Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 19, 2016 7:58:48 GMT -5
I'd back off from the "you are ruining your future" commentary. It's completely understandable from an adult perspective but if he is depressed it will fuel those negative feelings. I think one of the most helpful things we can do as parents is to teach our children to be resilient. We get many chances in life. Have you helped him put in place systems for remembering tasks and completing them? DS has weekly and monthly calendars in his room with reminders to put his library books in his backpack on certain days, etc. Yes,refrain from the "ruining your future" type comments. I was guilty of that some too. And, it isn't helpful and it makes a monumental mountain out of molehills. So what if he doesn't do particularly well in HS. We need to get over that "your life is ruined" type catastrophic thing. It isn't. He has his whole life ahead of him. Maybe he will be a brain surgeon. Maybe he will drive a truck for a living. Either way, who cares? It is more important to raise him to be a good person. The rest of it is gravy.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 19, 2016 8:00:50 GMT -5
So, my son is now on the radar of social services. He's been getting in trouble increasingly at school with his annoying, obnoxious behavior. School and myself have both been upping the punishment and severity, but now in his anger when he gets in trouble he's started saying things like he wishes he was dead which has of course got all kinds of attention. It's happening Every. Single. Day. and I just don't know what to do anymore. This last month has been exhausting. They called again today. Gymnastics unit in phy-ed (guaranteed issue). Teacher let him sit out, but he was causing problems distracting people or something...not sure and the teacher was going to write him a Map ticket (minor), but because it's Sam, it's now an instant escalation to office referral. He was irate and got another day of in-school suspension. The principal says she's so worried about him because he seems convinced everyone hates him. I just don't get it. He acts in a way that everyone doesn't like, gets bad reaction and continues to do that. They're giving me the paperwork to have a mental health worker come in and work with him during the day. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. The bolded lines are some of the things that I think making some posters feel this situation is potentially very serious. You never know what's really going on in a person's head. The words "I wish I were dead" doesn't pass through a person's lips unless the thought formed in their mind first. Of course, people don't truly mean everything they say, but if someone says something like this more than once on different occasions, I think that chances are good that on some level, they mean it. If someone told me they wish I were dead every time we had a disagreement, it would make me concerned that one disagreement too many and they might try to make their wish come true. What's the difference? If it turns out that Sam's issues really are very serious, it just might turn your life upside down trying to help him. At the same time I was dealing with my son's issues, I was taking my daughter to doctors and for tests to try to find out why she kept having excruciating pains in her side. Turned out she had a congenital kidney defect and needed inpatient surgery to fix it, sooner rather than later. My whole world was upside down, but both of my kids were unhealthy (in different ways of course) and getting them better was my priority. Of course I still needed a job, and I tried to do right by my employer as much as I could during all that, but if I needed to miss days of work or ask to change my work schedule or work less than 8hrs/day for a while so I wouldn't miss so many full days of work (I did all that at one point or another during those months), that's just what I had to do. In 18 years of working there, that was the only time I've been a "problem" employee. Ok, thank you for pointing that out. I reread the thread and didn't see that particular post. Yes, saying "he wished he was dead" is a red flag. So, i agree that is something to address.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 19, 2016 8:09:38 GMT -5
I do think that Self Pity begets more self pity. I found that when i pitied my kids that actually was not helpful. Instead, i focused on teaching them that they were strong and capable. Again, just giving personal experience that may not apply, especially if there is a deeper situation going on. I also found that doing chores together with my kids was a good bonding experience and made everyone feel good. Especially cooking. My kids love to help cook and prepare meals. And, every weekend DD and embark on a new recipe. We made chocolate souffles last weekend. I think cooking is very therapeutic and a good way to bond with kids and spend quality time. I know you are stressed and working but everyone's gotta eat so might be a good way to get him to open up to you as you are working together.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2016 8:32:35 GMT -5
He's very...dramatic...to say the least, and has been since he was little. I honestly don't believe he's really suicidal. Denial Mom? Maybe. But everyone that knows him personally doesn't believe it either. Even the principal that has been with him since he was 4 doesn't think he really means the suicide part, but she's a mandated reporter. She DOES think he's going through an especially rough patch right now and we need to figure out a way to get him through this.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 19, 2016 8:49:28 GMT -5
He's very...dramatic...to say the least, and has been since he was little. I honestly don't believe he's really suicidal. Denial Mom? Maybe. But everyone that knows him personally doesn't believe it either. Even the principal that has been with him since he was 4 doesn't think he really means the suicide part, but she's a mandated reporter. She DOES think he's going through an especially rough patch right now and we need to figure out a way to get him through this. Yes, I understand. I'd heard similar comments from my own DS at the worst times. But the idea he is expressing is seriously troublesome. He might harm himself because, in a 60 second period, he just cannot take it anymore. The overwhelming majority of people who attempt suicide are glad to have not succeeded, because they really did not want this permanent end to a temporary problem, no matter how bad it was or seemed at the time. So this is a siren call to take his anger and frustration seriously. May he and you live long and satisfying lives once this period has passed.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 19, 2016 9:46:41 GMT -5
This sounds like a good program. Hopefully the actual service itself is as good as the marketing materials.
