MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 27, 2015 9:43:17 GMT -5
I have now had it happen twice in a row where I'll go out with someone and it goes EXTREMELY well. Lots of chemistry and both of us verbally and non verbally indicate that we'd like to see each other again. And then I never hear from them again. What is that about? Why would someone do that? Only things I can think of is a problem with their cell, medical/family emergency, or they just died. I understand if it was a so-so or bad date, but why completely duck me if you are enthusiastically asking when can we do it again? I just don't get it.
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kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Mar 27, 2015 9:47:31 GMT -5
Hey, I always thought someone from here would grab Phoenix! Agreed! He seems like a really nice, normal guy. If I were looking for a husband (I'm not - have one already ) he's the kind of guy I think I'd go after. I sooooooooo got over players and party boys a long time ago . . .
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 27, 2015 10:08:27 GMT -5
I have now had it happen twice in a row where I'll go out with someone and it goes EXTREMELY well. Lots of chemistry and both of us verbally and non verbally indicate that we'd like to see each other again. And then I never hear from them again. What is that about? Why would someone do that? Only things I can think of is a problem with their cell, medical/family emergency, or they just died. I understand if it was a so-so or bad date, but why completely duck me if you are enthusiastically asking when can we do it again? I just don't get it. If I think about it the guy that stood me up befuddles me since he decided he didn't want to wait until our next planned date and took off work early to see me. Then stood me up and never responded to my text about if he was still going to the game with me! I'm pretty good about not doing that now because guys do stupid things for no reason.
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milee
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Post by milee on Mar 27, 2015 10:15:29 GMT -5
I have now had it happen twice in a row where I'll go out with someone and it goes EXTREMELY well. Lots of chemistry and both of us verbally and non verbally indicate that we'd like to see each other again. And then I never hear from them again. What is that about? Why would someone do that? Only things I can think of is a problem with their cell, medical/family emergency, or they just died. I understand if it was a so-so or bad date, but why completely duck me if you are enthusiastically asking when can we do it again? I just don't get it. If I think about it the guy that stood me up befuddles me since he decided he didn't want to wait until our next planned date and took off work early to see me. Then stood me up and never responded to my text about if he was still going to the game with me! I'm pretty good about not doing that now because guys do stupid things for no reason. IMHO, about 99% of this is because of them - not you. Seriously. This is one of the few situations where not only does it really say more about them than you but it's absolutely a BLESSING that you found out they're flaky now rather than later.
I don't get it at all, but there's a chunk of the population that's just plain flaky. They may really like you and been having an awesome time, they just can't get their shit together enough to be reliable, so they stumble from encounter to encounter. Because they can't really be in a relationship unless the girl is desperate and willing to accept this crap, most of these people are unattached and so unfortunately, they represent a sizeable chunk of the "available to date" pool.
It's good you find out early on that this is not a person to be trusted or relied on and frankly, not worth your time.
Think about it - even if you decided you weren't into someone or that you couldn't see a future or even that you just disliked them, would you ever treat someone like this? No. Because you have basic manners and decency. These guys don't, so it's good that you find that out now and don't waste any more time with them.
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Lizard Queen
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103/2024
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 27, 2015 10:20:22 GMT -5
I have now had it happen twice in a row where I'll go out with someone and it goes EXTREMELY well. Lots of chemistry and both of us verbally and non verbally indicate that we'd like to see each other again. And then I never hear from them again. What is that about? Why would someone do that? Only things I can think of is a problem with their cell, medical/family emergency, or they just died. I understand if it was a so-so or bad date, but why completely duck me if you are enthusiastically asking when can we do it again? I just don't get it. If I think about it the guy that stood me up befuddles me since he decided he didn't want to wait until our next planned date and took off work early to see me. Then stood me up and never responded to my text about if he was still going to the game with me! I'm pretty good about not doing that now because guys do stupid things for no reason. That's the kind of thing that drove me nuts back when I was dating. I reconnected with an old acquaintance online, and he stood me up when we were supposed to meet. He called me again almost a year later, at work, when I was seeing someone else. I told him to call me at home, which he never did. I was not about to discuss anything with him at the office, in my cubicle where everyone else could hear. There was another guy who called me again after a span of months. Like, WTF?? Anyway, the way I see it, if he's not going to extend you a little common courtesy while dating, you're better off without him.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 27, 2015 10:24:16 GMT -5
Yup. I may have WAY less dates and often go a long time without one, but I don't get caught up in as much crappy dating situations.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 27, 2015 15:17:15 GMT -5
Yeah, it does kind of suck. Sort of like GEL talked about, I met my DH when I was finally okay with being alone. It was a slippery slope though, in that I started to prefer being alone. Glad DH was persistent! As far as the "socially retarded" comment is concerned, I have to think about that. That's some pretty loaded language for someone who isn't in a hurry to settle down before 30. lol.....I totally hear you here. I am actually having a roommate in my new place, if for no other reason than to prevent me from sliding further down that slope! I lived alone for the prior 9 years, between the condo and an apt before that. this roommate is one of my best friends, and he's moving in the last of his stuff from his old place this weekend. here's hoping we don't kill each other while we're living under the same roof! Just have to give you the anecdotal warning: I have a really good guy friend who lived with his best friend (a girl) for a couple of years. Then they moved out of that and he bought a house and she moved in with someone else. Never dated, never wanted to date, dated other people, all that good stuff. So this all happened about 8 years ago. They got married this past summer. Oh, and they have a chocolate lab!
