NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 29, 2015 17:25:56 GMT -5
No, but if you are doing a good job, you could contact TLoony and give her some MIL pimp out lessons, since she is trying to get rid of her mom turn her mother into Rent-A-Yenta sell her mother to the highest Russian-speaking bidder match her up. Well, there goes another monitor and keyboard, damn it! I wonder if Fry's has a frequent flyer plan? Experience has taught me not to eat and drink while on this message board But will admit that it was a lesson learned the hard/messy/expensive way
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 29, 2015 17:40:22 GMT -5
Not sure if I missed it being posted, but she has to be married to him for 10 years IIRC to get access to his SS.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2015 17:52:53 GMT -5
Okay, not an authority but I see some potential issues here:
1. Mom will NOT get the same SS as BF, maybe the larger of her's based on employment record or 50% of his.
2. Most pensions do require an initial election when you qualify and begin withdrawal such as 100% benefit as long as you live and screw everyone else or 75% benefit for you and 50% for beneficiary, etc. But I think many plans also allow you to change election in case of a qualifying event such as divorce, death or marriage.
3. The lack of a will is a huge red flag here b/c, no matter what BF wants or plans, if the man dies intestate, state law will probably determine who gets what. Sadly, once a state gets through plowing through records, potential heirs often don't get a heck of a lot.
4. I am not sensing that these folks live in a community property state but, if they do, it's a very different ball game because that state's common-law marriage statues would apply if the couple has represented themselves as married.
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justme
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Post by justme on Oct 29, 2015 17:54:05 GMT -5
I believe the 10 years rule only comes into play when you're divorced from the person. As far as I know you could be married one day and still be eligible for their ss.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Oct 29, 2015 18:08:31 GMT -5
You might try blackmail, holding the grandkids hostage. That's what my daughter did. Fortunately, DH was a good sport about it.
This sounds like a good story!
Spill!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Oct 29, 2015 23:24:33 GMT -5
When I get older losing my hair Many years from now Will you still be sending me a valentine Birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I'd been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four?
You'll be older too And if you say the word I could stay with you
I could be handy, mending a fuse When your lights have gone You can knit a sweater by the fireside Sunday mornings go for a ride Doing the garden, digging the weeds Who could ask for more? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four?
Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight If it's not too dear We shall scrimp and save Grandchildren on your knee Vera, Chuck & Dave
Send me a postcard, drop me a line Stating point of view Indicate precisely what you mean to say Yours sincerely, wasting away Give me your answer, fill in a form Mine for evermore Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm sixty-four? Ho!
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 29, 2015 23:37:41 GMT -5
WA doesn't have common law marriage. If he married her she would own all his stuff unless he kept it separate not comingled. So if he wanted his kids to get money for example he would need to keep it in an account that he and his bride didn't contribute to. She would inherit everything comingled like the house they live in, he could leave his kids a rental house if he didn't pay for it with marital funds.
I am not married because of WA state laws, ISO got a will to leave me his house and his stuff with a little for a few other people like his motorcycle to a riding buddy and guns to a cousin. I got a beneficiary form to leave him my ROTH IRA, that is all. He wants to marry me but only 3 years before he dies so he thinks I could get some pension money. He has no home equity so his boat is all I really want, I persuaded him to get a will so I could get his boat, I won't be leaving him my house but I have a boat at his house, I should get a will so he can get my boat but with the ROTH he could buy my boat from my family.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Oct 30, 2015 0:58:34 GMT -5
Heck I am working on pimping out my MIL... Anyone interested? Lots of chrome and a great paint job?