My encouragement to you about starting the process with your own experts is based on my prior experience with school support staff and that may or may not be applicable with your situation. But from what I saw, the school based support staff is usually more of a case worker nature not so heavy on the services. From reading the link you provided, the person who will be evaluating and recommending your son's services could be a social worker, dietician or even someone with no mental health training. "Hiawatha Valley’s team members have diverse skills, with education and experiences in a variety of fields, including social work, psychology, counseling, substance abuse, and health & wellness." In other words, they could be very capable or not capable at all - potluck. Again, it could be a great program with great people who are able to get your son exactly what he needs. Or it might be staffed with a few overworked case workers with no mental health training, a traveling psychiatrist, a traveling psychologist and rely heavily on inexpensive but less effective strategies like group talk sessions.
My comments about not waiting were because I'm not very trusting and with something this potentially severe, I wouldn't want to wait and see how good the school based services were. I'd want to get my own specialists started on this especially since it can take time to diagnose and treat. It's a big gamble that the in school services will be good and that Sam really doesn't mean it (or won't be impulsive enough to try) when he discusses suicide. You're closer to the situation than any of us, but IMHO those are some high stakes and I'd want to get some of my own experts working on the situation instead of waiting to see how it plays out. But I'd also be making sure any guns in the house were removed because males are much more likely to have successful suicide attempts with a gun (for obvious reasons) and that's not a chance I'd take with a kid with impulse control issues. Adolescent boys do really dumb things; when adolescent boys with poor impulse control, poor foresight and depression do dumb things they can be fatal.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 19, 2016 9:54:22 GMT -5
Even if you don't think he's actually suicidal the fact that he said that and said it loud enough to garner attention is a big fracking deal. Threatening to harm yourself is serious and not something you should be doing to get attention or create melodrama.
Having to see counselors and psychatrists would hammer home how serious uttering those words was. If he was serious and he is depressed he will get the help he needs for that. If he was doing it to get attention, he will get help for that.
So I agree with the others it's not worth waiting 3 months. This is something that needs to be addressed quickly before it escalates further. You've already said his behavior is getting worse in school and has now progressed to where the school thinks he is going to harm himself. Why wait around to see what happens next?
My brother is someone who regularly used the threat of suicide to get his way. Naturally my parents didn't want to take the risk of him being serious so they would do whatever he wanted them to do. A few weeks later we'd repeat the cycle again. He knew that was a great way of getting attention.
Where I am going with this is if my parents had put him into therapy instead my brother would have gotten the actual help he needed rather than being enabled and it would have nipped the behavior in the bud once he realized it wasn't creating the type of reaction he hoped for.
Sam may be depressed, he may not be. That doesn't change the fact that his behavior in school is unacceptable and threatening to kill yourself is a serious matter. He needs to understand that.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 19, 2016 10:30:53 GMT -5
My brother is someone who regularly used the threat of suicide to get his way. Naturally my parents didn't want to take the risk of him being serious so they would do whatever he wanted them to do. A few weeks later we'd repeat the cycle again. He knew that was a great way of getting attention. Where I am going with this is if my parents had put him into therapy instead my brother would have gotten the actual help he needed rather than being enabled and it would have nipped the behavior in the bud once he realized it wasn't creating the type of reaction he hoped for. BTW, there's no way to know if that's what Sam is doing, but that type of cycle is what I was alluding to when I mentioned MPL might not want to go to the school demanding Sam be removed from PE or have the PE coach stop making him do what the rest of the class is doing whether it's somersaults or something else. If Sam's not really suicidal and is just saying he is in order to get a certain reaction, then providing that reaction (removing him from PE) reinforces that behavior and encourages him to repeat it in the future when he faces something he doesn't want to do. Don't want to ____? Tell mom and/or school you'll kill yourself and you'll be removed from _____.
