NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 11:00:48 GMT -5
Ok - I worked myself up and applied to the Kansas job. Unfortunately, the application made clear that remote was not an option, so that is one question I had! Will see what happens! Time to start answering the phone with a professional voice, JIC! But - will be alert for emails. One piece of this: The CV is updated!!! I have a cover letter! Will boldly search for good positions....given my niche in a niche in a niche field and now that I am in a managing role, seems about 1 job comes up every 6 months - so - I better apply for them all. That reminds me I really need to get around to making a CV now that I am published. I never know when I might need it.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 30, 2019 11:48:08 GMT -5
Applied for 14 jobs. Already rejected for 3 which was fast considering the holidays. We'll see what happens with the other 11. I am somewhat optimistic about one job because it is for inventory and that is a lot of what he managed at his old job, that key word is plastered all over his resume. Still I had jobs where I was 100% qualified for the job and didn't get it so who knows. Job searching is one of the most soul sucking experiences in your life. So far working at two resturants is going all right, obviously tiring and a lot of standing. He was sent home on Sunday because they didn't need him. I pointed out this is common in the industry, it helps keep labor costs down it isn't like a regular job where if we are slow I am still expected to be here 8 hours. This is a key reason why I am not so keen on him making a shift for this type of work. It would be one thing if we were DINKs but I am not eager for him to work in an industry with uncertain hours now that we have kids. That's why I switched from academics because I can't be losing my job every 3-5 years and trying to "make it work" anymore. That's why my dad waited until we were grown to launch things. Don't get me wrong it's better than $0 and way better than UE. I also understand that he doesn't feel like he fits into corporate work because I don't feel that way either hence why I work in a lab. I want to be supportive but I don't like instability. I could make the low pay work though it would suck to go back to living like college students but I don't want to deal with low income AND uncertain income at the same time, at least not for an extended period.And that's fair and not unreasonable.
I stay with my employer because of my benefits and pay, not because I love the work.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Dec 30, 2019 11:50:49 GMT -5
Ok - I worked myself up and applied to the Kansas job. Unfortunately, the application made clear that remote was not an option, so that is one question I had! Will see what happens! Time to start answering the phone with a professional voice, JIC! But - will be alert for emails. One piece of this: The CV is updated!!! I have a cover letter! Will boldly search for good positions....given my niche in a niche in a niche field and now that I am in a managing role, seems about 1 job comes up every 6 months - so - I better apply for them all. I have already decided against this job! At least for now, while I am on extended break from dayjob and not dealing with the BS. Will see how I feel when I go back to the grind. I want to hold on to my life just like it is, I know it may not last, may not be able to keep the big house in retirement, and I recognize that buying this big house 15 years ago was a misstep. But it's home, in a way nothing else will ever be for me (or the kids although they will build their own homes someday - but for childhood home - this is it). I will pursue the interviewing process if they contact me, but it would take a lot for me to consider it in truth. I'd be relieved if they didn't contact me, but also, upset! Cuz, yano?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 12:05:18 GMT -5
Applied for 14 jobs. Already rejected for 3 which was fast considering the holidays. We'll see what happens with the other 11. I am somewhat optimistic about one job because it is for inventory and that is a lot of what he managed at his old job, that key word is plastered all over his resume. Still I had jobs where I was 100% qualified for the job and didn't get it so who knows. Job searching is one of the most soul sucking experiences in your life. So far working at two resturants is going all right, obviously tiring and a lot of standing. He was sent home on Sunday because they didn't need him. I pointed out this is common in the industry, it helps keep labor costs down it isn't like a regular job where if we are slow I am still expected to be here 8 hours. This is a key reason why I am not so keen on him making a shift for this type of work. It would be one thing if we were DINKs but I am not eager for him to work in an industry with uncertain hours now that we have kids. That's why I switched from academics because I can't be losing my job every 3-5 years and trying to "make it work" anymore. That's why my dad waited until we were grown to launch things. Don't get me wrong it's better than $0 and way better than UE. I also understand that he doesn't feel like he fits into corporate work because I don't feel that way either hence why I work in a lab. I want to be supportive but I don't like instability. I could make the low pay work though it would suck to go back to living like college students but I don't want to deal with low income AND uncertain income at the same time, at least not for an extended period.And that's fair and not unreasonable.
