-up automatic child support payments and then make the commitment to stay out of the kids life until they are an adult.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 18:27:30 GMT -5
I can understand feeling badly for the little boy. I can understand wishing the father felt differently. But I don't see how anyone can really fault the father, more than they do the mother. I am not going to get into it with anyone about the right to life, or abortion. I just think the mother was given all the information and made her choice. Now everyone has to live with the choices she made. I don't know what the "right" answer is. It's an unfortunate situation. Life is hard. The thing I really think the father is responsible for is having a one night stand without a condom. Regardless of how long he's known her and whatever she might have said about birth control, if anything, imo grown folks ought to know babies aren't the only thing you can get when you're casually mixing and mingling. I dunno, he wasn't some stranger and he's a fairly easy going guy, I'm pretty sure she thought that if she kept the baby he'd just go along with it and help her raise him despite what he said.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Aug 14, 2016 18:33:20 GMT -5
In an ideal world, if you help create a baby you step up and parent it. And there is no 100% effective method of birth control other than abstainence. If you don't abstain then don't bitch when someone ends up pregnant. With that said, sometimes it better for a child to not have a parent who resents them in their life. I can't imagine growing up believing that one of parents resented me. So I think if someone doesn't want to be a parent, then they set-up automatic child support payments and then make the commitment to stay out of the kids life until they are an adult. That is the thing... I have said it before and I will say it again: I truly believe I would have been better off if like my wife my dad had died when I was 2 or ran off after my mom got pregnant and never to be heard from again. You rip the band aid, done! The emotional toll of the person actually being their, interacting with them on a regular and them willingly withholding their love/affection was emotionally a worse toll then if I never had to deal with him to begin with. So I agree this guy need to either disappear totally and send the money in the mail each month or deposit it or step up 100% and be there for his kid vs what he is doing right now. As this kids 31 years later, he is not doing that kid any favors; worse when kid have proof that he is different with his other kids... It is just him he did not want!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 18:39:42 GMT -5
I'm old so you guys can laugh at my notions, but I actually believe that mothers and fathers are wired differently. In nature (talking about mammals here), babies are dependent on the mother. I'm not a biologist so there may be a few species other than humans where the fathers really step up, but not that many.
Paternal love takes more work. It doesn't come as naturally. This guy isn't really a part of his child's life. Yes, it is by his choice. But that feeling isn't just going to come out of nowhere. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. He didn't want to be part of this, and so he isn't a part of this.
Kudos for the guy stepping up financially. it doesn't sound like he had to be forced into it. So he did the right thing according to his values.
The child will get over it. He has a father in name, which is more than a lot of us had. The connection with his paternal grandparents seems to be there so that side of the family hasn't refused to acknowledge him. He will be ok even without being close to his father. Carl is ok. The mother should move on and perhaps another man will fill the parental role in an emotional sense.
It will be fine. I grew up without a father.
ETA: Well, maybe Carl is NOT ok. My father died when I was 5. Grass is always greener, I guess.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 18:43:12 GMT -5
In an ideal world, if you help create a baby you step up and parent it. And there is no 100% effective method of birth control other than abstainence. If you don't abstain then don't bitch when someone ends up pregnant. With that said, sometimes it better for a child to not have a parent who resents them in their life. I can't imagine growing up believing that one of parents resented me. So I think if someone doesn't want to be a parent, then they set-up automatic child support payments and then make the commitment to stay out of the kids life until they are an adult. This is what I lean toward, because I do think he has some resentment. If he does, even if he tries not to let it show, surely his vibe isn't right when he's around him. How does that do anyone any good?
|
|
msventoux
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2011 22:32:37 GMT -5
Posts: 3,037
|
Post by msventoux on Aug 14, 2016 18:59:51 GMT -5
I would be of the step up or step out crowd. I know someone who didn't realize the guy he called Dad wasn't his biological father until after he'd reached adulthood and "Dad" died. He said he could never figure out why his dad resented him so much...it made sense once he knew that the dad resented him because he was the offspring of an affair his mother had. He has tons of issues due to that dynamic. Would probably have been better if the air had been cleared when he was still a child and "Dad" hadn't tried to assume that role.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Aug 14, 2016 19:03:48 GMT -5
I'd be pissed, too, if I was him. She has no right to be resentful because it sure seems like she tricked him by planning it "just right" so she'd get pregnant. Looks like she thought she'd get a commitment out of him and he didn't buy into it and now she's resentful. In her late 30's? She knew what she was doing. She wanted to be a wife and thought becoming a mother would do it. I'd be looking to see if that was really my offspring if I was him. The one who is going to pay is the child. A resentful mother because her trick didn't work and a resentful father who was tricked.
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,571
|
Post by Tennesseer on Aug 14, 2016 19:08:02 GMT -5
If all goes well for this child, other males will step in to be at least good role models. The mother, these potential role models, and the child's paternal grandparents can help the child accept the fact his biological father is just not cut out to be a dad.
The problem I do see is the bio dad having older children in which it sounds like he has at least an okay relationship with them. The young child may have a hard time understanding why the bio dad likes/loves his older children but not him. This will require very delicate work by those in the young noy's world.