Again, can't say it enough - there is no way for us to know if this is a situation where Sam is really thinking about suicide or just using the threat because he's discovered it's an effective lever. That's why it's so important to pause the parental actions - because they haven't been effective and may actually be encouraging the behavior - and get some professional mental health help from an expert pronto.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Feb 19, 2016 10:46:27 GMT -5
He's very...dramatic...to say the least, and has been since he was little. I honestly don't believe he's really suicidal. Denial Mom? Maybe. But everyone that knows him personally doesn't believe it either. Even the principal that has been with him since he was 4 doesn't think he really means the suicide part, but she's a mandated reporter. She DOES think he's going through an especially rough patch right now and we need to figure out a way to get him through this. I don't think he's suicidal either according to what you said. Its not that uncommon for people to say I wish I was dead when they are unhappy with something. It can be just a simple declaration of extreme frustration. Do remind him to never say it again at school unless he is looking for help with Depression.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 19, 2016 11:14:01 GMT -5
I am doing something. I don't get why people are saying I'm not. Our FMLA handbook says you can use it for a family member if they have a serious health condition that makes them unable to work/go to school and need you there for assistance. I don't think asking for it to homeschool because my kid is acting up in class would hold water. Plus, there is no way we wouldn't kill each other if I tried to do that anyhow. You can use FMLA to take him to a doctor that is far away, if you don't get satisfaction from the school program.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2016 11:45:01 GMT -5
This sounds like a good program. Hopefully the actual service itself is as good as the marketing materials.
My encouragement to you about starting the process with your own experts is based on my prior experience with school support staff and that may or may not be applicable with your situation. But from what I saw, the school based support staff is usually more of a case worker nature not so heavy on the services. From reading the link you provided, the person who will be evaluating and recommending your son's services could be a social worker, dietician or even someone with no mental health training. "Hiawatha Valley’s team members have diverse skills, with education and experiences in a variety of fields, including social work, psychology, counseling, substance abuse, and health & wellness." In other words, they could be very capable or not capable at all - potluck. Again, it could be a great program with great people who are able to get your son exactly what he needs. Or it might be staffed with a few overworked case workers with no mental health training, a traveling psychiatrist, a traveling psychologist and rely heavily on inexpensive but less effective strategies like group talk sessions.
My comments about not waiting were because I'm not very trusting and with something this potentially severe, I wouldn't want to wait and see how good the school based services were. I'd want to get my own specialists started on this especially since it can take time to diagnose and treat. It's a big gamble that the in school services will be good and that Sam really doesn't mean it (or won't be impulsive enough to try) when he discusses suicide. You're closer to the situation than any of us, but IMHO those are some high stakes and I'd want to get some of my own experts working on the situation instead of waiting to see how it plays out. But I'd also be making sure any guns in the house were removed because males are much more likely to have successful suicide attempts with a gun (for obvious reasons) and that's not a chance I'd take with a kid with impulse control issues. Adolescent boys do really dumb things; when adolescent boys with poor impulse control, poor foresight and depression do dumb things they can be fatal.