I stay with my employer because of my benefits and pay, not because I love the work.
I carry our benefits and always have so no worries there. And yes he would not be paying Nebraska taxes anymore but at $10/hr that isn't really much of a recoup. He insists I don't know how every resturant on Earth works and that this one will be different. Um. .. okay. Considering every fast food place and a lot of retailers also employ this strategy I am not sure what makes this place so special. I get he really likes the owner and possibly wants to get in on the butcher side but that could be YEARS away. I'd much rather he take this job for now, get a "corporate" job to pay our bills and then stay in touch with the owner. Then IF the butcher part comes thru THEN he can discuss it with him and possibly quit his day job. By then we'd be in a much more stable position and be able to absorb the hit better. I don't want to say people cannot reinvent themselves or start new careers because of course they can. My parents have gone from being some of the biggest financial train wrecks I know to owning a successful business in their 50s/60s. AND they did it without incurring debt. BUT they also worked their asses off at jobs they hated for 30+ years to raise us kids and provide stability until they time came they could take the risk. However I can't bring myself to quite extend the same grace to DH. Not after everything we've been through. I feel like he owes me stability more than I owe him any luxury of figuring out what he wants to be when he grows up.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 30, 2019 12:12:26 GMT -5
And that's fair and not unreasonable.
I stay with my employer because of my benefits and pay, not because I love the work.
I carry our benefits and always have so no worries there. And yes he would not be paying Nebraska taxes anymore but at $10/hr that isn't really much of a recoup. He insists I don't know how every resturant on Earth works and that this one will be different. Um. .. okay. Considering every fast food place and a lot of retailers also employ this strategy I am not sure what makes this place so special. I get he really likes the owner and possibly wants to get in on the butcher side but that could be YEARS away. I'd much rather he take this job for now, get a "corporate" job to pay our bills and then stay in touch with the owner. Then IF the butcher part comes thru THEN he can discuss it with him and possibly quit his day job. By then we'd be in a much more stable position and be able to absorb the hit better. I don't want to say people cannot reinvent themselves or start new careers because of course they can. My parents have gone from being some of the biggest financial train wrecks I know to owning a successful business in their 50s/60s. AND they did it without incurring debt. BUT they also worked their asses off at jobs they hated for 30+ years to raise us kids and provide stability until they time came they could take the risk. However I can't bring myself to quite extend the same grace to DH. Not after everything we've been through. I feel like he owes me stability more than I owe him any luxury of figuring out what he wants to be when he grows up. He does.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 30, 2019 12:49:59 GMT -5
I carry our benefits and always have so no worries there. And yes he would not be paying Nebraska taxes anymore but at $10/hr that isn't really much of a recoup. He insists I don't know how every resturant on Earth works and that this one will be different. Um. .. okay. Considering every fast food place and a lot of retailers also employ this strategy I am not sure what makes this place so special. I get he really likes the owner and possibly wants to get in on the butcher side but that could be YEARS away. I'd much rather he take this job for now, get a "corporate" job to pay our bills and then stay in touch with the owner. Then IF the butcher part comes thru THEN he can discuss it with him and possibly quit his day job. By then we'd be in a much more stable position and be able to absorb the hit better. I don't want to say people cannot reinvent themselves or start new careers because of course they can. My parents have gone from being some of the biggest financial train wrecks I know to owning a successful business in their 50s/60s. AND they did it without incurring debt. BUT they also worked their asses off at jobs they hated for 30+ years to raise us kids and provide stability until they time came they could take the risk. However I can't bring myself to quite extend the same grace to DH. Not after everything we've been through. I feel like he owes me stability more than I owe him any luxury of figuring out what he wants to be when he grows up. He does. Yep. He does.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 13:20:00 GMT -5
For the record he's applying and will interview if he gets one but he wants me to keep an open mind about him staying at the resturant. I am having a REAL hard time with that and my supportive spouse facade is disappearing quickly even though it's only been a couple weeks since he lost his job.
