NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 6, 2016 17:24:42 GMT -5
I work as hard at doing nothing as I do when I'm doing something important. As was mentioned on page 1 I know some people who just create tons of busy stuff that really serves no purpose. I wonder if it's because they feel guilty not working so it makes them feel important/needed? I have a neighbor who's canned answer is always Busy, Busy, Busy when people ask her how she's doing. Her DH said to me once "Yeah. Busy playing Texas Hold'em on the computer every day". She'd kill him if she knew he told me that but she did tell me when he wrote "Dust Me" on her table it pissed her off. I love her DH. He's so honest and real even if it pisses people off and I can relate to that. I tell folks to feel free to write their names in dust on furniture just don't date it.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 6, 2016 17:49:54 GMT -5
Dust...ing? What's that?
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Apr 6, 2016 22:12:50 GMT -5
If there are 2 parents and they are both working full-time with kids, I don't know how they could possibly not be busy. We have 3 kids and are day is pretty much wake up, work-out early, wife leaves for work, I drop kids off and go to work at 8:30, wife picks up kids at 4:30, I get home at 5:30. We eat dinner, play around, make lunches for the next day, put our kids to bed around 8:15, watch TV for a bit and then go to bed.
I really only have my oldest son in activities at this point, but he has soccer practice on Tuesdays, he has swimming lessons on Wed, he does church club on wed nights, and he has soccer games on Saturday mornings. Once we get the others involved in some stuff, I can't imagine how much running around we'll do.
I get crap from work friends that I should participate in the bowling league or go out after work, but that's just not super appealing at this stage of my life. If I'm away from my kids the entire day, I don't want to go out after work and then basically not see my kids all day. We have friends that go out almost every weekend, but I don't really want to get in the habit of getting a babysitter and heading out. We do it occasionally, but not every weekend....not even every month.
I'm honestly not really sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. If people saw me with groups of people, they'd say I'm an extrovert but I'm not the type of person that really needs to be out with friends on a regular basis. So I wouldn't put something like a standing group outing as a super high priority in the grand scheme of things.
I've noticed that most people my age gravitate towards hanging out with neighbors since they are right there.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 7, 2016 9:00:09 GMT -5
I get crap from work friends that I should participate in the bowling league or go out after work, but that's just not super appealing at this stage of my life.
That's the same problem we're having. In our case a lot of the adult activities we're invited to still involve at least one person getting drunk (usually more).
I've never been into drinking and DH doesn't want to add alcoholism to his list. It's fun once in a blue moon but not something we want to do every weekend.
People argue with us if we tell them we aren't interested because we don't drink. We are perfectly aware that "we don't have to drink if we don't want to".
The other part of the story is we are not interested in hanging around you when you're drunk. It was entertaining when we were younger to watch drunk people but at this stage of our lives we'd rather do something else.
We have to see these people on a regular basis, so I am not going to create drama by sharing the above. "We're busy" keeps the peace.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 7, 2016 9:28:50 GMT -5
I never socialized with co-workers after hours. I didn't want to hear the next morning "I know what you did last night"
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Apr 7, 2016 9:50:16 GMT -5
If there are 2 parents and they are both working full-time with kids, I don't know how they could possibly not be busy. We have 3 kids and are day is pretty much wake up, work-out early, wife leaves for work, I drop kids off and go to work at 8:30, wife picks up kids at 4:30, I get home at 5:30. We eat dinner, play around, make lunches for the next day, put our kids to bed around 8:15, watch TV for a bit and then go to bed. I really only have my oldest son in activities at this point, but he has soccer practice on Tuesdays, he has swimming lessons on Wed, he does church club on wed nights, and he has soccer games on Saturday mornings. Once we get the others involved in some stuff, I can't imagine how much running around we'll do. I get crap from work friends that I should participate in the bowling league or go out after work, but that's just not super appealing at this stage of my life. If I'm away from my kids the entire day, I don't want to go out after work and then basically not see my kids all day. We have friends that go out almost every weekend, but I don't really want to get in the habit of getting a babysitter and heading out. We do it occasionally, but not every weekend....not even every month. I'm honestly not really sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. If people saw me with groups of people, they'd say I'm an extrovert but I'm not the type of person that really needs to be out with friends on a regular basis. So I wouldn't put something like a standing group outing as a super high priority in the grand scheme of things. I've noticed that most people my age gravitate towards hanging out with neighbors since they are right there. I am dreading weekday activities...I really enjoy coming home and putting my pajamas on. I don't want to have to be "on" until 8pm.