If you were to dig into the website more it lists the actual people that do the "Link" program and they are all at least LICSW. I think they should be good for at least escalating to the psychiatrists at the clinic if necessary.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 19, 2016 11:47:54 GMT -5
LCSWs are good, very good. PhDs, too.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 19, 2016 12:07:21 GMT -5
I remember you said you'd be speaking with the school team last night but your DS wouldn't be there. Have they set up a time to talk to both of you yet?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2016 12:32:35 GMT -5
I remember you said you'd be speaking with the school team last night but your DS wouldn't be there. Have they set up a time to talk to both of you yet? It was family services that came to the house last night. She'll be back next Wednesday and DS will be home, but she is mostly a parent's resource person rather than a counselor or anything. I'm sure she'll make observations about him, but her primary job is to help ME. She said before she comes back next week she'll contact the school and Hiawatha to see what's going on there.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 19, 2016 12:36:34 GMT -5
I remember you said you'd be speaking with the school team last night but your DS wouldn't be there. Have they set up a time to talk to both of you yet? It was family services that came to the house last night. She'll be back next Wednesday and DS will be home, but she is mostly a parent's resource person rather than a counselor or anything. I'm sure she'll make observations about him, but her primary job is to help ME. She said before she comes back next week she'll contact the school and Hiawatha to see what's going on there. I see. That makes sense, then. I know you're concerned as are all of us who care about you and your family. You've put the wheels in motion. At this point, the situation needs to be closely watched, I'd say. You know your son better than anybody and can react on a dime, I'm sure, if anything changes or causes alarm.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Feb 19, 2016 19:46:56 GMT -5
One thing to consider is whether services can run through the summer. It's the end of February. If you can't get in with anyone for 3 months, the school year is essentially over and you then have to wait until September to get started, or even for any strategies to take root.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2016 23:04:59 GMT -5
I think there is some confusion. The 3 month wait is for the psychiatrist in town that specializes in children and adolescents. There are other options (including other psychiatrists) available earlier. He was seeing a counselor a couple years ago when I was going through the stuff with Ex2.0. They had a pretty good relationship and met every couple weeks, but he's just not the same kid in a one on one setting with an adult as he is around other kids. I really would like someone trained to observe that and let me know what they think is going on.
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milee
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Post by milee on Feb 20, 2016 7:47:18 GMT -5
I think there is some confusion. The 3 month wait is for the psychiatrist in town that specializes in children and adolescents. There are other options (including other psychiatrists) available earlier. He was seeing a counselor a couple years ago when I was going through the stuff with Ex2.0. They had a pretty good relationship and met every couple weeks, but he's just not the same kid in a one on one setting with an adult as he is around other kids. I really would like someone trained to observe that and let me know what they think is going on. Yes, it makes sense that he's different in different settings. But he can still talk about what's going on with a counselor outside the school setting and benefit from that. You mention that the counselor and Sam had a good relationship, which is a huge benefit. Was the counselor also effective? If so, it would be a very good idea to get Sam back in to see that counselor ASAP. Even if the counselor can't help, s/he can refer you to others professionals if s/he thinks Sam needs that; in fact, that could be the biggest benefit of getting in to see her. Referrals from other mental health professionals carry more weight than a new person calling in to make an appointment. If she thinks there's an urgent need for some sort of treatment, she can probably help you get into that treatment much more quickly.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Feb 20, 2016 9:07:02 GMT -5
I know it may be a little thing but I would still get the daily gym routine, put the kid in front of the entire class to embarrass him showing how he can't do a somersault stopped. This isn't something that he is going to just do at this point. If he can't he can't. All this is at this point is a power trip on the teacher's part. If he didn't do it by know just move one. While it may be a skill that demonstrates something in kindy, it is just stupid for a regular non gymnastic kid in middle school. And for the record my 7th grader couldn't do it either. He still can't swim or ride a bike.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 20, 2016 9:32:50 GMT -5
What is his schedule like? Is he overscheduled which may be stressing him out? Does he have friends at and out of school? Who does he sit with at lunch? What is he doing in school specifically that could be modified?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 9:47:35 GMT -5