I post here to sort out my feelings, I figure that if I am crazy you guys will say so because you aren't as close to the issue as I am.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 30, 2019 13:28:54 GMT -5
For the record he's applying and will interview if he gets one but he wants me to keep an open mind about him staying at the resturant. I am having a REAL hard time with that and my supportive spouse facade is disappearing quickly even though it's only been a couple weeks since he lost his job. I post here to sort out my feelings, I figure that if I am crazy you guys will say so because you aren't as close to the issue as I am. Ok, how much money would you need him to consistently bring in every week to feel secure? No matter what his job? Figure out a number. It needs to be something realistic, not like $5K a week.
If he can consistently make that at a restaurant job, then maybe consider it. But consistently doesn't mean $1K this week and $20 next week and $250 the 3rd week. It means $400 a week (or whatever the number you need is) And if you know you'll need more money at certain times of the year, you can tell him that too.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 13:38:00 GMT -5
For the record he's applying and will interview if he gets one but he wants me to keep an open mind about him staying at the resturant. I am having a REAL hard time with that and my supportive spouse facade is disappearing quickly even though it's only been a couple weeks since he lost his job. I post here to sort out my feelings, I figure that if I am crazy you guys will say so because you aren't as close to the issue as I am. Ok, how much money would you need him to consistently bring in every week to feel secure? No matter what his job? Figure out a number. It needs to be something realistic, not like $5K a week.
If he can consistently make that at a restaurant job, then maybe consider it. But consistently doesn't mean $1K this week and $20 next week and $250 the 3rd week. It means $400 a week (or whatever the number you need is) And if you know you'll need more money at certain times of the year, you can tell him that too.
Off the top of my head he's got to bring in at least $1k-$1500 a month and that's just to keep our heads afloat. Forget doing anything other than surviving for the next 3-5 years till our debt is paid off. He can do it but he will have to work there AND at my dad's at least 2 nights a week. We have very little in savings so it would not take a whole lot to tilt us right back over the edge. I already told him any tips he makes will go straight into savings. You want to work $10/hr that's fine but then I get every penny to keep us from going over the edge. We have enough to last a month that's it if we were to use to replace his previous salary. I said if this is what you think you want to do fine, but then we live according to our new income. I want him to feel the consequences of all his choices up to this point. That being said I won't lie I am going to be resentful as all f*ck. It's not just him giving up stuff it's me too and I have already given up A LOOOOOOOOOOT in this marriage. I am angry that he is wanting me to consider giving up even more in the name of HIS happiness. I have yet to see what he's given up for mine. I would be extremely shocked if this job turned into a stable 40/hr week, 52 week per year job. That's just not how things work unless you are higher up the totem pole.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 30, 2019 14:07:52 GMT -5
Ok, so he'd need to bring in $2,500 a month then or ~$650 a week to go with my consistent, weekly paycheck numbers. Because you want more than staying afloat.
I don't know how taxes fall into play with him working restaurant jobs.
