andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 11:32:31 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS. I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 11:38:45 GMT -5
I get more annoyed when young people or sales people call me by my first name. If I don't know you, don't do it. I know they're forced to by their employers, the fake friendliness, but I find it rude. I say Miss before the name. I had an underwriter from Louisiana and she would always call me Miss Andi and I called her Miss Betty. People don't seem to mind. Well, except for Thing 2. When she's in trouble she gets "Don't get beat up Miss Isabel". So she doesn't like it when anyone calls her that.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Apr 20, 2015 11:39:13 GMT -5
I'm in my upper 40's and am now old enough to be the mother to some of my staff. When we're doing stuff like packing and shipping boxes to storage they're quick to make sure I don't do any heavy lifting etc. Hell, I'm not that freaking old! When I told them that, I was informed it was an issue of respect. Hummph. I'm not old enough for that yet dammit! I was at a gig my dad and son were playing Saturday night. They were loading up some of Dad's sound equipment. I'm 40, Dad is 68. He was almost offended that I picked up one of the speakers to bring closer to the door. Took it from me like I might break. I could be offended, but why bother. I assume I'll always be seen as his little girl. DS figured it was because he was scared I was actually going to try to put it in the car and didn't know the proper technique to get it in there without breaking a window. Either way, I got out of the heavy lifting.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Apr 20, 2015 11:48:16 GMT -5
Oh, I get the "you're just a baby" from older people when my age comes up (generally b/c they don't believe I have kids that old) or "you are?!" from people who don't believe it because of the baby face. I got that Saturday night from one of the musicians as well. Told him I've spent years OUT of the sun to look so young. So........basically, I'll let you know if I get any different treatment when I start looking old enough to get some.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Apr 20, 2015 12:05:29 GMT -5
Well, the only people who call me "sweetie" and "hon" are my 'teacher friends' when they slip into work mode. It's mildly annoying cause I'm not really sure if they are just on "auto pilot" or if they are being snarky. I've seen them do it with other adults (usually someone in retail) and I see the pained smile from the person being addressed as "hon" or "sweetie". That said, I'm 51, and I've noticed I've pretty much gone invisible. I don't seem to matter to marketers or to sales associates in stores. It's annoying. Someday, you may see a viral internet story about a woman who, in an attempt to become visible in order to get some help, starting taking off her clothes in the middle of the store. The police report will say something like "the crazy woman wandered around naked for nearly 30 minutes before anyone noticed" To be honest, I've had it suggested that instead of getting naked I should just start removing products from the shelves/hangers whatever and neatly stacking it all up in an aisle - that would probably attract some attention. The other thing I've noticed is that when I DO attract attention it's assumed I'm helpless and don't speak English. I'm not sure when being patronizing started to be considered "being polite". For the most part - the internet has solved most of those problems since I can accomplish much of my 'daily life' stuff without having to deal with another human.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Apr 20, 2015 12:09:40 GMT -5
As for a new 'social/cultural' thing - I find it weird that people I barely know - like say a store clerk - wants to be my New Best Friend... I don't WANT to have a 'best friend relationship' with a corporation/store/person working at said store. That really annoys me. I seem to be the only person who finds the insincerity of this "10 minute New Best Friend" relationship to be disquieting. What ever happened to just being polite and helpful?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 12:16:23 GMT -5
Whenever anyone asks me if I have kids and what ages, I always get "You don't look old enough to have kids that old" to which I reply "I'm not". But I guess I really am since I gave birth to them.
I also get random people that will ask me if I speak English. I hate that.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 20, 2015 12:38:09 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS. I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time. Tell a six-year-old how old you are and his response will probably be, "Boy are you old!"
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Apr 20, 2015 12:57:54 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS. I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time. Ive been getting AARP invites for years...since I was in my 30s. DH is 8 years older than me, so I guess that is why. They seem to start recruiting early...neither of us is a member.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Apr 20, 2015 12:59:29 GMT -5
I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time. Tell a six-year-old how old you are and his response will probably be, "Boy are you old!" I said that to my mother when she was 42. She likes to remind me of that now that Im 47. I tell her I have no idea what she is talking about.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Apr 20, 2015 13:01:18 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS. I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time. Hanging out on the MMM board, where they are all trying to RE by 30, I was wondering if AARP might have to change its rules. Then again, not sure what their rules actually are - is it about age, or actually being retired as the name implies. DH kept getting mail about Medicare sign up. It must have been intended for his father, but we can't figure out why we got it - names are different, and FIL never lived at our address, or even in our county.