I think there is some confusion. The 3 month wait is for the psychiatrist in town that specializes in children and adolescents. There are other options (including other psychiatrists) available earlier. He was seeing a counselor a couple years ago when I was going through the stuff with Ex2.0. They had a pretty good relationship and met every couple weeks, but he's just not the same kid in a one on one setting with an adult as he is around other kids. I really would like someone trained to observe that and let me know what they think is going on. Yes, it makes sense that he's different in different settings. But he can still talk about what's going on with a counselor outside the school setting and benefit from that. You mention that the counselor and Sam had a good relationship, which is a huge benefit. Was the counselor also effective? If so, it would be a very good idea to get Sam back in to see that counselor ASAP. Even if the counselor can't help, s/he can refer you to others professionals if s/he thinks Sam needs that; in fact, that could be the biggest benefit of getting in to see her. Referrals from other mental health professionals carry more weight than a new person calling in to make an appointment. If she thinks there's an urgent need for some sort of treatment, she can probably help you get into that treatment much more quickly. He went for about a year and I didn't really see much of a change in behavior, but at the same time he wasn't there for that. I was a hot mess trying to deal with my then husband living in the woods saying he was going to kill me and court stuff and all that and I figured DS MUST be effected by it somehow, so I got him into counseling so he could talk to someone that wasn't themselves crazy at the time (I hoped not anyhow). I got the impression that the counselor didn't feel that he needed to be there after meeting with him a few months. He stretched out the sessions from weekly to biweekly to monthly and whenever I was brought in to talk to him he said he seems to be a pretty typical 10 year old. He thought he probably had some anxiety issues but not by anything that DS said, just by the way he would fidgit during their talks. Money got really tight after a year of no child support and paying lawyers and Ex's medical bills from when we were married, so I decided to stop sending him. It seemed like they did a lot of talking about fishing and played a lot of games of chess.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 9:52:32 GMT -5
I know it may be a little thing but I would still get the daily gym routine, put the kid in front of the entire class to embarrass him showing how he can't do a somersault stopped. This isn't something that he is going to just do at this point. If he can't he can't. All this is at this point is a power trip on the teacher's part. If he didn't do it by know just move one. While it may be a skill that demonstrates something in kindy, it is just stupid for a regular non gymnastic kid in middle school. And for the record my 7th grader couldn't do it either. He still can't swim or ride a bike. Gymnastics unit is over. For the year and forever for older son. Finally. I've decided after all these years that the guy is just a prick. He never answers any of my emails either and I'm polite in them (don't call him a prick ) He has twin daughters in my younger son's Kindy class. They LOVE my son and are all over him when he comes to school. I sure hope I'm never related to that guy by marriage! Younger son loves phy-ed though. His favorite unit is gymnastics. He was bragging to older son how he did somersaults all the way from one end of the gym to the other. Nice.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 10:01:29 GMT -5
What is his schedule like? Is he overscheduled which may be stressing him out? Does he have friends at and out of school? Who does he sit with at lunch? What is he doing in school specifically that could be modified? Not really. I've tried and tried to find a sport or extracurriculars he'd be interested in, but nothing stuck except Scouts and band. So he does have Scout meetings a lot, especially this year because he's also the Den Chief for the Cub Scouts, but that equals about 7 meetings a month. Jazz band is every Wednesday for an hour after school and he was on the swim team at the Y, but just went to practice 3 times a week to get exercise. He wasn't interested in competing at all. He has one good friend that lives next door to his Dad. This kid used to also go to his school until 6th grade and is in his Scout Troop. He gets along with a few kids in his class, but doesn't do anything with them outside of school. Other than that it's all the boys in his Troop that he's been with since 1st grade. Again, they don't do anything together outside of the scouts and he claims most of them don't like him, but he doesn't want to quit Scouts and always signs up for all their activities. He has been to more campouts/meetings this year than any of the other kids in the Troop and I haven't forced him to do any of them. At school all the 7th/8th graders eat together in a family table type setting.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 20, 2016 10:42:57 GMT -5
Those are good things. Not every kid is into organized things. Kids need down time and sounds like he isnt over scheduled. What about your relationship? Do you have some things you do together at times?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 11:08:16 GMT -5
Those are good things. Not every kid is into organized things. Kids need down time and sounds like he isnt over scheduled. What about your relationship? Do you have some things you do together at times?Hmmmm....that was a tough one. Not really. While he's not overscheduled, I'm pretty strapped for time. I work full time (now an hour away a lot) and even though he isn't in a lot of activities, we're 20 minutes from town, so I spend a lot of time shuttling either him or his brother to and from things. When I am home and not working the weekend I'm trying to get caught up on housework and barn chores or just collapsed in front of the TV or computer recouping from the week. We both are animal lovers, and I bought him a pony when he was 9 so he could maybe start riding with me, but the pony had a few issues and he wasn't really into it, so now he's a pasture ornament. I try getting him out in the barn with me just to get him out of the house, but it's a struggle. Occasionally we'll have game night with his brother or put together a puzzle. Weekends he likes to go to his Dad's (more techy stuff there) or he's with the Scouts (like today).
