beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 25, 2015 3:50:46 GMT -5
First, go watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. You completely missed both of my allusions, which I am sure aj got. Second, hypocrite much? I didn't "let" her do anything, she did it. First you accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, now you're saying I'm "letting her" do things. If I didn't "let her" sign, you'd accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, and treating her like a child. If I "let her" sign, I'm a bad person. Which is it? Am I manipulative and controlling, or am I letting her be independent and make her own decisions? Oh I think I've maintained my manipulative/controlling stance the whole time. You said yourself that she had another deal all arranged and you had to save her from herself yet again and take charge of it and get her a completely different car at a lower interest rate. Why did you not look further for an even better deal? Why not read through everything yourself to approve of before letting her sign? If you took it upon yourself to find her this perfect deal,you really missed the mark. Time crunch. It is easy to say, "Hey, go look at a few credit unions, find a lower rate", but if the person you're with won't do that, what do you do? The best you can. If I had said I wouldn't let her sign because I didn't have time to read through everything (again, time crunch, she wanted to get the car and go to work by a certain hour), that would be controlling behavior. I love how you 'maintain' I'm manipulative and controlling, and yet your answer is for me to exert more control over her. Your hypocrisy is astonishing. I have yet to say this is a 'perfect deal'. It is just better than what the other salesman was trying to foist on her, and the best we could get at the time. Are there things we could have done to make it a much better deal? Sure. I could co-sign, but that makes me financially responsible for the car. I could put in a much bigger down payment and lower the rates, but that also makes me more responsible for her car. Hell, at that point, why don't I just go all-in and buy the car for cash?
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beergut
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Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
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Post by beergut on Dec 25, 2015 3:52:34 GMT -5
I work in finance, the main thing I do is help people to retire. In order to be able to sell some of the financial products to do that (i.e. fixed income products, for example), it helps to have a life and health insurance license. If you get life and health, you might as well get property and casualty, so I did. I wrote her auto policy because I can, but I don't really write a lot of auto policies, maybe 4-5 a year. I do not care if your best friend is a man, just like I don't care when someone who tells me an obviously racist joke that they're not racist, they have minority friends. The context of your posts suggests otherwise. Assume away. It doesn't really matter what you think anyway. Then why are you here? Why reply in a thread I post?
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beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
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Post by beergut on Dec 25, 2015 4:08:57 GMT -5
There is a credit 'rating' we see, not a credit score. It is simply a letter of the alphabet to tell us how good/bad their rating is. I can count the number of A ratings I've seen on one hand. You mean on the 4-5 that you write per year? You do understand that quoting and writing isn't the same thing, right? If you run a quote, you see the rating. It doesn't necessarily mean you will write the policy. If you run a quote and they have a poor rating, there is a pretty good chance that you're not going to be writing a policy for that client.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 25, 2015 7:22:40 GMT -5
No name, can't wait to hear back from you!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 25, 2015 10:07:46 GMT -5
Assume away. It doesn't really matter what you think anyway. Then why are you here? Why reply in a thread I post? Honestly. At this point, I want to see what NNP has to say. After that I think this thread and all it's stupid will sink into the abyss surely to be followed by another bragplaint thread about how you had to save ole girl again because Christmas wiped her out.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 25, 2015 13:27:28 GMT -5
Someone with a mortgage in her name will have a credit history. If she has no credit history then the mortgage is not in her name
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beergut
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Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
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Post by beergut on Dec 25, 2015 13:27:30 GMT -5
Then why are you here? Why reply in a thread I post? Honestly. At this point, I want to see what NNP has to say. After that I think this thread and all it's stupid will sink into the abyss surely to be followed by another bragplaint thread about how you had to save ole girl again because Christmas wiped her out. The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 25, 2015 14:48:38 GMT -5
You mean on the 4-5 that you write per year? You do understand that quoting and writing isn't the same thing, right? If you run a quote, you see the rating. It doesn't necessarily mean you will write the policy. If you run a quote and they have a poor rating, there is a pretty good chance that you're not going to be writing a policy for that client. Oh really, I had no clue? Thanks for the enlightenment. If that's your bind rate and you're quoting more than 4-5, your closing ratio sucks. Maybe some work on your self instead of your girlfriend would help... All sarcasm aside and with sincerity, I hope you start to work on yourself and some self-awareness and personal reflection. I've consistently watched your threads, and every point that people make when things like this come up, you regularly choose to argue and rationalize rather than maybe swallow some hard truths and reflect on your contribution to the situation at hand. The ability to do that comes with maturity and emotional intelligence. I come here for advice often, and I am always met with a combination of criticism, harsh words and some great feedback or ideas that never entered my mind. Depending on the topic (particularly DH and some old work things), some things were very, very hard to hear, but rather than being argumentative, I spend time reflecting and take the good and leave the bad. I also recognize that what I choose to share here is the complete picture other posters are working with, and how they make their judgments. I hope that regardless of the completeness, accuracy, facts, etc. that you've shared, you really do take the good you've been given from YM to reflect and work through it. Merry Christmas to you.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Dec 26, 2015 13:03:10 GMT -5
...:::"Someone who is so precarious financially that she depends on men is not only not setting good examples for her children who have been watching mom play this game for quite awhile now but is also one man away from disaster.":::...
