gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 14, 2016 7:58:22 GMT -5
Or suggest a third party help her budget. I wouldn't share my financial info with someone I felt unsure of either. Yeah, or at least beergut is going to really have to make an effort at being totally neutral and objective about it as it comes together. If you're gathering actual expenses for the month of January, it's not a good time to judge and scrutinize every dime spent. If you're pulling together forecasts for the upcoming months and the year, same thing. Hold your opinion and take a crawl, walk, run approach. That would be my main apprehension of handing over all the details to my live-in boyfriend who may not be able to help himself from judgmental comments. If it's all laid out, let her be the one to suggest where she can trim back. If she doesn't make a suggestion, don't jump in right away. Give it some time to marinate. He's going to have to be an encouraging coach with this if he wants it to be successful.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 14, 2016 8:06:40 GMT -5
No one has suggested that a set sum will solve all the problems. Just that it is the way to give her the means and opportunity to realistically start budgeting for her own wants, rather than relying upon the broken system of having to beg and manipulate for them. It would give her an honest chance to manage her own needs and extras rather than this dishonest system set up to give her short term rewards for appearing unable to be financially secure, while allowing beer to privately judge her as wanting thus giving him reason to dismiss her long term desire for marriage. I'm not sure if you understand what WWBG and I are saying. If someone doesn't budget, they aren't going to start budgeting just because you give them more money. She already has the money to spend on her 'own wants' right now, but she doesn't have a budget as far as I can see. She isn't going to suddenly become financially responsible and start budgeting because I directly give her money each month. When I set the timetable for the wedding, it was a compromise. She wanted to get married, I wanted to wait to get used to the idea, and to make sure I was comfortable with being a stepfather to her three (or four, though I don't think I'll be much of a father figure to an adult already out of the house and in the Marines) children. It was only after we'd been living together that I began to see the full picture of her finances, and realized she needs help. It isn't like I have a secret ultimatum of "if she doesn't fix this, I'm not going to marry her". I know what our timetable is, so I know I need to help her get her finances under control so we can both enter our marriage happy. But you don't see how you have become her safety net? You handle the fun stuff if you want to so she now has built into her budget to take care of the fixed expenses and rely on you for everything else....camps, trips, etc. You aren't helping her learn how to budget with this arrangement because she doesn't really have to budget. She has you for the extras! Im a single mom and I my oldests prom is coming up. I know what her father is contributing (not all that much!) so the rest is on me to figure out. If my budget was super tight I would adjust my spending to accomodate it. But for your gf, she doesn't look at things that way but needs to learn.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 9:03:19 GMT -5
What they said. Made worse by the fact that the current system basically rewards her for and teaches her to at least appear less responsible and to beg and manipulate. If that's not what you want, I don't understand why you perpetuate a system which is designed to increase those behaviors.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 9:04:35 GMT -5
So the kids are all part time drivers on older vehicles. And girls. How much did it go up? How did you know girlfriends rates before her? $170 a month She has her auto insurance through my firm. Her agent walked into my office and dropped the new quotes on my desk. And this is frankly nuts in a handbag. 170$ a month? For a part time driver on older vehicles? She should shop around.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 14, 2016 9:06:30 GMT -5
$170 a month She has her auto insurance through my firm. Her agent walked into my office and dropped the new quotes on my desk. And this is frankly nuts in a handbag. 170$ a month? For a part time driver on older vehicles? She should shop around. I think there are two high school drivers. DS had good grades and watched some video at State Farm and my rate went up a hundred a month. That would be sixteen years ago.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 9:14:05 GMT -5
I have a 2014 Honda and 2012 Flex full coverage. Mine went up 750 a year, and that was the highest of any of my friends who went up lately. They have girls. I know things vary from place to place, but one would think the other girl was already covered. To go up 2 grand on one person? We have Erie. Also another person was added to the same number of cars. That usually helps in the equation. Edited to add. I'm in PA. We have a graduated liscensing process, I'm not sure if that matters? He did take a 7 hr behind wheel safety class, but I've been assured that while it's a discount it isn't much.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 14, 2016 9:16:43 GMT -5
I have a 2014 Honda and 2012 Flex full coverage. Mine went up 750 a year, and that was the highest of any of my friends who went up lately. They have girls. I know things vary from place to place, but one would think the other girl was already covered. To go up 2 grand on one person? We have Erie. Also another person was added to the same number of cars. That usually helps in the equation. . They don't share family cars, they each have their own.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 9:17:55 GMT -5
But one has beers car which he has said is not on her insurance.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 14, 2016 9:22:30 GMT -5
That's interesting. Is Beer covering the insurance on his car that he's letting her drive?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 9:33:09 GMT -5
I'd assume it's insured, but they don't know the main driver is going to be a teen.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 14, 2016 9:37:53 GMT -5
I'd assume it's insured, but they don't know the main driver is going to be a teen. Oh dear. Well, not a good plan but it happens.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 14, 2016 9:39:16 GMT -5
But I don't think $170 a month is bad for full coverage of a teen driver. I'm sure there's uninsured motorists in there as well. Because a lot of people drive around without car insurance now because it's so expensive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 9:44:10 GMT -5
I think it's insane based on what I've heard lately. I wonder what state and what kind of car is being claimed as her primary?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 14, 2016 9:49:20 GMT -5
I think it's Texas but I'm Not sure
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 14, 2016 10:14:05 GMT -5
