nutty
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 31, 2014 5:37:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,166
|
Post by nutty on Aug 12, 2015 12:12:08 GMT -5
Does anyone here that does online dating get peeved when the men call you baby, sexy, sweetie and all that crap. I don't really like it in real life I certainly don't like it from someone I don't know.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,246
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
Member is Online
|
Post by Opti on Aug 12, 2015 13:36:21 GMT -5
Do I show up just looking womanly, or easy? I vote easy. Which explains why I do not go to bars for hookups. I'm not that kind of easy.
FWIW, I'm checking through the library system for answers. Currently reading a book written by two male bartenders. They recommend against the 'easy' look unless you are OK with one stands and never hearing back from the guy.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,246
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
Member is Online
|
Post by Opti on Aug 12, 2015 13:43:46 GMT -5
just go,maybe want to dance or talk. Most guys would like to have a woman approach them. and most women would like a man to approach them. I'm talking to one on POF, one on Tinder, and one on text (we were supposed to hang out Sunday but he had to cancel last minute). Once these peter out, I'm done for a while. Time to focus on making some good girlfriends and getting my money and housing situation taken care of. People jerk each other around too much and I'm getting less and less tolerant of flakes. See, maybe its my tomboy self, but I'm actually more OK with approaching them. However, I'm trying to see if I can be patient enough for the other way - which seems like too much work. I'm pretty sure from human behavior stuff I've watched, I think it all starts with a woman smiling at a guy she might be interested in and goes from there.
MJ, that does sound like a good idea. I'm going to block out a 6 month plan for several men I know in RL and see if I can do this feminine wait for the guy thing. I'm going through stressful times so not so sure that going to a bar is a good idea for me, unless I go to watch a game like when I watched the Superbowl a year ago.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,246
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
Member is Online
|
Post by Opti on Aug 12, 2015 13:49:41 GMT -5
Does anyone here that does online dating get peeved when the men call you baby, sexy, sweetie and all that crap. I don't really like it in real life I certainly don't like it from someone I don't know. Do not have much experience with on line, but in RL I have had men call me sweetie. For certain male co-workers and friends I learned to be OK with it. For one, I think our working relationship also reminded him of his relationship with his wife, so sweetie just kept being part of how he talked to me. After we discussed the sweetie thing, I decided it was OK by me.
For men who are trying to be too familiar or too familiar for those you might like, I would just shut them down and say those words are reserved for men I go out with, or men I am dating seriously. (Whatever works, but be truthful.)
There are many male visitors and many male patients where I work. If I didn't care who I went out with, I could have been dating for years.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 19:18:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2015 15:50:02 GMT -5
Does anyone here that does online dating get peeved when the men call you baby, sexy, sweetie and all that crap. I don't really like it in real life I certainly don't like it from someone I don't know. I was eating at a restuarant and some of the servers there called me 'sweetie' or 'honey' and I kind of liked that, but they were in early 20's and attractive. I do not like when middle aged women who do not know me call me that.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,222
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 12, 2015 15:52:58 GMT -5
Does anyone here that does online dating get peeved when the men call you baby, sexy, sweetie and all that crap. I don't really like it in real life I certainly don't like it from someone I don't know. I was eating at a restuarant and some of the servers there called me 'sweetie' or 'honey' and I kind of liked that, but they were in early 20's and attractive. I do not like when middle aged women who do not know me call me that. Guess us old farts can just call you "hey you"
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,222
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 12, 2015 15:54:39 GMT -5
I vote easy. Which explains why I do not go to bars for hookups. I'm not that kind of easy.
FWIW, I'm checking through the library system for answers. Currently reading a book written by two male bartenders. They recommend against the 'easy' look unless you are OK with one stands and never hearing back from the guy.
Well, yeah
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 19:18:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2015 15:55:44 GMT -5
Does anyone here that does online dating get peeved when the men call you baby, sexy, sweetie and all that crap. I don't really like it in real life I certainly don't like it from someone I don't know. LOL I don't know if I am more amazed that it still happens or it happens often enough for someone to get sick of it. Some guys have no game.....
