Green Eyed Lady
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Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Mar 24, 2015 16:22:27 GMT -5
That was a nice thing to say. Thank you. And it's true...last time I was looking. But I get it (I didn't read the entire thread, so forgive me)...people can get discouraged. Look, I'm one of those slightly hopeless romantics, who believes there is some lasting love for everyone. I am a sucker for the underdog...I want all people to be happy, in their own way and in their own time. I think I remember your green eyes...I have green eyes too. Be well. I, too, am a hopeless romantic....for other people! I do believe in everlasting love. Just not right now. Your post was refreshing because it seems that so often we are so hard on the opposite sex. Women are yelling that men just want a roll in the hay. Men are yelling that women just want their money. I know there are people out there like that, but I don't think they are anywhere close to being in the majority. I've met some really really special men. It's just not something I'm ready for now. That's on me and no fault of theirs. You be well also.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Mar 24, 2015 16:26:15 GMT -5
... I think dating as you get older gets more challenging. Often there is a reason (or a whole bunch of reasons) why the single folks in your age group have remained single. ...
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Mar 24, 2015 16:26:29 GMT -5
I've been happily married for many more years than I wasn't married (I'm an old broad of 55) so I don't think I really qualify to give dating advice. I actually dated in the stone ages pre cell phones, if you can believe that. However, I have two GF who are both mid forties, who were both on multiple dating websites and went out on many first dates, but never had them turn into much more than a brief fling. Both of them fixated on what they wanted the men they dated to look like, and wouldn't consider dating anyone who didn't meet their idea of 'handsome.' There was one guy who was extremely smart, with a great sense of humor, and I thought he would have been a great match for one of my friends, but she rejected him because he had big ears that stuck out from the sides of his head. I don't now if you're looking around for a particular age/ethnicity/build/look/weight or not, but if you are, maybe if you broadened your scoop a little and hung out in groups with a bunch of different types of women and just got to know them, you might hit on one that is really compatible with you, despite not matching your initial idea of your perfect woman.
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on Mar 24, 2015 16:33:00 GMT -5
Maybe T-dog should try dating women
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 12, 2024 1:21:18 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2015 17:55:59 GMT -5
I can't tell from a lot of the names who are the males here and who are the females.
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 24, 2015 18:00:30 GMT -5
One night stands ? I had one that lasted almost 8 yrs
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Mar 24, 2015 19:05:34 GMT -5
I want to be ten years into a good marriage.
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trimommy
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Post by trimommy on Mar 24, 2015 19:14:27 GMT -5
I have a friend in her early 50s who said once she passed 35, every man she met was either married or damaged. She says she left her husband thinking there was someone better, but it never happened because women don't let go of good men. Her theory is that any man over the age of 40 is already married or isn't married because of some serious flaws.
So... Good luck? Sorry to be a downer!
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Lizard Queen
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103/2024
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 24, 2015 19:49:39 GMT -5
Yeah, it does kind of suck. Sort of like GEL talked about, I met my DH when I was finally okay with being alone. It was a slippery slope though, in that I started to prefer being alone. Glad DH was persistent! As far as the "socially retarded" comment is concerned, I have to think about that. That's some pretty loaded language for someone who isn't in a hurry to settle down before 30.
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Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 24, 2015 20:23:42 GMT -5
Find a sport where you can meet a lot of people like in a tennis league. Tennis groups usually have a lot of mixer events like doubles tournaments and go out for drinks afterward. Dart leagues have a lot people but I don't know much about them. They play in bars. Golfers usually get into a 4-somes and stay there so it's hard to meet people. Depending on where you live, there could be volunteer opportunities at larger tournaments that would increase the number of people you meet. Bridge or other card games can expand the people you know. The idea is to find some diversions that have a wide variety of people that you see frequently.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Mar 24, 2015 20:27:28 GMT -5
LOL!!!!
That was a good one.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 24, 2015 20:30:19 GMT -5
I would say anyone over the age of 30 is damaged to some degree. It's how they handle the damage is what counts.
My GrS bounces at bars on the weekends so he is dodging women all the time.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Mar 24, 2015 21:31:15 GMT -5
Not necessarily true. Sometimes we get divorced (or stay single afterward) because the women are damaged....
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Mar 25, 2015 6:01:47 GMT -5
pat & I are pretty much the same age. I have been a widow for >10 years. I did try online dating but only men WAAAAY older than I responded which I was NOT interested in dating to become a housekeeper/nursemaid. Men closer to my age at the time (59) were looking for women in their 30's or early 40's.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 25, 2015 7:09:02 GMT -5
Indeed it does.
I realized the other day That out of the thirteen people in my extended family of my generation, I'm one of only three not married. The others two others are mentally challenged or have behavioral issues, and will probably never get married.
