zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 6, 2016 16:38:12 GMT -5
So I went up north to get my stuff. For those who don't know, DH's will said everything goes into his trust. Including items he verbally said he wanted the kids to have. But legal paper trumps verbal. So in order for the kids or me to have anything we had to buy it from the estate. Now I don't care because there's no emotions attached to his mother's jewelry or his watches but he wanted the kids to have them. They appraised high. So even though they have been getting money and will continue to get money, they don't want to pay for them. So I can either keep them safe until I die or I don't know what. So I told trustee to just give them to them now. It's what DH would have wanted anyway. In the meantime there's a picture DH had in his office. No one wants it but me. But trustee says I might have to pay for it. I'm not amused.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Apr 6, 2016 16:42:39 GMT -5
So I went up north to get my stuff. For those who don't know, DH's will said everything goes into his trust. Including items he verbally said he wanted the kids to have. But legal paper trumps verbal. So in order for the kids or me to have anything we had to buy it from the estate. Now I don't care because there's no emotions attached to his mother's jewelry or his watches but he wanted the kids to have them. They appraised high. So even though they have been getting money and will continue to get money, they don't want to pay for them. So I can either keep them safe until I die or I don't know what. So I told trustee to just give them to them now. It's what DH would have wanted anyway. In the meantime there's a picture DH had in his office. No one wants it but me. But trustee says I might have to pay for it. I'm not amused. Unbelievable! "Borrow" it and get it copied and then return it. But you'll probably still need to buy a new frame unless you already have one you like that it will fit. (((Hugs)))
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 6, 2016 16:47:39 GMT -5
It's a Neiman
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 6, 2016 17:06:23 GMT -5
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 6, 2016 17:35:33 GMT -5
That is ridiculous!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Apr 6, 2016 17:44:34 GMT -5
Zib I have no advice but I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.
Was your name on ANYTHING? Is there anything you could sell so you could use the money to buy the things you want for yourself and your kids from the estate?
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Apr 6, 2016 17:55:58 GMT -5
Sorry you're going through this. Try to get it all done and move on. (I know, easier said than done)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 6, 2016 20:13:30 GMT -5
Zib I have no advice but I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Was your name on ANYTHING? Is there anything you could sell so you could use the money to buy the things you want for yourself and your kids from the estate? Nope. But my lawyer is trying to overturn the prenup bcuz DH didn't disclose everything which would give me 1/3. He's using that as leverage to get me some cash. We'll see.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Apr 6, 2016 20:32:42 GMT -5
Sorry you're dealing with this, Zib. In all decency, the trustee should at least have explored the possibility of a "trade" of the picture for the jewelry you were willing to relinquish.
I hope a sensible, equitable solution can be reached so you can have a respite and a bright spot in the midst of all the stress.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 6, 2016 20:59:18 GMT -5
I hope so as well.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Apr 7, 2016 9:57:36 GMT -5
OMG Zib. I have nothing constructive to say but to give you sympathy.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 7, 2016 10:53:23 GMT -5
It's one of golfers.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2016 11:09:48 GMT -5
Zib I have no advice but I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Was your name on ANYTHING? Is there anything you could sell so you could use the money to buy the things you want for yourself and your kids from the estate? Nope. But my lawyer is trying to overturn the prenup bcuz DH didn't disclose everything which would give me 1/3. He's using that as leverage to get me some cash. We'll see. I know nothing about prenups or estates but I find this underhanded. If you signed a prenup that you didn't want anything then I don't like loopholes to get around that. I very well might forget something when I'm filling out financial paperwork. It would be an oversight and not intentional. But the spirit of the prenup is that you signed your rights away to anything he owned. I don't know why your attorney would be able to change that.
And this is why I don't know that I would ever remarry again. I want what is mine to remain mine and pass to my children. I would have thought a prenup would solve that issue but apparently attorneys can find a way around that...that displeases me very much
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 7, 2016 11:59:22 GMT -5
I can see family heirlooms, money, anything valuable having to go thru the trust. But a painting nobody wants and will probably end up at Goodwill?
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Apr 7, 2016 12:03:44 GMT -5
get swamp on the case. She will bust up that trust quicker than you can say missed Zumba appointment and poptarts for dinner.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 7, 2016 12:16:16 GMT -5
Swamp is in the wrong state.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Apr 7, 2016 12:19:00 GMT -5
Swamp is in the wrong state. Swamp covers all states.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Apr 7, 2016 12:56:01 GMT -5
So I went up north to get my stuff. For those who don't know, DH's will said everything goes into his trust. Including items he verbally said he wanted the kids to have. But legal paper trumps verbal. So in order for the kids or me to have anything we had to buy it from the estate. Now I don't care because there's no emotions attached to his mother's jewelry or his watches but he wanted the kids to have them. They appraised high. So even though they have been getting money and will continue to get money, they don't want to pay for them. So I can either keep them safe until I die or I don't know what. So I told trustee to just give them to them now. It's what DH would have wanted anyway. In the meantime there's a picture DH had in his office. No one wants it but me. But trustee says I might have to pay for it. I'm not amused. I'm not following this at all. Why would it have been up to you to keep the jewelry safe until you die? In one sentence it sounds like you control the items in the estate (you would have had to take charge of the jewelry - you told the trustee to give it to the kids), and in the next you don't (the trustee is telling you that you would have to pay for the painting). So which is it? Who is in charge here?