I don't blame you for being resentful. I think being resentful is a logical place for you to be in, after the last 5 years with him. And it's not your job to make him happy. Happiness is internal. Until he gets his head figured out, he's not going to be happy.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 14:21:49 GMT -5
Can you come right out and say "I'm resentful"? And tell him why?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 14:44:41 GMT -5
Can you come right out and say "I'm resentful"? And tell him why? I probably should because this has been building up over the course of the last 4-5 years with him. I am hesitant to do so though because of everything and the last thing I need is for him to relapse. I know logically that it is not my fault if that happens but it feels like there is too high a price to pay for me unburdening myself right now. $10/hr if full time is $20k a year that is roughly $620 every two weeks if I recall correctly from when I worked at Creighton but I also had benefits coming out. I am not convinced this is going to be "full time" as he considers full time. It may be close but there are no assurances it's going to be every week. Short term I can make it work but long term it's going to suck. It's probably selfish of me but I don't have much interest in living like a pauper for 3-5 years for him. Especially when I know darn well we wouldn't have to if he hadn't done the things he has done. If the last five years hadn't happened I'd likely be singing a different tune, but they did. I don't want him to be miserable or work a job that stresses him out to the point the doctor says "damn" taking his BP but the concept of "loving what I do" leaves a sour taste in my mouth at the moment. There is a middle to that bell curve. That is where I would like us to end up.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 30, 2019 14:57:59 GMT -5
How's the search for a therapist coming along?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 15:22:08 GMT -5
Okay. Here's the thing: when we're dealing with an addict, we do the should I/shouldn't I game.
Mention it and if the addict relapses, even though we know it's not our fault, somewhere deep down in the recesses of our brains, we feel like it is. Intellectually, no. We know it's no. It's not our fault. It still feels like it is.
Don't mention it, the addict either relapses or goes merrily along thinking everything is just all tickety boo never admitting to themselves that there has to be resentment and never facing it because it wasn't ever mentioned. "How come you never said so?"
Only you can decide whether to say it out loud or not. Five years of sitting on it hasn't done a thing for you except raise your blood pressure and increase the resentment.
Yes. There's an addict in my family. There were two. One died (not from an OD). No matter what I did or didn't do, said or didn't say, I finally came to the realization that whatever the addict did, it had nothing to do with me or with anything I said or did.
You're between the devil and the deep blue sea. I truly understand.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 15:27:52 GMT -5
How's the search for a therapist coming along? He's been going it's once a week group meetings. While it's better than NA in that it's specific to opiates and smaller so more one on one attention I am not sure how much they are really getting into DH's issues. This is a 12 week program designed to get him to the point where he can remain sober for more than five minutes. We have to complete this program before we can find out what/if any other help they will provide beyond that.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 30, 2019 15:40:34 GMT -5
How's the search for a therapist coming along? He's been going it's once a week group meetings. While it's better than NA in that it's specific to opiates and smaller so more one on one attention I am not sure how much they are really getting into DH's issues. This is a 12 week program designed to get him to the point where he can remain sober for more than five minutes. We have to complete this program before we can find out what/if any other help they will provide beyond that. Sigh.... good luck with getting them/him to keep moving. If I were you, I'd just say whatever it is you're thinking. You don't have to be nasty, just factual. If he doesn't know he's got himself into a "one foot out the door" situation already, this will certainly help clarify that. Whether it does any good is a whole 'nother question, but you will have said it and won't feel bad that you "blindsided" him if it comes to that.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Dec 30, 2019 15:41:08 GMT -5
Ok, how much money would you need him to consistently bring in every week to feel secure? No matter what his job? Figure out a number. It needs to be something realistic, not like $5K a week.
If he can consistently make that at a restaurant job, then maybe consider it. But consistently doesn't mean $1K this week and $20 next week and $250 the 3rd week. It means $400 a week (or whatever the number you need is) And if you know you'll need more money at certain times of the year, you can tell him that too.
