Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 19, 2015 23:03:02 GMT -5
Have you noticed a difference as you've aged in how you're treated?
My mother says that as she's gotten older, people kind of start talking to you like a kid again, using terms like "sweetie" and "hon." Has anyone else noticed this? I'm sure there are other ways in which influence how we interact with others.
How has getting older caused others to treat you differently?
|
|
msventoux
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2011 22:32:37 GMT -5
Posts: 3,037
|
Post by msventoux on Apr 19, 2015 23:09:19 GMT -5
I haven't hit 40 yet, so I'm not sure that I'm really treated any differently in that regard than I was when I was in my twenties. Except people assuming I'm married and have kids.
In my experience the annoying people who refer to others as "sweetie" and "hon" don't discriminate based on age. They call everyone that regardless of age.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,884
|
Post by NastyWoman on Apr 20, 2015 0:10:33 GMT -5
Women of a certain age become invisible in society. However, I have not yet reached the "sweetie" or "hon" stage of life or maybe they are just afraid of me.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 1:26:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2015 5:44:20 GMT -5
I get a lot more doors held open for me. That's about it.
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Apr 20, 2015 5:54:54 GMT -5
Women of a certain age become invisible in society. However, I have not yet reached the "sweetie" or "hon" stage of life or maybe they are just afraid of me. LOL! I'm the same, Tulips. I'm much more likely to be the one to use the "hon". I tend to call everybody "hon". It's not meant to be demeaning, though. Just a sort of habit I picked up while nursing here in the south. These folks like a little "down home" with their daily doses of pills. I don't notice I'm treated differently, really. The cat-calls have stopped, thankfully ... unless they can't see my grey hair and are behind me. Other than that, I don't really notice a difference. I don't give off a "little old lady" vibe, I guess.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 6:20:58 GMT -5
I think there is a difference depending on what decade you are in. The 20somethings really don't want to hear anything that older people have to say for instance. Although, I think that is just normal and how it has always been, lol.
|
|
Blonde Granny
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 15, 2013 8:27:13 GMT -5
Posts: 6,919
Today's Mood: Alone in the world
Location: Wandering Aimlessly
Mini-Profile Name Color: 28e619
Mini-Profile Text Color: 3a9900
|
Post by Blonde Granny on Apr 20, 2015 6:24:18 GMT -5
I'm with Susana, about all I've noticed is that people tend to open the door for me more than before. My DH has mobility issues and we're usually together, so maybe it's him that is being noticed.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,153
|
Post by giramomma on Apr 20, 2015 6:44:11 GMT -5
I think there is a difference depending on what decade you are in.
This, probably. When I was in my late 20s and early 30's I did not embrace being called ma'am. At 40, I'm getting close to acceptance that I'm not a "miss" anymore. I think I'll be OK with ma'am when I'm 50... I do tip really generously for those who call me "miss." I call it positive reinforcement. Otherwise, no one really treats me all that differently. My parents still think they can parent me like I'm 10. That hasn't changed for 30 years. Not suspecting it will ever change. I have a little more respect at work, but that's because it's clear that in a few things, I've got the most experience out of all of us at my position. But, I've always been fairly respected at work. With everyone else that's like our parents generation, I think the relationships have moved from mentor type relationship to just friends.
|
|
moneymaven
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 10:05:04 GMT -5
Posts: 1,864
|
Post by moneymaven on Apr 20, 2015 6:58:04 GMT -5
I've been successful in the workplace since my early 20's and my youth showed in my looks (not maturity) and I was often not taken seriously by older people in the workplace.
Now that I'm older, that's much different and it makes my life a lot easier, though I occasionally find myself in the mindset of still proving myself to others (my issue, not theirs).
I can't explain why, but I really hate being called "hon" or "sweetie" by people younger than me.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 7:02:01 GMT -5
I don't think anyone is treating anyone anyway because everyone now has their nose stuck on their smartphone!
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 20, 2015 7:11:44 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!!
|
|
mroped
Senior Member
Joined: Nov 17, 2014 17:36:56 GMT -5
Posts: 3,453
|
Post by mroped on Apr 20, 2015 8:18:20 GMT -5
Not much of a difference except that now, once in a while I have to ask people if they are talking to me when out of the blue they call me "sir" "are you talking to me?" -too bad I can't do a DeNiro!
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,692
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 20, 2015 8:35:58 GMT -5
More people telling me how wonderful I look (while silently adding those three little words "for your age.")