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on Aug 14, 2016 19:15:50 GMT -5
I'd be pissed, too, if I was him. She has no right to be resentful because it sure seems like she tricked him by planning it "just right" so she'd get pregnant. Looks like she thought she'd get a commitment out of him and he didn't buy into it and now she's resentful. In her late 30's? She knew what she was doing. She wanted to be a wife and thought becoming a mother would do it. I'd be looking to see if that was really my offspring if I was him. The one who is going to pay is the child. A resentful mother because her trick didn't work and a resentful father who was tricked. Wow.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Aug 14, 2016 20:08:05 GMT -5
So the question of whether a known level of misfortune is preferable to the possibility of hope, which may not bear fruit. This is probably one of those situations where whichever one you got, you might have wished for the other? I'm very sorry for the kid.
|
|
toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 16,921
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
|
Post by toomuchreality on Aug 14, 2016 20:09:46 GMT -5
I can understand feeling badly for the little boy. I can understand wishing the father felt differently. But I don't see how anyone can really fault the father, more than they do the mother. I am not going to get into it with anyone about the right to life, or abortion. I just think the mother was given all the information and made her choice. Now everyone has to live with the choices she made. I don't know what the "right" answer is. It's an unfortunate situation. Life is hard. I respectfully disagree because when daddy went for a joy ride without wearing proper protection, the baby had no say in it. Yes baby mother is as much to blame as he is because it takes 2 to tango BUT as the person that contributed 50% of the specimen it took to make the baby he had a duty to such baby not only financially but emotionally. Your relationship with the mother is 1 thing, that is between the two adults. Your kid from that relationship took no part in your 1 night stand and had no say and it is utterly selfish and cruel to think that saying to a kid: I told your mama going in I was not up for this, is an acceptable answer. You are not ready to be a father: WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM. I don't know what it is that you are disagreeing with me about. I agree, he should have worn a condom. I agree, your relationship with the mother is, or should be separate from that of the child. I also agree the kid took no part in the decision and that it is selfish. I simply said the mother is also at fault.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 14, 2016 20:13:08 GMT -5
I can understand feeling badly for the little boy. I can understand wishing the father felt differently. But I don't see how anyone can really fault the father, more than they do the mother. I am not going to get into it with anyone about the right to life, or abortion. I just think the mother was given all the information and made her choice. Now everyone has to live with the choices she made. I don't know what the "right" answer is. It's an unfortunate situation. Life is hard. I respectfully disagree because when daddy went for a joy ride without wearing proper protection, the baby had no say in it. Yes baby mother is as much to blame as he is because it takes 2 to tango BUT as the person that contributed 50% of the specimen it took to make the baby he had a duty to such baby not only financially but emotionally. Your relationship with the mother is 1 thing, that is between the two adults. Your kid from that relationship took no part in your 1 night stand and had no say and it is utterly selfish and cruel to think that saying to a kid: I told your mama going in I was not up for this, is an acceptable answer. You are not ready to be a father: WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM. And if the condom broke? We are told all the time that female bc fails. Well condoms do, too Im actually torn on this. As a mom I can't imagine not wanting anything to with my child. But, I also don't agree that a woman is the only one that gets a say. If the woman involved didn't want to be a mom she could get an abortion. The man who got her pregnant has to abide by what the woman wants. Im not ok with that
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 20:16:47 GMT -5
I do think men get the short end of the stick with not being able to have a say in whether they want to actually parent. A woman can be careless when having sex and then choose not to but the man is forced into it. More reason to instill in my sons the importance of using a condom.
I didn't have a dad growing up. My dad was drafted to Vietnam 6 weeks before I was born and didn't return until I was 2. Apparently my Mom couldn't wait and moved on and they were divorced soon after his return. He moved to where his job was a couple hours away, remarried and started a new family. He thought it would be easier if he was just never around (although I did see him once a year on Christmas Eve until I was about 10). I really never gave this a lot of thought growing up, nor was I ever angry at him. When I was in my early 30's and pregnant with my first, he returned to reestablish a relationship. He and my stepmom have been incredible. They are the absolute best grandparents my boys could ever have and are very involved with them. I now am very close with them and my half brother and half sister and their families. Shit happens and you do what you think is best at the time.
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Aug 14, 2016 20:36:57 GMT -5
Carl - Would your answer change if he did wear a condom and it didn't break? A former coworker has a DD even though he wore a condom and it didn't break. Did he put the condom on after he started having sex then remembered: pre- semen can get you pregnant. If not I am calling BS on that story; something is missing. How did the semen find its way to the vagina if the condom did not brake? Or do you mean no obvious brake? Because the semen got out or in somehow.. And that's not including user error
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Aug 14, 2016 20:44:27 GMT -5
I think, if he can decide what he is willing to do with the kid and consistently stick to it, that would be better for the kid then just disappearing. Yeah, he might never have a dad coach his little league, but lets say instead the dad takes one day out of the month to do something with the kid. While being fully involved would be best, I would think consistent, small involvement doing what he can is better than disappearing.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 7:19:10 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 21:28:22 GMT -5
Not my sore subject again You cannot make a dad from a guy who doesn't want to be, even if you were married, even if you both wanted the kid, even if he has other kids he is a dad to...
|
|