Off the top of my head he's got to bring in at least $1k-$1500 a month and that's just to keep our heads afloat. Forget doing anything other than surviving for the next 3-5 years till our debt is paid off. He can do it but he will have to work there AND at my dad's at least 2 nights a week. We have very little in savings so it would not take a whole lot to tilt us right back over the edge. I already told him any tips he makes will go straight into savings. You want to work $10/hr that's fine but then I get every penny to keep us from going over the edge. We have enough to last a month that's it if we were to use to replace his previous salary. I said if this is what you think you want to do fine, but then we live according to our new income. I want him to feel the consequences of all his choices up to this point. That being said I won't lie I am going to be resentful as all f*ck. It's not just him giving up stuff it's me too and I have already given up A LOOOOOOOOOOT in this marriage. I am angry that he is wanting me to consider giving up even more in the name of HIS happiness. I have yet to see what he's given up for mine. I would be extremely shocked if this job turned into a stable 40/hr week, 52 week per year job. That's just not how things work unless you are higher up the totem pole. what was his previous salary - and why was he let go? I get you'd like him to make more, but what if he just isn't suited/going to get let go repeatedly in that type of job? That also isn't providing stability. 1 - 1.5k a month is not a lot, if he can consistently make 2k a month - would that work for you? As well as a commitment to shoring up EF in case of shortfalls? Not sure what he is doing in restaurant, but you did mention tips. DD is bartending 2-3 night a week and making a good amount. If he wants to maintain the restaurant but it isn't paid well enough - can he do 2 PT gigs?
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Dec 30, 2019 15:48:45 GMT -5
How's the search for a therapist coming along? He's been going it's once a week group meetings. While it's better than NA in that it's specific to opiates and smaller so more one on one attention I am not sure how much they are really getting into DH's issues. This is a 12 week program designed to get him to the point where he can remain sober for more than five minutes. We have to complete this program before we can find out what/if any other help they will provide beyond that. oh no! I didn't realize he was actively using right now. I know there was a recent relapse but I though he was at least back on the wagon currently. I don't know what to say that is helpful, but wishing you the best way forward you can find.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 30, 2019 16:09:06 GMT -5
Off the top of my head he's got to bring in at least $1k-$1500 a month and that's just to keep our heads afloat. Forget doing anything other than surviving for the next 3-5 years till our debt is paid off. He can do it but he will have to work there AND at my dad's at least 2 nights a week. We have very little in savings so it would not take a whole lot to tilt us right back over the edge. I already told him any tips he makes will go straight into savings. You want to work $10/hr that's fine but then I get every penny to keep us from going over the edge. We have enough to last a month that's it if we were to use to replace his previous salary. I said if this is what you think you want to do fine, but then we live according to our new income. I want him to feel the consequences of all his choices up to this point. That being said I won't lie I am going to be resentful as all f*ck. It's not just him giving up stuff it's me too and I have already given up A LOOOOOOOOOOT in this marriage. I am angry that he is wanting me to consider giving up even more in the name of HIS happiness. I have yet to see what he's given up for mine. I would be extremely shocked if this job turned into a stable 40/hr week, 52 week per year job. That's just not how things work unless you are higher up the totem pole. what was his previous salary - and why was he let go? I get you'd like him to make more, but what if he just isn't suited/going to get let go repeatedly in that type of job? That also isn't providing stability. 1 - 1.5k a month is not a lot, if he can consistently make 2k a month - would that work for you? As well as a commitment to shoring up EF in case of shortfalls? Not sure what he is doing in restaurant, but you did mention tips. DD is bartending 2-3 night a week and making a good amount. If he wants to maintain the restaurant but it isn't paid well enough - can he do 2 PT gigs? His previous salary was $55k but we know realistically he is not going to make that ever again. I am pretty certain they offered him that much to get him to stay around after the buy out long enough to train someone else to do the job. I'd like him to get back to $35k-$40k which he should be able to do. We weren't at $55k to grow accustomed to having it to the point where we can't readjust. Readjusting to going back to him making less than $30k is a wee bit more difficult. Our fixed expenses outside of the car payments is pretty close to unchanged since we had the kids, daycare has even gone down. The issue is thanks to his issues we are close to $30k in credit card debt. They said attendance, which is true and I don't buy for a second that it would not be a problem simply because he switches careers if he hasn't figured it out by now. That being said I also felt it was only a matter of time after the buy out. Why keep a company of four people in Omaha afloat when you have thousands of employees in your plant/corporate who can do the same job? Likely the only person who will be left at the end is his supervisor. They had to keep enough of a skeleton crew long enough to full absorb the duties. I should have pressured him harder to start looking back in April when this was announced but too late now. He hung himself but I am pretty sure they've been feeding him rope since April. I say $1500 off the top of my head. That allows me to pay the bare minimum on our credit cards while at the same time paying our regular bills down to the penny with my salary. His tips would have to go to savings so we could at least have something if we need to replace a tire on the car or other less than $500 things like that. He'd make 7% of sales for the shift he is on but he has to be ON shift to earn it. That is my concern, he's not going to be able to consistently earn $2k a month. He would be making pizza and he's bottom of the totem pole so if they are over staffed he'd be the one they'd send home. The last 4-5 DH has completely upended everything in our lives to the point where I've seriously contemplated if I am better off without him. I am trying VERY hard to be supportive of his recovery. I am fine with it being temporary and shelving the discussion until he gets an offer somewhere else. As I have said this puts us in a better position than in 2015. Not great, but I'd rather this than that. However I am not remotely ready to consider this a "career change" for him and don't feel it was fair to even be asked that.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Dec 30, 2019 17:02:40 GMT -5
So sorry about this drama, it does sound like a very serious and potentially a fork-in-the-road moment for you.