Between the people I knew in college and my friends now, I'm one of the only people who hasn't "settled down."
I try not to get melodramatic about it, but it does seem sometimes that part of life, stable companionship, just left me behind. The thought is pretty depressing sometimes.
Anyway, no specific advice. You'll want to talk to those who have had more success than me for advice. But I can offer sentiments of solidarity, for what it's worth.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Mar 25, 2015 7:21:20 GMT -5
My MIL that has been single for the past 28 years since her husband passed away finally decided she is ready to "date". She is 63-64 and is looking more for companionship than anything else. She has had some success at ... Wait for it... CHURCH! She has one that she is seriously into enough to introduce us to. He is about 75 and seems like a nice enough guy, his wife passed away a couple years ago. But really for now she is just looking to get out of the house, lunch, trips etc and it relieves us from being her only source of entertainment. I have been asking her for a decade to get out there, glad that she is finally out there; somewhat
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 7:32:57 GMT -5
My MIL that has been single for the past 28 years since her husband passed away finally decided she is ready to "date". She is 63-64 and is looking more for companionship than anything else. She has had some success at ... Wait for it... CHURCH! She has one that she is seriously into enough to introduce us to. He is about 75 and seems like a nice enough guy, his wife passed away a couple years ago. But really for now she is just looking to get out of the house, lunch, trips etc and it relieves us from being her only source of entertainment. I have been asking her for a decade to get out there, glad that she is finally out there; somewhat Uh-oh. She's going to decide traveling with this guy is more fun than babysitting your future baby and shack up with him instead! My Grandmother married for the third time when she was in her 80's. Full church wedding with all the bells and whistles. She had outlived her first two husbands. She was married to number 3 for TWELVE YEARS and they went on several big trips together, then she passed away 11 days after he did. So...always hope I guess.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 25, 2015 7:58:30 GMT -5
I've had people suggest church to me. While I consider myself a Christian I've never really found an organized sect of it that I find appealing, though I haven't looked too hard.
I'm pretty sure at this point I'll either spontaneously combust, be tried as a witch, or stoned for blasphemy if I try to join one. Lmao.
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 25, 2015 8:01:14 GMT -5
I've had people suggest church to me. While I consider myself a Christian I've never really found an organized sect of it that I find appealing, though I haven't looked too hard. I'm pretty sure at this point I'll either spontaneously combust, be tried as a witch, or stoned for blasphemy if I try to join one. Lmao.That is so me except that I am also afraid that the ceiling beams and support structure will come crashing down also and I wouldn't want to cause harm to anyone else in the process
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 25, 2015 8:47:36 GMT -5
If I had suggestions I wouldn't be single! Though I have gotten more selective as I've gotten older so bad fits fizzle out quicker. Online dating turns into a lot less first dates then it used to. (I tell myself I'm being selective, not that its because I'm older and no one likes me lol). But I'm also getting closer to being the only cousin that hasn't been married at least once. I think dating as you get older gets more challenging. Often there is a reason (or a whole bunch of reasons) why the single folks in your age group have remained single. I think the trick when you get a bit older is to find the person who has been a bit socially retarded, but is now ready for a serious relationship. The socially retarded are a much smaller group than the self absorbed wack jobs. I think there is probably a cadre of older singles who got absorbed in their career and climbing the corporate ladder. It is easy to get caught up in the routine of going to work and hanging out at home all the time because you're tired.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 25, 2015 9:13:38 GMT -5
I've been happily married for many more years than I wasn't married (I'm an old broad of 55) so I don't think I really qualify to give dating advice. I actually dated in the stone ages pre cell phones, if you can believe that. However, I have two GF who are both mid forties, who were both on multiple dating websites and went out on many first dates, but never had them turn into much more than a brief fling. Both of them fixated on what they wanted the men they dated to look like, and wouldn't consider dating anyone who didn't meet their idea of 'handsome.' There was one guy who was extremely smart, with a great sense of humor, and I thought he would have been a great match for one of my friends, but she rejected him because he had big ears that stuck out from the sides of his head. I don't now if you're looking around for a particular age/ethnicity/build/look/weight or not, but if you are, maybe if you broadened your scoop a little and hung out in groups with a bunch of different types of women and just got to know them, you might hit on one that is really compatible with you, despite not matching your initial idea of your perfect woman. Broadening your scope with online dating is a bit of a catch 22. For example, initially I put in my profile that I open to dating someone with a few extra pounds to lose. However, my definition of a few extra pounds is 10-20lbs over a healthy BMI, but I found that many inquiries I received were from men who were 100+ lbs overweight and completely sedentary. I do think it's great to be open to all types of people, but there is also no point in wasting someone's time if you are dating someone who you know pretty quickly isn't a good fit.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 25, 2015 9:19:48 GMT -5
I was thinking about getting a cat. Only thinking, mind you, because I'm not sure how the dog-man of the house would handle it. The thread about pissed off kitties changed my mind. LOL! Some cats and dogs get along beautifully but it so much depends on the animal. The pit bull next door has a kitty of his own. It's a stuffed kitty but he takes it wherever he goes in the house and washes it faithfully. He is the cutest dog! He often comes to the back door to say hello to my cats. They've all gotten used to seeing each other through the windows, so nobody panics - even if I open the door. The cats don't try to run out and the dog doesn't try to run in but there's a lot of excited barking and meowring. All and all, the whole crew is pretty well-behaved. My kitties spend all the time trying to convince my dog that she's a cat and should cuddle with them. We got her as an adult, so she's wary of cats and think they have ulterior motives. My cats like it when my parent's dogs visit, they are up for cuddles and face washing.