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Apr 7, 2016 13:35:44 GMT -5
Nope. But my lawyer is trying to overturn the prenup bcuz DH didn't disclose everything which would give me 1/3. He's using that as leverage to get me some cash. We'll see. I know nothing about prenups or estates but I find this underhanded. If you signed a prenup that you didn't want anything then I don't like loopholes to get around that. I very well might forget something when I'm filling out financial paperwork. It would be an oversight and not intentional. But the spirit of the prenup is that you signed your rights away to anything he owned. I don't know why your attorney would be able to change that.
And this is why I don't know that I would ever remarry again. I want what is mine to remain mine and pass to my children. I would have thought a prenup would solve that issue but apparently attorneys can find a way around that...that displeases me very much
But the prenup had to have been freely signed knowing everything. Zib was supposed to get the life insurance. Instead she got a lease on a car and apartment she didn't want or need while his ex got the life insurance. Seriously in no way would that be okay with me. Either it is all fair and disclosed or none of it counts to me and the estate can equally share all the assets and liabilities. I would not willingly give them all the assets while I got stuck with the liabilities.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Apr 7, 2016 14:31:51 GMT -5
He might have had a spillover provision that said whatever he owned, not specifically named, belonged to the trust. Then it had to follow the rules of how to distribute his goods. Yeah, but I'm a family Trust Administrator, and I can tell you (and this is an important distinction!!) that under the guidance of an attorney familiar with the Trust, it is VERY possible to have SOME level of flexibility.
For example: when talking about distribution of assets, it is very possible to negotiate and take an item (like jewelry) instead of cash. Unless it is specifically stated or otherwise disallowed in the Trust papers, who says it has to all be converted to cash first? Who says the beneficiaries have to purchase the item instead of letting it be sold and taking cash? Sounds like this administrator has flexibility issues. Or (unfortunately ) Zib issues
For zibazinski : I feel for you. I think you are getting a rotten deal. I don't blame you for pursuing other avenues through an attorney.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Apr 7, 2016 14:59:54 GMT -5
That sounds like a real pain Zib. My thoughts are with you.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Apr 7, 2016 15:09:45 GMT -5
I can see family heirlooms, money, anything valuable having to go thru the trust. But a painting nobody wants and will probably end up at Goodwill? It's a Nieman. www.leroyneiman.com/If it's a signed print or anything better than a photocopy, it should never end up at Goodwill.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Apr 7, 2016 15:16:57 GMT -5
So I went up north to get my stuff. For those who don't know, DH's will said everything goes into his trust. Including items he verbally said he wanted the kids to have. But legal paper trumps verbal. So in order for the kids or me to have anything we had to buy it from the estate. Now I don't care because there's no emotions attached to his mother's jewelry or his watches but he wanted the kids to have them. They appraised high. So even though they have been getting money and will continue to get money, they don't want to pay for them. So I can either keep them safe until I die or I don't know what. So I told trustee to just give them to them now. It's what DH would have wanted anyway. In the meantime there's a picture DH had in his office. No one wants it but me. But trustee says I might have to pay for it. I'm not amused. I'm not following this at all. Why would it have been up to you to keep the jewelry safe until you die? In one sentence it sounds like you control the items in the estate (you would have had to take charge of the jewelry - you told the trustee to give it to the kids), and in the next you don't (the trustee is telling you that you would have to pay for the painting). So which is it? Who is in charge here? That confused me too.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 7, 2016 16:09:43 GMT -5
Because I'm supposed to have use or control of everything until I died. DH left nothing specifically to anyone, all to the trust. But I'm supposed to be beneficiary of the trust. Except the trust has nothing in it, yet. I would be responsible until I died for jewelry that means nothing to me and a lot to DH. The kids wouldn't pay for them so I'm allowed to give it to them. So I did. But in return I want that picture. The trustee needs to show me the good faith I showed in giving the watches and rings by giving me the painting. In my opinion. No one else wants it but me. I get the prenup issue and I agree it's not right but I was supposed to be taken care of until I died then the rest to the kids and until that happens, I'm not backing off. Neither is my lawyer.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 7, 2016 16:14:30 GMT -5
Nope. But my lawyer is trying to overturn the prenup bcuz DH didn't disclose everything which would give me 1/3. He's using that as leverage to get me some cash. We'll see. I know nothing about prenups or estates but I find this underhanded. If you signed a prenup that you didn't want anything then I don't like loopholes to get around that. I very well might forget something when I'm filling out financial paperwork. It would be an oversight and not intentional. But the spirit of the prenup is that you signed your rights away to anything he owned. I don't know why your attorney would be able to change that.