I'm assuming the 30k in cc debt was for his drugs, then? I'd be done, TBH. You are always stressed and making tough choices for the family, trying to earn more money, and then that happens behind your back?
Same shit for 4-5 years?
Ok - so - how much longer are you willing to keep this up? What expectation of change is there here on his part? I was thinking that he was like 10-15 years older than you, and he can't even put the family first? He isn't even thinking about taking care of the family, pulling his own weight and then some - he is just trying skate by and get "permission" from you to do so? Sounds like a child-view. When will he grow up? How long are you willing to wait for the moment?
Considering it may never happen?
I've been there, and it sucks. I bailed relatively early and no regrets on that. So - I am likely not the most impartial of advisers here (full disclosure!).
Take care of yourself and your own needs, whatever that might entail. Good luck - whichever way you go.
But I will say - talking yourself into a position where you own feelings and needs are packaged and explored only in relation to how they may impact him is a problem! Because putting pressure on him can always be seen as a 'trigger', pressure is a trigger! How much pressure are you under for supporting the family? is he feeling that?
Do you have a therapist? are you going to meetings, alanon or such? Please do so!
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Dec 31, 2019 13:55:57 GMT -5
Sent out invitations to 19(!) people to phone interview for my open position today. This is more than I would normally do, but all the best practices for getting diverse candidates in the door is to be open to interviewing more people. I do expect that at least 3 of the candidates will pull themselves out of the pool since I provided the pay range in the email invitation.
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Dec 31, 2019 14:33:47 GMT -5
"How much pressure are you under for supporting the family? is he feeling that?" This resonated with me and my situation as well. I feel like Drama and I could have married brothers at this point, with how similar they are. I'm hoping for the best for you, Drama, I really am because you deserve to not be under such stress. I see myself being short with the kids, and I feel bad for it. Work is very stressful lately too, so I leave work to go to a different kind of stress at home. It never ends.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 31, 2019 14:41:54 GMT -5
We need to have a CTJ talk though I don't plan on venting my spleen because that would be feeding the beast. It's a crappy situation but it doesn't need to turn us into crappy people.
