beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 24, 2015 1:32:58 GMT -5
I was at the lot with her. She isn't incapable of anything, she is just a little too receptive to a good sales pitch. I know that you don't like men, and like to paint us all as control freaks, but that isn't reality. Check your misandry. She was told a payment amount she could afford, she didn't delve any deeper than that. She gave me the insurance paperwork because I wrote her auto policy. Sorry to destroy your 'white knight/controlling jerk" narrative. If you are such a great negotiator and an expert at car buying as you suggest, wouldn't you have looked at the paperwork with her if you were there? And are you her insurance agent? I don't remember what it is that you do. I didn't think it was insurance agent though. I guess I could comb your other threads for information, but I don't care that much. And contrary to what you believe, I don't hate men. My best friend is a man and he will tell you that I am one of the guys just like him only much prettier. I also date men and have no trouble attracting one. So maybe you should try fixing what's wrong with your situation or just accepting it instead of thinking you know so much about others. You know what is said about assumption. I work in finance, the main thing I do is help people to retire. In order to be able to sell some of the financial products to do that (i.e. fixed income products, for example), it helps to have a life and health insurance license. If you get life and health, you might as well get property and casualty, so I did. I wrote her auto policy because I can, but I don't really write a lot of auto policies, maybe 4-5 a year. I do not care if your best friend is a man, just like I don't care when someone who tells me an obviously racist joke that they're not racist, they have minority friends. The context of your posts suggests otherwise.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 24, 2015 1:39:12 GMT -5
I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence. I hope 8 lb 6 oz baby Jesus gives you a thicker skin, so you don't get offended by everything on the Internet. Obviously not if you let your girl sign a note with 17% interest on a car. Especially if you were at the dealership with her. First, go watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. You completely missed both of my allusions, which I am sure aj got. Second, hypocrite much? I didn't "let" her do anything, she did it. First you accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, now you're saying I'm "letting her" do things. If I didn't "let her" sign, you'd accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, and treating her like a child. If I "let her" sign, I'm a bad person. Which is it? Am I manipulative and controlling, or am I letting her be independent and make her own decisions?
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 24, 2015 1:41:17 GMT -5
Obviously not if you let your girl sign a note with 17% interest on a car. Especially if you were at the dealership with her. Why not? Because I had a friend that tried to be the savior and save his girlfriend from terrible debt... Guess what? He is paying 20k credit card debt back in his name since they broke up. It would have been smarter for him to pull a "beergut"; let her keep the bad interest rate and help her come up with a plan to pay the debt down faster accomplishing 2 things: - debt going down - better credit rating. 12 months of good diligent payments she can probably refinance to a lower rate; price of having bad or no credit. Bingo!!! This is her plan, bite the bullet and make the payments for one year, and then refinance to a lower rate.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 24, 2015 1:45:44 GMT -5
There is an underwriting score on your insurance policy. It takes a ton of stuff into consideration including your credit to generate this score. Your agent will never see what your actual credit score is. Just what the computer determines what the underwriting score is. There is a credit 'rating' we see, not a credit score. It is simply a letter of the alphabet to tell us how good/bad their rating is. I can count the number of A ratings I've seen on one hand.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 24, 2015 2:01:25 GMT -5
It seems as though the GF has no intention of doing anything that could help her financially. Frankly, why should she? Beer rides in on his white horse and once again (for whatever reason) saves her from certain disaster. Whether it's no money for the kids, no money to buy the kids a car, vacations, Kitchenaid mixer or whatever her heart desires. After he saves the day, he comes here to complain that she just doesn't get it and she won't do what he says.
This is simply a disaster looking for a place to happen, and neither of them look in the mirror long enough to see they (not the other person) are the ones responsible for this mess and this impasse. In the meantime, she has herself a sugar Daddy, and he's sleeping in her bed with good benefits, and pays few if any of the household bills. What a deal!