Right now the kids each do one Saturday activity but you get to about 6 years old and it seems like stuff is 1 weekday plus 1 weekend day. Many sad faces.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 7, 2016 10:10:18 GMT -5
I'm on maternity leave right now so obviously everyone thinks I have loads of time to do stuff. Even my dad asked me what I do all day. My co-worker asked me if I could go to dinner next week. I had to decline. The 5-8 pm hour is especially challenging with a 2-week old who nurses, an almost 2 year old and 4 year old. My husband would definitely step up for me to go out, but I don't think I can do that to him. And, if I wait until they're all in bed, it's too late to go out. I'd take the newborn with me, but nobody is especially interested in me toting kids along.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Apr 7, 2016 14:58:25 GMT -5
If there are 2 parents and they are both working full-time with kids, I don't know how they could possibly not be busy. We have 3 kids and are day is pretty much wake up, work-out early, wife leaves for work, I drop kids off and go to work at 8:30, wife picks up kids at 4:30, I get home at 5:30. We eat dinner, play around, make lunches for the next day, put our kids to bed around 8:15, watch TV for a bit and then go to bed. I really only have my oldest son in activities at this point, but he has soccer practice on Tuesdays, he has swimming lessons on Wed, he does church club on wed nights, and he has soccer games on Saturday mornings. Once we get the others involved in some stuff, I can't imagine how much running around we'll do. I get crap from work friends that I should participate in the bowling league or go out after work, but that's just not super appealing at this stage of my life. If I'm away from my kids the entire day, I don't want to go out after work and then basically not see my kids all day. We have friends that go out almost every weekend, but I don't really want to get in the habit of getting a babysitter and heading out. We do it occasionally, but not every weekend....not even every month. I'm honestly not really sure if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. If people saw me with groups of people, they'd say I'm an extrovert but I'm not the type of person that really needs to be out with friends on a regular basis. So I wouldn't put something like a standing group outing as a super high priority in the grand scheme of things. I've noticed that most people my age gravitate towards hanging out with neighbors since they are right there. I am dreading weekday activities...I really enjoy coming home and putting my pajamas on. I don't want to have to be "on" until 8pm.
Right now the kids each do one Saturday activity but you get to about 6 years old and it seems like stuff is 1 weekday plus 1 weekend day. Many sad faces.
I can push myself through as long as it's right after work (which most stuff is), but for things like the church group, that is where it gets brutal. You drop off at 7:00 and have to pickup at 8:30, which is just brutal. I'm not really sure how parents deal with the travel stuff. Even rec league soccer is 1 practice/1 game and baseball is usually a 2 day or 3 day a week obligation (all during the week). The only thing that I can think is that they eventually get to that age where they are a little less physically demanding and more mentally demanding.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 7, 2016 15:15:06 GMT -5
I can push myself through as long as it's right after work (which most stuff is), but for things like the church group, that is where it gets brutal. You drop off at 7:00 and have to pickup at 8:30, which is just brutal. I'm not really sure how parents deal with the travel stuff. Even rec league soccer is 1 practice/1 game and baseball is usually a 2 day or 3 day a week obligation (all during the week). The only thing that I can think is that they eventually get to that age where they are a little less physically demanding and more mentally demanding. I saw the Tae Kwon Do van pick up right at the elementary school bus loop as the elementary school was getting out, which is 2:15 where I live. I thought, how amazingly convenient if they are able to get to their activities directly from school and all you have to do is go get them at 5ish. And, because I was curious, it looks like they are pretty flexible with pick-up and can be anytime before 6. When my kids are in grade school, I may be exploring these types of activities that take advantage of the time after school/before work is out- and still leave the weekends un-scheduled.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 7, 2016 22:25:54 GMT -5
We're the opposite. We really enjoyed having the kids do their think on weekdays. That left the weekends for family time. IMVHO, it's nicer to have a whole day for family time then to try and squeeze it in during the hustle/bustle of the week. Even in 4k-1st grade, where my kids really just went to school and came home...they were exhausted from the school day, and not up do doing outings, etc. after school. Our little league program re-did their game schedule so the kids have games every other weekend during the summer program. We also are in the "it takes a village" camp and try to arrange carpools as we can. That cuts down on the amount of driving.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Apr 8, 2016 6:00:05 GMT -5