Back to job related Indeed likes to blow up gmail and gmail is linked to both our phones. So far almost all his applications have been viewed. Only one rejection out of the 19 applications so far. Hopefully some of them call here in the new year.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 31, 2019 14:42:58 GMT -5
what was his previous salary - and why was he let go? I get you'd like him to make more, but what if he just isn't suited/going to get let go repeatedly in that type of job? That also isn't providing stability. 1 - 1.5k a month is not a lot, if he can consistently make 2k a month - would that work for you? As well as a commitment to shoring up EF in case of shortfalls? Not sure what he is doing in restaurant, but you did mention tips. DD is bartending 2-3 night a week and making a good amount. If he wants to maintain the restaurant but it isn't paid well enough - can he do 2 PT gigs? His previous salary was $55k but we know realistically he is not going to make that ever again. I am pretty certain they offered him that much to get him to stay around after the buy out long enough to train someone else to do the job. I'd like him to get back to $35k-$40k which he should be able to do. We weren't at $55k to grow accustomed to having it to the point where we can't readjust. Readjusting to going back to him making less than $30k is a wee bit more difficult. Our fixed expenses outside of the car payments is pretty close to unchanged since we had the kids, daycare has even gone down. The issue is thanks to his issues we are close to $30k in credit card debt. They said attendance, which is true and I don't buy for a second that it would not be a problem simply because he switches careers if he hasn't figured it out by now. That being said I also felt it was only a matter of time after the buy out. Why keep a company of four people in Omaha afloat when you have thousands of employees in your plant/corporate who can do the same job? Likely the only person who will be left at the end is his supervisor. They had to keep enough of a skeleton crew long enough to full absorb the duties. I should have pressured him harder to start looking back in April when this was announced but too late now. He hung himself but I am pretty sure they've been feeding him rope since April. I say $1500 off the top of my head. That allows me to pay the bare minimum on our credit cards while at the same time paying our regular bills down to the penny with my salary. His tips would have to go to savings so we could at least have something if we need to replace a tire on the car or other less than $500 things like that. He'd make 7% of sales for the shift he is on but he has to be ON shift to earn it. That is my concern, he's not going to be able to consistently earn $2k a month. He would be making pizza and he's bottom of the totem pole so if they are over staffed he'd be the one they'd send home. The last 4-5 DH has completely upended everything in our lives to the point where I've seriously contemplated if I am better off without him. I am trying VERY hard to be supportive of his recovery. I am fine with it being temporary and shelving the discussion until he gets an offer somewhere else. As I have said this puts us in a better position than in 2015. Not great, but I'd rather this than that. However I am not remotely ready to consider this a "career change" for him and don't feel it was fair to even be asked that. $30k in credit card debt and reduced income is worth a bankruptcy consult.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 31, 2019 14:53:32 GMT -5
His previous salary was $55k but we know realistically he is not going to make that ever again. I am pretty certain they offered him that much to get him to stay around after the buy out long enough to train someone else to do the job. I'd like him to get back to $35k-$40k which he should be able to do. We weren't at $55k to grow accustomed to having it to the point where we can't readjust. Readjusting to going back to him making less than $30k is a wee bit more difficult. Our fixed expenses outside of the car payments is pretty close to unchanged since we had the kids, daycare has even gone down. The issue is thanks to his issues we are close to $30k in credit card debt. They said attendance, which is true and I don't buy for a second that it would not be a problem simply because he switches careers if he hasn't figured it out by now. That being said I also felt it was only a matter of time after the buy out. Why keep a company of four people in Omaha afloat when you have thousands of employees in your plant/corporate who can do the same job? Likely the only person who will be left at the end is his supervisor. They had to keep enough of a skeleton crew long enough to full absorb the duties. I should have pressured him harder to start looking back in April when this was announced but too late now. He hung himself but I am pretty sure they've been feeding him rope since April. I say $1500 off the top of my head. That allows me to pay the bare minimum on our credit cards while at the same time paying our regular bills down to the penny with my salary. His tips would have to go to savings so we could at least have something if we need to replace a tire on the car or other less than $500 things like that. He'd make 7% of sales for the shift he is on but he has to be ON shift to earn it. That is my concern, he's not going to be able to consistently earn $2k a month. He would be making pizza and he's bottom of the totem pole so if they are over staffed he'd be the one they'd send home. The last 4-5 DH has completely upended everything in our lives to the point where I've seriously contemplated if I am better off without him. I am trying VERY hard to be supportive of his recovery. I am fine with it being temporary and shelving the discussion until he gets an offer somewhere else. As I have said this puts us in a better position than in 2015. Not great, but I'd rather this than that. However I am not remotely ready to consider this a "career change" for him and don't feel it was fair to even be asked that. $30k in credit card debt and reduced income is worth a bankruptcy consult. I've been thinking about it.