One wonders whether: A) Mom both recognizes and admits her involvement in bringing about this situation. B) Kid, either now, or when older, recognizes it AND knows NOT to model it.
...:::"Time crunch. It is easy to say, "Hey, go look at a few credit unions, find a lower rate", but if the person you're with won't do that, what do you do? The best you can.":::...
I totally get beergut's dilemma here, because it affects them both directly. From his perspective, it is clear as day that this deal will be yet another contributor to the all-too-familiar and easily avoidable downward spiral that is ends not meeting and all the drama contained therewith. He's sitting there thinking gosh darnit it's just so obvious and isn't it worth scaling back on some frivolity to avoid what she cries about later yet never changes!
I get it. I have the same mindset. It is hard to overcome. Trying to make sure I understand the other perspective is a good starting point.
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beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
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Post by beergut on Dec 26, 2015 22:20:12 GMT -5
You do understand that quoting and writing isn't the same thing, right? If you run a quote, you see the rating. It doesn't necessarily mean you will write the policy. If you run a quote and they have a poor rating, there is a pretty good chance that you're not going to be writing a policy for that client. Oh really, I had no clue? Thanks for the enlightenment. If that's your bind rate and you're quoting more than 4-5, your closing ratio sucks. Maybe some work on your self instead of your girlfriend would help... My close ratio on auto insurance does suck. I guess it's a good thing my boss doesn't care, and views any auto policies I bring in as an unexpected bonus since it isn't my job.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 27, 2015 6:42:11 GMT -5
...:::"Someone who is so precarious financially that she depends on men is not only not setting good examples for her children who have been watching mom play this game for quite awhile now but is also one man away from disaster.":::... One wonders whether: A) Mom both recognizes and admits her involvement in bringing about this situation. B) Kid, either now, or when older, recognizes it AND knows NOT to model it. ...:::"Time crunch. It is easy to say, "Hey, go look at a few credit unions, find a lower rate", but if the person you're with won't do that, what do you do? The best you can.":::... I totally get beergut's dilemma here, because it affects them both directly. From his perspective, it is clear as day that this deal will be yet another contributor to the all-too-familiar and easily avoidable downward spiral that is ends not meeting and all the drama contained therewith. He's sitting there thinking gosh darnit it's just so obvious and isn't it worth scaling back on some frivolity to avoid what she cries about later yet never changes! I get it. I have the same mindset. It is hard to overcome. Trying to make sure I understand the other perspective is a good starting point. [br You married someone who seems to have gotten on board with you. Yes, mistakes were made in the past. Costly ones that you both will pay for and remember never to do again. Your wife was exposing semi adults to situations that aren't healthy and she isn't continuing to still make poor decisions. The best decision she ever made was you. The "girlfriend " in this situation not only is in terrible financial shape, she's making way too many other poor decisions that also affect others. If she had a good friend that could suggest seeing a counselor that might help. Seems like she needs to see a couple. One being financial and the other being why she's on a path that isn't a good one. I feel sorry for her because I recognize some self esteem issues. Those are damaging and they do get passed down to kids. ]
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 27, 2015 6:43:21 GMT -5
Wasn't not was exposing.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Dec 27, 2015 10:33:56 GMT -5
Awh thanks zib! It's kind of funny, DW and I have had some car stories in the past. Both times, DW admitted that she'd already mentally committed to the car and wouldn't have fought as hard. On our last purchase, I pushed hard and saved us about 4 payments worth. We were already at a good price, but I wanted a great price and I got it. It is what it is... car dealerships overall on average are still harder on women, like how society is still harder on stay at home Dads.
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