I can push myself through as long as it's right after work (which most stuff is), but for things like the church group, that is where it gets brutal. You drop off at 7:00 and have to pickup at 8:30, which is just brutal. I'm not really sure how parents deal with the travel stuff. Even rec league soccer is 1 practice/1 game and baseball is usually a 2 day or 3 day a week obligation (all during the week). The only thing that I can think is that they eventually get to that age where they are a little less physically demanding and more mentally demanding. I saw the Tae Kwon Do van pick up right at the elementary school bus loop as the elementary school was getting out, which is 2:15 where I live. I thought, how amazingly convenient if they are able to get to their activities directly from school and all you have to do is go get them at 5ish. And, because I was curious, it looks like they are pretty flexible with pick-up and can be anytime before 6. When my kids are in grade school, I may be exploring these types of activities that take advantage of the time after school/before work is out- and still leave the weekends un-scheduled. I've looked into that because I had another friend tell me about after school karate but we don't have anything like that close to me. My kids will end up going to a YMCA after school program where I believe they will do activities and homework but not something specific like soccer or karate.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Apr 8, 2016 6:33:03 GMT -5
Dusting is what happens when you hire a cleaning service to take care of your house. Clean sheets is what happens when the cleaning ladies put fresh sheets on the beds. Same thing goes for microwaves that are clean inside, ceiling fans are spotless, and bathrooms just sparkle.
Try it, you'll like it!
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violagirl
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Post by violagirl on Apr 8, 2016 20:57:07 GMT -5
I wonder how super busy people do it. I do not have the energy to be involved in multiple activities. The last thing I want to do at the end of a workday is to go "out". I want to go home, walk the dogs, get in my jammies....that's it.
I say I"m not busy, but then work 50-70 hours a week, am doing a Master's degree and do several hours of volunteer work a week and I consider myself low energy. It is a matter of perception I guess.
In my mind what the difference is is commitment. The idea of commiting time to too many things is stressful. I need time to sit and daydream. I do know people that definitely never sit nor daydream though so I guess they get a lot done.
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jelloshots4all
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Post by jelloshots4all on Apr 8, 2016 23:49:22 GMT -5
Dusting is what happens when you hire a cleaning service to take care of your house. Clean sheets is what happens when the cleaning ladies put fresh sheets on the beds. Same thing goes for microwaves that are clean inside, ceiling fans are spotless, and bathrooms just sparkle.
Try it, you'll like it!
I'm thinking about going weekly with my cleaning service as opposed to bi-weekly!! I ain't got time for that crap I HATE doing!!
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Apr 9, 2016 6:32:40 GMT -5
It's just me living in my house, and actually I have plenty of time to keep it clean, I just don't want to bother with it.
I have the ladies come every 4 weeks @ $142 per time. It might not be YM approved, however, I have other things I want to be doing instead.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Apr 10, 2016 20:11:46 GMT -5
I saw this on the Facebook today, and I thought of this thread.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Apr 11, 2016 12:43:13 GMT -5
I get crap from work friends that I should participate in the bowling league or go out after work, but that's just not super appealing at this stage of my life.
That's the same problem we're having. In our case a lot of the adult activities we're invited to still involve at least one person getting drunk (usually more). I've never been into drinking and DH doesn't want to add alcoholism to his list. It's fun once in a blue moon but not something we want to do every weekend. People argue with us if we tell them we aren't interested because we don't drink. We are perfectly aware that "we don't have to drink if we don't want to". The other part of the story is we are not interested in hanging around you when you're drunk. It was entertaining when we were younger to watch drunk people but at this stage of our lives we'd rather do something else. We have to see these people on a regular basis, so I am not going to create drama by sharing the above. "We're busy" keeps the peace. My wife and all her friends thought my friends and I over-did the drinking when we were in HS, college, and the years after college. Once all my friends had kids, we all still drink but it's not the centerpiece of every event. My wife's friends are almost the opposite in a lot of ways. They weren't huge drinkers in college, but now they all live in the area and I think have really started to like the "wine and book club" type atmosphere that some of the neighborhoods have. As a result, when we got out on a big group dinner or something, there will be a couple or two that will drink before getting to dinner and then continue to drink throughout. I don't really mind that as long as they can hold their liquor, but they end up being just the most annoying group of people. When I was younger, the dad's drank normal beer like Old Style and the mom's (if they drank at all) drank crappy wine. Like if you look at facebook, it's all these soccer moms posting something about Wine and now it's much more popular to drink craft beer and bourbon and stuff like that. As a result, everyone is getting more drunk and more annoying. Around here, people routinely walk around with drinks on Halloween which I find really strange. I don't know....I actually REALLY love to drink, but I limit drinking cause I like to keep bad habits in check and I want to set a good example for my kids.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Apr 11, 2016 12:48:46 GMT -5
LOL, I thought I was really stuck up but the random public Mom and Dad drinking during a kid holiday event annoys me too.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Apr 11, 2016 12:51:27 GMT -5
I get crap from work friends that I should participate in the bowling league or go out after work, but that's just not super appealing at this stage of my life.