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garion2003
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Post by garion2003 on Apr 20, 2015 13:11:14 GMT -5
I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time. Tell a six-year-old how old you are and his response will probably be, "Boy are you old!" It works with teenagers too. Well, at least those with *ahem* no manners!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 13:17:06 GMT -5
I think a lot of it is generational. 20 and 30 somethings are going to tend interact more with their own generation than the 60+ crowd. Doesn't mean their isn't interaction but it is in a different way. People who are generationally related share have that peer to peer bond. Whereas older people look more like the authority figures to them and younger people maybe they do take a seriously. So, I think that is pretty much across the board.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 13:30:18 GMT -5
My friend and I were talking one day and she says "Remember when we thought 30 was old? " Now we're over 30!
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Apr 20, 2015 14:13:52 GMT -5
Apparently I've crossed some invisible age threshold - I got a "Blair" catalog a few days ago. Addressed to me, not just "resident". I'd love to know who sold my info to them, and why they seem to think I'd ever be interested in their clothes. Age is the only criteria that seems even remotely (!) valid here, it is certainly not size or style. Their clothes seem to be geared towards (not so) little old ladies, but the models are all young and average sized. Honestly, I shop in the Juniors section most of the time, since that is the only place I can seem to find size 0 or XS. I got an invite to join AARP in the mail. Pissed me right on off because I was in my early 30s at the time. Wrong response andi: now if someone sees you toss a AARP and makes a snarky comment, you can honestly say "yea, who knew they start sending you these things while you are (barely) in your 30's"
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Apr 20, 2015 14:45:35 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! I'll take Ma'am over " yo, bitch" any day.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 14:50:46 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! I'll take Ma'am over " yo, bitch" any day. I'm the opposite.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Apr 20, 2015 14:52:53 GMT -5
I have seen it for decades. I remember when I was a manager and another manager asked my age then told me I was older than his mother, I was about 40. People treat you much better as you age to a point. I remember being a teen and a store clerk wanted to wait on me before a younger child who was there first, I said "he was here first" but the clerk was obviously thinking the older person was more important. When workers are under 20 everyone treats them like they don't know much and until 25 are still not considered experts or management material beyond retail and fast food or software. We all expect someone over 25 to understand basic things like not taking personal phone calls at work or call in sick too often so if you have someone 40 acting like they are 18 and first job we judge them more harshly. When I was over 40 and looking for work people assumed I didn't know anything about computers and seemed shocked when I said I did software support. When I was 49 everyone was saying people over 50 don't know anything about computers. Even now people seem surprised when someone over 70 knows anything about computers when they may have been using them 40 years. I started being treated as handicapped after about 55. I was offered a seat on the bus a couple of times and my boss would offer to do heavy lifting for me and over 60 rather insisted on not having me lift heavy things. I get more offers to help me out with my purchases at hardware stores and I take the help now.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 20, 2015 14:53:50 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! I'll take Ma'am over " yo, bitch" any day. can't say that I've ever been addressed in that fashion....
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 14:59:26 GMT -5
The kids' friends try to call me Ms. ______ when they meet me the first time. Then I tell them that my mom is Ms. ______ and they may address me as Andi or mom and that I have no preference. I become mom pretty quick after that. I've got countless kids now!
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Apr 20, 2015 15:13:14 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! Heh... I was in my mid 20's and was sent to help out an office/site getting started. I was putting together the layout for their warehouse, getting the computers set up all of that stuff. What I didn't count on was they had staffed the warehouse with just out of the service veterans, all Marines. I was ma'am'd to death that week. I finally gave up correcting them and asking them to call me by my first name. There was also a few moment's of a quick chase to pick up whatever box or computer I was after before one of them would swoop in and grab it for me before I got the chance. After that week, I said screw it, someone wants to call me ma'am, have at it. You had a whole week of working with just out of service Marines flexing their muscles on your behaf?!? I'm sorry, but I really, really hate you at this moment.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 20, 2015 15:15:06 GMT -5
Heh... I was in my mid 20's and was sent to help out an office/site getting started. I was putting together the layout for their warehouse, getting the computers set up all of that stuff. What I didn't count on was they had staffed the warehouse with just out of the service veterans, all Marines. I was ma'am'd to death that week. I finally gave up correcting them and asking them to call me by my first name. There was also a few moment's of a quick chase to pick up whatever box or computer I was after before one of them would swoop in and grab it for me before I got the chance. After that week, I said screw it, someone wants to call me ma'am, have at it. I wish more folks would realize what AWESOME workmates the average veteran is...