And this is why I don't know that I would ever remarry again. I want what is mine to remain mine and pass to my children. I would have thought a prenup would solve that issue but apparently attorneys can find a way around that...that displeases me very much
My prenup states in case of divorce I end up with what we agreed on but in case of death while married, that ends it. I didn't see that I signed away my dower right but then again, he didn't disclose all assets either or do the life insurance policy so he's in violation and the prenup can be held invalid. We will see. As long as I get what I was promised until I die, I'm cool.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2016 16:46:02 GMT -5
I know nothing about prenups or estates but I find this underhanded. If you signed a prenup that you didn't want anything then I don't like loopholes to get around that. I very well might forget something when I'm filling out financial paperwork. It would be an oversight and not intentional. But the spirit of the prenup is that you signed your rights away to anything he owned. I don't know why your attorney would be able to change that.
And this is why I don't know that I would ever remarry again. I want what is mine to remain mine and pass to my children. I would have thought a prenup would solve that issue but apparently attorneys can find a way around that...that displeases me very much
My prenup states in case of divorce I end up with what we agreed on but in case of death while married, that ends it. I didn't see that I signed away my dower right but then again, he didn't disclose all assets either or do the life insurance policy so he's in violation and the prenup can be held invalid. We will see. As long as I get what I was promised until I die, I'm cool. the prenup mandated an insurance policy with you as the beneficiary? Yep...Im never getting married! I would not be happy if someone went after my kids when I leave my assets to them. Anyone i marry would know up front that Im leaving my estate to my children. This proves that prenups aren't worth the paper they are written on. Why people with substantial assets continue To marry is beyond me
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2016 16:48:56 GMT -5
I know nothing about prenups or estates but I find this underhanded. If you signed a prenup that you didn't want anything then I don't like loopholes to get around that. I very well might forget something when I'm filling out financial paperwork. It would be an oversight and not intentional. But the spirit of the prenup is that you signed your rights away to anything he owned. I don't know why your attorney would be able to change that.
And this is why I don't know that I would ever remarry again. I want what is mine to remain mine and pass to my children. I would have thought a prenup would solve that issue but apparently attorneys can find a way around that...that displeases me very much
But the prenup had to have been freely signed knowing everything. Zib was supposed to get the life insurance. Instead she got a lease on a car and apartment she didn't want or need while his ex got the life insurance. Seriously in no way would that be okay with me. Either it is all fair and disclosed or none of it counts to me and the estate can equally share all the assets and liabilities. I would not willingly give them all the assets while I got stuck with the liabilities. The lease is in his name as I understand it. Turn the car in and move and poof, liabilities are gone
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Apr 7, 2016 16:51:43 GMT -5
Because I'm supposed to have use or control of everything until I died. DH left nothing specifically to anyone, all to the trust. But I'm supposed to be beneficiary of the trust. Except the trust has nothing in it, yet. I would be responsible until I died for jewelry that means nothing to me and a lot to DH. The kids wouldn't pay for them so I'm allowed to give it to them. So I did. But in return I want that picture. The trustee needs to show me the good faith I showed in giving the watches and rings by giving me the painting. In my opinion. No one else wants it but me. I get the prenup issue and I agree it's not right but I was supposed to be taken care of until I died then the rest to the kids and until that happens, I'm not backing off. Neither is my lawyer. You are nicer than me. I would have held onto everything until I had that picture and everything else I am entitled to. Sorry you have to go through all this. IME, these "take care of you till you die" and "life estates" never work out. Either the other family members are too greedy or the beneficiary can't hold up their end of the bargain (not meaning you in any way, just in general).
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 7, 2016 16:54:03 GMT -5
Anyway, I'd like to get the Neiman. Hopefully it happens.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2016 17:00:56 GMT -5
A trustee has legal obligations to follow the terms of the trust and protect the corpus of the trust. It is not the trustees problem if you disclaimed your right to lifetime use of the jewelry or other items. In that event they go to the beneficiaries of the trust outright, if that is what the trust provides. Obviously the terms of this trust control everything, but, in general terms I dont believe a trustee can horse trade with you to release items early and in return give you ownership of a potentially valuable trust asset, like a painting. You made the decision about the jewelry and personal items. It is not up to the trustee to give you anything that is not laid out in detail in the trust or to reward you for anything. If it was me, unless the trust has very significant assets, I would give it some thought before I exhausted the estate by piling up the attorney fees to fight over a prenup. Just curious: How long were you married? What is the value of the estate/trust? Did you bring anything to the marriage in the way of assets? Who supported whom and in what percentages during the marriage? She was married a very short amount of time and I think that is my biggest issue with suing the trust. I can see a wife of 30 years suing but Im pretty sure they weren't married a year. Things like this make me realize that the only way to protect ones assets is to never remarry.
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