That's the same problem we're having. In our case a lot of the adult activities we're invited to still involve at least one person getting drunk (usually more). I've never been into drinking and DH doesn't want to add alcoholism to his list. It's fun once in a blue moon but not something we want to do every weekend. People argue with us if we tell them we aren't interested because we don't drink. We are perfectly aware that "we don't have to drink if we don't want to". The other part of the story is we are not interested in hanging around you when you're drunk. It was entertaining when we were younger to watch drunk people but at this stage of our lives we'd rather do something else. We have to see these people on a regular basis, so I am not going to create drama by sharing the above. "We're busy" keeps the peace. Around here, people routinely walk around with drinks on Halloween which I find really strange. I don't know....I actually REALLY love to drink, but I limit drinking cause I like to keep bad habits in check and I want to set a good example for my kids. That is me and my neighbors... we bring a cooler in a wagon. Then when we get back in from the night and the kids go to bed we light the fire in the backyard and keep it going.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Apr 11, 2016 13:02:19 GMT -5
I saw this on the Facebook today, and I thought of this thread.
Thanks, Underwater Chloe!! I'm not lazy, I am living a meaningful life!!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 11, 2016 13:08:04 GMT -5
Around here, people routinely walk around with drinks on Halloween which I find really strange. I don't know....I actually REALLY love to drink, but I limit drinking cause I like to keep bad habits in check and I want to set a good example for my kids. That is me and my neighbors... we bring a cooler in a wagon. Then when we get back in from the night and the kids go to bed we light the fire in the backyard and keep it going. Good for you. I think it's great when parents can still have a good time. I always think fondly of the couple down the street who were sitting on their front steps, enjoying a Halloween evening with wine while handing out candy. Their kids are teenagers and were out. I thought it was nice that they didn't need a party to enjoy some adult beverages and each other's company. I abstain only because my mornings start way too early and the thought of dealing with kids and a hangover scares the crap out of me.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Apr 11, 2016 14:55:10 GMT -5
I don't know about Ryan but for me it isn't that I don't think people should drink and have a good time. It's more about how walking around on a public road drinking is still illegal isn't it? However blatantly ignoring rules in the presence of your kids is ok because it's your upper middle class "neighborhood" or cul-de-sac.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Apr 11, 2016 14:56:23 GMT -5
I don't know about Ryan but for me it isn't that I don't think people should drink and have a good time. It's more about how walking around on a public road drinking is still illegal isn't it? However blatantly ignoring rules in the presence of your kids is ok because it's your upper middle class "neighborhood" or cul-de-sac. How else will our kids learn they are better than everyone else?
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Miss Tequila
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too busy
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 11, 2016 20:19:01 GMT -5
I don't know about Ryan but for me it isn't that I don't think people should drink and have a good time. It's more about how walking around on a public road drinking is still illegal isn't it? However blatantly ignoring rules in the presence of your kids is ok because it's your upper middle class "neighborhood" or cul-de-sac. White privilege has its benefits :-p
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 11, 2016 21:09:27 GMT -5
I am guilty of complaining about being tired and busy. I know I have made my choices, and it is all my decisions. But, part of it is a feeling of inadequacy. I feel like my friends are able to handle things I can't. I don't want to be the loser that can't keep all the wheels turning. Maybe if I keep telling you I am busy you will believe me.
I can get so overwhelmed with what seems like average demands. I know I am not a strong person. I know that I get wrapped up in my anxiety. But I really don't want you to think I am boring or lazy.
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