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Aug 12, 2015 16:00:26 GMT -5
I was waiting for the men to email me, now I just email them .. scale. That is what I started doing. I wasn't getting emails from anyone that interested me. So I emailed someone that did interest me. I would have emailed more, but been dating him since.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 19:18:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2015 16:02:46 GMT -5
My advice: - Don't lie about your age - Don't set unreasonable expectations as to what age woman you are looking for - Don't email much younger women that aren't looking for a man in your age group
The age thing just pissed me off when I was doing match. Men seemed to lie about their age. I went one date with a "40 year old" that I'm fairly certain was closer to 50 once I met him. Also too many chased after younger women. I was getting emails from 55 year olds when my profile said I was looking for a guy 30-40 years old (I'm 35). The guys emailing were wasting their time as well as mine. Then I saw a few that said the age range they were seeking was 18-their age. So like a 35 year old man was looking for a woman between 18-35. Any man in his 30's that isn't willing to date a woman a year or two older than him, but thinks it is ok to date an 18 year old isn't getting a response from me.
That is the "Dazed and Confused" mentality, I get older and they stay the same age- in my best Mathew Mcconaughey voice. I always preferred women 1-5 years older and rarely dated younger.
|
|
nutty
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 31, 2014 5:37:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,166
|
Post by nutty on Aug 12, 2015 17:46:41 GMT -5
I asked my GF about it and they said it was just flirting, they seemed to be ok with it and wondered why I wasn't. It just seems to familiar to me, when you don't know me. You don't have to say "Hey you" there are other greetings.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 12, 2015 17:56:38 GMT -5
Cute guys in a comic book store? That's an urban legend, fight?
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 12, 2015 17:57:22 GMT -5
Smh, why did my phone change "right" to "fight?"
|
|
beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
Posts: 2,184
|
Post by beergut on Aug 12, 2015 18:00:31 GMT -5
"Baby" is the pet name my GF and I use for each other.
If a waitress calls me "sweetie" or "honey", and she is younger than me, she is either flirting or bucking for a bigger tip, most likely both. If she is older than me, especially if she is old enough to be my mother, she is just being sweet, and she can call me whatever pet name she wants.
I only use 'baby' with other women if you are a female friend, I know you well, and I'm bastardizing Full Metal Jacket while talking to you, normally as a greeting. "Hey, baby, you got boyfriend Vietnam? Me rove you rong time. Me so horny, me so hawwny."
Such terms are terms of endearment, and shouldn't be used by someone who just met you, especially online.
I do have friends who call me "love" or "boo", but again, these are people who've known me a long time.
I once received a text message meant for a female friend's BF, where she called him "my love", as in, "What were calling for earlier, my love?" I wouldn't be able to handle that.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,222
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 12, 2015 18:01:52 GMT -5
Smh, why did my phone change "right" to "fight?" Maybe it was thinking you wanted to start a fight in a comic book store. One way to attract a guy.
|
|
beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
Posts: 2,184
|
Post by beergut on Aug 12, 2015 18:01:58 GMT -5
just go,maybe want to dance or talk. Most guys would like to have a woman approach them. and most women would like a man to approach them. I'm talking to one on POF, one on Tinder, and one on text (we were supposed to hang out Sunday but he had to cancel last minute). Once these peter out, I'm done for a while. Time to focus on making some good girlfriends and getting my money and housing situation taken care of. People jerk each other around too much and I'm getting less and less tolerant of flakes. *sends MJ a message, so she'll have more people to talk to*
|
|
beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
Posts: 2,184
|
Post by beergut on Aug 12, 2015 18:02:42 GMT -5
Smh, why did my phone change "right" to "fight?" Maybe it was thinking you wanted to start a fight in a comic book store. One way to attract a guy. Ooooooh, catfight
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,246
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
Member is Online
|
Post by Opti on Aug 12, 2015 18:05:21 GMT -5
Oh honey.. if you're at the library researching what to wear to pick up guys at the bar, don't bother. Seriously. It totally won't be your scene. You need to find a comic book store or something. Wear whatever you normally do, walk up to any cute guys you run into and ask them if they'd like to go have coffee. That's it. Done. What to wear? Where did you get that? Oh, probably the easy line earlier?