I work with one, he's an army reserve officer and is consistently one of those guys who's easy to work with, knows his area very thoroughly, and is willing to chip in to help the team succeed, even if it's a bit out of scope for him. I wish he was all of my coworkers
I'll take two then. One for the office and one for the house. Please and thank you.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Apr 20, 2015 15:18:37 GMT -5
You had a whole week of working with just out of service Marines flexing their muscles on your behaf?!? I'm sorry, but I really, really hate you at this moment. They still had the high and tights too! Ok, now I have to unfriend you.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Apr 20, 2015 15:58:16 GMT -5
PetSmart asks me if I need help getting my purchases out to my SUV. which is fine if it's 50lbs of dog food. less fine if it's a sweater for your hamster I tell PetSmart to get back to me in 16 years when I am eighty.
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garion2003
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Post by garion2003 on Apr 20, 2015 16:04:19 GMT -5
I hate being called "ma'am"!!!!!! Heh... I was in my mid 20's and was sent to help out an office/site getting started. I was putting together the layout for their warehouse, getting the computers set up all of that stuff. What I didn't count on was they had staffed the warehouse with just out of the service veterans, all Marines. I was ma'am'd to death that week. I finally gave up correcting them and asking them to call me by my first name. There was also a few moment's of a quick chase to pick up whatever box or computer I was after before one of them would swoop in and grab it for me before I got the chance. After that week, I said screw it, someone wants to call me ma'am, have at it. I was once on a search committee (in academia, looking for a professional staff position). The committee was chaired by this great professor of nursing, she was a good chair and firm, but funny. Several of the candidates were from the military and they about "Ma'am'd" her to death! It got to the point where some of us (ahem..me..and a few others) had to stifle some snickers during the phone interviews. But, those boys were sure polite! We called the chair "Ma'am" for the next month!
The only drawback for one military guy was his succinct response - I'm sure very proper for the military but not so much when trying to job interview:
Committee member: I see you have experience in working with software Program X...
Candidate: "Yes, ma'am".. *silence*
We tried to draw him out and tell us more about how he used X, what he thought of X, how he could demonstrate his use of X would translate well into academia. no luck!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 20, 2015 16:31:36 GMT -5
haven't read the thread yet, but OMG I HATE HATE HATE!!! when strangers use the word "hon"
Even on here, some posters refer to each other as "hon" - for some reason it just irks me to no end!
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Apr 20, 2015 16:34:25 GMT -5
"So"? I don't like it! That's my opinion and I'll say it if I feel like it! Yes ma'am. OK ma'am. It won't happen again ma'am. Two things I've noticed since I've gotten older (turning 55 next month). Women seem to like me much more now. I get way more invitations than I did when I was younger and have more female friends. I'm not invisible while out in public - yet - but I've noticed I'm not remembered like I used to be. I need to start doing tackier things while out in public!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 20, 2015 16:36:10 GMT -5
Also, I don't know why people, well, especially women, are so worried when someone treating them as "older".
For me, it comes under one of those "why do you care so much how people see you" thing.
Lord knows, some women are ready to shoot you if you ask their age or weight.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 20, 2015 16:39:32 GMT -5
I don't know. Why do you want to be presumed younger or older than you are either way? Your age is your age. Doesn't it make sense to look damn good and say, yup, I am 60 rather than pretend to be another age or something? I kind of don't get it.
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Apr 20, 2015 16:44:48 GMT -5
haven't read the thread yet, but OMG I HATE HATE HATE!!! when strangers use the word "hon"
Even on here, some posters refer to each other as "hon" - for some reason it just irks me to no end!
Sorry that bothers you so much, sweetie.
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