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,544
|
Post by Tennesseer on Apr 20, 2015 8:42:44 GMT -5
PetSmart asks me if I need help getting my purchases out to my SUV.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 8:47:02 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! I don't get why that is bothersome. If you are OLD, embrace it! And, to a 20something, that is probably the case! lol
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 1:26:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2015 8:52:11 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! That's funny to a Southerner. Saying "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir" is so ingrained in our culture that I say it automatically to my students. It really has zero to do with age for us and everything to do with being polite.
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,544
|
Post by Tennesseer on Apr 20, 2015 8:54:59 GMT -5
Out of curiosity, is there some invisible age cutoff point where you address an unknown woman as 'Ma'am' versus 'Miss'?
'
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 1:26:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2015 9:00:19 GMT -5
Out of curiosity, is there some invisible age cutoff point where you address an unknown woman as 'Ma'am' versus 'Miss'? ' I thought you just used "Miss" to get someone's attention. I didn't know it was an age thing. Do you guys go "Oh, ma'am!" to do that. That sounds funny to me.
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 20, 2015 9:08:49 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! I don't get why that is bothersome. If you are OLD, embrace it! And, to a 20something, that is probably the case! lol so anything over 29 is old? I am 32 - that is not "Ma'am" age!
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 20, 2015 9:09:50 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! That's funny to a Southerner. Saying "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir" is so ingrained in our culture that I say it automatically to my students. It really has zero to do with age for us and everything to do with being polite. in the northeast it seems to be correlated with perceived age.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 9:09:58 GMT -5
I don't get why that is bothersome. If you are OLD, embrace it! And, to a 20something, that is probably the case! lol so anything over 29 is old? I am 32 - that is not "Ma'am" age! So what? When I was in college I remember thinking that Grad Students looked soooo old and hoping I would still be in college "at that age" when really they were probably in their mid 20's! lol
|
|
MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
|
Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 20, 2015 9:11:14 GMT -5
"So"? I don't like it! That's my opinion and I'll say it if I feel like it!
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 9:12:18 GMT -5
"So"? I don't like it! That's my opinion and I'll say it if I feel like it! Ok.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Apr 20, 2015 9:17:07 GMT -5
I'm in my upper 40's and am now old enough to be the mother to some of my staff. When we're doing stuff like packing and shipping boxes to storage they're quick to make sure I don't do any heavy lifting etc.
Hell, I'm not that freaking old! When I told them that, I was informed it was an issue of respect.
Hummph. I'm not old enough for that yet dammit!
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,544
|
Post by Tennesseer on Apr 20, 2015 9:19:15 GMT -5
Out of curiosity, is there some invisible age cutoff point where you address an unknown woman as 'Ma'am' versus 'Miss'? ' I thought you just used "Miss" to get someone's attention. I didn't know it was an age thing. Do you guys go "Oh, ma'am!" to do that. That sounds funny to me. Me personally, if I need to get someone's attention, and who I figure might be around my age (63), it almost seems disrespectful to call her 'Miss'. 'Miss' I associate with someone young in years, as in Miss Teen America or Miss America. That is just me though.
|
|
|
Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Apr 20, 2015 10:42:16 GMT -5
At 35, I have noticed that I am treated with a lot more respect in most situations. Even in my mid-20s, I would still get that condescending "Oh how cute, she's trying to do adult things like buy a car or sign a lease" type of treatment. I bought a used car at the age of 25, and when I went to the DMV to transfer the title, the guy at the desk asked me if my parents bought it for me. He seemed really shocked that I picked it out and paid for it myself. I have also noticed that I have a much easier time just going about my business in peace. A younger friend of mine was telling me about an experience she had at a coffee shop where she was hoping to just relax and read her book, but she ended up just leaving because some guy would not leave her alone. That hasn't happened to me in years.
|
|
teen persuasion
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:49 GMT -5
Posts: 4,162
|
Post by teen persuasion on Apr 20, 2015 10:44:45 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Apr 20, 2015 10:47:11 GMT -5
When DD came back from OCS, she was full of ma'am and sir. Still being in the south, she says it still. I like it. Up north it's an age thing, I don't like it that at all.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Apr 20, 2015 11:01:06 GMT -5
I get more annoyed when young people or sales people call me by my first name. If I don't know you, don't do it. I know they're forced to by their employers, the fake friendliness, but I find it rude.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Apr 20, 2015 11:10:24 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS. Carry on.
|
|