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 20, 2016 12:27:08 GMT -5
Those are good things. Not every kid is into organized things. Kids need down time and sounds like he isnt over scheduled. What about your relationship? Do you have some things you do together at times?Hmmmm....that was a tough one. Not really. While he's not overscheduled, I'm pretty strapped for time. I work full time (now an hour away a lot) and even though he isn't in a lot of activities, we're 20 minutes from town, so I spend a lot of time shuttling either him or his brother to and from things. When I am home and not working the weekend I'm trying to get caught up on housework and barn chores or just collapsed in front of the TV or computer recouping from the week. We both are animal lovers, and I bought him a pony when he was 9 so he could maybe start riding with me, but the pony had a few issues and he wasn't really into it, so now he's a pasture ornament. I try getting him out in the barn with me just to get him out of the house, but it's a struggle. Occasionally we'll have game night with his brother or put together a puzzle. Weekends he likes to go to his Dad's (more techy stuff there) or he's with the Scouts (like today). I really suggest cooking. It's fun, it's engaging, and it's great bonding time. It can be simply be making mac and cheese and chopping up some veggies. I bought DD her own Apron and we have a couple chefs hats. Now, it's our Thing. And, as I said, you gotta eat so it is a lot easier to fit that in rather than a board game or something. But, do what works for you.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2016 8:49:41 GMT -5
Well, not really getting anywhere with the mental health assessment, although, the last couple weeks have been good at school. No getting sent to the office and he even seems to be making an effort to get caught up on his overdue schoolwork. Two people from family services met with him last week and I met with them alone last night. Both of them started out the conversation with me by saying "Well, he is absolutely NOT what we expected after talking to the school". Yep. Told ya. They thought they were going to meet with this angry, depressed, on the edge kid, but he's this charming, talk your ear off kid that rates his happiness as an 8 on a scale from 1-10. They think he presents like he has Aspergers, but I'm not convinced. The lack of empathy part is the real kicker for me, because he seems very sensitive to others. No repetitive, OCD behavior either. Anyhow, family services is going to see if they can push the assessment through faster. We went to orientation at the public high school last Thursday and that went pretty good. I think it brought down the scary factor for him some to walk the building and see where everything was and I was more comfortable with it too. It's been remodeled some since I went there, so it doesn't seem like "quite" the same school that I went to. That helps. I hated it when I went. Orientation at the private school is next Tuesday. He's decided he would like to do a shadow day with a student at each school to get a better feel for life there before deciding. The public one is already set up through his school, but the private we'll have to schedule on our own.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2016 9:07:02 GMT -5
Oh, and took him to urgent care for a throat culture Tuesday and he's grown another inch since the first of the year. He's 5'9" now. That's 6 inches in 10 months.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2016 9:09:40 GMT -5
MPL, the empathy thing is, again, not necessarily how you think it would manifest as. First lack of empathy isn't diagnostic criteria for autism that I know. Second It's not that autistic kids can't feel. Often they actually intuit emotional level too fast and furious, just like everything else sensory, faster than they can make sense of it. As such it can overload their systems and they feel too much to cope with. This is exacerbated because while they can pick up feeling, they don't find it easy to understand how other people think, they don't pick up the ques. And THAT is actually the definition if empathy, being able to put yourself in another's position. Empathy isn't being able to sympathize with an emotion.
As far as repetitive behaviors, they don't always show as ocd. Does he like routine? Does he have a pattern of comfort behaviors?
And this is a spectrum as well, not everyone will manifest everything to the same degree in the same way.
Again, while I am not a label for label sake person, I do think understanding how people with a certain personality and tendencies work is not a bad thing, and can help mitigate issues. I'd just encourage an open mind to the process...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2016 10:03:31 GMT -5
It's not me so much as his Dad. He's very anti-labeling and is against pursuing much here. He is from a family where they are ALL math-loving, OCD social misfits. His Grandfather was the founder of a rocket club in the 1950's that made international news when they launched a rocket that they built (Mousenik). The Russians were mocking the US saying high school kids could do it before the US. He's crazy smart, but NO FILTERS. I'm pretty sure they don't even take him out in public anymore. His Dad and uncles and aunts are just tamed down versions of the same thing. All in either computers or engineering. Very meticulous with their work. His aunt is full blown OCD but is the single most productive person I've ever met. She is the CFO for a company, is an adjunct professor at the local university and is constantly crafting and quiliting on the side. She will watch American Idol with a spreadsheet complete with photos to fill in notes as she watches. But, no filters. Very loud. An acquired taste for sure. In this family he's very normal. His Dad's only concern is he's wasting all his brain on video games and not applying himself anywhere that matters.
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