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Mar 27, 2015 15:52:18 GMT -5
Carolinakat, which they got married? Guy friend and best friend or the best friend with the person she moved in with?
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 27, 2015 15:57:42 GMT -5
Carolinakat, which they got married? Guy friend and best friend or the best friend with the person she moved in with? Guy friend and best friend. She went through a series of roomies after him, he lived solo in his house, and they both had active dating lives. The best I can get it from them, one day they just decided that they liked being with each other better than being with anyone else. It might not be the most 'romantic' love story, but it's theirs and they're a wonderful couple.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2015 16:06:51 GMT -5
Where is a good place to meet middle aged women? I already told you - SW Florida. Sheesh, you go rogue for a couple of years and forgot all those good tips we gave you?
Edited to add: Although lately 90% of the single middle aged single women I know/interact with have been of the cray cray variety. We're not sure if it's something in the water or a phase, but I haven't been setting up any of my middle aged single male friends for the past year or so because I can't in good conscience set them up with any of the female nut jobs.
I am saving Florida for when you are single Middle aged crazy sounds good to me.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Mar 28, 2015 12:09:16 GMT -5
lol.....I totally hear you here. I am actually having a roommate in my new place, if for no other reason than to prevent me from sliding further down that slope! I lived alone for the prior 9 years, between the condo and an apt before that. this roommate is one of my best friends, and he's moving in the last of his stuff from his old place this weekend. here's hoping we don't kill each other while we're living under the same roof! Just have to give you the anecdotal warning: I have a really good guy friend who lived with his best friend (a girl) for a couple of years. Then they moved out of that and he bought a house and she moved in with someone else. Never dated, never wanted to date, dated other people, all that good stuff. So this all happened about 8 years ago. They got married this past summer. Oh, and they have a chocolate lab! haha, fair enough. you aren't the first to tell me this, or raise an eyebrow when I mention that he is moving in. mutual friends especially, who already just assume we are lying to them completely. like I said, as long as we don't kill each other, I'll call it a win.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 28, 2015 17:33:56 GMT -5
Just have to give you the anecdotal warning: I have a really good guy friend who lived with his best friend (a girl) for a couple of years. Then they moved out of that and he bought a house and she moved in with someone else. Never dated, never wanted to date, dated other people, all that good stuff. So this all happened about 8 years ago. They got married this past summer. Oh, and they have a chocolate lab! haha, fair enough. you aren't the first to tell me this, or raise an eyebrow when I mention that he is moving in. mutual friends especially, who already just assume we are lying to them completely. like I said, as long as we don't kill each other, I'll call it a win. And if you happen to like each other's hoo-hahs, that's also a win-win - just saying
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Apr 2, 2015 14:04:55 GMT -5
Oh my good god in heaven - went on my first date from an online source on Monday night - please let that never happen again! Can you say dreadful - couldn't wait until it was over. Makes me miss the good but inconsiderate guy even more.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 2, 2015 15:43:11 GMT -5
I refuse to do internet dating. I am a creep magnet on my own. I don't need the number of creeps I go out with to multiply exponentially.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Apr 2, 2015 15:53:25 GMT -5
Just have to give you the anecdotal warning: I have a really good guy friend who lived with his best friend (a girl) for a couple of years. Then they moved out of that and he bought a house and she moved in with someone else. Never dated, never wanted to date, dated other people, all that good stuff. So this all happened about 8 years ago. They got married this past summer. Oh, and they have a chocolate lab! haha, fair enough. you aren't the first to tell me this, or raise an eyebrow when I mention that he is moving in. mutual friends especially, who already just assume we are lying to them completely. like I said, as long as we don't kill each other, I'll call it a win. I have a friend who moved in with a guy she knew from work. They had a running joke that if neither had a serious relationship by the time they were 35 they would marry each other. They got married well before that.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 2, 2015 17:16:46 GMT -5
I have now had it happen twice in a row where I'll go out with someone and it goes EXTREMELY well. Lots of chemistry and both of us verbally and non verbally indicate that we'd like to see each other again. And then I never hear from them again. What is that about? Why would someone do that? Only things I can think of is a problem with their cell, medical/family emergency, or they just died. I understand if it was a so-so or bad date, but why completely duck me if you are enthusiastically asking when can we do it again? I just don't get it. maybe that's the problem? Maybe what's the problem? I don't understand.