Furthermore, this is a great example for teenage kids.......not! A lot of assumptions and bonus moralizing, what a post!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2015 5:52:52 GMT -5
Obviously not if you let your girl sign a note with 17% interest on a car. Especially if you were at the dealership with her. First, go watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. You completely missed both of my allusions, which I am sure aj got. Second, hypocrite much? I didn't "let" her do anything, she did it. First you accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, now you're saying I'm "letting her" do things. If I didn't "let her" sign, you'd accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, and treating her like a child. If I "let her" sign, I'm a bad person. Which is it? Am I manipulative and controlling, or am I letting her be independent and make her own decisions? Haven't you pretty much said you set up this deal because it was preferable to the one she found herself? What interest rate was her deal offering? Was that the 24%?
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mamasita99
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Post by mamasita99 on Dec 24, 2015 7:08:07 GMT -5
My first used car loan was 13%, I was 18 years old.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Dec 24, 2015 7:35:51 GMT -5
Well then if there's zero credit history I guess the mortgage isn't in her name. I just find that very odd if she had cards and stuff before she froze it. The Anthem breach wasn't that long ago.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 8:40:55 GMT -5
Obviously not if you let your girl sign a note with 17% interest on a car. Especially if you were at the dealership with her. First, go watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. You completely missed both of my allusions, which I am sure aj got. Second, hypocrite much? I didn't "let" her do anything, she did it. First you accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, now you're saying I'm "letting her" do things. If I didn't "let her" sign, you'd accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, and treating her like a child. If I "let her" sign, I'm a bad person. Which is it? Am I manipulative and controlling, or am I letting her be independent and make her own decisions? Oh I think I've maintained my manipulative/controlling stance the whole time. You said yourself that she had another deal all arranged and you had to save her from herself yet again and take charge of it and get her a completely different car at a lower interest rate. Why did you not look further for an even better deal? Why not read through everything yourself to approve of before letting her sign? If you took it upon yourself to find her this perfect deal,you really missed the mark.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 8:44:23 GMT -5
There is an underwriting score on your insurance policy. It takes a ton of stuff into consideration including your credit to generate this score. Your agent will never see what your actual credit score is. Just what the computer determines what the underwriting score is. There is a credit 'rating' we see, not a credit score. It is simply a letter of the alphabet to tell us how good/bad their rating is. I can count the number of A ratings I've seen on one hand. If varies from company to company. One I write for has a letter and a number. Two of them don't let me see the score, but if the rate is all messed up, you can put pieces together and figure out why. Another has a number from 1600 to 2400. It just depends where you look.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 8:45:27 GMT -5
My first used car loan was 13%, I was 18 years old. I bought my first new car at 19 and my rate was 5.9%.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 8:46:49 GMT -5
If you are such a great negotiator and an expert at car buying as you suggest, wouldn't you have looked at the paperwork with her if you were there? And are you her insurance agent? I don't remember what it is that you do. I didn't think it was insurance agent though. I guess I could comb your other threads for information, but I don't care that much. And contrary to what you believe, I don't hate men. My best friend is a man and he will tell you that I am one of the guys just like him only much prettier. I also date men and have no trouble attracting one. So maybe you should try fixing what's wrong with your situation or just accepting it instead of thinking you know so much about others. You know what is said about assumption. I work in finance, the main thing I do is help people to retire. In order to be able to sell some of the financial products to do that (i.e. fixed income products, for example), it helps to have a life and health insurance license. If you get life and health, you might as well get property and casualty, so I did. I wrote her auto policy because I can, but I don't really write a lot of auto policies, maybe 4-5 a year. I do not care if your best friend is a man, just like I don't care when someone who tells me an obviously racist joke that they're not racist, they have minority friends. The context of your posts suggests otherwise. Assume away. It doesn't really matter what you think anyway.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 8:52:08 GMT -5
So I have a question. At what point do you realize that you've beat the horse long enough and it's still dead? You can't change someone no matter how hard you try. Tomorrow you're still going to be you and she'll still be her. You aren't going to fix her and you shouldn't have to. She also shouldn't want to be with someone who thinks she needs fixing. You really need to decide if you are willing to accept her as she is or not. If not, move on. If you are, move forward.