I'm trying to understand the male mind and how they think. I do not get how to make guys ask *me* out. Bars seem to be more about immediate gratification than the usual places I hang out. If I ask them for coffee, I have to pay. Since my budget involves being in the red without Dad assistance, I am unwilling to ask anyone out unless its a friend to hang out somewhere.
I have one at a Chocolate store that could be more cooperative, but I think like most men I like, they all play the long game. Don't go out unless you think the first few dates or more will work out with a 80%+ degree of certainty. Sigh. Comic book store really isn't my scene either, there are good brewpubs here and upscale places. They just aren't close by.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,246
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
Member is Online
|
Post by Opti on Aug 12, 2015 18:07:39 GMT -5
Maybe it was thinking you wanted to start a fight in a comic book store. One way to attract a guy. Ooooooh, catfight
Another problem. Too many men get stupid, too often.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 19:18:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 12, 2015 18:15:41 GMT -5
Most people dont want you to make them do anything.
|
|
cktc
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 19, 2013 22:15:31 GMT -5
Posts: 3,202
|
Post by cktc on Aug 12, 2015 18:26:19 GMT -5
Oh honey.. if you're at the library researching what to wear to pick up guys at the bar, don't bother. Seriously. It totally won't be your scene. You need to find a comic book store or something. Wear whatever you normally do, walk up to any cute guys you run into and ask them if they'd like to go have coffee. That's it. Done. What to wear? Where did you get that? Oh, probably the easy line earlier?
I'm trying to understand the male mind and how they think. I do not get how to make guys ask *me* out. Bars seem to be more about immediate gratification than the usual places I hang out. If I ask them for coffee, I have to pay. Since my budget involves being in the red without Dad assistance, I am unwilling to ask anyone out unless its a friend to hang out somewhere.
I have one at a Chocolate store that could be more cooperative, but I think like most men I like, they all play the long game. Don't go out unless you think the first few dates or more will work out with a 80%+ degree of certainty. Sigh. Comic book store really isn't my scene either, there are good brewpubs here and upscale places. They just aren't close by.
You could start a conversation or exchange numbers without asking someone out, but if you can't afford a cup of coffee in the foreseeable future, you should probably just put a pin in dating.
|
|
emma1420
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 28, 2011 15:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,430
|
Post by emma1420 on Aug 12, 2015 18:31:37 GMT -5
The usual. Be young, be skinny, be attractive. Men are pigs, we aren't that complicated. I don't know. One of my closest friends is about 300lbs, average looking, and hitting 40, and she dates more men than I've met. But, she's also vivacious and really outgoing. I just think some people have personalities that transcend looks.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 12, 2015 19:05:00 GMT -5
There are more cute nerds than people realize. Don't get me wrong you'll see captain sweatpants, plenty of neck beards, the guy that's somehow always covered in cat hair, etc, but there are some legitimately hot guys that are into nerd stuff. I've seen the hot nerd - many times. But his home base is not the comic book store.
|
|
beergut
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 13:58:39 GMT -5
Posts: 2,184
|
Post by beergut on Aug 12, 2015 19:10:08 GMT -5
Ooooooh, catfight
Another problem. Too many men get stupid, too often.
I think I've located one of your problems: lack of a sense of humor. That is a Seinfeld allusion above.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,222
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 12, 2015 19:52:00 GMT -5
The usual. Be young, be skinny, be attractive. Men are pigs, we aren't that complicated.Men. Are. Easy. ETA: @southernsusana said- That old saying hungry people make lousy shoppers comes to mind.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 12, 2015 20:47:09 GMT -5
All the attractive nerds I know play Magic. They're YM approved too, since Magic players tend to have fairly high paying jobs. Lots of IT guys, finance types, and the like. I saw almost an entire convention floor playing various card games and DND type stuff... "cute" is not a word I would have used to describe that crowd.
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Aug 12, 2015 20:55:51 GMT -5
...I would post pictures of my attractive nerd friends if it weren't a privacy violation. One of them has run games at conventions. My husband is definitely my idea of an attractive nerd: when I met him, one of the first things I said to a mutual friend was "A mesomorph with degrees in math and computer science?" (I obviously belong in a comic book store, not a bar.)
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Aug 13, 2015 14:49:15 GMT -5
I always thought Charlie on Numbers was hawt!!
|
|