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Apr 2, 2015 17:43:47 GMT -5
I don't think I'm over thinking it. I just don't seem to move in the same circles as single guys do. When you meet the right one, everything just clicks and falls into place naturally. If you have to try too hard, he's not right for you.
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Apr 2, 2015 18:10:16 GMT -5
maybe that's the problem? Maybe what's the problem? I don't understand. She's saying you did "it" too soon. She's kidding around.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 2, 2015 18:34:56 GMT -5
Oh! Lol... Cuz I DEFINITELY don't do it on the first date!
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Apr 3, 2015 2:47:36 GMT -5
Oh! Lol... Cuz I DEFINITELY don't do it on the first date! Okay, so I've been watching SOA for the last few days. Your dates disappeared for the following reasons: -nabbed and put in prison by ATF in hopes of making friends think they are a rat -nabbed and put in prison by DEA in hopes of building RICO case -kidnapped by crazed 'retired' U.S. Marshal -one bit off his tongue to keep his silence from the feds I think you might want to rethink your attraction to the 'bad boys'.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Apr 3, 2015 8:21:38 GMT -5
I refuse to do internet dating. I am a creep magnet on my own. I don't need the number of creeps I go out with to multiply exponentially. I met DH through internet dating. He's way too shy to have ever approached me in any other way.
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Apr 3, 2015 8:38:20 GMT -5
Having a graduate degree and being older is the kiss of death for relationships. I don't think the right kind of men (for me) want women who are as smart as they are. The men tend to want to date "down."
So MJ2.0, did I read somewhere on this board that you are considering graduate school? Don't do it if you want to succeed in a relationship.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 3, 2015 8:48:29 GMT -5
Alright, so somehow be younger and don't better myself - got it.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 3, 2015 8:54:25 GMT -5
Though one dating site sent out an email about likes by education. My grad degree got the least percent of likes. Not sure why they sent it to me?
On most profiles I just list the school I went to since I sent there for grad and undergrad, but I don't deflect when asked.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 3, 2015 9:01:19 GMT -5
I'm now heavily considering a 2nd Bachelor's degree instead - is that better?
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 3, 2015 9:02:59 GMT -5
I dunno. Do they go by degree letters or number of years in school?
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Apr 3, 2015 9:05:46 GMT -5
Though one dating site sent out an email about likes by education. My grad degree got the least percent of likes. Not sure why they sent it to me? On most profiles I just list the school I went to since I sent there for grad and undergrad, but I don't deflect when asked. I never mentioned my work/education on dating sites. Didn't really figure that was anyone's business unless we had more than one date.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 3, 2015 9:22:35 GMT -5
I refuse to do internet dating. I am a creep magnet on my own. I don't need the number of creeps I go out with to multiply exponentially. I met DH through internet dating. He's way too shy to have ever approached me in any other way. I'm glad that you were able to meet a keeper this way. I don't judge those that do internet dating or think there is anything wrong with it. I just have a cloud of crazy that follows me. I'll end up on the news or an episode of Cops or something.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Apr 3, 2015 10:23:36 GMT -5
I had a few friends find their spouses via various sites. I tried it myself awhile back, too. ended up meeting some cool people, a couple of whom are actually still friends even though we didn't "click" as a couple, and then there were some really strange ones.... where I'm at now is that I'm comfortable in my own skin - which I wasn't back when I was trying the online thing - and I'm comfortable being by myself. if I happen to meet someone who interests me enough to continue things, I'll pursue it. if not, I've got plenty of things to do to occupy my time. if nothing else, the lack of "eau de desperation" might actually help my cause.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Apr 3, 2015 10:35:11 GMT -5
One of my coworkers briefly dated a guy who had major issues with her job. Better to find out upfront. Now I know some people try to flaunt degrees and put people down but this girl is nothing like that. And frankly I don't think GS-13 has you rolling in dough in the DC/Baltimore area. Comfortable sure, rich no.
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