$170 a month She has her auto insurance through my firm. Her agent walked into my office and dropped the new quotes on my desk. And this is frankly nuts in a handbag. 170$ a month? For a part time driver on older vehicles? She should shop around. I've been shopping around for car insurance since Thing 2 is now driving. I have gotten quotes from $270-$550/month. Now to call who I have it with now to ask for a quote. I wanted to see what everyone else was offering before I showed them my cards.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 10:16:09 GMT -5
270$-550$ a month to add her to your policy? That is the increase?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 10:18:06 GMT -5
What are you people paying normally ? Isn't the average increase for teen girls like 65%?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 14, 2016 10:18:52 GMT -5
So the kids are all part time drivers on older vehicles. And girls. How much did it go up? How did you know girlfriends rates before her? $170 a month She has her auto insurance through my firm. Her agent walked into my office and dropped the new quotes on my desk. I thought you said in your car thread that you wrote it. I remember because you were talking about insurance scores being a letter from A-Z until some of us in the business pointed out that you were wrong. If you didn't, why is an agent sharing confidential policy information with someone who is not a named insured or a listed driver? And am I the only one who thought there was only 3 kids? Or am I missing something? If you're going to make this stuff up as you go along, you should start writing it down so you can at least be consistent.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 10:23:38 GMT -5
I don't think the boy gets much of a mention? Although I seem to remember there being one.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 14, 2016 10:23:47 GMT -5
270$-550$ a month to add her to your policy? That is the increase? No. The total price. Right now I have 3 cars. Two have full coverage and one is liability only. I have myself and Thing 1 listed as drivers. I was paying $193/month until this renewal. They took a rate increase and I got my renewal that said I would pay $221/month before adding Thing 2,so I started shopping. I am getting quotes from $270-550/month for all three of us with all 3 cars written the way I have them now. I don't anticipate it going up $50 more a month as it didn't when I added Thing 1, but you never know.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Feb 14, 2016 10:26:30 GMT -5
I don't think the boy gets much of a mention? Although I seem to remember there being one. I remember the first thread there was mention of two girls because of the camp talk. Then in the car thread the boy was mentioned because he hasn't accepted beer as a "stepfather". I don't remember mention of a grown child that lives outside the home. Then again, there could have been mention of one and I missed it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 14, 2016 10:29:31 GMT -5
$170 a month She has her auto insurance through my firm. Her agent walked into my office and dropped the new quotes on my desk. And this is frankly nuts in a handbag. 170$ a month? For a part time driver on older vehicles? She should shop around. To be fair, my daughter has a 2008 Tiburon and her insurance is $2k a year. And we did shop around
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 14, 2016 10:31:49 GMT -5
I have a 2014 Honda and 2012 Flex full coverage. Mine went up 750 a year, and that was the highest of any of my friends who went up lately. They have girls. I know things vary from place to place, but one would think the other girl was already covered. To go up 2 grand on one person? We have Erie. Also another person was added to the same number of cars. That usually helps in the equation. Edited to add. I'm in PA. We have a graduated liscensing process, I'm not sure if that matters? He did take a 7 hr behind wheel safety class, but I've been assured that while it's a discount it isn't much. We are also in PA and also have Erie. Ours went up $2k to pick up my daughter on the policy. It is her own car and full coverage
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 14, 2016 10:39:42 GMT -5
$170 a month She has her auto insurance through my firm. Her agent walked into my office and dropped the new quotes on my desk. I thought you said in your car thread that you wrote it. I remember because you were talking about insurance scores being a letter from A-Z until some of us in the business pointed out that you were wrong. If you didn't, why is an agent sharing confidential policy information with someone who is not a named insured or a listed driver? And am I the only one who thought there was only 3 kids? Or am I missing something? If you're going to make this stuff up as you go along, you should start writing it down so you can at least be consistent. Cut him some slack. He isn't making it up. He said in a thread awhile back that that she has 4 total, but the 4th she adopted when he was 18 and is grown, married and in the Marines. I can be harsh sometimes, too but I try to remember it's not very productive poking holes where there are no holes.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 10:41:21 GMT -5
To put her on your policy Tequlla? I know it helped we have 3 people on a two car policy, but that would be beers situation too. I'm looking for my papers to find my exact numbers...
Yes, that is a small, sportier car. The insurance would be greater I guess.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 14, 2016 10:50:36 GMT -5
Insurance costs vary so widely by state (and by companies within states) it's not particularly helpful to compare actual numbers from one state to another.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Feb 14, 2016 10:53:08 GMT -5
This is what beergut said Dec. 14, 2015:
17 yr old totaled her car, so GF went out and bought her a replacement with the insurance money. The transmission just went out on the replacement car, and GF says she is tired of having to drive 17 year old everywhere, so she needs to get another car.
I disagree that getting a car for the 17 year old is a 'need', it is more of a 'want', and I think if the 17 year old believes she 'needs' a car, she can get a job and start earning money to buy one. GF disagrees.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 10:57:35 GMT -5
Yes, as Andi demonstrated in that her quotes varied 280$ a month. If my rates had gone up 2k a year though, I would certainly be shopping it around rather than taking that first quote no questions asked. A quick search ahows that, unless she is already somehow paying astronomical rates, or the car is a sports car? ... Anyway, I would be shopping rates at that quote to at least see....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 10:58:51 GMT -5
Oh. So the rate could also reflect an increase because 17 yr old totaled her car. Not just because 16 yr old was added. That makes more sense. Thanks!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2016 11:06:35 GMT -5
Can you link table Anne? Thank!
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