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 31, 2019 21:49:05 GMT -5
$30k in credit card debt and reduced income is worth a bankruptcy consult. I've been thinking about it. Definitely go in for a consult. If I may ask what is your salary? Also not sure about your area but is Uber / Lyft a possibility? I used to do Uber eats up till July when I got in a car accident and made about $300/week... just finally back to being physically able to seat a long time so decided to switch to Uber / Lyft (mostly Lyft, seems more popular around here). I easily made the first 3 weeks (except again had another car accident 2 weeks ago so have not driven for 2 weeks ; just got my car back) $500-$750/week. Actually added it up for a friend my 3 weeks came to $1,840 and that is driving 20-25/hrs (because I have a full time job ~50-60hrs/week). As I said just got my car back last Thursday and Friday-Saturday night made $217 in 5 hrs and 4 minutes... have not driven since Saturday been busy at primary job and too tired afterwards. Again that is why I ask how is your area. I am in DC metro and a lot of people either do not drive or I have find a sweet spot hours wise where there isn’t as many drivers out there because demand is low but more than enough for me To make $$$. For me using it as source to pay down our current debt at a faster rate. Added ; none of my accidents were due to driving for Uber/Lyft and none were my fault. Both were Hit and Runs by drunk drivers out there ...
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jan 1, 2020 17:30:46 GMT -5
I've been thinking about it. I used to do Uber eats up till July when I got in a car accident and made about $300/week... just finally back to being physically able to seat a long time so decided to switch to Uber / Lyft (mostly Lyft, seems more popular around here). I easily made the first 3 weeks (except again had another car accident 2 weeks ago so have not driven for 2 weeks ; just got my car back) $500-$750/week. Actually added it up for a friend my 3 weeks came to $1,840 and that is driving 20-25/hrs (because I have a full time job ~50-60hrs/week). As I said just got my car back last Thursday and Friday-Saturday night made $217 in 5 hrs and 4 minutes... have not driven since Saturday been busy at primary job and too tired afterwards. Is the profit you are citing after you've accounted for net after all your expenses, including taxes, wear and tear on your car, etc?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jan 1, 2020 18:28:06 GMT -5
I used to do Uber eats up till July when I got in a car accident and made about $300/week... just finally back to being physically able to seat a long time so decided to switch to Uber / Lyft (mostly Lyft, seems more popular around here). I easily made the first 3 weeks (except again had another car accident 2 weeks ago so have not driven for 2 weeks ; just got my car back) $500-$750/week. Actually added it up for a friend my 3 weeks came to $1,840 and that is driving 20-25/hrs (because I have a full time job ~50-60hrs/week). As I said just got my car back last Thursday and Friday-Saturday night made $217 in 5 hrs and 4 minutes... have not driven since Saturday been busy at primary job and too tired afterwards. Is the profit you are citing after you've accounted for net after all your expenses, including taxes, wear and tear on your car, etc? Nope
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jan 2, 2020 10:24:41 GMT -5
I'm beginning to field cold calls/emails again, from old revisions of my resume on LinkedIn and other places. is it commonplace now for recruiters to call AND text your mobile number within minutes of each other? that's beyond rude, IMHO. if I couldn't answer the phone, do you think I'm going to be answering your text either? wow.
ETA: and the email just came through as well. that's pretty aggressive for a contract job, if you ask me.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jan 2, 2020 10:33:26 GMT -5
I'm beginning to field cold calls/emails again, from old revisions of my resume on LinkedIn and other places. is it commonplace now for recruiters to call AND text your mobile number within minutes of each other? that's beyond rude, IMHO. if I couldn't answer the phone, do you think I'm going to be answering your text either? wow. ETA: and the email just came through as well. that's pretty aggressive for a contract job, if you ask me. I get a lot of those. Usually for a temporary contract job that needs to be filled immediately. The caller is always middle eastern. Hard pass.
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