Or the third option is that you really are a troll and just need to find a new hobby.
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Spellbound454
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Post by Spellbound454 on Dec 24, 2015 8:55:30 GMT -5
I always save and pay cash for mine....Cars tend to devalue sharply.... so I would usually buy a good condition a couple of years old. Bought a new/used one this week...the other VW started to cost money, so I part exchanged it for a newer model. Its got to be a comfortable drive and get me to work without stopping. Don't need anything flashy...just something which meets my needs.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 24, 2015 9:15:56 GMT -5
Why not? Because I had a friend that tried to be the savior and save his girlfriend from terrible debt... Guess what? He is paying 20k credit card debt back in his name since they broke up. It would have been smarter for him to pull a "beergut"; let her keep the bad interest rate and help her come up with a plan to pay the debt down faster accomplishing 2 things: - debt going down - better credit rating. 12 months of good diligent payments she can probably refinance to a lower rate; price of having bad or no credit. Bingo!!! This is her plan, bite the bullet and make the payments for one year, and then refinance to a lower rate. Then what's the problem? Your GF had a problem. She fixed it. She's got a plan to deal with the high payments. You both like your current financial arrangement. Your relationship is working for you. I'm not sure the point of all of this..
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 24, 2015 9:44:07 GMT -5
There is an underwriting score on your insurance policy. It takes a ton of stuff into consideration including your credit to generate this score. Your agent will never see what your actual credit score is. Just what the computer determines what the underwriting score is. There is a credit 'rating' we see, not a credit score. It is simply a letter of the alphabet to tell us how good/bad their rating is. I can count the number of A ratings I've seen on one hand. You mean on the 4-5 that you write per year?
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 24, 2015 9:46:11 GMT -5
There is a credit 'rating' we see, not a credit score. It is simply a letter of the alphabet to tell us how good/bad their rating is. I can count the number of A ratings I've seen on one hand. If varies from company to company. One I write for has a letter and a number. Two of them don't let me see the score, but if the rate is all messed up, you can put pieces together and figure out why. Another has a number from 1600 to 2400. It just depends where you look. Yes, this is my experience too. I'd surmise that he's got access to just a handful of carriers, if that.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 24, 2015 9:47:20 GMT -5
There is a credit 'rating' we see, not a credit score. It is simply a letter of the alphabet to tell us how good/bad their rating is. I can count the number of A ratings I've seen on one hand. You mean on the 4-5 that you write per year? Well, that does by definition meet the criteria that he can count them on one hand.
Your questions make it obvious you're just a man hater.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 24, 2015 9:52:39 GMT -5
WOW I've been reading "at" this thread and started to post my opinion. But then I realized what I did when married (concerning finances) and what I would do as someone living with someone are entirely different. And what I would/did do while living with someone would probably make beergut and some others heads completely explode thereby causing a big mess here
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 24, 2015 9:58:34 GMT -5
Now you HAVE to tell us NNP!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 10:34:47 GMT -5
Now you HAVE to tell us NNP! Yeah! Spill it!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 24, 2015 11:12:11 GMT -5
Yeah, this one has runs it course. Same old same old.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 24, 2015 11:13:49 GMT -5
I will lay it all out when I have more time. I am toggling back and forth with AT&T right now trying to get phone service back up and running.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Dec 24, 2015 11:28:32 GMT -5
I will lay it all out when I have more time. I am toggling back and forth with AT&T right now trying to get phone service back up and running. Who cares about phone service? Our online friends want a good story.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 24, 2015 11:58:08 GMT -5
Such a tease.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Dec 24, 2015 13:12:13 GMT -5
...:::"At what point do you realize that you've beat the horse long enough and it's still dead? You can't change someone no matter how hard you try. Tomorrow you're still going to be you and she'll still be her. You aren't going to fix her and you shouldn't have to.":::...