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Oct 30, 2015 2:45:30 GMT -5
Good luck. Even if you convince your mom she needs to do this, the boyfriend might not be interested anymore. Do you know why they don't want to do a will? Maybe if you do the research and find a lawyer for them and offer to pay they would do it? It would be worth the money to pay for everything if you know your mom will be able to live on her own after boyfriend passes. But you also have to be prepared for her not wanting to live alone even if she can afford it. That is hard on a lot of people.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 30, 2015 8:51:59 GMT -5
WA doesn't have common law marriage. If he married her she would own all his stuff unless he kept it separate not comingled. So if he wanted his kids to get money for example he would need to keep it in an account that he and his bride didn't contribute to. She would inherit everything comingled like the house they live in, he could leave his kids a rental house if he didn't pay for it with marital funds. I am not married because of WA state laws, ISO got a will to leave me his house and his stuff with a little for a few other people like his motorcycle to a riding buddy and guns to a cousin. I got a beneficiary form to leave him my ROTH IRA, that is all. He wants to marry me but only 3 years before he dies so he thinks I could get some pension money. He has no home equity so his boat is all I really want, I persuaded him to get a will so I could get his boat, I won't be leaving him my house but I have a boat at his house, I should get a will so he can get my boat but with the ROTH he could buy my boat from my family. I have to ask...if your ISO has the crystal ball in hand to predict this date, can I use it, too? Seriously, that would be awesome if he got that right!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 30, 2015 8:55:02 GMT -5
Heck I am working on pimping out my MIL... Anyone interested? Lots of chrome and a great paint job? I'd touch up her headlights and of course, make sure there's no junk in the trunk as well.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 30, 2015 13:11:36 GMT -5
I believe the 10 years rule only comes into play when you're divorced from the person. As far as I know you could be married one day and still be eligible for their ss. Is that right? Whoops - Apologize for spreading wrong information. That must be what was in my mind.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 30, 2015 13:13:03 GMT -5
I believe the 10 years rule only comes into play when you're divorced from the person. As far as I know you could be married one day and still be eligible for their ss. And you know what, that's kind of amazing. Access to 30 years of SS for being married one day!! Something to think about (since I am also technically not married, living in WA).
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Oct 30, 2015 13:28:11 GMT -5
I believe the 10 years rule only comes into play when you're divorced from the person. As far as I know you could be married one day and still be eligible for their ss. Almost . You need to be married for 2 years to get survivor SS.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Oct 30, 2015 13:57:31 GMT -5
I believe the 10 years rule only comes into play when you're divorced from the person. As far as I know you could be married one day and still be eligible for their ss. Almost . You need to be married for 2 years to get survivor SS. Or 9 months.
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missk82
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Post by missk82 on Oct 30, 2015 14:27:18 GMT -5
If they were married, she would step up to the amount of his SS benefit when he passes.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 30, 2015 17:39:13 GMT -5
And you know what, that's kind of amazing. Access to 30 years of SS for being married one day!! Something to think about (since I am also technically not married, living in WA). Yes, but your earnings record vs. you SO are probably not different by the time you retire, i'm guessing.
In mom's case, her partner had much higher lifetime earnings than she did, despite her working every day since about 20 years old.
Yeah, but if I retire early I might not have 30 yrs of high earnings. No it definitely makes sense for your mom then. Not so much for me.
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cronewitch
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I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 31, 2015 3:36:41 GMT -5
WA doesn't have common law marriage. If he married her she would own all his stuff unless he kept it separate not comingled. So if he wanted his kids to get money for example he would need to keep it in an account that he and his bride didn't contribute to. She would inherit everything comingled like the house they live in, he could leave his kids a rental house if he didn't pay for it with marital funds. I am not married because of WA state laws, ISO got a will to leave me his house and his stuff with a little for a few other people like his motorcycle to a riding buddy and guns to a cousin. I got a beneficiary form to leave him my ROTH IRA, that is all. He wants to marry me but only 3 years before he dies so he thinks I could get some pension money. He has no home equity so his boat is all I really want, I persuaded him to get a will so I could get his boat, I won't be leaving him my house but I have a boat at his house, I should get a will so he can get my boat but with the ROTH he could buy my boat from my family. I have to ask...if your ISO has the crystal ball in hand to predict this date, can I use it, too? Seriously, that would be awesome if he got that right! I don't think he has a special way to know. He is 68, drinks, overweight, smokes, coughs until he can't breathe and doesn't exercise. The men in his family don't live long lives if they smoke, he told me emphysema runs in his family among the men that smoke. The men who don't smoke live much longer. Maybe marry him soon, buy him cigarettes and beer as wedding gifts, send him out on his Harley in the rain 3 years after wedding.