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Lizard Queen
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103/2024
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 25, 2015 9:20:40 GMT -5
Oh yeah, in online-dating-land, a few extra pounds = obese. Apparently, there is a fudge-factor for age, once over a certain #. At least, that's kinda what this one guy I dated said. He lied about his age by almost 10 years. (Yes, I suspected as much after his comment.)
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 25, 2015 9:24:06 GMT -5
I've been off and on dating sites since college. They're a lot better when you're not looking for something serious. I paid for a membership with one and didn't get a single date and the only guys that messaged me were overweight or old enough to be my father - biggest waste of money ever.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2015 9:26:24 GMT -5
I think dating as you get older gets more challenging. Often there is a reason (or a whole bunch of reasons) why the single folks in your age group have remained single. I think the trick when you get a bit older is to find the person who has been a bit socially retarded, but is now ready for a serious relationship. The socially retarded are a much smaller group than the self absorbed wack jobs. I think there is probably a cadre of older singles who got absorbed in their career and climbing the corporate ladder. It is easy to get caught up in the routine of going to work and hanging out at home all the time because you're tired. Or have too much going on with their kids.
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Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 25, 2015 9:30:44 GMT -5
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 25, 2015 13:52:46 GMT -5
I liked dating but then I wasn't looking for anything serious just guys for fun. If one turned serious, that would have been okay, but I actually ended things with a few guys who did want serious relationships. it wouldn't have been fair otherwise. The guy I dated for several years before ending things to be with DH didn't take it well. I thought we were on the same page but I guess we weren't. Or he just wanted to be the one to end things. Who knows? Lots of well maintained women in Florida so you have a lot to do if you want to be out there man chasing!!
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 26, 2015 1:33:07 GMT -5
Stop treating dating like the great mate search, and just look at it as an opportunity to make a new friend? Only advice I ever give people I do think women have it rougher than men when it comes to dating, simply because y'all outnumber us. Add in the fact that the herd of desirable men is culled by such factors as unemployment, criminal history, anger management issues, mental issues, weight issues, etc, and there is even a smaller group of real candidates to choose from. On the flip side, the men who are desirable have several options to choose from because of sheer numbers.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 26, 2015 7:10:15 GMT -5
Stop treating dating like the great mate search, and just look at it as an opportunity to make a new friend? Only advice I ever give people I do think women have it rougher than men when it comes to dating, simply because y'all outnumber us. Add in the fact that the herd of desirable men is culled by such factors as unemployment, criminal history, anger management issues, mental issues, weight issues, etc, and there is even a smaller group of real candidates to choose from. On the flip side, the men who are desirable have several options to choose from because of sheer numbers. That hasn't been the case in my experience. Women seem to have most of the power in dating situations, at least at younger ages. My dad said told me that at younger ages, women have it easier, but at older ages, men have it easier. I'm not sure where the "cutoff" is, maybe 35 or 40? I don't know if it's true or not, but I can see how that might be the case.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on Mar 26, 2015 8:43:08 GMT -5
Stop treating dating like the great mate search, and just look at it as an opportunity to make a new friend? Only advice I ever give people I do think women have it rougher than men when it comes to dating, simply because y'all outnumber us. Add in the fact that the herd of desirable men is culled by such factors as unemployment, criminal history, anger management issues, mental issues, weight issues, etc, and there is even a smaller group of real candidates to choose from. On the flip side, the men who are desirable have several options to choose from because of sheer numbers. I think this is generally pretty accurate, especially for women who are hoping to find someone around their age, with similar interests, etc. I also think that many women who are self-supporting and have full lives, are a lot pickier. They aren't going to settle for someone who isn't at the same place in their life. And that makes it more challenging given the number disparity.
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