I'd like to address this question with another question. Let's for a moment put aside both their flaws and actions and hopefully agree that if the best rate she can qualify for is a car loan in the teens, then there is room for improvement. I'm not endorsing either of their methods, but I think it is safe to say that when your interest rate is higher than the age of the person you are buying the car for, you have a problem that needs to be addressed.
I'm still having trouble identifying that line between "beating a dead horse" and "never giving up on someone's potential". I can see how making someone feel talked down to causes him/her to feel talked down to. I've tried hard to change my approach and make sure that I'm looking broadly at multiple paths to multiple outcomes instead of being upset that the one path I preferred didn't happen. Still, someone who is in that "denial/remorse" cycle, and has been for a long time doesn't always have the willpower to change on their own. The guidance of someone else can be a tremendous crutch.
I guess I've seen it go several ways. Sometimes it's a waste of time to even try. Other times, even though they fight you every step of the way, they thank you after they realize they have ended up better off. Perhaps it is about recognizing the difference, or perhaps it is just a fantasy. Depends on how you want to spend your time I guess.
If she's come up with a reasonably good plan, I hope it works out. Let us know in a year if she can refinance.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 24, 2015 14:45:40 GMT -5
Someone who is so precarious financially that she depends on men is not only not setting good examples for her children who have been watching mom play this game for quite awhile now but is also one man away from disaster.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Dec 24, 2015 15:34:44 GMT -5
Random thoughts regarding this thread:
1) DS#1, age 26 (now 27) purchased a car less than a year ago at 24.99% financing. He knew it wasn't a great idea, which is why he didn't tell us until after he did it. He doesn't have much established credit as he finished his BS at 25 and had only recently started working full time.
2) Isn't the point of any thread started here simply to have human interaction? Sometimes we find that interaction annoying. Other times we find it amusing. Other times we find it quite helpful.
3)Merry Christmas!
4)Parenting is a terrible and wonderful activity that is never ever done perfectly by anyone.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 25, 2015 3:32:22 GMT -5
First, go watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. You completely missed both of my allusions, which I am sure aj got. Second, hypocrite much? I didn't "let" her do anything, she did it. First you accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, now you're saying I'm "letting her" do things. If I didn't "let her" sign, you'd accuse me of being manipulative and controlling, and treating her like a child. If I "let her" sign, I'm a bad person. Which is it? Am I manipulative and controlling, or am I letting her be independent and make her own decisions? Haven't you pretty much said you set up this deal because it was preferable to the one she found herself? What interest rate was her deal offering? Was that the 24%? I told her the original deal she had was a bad one, she was getting screwed over. She said I was too late, she was going to take that deal unless I could find her the same model car she wanted with some of the same amenities, i.e. tan interior, sun roof, etc, at a lower price. Otherwise, she was going in to sign the papers and pick up the car the next morning. I found a car at a lower price with the amenities she wanted at a dealership closer to us. In hindsight, I think her plan was to go to the dealership to humor me, reject the car, and then have me drive her to the other dealership to get the car she wanted. Regardless of how good or bad the deal was, she was going home with a car that day. The 24.99% rate was the first offer they gave her on the car she ended up getting. I think the interest rate on the other car was the same 17.99%, but the note was for a longer time period, and the monthly payment was $150 more. Again, she thought this salesman was giving her a good deal.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 25, 2015 3:37:57 GMT -5
Well then if there's zero credit history I guess the mortgage isn't in her name. I just find that very odd if she had cards and stuff before she froze it. The Anthem breach wasn't that long ago. I'm fairly certain the mortgage is in her name, her husband didn't have the income to qualify at that time. She's had the house for 4 years now. Again, when we first started dating, she told me she had a poor credit history. The credit report they ran at the dealership said no credit history. At this point,
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