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mamasita99
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Post by mamasita99 on Oct 31, 2015 5:36:55 GMT -5
I have to ask...if your ISO has the crystal ball in hand to predict this date, can I use it, too? Seriously, that would be awesome if he got that right! I don't think he has a special way to know. He is 68, drinks, overweight, smokes, coughs until he can't breathe and doesn't exercise. The men in his family don't live long lives if they smoke, he told me emphysema runs in his family among the men that smoke. The men who don't smoke live much longer. Maybe marry him soon, buy him cigarettes and beer as wedding gifts, send him out on his Harley in the rain 3 years after wedding. Hmm, sounds like you put some thought into this, Crone! The men and women of YM, we are planners!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 31, 2015 12:28:00 GMT -5
I have to ask...if your ISO has the crystal ball in hand to predict this date, can I use it, too? Seriously, that would be awesome if he got that right! I don't think he has a special way to know. He is 68, drinks, overweight, smokes, coughs until he can't breathe and doesn't exercise. The men in his family don't live long lives if they smoke, he told me emphysema runs in his family among the men that smoke. The men who don't smoke live much longer. Maybe marry him soon, buy him cigarettes and beer as wedding gifts, send him out on his Harley in the rain 3 years after wedding. Is it OK with you that I laughed so hard the club soda just I was enjoying came out of my nose?
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Oct 31, 2015 12:54:18 GMT -5
Do you have a really crappy room/garage/shed somewhere on your property? Show her her future "room". Seriously - All you can do is show her the financial reasoning to why you think it's a good idea but it's on them whether they want to marry or not. Good luck! Where is zibanski with her nasty comments? Is she reserved for me only?
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Oct 31, 2015 13:05:08 GMT -5
Zib and Tloon...it doesn't rhyme.
Zib is opinionated, you are almost crazy...but in a fun and good way. You know that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 31, 2015 20:33:21 GMT -5
I believe the 10 years rule only comes into play when you're divorced from the person. As far as I know you could be married one day and still be eligible for their ss. Almost . You need to be married for 2 years to get survivor SS. Um not true. I was only married to DH for a little over ten months and I will be getting survivor benefits.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 31, 2015 20:39:59 GMT -5
It's one thing to be legitimately concerned about your mother's welfare as well as wondering why she refuses to marry a guy she's been with forever. It's another to encourage someone to pimp themselves out to save you the trouble of supporting them.
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 31, 2015 23:33:22 GMT -5
Do you have a really crappy room/garage/shed somewhere on your property? Show her her future "room". Seriously - All you can do is show her the financial reasoning to why you think it's a good idea but it's on them whether they want to marry or not. Good luck! Where is zibanski with her nasty comments? Is she reserved for me only? Hold on and let me check...
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Nov 8, 2015 9:32:07 GMT -5
Where is zibanski with her nasty comments? Is she reserved for me only? Hold on and let me check... I figured that...out.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Nov 8, 2015 9:37:18 GMT -5
Zib and Tloon...it doesn't rhyme. Zib is opinionated, you are almost crazy...but in a fun and good way. You know that. Does POM and ZIB rhymes? Because it seems like they 2 related? And both are very similar in their 'character'
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Nov 8, 2015 9:39:30 GMT -5
It's one thing to be legitimately concerned about your mother's welfare as well as wondering why she refuses to marry a guy she's been with forever. It's another to encourage someone to pimp themselves out to save you the trouble of supporting them. Seriously? And how do YOU determine without a doubt which one is which Of course you are SURE you will be taken care of. And there is no way things can get wrong.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 8, 2015 10:34:43 GMT -5
If you aren't guilty of it, why are you so upset? Methinks thou dost protest too much.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 8, 2015 10:49:23 GMT -5
I've heard the term "helicopter parents" maybe we need to add the term "helicopter kids" to that??
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